I have long been attracted to the view of the world from the point of view of the teachings of Kabbalah - there is definitely something in it. And they also have a very interesting view of female-male relations, intelligent, I became acquainted with him through a book "Spiritual Rules of Relationships" , which accidentally fell into my hands (author Yehuda Berg, son of Philip Berg, founder of the Kabbalah Center and its current director, together with his brother).
Basic KABBALISTIC PRINCIPLES:
1. Like attracts like and opposites repel.
2. The woman is responsible for the success of the relationship
1. A man is a channel of light, and a woman is a vessel for light.
All people are vessels for Light, but in the Manifested Reality their functions are different. The structure of the male soul is such that it conducts and directs light. On the physical level, this is the desire for sex, on the spiritual level - the sharing of one’s light in order to fill a woman with it.
More than anything in a relationship, men want to make a woman happy and earn her love.
Structure female soul such is that her essence is in the infinity of light, so she can receive and redistribute the light emanating from a man. Hence the responsibility for the direction of his light, his energy.
A woman can give birth to a child: her body and psyche are designed for this.. A mother is much more important in raising a child than a father, and all men are born women. Therefore, a woman influences a man, and not vice versa, and therefore women have more responsibility in relationships.
2. A man cannot be the only source of a woman’s happiness.
A man needs a woman much more than she needs him, hence the rule “Hire slow, fire fast.”
An insufficient amount of Light in a woman’s Vessel is impossible!
“Hiring slowly” means carefully choosing a man for yourself, and not rushing into fusion (and dependence) without sufficient pre-contact (without having time to look closely) - very wise, especially considering that women are more affectionate and prone to merging.
“Firing quickly”—leaving a man without much hesitation if he is clearly unsuitable—is also wise, given that women tend to get stuck in the post-contact phase, unable to assimilate the experience.
And the very idea that a woman is inherently more self-sufficient instantly raises self-esteem and helps her to calmly choose for herself. the right man, in contrast to the very destructive Slavic idea “a man is sacred and there are few of them in general.”
3. A woman must protect her Light and never give it away in vain
The woman must resist her reactive desires, but the Opponent* makes her impatient. The method of behavior is resistance.
(*prototype of the god Mara in Buddhism, or the Devil in Christianity)
This is about some kind of effort to stay in pre-contact in order to remain whole and get in touch with your needs. Resistance here is a game based on awareness of one’s own value, with the goal of allowing a man to feel the value of a woman.
4. Never believe what a man says. Look what he does.
In the world of women, conversation is a way of exchanging energy, and in the world of men it is a way of conquest and advancement, only a tool to achieve results.
Having not found a way to transmit light into the world, an unhappy and lost man makes himself emotionally unavailable (TV, work, alcohol...).
This is the AREA OF CHANGE where they can always succeed when they feel unsuccessful in most other aspects of life (short-term success relieves stress). He is drawn into the sphere of betrayal by his Opponent (= egoistic force of reactive consciousness).
No comments here.
5. A woman should choose a man she can support.
A woman must love the way a man brings light into the world, because it will still not be possible to change him. Supporting a man's way of bringing light into the world connects a woman more deeply with the Creator.
To marriage or serious relationship worked, you must be ready to do everything for your partner, including leaving him.
Psychologist Harlan Hendricks.
It says very beautifully here about true partnerships: although a woman influences a man, she cannot change him! Trying to change each other is characteristic of codependent relationships based on guilt and resentment. Man and woman just perform different roles in partnership, but in the context of power in the relationship they are equal.
6. Attraction is based on karma
All people are spiritual partners who help us get closer to our Divine Potential. Such a connection in Kabbalah is called TIKUN (correction).
To meet your soulmate you must cross the ocean.
Rabbi I. Luria
We must undergo a spiritual transformation, often painful, accompanied by the destruction of the ego.
Even if we do not take into account the law of Karma, each person is attracted to another with similar psychological difficulties. People are intuitively drawn to those who can give them the opportunity to change. Sometimes this manifests itself in just the opposite way - such a person causes strong antipathy as a result of rejection of the projection (at the same time, interaction with negative projections is even more resource-intensive).
One way or another, if there are unfinished gestalts in a relationship with one of the relatives or from early relationship experience, a person will definitely choose as his partner exactly the one with whom he can go through a similar experience again.
7. Fear of rejection is an illusion.
The Light always loves us, which means the fear of rejection is an illusion of the Opponent.
Comments here are meaningless.
Thank you all for your attention and may your relationship be harmonious!
