Understand that a new life is beginning. How to start a new life and change yourself. How to deal with postpartum depression

A person is faced with the need to change everything, how to start a new life? What compels him? Parting or loss, illness or disappointment. At one “wonderful” moment it suddenly becomes clear: “ If I don't change my life I'm done».

It feels like there is a wall in front of you, behind which a new life is hiding. Maybe it's made of brick. Or from cardboard. Push her? Bypass? Find a side passage? I can't decide on anything. I just stand there, look at this wall, and do nothing.

In which direction to change - options are quickly found. It can be this way, it can be that way. And a mirage is already looming in the distance - “ this is how I will live...»

And then - the wall. And misunderstanding: “ Why can't I take a step? What is holding me back? What's holding me back?

There are several options. Choose yours.

  • Fear

« What if I can't? What's waiting for me there? What if this is self-deception?»

  • Impotence

« I want to go there, I want to break through. But I can't. We need to concentrate and take a step, a breakthrough. And it was as if my whole body was paralyzed. I can't bring myself to do anything. Too much effort has already been spent. The minutes are passing and I'm just not able to»

  • Doubt

« What if this is just an illusion, and nothing awaits me ahead? I’ll believe, I’ll make a leap, but what’s ahead will be the same? Or maybe even worse.»

  • Cargo

There will always be those who say: “ Wait, where are you going?“They will pull you back with words, looks, and actions.

Things that need to be completed before the wall is destroyed. One thing. Two. Three. Then - a lot! What kind of breakthrough is there if it only works backwards?

  • Guilt.

« How dare I want a better life? It's my own fault that there's a wall in front of me. I shouldn't poison the beautiful world of the oasis with my presence»

  • Self-flagellation

« I don't deserve anything else. Pulling my burden is my lot. Only a strong, brave, bright person could break through the barrier and deserve happiness. I don't have what life rewards me for»

A way to start a new life, how to win the fight against yourself?

In this fight, you will always be both a winner and a loser. In any case, you will have to lose something. A familiar way of life, old habits, friends. But the reward can also be significant: peace, joy, hope for the future, for some, even the entire open world.

But in order for the battle to take place, for the wall to be passed, one must study oneself well. After all, besides the psychologist, you yourself are your ally. The enemy, no matter how offensive it may be, is you too.

The beginning of a new life. What are you like?

Impetuous or leisurely? Rational or reckless? Logical or intuitive? Sociable or reserved? Focused on the inner world or appreciating the external manifestations of processes?

The choice of weapon of victory will depend on the answers to these questions.

Let's move from lyrics to practice.

Perhaps you know the answers to all these questions. Then, congratulations, the task has become easier. But if you don’t understand what is about you and what is not about you?

The easiest way to understand yourself is to get to know each other better, as if you were an outsider. A drawing or photograph will help you do this.

How to get to know yourself?

Personally, I like the option with a pattern. It is more creative, which means it involves more of the soul, psyche, and unconscious.

You need to depict yourself in the drawing. Portrait resemblance is not important. It is necessary that you personally understand: “ It's me!“It’s best to draw a figure on A4 sheet that has some resemblance to you. Perhaps there will be similarities in clothes, hairstyle, eye color, favorite pose. Image size - as you wish.

If you don’t like to draw, take your favorite photo where you like yourself. Where are you happy and contented?

Sitting calmly, without being distracted by fuss, get to know the depicted hero. You ask questions, and you give answers from the hero’s position.

Questions for your hero

Here are the main questions whose answers are important to you:

-What do you value in yourself? Name at least three character or appearance traits.

- How do you prevent yourself from becoming happy? Name at least three habits, or character traits, or external manifestations.

- What do you want to find behind the “wall”?

-What do you want to leave here?

I really count on your ability to analyze independently. If something doesn’t work out, I’m ready to help.

Got answers? Be able to draw conclusions from it in order to choose your own path to overcome the obstacle.

These are the options that I know of. Again, I invite you to choose.

How can I destroy the wall?



I will name the main approaches, including yours.

  1. Wait and mature.

The most difficult method, suitable only for deeply intuitive people who know how to “feel the moment.”

If you cannot get to the “other” side, then you are not ready yet. A lot of things have accumulated in your soul that require inner awareness. Or you don't feel ready to start a new life. Then - mature, relying on your intuition. In one truly wonderful moment, you will easily take a step forward and the wall will collapse by itself.

Secret: Know that change is inevitable. Be 100% confident that you will take a step forward. The feeling of certainty does not come from somewhere outside, but from within you. If you're intuitive, you know exactly what I'm talking about. People like you have the phrase in their vocabulary “I felt that it couldn’t be any other way”

2. Small business

How to start a new life - start small, but radical. Women often intuitively do exactly this.

