Happiness is a desired goal for most people. Everyone has their own idea about it. And the questions: “How should you live to be happy? By reason or feeling? Should feeling prevail over reason? Or is submission to the voice of reason the only path leading to happiness? - remain open. Writers, classics, who always felt correctly subtle soul people tried to find the answer.
Yes, Bazarov, main character works by I.S. Turgenev's "Fathers and Sons", of course, lived by reason, or rather even by reason. Analysis, reasoning, skepticism - these are his constant companions. Forbidding himself to feel, he also did not understand and did not appreciate the feelings of those around him (father and son Kirsanov, his parents). Even after he fell in love with Odintsova, the hero continued to live, thinking through his every next step. Frightened by his feelings, he chose to hide behind indifference and cynicism. Captivated by Anna Sergeevna’s beauty, he remarks vulgarly: “Such a rich body! At least now to the anatomical theater! And later, appreciating her intelligence, he rudely refers to her as “a woman with a brain.”
But cynicism is a poor defense for a suffering soul. And in the end, having never found happiness, Bazarov falls into a state of blues, indifference to own life, which leads to his early death.
But is it only the mind that can lead to misfortune? Maybe feelings and emotions can also plunge a person into a state of despair?
L.N. Tolstoy in his novel War and Peace shows us in many episodes that this is so. A storm of feelings, emotions, the desire to love and be loved overwhelmed Natasha Rostova when Anatol Kuragin began to court her, waiting for her fiancé, Andrei Bolkonsky. Without realizing it, she was ready to run away with him from her home, into the unknown, leaving behind her fiancé, her parents, her honor, her former life. Undoubtedly, such actions could not lead to good. Subsequently, she bitterly regretted what she had done. But who knows whether she would have been able to live at all, whether she would have forgiven herself if she had nevertheless run away, succumbing to emotions? Yielding to a sudden impulse, a vague hope of happiness?
However, there are examples in literature when heroes find happiness by living mainly either by reason or by feelings. Thus, in Goncharov’s novel “Oblomov,” the rational Stolz and the emotional Oblomov, despite differences in upbringing, beliefs, behavior, and attitude to life, eventually found a family, peace of mind, and became happy.
So what is the best way to live? By reason? Feelings? Or find harmony between them?
I think the latter is closer to the truth. It is important to understand when you can give free rein to your feelings and when you need to follow the voice of reason. This is the only way a person can live in harmony with himself, and therefore be truly happy.
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Essay by Anastasia Koshkina
If Aristotle defined man as homo sapiens, by this he defined not so much a fact as a guideline for a way of life: “Man is the one who lives.” In all centuries, in all world religions, people have been taught to pacify their passions, clear their minds of heated emotions and more often live in spirit. For Christians, “passions” are an obstacle to the soul’s admiration to God.
According to St. Theophan the Recluse, “God created our nature pure from passions. But when we fell away from God and, focusing on ourselves, began to love ourselves instead of God and please ourselves in every possible way, then in this selfhood we perceived all the passions that are rooted in it and are born from it.”
In Islam, the concept of “nafs,” that is, the bodily-sensual essence of a person, is compared to a horse: if the horse is unbridled, it must be fought, if it is curbed, it must be controlled. For secular people The era of Enlightenment proclaimed the supremacy of reason and the need to subordinate to reason all other principles in man and society.
“Timeless, ahistorically understood, always self-identical “reason”, as opposed to “delusions”, “passions”, “sacraments”, was considered by the enlighteners as a universal means of improving society.” - Pavel Gurevich. Philosophy of man. Part 2. Chapter 3. The Age of Enlightenment: the discovery of the subject.
However, times are changing, and starting somewhere in the 60s of the twentieth century, there has been massive propaganda of views “above reason.” Previously, this was only written about in women's novels, however, this soon moved into quasi-spiritual literature (Osho on the priority of intuition and feelings), became fashionable in the books of Paulo Coelho (“live by feelings!”) and soon became commonplace in Gestalt therapy.
"Feeling is closer to intuition. I don't expect the impossible, I don't say: 'Be intuitive' - you can't do that. Right now you can only do one thing - go from head to feeling, that will be enough. Then go from feeling to intuition It will be very easy. But it is very difficult to move from thinking to intuition. They do not meet, they are polar to each other.” - Osho.
The only place where respect for reason is still preserved and where it is proposed to remove feelings when solving serious issues is business. If, when deciding on the placement of shares, you bring your boss not an analysis of stock exchange reports, but refer to your inner feelings, you will soon have to leave your position as a financial advisor.