Rubric "Studying materiel." Today I want to suggest some reading. There are books that change your life better side. One of these is "Spiritual Rules of Relationships" by J. Berg.
There are great examples from life of how women who followed the laws described here improved their personal lives and found the happiness of being loved and loving.
When I first read it, I certainly agreed, but I didn’t put anything into practice. Apparently at that time I was not yet mature enough to understand some serious things. I recently read it again and looked at what was described with different eyes. The book seemed even more correct and relevant to me.
Yehuda Berg is a happy husband and father of five children, living in Los Angeles. He is a Kabbalist, but don't let that bother you. There are many useful things in Kabbalah, and many psychologists and philosophers refer to Kabbalah, not to mention international and domestic celebrities. I do not encourage anyone to seriously study Kabbalah (and I do not do this myself), I suggest taking advantage of some of its fruits and wise thoughts. A book about the relationship between a man and a woman. Many theses and rules echo modern psychological teachings; a lot is recognizable after women’s trainings.
The book helps you to know yourself, to feel your feminine power, spread your wings. Understand men what they need from us and how to treat them. He will tell you about the reasons for loneliness. About how to attract the “right” man. She will teach you how to behave with your husband if you are already married. Written in simple, modern, friendly language with a spiritual twist.
“The more you ignore the Light within you and look outside for happiness (even if it is a handsome guy with an MBA), the more empty and disappointing your life becomes.”. We hear this idea in lately more and more often, isn't it? At all women's trainings and in books they say the same thing.
"Every soul that comes into this world instinctively yearns for its other half, which was once separated as a result of the destruction of the Primordial Vessel. Every man has a missing aspect - a woman. And every woman has the missing aspect of her soul - a man." At first glance, there seems to be a contradiction between these two phrases. It seems like there needs to be a healthy balance between the two. Between “I’m happy myself, I don’t need anyone” and “I’m unhappy and I want to get married.” Apparently the feeling should be something like this: “I’m happy and at the same time I don’t mind getting married.”)))
“There is a point of view that the desire to find your soul mate is a need inherent primarily in a woman. Do not be fooled by such nonsense. A man experiences the same strong need for his soul mate.”. Hooray! This is good news.)))
"Why did the creator need to make our task so difficult? This task is associated with freedom of choice. If there were no doubts, if there was no force trying to deceive you every second, you would find your soulmate in 6 seconds. In approximately the same time all humanity would achieve endless happiness. However, it would not be deserved." It goes on to say that you still have to deserve to have a soul mate in order to feel its value in full.
"True love- not the reason for two people to marry. True love is a consequence. This is the net result many years hard work, effort and spiritual transformation. True love is a reward. It must be earned by both: husband and wife. "I know many will not like this) By the way, this same idea is in many sacred scriptures. And, by the way, the most happy marriages, which I personally know, were built on the same principle. Without unnecessary emotions, hormones and passions. In general, this thought changes the attitude towards marriage by 180 degrees. As someone who has been divorced twice, I’ll probably listen.
Here’s an interesting idea on how to understand that this is your soul mate: "Halves have the same spiritual goals. The same understanding of reality and the structure of the world. Their common goal is to share happiness without conditions with their other half and with the whole world."
“If you are busy taking care of others, then the Light will definitely take care of you.” . The Vedas say the same thing. O. Torsunov always says, if you want to get married, start taking care of the people around you.
"One of the main reasons why women are unhappy in relationships is because they don't understand that they are the ones in control of the relationship. You, the women, are general director company called Relationships. And just as you wouldn't leave your company in the hands of a six-year-old while you're on vacation, you shouldn't leave your relationship in the hands of a man. Managing relationships is not a man's responsibility. This is not his role at all. And if you expect him to fulfill this role, you will be disappointed in the relationship again and again." . The Vedas say the same thing. Please do not confuse this with the process of conquest. And carefully read the instructions contained in the book.
“So, for our pair of planets, for their happy flight, the same direction, altitude, speed and freedom from any coercion are necessary.” Here's the secret to a happy marriage.
“The truth is that a man needs you much more than you need him.” . This good news is further revealed and scientifically explained by the author.
“So, when will you meet the “right” man? When you stop worrying about whether you will meet him at all. When you are satisfied with your spiritual development, with the kind of person you are. When you focus on helping someone who needs it.” Now I remember the good old one Soviet film“Lonely people are provided with a hostel...” The heroine of N. Gundareva is a vivid positive example of this quote.
"A man desires someone who is led by love, not by fear and despair." This is accurate and empirically verified.