I went and got a new haircut. I bought a new blouse. I called and made an appointment for the procedure. I deleted an unnecessary contact from my address book. I bought a plane ticket.

That's it, the point of no return has been passed. The main thing is not to look back.

This does not require global moral or physical effort. In standby mode - hop! - that's all. Without hesitation. An option for those who rely on the outside world and the 5 human senses for support.

Secret: to feel that the world has inevitably changed. That is, yesterday, before your action, it was like this, but now it’s different. Even if the difference in fact is only in the color of your hair, it feels different! You are different. This means that the new “I” can destroy any wall.

3. Salvation Army

If you are ready, involve your loved ones to help. Delegate tasks. Let you, lethargic and

helpless, trusted persons move towards the beginning of a new life. And you will be able to thank when you are able!

This method is suitable for those who live by communication. In whose house the doors are never closed, in whom there is a “support group” - sisters, brothers, friends, buddies with whom you can not only talk, but also be silent.

Women's mistakes in marriage Now this book can be purchased under special conditions. I conduct consultations daily. Read more about consultations on the page

Hello! In this article we will tell you how to start a new life. Today you will learn:

  • What reasons force people to start life from scratch.
  • How and what to change.
  • Advice from psychologists that will help you change yourself and your environment.

Reasons to start life over with a new leaf

For all people, sooner or later there comes a time when you want to give up on everything and radically change your life. There is a desire to turn back time and correct mistakes. There may be many reasons for this, but everyone has their own. We tried to collect and highlight the most common ones. Namely:

  • Least favorite place to work. It's not often you meet a person who works at a job he loves. Often we choose a profession not according to the call of our hearts, but based on some circumstances (for example, we are satisfied with the salary or work schedule).
  • Relationships that have exhausted themselves. In order to find your soul mate, sometimes you have to build relationships with several partners. With some people get short-term alliances, with others longer ones. Often, each partner understands that this is not their soul mate, but no one wants to change anything in their life. Then the couple continues a relationship that has no future. In this case, both suffer.
  • Unsettled personal life. Dissatisfaction with the present may be due to the fact that a person does not have a life partner. Such people want to start a family and arrange their personal life. But for some reason this cannot be done. Many people decide to start a new life after a divorce, hoping for a bright future.
  • Bad habits. Very often our lives are spoiled by bad habits. For example, a person likes to drink. It seems like nothing, but when alcohol becomes the cause of uncontrollable behavior and unpredictable consequences, changes are vital for an addicted person.
  • Serious illnesses. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless against illness. When a person becomes seriously ill, he begins to approach life differently. All the troubles that happened before seem insignificant. A person can have a hard time bearing not only his own illness, but also the troubles of people close to him.
  • Problems with excess weight. People with extra pounds are often dissatisfied with their body and the state of affairs. They understand that something needs to change, because their personal life, health, degree of self-esteem, etc. depend on it.

Where to start a new life

The hardest thing in any business is taking the first step. Many people who decide to start their lives from scratch experience chaos in their thoughts. They understand that something needs to change, but they don’t know where to start.

We have selected a few tips that will not let you get confused at the first stage of change.

  1. Finish all previously started tasks. You shouldn't start a new life with unresolved issues. For example, your ex-boyfriend still calls, talks about his problems and wants to renew the relationship. If this communication is unpleasant and uncomfortable for you, take courage and express your opinion about the current situation. Let the person go and start a new life.
  2. Get rid of unnecessary things and garbage. It is believed that if you have not used an item for a year, you will no longer need it. Clean up your surroundings.
  3. Forget the past. The past will forever remain in the past. If you decide to change your job and take the first steps, don’t look back, don’t think that maybe you made a mistake. You are starting a new period of life, and the previous one has already passed.
  4. Say goodbye to the present. Try to live for tomorrow. Make plans, think that a happier period of life awaits you ahead.
  5. Determine for yourself a clear. For example, if you want to become a financially independent person, then you don’t need to immediately dream of a million-dollar fortune. Try to identify a realistic dream. Once achieved, you can always set the bar higher.
  6. Motivate yourself. Depending on your goal, you need to think about what methods of motivation you will use. For example, you are dissatisfied with your appearance due to excess weight. In this case, you can hang photographs of models throughout your apartment; their bodies will encourage you to exercise and eat right.
  7. Keep a positive attitude. People with an optimistic outlook on life begin a new life. Repeat to yourself several times a day the phrase “I am strong, I can do anything.” Over time, you will believe in your strength, and you will be able to overcome any problems.
  8. Decide what exactly you want to change. Write it down, draw it, say it out loud.
  9. Visualize your dream. Imagine how you wanted to live in 5-10 years. Many people with a clear vision of the future achieve their dreams in reality.
  10. Believe in yourself and your strengths. If you do not have faith that you will realize your plans, then others will not believe it. It is impossible to achieve anything without believing in yourself.

