The attitude of a man towards a woman is different, but there are only two essences
A person’s relationships are the basis and manifestation of his life. And the relationship of a man to a woman is a big part of the life of a man and a woman in this relationship.
Man is individual and varied, and his relationships with people and things are individual and varied. BUT, we do not live in a world of originals and originality: both people and their lives have essential common properties.
For the simple reason for them that the world is one for people, and it is built on the principle of repetition and general principles of its existence.
Even if we begin to generalize reality purely in everyday concepts, abstracting from particulars, in search of an answer: What can a man’s attitude towards a woman be? - we will come to a simple answer.
Its essence fits into simple and succinct concepts known to any person: a man’s attitude towards a woman can be good, or it can be bad.
The reasons for a man’s good attitude towards a woman will also be obvious: if he loves her.
For it is love for a woman that presupposes that he cares about her, and sees value in her, and values her, and so on. In general, everything that we are accustomed to, and correctly, consider to be a good, loving relationship between a man and a woman.
But determining when and why a man treats a woman badly is not so easy. Moreover, not only from the outside - observing these relationships, but also to the participants in these relationships themselves - both men and women.
Because it often happens that a man thinks that he treats a woman well, but the relationship does not work out. Or, on the contrary: a woman, here and now, believes that a man treats her well, when in reality, it only seems to her - these are her illusions.
Criteria for a relationship between a man and a woman
However, ALWAYS, when analyzing a man’s attitude towards a woman, we can come to the conclusion that they are more bad than good, based on only one sign: whether he uses her to his advantage or not.
Although, one can immediately object: that any relationship, in its essence the interaction of two subjects, has in itself an element of the use of relationship partners.
BUT, it’s all about HOW and WHO uses the other in a relationship.
If the relationship between a man and a woman is normal - good, then they are equal - parity in using each other. That is, if a woman uses a man in her interests, then the man equally receives from her, approximately no less.
But if this balance of interests in a relationship is disturbed: a man or woman pursues more their own interests than the interests of their partner. Naturally, it will be bad for the partner in such a relationship.
Moreover, this “bad” can manifest itself immediately, in current relations, and in the future, when a woman or man not only feels their infringed interests, but also “sees it with their own eyes.”
Serious love relationship between a man and a woman, signs
If a man has serious intentions and a loving attitude towards a woman, then, obviously, he will or will not:
1. Do everything possible and “impossible” to maintain and maintain a GOOD relationship with this woman.
It’s quite easy for a woman to determine whether a man can do without her or whether he constantly strives to be with her, even in a conflict situation in a relationship. BUT, to be not “like a sucking leech,” but rather: as a loving, equal partner in a relationship.
2. A man’s serious, loving attitude towards a woman implies his desire to have the ENTIRE range of possible relationships with her: sexual, everyday, and spiritual.
That is, if a man strives only to have sex, or only to “talk,” or only to “eat and live.” These are clear signs that he is using a woman to solve his sexual, emotional, or everyday problems.
3. If a man, under all sorts of pretexts, constantly postpones the decision to formalize his relationship with a woman: to live with her in a civil, or better yet, official marriage.
If he is satisfied with the “come and go” option, then his attitude towards this woman is consumerist - he uses her, and does not love her.
The attitude is “serious”, but does not want children
4. A man’s relationship with a woman cannot be either serious or loving if he categorically does not want a child from her or constantly puts off this question.
Or insists on permanent birth control.
If a man really loves a woman, then he will wait for her pregnancy and will be incredibly happy about her.
5. If a man strives to be dependent on a woman and does not help her in solving financial, household and household issues, or in raising children, then he does not love her, but only uses her.
In other words, he does not perform the functions of the “head of the family”, a man, in a relationship with a woman - he does not want to be responsible for the woman, her children, for the family, if there is one.
This attitude of a man towards a woman is clearly and obviously user-based, not loving.
6. If you consistently avoid sex, while being quite suitable for engaging in it.
This means: this man wants to have a relationship with this woman, but only to solve his financial, household, or some other problems. About love, love relationships on the part of such a man, a woman may not even think about it.
Consumer attitude of a man to a woman. How can a woman understand that she is being used?
1. If a man is constantly, openly or covertly, preoccupied with some matters other than his relationship with a woman.
This suggests that this man’s attitude towards this woman is of a consumer nature. She stands among some of his problems and affairs, and does not occupy a central place in his life.
Like: I paid attention to you - I stayed with you - I used you, and now I need to do something else, more important.
It's relatively good if these other things are work or hobbies, but if another woman or ex-family, For example?
