There is so much controversy surrounding the topic of friendship between the two sexes! Some believe that men cannot be friends with women, while others argue that sincere friendship is quite possible. The most interesting thing is that both sides present quite weighty arguments in defense of their point of view... How can you not get confused here? Undoubtedly, communication with the opposite sex can be very exciting and has many advantages, but can these relationships be called friendship? Let's try to figure this out.
There is often some frustration, which promotes solidarity and shared and implicit exchange. Roberto Pani, specialist in clinical psychology and psychopathology. Psychotherapist and psychoanalyst. 
Roberto Pani is a psychologist, psychotherapist, psychoanalyst, specialist in psychology in clinical psychology in Bologna.
A free consultation helps you better understand what your clinical psychological position is and whether this is a case for a psychotherapeutic relationship. It is preferable that by email or telephone an appointment can be made, which will take place at the Department of Psychology of Bologna, through Filippo Re, 6 - Bologna, in order to receive free personal consultations.
Why men are friends with women
Like any relationship, friendships have to start somewhere. To talk about such a vague concept as the attraction of kindred spirits, in in this case there's no point. After all, without sufficient information about a person, you can hardly trust him, and without communicating with him for a long time, it is difficult to talk about closeness in spirit. This means only one thing - two people are connected by something, but each of them may have their own motivation for communication. Each case is individual, each situation has its own development, and what is happening deep in the soul even in the most loved one, one can often only guess. Nevertheless, let’s try to consider some options for friendship between women and men, at least as the “tip of the iceberg.”
He is a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Bologna, author of many articles on clinical psychology, psychoanalytic psychotherapy and psychoanalytic psychodrama. He deals with topics about the Emotional Pathway, anxiety, depression, addiction, panic attacks, and compulsive behavior.
To keep him from leaving the friend zone and seeing you as a sexually active woman and not just her “sister,” it’s best not to hide the fact that you have a boyfriend. 
Trust yourself, as well as with yours best friend, but don't worry about her masculinity and manly instincts. Even if you are your reliable friend, a person should always feel this.
childhood friends. One can say about such friendship that it has been tested over the years. There was plenty of time to get to know each other properly. All the actions, habits and behavioral characteristics of such a friend are clearly visible. You know well what he is capable of, and what his weak sides. A friend or childhood friend inspires trust in your other half, and this is understandable - after all, if for such long time If there is no mutual sympathy between you, then there is nothing to fear. More often than not, this is exactly how things actually are.
Two friends hug, but try not to overdo it with affectionate displays because they can be interpreted poorly. 
When the relationship is in the friends area but one of them is interested, clearly tell her that she is a great friend. The meaning of the word "friend".
If you keep him as a friend but don't need anything else, always organize group outings. You will have a pleasant evening without creating any embarrassing situations. 
If you like it but know it hasn't paid out, it will probably take a while. Not all men actually agree to be friends. So if you're not interested in it, don't fix it just because it's driven by the typically feminine sense of control and desire to have a person all to yourself.
Friends with similar interests. We are talking about having a common hobby that such a couple literally lives by. Most often this is a creative activity, sport or collaboration. People are so passionate about their work that they simply have no time to consider each other as a man or a woman, although there are exceptions. Even with complete transparency of such relationships, a friend’s acquaintance with his other half, and even family friendship, your chosen one or chosen one will still have some doubts. After all, your communication began, if not as an adult, then already at a conscious age, which means that interest in a friend (or on his part) may be far from childish.
Is there friendship between a man and a woman? Only if you avoid sexual cues that are easily misinterpreted. Here's how to stay in the neighboring area. Because no one can be a friend to an attractive woman, she always wants to get her out of bed. Is there friendship between women and men? According to recent studies no. And it's not women's fault. Men, in fact, are unable to resist their sexual desire, misunderstanding women's signals.
According to a study by the Department of Psychology at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology in Trondheim, Norway, men only suffer from headaches due to natural urges that go beyond their conscious awareness. "A person's reproductive fitness, that is, the number of children they produce, depends on how many women are pregnant," says researcher Måns Bediksen. There would be a big misunderstanding at the heart of it all. For the study, published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, Bediksen asked 308 men and women between the ages of 18 and 30 to answer questions about their relationships with other people.
Friendship "for no reason". It happens that the impetus for the beginning of a friendly relationship can be a similar life situation, and, of course, compassion and understanding with subsequent communication. Such friendship can still be, if not accepted, then at least understood. If a couple met under random circumstances and justifies their communication by the “attraction of kindred spirits,” which was mentioned above, there is mutual interest. No matter how such people try to convey to their other halves that nothing unites them except friendship, such communication will harm them love unions. Jealousy in this case is completely justified, and impotent anger (due to the lack of arguments) will sooner or later result in something more.
It turned out that both men and women believe that their behavior is poorly interpreted by other sex. However, many may claim that they have a true friend. The only way to have a person as a friend seems to be in a situation where, for one reason or another, the sexual component is completely absent.
For example, if you were busy when you were teenagers and the relationship is so irritated that a platonic friendship is now possible. If, however, you have known the person for some time and are interested in you as a friend but nothing more, there is a practice that must be put into practice so as not to go beyond it. Of course, he always agrees to make you a friend. There must be an alternative, but that's another story.