How to change your life. Active phase

After you have mentally said goodbye to your past life and continue to look into the future with optimism, you need to move on to the active phase.

If you decide to change your job, start going to interviews and looking for suitable vacancies. If the reason for changes in life is excess weight, then sign up for a gym today and start eating healthy.

In addition, use the following tips to help you quickly quit everything, move away and start your life again.

In order to change your life for the better, you need to act today. We have compiled a sample daily routine and necessary rituals that will help you feel like a new person.

  1. Wake up earlier than usual . Setting your alarm clock just a few minutes earlier will still add something new to your life.
  2. Go for a run or do some exercise . Physical activity not only has a beneficial effect on the body, strengthens the spirit, but also improves mood.
  3. Take a contrast shower . Thanks to it, you will improve your body, become well-invigorated and finally wake up.
  4. Now you can take a few minutes to meditate . After charging, your body has finally woken up, but now you need to tune your mind in the right way. Meditation is perfect for this.
  5. Have a good breakfast .

After all the procedures done, you will certainly be in a great mood, which you will need to maintain throughout the day.

  • Go to work, and do not forget to smile at everyone, even strangers. After a while, you will notice that the people around you also radiate joy.
  • In the process of work and rest, try to communicate with people - “lighters” who will ignite in you the enthusiasm to conquer new heights.
  • At the end of the day, take time for self-development. You can read books, watch educational programs, listen to an audiobook, study foreign languages, etc.

How changes occur at different periods of life

At different periods of life, people's values ​​are different.

  • A 20-year-old person tolerates changes more easily and is inclined to think less and act more.
  • 30-year-old people are more thoughtful about trying to start a new life. It is at this age that a person strives to find himself. During this period, there is a desire to change specialty and place of residence.
  • Starting a new life at 40 is more difficult. People do not radically change their existing way of life so often, but during this period there is an active reassessment of values. For most parents, their children have grown up and do not require their care. Therefore, people at this age begin to pay more attention to themselves.
  • At 50 years old, women feel that they are still young, and their future depends only on themselves. They change themselves, make adjustments to their lives. It is often at this age that people find their soul mates and begin to live for their own pleasure.

No matter how old you are, if you decide to change your life and start over from scratch, we recommend:

  • Look to the future with optimism;
  • Don't be afraid of change;
  • Change yourself and your environment;
  • Find a new hobby;
  • Set a goal for yourself and develop an algorithm for achieving it;
  • Change your attitude towards life.

Advice from psychologists that will encourage you to take action

If you contact a psychologist with the question, “How to start a new life and change yourself?”, most likely you will be asked to do some exercises. Now we will analyze them in detail.

  1. Collage of wishes. Take a piece of paper (it’s better if it’s a Whatman paper of at least A3 size) and several women’s magazines. Make a list of your wishes. Cut out pictures from magazines that match your wishes and paste them on a poster. Place your poster in a visible place. You must see him constantly. As your wishes come true (and they will definitely begin to come true), cross them out. Thanks to the collage, you will not forget about your goals.
  2. Saying goodbye to bad qualities. Think about what negative qualities you are endowed with. It could be envy, laziness, fear of change, etc. Write them all down on a piece of paper and set it on fire. Now take the ashes and scatter them to the wind. At the same time, mentally imagine that you have gotten rid of these qualities, and they will never return to you.
  3. We draw up a summary of the life we ​​have lived. Often, when a person strives to start over from scratch, he becomes disappointed in the years he has lived and becomes depressed. It seems to him that part of his life has been lived in vain. But this is not always the case. Take a piece of paper and write down the joyful events of the past years, your achievements or successes. For example, you received a higher education, achieved recognition and respect at work, became parents, traveled and saw the world, etc. There is no need to perceive the past as the worst part of your life. It’s just a passed stage, after which a happy future opens up. Article

How many times on Sunday evening have you said to yourself: “That’s enough! It's time to start a new life! I can do it, I can handle it! Starting Monday I’ll start a new life: quit smoking/learn English/find a new, more interesting job/lose weight (options are possible). Then they smiled happily, realizing that half the work had already been done, and, yawning sweetly, fell asleep early so that on Monday they could get up fully armed, awaiting the arrival of a new life.

