Hemingway once bet that he would write a six-word story (in the original language) that would be the most moving ever written. And he won the argument.
1. “Children's shoes for sale. Not worn."
(“For sale: baby shoes, never used.”)
2. The winner of the competition for the shortest story that has a beginning, climax and denouement. (O.Henry)
“The driver lit a cigarette and bent over the gas tank to see how much gasoline was left. The deceased was twenty-three years old."
3. Frederick Brown. The shortest scary story ever written.
“The last man on Earth was sitting in a room. There was a knock on the door."
4. A competition was held in Great Britain for the shortest story.
The parameters were as follows:
- God must be mentioned,
- Queen,
- There should be some sex
and there is some mystery present.
The winning story:
- God! - cried the queen, - I’m pregnant, and it’s unknown from whom!...
5. An elderly French woman won the competition for the shortest autobiography and wrote:
“I used to have a smooth face and a wrinkled skirt, but now it’s the other way around.”
Here are a few more of the most short stories in the world, up to 55 words. Read for your health.
Jane Orvis
Window
Ever since Rita was brutally murdered, Carter has been sitting by the window.
No TV, reading, correspondence. His life is what is seen through the curtains.
He doesn't care who brings the food, who pays the bills, he doesn't leave the room.
His life is passing athletes, the change of seasons, passing cars, the ghost of Rita.
Carter doesn't realize that the felt-lined chambers have no windows.
Larisa Kirkland
Offer
Starlight Night. It's the right time. Romantic dinner. Cozy Italian restaurant. Small black dress. Luxurious hair, sparkling eyes, silvery laughter. We've been together for two years. Wonderful time! Real love, best friend, no one else. Champagne! I offer my hand and heart. On one knee. Are people watching? Well, let! Beautiful diamond ring. Blush on the cheeks, charming smile.
How, no?!
Charles Enright
Ghost
As soon as this happened, I hurried home to tell my wife the sad news. But she didn't seem to listen to me at all. She didn't notice me at all. She looked right through me and poured herself a drink. She turned on the TV.
At that moment the phone rang. She walked over and picked up the phone.
I saw her face wrinkle. She cried bitterly.
Andrew E. Hunt
Gratitude
The woolen blanket that he was recently given in charitable foundation, hugged his shoulders comfortably, and the boots he found in the trash today did not sting at all.
The street lights warmed the soul so pleasantly after all this chilling darkness...
The curve of the park bench seemed so familiar to his weary old back.
“Thank you, Lord,” he thought, “life is simply amazing!”
Brian Newell
What the devil wants
The two boys stood and watched Satan slowly walk away. The sparkle of his hypnotic eyes still clouded their heads.
- Listen, what did he want from you?
- My soul. And from you?
- A coin for a pay phone. He urgently needed to call.
- Do you want us to go eat?
- I want to, but now I have no money at all.
- It's OK. I have plenty.
Alan E. Mayer
Bad luck
I woke up with severe pain throughout my body. I opened my eyes and saw a nurse standing by my bed.
“Mr. Fujima,” she said, “you were lucky to survive the bombing of Hiroshima two days ago.” But now you are in the hospital, you are no longer in danger.
A little alive from weakness, I asked:
- Where I am?
“To Nagasaki,” she answered.
Jay Rip
Fate
There was only one way out, for our lives were intertwined in too tangled a knot of anger and bliss to solve everything any other way. Let's trust the lot: heads - and we will get married, tails - and we will part forever.
The coin was tossed. She tinkled, spun and stopped. Eagle.
We stared at her in bewilderment.
Then, with one voice, we said, “Maybe one more time?”
Robert Tompkins
In Search of Truth
Finally, in this remote, secluded village, his search ended. Truth sat in a dilapidated hut by the fire.
He had never seen an older, uglier woman.
- You - Really?
The old, wizened hag nodded solemnly.
- Tell me, what should I tell the world? What message to convey?
The old woman spat into the fire and answered:
- Tell them that I am young and beautiful!
August Salemi
Modern medicine
Blinding headlights, a deafening grinding sound, piercing pain, absolute pain, then a warm, inviting, pure blue light. John felt amazingly happy, young, free, he moved towards the radiant radiance.
The pain and darkness slowly returned. John slowly, with difficulty, opened his swollen eyes. Bandages, some tubes, plaster. Both legs were gone. Tearful wife.
- You were saved, dear!