Behavior of women in friendships with men
If a woman whom he calls a friend is constantly present next to your chosen one, analyze her behavior in order to get rid of doubts forever.
Signs of sympathy from a “friend”
There is a type of girls and women who, having failed to make the proper impression on the man or guy they like, try to get closer to him as a friend. A certain percentage of such “friends” actually have success, albeit not always long-term. The tactics of most of them are the same - they collect information about their lover, are constantly present nearby, and at the right moment demonstrate their readiness to do anything, hiding behind friendly feelings and kindness. They reveal themselves by the following signs:
Why should you have a male friend?
Many people don't believe in "friendship between opposite sexes", we here instead offer 5 good reasons to find you a heart friend. Is there no friendship between a man and a woman? For many years, sociologists and anthropologists have been committed to finding a plausible solution to the eternal dilemma that still affects much of humanity: can there be selfless friendship between opposite sexes? We feel like we need to answer with a vague "depends" only because before we talk about selfless friendship, we should think about why it's "good together, but only as friends."
- They preen themselves before meeting a friend, put on revealing clothes;
- They demonstrate their femininity;
- They give advice that leads to quarrels with a friend’s girlfriend;
- Compare themselves out loud with other women, emphasizing their positive qualities;
- They offer to drink together.
Of course, not all of them behave so openly and primitively, but to a greater or lesser extent such behavior features are present in them.
For example, no one would ever believe that your ex could become your best friend, but if you know someone with whom the relationship has remained the same for years, like the times when you were single and the ones you despair for the last flame, then, perhaps there may be a truly sincere and absolutely precious brotherly feeling among you.
Many women, however, testify that friendship with a man can be truly rewarding: no envy, no lies, no competition, if you brought your share of shoes and loved staying on the phone as much as you did, the man is almost perfect! Anyway, here are five good reasons, why every woman should have a man friend, except for purely practical issues!
Signs of sincere friendship
There is absolutely no reason to worry and be jealous if your chosen one’s girlfriend behaves as follows:
- She wears casual clothes to meet him and does not look provocative;
- Does not provide negative influence on your relationship with your advice;
- She has an organized personal life;
- She does not look for a reason to be alone with him and deliberately avoids ambiguous situations;
- She does not burden him with constant requests, emphasizing her fragility and helplessness;
- This couple has mutual friends.
Behavior of men in friendship with women
How to recognize the true intentions of a seemingly friendly person? Does he really have friendly feelings towards you, or is there something more? Let's try to put everything in its place by analyzing the behavior of men in friendship with the opposite sex.
If your friends want to combine a meeting, they make sure to tell you about a candidate who likes tall athletic athletes, who no longer live with their parents and who likes to eat in hotels, explaining to them that you are a cute, pretty and tasty girl.
Sometimes when friends give you a compliment, you never know what they're saying, just fit for "cool those boots!", "Where did you buy that enamel", "that new haircut in order!". Men are unlikely to miss a compliment, and when they do, it's because they think it's serious, so if they tell you they're skinny, they're doing it because you've actually lost weight, not because you've depression after 2 months of gymnastics without the least result.
Signs of sympathy from a “friend”
Men, like women, use different tactics in the struggle for their happiness. Sometimes it is much more effective not to fall into a girl’s soul at first sight, but simply to be close to her right time V in the right place. Who, if not a friend, is the easiest to predict such a situation? Having become a friend, an interested man can count on frankness on the part of his beloved, and also fully enjoy her trust. Such a “friend” reveals himself as follows:
This could save your life
You've been invited to a friend's wedding and you already find yourself sitting at a table of destitute singles and chronic depressants when you get a brilliant idea on your head. This person may be nice, and you don't have to explain the nature of your relationship if you simply ask the bride and groom "can I bring someone with me?" This will be your salvation throughout the ceremony and if you really regret it you can even give yourself a dance, mainly for the friend you are doing and much more.
- Tries to spend time alone with her friend, avoiding the presence of mutual friends;
- Emphasizes his superiority over his girlfriend’s chosen one in a way that is within his power;
- Gives expensive gifts, is ready to help at any time;
- Hints or says openly that her friend’s chosen one is unworthy of her;
- Denies his connections with other women, or talks about their frivolity;
- He tries to evoke sympathy, but at the same time demonstrates the strength of his character. In other words, he was unlucky, but he will cope with difficulties.
Unlike women, most men cannot stand such a situation for long, so sooner or later they call a spade a spade in order to gain at least some certainty.
Whether your friend left you for no reason or your employer fired you without warning, the epic drama is truly hand-worn. Sure, your friends will listen to you until your tear ducts are completely dry, but lots of ventilation is nothing if it doesn't solve the problem. Men don't do that, they have to figure things out and do it right away, whether it's a picker that's lost, a broken lock, or a broken heart. Instead of letting you read the breakup letter for the fifteenth time, they grab you to a more practical solution, succeeding in getting you to grab positive side situations.
