The expression “it’s good where we are not” can be called a “lid” phrase. If we cannot explain our experiences to ourselves and others, we hide behind this universal excuse. According to existential psychologist Irina Shelyshey, this formulation can hide different feelings: daydreaming, regret, hope and even disappointment. Well, let's find out what's hidden under the lid?
Desire to protect yourself
The idea that there is some wonderful and unattainable place can form in early childhood, especially if it was emotionally difficult. For example, parents were not supportive or even humiliated. In this case, the child develops a destructive attitude: “If they treat me badly, then I deserve it.” Growing up, such people are sure that good does not exist. Regret, despair, powerlessness are their usual emotional companions. And in order to protect himself from difficult experiences, the child forms a dream of a safe place, of “there” where no one offends. According to family systems therapist Maria Shumikhina, the peculiarity of such a mental shelter is that it is always “not here” - that is, not in the parental family.
We are looking for a compromise
To change this attitude, it is necessary to separate “there and then”, that is, a difficult childhood, and “here and now” - the present independent life. Then evaluate whether today's fantasies are in the best possible way cope with difficulties? Such reflections will teach you to take care of yourself in small ways, create a circle of friends, and do not hesitate to turn to loved ones for support. After all, dreams often support and give strength, but do not allow you to think about how exactly you can improve your current situation.
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Avoiding disappointment
Quite often, the phrase “it’s good where we are not” serves as “rose-colored glasses” - that is, it helps to ignore the bad. This strategy allows us to fall in love, admire, and experience delight. In a word, feel positive emotions more intense. We usually idealize something new, with which we are not yet sufficiently familiar: work, a man, acquaintances, unexplored places. “Normally, our understanding of reality should gradually level out,” explains psychoanalyst Evgenia Gaiduchenko. — A period of depreciation begins, and the attitude towards something becomes more objective and realistic. And we gain the ability to act, make plans and achieve goals.” We prefer to experience positive emotions, so it’s not surprising: we try to stay in the idealization stage for as long as possible.
We are looking for a compromise
You can stay motivated and active in two simple steps. The first is to learn from everything that fascinates, to see the other, everyday side. For example, if we sincerely believe that it is good only where we are not, question and reconsider this idea. Is everything “out there” really as safe as it seems? What information is needed to form an objective opinion? What pleasant things do “there” and “here” have in common? The second step is to begin to regain some responsibility for what is happening in reality. For example, you can ask yourself: what important life tasks does this phrase help you avoid? What good could I learn? How will this help me improve my current situation?
Way to complain
Not everyone can directly admit: “You know, I don’t really like all this.” It’s much easier to just hint to others about your mood without being branded a grouch. For example, tell someone that somewhere else life is better. We learn to hide our “badness” behind impersonal, stable formulations, again in childhood. This belief is associated with parental prohibitions on the manifestation negative feelings: “don’t whine”, “don’t cry over trifles”, “I have my own problems.” Another reason is the inability of parents to deal with their difficult feelings and the inability to tolerate such emotions in their children. Many parents find it difficult to be there when their child is capricious, angry, or upset. Growing up, such children continue to hide their sorrows, for example, behind generalizations. But when the essence of the complaint is hidden, it is unclear to those around us whether we need to help us and how to do it? Either borrow money for a ticket to Thailand, where it is warm and there are no traffic jams, or remain silent, or show sympathy. Such uncertainty causes a feeling of powerlessness and sometimes anger among loved ones.
We are looking for a compromise
If you recognize yourself as a complainer, think: “How am I feeling right now? Is it irritation, anger, anger? Is there an objective reason for this emotion? Which? Am I now looking at what is happening objectively and responsibly? Is there anything I can do to improve the situation? Try to look into the world of your experiences and understand how to improve your emotional state.
Possibility of self-knowledge
Sometimes the emotional background for the phrase “it’s good where we are not” is melancholy. Often the speaker himself does not understand where this intense experience came from, what was so valuable that he lost? According to Jungian analyst Marina Alekseeva, each of us has the experience of loss to one degree or another. “The best place from which we were all once expelled is the mother’s body, which nourished, protected and protected us,” explains the psychologist.
