The severance of marital relations is considered to be a last resort, after which the former family relationships almost impossible. However, statistics indicate a different state of affairs - after the divorce, every fourth man wants to return to his family and almost always succeeds. So is it worth taking such a serious step, which will take away both precious health and time, or is it better to agree on reconciliation with your soulmate without divorce proceedings? It is this question, and in a calm atmosphere, that all spouses who decide to dissolve their marriage should discuss among themselves, especially if they have children.
Why men might leave their families
Are the statistics correct and do husbands return to their families after divorce? It is these questions that we will try to analyze further in the article.
According to psychologists, every man, having been married for only a couple of years, begins to be burdened by barracks ties. This condition may be caused by the following reasons:
- inability to fulfill family responsibilities;
- reluctance to lead an ordinary, practically unchanged family life;
- the desire to find passion and a lot of adventure outside the family.
Not only young people married couples can expect such a test, quite often middle-aged men who have lived with their spouse for more than ten years begin to think about leaving the family.
In adulthood, men decide to leave the family for the following reasons:
- due to misunderstanding of the spouse and children;
- because of, in their opinion, years spent in vain in a family that is not able to accept their father at the proper level;
- due to the fact that the wife has changed, and not for the better.
Most often, in adulthood, men quickly decide to divorce and no arguments from their spouse can change the decision. But if the marriage is married, which often occurs among deeply religious couples, then the above reasons will not be factors on the basis of which a believer can dissolve the marriage. After all, a married marriage is allowed to be dissolved according to church laws only if the spouse is caught in treason.
Studies conducted by psychologists prove that a man experiences the dissolution of a marital relationship much easier. The same cannot be said about women, because almost every second representative of the fair sex is in severe depression. Moreover, if a woman understands that the marriage broke up because of her mistresses, which most often happens, many decide to commit suicide, and only timely contact with a specialist keeps offended wives from committing such a rash act. After all, if you analyze the cases of a spouse leaving for his mistresses, it will become clear that husbands almost always return to their former family, and after only a couple of months, because they understand that, one might say, they have gone nowhere. How can this be explained, many readers may ask. A simple understanding of reality, because almost always the new life that a man has drawn for himself turns out to be not so colorful, bright and rich in reality. This, of course, is what disappoints expectations that have been built for a long time.
Should we expect our ex-spouse to return to his family?
Many wives who have gone through a divorce never stop waiting for their ex-lover, and would like to know whether spouses often return to the family after the dissolution of the marriage. According to divorce statistics, the former spouse begins to make the first attempts to return to the family literally 5-6 months after the break in the marriage. Even those men who have already managed to create new family, most often they leave it because they do not want to relive the difficult stage of creating new family relationships. After all, everyone understands that in the previous family this stage has long been successfully settled, and the habits of the ex-wife have been studied almost thoroughly.
When a man is left alone, he begins to understand how much he loved and continues to love his ex-wife and his children, because it is not for nothing that there is a proverb among the people - “what we have today, we do not keep, but when we experience loss, we cry.”
Today, divorce is nothing new. People disperse all the time. The reasons for this are varied - from everyday problems before betrayal.
What happens after is a purely individual matter. Having received the status of “ex”, some women fall into despair, others quickly recover, find a new companion, others remain lonely, continuing to support good relationship with your ex and hope he comes back.
At the very moment of separation, the wife is confident that she will never take her husband back again. But after a while, emotions calm down, regret comes, and with it the question creeps in: do husbands return to marriage after a divorce? ex-wives?
The answer is yes, and life partners return in more than 50% of cases. But how expedient this is still needs to be clarified.
Naive psychology of adult men
Men who decide to get a divorce believe that they will cope just fine without their significant other. But, judging by statistics, the number of people who left for a good reason and built a relationship with a new passion is very small. The overwhelming majority want to prove something to someone by their actions - their spouse, mother, friends, themselves.
Ex-husbands go through three main stages after divorce:
- At the first stage, the chosen one considers himself a male, he is full of confidence and independence. He awakens to the desire to conquer the highest peaks, to conquer the most beautiful girls. Now he doesn’t regret one bit that he broke with his past life.