In general, be that as it may: if a man has “more important” things to do than a relationship with a woman, he uses her to his advantage. And the interests of a woman are of little concern to him.
2. The same thing: a man’s attitude towards a woman is consumerist, if he constantly thinks about something of his own that has little to do with this woman.
For example: he is always preoccupied with his thoughts, ideas, his condition, his health. Or relationships with other people, for example: with parents, with children and wives former marriages, with friends, and the like.
3. If for a woman he is constantly busy, sick, apathetic or depressed.
This is just one of the ways a man can get rid of a woman when he doesn’t need her—when he doesn’t need or want to use her.
Or: he uses a woman as a “mommy” - caring, patient, understanding and compassionate, BUT not as a beloved woman.
Used for sex and lovemaking
4. A man’s attitude towards a woman is consumerist, when he, even sexual relations with her, he sets it at his own discretion - as it is more convenient for him and he wants.
This applies to purely love and family sexual relationships.
This should signal to the woman that, firstly, the man is not in love with her - he does not experience sexual passion.
And secondly: he doesn’t really care about the sexual desires and needs of a woman, as such, or this woman, specifically.
5. The consumer attitude of a man towards a woman is unambiguous when a relationship with him exists only at the time of meeting him.
6. A man’s attitude towards a woman is consumerist if he uses this relationship to solve his problems with another woman. With his beloved, with his wife, with whom he is in conflict or in a problematic relationship, or divorced, separated.
Outwardly, this manifests itself as follows: he constantly starts talking about his relationships with women, in general or specific ones. Compares a woman with them, meets with them in parallel with this woman, and the like.
Consumerism in sex
7. Perhaps this is an insignificant fact for some women, but if a man cums quickly during sex with a woman - he tries to cum quickly, then such an attitude towards a woman is purely consumerist.
Or maybe it’s the other way around: a man still can’t come normally, despite the external signs of his sexual health.
All this suggests that he uses this woman, excuse me, as a machine for sex - for sexual release, and nothing more.
8. Obvious facts of a man’s consumer attitude towards a woman: the desire to use her finances and things. At the same time, without investing anything or at a minimum into a relationship with a woman.
It wasn't necessarily a gigolo or a ladies' man. But many women, in a fit of love and tired of the torments of loneliness, are not stopped by such obvious and arrogant use of it by a man.
9. A man uses a woman in his relationship with her when it turns out that he has deceived her or is deceiving her.
At the same time, it doesn’t matter: in what, with whom and how. Since he has something to hide, to deceive a woman about something, this only means one thing: he is using her or wants to use her for his own interests.
The use of a woman by a man: his “I” is above all
10. A man is a consumer in a relationship with a woman if he constantly “loads” her with his own “I”.
He tires her or, on the contrary, delights her, for the time being: with self-examination, his exclusivity, narcissism, self-knowledge, and other things, with all such “philosophy”.
He is only interested in himself, he needs a woman only as a tool for self-improvement and self-satisfaction.
11. A man’s attitude towards a woman “wants to be the best” if a woman, immediately or gradually, begins to be haunted by the idea and desire to break up with this man.
What people call it: this man is a suitcase without a handle - it’s hard to be with him, but it’s a pity to get rid of him.
12. A man is consumer-oriented in his relationship with a woman if he is dissatisfied almost constantly with everything.
Moreover, it does not matter what he is not happy with: whether it is this woman herself, certain circumstances, work, parents, and so on, and so on.
That is, he does not see the positive in life and relationships with her - the woman is only, excuse me, a sewer for draining his negativity. And in general: he is a loser in life.
Used when he promises a lot
13. A man, consciously or subconsciously, wants to get from a woman more than he himself can give her. When he constantly, persistently and a lot tells her about his feelings for her.
At the same time, as a rule, promising her “golden mountains and jelly rivers.” And sometimes, simply declaring: I love you, become mine!
Think about this phrase, which is repeated by millions of men: it is difficult to think of a more blatant, open claim that a man is using a woman.
Things, at least, are bought and used, but a woman, it turns out, can simply be loved and taken for use: Be mine!
For, he either wants to “get into her swimming trunks” or inspires himself and her that “everything will be fine with us,” knowing or suspecting that he does not have the reserves for this.
In any case, here, a man’s attitude towards a woman comes down to using her or to satisfy his sexual needs. Or to realize your life ambitions. Or both.
The question of how to understand that it’s time to let a man go is never asked in consultations. And this is more likely due to the fact that women are often afraid to see real picture relationships, they are afraid to understand that there is really nothing left to save and restore. And, as a result, they are afraid to change their lives.