Mom will forever remain a symbol of security, peace, comfort and satisfaction of all needs without the need to act. Memories of this blissful childhood state are very similar to the description of the place we call heaven. For example, one of the most popular incarnations of the symbol heavenly life- a five-star all-inclusive hotel on a tropical island. In this case, the phrase “it’s good where we are not” is deciphered as “a place where everything is and nothing needs to be done.” But even the most desperate optimist suspects that this does not happen. “We are doomed to eternally search for this space outside, although we can find it in our own inner world“, continues Marina Alekseeva.
We are looking for a compromise
To cope with melancholy, you need to understand: what is missing? What is “there” and not “here”? In our psyche, “where we are not” is the unconscious, the zone of hidden potential. If you pay attention to this inner space and explore it, you can grow psychologically and recognize your true self. Carl Gustav Jung called this complex process individuation. To get started exciting journey to yourself, stop hiding your needs behind psychological cliches. Find out what personal meaning you put into this expression. What will be the most important thing if you get to where it’s good? Will you be safe? Will you be loved? Your answer is the zone of proximal development, look for the opportunity to implement all this in your life. Here and now.
TEXT: Rina Moiseeva
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It's good to be a wise person, then you don't have to learn from your mistakes. The main thing is to pay attention to what unpleasant situations those around you find yourself in, and draw appropriate conclusions. Let’s take the liberals and Russophobes who ran away from the “Rashka” to taste the air of freedom, but what do we see, these little bastards run back to Russia a year later, their democratic bones bulging out of horror. What does this tell us? About the fact that in reality, behind the cordon, not everything is as pleasant and sweet as in Hollywood films. Why am I saying all this? Yes, to the fact that our wise ancestors have long known this feature of man, and came up with their own proverb on this subject - " It's good where we are not", you can read the meaning a little lower. If you like our content, I recommend adding the resource site to your bookmarks so as not to miss useful information.
However, before I continue, let me recommend you a couple of other publications on the topic of phraseological units. For example, how to understand what is in the forehead, what is on the forehead; which means At least roll the ball; the meaning of the expression White Crow; what does it mean A lot of water has flown under the bridge, etc.
So let's continue meaning It's good where we are not proverb?
It's good where we are not- the proverb talks about the deceptive impression that arises due to the innate nature of a person to praise everything that he has not tried or where he has not been
It's good where we are not- people’s needs are almost endless, we are never satisfied with what we have
This catchphrase came from the work "Woe from Wit" by Griboyedov:
- - Persecution of Moscow. What does it mean to see the light!
- Where is better?
- - Where we are not.
- - They didn’t have a good time there?
- “It’s good where we are not,” answered the switchman.
Is it good where we are not? And the neighbor’s wife is prettier, and the strawberries in someone else’s garden are sweeter, and there is always more money in someone else’s pocket.
It is human nature not to value what one already has. Have you probably noticed that the next line at the checkout always moves faster? And life in distant lands is better, but unfortunately we are not there. Our fantasies help us strive for something unattainable, because the place that is " there"always filled with warmth and light, then, like" Here", eternal dampness and dirt. The property of the human psyche is such that it always idealizes remote, unfamiliar places ( cities and countries).
And when we actually see the place we dreamed and fantasized about, we find ourselves deeply disappointed. For example near Eiffel Tower There are crowds of Arabs who openly sell drugs. That's why to the white man It's not entirely safe to be there.
However, having arrived from Paris home, and having washed yourself from the excrement-saturated air of this most civilized city on the planet, you begin to dream again. You might want to visit Pindostan, where crowds of hungry blacks rush through the streets, snatching handbags from passers-by, and whites are mired in debt, and work from dawn to dusk, trying to make ends meet.
Everything in life is relative, and therefore you need to think ten times about leaving for permanent residence, in the blessed West, full of drugs, trafficking in human organs, Ukrainian prostitutes and slaves.
Do you dream of living near the ocean, in a place full of bliss and kind smiles? You may not be aware, but earthquakes, tsunamis, storms and floods occur there all the time. Therefore, you should not exclude the possibility that you will be crushed by a collapsed roof or carried away by huge waves into the open sea.
From everything described above, we can conclude that it is good not where we are not, but where we were, and perhaps we live now. The majority of our citizens have an awareness happiness comes at the moment of his loss. Essentially, it turns out that no matter where you live, there will always be " Fine", but you will find out only later. In fact, an ideal place simply does not exist; you always have to overcome some difficulties. Most people become hysterical and try to leave the country, only for the reason that they are losers. They probably think that " barking"in the West, their homeland, they will receive a barrel of jam and a box of cookies, but this is fundamentally wrong.
