Resentment is an understandable and natural human emotion. We all sometimes get offended by someone or offend ourselves. Many relationships are destroyed due to resentment, many human destinies are broken precisely by this feeling.
Resentment is aggression that hurts not so much the offender as the one who was offended. After all, unspoken, unforgiven resentment eats away at the soul and can even cause harm to health.
According to psychologists, the ability to be offended appears in a person in childhood and accompanies us throughout our lives. At the same time, resentment is a normal emotion. It appears when something unpleasant happens to us. When life doesn't go as planned. If we are not prepared for an unexpected turn of events and do not know how to cope with an undesirable situation, then resentment arises - a defensive reaction of the psyche to unforeseen difficulties.
Why is it difficult to offend some people and easy to offend others?
As statistics show, all people periodically experience feelings of resentment, it’s just that some are more touchy and others less so. Why is this happening? Different people have different numbers of “pain points”: some have more of them and they are clearly expressed, while others have fewer of them and they are carefully hidden. You can easily offend a person by unknowingly hitting his sore spot. On the other hand, we should not forget that someone who seems to us not to be offended may in fact not be so, he is simply accustomed to accumulating all the resentment in the depths of his soul, sometimes without admitting it even to himself.The main causes of grievances and why a person is touchy
There are three main reasons that cause a person to resent others.The first reason for resentment is manipulation, and deliberate manipulation. A person deliberately “pouts his lips” to evoke in another. Most often girls do this when they want to get what they want from a man.
The second reason is the inability to forgive. Unfortunately, this is precisely what causes most grievances. If you look at this reason from the other side, then it can also be called manipulation, only unconscious. In this case, the person himself often does not understand why he was offended. I was just offended - that's all. But he knows very well how the offender can make amends for his guilt.
And the third reason for grievances is disappointed expectations. For example, a woman hopes that her beloved will give her a fur coat, but instead he gives her a large soft toy. Or does a person expect that difficult situation friends will offer help without any requests from him, but they do not offer. This is where resentment is born.
Mostly people become touchy under stress or in a quarrel with a loved one. Those who are in a state of serious illness are usually especially touchy: they are often offended not only by loved ones, but also by the whole world. This feeling is characteristic mainly of the elderly and people with severe disabilities. People who feel sorry for themselves and love themselves too much are often offended by everything. They can be upset by even the most harmless jokes or remarks made about them.
What is resentment and how does it happen?
We cannot get rid of resentment completely, since this feeling will be experienced by us at least sometimes. But we can control this emotion, although deep down we will still continue to feel hurt. If this were not the case, people would turn into insensitive dolls. But it should be remembered that in psychology there is such a concept as touchiness, that is, a tendency to constantly take offense at everyone and everything. You can and should get rid of touchiness. After all, it is no longer so much a feeling as negative trait character, undesirable state of mind.
Psychologists say that touchiness is a manifestation of our childhood ego. Even if a person is 40, 50 or 60 years old, deep down he may feel like a scared toddler or a rebellious youth. There is even an opinion that a child always lives inside an adult, and he can be either happy and joyful, or touchy and lonely. Fortunately, we will never be able to completely rid ourselves of this child in our soul. You just need to create the conditions in which it will be pleasant and comfortable for him to live.
However, in addition to the child who lives in our subconscious, an adult must live inside us at the level of consciousness, who will manage our feelings and life in general. Thus, an adult can, after a fleeting influx of emotions, calmly and judiciously continue the conversation, without being offended by the words of the interlocutor (even if they hurt him a little), and calmly talk about his feelings. For example: “I'm sorry, but your words hurt me. I hope you didn’t offend me deliberately.” After such a phrase, the interlocutor will most likely have a feeling of guilt and remorse, even if in fact he previously fully understood that he was offending you. However, more often than not we offend each other unconsciously, and if this happens, then it is better for the person who was offended to immediately express their feelings in a correct and polite form. Then many unpleasant situations will be instantly clarified, and you will not have any resentment left in your soul and you will be able to maintain good friendly relations with the person who unwittingly offended you.
But often, unfortunately, we do not want to listen to each other. We hear only ourselves and the “offended child” inside us. But if you respect your interlocutor and want to really stay with him good relationship, then you must definitely clarify the unpleasant situation that has arisen, even if the discussion causes you pain: this is the position of an adult, mature person.