In fact, fear in 90% of cases is main reason why people are unhappy. Of course, this applies not only to relationships between a man and a woman - it can be work, business, etc. But, no matter how scary it may be for us, sometimes (or rather, even very often) the “life lesson” of meeting this particular person is precisely to let him go in time. So, let’s work together to derive formulas for signs when it’s time to... let go.
A man wants you to change
And they didn’t just change, they changed to suit him.
A person should always strive for the best, for the ideal, for self-improvement. But we must do this according to the will of our own soul, according to our own at will, feeling. If a man begins to change you for himself, you actually lose yourself. A wise decision would be to let such a man go, while remaining yourself, and not to save the relationship and play someone else’s role all your life.
Words are just words. Every person is judged by his actions
Often I hear the phrases: “he says...”, “he said...”. I have a question for you - what did he do from what he said? Dear women, remember: a man is judged by his actions! Only this way, and no other way! Let him say whatever he wants, but if he did absolutely nothing from what he said, his words are worthless! Such a man is worthless. Get him out of your life, because he won’t bring anything good into it!
He said he wants to leave... Maybe I should try to get him back?
Girls, women, girls, remember: You cannot force a man to love you! And they shouldn't do this. Stop humiliating yourself, stop forcing him to love you. If a man loves, he will never allow you to doubt his feelings. Any person can come into your life and say “I love you,” but not everyone is ready to prove it in practice. And very few people are ready to carry this feeling throughout life. Moreover, if a man wants to leave, he will leave sooner or later, and no one and nothing will stop him - not you, not your children together, not a joint business, not a stamp in your passport.
Relationships are based only on physical intimacy
Many people may object here - they say, all relationships are built on this. And I agree - this is so... After all, a man on the first date will never sincerely admire your three educations and knowledge in the space industry - all this, of course, is important, but now inside he will have only one thought - whether he wants you or not, whether you are attracted its sexy or not.
However, now we are not talking about a first date - we are talking about a relationship that has already been going on for more than one month or even a year. And here I want to tell you: if after 3 months of meetings a man is no longer interested in anything other than the sexual sphere, then this will always be the case! And physical intimacy is the only thing that interests him in you in principle. If this is all you need, no question, of course. But if you expect the occurrence great love— I recommend that you take off your rose-colored glasses!
Trust is the basis of relationships
A full-fledged relationship is about trust between partners. If your trust is constantly betrayed, there can be no relationship. And there is no need to look for excuses: he couldn’t, it happened that way, oh well, etc. Don't be fooled! Run away from such a man!
A man underestimates you
Every person should know his own worth. And you should know it! You let a person into your life and gave him a piece of your soul, but he does not respect you, does not appreciate you, believes, as often happens, that “Who needs you besides me - I’m like that, and you...”, etc... Don't let yourself be humiliated, don't let yourself not be valued! Remove such a person from your life!
How about a heart-to-heart talk?
This postulate must be true in good relations. If you and a man don’t have a heart-to-heart talk, if you don’t share your thoughts and experiences, the relationship gradually fades away. Remember that a conflict in which true feelings are expressed can save a relationship, but silence, on the contrary, can destroy it. Therefore, if there is no “direct dialogue” between partners, such a relationship is not worth maintaining.
One-sided game: I am everything for him, and he is nothing for me
If a man does nothing for you, and you endlessly sacrifice your happiness, why maintain such a relationship? If you allow him to take more from you than he gives, the harmonious balance in the relationship is rapidly disrupted. Relationships are work. Moreover, it is a joint work of two people. Therefore, it is better to remain alone, but at the same time maintain pride, balance and energy, than to remain in a relationship that requires constant sacrifice from you!
Analyze your relationship with a man, look at it soberly, know your worth, respect yourself, and then you can calmly move forward! Don’t waste your time on stupid relationships, and most importantly, believe that one day the puzzle of your life will fit into one picture, and it will be filled with happiness!
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Hello dear! Yaroslav Samoilov is in touch - your tireless assistant in solving problems in your personal life.
I would like to touch on a topic that has long become a sore point for many girls: “How can I understand that a man is playing with my feelings?”
In most cases, the signs that a man does not want a relationship lie on the surface. You just have to learn to recognize these signals.
Signs of a frivolous relationship
1. He doesn't call you when he's late.
It is clear that life is a fickle thing and events may not develop at all as planned. A man can really get worked up, lose track of time and forget to warn about the delay.
Note that I'm not saying that the first similar case is a cause for concern.
But if similar situations have happened more than once or even twice, it’s worth thinking about.
This also applies to being late for dates. Surely it was possible to warn? You wouldn’t rush, but try on another dress, spend more time on makeup, or watch an episode of your favorite TV series.