This means that when a person " Here“It’s bad, and he can’t find himself in this life, then he says this proverb, because in his opinion, “where he is not” is very, very good.
After reading this article, you learned meaning It's good where we are not proverb, and now you can always explain it to your friends and family.
Encyclopedic Dictionary winged words and expressions. - M.: “Locked-Press”. Vadim Serov. 2003.
See what “It’s good where we are not” in other dictionaries:
It's good where we are not. See ENVY GREED It's good where we are not. What’s enviable is what doesn’t exist. See YOUR OWN STUFF...
The original source of the comedy “Woe from Wit” (1824) by A. S. Griboedova (1795 1829): Sophia Gone to Moscow! What does it mean to see the light! Where is better? Chatsky Where we are not. Encyclopedic dictionary of popular words and expressions. M.: Locked Press. Vadim Serov. 2003 ... Dictionary of popular words and expressions
Wed. Persecution of Moscow! What does it mean to see the light! Where is better? (Sophia.) Where we are not! (Chatsky.) Griboyedov. Woe from the mind. 1, 7. Wed. Yes, wo du nicht bist, ist das Glück. Wed. Die Qual ist überall, wo wir auch hausen, Und wo wir nicht sind, ist das Glück! ...
It’s good where we are not. Wed. Persecution of Moscow! What does it mean to see the light! Where is it better? (Sophia.) Where are we not! (Chatsky.) Griboyedov. Woe from the mind. 1, 7. Wed. Yes, wo du nicht bist, ist das Glück. Wed. Die Qual ist überall, wo wir auch… … Michelson's Large Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary (original spelling)
M.Yu. Lermontov. Farewell. Wed. There is no fatherland for the heart. Trust me, happiness is only where they love us, where they believe us. M.Yu. Lermontov. Hadji Abrek. Leila. Wed. Don’t hold me back, let me go, give me my will. There again I can live, where I want, Without talent, where I have talent... Michelson's Large Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary
Ch., no. from glory nest, not eat; past vr. was not: will. vr. there won't be; not available, lacking, missing. I have no money. There is no snow in summer. God has no disfavor. Yes, the word is sweet as honey; no, the word is that wormwood is bitter! There is no trial. | ... Dictionary Dahl
WHERE, adv. 1. question. In what place? Where do you live? || In a rhetorical question about something that has disappeared, passed (book poet). Where is my youth? Where is his former confidence? || In a rhetorical question in meaning. in what? in what respect? “I’m very... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary
US, church us, plural, 1st person places. I, born and wine They built the light, and they didn’t ask us. It's not a holiday without us. It's good where we are not. If you didn’t listen to us, then cry at yourself. And you can’t sell us, you can’t buy us. Whatever the hop itself wears, that’s… … Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary
Saying, used compare often 1. When you say that somewhere is good, you mean that you like it there. It's nice to be outside in the spring! | Their home is very good. 2. When you say you feel good, you mean that you are happy, healthy,... ... Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary
It's good where we are not. What’s enviable is what doesn’t exist. See YOUR OWN STUFF... V.I. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people
Books
- , Natalya Kosukhina. Finding yourself in another world... Unknown, danger, fear... But Nadya was lucky - she found a wonderfully kind world. There is a magical Academy, amazing races and new difficulties. Risk is a noble cause...
- Another world. It’s good where we are not, Natalya Kosukhina. Finding yourself in another world... Unknown, danger, fear... But Nadya was lucky - she found a wonderfully kind world. There is a magical Academy here, amazing...
Everywhere is good, where we are not,
And I know for sure that somewhere,
Where you can't get a ticket
There is a wonderful place.
There is no malice or envy there,
The sea gently splashes there,
And you can walk without boots
And write on the fence with chalk.
There the sun is twice as round,
And the stars are brighter and closer.
There are wolves there, don't make the kitten angry,
They will happily lick your cheeks.
There are so many smiles that
You can pickle it in a tub.
There are neither strangers nor friends there,
And rust ate all the guns.
The people gathered there were simple,
But he also knows how to be smart.
Willingly accepts
Everyone except the green snake.
They sit in the evenings and sing,
They sew up their shirts,
But if friends are recognized,
They tear at my chest again.
There is a small house there,
And mom sets the table,
And it’s so good there
It couldn't get any better...
Everywhere is good, where we are not.
- Where? Please provide your address.
- You never know how many planets there are,
But here on Earth, don’t look.