As we see the shortest and most interesting stories in the world are distinguished by brevity and extraordinary depth of thoughts - the authors skillfully fit into the shortest stories unprecedented content and the most interesting stories turn out to be extremely attractive to readers.
Hemingway once bet that he would write a six-word story (in the original language) that would be the most moving ever written. And he won the argument.
1. “Children's shoes for sale. Not worn.”
(“For sale: baby shoes, never used.”)
2. The winner of the competition for the shortest story that has a beginning, climax and denouement. (O.Henry)
“The driver lit a cigarette and bent over the gas tank to see how much gasoline was left. The deceased was twenty-three years old."
3. Frederick Brown. The shortest scary story ever written.
“The last man on Earth was sitting in a room. There was a knock on the door."
4. A competition was held in Great Britain for the shortest story.
The parameters were as follows:
- God must be mentioned,
- Queen,
- There should be some sex
and there is some mystery present.
The winning story:
- God! - cried the queen, - I am pregnant, and it is unknown from
whom!…
5. An elderly French woman won the competition for the shortest autobiography and wrote:
“I used to have a smooth face and a wrinkled skirt, but now it’s the other way around.”
Jane Orvis. Window.
Ever since Rita was brutally murdered, Carter has been sitting by the window.
No TV, reading, correspondence. His life is what is seen through the curtains.
He doesn't care who brings the food, who pays the bills, he doesn't leave the room.
His life is about passing athletes, the change of seasons, passing cars, the ghost of Rita.
Carter doesn't realize that the felt-lined chambers have no windows.
Larisa Kirkland. Offer.
Starlight Night. It's the right time. Romantic dinner. Cozy Italian restaurant. Little black dress. Luxurious hair, sparkling eyes, silvery laughter. We've been together for two years. Wonderful time! True love, best friend, no one else. Champagne! I offer my hand and heart. On one knee. Are people watching? Well, let! Beautiful diamond ring. Blush on the cheeks, charming smile.
How, no?!
Charles Enright. Ghost.
As soon as this happened, I hurried home to tell my wife the sad news. But she didn't seem to listen to me at all. She didn't notice me at all. She looked right through me and poured herself a drink. She turned on the TV.
At that moment the phone rang. She walked over and picked up the phone.
I saw her face wrinkle. She cried bitterly.
Andrew E. Hunt. Gratitude.
The wool blanket he'd recently been given from a charity felt comfortable around his shoulders, and the boots he'd found in the trash today didn't sting at all.
The street lights warmed the soul so pleasantly after all this chilling darkness...
The curve of the park bench seemed so familiar to his weary old back.
“Thank you, Lord,” he thought, “life is simply amazing!”
Brian Newell. What the devil wants.
The two boys stood and watched Satan slowly walk away. The sparkle of his hypnotic eyes still clouded their heads.
- Listen, what did he want from you?
- My soul. And from you?
– A coin for a pay phone. He urgently needed to call.
- Do you want us to go eat?
- I want to, but now I have no money at all.
- It's OK. I have plenty.
Alan E. Mayer. Bad luck.
I woke up with severe pain throughout my body. I opened my eyes and saw a nurse standing by my bed.
“Mr. Fujima,” she said, “you were lucky to survive the bombing of Hiroshima two days ago.” But now you are in the hospital, you are no longer in danger.
A little alive from weakness, I asked:
- Where I am?
“In Nagasaki,” she answered.
Jay Rip. Fate.
There was only one way out, for our lives were intertwined in too tangled a knot of anger and bliss to solve everything any other way. Let's trust the lot: heads - and we will get married, tails - and we will part forever.
The coin was tossed. She tinkled, spun and stopped. Eagle.
We stared at her in bewilderment.
Then, with one voice, we said, “Maybe one more time?”
Robert Tompkins. In search of Truth.
Finally, in this remote, secluded village, his search ended. Truth sat in a dilapidated hut by the fire.
He had never seen an older, uglier woman.
– Are you – Really?
The old, wizened hag nodded solemnly.
- Tell me, what should I tell the world? What message to convey?
The old woman spat into the fire and answered:
– Tell them that I am young and beautiful!
August Salemi. Modern medicine.
Blinding headlights, a deafening grinding sound, piercing pain, absolute pain, then a warm, inviting, pure blue light. John felt amazingly happy, young, free, he moved towards the radiant radiance.