- The second stage is calming. The uncontrollable desire for sexual pleasures with beautiful ladies disappears, I want to be alone, to relax.
- The third stage is rethinking and awareness of what happened. There is regret about breaking up with your beloved, and a desire to establish relationships again. At the same time, the person understands that the period of youth and fullness of strength is behind. He walked around, felt what it was like to be unmarried again and... missed him. According to statistics, it is at the third stage that the ex-husband returns to the family. Or strives to return. Everything will depend on how acute the conflict was, and whether the spouse can forgive and accept back.
When do exes come back?
When the faithful will be pulled back depends on what kind of conflict there was. For example, if the breakup occurred because of a mistress, then expect the first calls within six months. Of course, it is impossible to accurately predict. But if we take a typical situation - getting used to each other with a new person, identifying shortcomings, making comparisons - then perhaps your chosen one will run away even earlier.
If the reason for the separation is the insolvency of the head of the family, then it will take him less time to return. Men tolerate their defeats very poorly and when they realize that they are not able to support their family, they sometimes disappear without thinking about the consequences. It will take time to reflect and realize the mistake. How much depends on the individual.
Also, the husband may return out of pity for his wife. Let's say he is a good person and, having divorced his wife, continues to visit her and provide moral support. It is not easy for such a person to see the suffering and torment of a loved one; he strives to help somehow. It seems to him that the only consolation for his ex here will only be a return. That is, sacrificing oneself. Then he will say with a clear conscience: “I did everything I could,” without thinking that he is turning life together into flour.
The fastest to return are those who hid behind the reason - to breathe a breath of freedom. Even statistics show that such individuals always run back. The period of “living for yourself” quickly turns into a test - a man gets acquainted with everyday trifles. He cooks for himself, irons, cleans, does laundry, but, as a rule, he is not good at creating home comfort. Realizing that the idea was ridiculous, the companion asks his wife for forgiveness. But here the passion needs to think carefully. The spouse can run like this endlessly.
Why are they coming back?
Are returning ex-husbands after divorce for the following reasons:
- The bad recedes into the background. There comes a period when grievances are dulled, the soul is freed from negative feelings towards the ex, forgiveness comes.
- Spouses rethink the mistakes they made in marriage, analyze the situation, and reevaluate the motives and consequences of the breakup.
- Love that, even after parting, does not give rest.
- Children. When common concerns related to the well-being of the child bring them together, the spouses may decide that the time has come new stage in relationships. However, this is a misconception. After all, the knot of conflict that served to break it remained untied.
- Old connections are severed, and new ones are not born. It happens that the husband after separation long time can't start new novel. And no matter how strange it may seem, the wife becomes an outlet here both sexually and morally.
- Comparing the new one with the old one. A divorced partner may be too demanding when he leaves for someone else. He will also constantly compare his passions, which will make his mistress a loser.
It also happens that relationships are restored due to several of the listed reasons. But at the same time, the desire to renew ties must be mutual. If only one side wants this, then it is clear that it will be difficult to establish contact.
According to statistics, most cases when a husband wants to return back after a divorce occur on the initiative of the men themselves.
The perpetrators of the breakup can earn forgiveness in half the cases, but on condition that they are able to convince their passion that they have changed and realized their guilt. Men are luckier in terms of receiving forgiveness - wives forgive their spouses much more often than they forgive themselves. Especially when it comes to cheating.
Men's pride is much more sensitive, and problem solving is more categorical than that of women. Therefore, if the culprit of the conflict is the spouse, there is less chance of the partner returning.
But the possibility cannot be ruled out. A lady needs to find wisdom within herself and use different tactics to get what she wants. Without losing your dignity.
By the way, the most inappropriate attempt to return marriage is one that humiliates women's dignity. For example, a woman suffered from the betrayal of her beloved, but, seeing that he is not doing anything to earn forgiveness, she initiates the return of her husband herself. Moreover, he chooses not the most worthy methods. This not only reduces the chances of restoring the marriage, but also greatly undermines the reputation of a beautiful person. And the reason for this behavior is low self-esteem and self-doubt. In such situations, former companions, if they return to their wives, do not do so for long.