"My goal is to help you develop an inner consciousness that will encourage the right men and repel those who only want to exploit your energy." But we need exactly this effect!
“Men are attracted to women who respect their own Light, their own worth, their own uniqueness.” The theme of Light, its awareness and protection is described in detail in the book.
“What should you do if you notice the man of your dreams walking across the room at a party?” You will find out the answer to this question in the book. Intrigued?
I advise everyone to have this wonderful book in their home library. She will answer many of your questions and teach you a lot. There is also educational information there for married people.
Love and Light to everyone.)))
Basic KABBALISTIC PRINCIPLES:
1. Like attracts like and opposites repel.
2. The woman is responsible for the success of the relationship
We are on earth to rejoice and receive endless SATISFACTION, which is only possible by treating others with unconditional love and kindness - this is the secret to getting everything we want in life.
PICTURE OF THE WORLD
LIGHT, from the loneliness and desire of the observer, embodies Itself in the vessel of the manifested world, created from Itself (i.e. from Light). THE MANIFESTED WORLD, created in the image and likeness of Light, also strives for the observer, to convey the light, and therefore the duality of male and female arises (the Star of David).
Woman = vessel (receiver)
Man = light (filling).
At the same time, a woman in her nature is the light itself and the one who fills, because she gives the opportunity to give, and most importantly, this is the essence of the common mistake of CONSUMING women.
The world is divided into two parts: 99% (= Talbot's implicate reality) and 1% (= manifest reality).
The manifested reality is based on the selfishness of consumerism and in this contradicts the implicate, where everything is one and everything is light and love. By overcoming the egoism of consumerism in ourselves, we approach the implicate reality and strengthen our connection with it, our connection with the Light.
BUT! Any reaction is an act of receiving!
For example, a reaction to an impulse of need for attention (energy) from someone outside is relieved by developing one’s own energy and distributing it to everyone around who feels such a need, just like that, for nothing.
SIGNIFICANT OTHER
There are people in this world who can make you happy for a while. There are people who can give you endless happiness forever. In the same way, there are people in this world whom you can make temporarily happy, and there are others whom only you you can fill with joy forever, says J.B.
He says that this is not the work of one life and refers to I. Luria’s book “The Gates of Reincarnation”.
When a man comes into this world for the first time, his soul mate is born with him. And when the time comes for him to get married, he finds her instantly, without the slightest effort. But if this man committed a sin for which he came again into this world to correct, his soulmate will reincarnate with him. When it’s time to get married, a man can no longer easily and quickly find his soul mate; it is achieved only after overcoming serious trials. Because he reincarnated as a result of his sins, and there was some restriction from above for him, which hid her from him and provoked struggle and conflicts between them. That is why it is said that connecting them is as difficult as making the Red Sea part...
Rabbi Isaac Luria "Gate of Reincarnation"
OPPONENT
Every person has an inner OPPONENT who disrupts the connection with the true inner Self. The Opponent must be the cause of duality, the absence of light.
The Opponent's weapons are doubt and fear. It also encourages women to seek validation outside of themselves and hides from men the part of them that yearns to find and deserve their soul mate.
Suppressed doubts and fear are armor for the Opponent.
LOVE AND NEED
CONNECTION TO LIGHT
In each heart there is an endless ocean of Divine Energy, so nature is for each of the halves to have a single goal - to connect to this source within themselves, which completely removes selfish desire and dependence in relation to another person.
“If you are busy taking care of others, the Light will definitely take care of you.”
Any woman bears the KARMIC DEBT OF EVE (the separation of the masculine and feminine principles as a result of the fact that the desire to receive has prevailed over the desire to give), so the woman seeks the assessment and approval of her light from a man.
Y.B. says that in past times the woman has already corrected this karmic debt, but is not aware of it. Its main task is to help correct ADAM’s KARMIC DEBT, which is associated with victory over the Opponent.
SPIRITUAL RULES OF RELATIONSHIPS
1. A man is a channel of light, and a woman is a vessel for light.
All people are vessels for Light, but in the Manifested Reality their functions are different. The structure of the male soul is such that it conducts and directs light. On the physical level, this is the desire for sex, on the spiritual level - sharing your light in order to fill a woman with it.
More than anything in a relationship, men want to make a woman happy and earn her love.
The structure of the female soul is such that its essence is in the infinity of light, so it can receive and redistribute the light emanating from a man. Hence the responsibility for the direction of his light, his energy.
2. A man cannot be the only source of a woman’s happiness.
A man needs a woman much more than she needs him, hence the rule “Hire slow, fire fast.”