The slogan “live by feelings” became fashionable when women entered the public scene. Women are great at living with their heads, women are smart and practical, but women like to live with their feelings, and where they can afford it, they do it. At work, a woman thinks well, is responsible and reasonable. But as soon as a text message from her lover appears on the phone, the woman turns off her head and answers not as smart, but as is customary in female culture - impulsively, on the sails of feelings and emotions. When forming decisions in her business plan, a woman calmly considers the risks, but if her child gets sick, her reaction is often emotional: her head turns off, anxiety and worry set in.
To live by feelings or to live, including the head - two are essential different images life. If a person lives by feelings, then he lives his successes through his feelings - through a feeling of joy, lightness and enthusiasm. If a person lives by feelings, then he lives through the mistakes he makes through his feelings - through guilt, worry, repentance and atonement. This is how he lives. If a person lives by reason, his life pattern is different: “Thought and did.” More details: comprehended, assessed, rethought and drew conclusions, set a task, adjusted behavior, assessed the results, set the following tasks. This is how a reasonable person acts.
Why do some people live by feelings, while others live by their heads? First of all, this is the result of upbringing. The way people are taught is how they live.
I lived among those who always used their heads - I was used to living the same way. I lived among those who always lived by feelings, for me this became my norm of life. Children and some girls are so accustomed to living by feelings that they can once be guided by their heads.
Age and gender characteristics play a certain role. Children more often live by feelings, adult life assumes a greater role of reason, however, where people can choose their lifestyle independently, men are more often guided by reason, women by feelings.
Against the backdrop of a hormonal storm, it is really difficult to turn on your head, and if a girl is expected to have a soft character rather than a sharp mind, then she may not develop the habit of “turning on her head.” And it will be difficult to turn on your head.
Is it difficult to live with your head turned on? At first, turning your head on often can be difficult, but over time it becomes easier and easier. On the one hand, the head learns to always think and it becomes natural, just like using a spoon and fork while eating (this is no longer annoying, moreover, without it you even feel somehow uncomfortable, right?), on the other hand, in the course of life, many similar situations will gradually be solved by established templates, automatically. You do everything as needed, and your head is free. See Patterns: harm or benefit.
Fragment from the series "Sex in big city": Samantha decided to have an affair with a rich man. He gave her VERY expensive gifts, but when she saw him naked, Samantha CHANGED HIS MIND and ran away (well, with the gifts). Actually, it was a scam, but because she did it without thinking, but in feelings, then there seem to be no ethical claims against her. Well, what do you want from a woman in feelings? - Yes, living with feelings is convenient, since you can throw considerations of responsibility and ethics out of your head.
Those who do not use their heads and live by feelings have other troubles, and even if they have at least some intelligence, with age the understanding comes: “it is useful to think.” However modern life is arranged in such a way that it is quite possible to live your life without including your head, in difficult situations you can just cry, and in very difficult situations kind relatives and social security will always help. The only question is: would you want to live next to such a person? Will you teach this to your children?
Value reason, live with your head. Learn to think, turn to your mind more often - both your own mind and the minds of the people around you. Does this mean that you need to live without emotions? Of course not! Just differentiate between left and right emotionality. Indeed, there is impressionability and impulsive reaction, and there is strength of temperament and emotional expressiveness. The tendency to throw out feelings, impressionability and impulsive reactions is rather a problematic feature and a bad habit that makes people worry in vain, make stupid purchases and make decisions that both the person himself and those around him will regret. This is left-wing emotionality. On the other hand, high emotional energy, expressive gestures and strength of temperament - useful tool and a successful personality trait, since it is easily combined with reasonable decisions and behavior. This is the right emotionality, it is joyful, useful and excellent.
Smart people They color life with emotions, but in situations they know how to push emotions aside and turn to reason.
If your emotions coincide with what you came up with in your head, great, turn on your emotions. If emotions contradict your head, remove them. It is not obvious that you will always come to the best decisions with your head, but this will not mean that you need to live by feelings, but that you need to become a more educated person and learn to think better.
Psychologists say that a person who lives by feelings opens the door to his main enemy - pride.
The main rule
Of course, without feelings and emotions, the world and human perception of it would be boring and monotonous. People would turn into insensitive creatures: no one would be able to sympathize with another or be happy for him. Interest in life would fade away at lightning speed, and people would approach each other only from a rational point of view. Therefore, in order to live fully, you must have feelings and be able to manage them. The most important thing is to learn how to properly manage feelings that are in balance with reason. But! Life shows something else: there is no balance between logic and emotions.