Does a woman need her ex back?
If, after a breakup, you granted forgiveness to your partner and decided to take him back, take a break and honestly answer these questions:
- Do you have a guarantee that your companion has changed and will not repeat past mistakes? If so, which one? You must understand that the probability is in equal proportions - 50/50. Therefore, prepare yourself not only for honeymoon, but also to not very pleasant surprises.
- Why do you need this relationship? If you are one hundred percent sure that your husband is your soulmate and you can’t live without him, then it’s your business. But if in doubt, don't rush. Perhaps divorce is a chance for new life? Perhaps your spouse never appreciated your feelings and care for him? And if he was an avid reveler or an alcoholic, wouldn’t he return to his old life after a while?
- What is the purpose of renewing the relationship? Maybe you have blurred priorities or a fear of being alone? And he, for example, sees you as a housekeeper and nothing more. Here even fortune telling is unnecessary - you will part at the same point as last time.
- Does the end justify the means? Perhaps you decided to get back together not because you love and want to be together, but for the sake of the children, for example. You, as a good mother, have set the goal of raising them in a full-fledged family, no matter what. But, unfortunately, the following can happen - you will become psychologically dead, your feelings will atrophy. You will persuade yourself to stay, to endure a little longer, but deep down you know that you are deceiving yourself. The only excuse for torment will be the thought that you are suffering for the sake of a “high” goal - for the sake of the children. This behavior is fundamentally wrong. As a result, you will not live your life, and as you know, it tends to “pass by” quickly.
How to understand that his intention is sincere?
The woman became convinced that her husband or young man bewitched. What can she do in this case? Either leave everything as it is and lose your family, your man, or fight for your happiness. Of course, if she loves her husband, it is advisable remove love spell, because he has a lot side effects" A man changes under the influence of a love spell, and not for the better.
What consequences can a love spell have?
A man bewitched by his mistress, becomes different. These changes can be scary, but they are part of the love spell ritual.
- His character changes: he is hot-tempered, unrestrained, his selfishness and dictatorial tendencies appear.
- He is addicted to alcohol or develops other bad habits.
- Problems begin in intimate life.
- Expect a series of failures in life, problems at work or in business.
- A person will live much less than he could, his life is shortened.
- The gaze of the bewitched is empty, there is no meaning in it, and this person seems strange to those around him.
- He will be absent-minded.
- Heart pain and other health problems will appear.
Considered especially strong love spell on blood. After it has been done, red spots may appear on the man's face. They will disappear when the magician removes the love spell. If you turn to a magician for help, he will remove the love spell, and with it his negative impact. You will do a good deed, first of all, for your man, and not just for yourself.
Will the husband return to the family?
But when going to a magician, many women think about themselves or their children. For them, the main thing is to return a breadwinner, a loving father or husband to the family. Is this possible, will a man’s feelings return after the witchcraft spell is removed from him? Interesting question. Here, a lot depends on what exactly he felt before he was bewitched by another woman. If you want guarantees, you will have to not only remove the love spell from your rival, but also bewitch him to you.
A man will definitely return to his wife if he did not love the woman who bewitched him. Perhaps he had feelings for his wife, but someone interfered with their harmonious relationship and pulled him over, using, for example, a love spell on menstruation.
I work with clients for many years, hundreds of people passed before my eyes. Every family has its own story. But, based on my experience, I can already draw some conclusions. Most often, a love spell on a man is ordered not just by outside women in love, but by the man’s mistresses. This means that he started dating her even before she used the love spell. Perhaps they had feelings for each other.
Why did the mistress decide to take extreme measures? Maybe he didn’t want to leave his family, but for her it was important. Or passion, love attraction began to cool, and the woman was afraid of losing her loved one. Therefore, it is important to understand that the problem did not appear out of the blue. Your relationship with your husband was already far from ideal, since he decided to find a woman on the side.
And, you see, it’s much easier for a mistress to drink a love potion, and not for a stranger. He will not drink wine or water from the hands of a stranger. Therefore, something was already wrong in your relationship, and your mistress only added fuel to the fire. But this rule, of course, also has its exceptions. Sometimes online love spell There are also good family men who are simply unlucky.