The pain and darkness slowly returned. John slowly, with difficulty, opened his swollen eyes. Bandages, some tubes, plaster. Both legs were gone. Tearful wife.
- You were saved, dear!
Valentin Berestov
There was a time when birds could not sing.
And suddenly they learned that in one distant country there lived an old, wise man who taught music.
Then the birds sent the Stork and the Nightingale to him to check if this was so.
The stork was in a hurry. He couldn't wait to become the world's first musician.
He was in such a hurry that he ran to the sage and didn’t even knock on the door, didn’t greet the old man, and shouted with all his might right in his ear:
Hey old man! Come on, teach me music!
But the sage decided to first teach him politeness.
He took the Stork out the threshold, knocked on the door and said:
You have to do it like this.
All clear! - Stork was happy.
Is this what music is? - and flew away to quickly surprise the world with his art.
The nightingale arrived later on its small wings.
He timidly knocked on the door, said hello, asked for forgiveness for disturbing me and said that he really wanted to study music.
The sage liked the friendly bird. And he taught the nightingale everything he knew.
Since then, the modest Nightingale has become the best singer in the world.
And the eccentric Stork can only knock with his beak. Moreover, he boasts and teaches other birds:
Hey, do you hear? You have to do it like this, like this! This is real music! If you don't believe me, ask an old sage.
How to find a track
Valentin Berestov
The guys went to visit their grandfather the forester. We went and got lost.
They look, Squirrel is jumping over them. From tree to tree. From tree to tree.
Guys - to her:
Belka, Belka, tell me, Belka, Belka, show me, How to find the path to grandpa’s lodge?
“Very simple,” Belka answers.
Jump from this tree to that one, from that one to the crooked birch tree. From the crooked birch tree you can see a large, large oak tree. The roof is visible from the top of the oak tree. This is the gatehouse. Well, what about you? Jump!
Thank you, Belka! - the guys say. - Only we don’t know how to jump on trees. We'd better ask someone else.
The Hare is jumping. The guys sang their song to him too:
Bunny Bunny, tell me, Bunny, Bunny, show me, How to find the path to grandpa's lodge?
To the lodge? - asked the Hare. - There is nothing simpler. At first it will smell like mushrooms. So? Then - hare cabbage. So? Then it smells like a fox hole. So? Skip this smell to the right or left. So? When it is left behind, smell it like this and you will smell the smoke. Jump straight onto it without turning anywhere. This is the forester grandfather setting the samovar.
“Thank you, Bunny,” the guys say. “It’s a pity that our noses are not as sensitive as yours.” I'll have to ask someone else.
They see a snail crawling.
Hey, Snail, tell me, Hey, Snail, show me, How to find the path to grandpa’s lodge?
It’s a long time to tell,” sighed the Snail. - Lu-u-better, I’ll take you there-u-u. Follow me.
Thank you, Snail! - the guys say. - We have no time to crawl. We'd better ask someone else.
A bee sits on a flower.
Guys to her:
Bee, Bee, tell me, Bee, Bee, show me, How to find the path to grandpa’s lodge?
Well, well, says the bee. - I’ll show you... Look where I’m flying. Follow. See my sisters. Where they go, you go too. We bring honey to grandpa's apiary. Well, goodbye! I'm in a big hurry. W-w-w...
And she flew away. The guys didn’t even have time to say thank you to her. They went to where the bees were flying and quickly found the guardhouse. What a joy! And then grandfather treated them to tea with honey.
Honest caterpillar
Valentin Berestov
The caterpillar considered itself very beautiful and did not let a single drop of dew pass without looking at it.
How good am I! - the Caterpillar rejoiced, looking with pleasure at its flat face and arching its furry back to see two golden stripes on it.
It's a pity that no one notices this.
But one day she got lucky. A girl walked through the meadow and picked flowers. The caterpillar climbed to the very top beautiful flower and began to wait.
That's disgusting! It's disgusting to even look at you!
Ah well! - the Caterpillar got angry. - Then I give my honest caterpillar word that no one, ever, anywhere, for anything, under any circumstances, will see me again!
You gave your word - you need to keep it, even if you are a Caterpillar. And the Caterpillar crawled up the tree. From trunk to branch, from branch to branch, from branch to branch, from branch to twig, from twig to leaf.
She took out a silk thread from her abdomen and began to wrap herself around it. She worked for a long time and finally made a cocoon.
Phew, I'm so tired! - the Caterpillar sighed. - I'm completely exhausted.
