You may not like melodramas, but you will agree that they are emotional and intense, AND their main characters - men - are also sensitive and emotional! Of course, for the most part this fiction. And yet I want to live like in the movies, hear compliments and experience beautiful love...
How much more pleasant and simpler everything in life would be if husbands showed more sensitivity and attentiveness to their other halves. Then there would be no doubt that the husband proposed when he realized that he could not live without you, and not because wedding magazines were laid out throughout the house. Are you also unable to understand what is in your husband’s mind after a quarrel? He does not show emotions - he does not worry, does not repent and pretends that nothing happened. And all this - instead of returning your favor by giving an unusual bouquet or beautiful postcard with handwritten Japanese poems...
There is good news for you: the emotionality of your loved one can be corrected. You shouldn’t wait for men’s hormonal levels to change with age and for them to become softer, more soulful and sentimental. After all, this only happens around the age of 50-60! Act now: honestly and frankly say what and why you don’t like, what you would like. But it shouldn't look like a complaint. Nor is it worth developing a list of clear rules, such as: “Always ask, ‘What happened, honey?’ if I slammed the door loudly.” Otherwise, you will achieve feigned rather than desired sincere emotionality. So the most the right way- This is education according to all pedagogical and psychological principles.
Principle 1. Act according to the situation
Any quality is cultivated if a person is firmly convinced that it is good. Men are not sure that being emotional is good. Since childhood, they have been told that boys don’t cry, don’t doubt, and don’t watch sentimental films. And even as adults, they often find themselves in a situation of conflicting demands. On the one hand, you expect your husband to be aggressive when someone accidentally pushes you in the store. On the other hand, you want your husband to show special delicacy towards you. Moreover, by expecting sincerity and empathy towards yourself, do you suppress any attempts to show these feelings to other relatives or close friends? For example, my husband says: “Listen, I’m going to see my mother today. She has this Bad mood, it seems to me that she needs my support,” or: “A friend is not himself after breaking up with his wife. Let him live with us, he feels bad being alone.” And you indignantly answer: “Mother Teresa for me too. You have one person for support and sympathy - me. Let everyone else handle it themselves." Typically, the manifestation of great sensitivity is not required in all cases of life. It is on the husband’s behavior in certain situations that you need to work. Leave the idea of making a man more sensitive and gentle in all respects. Otherwise, it can turn against you. Good thing, he will start bringing kittens home too. They are so weak, defenseless...
Principle 2. Create an educational
In the first marriage, a representative of the stronger sex may behave like an outside observer - not take care of children, not strive for material wealth, and not show any interest in common affairs. And, as a result, divorce. And in a new marriage, the same man becomes an exemplary family man. Usually an unsuccessful first marriage is explained by the fact that the husband and wife were “not a couple.” But there is another factor. Men are very susceptible to the environment in which they find themselves; they quite easily adopt habits, general lifestyle and attitude. Women's emotionality is stronger; it influences everyone around them. If there are a man and a woman in different moods in the room, then after some time the woman will “transmit” her mood to the man, and not vice versa. A family, in its attitudes, norms, and habits, is always more similar to the woman from this family. And this means that you yourself can implement any rules and regulations.
Want more soulfulness? Demonstrate it yourself more often. Ask about their mood, how the day went, greet them joyfully, send touching messages from time to time. But this should not be intrusive, because we are talking about creating a special atmosphere in the family - truly kind and emotional.
Do you dream of hearing more kind words? Then set an example yourself: come up with pleasant nicknames, say good things - one on one and in the presence of strangers. Often a woman simply waits for her husband to understand that he should behave like a handsome prince. Your goal is to create conditions for transformation. And don't be discouraged if the results aren't noticeable right away. If a person has never heard the words “my dear cat” before, his first reaction may be the most unexpected.
Principle 3: Maintain Results
Encouragement is a strong educational stimulus. The most persistent behavioral violations are corrected if the person receives bonuses in material or psychological nature for good deeds. But in this case, the encouragement should not be too obvious. You shouldn’t say to you in response to your husband’s affectionate address: “What did you say? My dear? Well done. You can whenever you want!” Avoid irony: “Why all of a sudden so much tenderness? There’s no other way to go to football today.” The best reward will be reciprocal tenderness. It is important that a person feels that his efforts are not in vain, and that he himself receives positive emotions. There is also a special method - delayed reward. For example, in the middle of the day you send your husband a message. The text could be something like this: “Yesterday - do you remember when we discussed celebrating my birthday - you looked at me so affectionately and stroked my hair. I was very pleased." This always makes a strong and very positive impression. Even if a person himself does not remember how he looked or said something pleasant, the desire to show tenderness will arise much more often. And that is why the deferred gratification method can be used in the most difficult cases. For example, when your hot Finnish guy not only doesn’t say words of love, but he can’t even take your hand. People are different, and if lack of emotionality is the only drawback of your loved one, you should not discount it. You can say to such a person “yesterday you looked like that…” even if he certainly didn’t put any special tenderness into his gaze. Your delight will still cause reciprocal emotions. Next time the look will be truly tender.