Reviews
This is a Russian proverb, and it meant something else: that we carry our troubles with us. And my people have a proverb: kayda barkhanda, kholkon aldan baryp ultyryr - wherever you go, your character will sit there before you.
Well, if regarding the verse... Not only in the afterlife. There are many people in this world who see only what they want to see. And they feel good...
Of course, Rimma, having written the first line, I already understood that what would be discussed further had little to do with the proverb, but my fantasy dragged me into some kind of imaginary world, and so I swam in it with pleasure, relaxed...
"..people who see only what they want to see." - this phrase also has a dramatic connotation, but in our context it is a saving philosophy. I agree with E. Chepurnykh, who says that he only watches cartoons on TV and prefers to read (he said!) Pushkin’s fairy tales.
I never watch these shows where the ills of society and moral deformities are exposed. And someone savors these spectacles. I organized my space for myself and I feel harmony with it in my soul. I only see what I want to see. This is called Feng Shui. And my poem is from this space.
For this I bow and apologize for not answering right away. Peter.
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It's good where we are not
It's good where we are not
The original source is the comedy “Woe from Wit” (1824) by A. S. Griboedov (1795-1829):
Sophia Gone to Moscow! What does it mean to see the light! Where is better?
Chatsky Where we are not.
Encyclopedic dictionary of popular words and expressions. - M.: “Locked-Press”. Vadim Serov. 2003.
See what “It’s good where we are not” in other dictionaries:
It's good where we are not. See ENVY GREED It's good where we are not. What’s enviable is what doesn’t exist. See YOUR OWN STUFF...
Wed. Persecution of Moscow! What does it mean to see the light! Where is better? (Sophia.) Where we are not! (Chatsky.) Griboyedov. Woe from the mind. 1, 7. Wed. Yes, wo du nicht bist, ist das Glück. Wed. Die Qual ist überall, wo wir auch hausen, Und wo wir nicht sind, ist das Glück! ...
It’s good where we are not. Wed. Persecution of Moscow! What does it mean to see the light! Where is it better? (Sophia.) Where are we not! (Chatsky.) Griboyedov. Woe from the mind. 1, 7. Wed. Yes, wo du nicht bist, ist das Glück. Wed. Die Qual ist überall, wo wir auch… … Michelson's Large Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary (original spelling)
See: It's good where we are not. Encyclopedic dictionary of popular words and expressions. M.: Locked Press. Vadim Serov. 2003 ... Dictionary of popular words and expressions
Ch., no. from glory nest, not eat; past vr. was not: will. vr. there won't be; not available, lacking, missing. I have no money. There is no snow in summer. God has no disfavor. Yes, the word is sweet as honey; no, the word is that wormwood is bitter! There is no trial. | ... Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary
WHERE, adv. 1. question. In what place? Where do you live? || In a rhetorical question about something that has disappeared, passed (book poet). Where is my youth? Where is his former confidence? || In a rhetorical question in meaning. in what? in what respect? “I’m very... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary
US, church us, plural, 1st person places. I, born and wine They built the light, and they didn’t ask us. It's not a holiday without us. It's good where we are not. If you didn’t listen to us, then cry at yourself. And you can’t sell us, you can’t buy us. Whatever the hop itself wears, that’s… … Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary
Saying, used compare often 1. When you say that somewhere is good, you mean that you like it there. It's nice to be outside in the spring! | Their home is very good. 2. When you say you feel good, you mean that you are happy, healthy,... ... Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary
It's good where we are not. What’s enviable is what doesn’t exist. See YOUR OWN STUFF... V.I. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people
M.Yu. Lermontov. Farewell. Wed. There is no fatherland for the heart. Trust me, happiness is only where they love us, where they believe us. M.Yu. Lermontov. Hadji Abrek. Leila. Wed. Don’t hold me back, let me go, give me my will. There again I can live, where I want, Without talent, where I have talent... Michelson's Large Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary
Books
- Where we are not, Tatyana Vitalievna Ustinova. An old friend died by falling out of a window - the most ridiculous, stupid death! The relationship with his beloved wife eventually went wrong. It seems to Pavel Volkov that he cannot cope with the problems that have piled up, with...
- Where we are not, Ustinova T.V.. An old friend died, falling out of a window - the most ridiculous, stupid death! The relationship with his beloved wife completely went wrong. It seems to Pavel Volkov that he cannot cope with the problems that have piled up, with...