But that was not the case. On Monday, for some reason, the alarm clock didn’t go off on time and you, cursing, stuffed yourself with a sandwich as you ran, completely forgetting about your firm intention to get up early, do exercises, take a contrast shower and cook oatmeal. Then, having come to work in the most gloomy mood, they sat down at their already pretty boring desk and returned to the routine boring work that they abandoned on Friday with the thought that they would never return to it. At lunch, instead of posting a resume, we dragged ourselves with the same colleagues who were always promising to get involved in the smoking room. And in the evening, while brewing instant coffee, wincing, we remembered the promises not to be lazy and drink good tea at work, and about other moments that on Sunday evening seemed so pleasant and fresh, but now on Monday are simply impossible to fulfill...

What went wrong? Why are old habits so difficult to break? How to wake up on Monday morning ready for a new life?

For starters, forget about Monday. A new life begins the minute you want to accept it. It could be Sunday evening, twelve in the afternoon on Wednesday, if you like, or seven in the evening on Friday.

Decide for yourself - do you want to truly change, change your habits and work on yourself? Don't ask yourself if you can do it. Anyone who immediately began to doubt has already given up. You will find opportunities if you have a clear vision of the goal and strive for it.

So, first, define your goal. The goal should be only yours, and not imposed by someone. Everyone quits smoking and so do I. No, you are the master of your destiny. And only you can decide whether to change your life or not.

Second, find like-minded people. If you dream of losing weight, search the Internet for relevant forums and groups. Subscribers often support each other, share recipes for dietary dishes, and talk about experiences and mistakes. Likewise for those who want to quit smoking or find a job.

Third, don’t be afraid to fail and relapse. Only those who do nothing make mistakes. Your success will gradually come from just such defeats and your successful attempts to control yourself.

Fourth, let go of your past. You are no longer that doubting and timid person. You are a person capable of changing yourself. There is no need for you to be sad about the times when you were embarrassed about your body or silently endured the attacks of your boss. All this is in the past. Now there is only a new bright present.

Fifth, don’t expect anyone to do everything that will help you change. Help yourself. Become your own best friend, chief adviser and critic. Listen to yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself. But don’t reproach either.

Sixth, never complain or envy those who have already achieved similar goals. You walk your own path. You are confident. Sooner or later you will come where you set out. Complaints and envy push the result further and further.

Seventh, take a moment, stop and look back. It is useful to do this to once again analyze what other steps you can take and what steps you have already taken.

Work on yourself and on Monday morning in the mirror - you will see a completely new person!

Julia Inamora's article entitled does not quote from the Bible, it is not filled with links to authoritative sources, but it contains thoughts that are useful to any person, including church ministers. I think that the reader himself will evaluate it on its merits.

Do you know when fitness clubs have the highest concentration of people per square meter? On Mondays and at the beginning of the year. These are the same starters of a new life coming from Monday. And “starting from scratch” in January is generally a sacred thing. However, most Monday adherents very soon “merge”, life returns to its usual course. To avoid becoming one of them, the following 8 “reasons” should be taken on the contrary. And do the complete opposite!
After some time, they make another attempt to start over, and over and over again all their attempts to change something in their lives fail. Does this sound familiar to you? Then stop torturing yourself, you won’t succeed anyway. And here's why.

1. You don't know what you want

You understand that you are not satisfied with your life, you know that you want changes, but you don’t know where to start and what measurable result you need. Without a clear goal, you will never force yourself to do anything. Decide on a goal, write a list of actions that will lead you to this goal or at least bring you closer, select from them those that need to be done first, and start.

2. You're afraid of not succeeding.

It’s difficult to start a business if you don’t know in advance what awaits you: will you become successful, or will all your endeavors go down the drain. I'll tell you what awaits us: we will all die! Therefore, there is no point in being afraid of failure at something. Time passes, there is no need to waste it on empty fears. It is better to try and fail than not to try at all.

3. You expect instant results

You want to wake up tomorrow rich, famous, with the figure of a fashion model and the man of your dreams, dropping to one knee and begging you to become his wife. But life is not a fairy tale, fairy godmothers do not fly to us to make candy out of sh*t with a wave of a magic wand. In our harsh reality, even the slightest changes in life will require a lot of work. This is depressing, because you want everything at once. You are not ready for long-term work, so you see no incentive to start. But a journey of a thousand kilometers begins with the first step.