To gain the ability to overcome grievances and resentment, you first need to learn to express your feelings. Very often people say this: “You are doing bad, you are offending me, you are driving me crazy,” that is, they blame it on their opponent. It’s much better to say: “It’s unpleasant for me when you do this, your words are offensive to me.” If we talk more often about how we feel at the moment, then we will begin to realize that we always experience some kind of emotion - this is very important to understand.
Also in psychology there is the concept of mental resentment. This is a resentment that never goes away, and a person is constantly offended by something. Perhaps some of our readers will be indignant and say that this cannot happen. But this, alas, is true. As we have already said, the tendency to take offense appears in childhood because adults pay attention to a child who blows his lips faster than to a child who is calm and content with what is happening. The kid understands very quickly: in order to be heard and paid attention to, you must always pretend to be offended. People with mental resentment, even in childhood, develop the habit of being constantly “humiliated and insulted.” Already as an adult, such a person begins to manipulate others, causing them to feel guilty.
Getting rid of mental resentment is quite difficult. This is already a feature, part of his life, but you can get rid of other types of grievances. This is what we will discuss further.
Consequences of frequent grievances
If a person does not engage in self-development and continues to be offended by everything, this can not only cause the development of all kinds of diseases (the so-called psychosomatic factor), but also lead to the loss of friends and permanent problems, even divorce. It is not for nothing that the Bible calls pride one of the most serious sins, because it is because of pride that a person is most often offended. Because of an unforgiven offense that eats away at the soul, a person can spend a long time mainly trying to take revenge on his offender, and coming up with various plans for revenge. This will occupy all his thoughts, and meanwhile he own life will pass by, and when he finally notices it, it may be too late.
Anyone who walks around with resentment in his soul gradually develops dissatisfaction with life, he does not notice all its charms and colors, and negative feelings eat away at his personality more and more. Then irritability, anger at others, nervousness and a state of constant stress may appear.
How to cope with resentment and stop being offended
- First, you must understand that often your offender has no idea that someone is offended by him, that he hurt someone. If you realize this, you will also understand that there is no point in being offended by a person who will never know about it. And if you want to clarify the situation, then you will have to tell him about your negative feelings. In the end, your resentment will pass one way or another.
- Chinese sages believe that resentment eats us from the inside, and a person who cannot forgive someone lives in constant stress and destroys his soul. So is it worth holding a grudge against someone, causing harm first of all to yourself? Try it and you will immediately feel relief.
- Try to take something useful for yourself out of an unpleasant situation. If a person offended you, it means that he touched your sore spot, told the truth in your face (after all, very often we are offended by the unpleasant truth). Try to understand why what was said hurt you so much, admit at least to yourself that there is some truth in the words of the offender, and thank him for saying unpleasant things to your face and not spreading rumors behind your back. This alone is worthy of respect, not offense.
- Always try to understand a person before getting offended by him. Perhaps he did it unconsciously, he simply behaves this way in principle. If a person is aggressive or rude, perhaps it is not about you at all, but about some of his life circumstances: maybe he is currently having problems at work or in his personal life. Taking out irritation on others, of course, is not good, but, alas, not everyone can resist this. So in such a case It is better for MirSovetov readers not to be offended by the rude person, but to try to help him or at least show sympathy.
- If I offended you stranger, with whom you will never meet again, you should not keep a grudge to yourself. Just forget about her, because nothing connects you with this person. If the offense was caused by a close friend or relative, then you cannot do without a frank conversation. But you need to start such a conversation only when you have cooled down and put your emotions in order.
- Very often people are offended that another person did not live up to their expectations. Understand that no one can read the thoughts of others, and if you want a person to act in a certain way, you need to ask him about it, and not wait until he himself guesses about your desire, and then be offended if this does not happen.
- If you can’t forget the offense, and all the persuasion that being offended is pointless and stupid does not help, then you should use the NLP technique. It usually works flawlessly. Take a piece of paper, write on it the name of the person you are offended by, and express everything that hurts you. Then re-read your list and burn it, imagining how your resentment and aggression burn along with the sheet.
- You can also take a piece of paper and write on it: “I forgive my friend, mother, father, etc. for the insults they inflicted on me (list all the insults).” Write this 70 times daily for 30 days, and gradually you will feel your resentment go away.