Why should you turn to a magician?
A professional magician guarantees that after completing the ritual, your husband’s feelings for his mistress will cool down (if she cast a love spell on him). You will be able to return your husband to the family, provided that your relationship until recently was warm, he had feelings for you and not for another woman. Another important point. With your problem, you need to go to the magician immediately, while there is still an energetic connection between you and the man, he has not yet forgotten his family.
Nowadays it is not difficult to find many books and websites that provide descriptions of rituals that you can perform yourself. I do not recommend practicing magic at home. IN best case scenario you will save your husband from love attraction, but will not remove all the consequences of the love spell. This means that your man will be sick, his psyche will be upset, etc. In the worst case, you will take upon yourself the reversal of the love spell, i.e. you will feel it yourself negative consequences. An experienced magician knows how to work with such energies. But a simple person can...
An experienced magician knows how to work with such energies. And a simple person can distort both his life and the lives of loved ones.
Not all married couples manage to maintain warm family relationships into old age. Over the past few years, the number of divorces has increased several times, which means that spouses are not ready to listen to each other and compromise. It may seem strange, but more and more often men are the ones initiating divorces. What if you still love your husband and don’t want him to leave the family? We will tell you how to get your husband back after divorce. However, first we will understand the psychological aspect of such a woman’s desire.
Before attempting to return your husband to the family, think carefully about the current situation. Do you really want him back? Source: Flickr (Hannah_Martin)
Why do you want to return your ex-husband to the family?
After a divorce, a woman feels broken, defeated, betrayed, abandoned and humiliated. In most cases, all this happens because she is used to her husband and changes in life frighten her. Some women sincerely love their husbands, so parting with a loved one seems to them an unbearable torment. How do psychologists interpret this behavior? IN in this case Women are driven by two feelings: love or fear. It’s one thing when the ex-wife is afraid of financial difficulties, judgment of others, and loneliness. In this case, she is driven only by fear. If she considers her ex-husband to be a standard, his presence brings her into a state of euphoria, she does not hold a grudge against him and is ready to forgive even betrayal - then she is driven by a bright feeling called love.
Is it worth getting your husband back after a divorce?
Many psychotherapists believe that returning a husband who left the family is a bad idea. In psychology there is such a thing as “rejection”. It means that over a certain period of time a person subconsciously develops a special aversion to certain phenomena or a specific person. Not all men, but many men, have an ex-wife who falls into this category. What does this mean? Any attempts to remind him of himself and return his husband to the family will push him away even more and cause hostility.
Before attempting to return your husband to the family, think carefully about the current situation. Do you really want him back? Perhaps it's worth starting a new life?
Do husbands return after divorce?
Thanks to numerous psychological studies, it has been possible to establish that most men regret divorce.
This is interesting! According to statistics, 55% of men want to return to their former family after a divorce in 3-6 months, and 75% of the stronger sex are ready to resume relationships with their ex-wife in 1-2 years. The most interesting thing is that women, as a rule, no longer want to restore their family.
Such interesting information they say that a man enjoys freedom only at first, and then regrets what he has done. The same cannot be said about women. The peak of emotional turmoil occurs in the first few months after separation from your spouse, and then comes the realization that not everything is so bad.
Perhaps you shouldn’t try to immediately get your husband back after a divorce? Wait a few months for things to calm down and emotional coloring events will not be so bright.
If you have no doubt that it is worth fighting for your ex-husband, then the recommendations of a psychologist will make this task a little easier.
Attempts to return your spouse to the family can only be successful if you are truly ready to change for his sake. Otherwise you will fail. So, how to return your ex-husband to your family after a divorce?
Work on your mistakes
Analyze your behavior and think about why your spouse left you. How did you behave somewhat recent years? They grumbled all the time, looked for a reason to quarrel, were not interested in their husband’s hobbies, devoted too little time to him and were passive in intimate terms? Or, on the contrary, did they care too much, take the position of “mother” and read lectures? Review your behavior to change the situation. This will not only help you with your ex-spouse, but it will also be useful for your relationship with another man.