Feelings rule life
Failure to follow the basic rule leads to the fact that feelings begin not only to prevail, but to rule life. People who live by feelings and do not include reason find themselves in constant conflicts with outside world and with ourselves. Moreover, people who live by feelings do not think about the need to turn on their reason at least periodically. A problem arises that requires psychological help.
When a person lives by feelings, he opens the door to his main enemy - pride. In this state, a person begins to distort his idea of himself, to feel himself as something he really is not. Pride, in turn, gives rise to egocentrism and selfishness. A person finds himself in a state where he feels that the whole world revolves around him, and the lives of other people are not interesting to him. Thus, a person becomes a self-sufficient person.
Adviсe
To stop feelings from poisoning your life, you should try to use the following tips:
- Turn on your mind. It will be difficult at first, but over time it will become easier and easier. The time will come, and this process will return to normal. Thus, many similar life situations will gradually begin to be resolved by established templates, that is, automatically. A person begins to live not only with feelings, but also to balance it with his mind, doing everything as needed.
- Learn to think. Turning on your mind does not mean starting to think. According to statistics, the mass personality thinks less than 5% of the time, even when his head is on. When people turn on their minds, they often do not try to think: they are lazy, forget about it, are content with past decisions, stereotyped and habitual constructions of the mind, without specifically thinking about the present situation.
- Find harmony of mind and feelings. In any case, it is always recommended to initially turn to the mind: to your own and to the minds of those around you. If this cannot be done immediately, then resort to the help of feelings. It is important to achieve such harmony: so that the feelings are able to provide subtle information about their psychological state and the condition of other people. At the same time, it is very important to keep in mind: feelings should remain only a tool, and the final decisions should be made by the mind.
- Listen to the words of Saint Theophan: “It is impossible to live without feelings, but it is illegal to give in to feelings... Do this: figure out in advance where what kind of feelings can be aroused, and enter into those circumstances, keeping yourself on guard from heart disturbances, or holding your heart in strong hands. You need to practice this, and with exercise you can achieve complete power over yourself.”
For modern man First of all, the mind is important. This is what we focus on when accepting important decisions. But what about feelings? After all, they also play a certain role in our lives. Should reasonable person live by feelings?
At one stage of evolution, people separated from the animal world. This happened, undoubtedly, thanks to reason. Years, centuries, millennia passed. Epochs replaced each other. Civilization did not stand still. Discoveries were made in science, technical innovations appeared, new lands were developed - reason moved humanity forward.
However, it is unlikely that our existence would be complete if we did not from time to time surrender to the power of various feelings: love and hatred, friendship and hostility, joy and grief, pride and disappointment.
We don't have the same temperament different characters, dissimilar destinies. And therefore our life values are different. Some people live exclusively by reason, always making conscious, informed decisions. Others are accustomed to listening only to the voice of the heart and intuition.
We find many examples of unequal and sometimes directly opposite attitudes towards life in literature.
Natasha Rostova, the heroine of Leo Tolstoy's epic novel, lives by feelings, thinking little about the causes and consequences of her actions. She rejoices and falls in love, is sad and yearning, makes mistakes and experiences remorse. All this outwardly looks unusually natural and cute. It is no coincidence that Natasha is adored by her household; men cannot resist such childlike spontaneity and sincerity of feelings. Denisov falls in love with the girl, she wins the hearts of Pierre Bezukhov and Andrei Bolkonsky, Boris Drubetskoy and Anatol Kuragin are attracted to her. This example shows the attractive power that sincere feelings have for a person.
The hero of the same work, Andrei Bolkonsky, follows reason until a certain time, and feelings do not play any noticeable role in his fate. However, a lot changes when Bolkonsky fell in love with Natasha. Love illuminates Andrei's life, filling it with new meaning, making it bright and rich. The prince had the opportunity to experience a whole range of feelings: joy from reciprocity, bitterness from loss, jealousy, hatred.
At the same time, Andrei does not lose the rational principle - on the contrary, love enriches the life of the mind with new shades and facets. On the eve of the battle of Borodino, like ordinary soldiers, Bolkonsky experiences the “warmth of patriotism.” But love for the Fatherland, as they say, exists highest manifestation mind. At the end of his life, Andrei comprehends the main wisdom - love for God. It turns out that the secret of human happiness is a harmonious combination of reason and feeling. Isn’t this what the life of Tolstoy’s hero proves?
So, despite decisive role reason and feelings are of great importance for each of us. They brighten up our existence, adding new meaning to it. Of course, it’s not worth living only by feelings. But they cannot be ignored either.