4. You tend to procrastinate

If you come up with the idea of ​​starting a new life on Monday, on the first day of the month or after a vacation, then you belong to the category of people who put off any business until later. What happens to such plans is no secret to anyone: they remain only dreams that never come true.

5. You don't know how to manage time effectively.

I think you will agree that any business takes time. The mistake of many is that when planning changes, they do not think about planning their new daily routine. After all, to go for a run in the morning, you need to get up early, which means you need to go to bed early. To go to driving lessons or dance lessons in the evening, you need to leave your child with someone. And not just once, but on an ongoing basis. And if all these issues are not resolved in advance, then you will encounter a lot of obstacles simply due to lack of time and energy, and after a couple of lessons you will tell all your Napoleonic plans to hell.

6. You are not ready for difficulties

You seem to want to start taking action, but the very thought of having to change something in your life scares you. Any change is a departure from the usual, and it is almost always difficult. But if you are afraid of change, have a hard time getting used to new people and surroundings, then your brain will constantly give you convenient excuses to drag you back into the familiar. And sooner or later he will win.

7. Your environment does not support you

If family and friends support your aspirations and even encourage you to take real action, then the likelihood that you will start moving your buns increases many times over. And if, on the contrary, they dissuade you or even put a spoke in your wheels, then you most likely will not start a new life. It's difficult to diet when your husband orders pizza to your house every night and persuades you to eat another slice.

8. You don't believe you need it

When a person really needs something, he will not wait for Monday, New Year, the second coming or an alien invasion. He will start here and now, because he has already understood why he needs to quit smoking, take personal growth courses, learn a language or get a second higher education. He sees a goal for which he needs to take certain steps. And he does them. If you are looking for a reason to start, then you don’t believe that you really need it. “Start on Monday” in this case is a kind of kick in the ass, because you cannot find any other reasons.

Sometimes we realize that we are completely stuck, that the life we ​​have is decidedly unsatisfactory for us. There can be many reasons for this: our relationships may fail, we may get tired of the work we do, we may become disgusted with the people we have to deal with, or it may happen that the thought that everything that is around - flares up in the brain like a match. this is far from what we really need.

But regardless of the reasons prompting you to change, you can start all over again by first clarifying everything and defining for yourself guidelines and a plan for changing yourself and your life. I sincerely hope that these 15 steps will help you start a new life and change yourself.

Step 1. Determine the direction of movement and your motivation.

Your life is always a movement towards a certain goal, regardless of whether you are aware of this goal or not. Your previous life, which does not suit you, could have been subordinated to someone else’s false goal, which contradicted your inner nature, your nature, your desires and your values. For example, you were in a relationship that you didn’t really need, or you got a job that you hated, or you communicated with people who turned out to be complete strangers to you.

Now you can determine for yourself which trajectory you should follow, now you are the master of your life path. Use the right motivation. Start from “Where am I going?” and not from “Why am I running?” Running away from something is not a useful motivation. Avoiding unpleasant feelings does not solve real problems. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. Therefore, you will have to deal with them before you start a truly new life.

How to develop a life strategy

Step 2: Free yourself from the weight of loss or defeat

Often serious life events push us to start over. Divorce, separation, collapse of career plans, business ruin, job loss, health conditions. All this leaves a serious emotional imprint and can be a source of constant stress, anxiety, anxiety or even depression. You need to understand that making serious decisions with such baggage is a very dangerous matter.

If a life event has caused you to experience deep and strong emotions, then you need time for everything to calm down. This gap can be shortened if you work through your experiences with the help of within one or more sessions.

Step 3: Examine your life

For the success of your venture to start a new life, it is not enough just to know where you need to go. It is also important to clearly know and clearly understand where you are starting from. Imagine that you are about to take a powerful jump into the water, but you are jumping from a very slippery shore. You spend strength and energy on a powerful jump, but at the decisive moment you slip and everything goes down the drain.

To prevent this from happening in your story, study your past life (it will also be useful to go through express test "Life Analysis"), write it down on paper and study your habits, your past patterns of behavior in different life situations (for example, how you cope with difficulties or react to unexpected opportunities; how much you manage to follow your decisions, etc.).

Surely, in the process of studying your past life and your behavior, you will notice a lot of things that you would not want to notice, that will cause you rejection and internal resistance. But this is exactly what you should pay attention to first.

“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the deception that elevates us,” said Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. What are “low truths”?

They are what you know about yourself, but what it is unpleasant to know, much less hear from others. What you drive away from yourself. Things that require thought make you feel uncomfortable. But in general - to grow. Elevating deception does not promote growth. “Chicken Ryaba” is a film about low truths. I think that's why many people don't take it.