If the husband’s feelings have not yet completely sunk into oblivion, then the chance of his return is very high. Source: Flickr (heidi)
Boost your self-esteem
This statement may seem absurd to some, but only one thought arises in my head: “What self-esteem if I suffer so much and think about him every minute? They give up and nothing makes them happy. I can’t even imagine life without him!” That’s right, these are exactly the feelings a woman experiences when her husband leaves her. Who said it would be easy? It is at such a moment that you need to pull yourself together, gather your will into a fist and say to yourself: “I strong woman! I will succeed, and I will definitely be happy.” Repeat to yourself often that you are beautiful and successful woman, and also interesting personality. To do this, take care of yourself: go to the gym, spend time with friends (preferably male ones too), sign up for cooking classes, get a driver's license, and so on. Leading experts in the field of psychology claim that it is self-confidence that allows a woman to become happy and attract love, success and prosperity into her life.
Don't discuss your ex-spouse
You have to forgive him if you really want to see him around again. There is no point in trying to rekindle a relationship if in your heart you quietly hate him for the things he did in the past. Don't talk badly about him to your family, friends or colleagues, and especially to your children. Don’t blame him for anything, because these accusations will sooner or later reach his ears, and he will not be delighted with such “praises” in his direction. Rise above it all!
Have a friendly conversation with your spouse
Important! Under no circumstances should you humiliate yourself, cry, begging him to come back. This will only infuriate the man and convince him that he did everything right. You cannot put pressure on pity, otherwise the situation will reach a dead end.
You can call him after a while and ask him in a friendly way for help: for example, fixing a faucet or hanging a shelf, babysitting the children when you go to school, discussing issues related to children, and so on. In such a situation, the man will understand that you need him and will definitely respond to such requests (if he is still interested in you). When he plans to come, you don’t need to put a ton of makeup on your face and put on a peignoir. It will look funny. It is enough to do light daytime makeup and wear beautiful, but unpretentious clothes. Hint to him that you have a boyfriend (even if this is not the case), but you are not yet ready to take a serious step with another person.
Do not interfere with father's communication with children
Children should not suffer and feel neglected because mom and dad couldn’t find common language. Unobtrusively tell your spouse that the children miss you and want to spend more time with him. You can go on walks with your children. This way you will remember the happy moments of your life together.
Take care of yourself
A tortured woman with black eyes cannot bring a man back into her life. Maybe you have long wanted to change your hairstyle, recolor your hair, but never got around to it. It's time to change your image. Even if you don’t feel like taking care of yourself after a divorce, force yourself to do so. Being beautiful and attractive is a woman’s duty.
If the husband’s feelings have not yet completely sunk into oblivion, then the chance of his return is very high.
How to return your ex-husband to the family after a divorce if he lives with someone else
The reason for divorce is very often another woman. At turning points family life, when a man is bored with everyday life, or is deprived of attention, a new “ray of light” appears in his “ dark kingdom" Of course, it’s hard for any woman to realize that her man has chosen another woman and wants to share his life with her. Sometimes such resentment develops into hatred, but in some cases wives are desperate to return their spouse to the family.
Is it possible to get my husband back after a divorce if he lives with someone else? Nothing is impossible in the world, so there is always a chance for success. What to do in this case?
The above methods will work fine in this situation, but there are several important points that need to be taken into account:
- Don't tell your ex-husband about another woman
There is no need to be sarcastic or demonstratively inform him that you know about all his “adventures.” Maintain total calm. This is how you show your ex-husband that you respect his choice, and therefore him.
- Continue to communicate with him if he agrees
You can ask for help - take part in the educational process or do men's housework.
- Let him go
You continue your life path without him. Some women, after divorce, find their true calling in life, develop personally and meet new love. Divorce is not a reason to dwell on the past, but a chance to take a step forward.
Video on the topic
A woman who has become an ex-wife should not think that divorce has forever put an end to the previous relationship. At first, many people think so. But over time, when past grievances go away, and life provides the opportunity to compare and evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of a broken marriage, many things are assessed differently. Some from the first day, others over time begin to think: how to get your husband back after a divorce?