Principle 4: Talk about ideals
It’s okay if you talk about ideal men, about the kind of relationship you would like to have with a specific person. But this topic always requires a special approach. Expressed dissatisfaction must be combined with absolute acceptance by the man. So you can:
— Admire representatives of the stronger sex, who are somehow capable of showing special sensitivity and sentimentality. But you cannot, for example, say this: “Learn how to react to the words “we are having a child.” Normal men cry with happiness, and don’t say: “Yeah, okay, maybe it’s not so serious.”
— Tell me about my sick friend Masha, whose husband ordered a hundred balloons to please her. As they hovered in the air near the window, my friend was reading touching words written on each ball.
— Draw your partner’s attention to certain moments in those films that you watch together and where men, as if by choice, cry from feelings and suffer for a long, long time from unrequited love.
— Report about your neighbor Vasya, who noticed that you looked sad. But all this should not sound too categorical and something like this: “Vasya is a real man.”
It is better not to go deeper into discussing details. And don’t get hung up on it: we talked about the situation that worries you, took a break, and then returned to normal communication. Men can also read “between the lines.”
March 19, 2013 6:36:26 AM
Leisure
Monotony, routine, gray everyday life can destroy the once-born bright feeling between a man and a woman. So that you don’t have to one day face the fact that your husband doesn’t love you anymore and fall in love with your husband yourself, periodically bring sips into your life fresh air. Find new activities for yourself that can entertain and unite both of you, and give you the opportunity to communicate with each other. Break away from your usual weekend activities and take a pottery class or go on a trip out of town. Spending time together doing something interesting will definitely bring you together.
If your husband works late or is away on a business trip, remind him of yourself by sending him SMS or emails. Let these be short romantic messages.
Solving family problems
Not only leisure time can unite two people, but also joint resolution of family problems and matters, for example, financial issues. Scientists have found that men don’t really like it when their spouses try to control their income and spend on their own. Manage your family budget together. Thus, you will avoid conflicts arising on this basis, get a chance to do one thing together, conquer and be able to make your own husband fall in love with you. He will certainly appreciate this approach and support your decision.
Joint project
To make a guy fall in love with you again, you can offer him some kind of joint project. For example, ask him to supervise you while you diet, or help him quit smoking. Or do some repairs, but make sure that disputes about who will putty the wall and what color the wallpaper should be do not escalate into a war.
When your spouse is near, hug him. Scientists have found that frequent touch reduces tension and stress.
Daily diet
To make a husband love his wife, you can diversify your daily diet. Include avocados, seafood, nuts, and hot spices in your menu. This will refresh everyday life and help increase attraction to each other, because these products are recognized aphrodisiacs. After all, the problem of lack of desire often affects not only men, but also women. After 35 years, more than half of the fair sex experience this problem.
Bedroom
Remove from the bedroom everything that could somehow interfere with your personal life in it. Such items include telephones, televisions, laptops and other achievements of technological progress. Remember that the bedroom is an intimate space created for two, and while in it you only need to pay attention to each other. Also try to get enough sleep, because healthy sleep contributes to regular intimate relationships.
"Dad“Why did you marry your mother, because you don’t love her?” asks a teenage girl, who imagines love between a man and a woman in a completely different way from how her parents treat each other. All women want their husband to love her the same way as this was before the wedding. After all, until the day the girl has given her consent to become his wife, the man is ready for anything. He pushes into the background his work, meetings with friends and all events that prevent him from being with his beloved.
To weddings he gives her gifts huge bouquets flowers, takes care of her and protects her. Unfortunately, the delight of falling in love in the eyes of many men fades just a year after the stamp appears in their passport. Tired of constant showdowns, and looking at his wife, who has changed a lot, the husband thinks: “I don’t love her anymore and why did I marry her?” In fact, love does not pass so quickly, just by getting married, many men suffer due to the loss of hope of realizing their dreams. And they dream of seeing their beloved girl always the same as she was when she met him. But when married, all women change. Unlike the guy who sought her hand, the husband for them becomes something that they have already achieved and that does not deserve constant attention.
Home error women who are looking for an answer to the question: “What should I do so that I don’t cheat and always love?” is that every day they devote a lot of time to caring for their appearance and raising a child, completely forgetting that it is not so important for a man what clothes and hairstyle she meets him in. External beauty- this is not the main thing family life, although it improves the husband's attitude towards his wife.