An insufficient amount of Light in a woman’s Vessel is impossible!
3. A woman must protect her Light and never give it away in vain
The woman must resist her reactive desires, but the Opponent makes her impatient. The method of behavior is resistance.
4. Never believe what a man says. Look what he does.
In the world of women, conversation is a way of exchanging energy, and in the world of men it is a way of conquest and advancement, only a tool for achieving results.
Having not found a way to transmit light into the world, an unhappy and lost man makes himself emotionally unavailable (TV, work, alcohol...).
This is the AREA OF CHANGE where they can always succeed when they feel unsuccessful in most other aspects of life (short-term success relieves stress). He is drawn into the sphere of betrayal by his Opponent (= egoistic force of reactive consciousness).
5. A woman should choose a man she can support.
A woman must love the way a man brings light into the world, because it will still not be possible to change him. Supporting a man's way of bringing light into the world connects a woman more deeply with the Creator.
For a marriage or serious relationship to work, you must be willing to do anything for your partner, including leaving him.
Psychologist Harlan Hendricks
When you are dear to a person, he will definitely answer you even to a message to which there is essentially nothing to say.
If he or she doesn't call, you just need to stop thinking about him. That's all you have to do. It's that simple.
6. Attraction is based on karma
All people are spiritual partners who help us get closer to our Divine Potential. Such a connection in Kabbalah is called TIKUN (correction).
To meet your soulmate you must cross the ocean.
Rabbi I. Luria
We must undergo a spiritual transformation, often painful, accompanied by the destruction of the ego.
7. Fear of rejection is an illusion.
The Light always loves us, which means the fear of rejection is an illusion of the Opponent.
FOUR STAGES OF RELATIONSHIP
1. " Honeymoon" Falling in love, the rush of energy, delight, intoxication with love - this is a free gift from the Universe that catches you on a hook.
2. “Taking off the rose-colored glasses.” The discovery of the first imperfection (he is, after all, a living person!) opens the path of struggle or the path of departure. In any case, this is an opportunity to become stronger and surpass yourself.
3. “The worst manifestations,” both on his and your part, stimulate heroism and the best manifestations, a test for readiness to transform your ego.
4. “Making a resolution.” Involves asking the question, “Is this relationship truly a reflection of the Light?” and the answer to it.
The highest goal is the desire to bring more Light into this world, a joint effort to achieve this goal.
Literature
1. Berg J. “The Power of Kabbalah”
2. Luria I. “Gate of Reincarnation”
It reads very easily and quickly. Again I am surprised how synchronically with Aghora and Talbot the picture of the world is outlined. The words and terms are different, but the essence is the same. Simple and well-known rules of relationships are expressed here in vague language in the categories of vessel and light.
Basic KABBALISTIC PRINCIPLES:
1. Like attracts like and opposites repel.
2. The woman is responsible for the success of the relationship
We are on earth to rejoice and receive endless SATISFACTION, which is only possible by treating others with unconditional love and kindness - this is the secret to getting everything we want in life.
PICTURE OF THE WORLD
LIGHT, from the loneliness and desire of the observer, embodies Itself in the vessel of the manifested world, created from Itself (i.e. from Light). THE MANIFESTED WORLD, created in the image and likeness of Light, also strives for the observer, to convey the light, and therefore the duality of male and female arises (the Star of David).
Woman = vessel (receiver)
Man = light (filling).
At the same time, a woman in her nature is the light itself and the one who fills, because she gives the opportunity to give, and most importantly, this is the essence of the common mistake of CONSUMING women.
The world is divided into two parts: 99% (= Talbot's implicate reality) and 1% (= manifest reality).
The manifested reality is based on the egoism of consumerism and in this contradicts the implicate, where everything is one and everything is light and love. By overcoming the egoism of consumerism in ourselves, we approach the implicate reality and strengthen our connection with it, our connection with the Light.
BUT! Any reaction is an act of receiving!
For example, a reaction to an impulse of need for attention (energy) from someone outside is relieved by developing one’s own energy and distributing it to everyone around who feels such a need, just like that, for nothing.
SIGNIFICANT OTHER
There are people in this world who can make you happy for a while. There are people who can give you endless happiness forever. In the same way, there are people in this world whom you can make temporarily happy, and there are others whom only you you can fill with joy forever, says J.B.
He says that this is not the work of one life and refers to I. Luria’s book “The Gates of Reincarnation”.