- Take a pillow or punching bag and imagine that it is your abuser. Express everything that is on your soul, hit or shout - in general, give vent to your resentment and aggression. Do this until you feel relief.
O bida is a natural human emotion. Everyone sometimes gets offended or offends someone themselves. Many relationships deteriorate and collapse due to resentment, many human hopes are destroyed by this feeling.
Why does the same action cause offense in one person, and only bewilderment in another? If you believe the statistics, then there are no people who do not feel offended at all. It’s just that some people are offended more often, and others less often. Why is this happening? Here everything is the same as with the pain threshold, different people have a varied number of weak points“, some have a lot of them and it’s easy to see them, while others have few and you can only see them by looking carefully. It is easy to offend any person if you know his sore spot. But you should not think that a person whom you have never seen offended is not touchy, because he can carefully hide his feelings and accumulate resentment, which can break out at any moment. After all, not everyone knows how to admit, even to themselves, their feelings.
What kind of offense is there?
We cannot completely free ourselves from strong resentment; we will experience this feeling at least sometimes. And we can control a harmful emotion, although deep down we will still continue to feel hurt. Without emotions, people would turn into emotionless dolls, unable to live as they live now. And resentment is far from the least of needed by a person feelings.
But you need to understand that in psychology there is such a term as touchiness, that is, a tendency to frequent grievances to everything around. There is no need for a person to be touchy, because it is not so much an emotion, but a bad character trait that can and even needs to be gotten rid of. Psychologists convince us that touchiness is a manifestation of our childhood “ego.” And touchiness is formed as a result of emotions and situations experienced in childhood. Even if a person is already well over 70, somewhere deep in his soul, he may feel like a frightened child or a zealous teenager. We often hear that inside every adult sits small child, and he can be either joyful and carefree, or angry and sad. To our joy, we will never be able to completely free ourselves from this child sitting deep inside us. And that’s right, we need it. Therefore, it is necessary to create and maintain those conditions that will help him live carefree and joyfully.
However, in addition to the child who lives in our subconscious, an adult, reasonable person must live at the conscious level, who will guide our feelings and life in general. Therefore, an adult, after a fleeting surge of emotions, can calmly and sensibly continue the conversation, without being offended by the words of the interlocutor (even if they hurt him) and calmly tell about his emotions. For example: “I’m sorry, but your words cause me pain and inconvenience. I hope you didn’t mean to offend me and it happened by accident.” After this phrase, the interlocutor may have a feeling of guilt and regret, even if the offense was caused intentionally. However, more often than not we offend each other without realizing it, and when this happens, it is better for the person who was offended to immediately show their feelings in a polite and respectful manner. Then the unpleasant situation will be instantly clarified, and there will be no resentment left in your soul and you will be able to continue communicating with the person who accidentally offended you in a friendly manner.
But often, unfortunately, we don’t even want to listen to each other. We pay attention only to ourselves and hear only the “offended baby” inside us. But if you value your relationship with your interlocutor and want to maintain trust, then you must explain and understand the unfortunate situation that has arisen, even if the discussion brings you unpleasant emotions: this is the position of a mature, reasonable person.
How to overcome resentment?
To learn to overcome grievances and eradicate touchiness from your character, first of all, you need to be able to correctly express your feelings and emotions. If a person is offended, he begins to blame his opponent for everything: “You offended me, you hurt me.” It would be more correct to say: “You are doing the wrong thing, it’s unpleasant for me, your words are offensive to me.” When a person is able to correctly express what he feels at the moment, then he is able to understand that emotions always exist in him. It is very important to understand this, and to realize that resentment is the same emotion that needs to be understood and accepted as calmly as necessary in a given situation.
In psychology, there is such a thing as mental resentment. This is a resentment that never goes away, and a person invariably gets “offended” by something. This is hard to imagine, but, alas, it happens. As we said earlier, the tendency to take offense arises in childhood because adults focus their attention on a child who “pouts his lips” and looks offended rather than on a child who is peaceful and content with what is happening around him. The kid quickly understands that in order to be heard and paid attention to more often, it is necessary to always pretend to be offended. People with mental resentment already in childhood form the habit of being constantly in a state of “deprivation.” And when becoming an adult, such a person learns to manipulate the people around him, causing them to feel guilty for any word spoken against the will of the “offended” person.