It was warm and dark in the cocoon, there was nothing more to do, and the Caterpillar fell asleep.
She woke up because her back was itching terribly. Then the Caterpillar began to rub against the walls of the cocoon. She rubbed and rubbed, rubbed right through them and fell out.
But she fell somehow strangely - not down, but up.
And then the Caterpillar saw the same girl in the same meadow.
"Horrible! - thought the Caterpillar. “I may not be beautiful, it’s not my fault, but now everyone will know that I’m also a liar.” I gave an honest assurance that no one would see me, and I didn’t keep it. A shame!" And the Caterpillar fell into the grass.
And the girl saw her and said:
Such a beauty!
So trust people,” grumbled the Caterpillar.
Today they say one thing, and tomorrow they say something completely different.
Just in case, she looked into the dew drop. What's happened? In front of her is an unfamiliar face with a long, very long mustache.
The caterpillar tried to arch its back and saw that large multi-colored wings appeared on its back.
Oh that's it! - she guessed. - A miracle happened to me. The most ordinary miracle: I became a Butterfly!
This happens. And she merrily circled over the meadow, because she did not give the butterfly’s honest word that no one would see her.
Magic word
V.A. Oseeva
A little old man with a long gray beard was sitting on a bench and drawing something in the sand with an umbrella.
. “Move over,” Pavlik told him and sat down on the edge.
The old man moved and, looking at the boy’s red, angry face, said:
- Did something happen to you? - Well, okay! “What do you want?” Pavlik looked sideways at him.
“I’ll go to my grandmother. She's just cooking. Will he drive away or not?
Pavlik opened the door to the kitchen. The old woman was removing hot pies from the baking sheet.
The grandson ran up to her, turned her red, wrinkled face with both hands, looked into her eyes and whispered:
- Give me a piece of pie... please.
Grandma straightened up. Magic word it shone in every wrinkle, in the eyes, in the smile.
“I wanted something hot... something hot, my darling!” she said, choosing the best, rosy pie.
Pavlik jumped for joy and kissed her on both cheeks.
"Wizard! Wizard!" - he repeated to himself, remembering the old man.
At dinner, Pavlik sat quietly and listened to his brother’s every word. When his brother said that he would go boating, Pavlik put his hand on his shoulder and quietly asked:
- Take me, please. Everyone at the table immediately fell silent.
The brother raised his eyebrows and grinned.
“Take it,” the sister suddenly said. - What is it worth to you!
- Well, why not take it? - Grandma smiled. - Of course, take it.
“Please,” Pavlik repeated.
The brother laughed loudly, patted the boy on the shoulder, ruffled his hair:
- Oh, you traveler! Okay, get ready!
“It helped! It helped again!”
Pavlik jumped out from the table and ran into the street. But the old man was no longer in the park.
The bench was empty, and only incomprehensible signs drawn by an umbrella remained on the sand.
Badly
V.A. Oseeva
The dog barked furiously, falling on its front paws.
Right in front of her, pressed against the fence, sat a small, disheveled kitten. He opened his mouth wide and meowed pitifully.
Two boys stood nearby and waited to see what would happen.
A woman looked out the window and hurriedly ran out onto the porch. She drove the dog away and angrily shouted to the boys:
Shame on you!
What's a shame? We didn't do anything! - the boys were surprised.
This is bad! - the woman answered angrily.
Which is easier?
V.A. Oseeva
Three boys went into the forest. There are mushrooms, berries, birds in the forest. The boys went on a spree.
We didn’t notice how the day passed. They go home - they are afraid:
It will hit us at home!
So they stopped on the road and thought what was better: to lie or to tell the truth?
“I’ll say,” says the first, “that a wolf attacked me in the forest.”
The father will be afraid and will not scold.
“I’ll say,” says the second, “that I met my grandfather.”
My mother will be happy and will not scold me.
“And I’ll tell the truth,” says the third. “It’s always easier to tell the truth, because it’s the truth and there’s no need to invent anything.”
So they all went home.
As soon as the first boy told his father about the wolf, look, the forest guard is coming.
“No,” he says, “there are wolves in these places.” The father got angry. For the first guilt I was angry, and for the lie - twice as angry.
The second boy told about his grandfather. And the grandfather is right there - coming to visit. Mother found out the truth. For the first guilt I was angry, but for the lie I was twice as angry.