Man gets married with the hope that now a person will appear in his life with whom he can share all his sorrows and joys, who will answer him with gratitude for the fact that he loves her so much and tries to make her happy. In other words, men want to see a grateful wife next to them, radiating warmth and tenderness, and not a decorated beauty who is always dissatisfied with something. No matter how beautiful and a wonderful mother you are, you will not be able to maintain your husband’s warm attitude towards you if you do not respect him as a person and do not show interest in his life.
Exists There are many opportunities to keep the flame of love from dying out. But they all boil down to the fact that the wife should be a princess whom you want to protect and are afraid to lose. And this means you need to become like the girl you were before the wedding. Remember the time when you met your husband and what attracted his attention to you. After all, he loved you for a reason, but for the quality of character that you had. Perhaps it was your self-confidence, your ability to listen, or your desire to help him. But there was something that he especially liked about you, and because of which he agreed to connect his life with you. Apparently now you have lost this “zest” if your husband has become indifferent to you.
Try again become the woman he was crazy about: listen carefully, but don’t point him out, help, but don’t demand, love, but don’t be jealous, care, but don’t impose your help and don’t smother him with your love. Learn to be restrained and calm. No man can stand a woman who cannot control her emotions for long. If you want to express everything out loud or throw a tantrum, go into another room, walk down the street or cry into your pillow.
Do whatever whatever, but do not give the opportunity to emotions to finish off those remnants of your husband’s feelings, which until recently he considered love for you. Instead of expressing everything you are thinking to your face, learn to give in to him. In this way, you will strengthen his self-confidence and self-esteem, thanks to which his love for you will remain and flourish. If you want your husband to never cheat on you, try to regain that character trait that once attracted him. This, of course, is not easy. But this is exactly what will save you from divorce, because another woman will attract his attention also due to the presence of these qualities in herself.
Most men They cheat on their wives not because they stopped loving them. They just get tired of the monotony, and having met a new and unusual woman are trying to change their lives. Not every man cheats to satisfy his sexual needs. Most often, they find someone next to whom it is cozy and comfortable to spend their evenings. The one who does not spare him tender words and affection. The one with whom he has many common interests and with whom he enjoys communicating. The one who cooks deliciously and doesn’t scold him for not washing the dishes. If you want your husband to never cheat on you, then try to become like this “that one” before he meets her and stops loving you.
And finally I wanted I would say that in happy families the wife never takes the role of an inaccessible beauty and does not devote all of her free time caring for your appearance. If you want your husband to always love you, then first love him yourself. After all, in order to get something in this life, we must first give something.
Every woman in a relationship with a man strives to adhere to certain rules so that the connection between two people is as pleasant and comfortable as possible for both. But why then doesn’t everyone succeed? How to make him love you?
Research this issue A lot of work by psychologists has been devoted to this. Every specialist wanted to come up with some new and original formula ideal relationship. But as a result, it was only possible to formulate the basic principles of how to love a man and make him happy. Let's look at some of them.
First of all, a woman must remember the main goal of a relationship with a man. As a rule, this is to ensure maximum comfort for yourself and him, a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Therefore, in order to learn how to love a man, you need to initially determine for yourself why you should do it, and remember this motivation constantly. As a rule, they begin due to the fact that a woman often has reasons for dissatisfaction: either PMS, or nervous tension during the day, or fatigue and jealousy, and so on. Therefore, you need to think about whether the peace of your partner, and, accordingly, yours, is worth such hassle.
Following the advice of psychologists, you must definitely praise your partner. If he is not worthy of praise, there is no point in wasting time on him at all. You need to choose the right words to make him see your interest in him and his affairs, show care and attention. Do not follow the principle “to over-praise is to spoil.” It is relevant only in childhood. It is impossible to overpraise an adult, because each of us has a limit to self-esteem.
No man likes to be humiliated in public. The authority of a man in society is much more important than that of a woman, who is sometimes allowed to hide under the mask of a frivolous fool. How to love a man? Imagine that your significant other begins to undermine your authority in front of friends, colleagues or partners - this is tantamount to a knife in the back. Therefore, you need to respect and support your betrothed in all situations.
When dealing with him, you should avoid words with diminutive suffixes, because they do not always sound appropriate for him. It's better to save this kind of expression for a particularly successful night of love.
A woman must remember that declaring her love to her beloved man greatly stimulates his self-esteem and increases it very significantly. However, this does not mean that you need to say these words constantly, otherwise the meaning of their sound will be lost. But you shouldn’t forget about them either.
Women need to remember that the partner should be the main one in the relationship. This is very convenient, because you don’t have to think about solving “world problems” when a man can do all this. This does not humiliate a woman, except in situations where she considers herself humiliated. Some perceive it as gallantry, while others perceive it as a hint that a woman is unable to jump over a puddle due to physical weakness of her legs.
Every woman should be able to cook deliciously and do it regularly. This issue is not even discussed in relationships. Otherwise, your man will find a more skilled cook for himself!