It is very difficult to free yourself from mental resentment. After all, it becomes a character trait, a part of a person’s life, and in this case you can apply for it, but you can and should get rid of other types of grievances.
You offended me, you didn’t see my tears
I laughed after you, my dear
You'll cry some more, you'll pay for everything
For someone else's farewell glance, for my peace.
(words from Natalia Senchukova’s song)
IN. :“Tell me, maybe your answer will help not only me. I offended you greatly loved one, I understand that she will not accept any apologies or explanations, and will never even talk again, What can be done on the spiritual, energy level , I myself do not hold any grudge or anger towards her, I completely accepted the situation, and I have suffered and will probably still bear retribution, But I don’t want her to have anger or resentment in her soul, I don’t want her resentment against me to make her feel bad, I want her to do well in life, so that she doesn’t have this burden. What can I do myself so that she doesn’t have this burden on her heart.”
The answer will be this: we cannot do anything for or for others, so as not to violate the free will of another person. In the word “offended or offended” there is a particle “sya”, that is, a person offends himself, because it is his choice to be offended, to offend himself. In any situation, we have a choice - how we will react to it, how much we can accept and forgive it. It all depends on our emotional reactions, which, as a rule, work unconsciously, according to familiar patterns and programs.
And of course the offender is tormented feeling of guilt and fear of falling under “retribution”.
I would like to tell Vladimir and everyone who finds themselves in such a situation that this life lessons Every person and it was not without reason that this girl (that is, it was no coincidence!) had such a situation in her life in the sphere of relationships. This is her lesson. There are laws of life and fate, and you can’t escape them.
Another facet is that we attract into our lives those people with whom we have certain tasks and similar patterns, vibrations, similar topics to solve. I have an audio about this “”, which talks about why we attract certain people into our lives and that most often the attraction goes through pain points, injury to injury.
So you both ended up in difficult situation, created by you earlier. Perhaps you have already been connected in the past and have not learned the lesson of forgiveness and guilt and other feelings, or your souls have not been connected before, but you have similar lessons, so this situation educational for both souls.
The second material on the site is a, which explains the mechanism of interaction of souls in painful relationships. A soul “forced” to cause pain to another for the sake of healing and out of love for him.
In this situation, I propose to look at it all from the following point of view - you must take responsibility for everything that has happened in your life and consider everything that happens as a creation of your mind. We are responsible for what happens in our lives.
Therefore, to answer the question “what can I do myself so that there is no burden on her heart,” I suggest the following - take the burden off yourself through the following actions and methods:
- Change your perspective on the situation and stop feeling guilty . Guilt is also not a good feeling, and if you continue to experience it (as well as shame), you will only make things worse for yourself and thereby create negative karma for yourself in the future. You will find yourself in a similar situation to work on yourself until you learn Forgive yourself and accept everything as it comes. Put right hand on the left side of the neck - the place where the neck meets the shoulder and repeat “I am not to blame for anything, I am not to blame.” Then place your hand on your forehead and say, “I forgive myself, I forgive this woman, and I forgive everyone.” Next, put your hand on the back of your head and say “I apologize for everything, voluntary or involuntary violation of the laws of the universe.”
- Write Letter of forgiveness me and that woman(surely, there is hidden aggression towards her because she was offended and turned away from you). Fill out for yourself, her and the situation - all this is described in the article about the method and there are also links to download the questionnaires. It is recommended to start with yourself and you can also write questionnaires about the situation.
- Experiencing each other strong emotions(and it doesn’t matter if they are of a positive nature, such as strong love or attachment, or negative, such as resentment, guilt, etc.) you create a strong energy connection, karmic connection, energy knots and ropes that drain your energy. Therefore, I recommend spending here ritual of cutting etheric threads (it’s on YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAnCopEg3gM). This is a very effective technique for disconnecting energetically and don’t be afraid, it does not break connections at all, this technique is good even for close people.
- A method of talking to the soul of another person A. If you can't physically ask for forgiveness and say whatever you want, you can do it mentally. To do this, you need to create an appropriate environment - a candle, an altar, meditation - and mentally imagine / invite the soul of another person to a conversation and tell it everything you want, all your feelings, thoughts, be sure to ask for forgiveness, explain why you did this. Then, again, mentally, you can imagine how each of you gives each other someone else’s energy and all energy connections are cut off - as in the ritual of cutting threads - you can imagine that you have a sword or scissors in your hands and you simply cut them like ropes. Then you send that person a stream of love from your heart and thank you for everything.