Signs of sincere friendship
Your beloved man can be calm if his friend behaves as follows:
- Doesn't comment on your appearance in any way. He behaves the same way regardless of whether you are wearing a feminine dress or a regular tracksuit. He just doesn't care;
- Discusses his relationship with his wife or girlfriend with you;
- Uses profanity in conversation. Trying to please a girl, a young man will not swear in front of her, unless the reason is a lack of upbringing. When it comes to friendly communication, you can afford much more;
- Asks to borrow money. If a man is trying to impress you, he will solve his material problems on his own;
- Doesn't affect your relationship with your loved one. In case of conflict situations, he keeps his opinion to himself so as not to be extreme.
Remember that we choose with whom we communicate. If your friendship with someone of the opposite sex is harming your love life, think about whether you have your priorities straight.
Then trusting their drama can be vital in some cases. If you're moving this week and you're not looking to hire a moving company, it's because your first thought went to him as you looked desperate for piles of packages to move. While a friend may be precious in choosing what to pass on and which ones to throw straight into the box, his graceful hands will never be comparable to a boy's, especially when it comes to increasing the number of boxes.
At first you know that he will never tell you that pizza and beer will be more than enough to thank you for being tired, because you wanted it too! Either way, otherwise, bless you! Ergo cannot be sincere and selfless love. Worst of all. A real disaster. No sir. Friendship between men and women does not exist! This is not biologically possible.
It just so happens that there are only two genders on Earth - male and female. For thousands of years, people have been asking the question: is any relationship other than love possible between a Man and a Woman? For example, can a Man and a Woman be friends?
Psychology interprets friendship between a man and a woman as a negative and non-existent phenomenon, because, in their opinion, only intimacy can exist between creatures of different sexes. Let's try to figure out if this is really so.
Personally speaking, whoever writes to you thinks this is weird nonsense. First of all, if we simply want to be precise and analyze the discourse on so-called meaningless respect, we must first broaden our horizons and extend this reflection to other related but equally important contexts. Therefore: gay men cannot be friends with other men, and lesbians cannot be friends with other women. Well, it seems obvious to me, bisexuals can't be anyone's friends! We are deserted, we are very sorry, but your sexual desires prevent you from being friends with any other breathing person.
Hunter and Game
As the writer Oscar Wilde once said, any kind of relationship exists between a man and a woman, “but it is not friendship.” And indeed, it always seems to us that we can be friends with representatives of the same sex, but only experience a certain type of attraction to the opposite sex. You can have a heart-to-heart talk with a friend, discuss purely women’s problems that will be incomprehensible to a man.
We highly recommend a pet, possibly a dog. Now, given this premise, we have to admit that things start to get complicated: heterosexual women can only be friends with gay men or other women, unless they are homosexual themselves, in which case there is nothing to be done. Straight men instead of other straight men or lesbians. Gay women, on the other hand, can only be friends with gay men, who can be friends with both lesbians and middle-aged women.
And bisexuals stick to the tram as above. Now, honestly, don't you think this theory is out of the question? It's hard to remember this whole mental model on a theoretical level, let alone when it comes to practical application.
Data from biological and psychological research indicate that Men and Women are built completely differently: they perceive information from the outside world differently, communicate differently, and solve problems differently. Friendship implies that you and the person have the same approach to solving problems, the same vision of a particular situation, the same program of action in case of joy, concern, or anxiety.
In a word, your friend is always a like-minded person. A man with his own vision of the situation, conditioned by another, does not female type psyche, is completely unsuitable for the role of a friend.
Historically, a Man is a hunter, a pursuer, and a Woman is a prey, a victim. Can these two feel anything for each other other than such a strong relationship as love or hate? The fair answer would be “no,” but... many people still answer the question of whether friendship between a woman and a man is possible and honestly answer that it is yes. And they even cite several typical situations.
I will be friends with you if...
Situation one: childhood friends. Let's say Masha and Petya were born and raised in the same yard, played together, went to the same kindergarten, and then to school, entered the same institute. It is natural that they will keep in touch even after graduation, because they know so much about each other. They always have something to talk about and remember funny moments from their childhood life.
Situation two: work colleagues. It often happens that a man and a woman work side by side in the same organization. Perhaps they even sit in the same room, on the same floor, participate in the same project and often get through the next deadline together. How can you not start a friendship here?
Moreover, when there is a person of the same professional level next to you, who is always ready to lend a shoulder in difficult times, on whom you can always rely - these are simply wonderful circumstances for friendly relations!
Finally, the third and most common situation: a man and a woman were once in an intimate relationship, but now everything is in the past. This is the problem we most often encounter in psychological consultations. Moreover, the question: what does it mean if a man offers friendship most often worries women.
Men somehow think little about inside such friendship. It is enough for them that the woman they once loved is nearby. Psychologists tend to believe that such behavior is a desperate attempt by a man to maintain at least some kind of relationship with the object of passion, if the feelings have not yet completely faded away. In this case, a woman should think carefully about whether she should agree to such a friendship.
But in general, friendship between a man and a woman is, of course, too slippery a variant of friendly relations, and not a single party is immune from their smooth development into a romantic one.
Video on the topic of the article