And the third boy, as soon as he arrived, immediately confessed to everything. His aunt grumbled at him and forgave him.
good
V.A. Oseeva
Yurik woke up in the morning. I looked out the window. The sun is shining. It's a good day. And the boy wanted to do something good himself.
So he sits and thinks: “What if my little sister was drowning, and I would save her!”
And my sister is right here:
Take a walk with me, Yura!
Go away, don't stop me from thinking! My sister was offended and walked away.
And Yura thinks: “If only wolves attacked the nanny, and I would shoot them!”
And the nanny is right there:
Put away the dishes, Yurochka.
Clean it yourself - I have no time! The nanny shook her head.
And Yura thinks again: “If only Trezorka fell into the well, and I would pull him out!”
And Trezorka is right there. His tail wags: “Give me a drink, Yura!”
Go away! Don't bother thinking! Trezorka closed his mouth and climbed into the bushes.
And Yura went to his mother:
What good thing could I do? Mom stroked Yura’s head:
Take a walk with your sister, help the nanny put away the dishes, give Trezor some water.
sons
V.A. Oseeva
Two women were taking water from a well.
A third approached them. And the old man sat down on a pebble to rest.
Here's what one woman says to another:
My son is clever and strong, no one can handle him.
And the third is silent. “Why don’t you tell me about your son?” her neighbors ask.
What can I say? - says the woman. “There’s nothing special about him.”
So the women collected full buckets and left. And the old man is behind them.
Women walk and stop. My hands hurt, the water splashes, my back hurts. Suddenly three boys run out towards us.
One of them somersaults over his head, walks like a cartwheel, and the women admire him.
He sings another song, sings like a nightingale - the women listen to him.
And the third ran up to his mother, took the heavy buckets from her and dragged them.
The women ask the old man:
Well? What are our sons like?
Where are they? - the old man answers. “I only see one son!”
blue leaves
V.A. Oseeva
Katya had two green pencils. And Lena has none. So Lena asks Katya: 
Give me a green pencil.
And Katya says:
I'll ask my mom.
The next day both girls come to school.
Lena asks:
Did your mom allow it?
And Katya sighed and said:
Mom allowed it, but I didn’t ask my brother.
Well, ask your brother again,” says Lena.
Katya arrives the next day.
Well, did your brother allow it? - Lena asks.
My brother allowed me, but I'm afraid you'll break your pencil.
“I’m careful,” says Lena.
Look, says Katya, don’t fix it, don’t press hard, don’t put it in your mouth. Don't draw too much.
“I just need to draw leaves on the trees and green grass,” says Lena.
“That’s a lot,” says Katya, and her eyebrows frown. And she made a dissatisfied face. Lena looked at her and walked away. I didn't take a pencil. Katya was surprised and ran after her:
Well, what are you doing? Take it! “No need,” Lena answers.
During the lesson, the teacher asks: “Why, Lenochka, are the leaves on your trees blue?”
There is no green pencil.
Why didn't you take it from your girlfriend?
Lena is silent.
And Katya blushed like a lobster and said:
I gave it to her, but she doesn’t take it.
The teacher looked at both:
You have to give so that you can take.
On the rink
V.A. Oseeva
The day was sunny. The ice sparkled. There were few people at the skating rink.
The little girl, with her arms outstretched comically, rode from bench to bench.
Two schoolchildren were tying up their skates and looking at Vitya.
Vitya performed different tricks - sometimes he rode on one leg, sometimes he spun around like a top.
Well done! - one of the boys shouted to him.
Vitya rushed around the circle like an arrow, made a dashing turn and ran into the girl.
The girl fell.
Vitya was scared.
“I accidentally...” he said, brushing snow off her fur coat.
Did you hurt yourself?
The girl smiled:
Knee...
Laughter came from behind. “They’re laughing at me!” thought Vitya and turned away from the girl with annoyance.
What a surprise - a knee! What a crybaby!” he shouted, driving past the schoolchildren.
Come to us! - they called. Vitya approached them. Holding hands, all three merrily slid across the ice.
And the girl sat on the bench, rubbed her bruised knee and cried.
website represents the most short stories-masterpieces, which only exist on the Internet. Some of them fit into one sentence and the end of this sentence simply arouses great interest in the reader. Here are really worthwhile things that you will be interested in reading.
"I killed my grandmother this morning." With such a phrase, F. Roosevelt attracted the attention of his distracted interlocutor.