Everyone wants to love and be loved. And even though feminists declare a thousand times that they do not need men, deep down, every woman dreams of being needed, desired, the best and most amazing for the one and only. Yes, it’s so banal and simple, probably so out of date. But all women were once little girls who were brought up on fairy tales about princes. Those amazingly strong, kind and understanding handsome men who can love you once and for the rest of their lives, without even seeing you even once. Of course, life is a pragmatic thing. She will never be so bright and fabulous, and among modern men you can hardly meet a prince. Of course, somewhere these unique specimens still remain, but they are as rare in our latitudes as pandas and saber-toothed tigers. Modern men they don't think about romance. They became cynical and pragmatic. That is why, more and more often, girls are asking the question: what to do to make a man love more?
As sad as it is to admit, modern guys have to be held back. There are too many temptations in our world, and they, our men, are so greedy for bright candy wrappers that before you even have time to blink an eye, he’s no longer around. That is why, in order to keep the person you love (and you love him, because no one will strain for the unloved and unnecessary) in all your actions and actions, you need to somehow turn to their primitive instinct.
Every man is a hunter at heart. And a woman for him is the same roe deer that he chased through the mountains and valleys thousands and thousands of years ago. And as soon as he caught up with her, as soon as she gave up, at that very moment interest disappeared. So it is with women. I didn’t have time to open up to him, trust him - that’s all. He is bored, monotonous, and his eyes are already looking for a new roe deer. So what to do to make a man love more is of interest to our readers
That is why the first unwritten rule says: never open up completely to your loved one. You don’t need to tell him your entire biography, notify him of your every step, or retell all your phone conversations. Of course, this does not mean at all that you should play secret agents, hide in the bathroom with your cell phone and answer all questions with mysterious silence. You just need to know when to stop everything.
Sometimes it’s worth keeping silent about some details, and not being the first to tell what happened to you that day. Yes, and by the way, you don’t have to pick up the phone either. Sometimes. Light injections of jealousy won't hurt. Your loved one must trust you. But at the same time, you cannot be completely and 100% sure that you will have it forever and nothing will change it.
This leads to rule number two: don't give yourself over to him completely. There is no need to repeat every day that he is your life, air, food and water. There is no need to convince your loved one that you will fulfill any request. Even to your own detriment. If you made it clear that without him you simply do not exist, if you dissolved in him, thereby losing your personality, then you simply became his thing. And even your favorite things still get boring. And when he’s had enough of you, it’s too late to cry and ask: what to do to make a man love you more. Because love has been gone for a long time.
By the way, about love and its expression. This question can be attributed to rule three. There is no need to pester a guy with questions: “do you love me?”, “tell me, why do you so rarely talk to me about love?”, “don’t you need me?” etc. Male psychology is completely different from female psychology. Guys confirm their feelings more with actions than words. That’s why they simply don’t understand why talk when everything is already obvious. And your obsession simply drives them crazy.
And we come to rule four: don't force it. Don't impose love, don't impose opinions, don't impose guardianship. Especially custody. You worry whether he is dressed warmly, whether he has eaten well, and you order a taxi to get him back from the party he was at with his friends. Do you know who you are? You are a mother. Do you really need an over-aged child who will be capricious, make scenes and manipulate you, knowing that you will forgive him in any case? Of course not.
You must be the princess that he protects, that he worries about, and that he is afraid of losing. Remember: worrying about a loved one and caring for him are completely different things. There must be a golden mean in everything. The one we talk about in rule five: restraint. All your emotions should be like the sea in good weather, when a light breeze drives small waves towards the shore. And if these waves turn into a ninth wave, sound the alarm. Because your man is already ringing all the bells. Guys cannot stand it and are afraid of excessive expression of emotions. Be it love, joy, resentment or tears. Be wiser. If you want to throw a tantrum, it’s better to leave the room, take a walk, do whatever you want to make your emotions subside. Men worry more about calm, cold calm. But your screams irritate and help turn everything upside down. Remember for yourself how many such scandals began with the fact that he was the obvious culprit, and in the end, you turned out to be the culprit. Therefore, draw your own conclusions.
And just be a real lady. That woman who advises, but does not indicate, helps, but does not press, loves, but does not suffocate with her love.
Your hunter should be aware that a roe deer can disappear behind a tree. No, she doesn't plan to do this, and she doesn't scare him. But she can. Because she is a strong and free woman. She knows how to move upward in life, she has the strength and talent to achieve a lot. And she will never disappear if she finds herself alone. But at the same time, he should feel that you need his support and understanding, that you are ready to compromise and solve problems. But you will never become a thoughtless puppet in his hands.
Real men love only real women. And if you want love not to fade away, always remain a wise queen. After all, a woman is, first of all, wisdom. Therefore, be wise in all situations, and then you will never have to suffer.