If it seems that a difficult period in life - divorce and overcoming its consequences - has already passed, then you are wrong. When the thought “I want to return to my previous relationship” comes to mind, difficult times lie ahead. Restoring a marriage after a divorce is an experience and hard work, because you will have to restore the broken ties.
This period is difficult not only for women, but also for men. If your husband wants to come back after a divorce and restore the past, he will have to work just as hard as you. Be generous: help your husband with this! Keep in mind that the time has come when you must take the initiative, act with restraint and think about how to get your husband back after divorce.
Steps towards each other
- If a little time has passed since the divorce, the emotional state leaves much to be desired. And sometimes even after a year it is not possible to cope with the resentment and negative emotions associated with the divorce. Remember, in a state of resentment and irritation it is impossible to make the right decisions and return your husband. The calmer the woman, the greater the chances of returning the marriage. Balanced psychological state is an advantage. In this case, the husband receives another argument in favor of returning to the family. Try to forget about complaints against your husband, close your eyes to annoying shortcomings, focus on good qualities. After all, having weighed all the pros and cons, you have already decided to return the marriage.
- After divorce old feelings there is no trace of them, and it is difficult to return them. But you and your husband have a lot in common, including a past that contains a lot of good things. Memories of old times can be the first joint steps towards restoring feelings. Old photographs of your former life and children, videos of holidays and travel will be of help at this moment. Pay attention to yourself. Appearance, manner of communication, positive mood- everything should return you to the same person you were at the beginning of the relationship. Despite the years you have passed and the divorce you have experienced, your husband should see in you the one who once conquered him. The main thing is not to overdo it! Imposition and pressure will not help you get your husband back. You should not initiate meetings with your ex-husband. Going through a divorce requires comprehension, time to think, evaluate what is happening and say to yourself: “I want everything back!”
- Building a relationship with your husband requires significant effort. Be active and don't rely on chance. A woman is more emotional, and this advantage should be taken advantage of. Remember your first dates and how easily you managed to get your guy back, just by alternating affection and coldness. This good way bring back feelings.
Reason for divorce and chance of return
Whether husbands return after divorce largely depends on the reasons why they leave. Statistics show that every third divorced man wants to return to his former family, and 20% of them return to their wives. Usually this follows an awareness of the reasons for the breakup, a rethinking of priorities, and a reassessment of values.
- The most common reason for a breakup is the husband leaving for someone else with whom he supported love affair, living with a family. By dramatically changing his life, he deprives himself of many things: his usual way of life, the care of his wife, who has become familiar, family authority, including among children. Only the loss of a marriage brings awareness of the significance of these intangible factors. In this case, the husband returns after the divorce, and the decision to restore the marriage depends only on the ex-wife.
- It happens that a husband shows his inadequacy and this becomes the reason for leaving the family. Troubles at work and an unsuccessful career, inability to earn money and, as a result, depression and alcohol abuse lead to the idea of starting to live with clean slate. The new relationship, according to the ex-husband, will help strengthen his life. Often these hopes are not justified. A new partner rarely agrees to endure difficulties, endure failures and solve financial problems together. Experience shows that you will not find the same support as your previous wife from your new partner. And the most important thing in life is my wife and children. The husband returns after a divorce, but occupies a completely different position in the family and must constantly prove his worth to his wife.
- There are many cases when a woman leaves her husband on her own. various reasons, being the initiator of the divorce. And then, after weighing all the pros and cons, he still decides to choose his former husband.
It's interesting that men don't go through a breakup easily. This is evidenced by the fact that 30% of clients of practicing psychologists are divorced husbands who have sought help. Various sexual disorders, depression, and decreased interest in life appear. These symptoms peak in the middle of the second year after divorce, which is why psychologists have defined this problem as “seventeenth month syndrome.”
Consequences of leaving family
And the main reason for this is the disappointment experienced. As a rule, ideas about “freedom”, hopes of meeting a special woman who will change your life and be able to return bright feelings and extraordinary sexual sensations to it, are not justified, or are partially justified. The man does not receive the care and attention that was in his previous marriage. After euphoria comes disappointment when the new partner turns out to be worse in everyday life than his wife, and the “holiday” ends. There is a desire to compare your previous marriage with a new relationship, and you remember bright and joyful moments before the divorce. Gradually, a calm and more sober assessment of the past and a desire to return everything appear. There is a rethinking of the values that were lost, disappointment in the newly created connections, and regret about the divorce.