The ability to tell a lot in a few words, give food for thought, awaken feelings and emotions is highest degree language proficiency and highest level writing skills. And we have a lot to learn from the masters of brevity.
In this topic Office plankton put together a small but exciting collection of the shortest literary stories, demonstrating the talent of writers and their unique command of words.
* * *
Hemingway once made a bet that he would write a story consisting of only 4 words, capable of touching any reader. The writer managed to win the argument:
“Children's shoes for sale. "Unworn" (“For sale: baby shoes, never used”)
* * *
Frederick Brown composed the shortest scary story ever written:
“The last man on Earth was sitting in a room. There was a knock on the door..."
* * *
American writer O. Henry won a competition for the shortest story that has all the components of a traditional story - a plot, a climax and a denouement:
“The driver lit a cigarette and bent over the gas tank to see how much gasoline was left. The deceased was twenty-three years old."
* * *
Alan E. Mayer "Bad Luck"
I woke up with severe pain throughout my body. I opened my eyes and saw a nurse standing by my bed.
“Mr. Fujima,” she said, “you were lucky to survive the bombing of Hiroshima two days ago.” But now you are in the hospital, you are no longer in danger.
A little alive from weakness, I asked:
- Where I am?
“To Nagasaki,” she answered.
* * *
Jane Orvis "Window"
Ever since Rita was brutally murdered, Carter has been sitting by the window. No TV, reading, correspondence. His life is what is seen through the curtains. He doesn't care who brings the food, who pays the bills, he doesn't leave the room. His life is passing athletes, the change of seasons, passing cars, the ghost of Rita.
Carter doesn't realize that the felt-lined chambers have no windows.
* * *
The British also organized a competition for the most short story. But according to the terms of the competition, the queen, God, sex, and mystery must be mentioned in it. First place was awarded to the author of the following story:
“Oh, God,” exclaimed the queen, “I’m pregnant and I don’t know from whom!”
* * *
Larisa Kirkland "The Proposal"
Starlight Night. It's the right time. Romantic dinner. Cozy Italian restaurant. Little black dress. Luxurious hair, sparkling eyes, silvery laughter. We've been together for two years. Wonderful time! True love, best friend, no one else. Champagne! I offer my hand and heart. On one knee. Are people watching? Well, let! Beautiful diamond ring. Blush on the cheeks, charming smile.
How, no?!
* * *
A classic example of Spartan brevity comes from a letter from King Philip II of Macedonia, who conquered many Greek cities:
“I advise you to surrender immediately, because if my army enters your lands, I will destroy your gardens, enslave your people and destroy your city.”
To this the Spartan ephors responded in one word: "If".
* * *
Charles Enright "Ghost"
As soon as this happened, I hurried home to tell my wife the sad news. But she didn't seem to listen to me at all. She didn't notice me at all. She looked right through me and poured herself a drink. She turned on the TV.
At that moment the phone rang. She walked over and picked up the phone. I saw her face wrinkle. She cried bitterly.
* * *
Robert Tompkins "In Search of Truth"
Finally, in this remote, secluded village, his search ended. Truth sat in a dilapidated hut by the fire.
He had never seen an older, uglier woman.
- You - Really?
The old, wizened hag nodded solemnly.
- Tell me, what should I tell the world? What message to convey?
The old woman spat into the fire and answered:
- Tell them that I am young and beautiful!
* * *
Victor Hugo sent the publisher the manuscript of the novel Les Misérables with a covering letter:
«?»
The answer was no less laconic:
«!»
* * *
An elderly French woman won the competition for the shortest autobiography and wrote:
“I used to have a smooth face and a wrinkled skirt, but now it’s the other way around”
* * *
And in conclusion, Valery Bryusov’s famous monostich of 1895:
"Oh close your pale legs."
In this section of our website we have posted a variety of short funny stories. For lovers of stories and jokes, these funny stories are exactly what you need. It doesn’t take much time, it’s full of humor, and most importantly, it’s the only way to lift your spirits! Cool funny short stories- this is a kind of joke, but they are usually taken from real life, and sometimes it is in such stories that the cleverly twisted plot or the degree of comedy gives such turns that you laugh without stopping for several minutes.
We hope these are short funny stories will not only lift your spirits, but also encourage you to write your own funny stories, of which every person has quite a lot, if his memory is good. In any case, we will be glad to see you on the pages of our website one more time.