- Gratitude This is a separate chapter altogether, so I’m making it a separate point. Gratitude, love and forgiveness are the three pillars on which the world rests. Therefore, every day until your tense state of being guilty and offended passes, you can think about her and thank her.
- Ask God for forgiveness! Not hers.
- Give her a link to this article :)
There are many psychological techniques for working with emotional states– the essence of which is liberation from difficult emotions. And of course, you personally can only work with with their fortunes, as noted at the very beginning of the article. But the good news is that by working through your “cockroaches” and clearing your state of low-vibration emotions, you will help another person. You can cut your karmic knot by going through this situation correctly, that is, transforming all these energies not very well good quality into light and love, complete forgiveness and gratitude, that is, raising their vibrations. And then both souls will rejoice from the completed task. And her work is the personal work of her soul and her personal choices. But when you do all this work and feel improvement, it may happen that she herself will talk to you.
I had one like this personal experience- I once spent powerful meditation in which it was necessary to mentally talk with a person and let him go (essentially what I described above) - the next day this person got in touch, before that we had not communicated for a long time.
Of course, I cannot give all the methods within the framework of this article, but if you are interested, you can search for them on the Internet - it’s all there, whole books or brief descriptions methods.
For example, there is Sedona method , which is briefly described as follows:
The essence of the method is asking the right questions. You need to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. This may take you about 30 minutes.
There are only four questions:
- How am I feeling right now?
Focus on the problem that worries you and causes it negative feeling. Look deeply, enter into this problem and try to understand as accurately as possible what you feel and what thoughts are spinning in your head. Consider them like a scientist: separate one feeling from another, give each a name. This can be done out loud, or silently. After that, we take one feeling to work with.
- Can I accept this feeling?
You must decide for yourself whether you can and want to live with this feeling, whether you think that it has a right to exist. The answer may be different: “Yes” or “No” - it doesn’t matter, both answers are acceptable. Even if you say “No,” you can still let go of your feelings.
- Can I let go of this feeling?
It is very important to feel whether you can let go of this emotion, like a hand from a fist when you unclench it. The answer can be “Yes” or “No”, answer honestly what comes to your mind.
- Do I want to let go of this feeling?
The answer “I can” does not at all reflect that you want to do it. What will be best for you: keep this feeling or expel it from yourself. Do you want to get rid of it forever and be free?
If you answered “No” or find it difficult to answer, then ask a direct question: “What is better for me: to leave this feeling with myself or to free myself from it?”
If you answer “Yes, I want,” then immediately ask yourself the next question: “When?” Someone says “Now”, someone postpones the process until later. The answer can be anything, but it’s better to answer “Now” and do it.
You continue to ask these four questions in a circle until you can answer the first question: “Calmness, peace.” At this point your work is considered completed. For some people, one round of answers is enough. Others need to go through these issues several times, while for others, ten times is not enough.
The results of your practice may not be noticeable at first, but if you continue your work, you will feel that you are moving further each time. Because what you let go leaves you. Old grievances rise up more and more easily. The time will come when you will feel that your life has become easier and calmer. (description taken from siellon.com)
Eat Tapping Method or Emotional Release Technique , when certain points are tapped when talking about one’s problem (for example, to tapped feelings of guilt).
AND Ho'oponopono method , it's very simple. Described by Joe Vitale in his books. The name literally translates as “to correct a mistake”, “to do everything right”. You say just four phrases: “I love you. I'm very sorry (or I'm sorry). I thank you. I'm sorry."
Here is its description from the first site that came to Google’s attention: vahe-zdorovye.ru:
All history in the world is governed by two laws: Inspiration from God and Memory.
Difficulties originate in thoughts under the influence of memories of a negative nature, they become a factor in the occurrence of illnesses and disharmony. No mind can solve this problem on its own. Imprints of memories, programs, remain in the subconscious forever and are transmitted at the genetic level from one generation to another. They give instructions on how to act in a given situation.
Erasing negative information occurs through Forgiveness, as well as Love for the Creator, and We approach the final goal: achieving zero, i.e. freeing the mind from blocks. In this state, there are no restrictions and limits and everything develops the way We want, because We receive “hints” from the Universe.