Why wasn’t Chaadaev accepted, why was he declared crazy? Others still categorically deny it. Although he was largely right. But he spoke about “low truths” that caused a feeling of discomfort, which were not customary to talk about. No one has ever been sent to an insane asylum for “exalting deception.” And enough has suffered for the “low truths.” As a rule, it is for them.

And this is true not only in Russia - no one in the world needs the frightening truth. It is needed to hide it. So that only a few would know her and not allow others to see her...

Konchalovsky A., Low Truths, M., “Top Secret Collection”, 1999

Step 4: Examine Your Values

Before making big and serious decisions about what your new life will be like, you should analyze your own life values. If you know what is most important to you, then based on your values ​​it will be easier for you to make the right decisions on how to start a new life and change yourself.

Take a piece of paper and write down on it everything that you believe in, everything that you consider to be the main and important thing in life, in relationships between people, what things make you think deeply or inspire. Look at what you do in life, at what you like to do and ask yourself a simple question: “Why?”, “What is this for?”. The answers you receive can reveal completely unexpected facets of your personality.

You can also look at a few people (this could be living people you know, famous people, or historical figures) that you admire and ask yourself: What do I respect most about them? Why? How might this play out in my own life?

Step 5. Decide what big changes you want to make

For some people, starting a “new life” may mean a drastic change: moving to another city or another country, completely renewing social connections, changing professional field, etc. For others, it may mean small but significant changes, such as liberation away from old habits or behavior patterns and focus on developing a new way of life. Regardless of your desire, make sure you are clear about how big of a change you want to make.

Find out what in your life needs to change. For example, is there something that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied? Or can you decide whether to change every aspect of my life, or would it make more sense to focus on one or two areas? Remember that change (especially when it is carried out without outside support) is always a difficult process, so to achieve success, start small and gradually move up.

Step 6. Create an image of your new future

Do one useful exercise that will help you figure out what goals and objectives to set for yourself and what changes need to be made. In addition, it will give you the necessary motivation and strengthen your intention to change.

Imagine a certain moment in the future. Let this moment have an exact date and time. Imagine that in this future, you have received magical powers to achieve all your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who you want to be.

Imagine this in as much detail as possible. Who surrounds you? Where do you live? What are you doing? What does it look like? Include as much detail as possible to create the clearest image possible. One of my clients imagined that he was a successful designer, he had his own studio, interesting orders came to him from all over the world and he traveled a lot to other countries, doing interesting and amazing things (in reality, after a couple of years he actually founded his own studio and became receive foreign orders).

Now think about your strengths, abilities and skills that are necessary to make this vision of the future become a reality. What do you already have? What areas need improvement? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be a famous musician, then you probably already have musical ability, or at least a love for music. You will also need a stronger mindset to work towards improvements.

Using your imagination to create a vision for the future, make that vision achievable and positive. Obviously, you cannot become a superhero or have any superpowers or superpowers. Here you better think about what attracts you to such a superhero. His desire for justice and protection of the weak? Then you can choose a profession that contributes to the fulfillment of this mission. Or do you like the ability to make quick and error-free decisions? Then imagine how you should train your thinking to reach such a level.

Step 7: Set Clear and Specific Goals

The famous sage Lao Tzu said: a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And your journey to a new life should also begin with concrete steps. Setting clear personal goals will help you move forward confidently and stay on track to build a new life.

Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more.

Set your goals. Make sure that these are well-defined goals, that is, they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and have a clear time frame for achieving them.

Start by defining your big goal, and then break it down into smaller ones. Then break down smaller goals into tasks.

For example, if you decide that you want to find your own business and make it a source of your income, this is your common goal. To achieve it, you will need to achieve smaller goals. For example, the first thing you should do is contact a professional who will help you find the business that suits your purpose (for my clients this service is included in the program «» ), then you need to create a marketing plan and conduct research on your target audience. Examples of tasks here could be: creating a test product, researching people's needs and their readiness to use this product, studying competitors and their products, market analysis, etc. You can split these tasks even further, for example, set yourself the task of communicating with potential clients or going to places where products are sold (services are provided) similar to the product that you are going to provide.

Step 8: Determine the necessary internal changes

In order for your new life project to be crowned with success, you should think carefully about what internal changes you should make to your own personality. In other words, you need to determine who you BE in order to successfully DO what will allow you to HAVE a different life.

Let's see what internal changes these can be.

It could be changes in your physical condition. Perhaps you decide that you should enter a new life with a new body. You may want to get rid of excess weight or increase your level of physical fitness and get a more athletic and developed body. Do not forget that excess weight depends on 2 main reasons: the body is full of sludge and the low level of vital activity.