Instead, you’ve been stuck in the appointed place for an hour, trying to call for the tenth time, and in response you only hear “the subscriber is temporarily unavailable.”
Remember! If a man is interested in continuing the relationship, he will not forget to call, no matter what happens (I hope you don’t believe in the “phone is dead”).
2. He has rules about how often you see each other.
It's one thing to have a tradition of going bowling with friends on Thursdays or something like that. But if your meetings take place on a similar schedule, be wary.
In his free time from you, a man either actively looks for another option for a relationship, or tries to maintain his usual lifestyle, not burdened with unnecessary obligations.
The third option is . For his wife, a man just goes bowling with friends, but in reality he goes to his mistress, whose role you play, without knowing it.
3. He knows more about you than you know about him.
You may have noticed that during meetings you do most of the talking. And when you try to find out something about a man, he evades the answer.
Either he’s hiding it, or he doesn’t want to let him get too close.
Of course, many representatives of the stronger sex are silent. But you should know about such things as place of work, city of birth, who your parents are.
Changing the topic or persistent silence indicates that you are being kept at a distance.
4. You know more about him than he does about you.
This situation is exactly the opposite of the previous one: the man is so busy talking about himself that he does not show any interest in your personality.
- He doesn't try to find out what kind of music you listen to.
- He doesn't care what your plans are.
- He doesn't care where you're from or what school you went to.
But the man himself talks non-stop about his beloved self.
5. He doesn't tell anyone about you (no one knows that you are his girlfriend)
If he doesn't introduce you to friends or take you to parties, this could also be a sign.
It is clear that you are unlikely to want to meet with his friends often, but at least they should definitely know about your existence.
The way he treats you when you are out in public can also make it clear that the guy is playing on feelings. In private, he adores you and promises that you will be together forever. And in front of other people, you are just friends.
Well, where is this good?
The same goes for meeting with parents. It is clear that this is a much more serious step than meeting friends. But if you have been dating for quite some time, and the man is still looking for reasons to delay meeting his family, then he still has doubts about the relationship.
Yes, there is a chance that everything is just the opposite - the man is not ashamed of you, but of his friends/parents. But even in this case, acquaintance must take place sooner or later.
6. He doesn't spend the holidays with you.
Definitely, when a man is divorced and has children, he will spend all the holidays with them. But even in this case, he can make time for you - after family meetings.
If similar good reasons he doesn’t have one and he’s just spending holidays or even a vacation in an unknown place and with someone unknown, which means you are not among his priorities.
7. He has a lot of girlfriends, and he doesn’t hide it.
True friendship (in the literal sense of the word) between a man and a woman happens very rarely. In most cases, it is based on feelings (he secretly loves/wants her or vice versa).
And now, when a man has started a relationship with you, he still continues to spend a lot of time with his girlfriends. Perhaps even more often than with male friends.
There are exceptions. But statistics say that such people are not at all what he imagines them to be.
Your man is playing cat and mouse with you and perhaps a few others as gullible as you.
8. He doesn't tell you what he's doing, where he's going, or when he'll be back.
Some women and men with manic-paranoid obsession try to control their significant other. And this, of course, is unpleasant.
But if you respect a man’s personal space and time and do not follow his every move, he himself should at least sometimes report on his affairs and plans.
This is something without which there can be no healthy relationship.
9. He never talks about big plans.
Living according to the “here and now” principle is not a bad thing at all.
But ultimately in any serious relationship a discussion of joint plans appears. Otherwise, you will never be able to understand whether it is worth continuing a relationship with a man.
Perhaps your paths cannot go in one direction - you want a family, children and a home, but he wants to live a life of pleasure and travel the world.
10. He makes it clear that he had a life without you and it didn’t go away when you showed up.
When you just start dating, it’s always interesting to learn about his adventures in a past life - about travel, funny incidents with friends...
But if you're dating and things are serious, and the man keeps talking about solo adventures, or - even worse - plans for them, then this is a clear sign that he still wants to be single.
11. You're trying to change, but he's not.
In any relationship there is a mismatch of characters, interests, and values.
But if everything is serious with partners, then they must be ready to make concessions and try to change the aspects in themselves that interfere with the relationship.
If you are constantly trying to meet him halfway, but do not see similar actions on his part, you are not on the right path.
If he's really playing with you...
Leave right now, only to step on the same rake again after a while?
Or try to understand why you attract frivolous men?
If this isn't the first time this has happened, it's time to get to the root of the problem, break the cycle of failure, and attract true love.
You deserve it!
With faith in your success,
Yaroslav Samoilov.
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