Often a disappointed man leaves new woman and leads a bachelor life, lives without the burden of responsibility, freely and carefree. But it quickly becomes clear that there is little good in this. It is not easy for a man accustomed to a caring wife and comfort to live outside of marriage. There is a craving for excessive drinking and entertainment. If a woman is nearby, she suppresses the excessive desire for bad habits. In a couple, it is the woman who bears the burden of organizing, trying to return male energy in the socially correct direction, suppressing destructive impulses. Family ties are a stabilizing factor for many men.
Part of being a bachelor is an intense sex life. Numerous partners require much greater energy expenditure than a calm married life. After a divorce, a man spends his resources as much as possible: both psychologically and physiologically. While receiving new sensations, he loses strength and efficiency. For many people, a tense intimate life after divorce is possible only for a short period. Then comes a decrease in sexual activity.
Gradually, an understanding of the importance of such a family function as psychotherapeutic comes. Neither new wife, neither a beautiful lover nor a casual partner are ready to take on the role of advisor and friend. Years lived together, shared sorrow and joy, achievements and defeats create a special bond between spouses. A man realizes that only his wife can be consulted in difficult life moments; psychological support came from her, and the family served as a reliable rear and protection from external adversities. It is no coincidence that psychologists say that two-thirds of divorced people believe ex-wife more worthy than their current partner and regret the divorce. The combination of these factors leads to the idea of returning to the previous relationship.
Maintaining a calm relationship after divorce is beneficial for both ex-spouses. And often they help restore family ties. How to get your husband back after divorce and restore your relationship?
- Clearly and clearly define the reasons for the divorce. Realize what led to the collapse of your marriage and divorce. You need to look for reasons in your own mistakes. You will have to decide whether it is possible to change something in yourself, accept, forgive and return your “ex,” and agree with your shortcomings. Try to soberly assess whether you are able to withstand your husband’s character traits, because it is unlikely that he can be radically changed. The same applies to your preferences: what are you willing to give up to please your ex-husband. Be realistic in your thoughts and dreams. You shouldn’t expect him to become an angel when he returns after a divorce. You need to clearly decide what type of relationship suits you.
- Don't be intrusive. The ex-husband must decide to return on his own. But not without your efforts. You can create conditions and circumstances that will push your husband to the right decision, and will help him get it back. In this you need to seek support from your mutual acquaintances and friends. Through them, you can find out how your ex-husband’s life is going after the divorce, whether he is happy with his situation, whether he regrets the breakup, or whether he expresses a desire to return. If the information received gives hope, you can begin to take active action. Don't count on quick results. Most likely, it will take patience and endurance for your husband to return after a divorce.
- The first task is to convey information about yourself to your ex-husband. This can be done through mutual friends, expressing your thoughts about divorce and the desire to return the marriage.
What should he know?
- you remember the mistakes of your ex-husband, but you also realized your mistakes, so you understand the reasons for the divorce;
- after the experience, you look at marriage with different eyes, you know how to resolve conflict, find a compromise and return peace to the family;
- you think that the fault lies with both, and if desired, everything can be returned;
- you regret the loss of your marriage and your children feel left out;
- you have experienced the pain of separation and divorce, have improved your life, but you realize that loneliness does not make you happy, and children are growing up in defective family, and hope that everything can be returned.
Such information will certainly push the ex-husband to take steps to return home. When you meet, try to mention the difficulties in your life, in raising a child after a divorce. The ex-husband must realize that you and the children need care and help. The moment when you can tell your husband: “I want our family back” will definitely come. The last step should be your assurances that, wanting to return the family relationship, you will not reproach him for past sins and expect the same from him.
Most likely, these steps will lead you to the expected result: your husband will return after the divorce.
Of course, after the husband returns, it will not be possible to pretend that nothing happened. A lot of effort needs to be made to get everything back. Both spouses changed during the divorce. It is psychologically difficult to survive the return and regain feelings. But if both have the desire, everything is possible.