When a man comes into this world for the first time, his soul mate is born with him. And when the time comes for him to get married, he finds her instantly, without the slightest effort. But if this man committed a sin for which he came again into this world to correct, his soulmate will reincarnate with him. When it’s time to get married, a man can no longer easily and quickly find his soul mate; it is achieved only after overcoming serious trials. Because he reincarnated as a result of his sins, and there was some restriction from above that hid her from him and provoked struggle and conflicts between them. That is why it is said that connecting them is as difficult as making the Red Sea part...
Rabbi Isaac Luria "Gate of Reincarnation"
OPPONENT
Every person has an inner OPPONENT who disrupts the connection with the true inner Self. The Opponent must be the cause of duality, the absence of light.
The Opponent's weapons are doubt and fear. It also encourages women to look outside themselves for validation and hides from men the part of them that yearns to find and deserve their soul mate.
Suppressed doubts and fear are armor for the Opponent.
LOVE AND NEED
CONNECTION TO LIGHT
In each heart there is an endless ocean of Divine Energy, so nature is for each of the halves to have a single goal - to connect to this source within themselves, which completely removes selfish desire and dependence in relation to another person.
“If you are busy taking care of others, the Light will definitely take care of you.”
Any woman bears the KARMIC DEBT OF EVE (the separation of the masculine and feminine principles as a result of the fact that the desire to receive has prevailed over the desire to give), so the woman seeks the assessment and approval of her light from a man.
Y.B. says that in past times the woman has already corrected this karmic debt, but is not aware of it. Its main task is to help correct ADAM’s KARMIC DEBT, which is associated with victory over the Opponent.
SPIRITUAL RULES OF RELATIONSHIPS
1. A man is a channel of light, and a woman is a vessel for light.
All people are vessels for Light, but in the Manifested Reality their functions are different. The structure of the male soul is such that it conducts and directs light. On the physical level, this is the desire for sex, on the spiritual level - sharing your light in order to fill a woman with it.
More than anything in a relationship, men want to make a woman happy and earn her love.
The structure of the female soul is such that its essence is in the infinity of light, so it can receive and redistribute the light emanating from a man. Hence the responsibility for the direction of his light, his energy.
2. A man cannot be the only source of a woman’s happiness.
A man needs a woman much more than she needs him, hence the rule “Hire slow, fire fast.”
An insufficient amount of Light in a woman’s Vessel is impossible!
3. A woman must protect her Light and never give it away in vain
The woman must resist her reactive desires, but the Opponent makes her impatient. The method of behavior is resistance.
4. Never believe what a man says. Look what he does.
In the world of women, conversation is a way of exchanging energy, and in the world of men it is a way of conquest and advancement, only a tool for achieving results.
Having not found a way to transmit light into the world, an unhappy and lost man makes himself emotionally unavailable (TV, work, alcohol...).
This is the AREA OF CHANGE where they can always succeed when they feel unsuccessful in most other aspects of life (short-term success relieves stress). He is drawn into the sphere of betrayal by his Opponent (= egoistic force of reactive consciousness).
5. A woman should choose a man she can support.
A woman must love the way a man brings light into the world, because it will still not be possible to change him. Supporting a man's way of bringing light into the world connects a woman more deeply with the Creator.
For a marriage or serious relationship to work, you must be willing to do anything for your partner, including leaving him.
Psychologist Harlan Hendricks
6. Attraction is based on karma
All people are spiritual partners who help us get closer to our Divine Potential. Such a connection in Kabbalah is called TIKUN (correction).
To meet your soulmate you must cross the ocean.
Rabbi I. Luria
We must undergo a spiritual transformation, often painful, accompanied by the destruction of the ego.
7. Fear of rejection is an illusion.
The Light always loves us, which means the fear of rejection is an illusion of the Opponent.
FOUR STAGES OF RELATIONSHIP
1. “Honeymoon.” Falling in love, the rush of energy, delight, intoxication with love - this is a free gift from the Universe that catches you on a hook.
2. “Taking off the rose-colored glasses.” The discovery of the first imperfection (he is, after all, a living person!) opens the path of struggle or the path of departure. In any case, this is an opportunity to become stronger and surpass yourself.
3. “The worst manifestations,” both on his and your part, stimulate heroism and the best manifestations, a test of readiness to transform your ego.
4. “Making a resolution.” Involves asking the question, “Is this relationship truly a reflection of the Light?” and the answer to it.
The highest goal is the desire to bring more Light into this world, a joint effort to achieve this goal.
Literature
1. Berg J. “The Power of Kabbalah”
2. Luria I. “Gate of Reincarnation”