I recommend that you start by increasing your level of physical activity and do it gradually, increasing the load over a long period of time (at least 45 days) so that it becomes a habit for you. You may need the help of a consultant to develop an optimal program and change beliefs and mental attitudes that prevent you from changing your body.

It will be easier to change the appearance. You can choose your style yourself or consult a stylist. Buy new clothes, change your hairstyle. Remember that the way you dress and look affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Research has proven that when you dress in a way that aligns with your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.

Changes in worldview. This is about the famous expression “You can take the girl out of the village, but you cannot take the village out of the girl.” If you don’t want to be this notorious “girl,” then you have to work hard on how you think and how you perceive the world.

Think about what beliefs the person you want to become should have, how this person should perceive the world, people, events, relationships. What principles and rules should it be guided by? Explore the list of ,to get a completely new view of the world.

Changing your own consciousness is not an easy process. The force of habit, old patterns and inertia of thinking can form the core of your personality. Within the program «» we carry out with clients so that a person can see his true nature and find his true self. After this process, any changes in consciousness with the help of any psychotechniques are much faster and easier.

Emotional changes. For your new life to be prosperous, you need to learn to let go of your past. This includes learning to forgive. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of past trauma and pain. You forgive others not for them, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes you feel less angry and anxious. Also learn to accept defeats and losses as part of life, pass them through the “sieve” of awareness and let them go. And you will feel great relief.

Change the way you approach life by harnessing the power of gratitude. Learn to thank life for any of its manifestations, remember that difficulties on your life’s path are tests, not punishments. Accept them as well as everything good that happens to you.

Research has shown that practicing gratitude makes you feel happier and more satisfied with life; it will help you master flexibility and adaptability to change; will improve your physical health and quality of sleep, and may help you overcome emotional trauma. Practice the power of gratitude for 5 minutes every day, 1 or more times.

Step 9. Reconsider your relationships with people

The world is people, and life is relationships between people. It is difficult to start a new life if there are “toxic” people around you who drag you down. In some cases, it is necessary to “cut” such people out of your life in the interests of your own safety. In other cases, you can simply stop spending time with them and you will feel happier by removing them from your life.

Interpersonal relationships are critical to your functioning and development as a person. Numerous studies show that we greatly influence the people with whom we interact, so when starting a new life, take into it only those people who are important to you and will give you the love and respect you deserve.

One of my clients, having decided to start a new life and open his own business, encountered numerous difficulties, the reasons for which, as it turned out, lay in the fact that his so-called. “friends” were people not inclined to act independently and take responsibility. They were accustomed to living a measured, stable and dull life, and by communicating with them, my client unwittingly received nourishment for those parts of his personality that were resistant to the risks and dangers of entrepreneurial activity. In practice, this led to the fact that “business didn’t work.” My client needed a serious rethinking of the role of these people in his life in order for the situation to change and his business to begin to grow and develop.

The following anecdote illustrates this situation very well:

The old devil drowns three cauldrons of sinners in hell. They send him a young imp for practice.

Young Imp. The Old Devil teaches him:

- So, look - the first boiler. He needs to be monitored carefully. There are Jews sitting here. If even one gets out, he will drag all his people with him...

Second boiler. Here you can keep an eye on the lid. The Americans are sitting here, it’s every man for himself, if one runs away, it’s not scary, he won’t get far anyway.

You don’t have to look at the third cauldron at all. The Russians are sitting here. If even one climbs up, the rest will be grabbed and put in the hottest place.

Clear your space of people:

  • communicating with whom you feel empty or constantly stressed
  • who constantly criticize or judge you. And you feel like you can't do anything right when you're around them.
  • who say bad things about you to your face or behind your eyes
  • with whom you do not feel safe sharing your hopes, thoughts, needs or feelings.

Eliminating unhealthy social relationships will help you move forward more confidently and many times faster towards a happy and healthy life. Developing a positive social environment that does not include your past habits is critical to ensuring your successful path. Surround yourself with people around whom you will grow as a person and develop towards a new life.

Step 10. Start a new financial life

Whether you're fresh out of college or have been working for 30 years, it's never too early or too late to restart your financial life. You may want to start saving for significant life goals, such as buying a house or aging comfortably. Or perhaps you want to reconsider your spending habits to stop wasting them left or right. Or you might want to start investing. Take a look at your goals and decide how you need to manage your money to get what you need.

Try to get rid of all your debts first. Debts are from a previous life. There is no place for them in the new life. One of my clients, after working with her, got rid of 90% of her debts in less than 6 months. If you have more debts than you can pay, then current legislation allows you to pursue personal bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be a suitable option for you.