I remembered a story from my school childhood. There was a thin, weak amateur astronomer in our class, Andrei. Everyone who missed the mark had the honor of offending the calm and harmless “nerd.” Once during a physical education lesson (in the gym we had joint physical education, without separating men/women), the boys were doing pull-ups on the crossbar, and it was Andrei’s turn. The first bully of the class ran up from behind to the pulling up "nerd" and pulled down his pants along with his underpants... In complete silence, the girls' jaws slowly dropped, the boys got their first complexes... Nobody offended Andrei anymore.
I, like my older brother, am a former avid gamer. Only I always loved strategy games, and he liked adventure games. We went roller skating with him one day. He rushes ahead and says something, turning to me. Suddenly I see it going straight into the pit. Very deep. My then-childish brain couldn’t come up with anything better than to yell: “Space!!!” You know, he jumped...
Available in the Chita region mineral spring Cook. Naturally, the water from the source is bottled and sold. The name of the water is appropriate - “Kuka”... Late fall. Two o'clock in the morning. A little-visited stall. Sleepy salesman (woman about 45). Lonely buyer (male). The buyer, knocking on the window, waiting until it is opened, hands over ten rubles and says:
- Kuku!
The seller, not fully awake:
- Ku-Ku...
Buyer, insistently:
- KUKU!!!
Salesman:
- What, you were cuckooing at two o’clock in the morning?..
The ability to sell a product well is also an art. We went with some guys in China just to have dinner. Well, as usual, we decided to take one hundred grams. I approach the bartender:
- Three for a hundred! - And I lay out the money.
The bartender silently places three glasses and an unopened bottle of vodka on the counter.
- I asked for three for a hundred!
The guy’s answer at first plunged me into a state of mild euphoria, and then I realized that knowledge of Russian psychology increases the sales volume of people like him to the skies. He said:
- There will be some left, you can bring it back.
Well, how could she stay?
One day, the management of a large Western company decided to hold an attraction of unprecedented tolerance. Decided to organize a gay festival with representatives from all offices. An order came to the Russian office - to send 3 gays. Management thought hard. We called a meeting and started thinking. We came up with it. A decree was issued: the heads of three divisions that show the worst performance results for the current quarter will go to the gay pride parade. The company has never seen such production, sales, marketing, advertising, supply!..
At work, an employee says that her lover gave her a new one gold chain, but she doesn’t know how to explain her appearance to her husband. Everyone starts giving advice: like, say that a friend gave it to her, she bought it herself, they gave her a bonus at work, etc. One man advises: - Better tell me what you found. My wife, for example, recently found a gold bracelet. The guy somehow didn’t immediately understand why everyone was suddenly giggling...
Dacha, grandmother and granddaughter drinking tea. There is jam on the table, with ants crawling towards it from different sides. The girl, without thinking twice, crushed one. The grandmother puts pressure on the child’s pity:
- Lizonka, what are you talking about, how is this possible?! The ants are also alive, they hurt! They have children! Just imagine: they are sitting at home and waiting for their mother. But mom won't come.
Lisa (crushing another insect with her finger):
- And dad won’t come either...
A friend got tired of texting until 1 am every day. I wrote a program for a smart phone that automatically responds to all SMS: “Yes, my love,” “of course,” “very,” etc. - in any order. In the morning I saw 264 incoming SMS. The last one at 5:45 with the text: “When will you, bitch, fall asleep?!”
In the 9th grade (children are 14-15 years old) a routine medical examination was carried out at school, including by a gynecologist. For many girls this was the first time: everyone’s knees were shaking. A lady gynecologist of Balzac's age, to save time, asks more questions than examines. The question is the same for all 60 girls from four classes:
- Are you sexually active?
- How many years? - if the answer is positive
The lady was pretty tired.
Actually the story: my friend (P), gathering her will into a fist, approaches her aunt (T).
(T) - are you alive?
(P) -zhiiiiivvuuu (shaking with fear, having forgotten the essence of the question)
(T) surprised - How old?
(P) almost crying - fourteen fourteen...
I have a friend. Works at a computer company in a warehouse. And across the wall he has neighbors - a veterinary pharmacy. The doors are nearby, and therefore visitors often get confused. Yesterday he wrote to me in ICQ: “Today a man came and stood in the entire line! I waited until the clients took the printer, floppy disks, and some other crap... The guy eventually comes up and asks a question: “My horse is coughing... What should I do?”