Then analyze your finances. Structure your income and expenses, start budgeting. See where you can reduce “leakage” (for example, buying unnecessary things), and where you can get extra money (for example, by selling things that you do not use through the avito.ru service). Either way, budgeting will guide you toward good financial decisions.

Step 11: Talk to People

When you decide to start a new life, talking with people who are already living the life you want can be a very useful move. This is useful because it can give you an idea of ​​how to get there. For example, if you want to throw away boring, disgusting work and do something that you love and are interested in, then you just need to look for those people who have already done business in their favorite business and interview them, for example, during which ask about their road map. Perhaps one of these people will agree to become a Mentor for you on the path to a new life.

You can also ask people about difficult moments that may arise in your new life. You may be under the illusion of a new career, a new relationship, a new business, or a new country. Understanding the smallest details that others will tell you about will allow you to avoid many mistakes and wrong moves.

For example, you may dream of leaving your boring job in Moscow and going to Bali, where life is paradise. If you talk to people who already live there, you may discover things you don't know about, such as the fact that it is incredibly expensive, unfriendly visa policies, difficulties with healthcare, difficulty in doing activities that require concentration. Of course, this does not mean that you should not move, but this knowledge will help you better adapt to the realities of your new life.

Step 12: Get support

Starting a new life can be a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and will be able to provide you with help and support on your path. Knowing that you have sources of emotional support will help you feel much stronger as you face the realities of your new life.

If you don't have family or trusted friends who can support you, then it makes sense to look for such support in other places. This could be support within groups or communities of interest or even religious communities. Go where people communicate freely and openly with each other and make new acquaintances.

Step 13. Test yourself

The big life changes that are necessary to start a new life will require serious work, dedication and patience from you. It can be stressful and scary. Make sure you are prepared for this. How are you feeling? What behavior is acceptable for you? Is anything bothering you? Keeping a journal will help you understand your emotions and determine if there are areas in which you need additional support or that require deeper work.

The process of making major and profound changes in your life can often leave you feeling overwhelmed. You may start to feel sad, stop enjoying certain things, feel anxious or guilty, or feel empty or hopeless. In this case, it can help you quickly and painlessly . Working with this technology allows you to eliminate negative emotional feelings during one session.

Step 14: Make any necessary changes

A new life will not mean that difficulties, obstacles and problems will disappear forever. Starting a new career doesn't mean you'll never feel undervalued or uninspired again. Moving to a new city or a new country doesn't mean you'll never miss home. When you have problems, acknowledge them as such and do what you need to do to resolve them and adapt to the situation.

You may encounter a lot of difficulties on your path to a new life. For example, perhaps you wanted to pursue a military career to follow your values ​​of service and honor, but learned that you were not medically fit to enroll in military school. You could view this as a failure and failure of your dream, or you could go back to the drawing board and determine if there are other things you can do that will also allow you to express these core values.

Step 15: Work with a Consultant

Even if you don't think anything is going "wrong" with your new life, it can be helpful to see a counselor or personal trainer, especially when making big changes. The fact is that such a difficult process as starting a new life and changing yourself can contain a variety of mistakes and hidden obstacles that can only be seen from the outside. A good consultant is able to give you high-quality feedback and protect you from wasting time, effort and resources.

Another point is that deep personal changes are always accompanied by stress and internal resistance (self-sabotage). Sometimes they are so strong that you give up and lose all desire to move forward. With the help of a consultant, you can work through and get rid of internal fears that block changes. A counselor can also help you learn useful ways of thinking and responding to challenges.

Seeing a counselor is a sure sign that you love and care about yourself enough to get help when it's needed and helpful, and that's good news. A personal change consultant plays the same role for you as a dentist does for your teeth: you eliminate minor problems and difficulties before they cause catastrophic consequences.

Start a new life today!

After reading this article, you may decide: “Okay, this is all great! I will definitely take these recommendations into account and even start following some of them.” But the fact is that the process of change is a systemic process, where everything is clearly connected to each other and each step affects the other. It is important not to make a mistake here.

Do you want to learn how to start a new life in which there will be self-realization, high meaning, activity, motivation, strength, leadership, new discoveries, energy, exciting changes, an interesting game, new horizons, pleasure from the moment you are living, a clear understanding of your own path, the absence of self-sabotage and uncertainty , clarity of intention and action? And at the same time, you will not make serious mistakes and avoid many pitfalls, and the path itself will take several months instead of decades.

Then . I will give you a solution!