How to Practice Ho'oponopono
Many people don’t know how to practice Ho’oponopono; the secret is to constantly say 4 phrases, which make up the formula for happiness:
"I love you"
"I'm really sorry"
"I'm sorry"
"I thank you"
In these magic words lies a recipe for clearing your memory, and it doesn’t matter whether you are aware of them or not, the main thing is repetition. The formula helps a person send signals of repentance, love and forgiveness, and the Creator helps by cleansing the subconscious, along with the conscious mind.
"I love you" this expression is ideal for approaching the state of “zero” through connection with the holy principle;
"I'm really sorry" this is a message of regret to the highest intelligence about the negative programs that have arisen;
"I'm sorry" a spell to help you forgive yourself;
"I thank you" a phrase that expresses gratitude for support in finding the best solution to the difficulties encountered.
Expressions should be applied not to the environment, but to yourself; this is the only way to love and develop yourself and, as a result, the world around you.
It’s better to start with one phrase that is relevant to you, repeat it for 10 minutes, you can do it in front of the mirror, turning to yourself. Then, try out loud without a mirror, after finishing, start pronouncing the second expression, etc.
Ho'oponopono technique
Used to cleanse relationships special equipment Ho'oponopono, the meaning of which lies in imaginary actions with others. Of course, this method will have a positive effect in real life, but, initially, this is one of the ways to work on yourself.
The point of healing is to imagine the individual with whom you have a negative relationship on stage and, at the same time, see how the source of Love flows above your head, then let this light through the crown into your body and imagine how it fills every cell of yours. And then release the source through the heart towards the stage. You should first make sure that the person is ready for treatment; mentally ask him about his readiness. Create a dialogue, ask for mutual forgiveness, and at the end, release him into the distance.
Do it through the page
Resentment is a problematic emotion that benefits no one. By being offended, a person equally torments himself and the source of his grievances. So what's the point of being offended?
But it would be so simple! In practice, we all get offended from time to time. Some are stronger, immersing themselves in the offense entirely, others - holding it inside and calming it down over time. When communicating with another person, you cannot proceed only from the position that since they are offended at you, then it is worse for the one who “sulks” and does not talk. In most cases, a person will scroll through the scenario of what happened in his head and look for excuses. Therefore, it is appropriate to apologize even when you really did not want to offend anyone, but “it just so happened.” This way you will save your personal energy resource and will not provoke unnecessary quarrels.
What to do if you are offended?
First, analyze how you contributed to the situation that left the other person feeling bitter and resentful. Perhaps you really are to blame. In order to resolve the situation painlessly, in most cases there is nothing easier than to approach and. We are all different, and therefore, when communicating with each other, jokes, remarks, barbs, and disdainful attitudes can be offensive. When a person is offended and does not speak, it means that you hurt him more than you thought. Figure out what the matter is, in the very essence of the offense; it often lies a little deeper than on the surface.
The example of a boss snapping at an excellent employee who spent the whole night preparing a report at his request is quite common. Yes, being offended at work is unprofessional, but a subordinate may harbor a subconscious resentment that will affect the future desire to perform duties. Often it is the people who are loyal to you who are offended. You could raise your voice, point out a flaw in front of everyone, scold them for some mistakes, but not move from the professional to the personal sphere. Resentment works in a similar way both in family and friendships.
Why do people get offended?
In society, each person receives his share of recognition and attention. If the work of a person or himself, as it seems to him, is not appreciated, then resentment begins to accumulate on a subconscious level. This is especially evident in people whom they tried their best to please and be useful.
If you were not noticed, then in adult life the compensation factor comes into play. You will want more attention, affection, warmth, confirmation of importance.
There is nothing wrong with this, but your behavior can provoke other people to make harsh statements.
For example, you ask why people are offended by you, but you yourself do not understand that with your desire to move forward and get a share of attention, you are turning everyone against you. If someone is offended and does not talk, then think, why is this happening? Are there really too many people gathered around? touchy people? You can apologize many times, but until you reconsider the reasons, you will find yourself in similar situations (even with different people).
What to do if your family is offended at you?
When it comes to relationships between a guy and a girl, between a man and a woman, then we need to consider situations in the context of all relationships. First, try to recognize the cause of the offense. Many guys don’t know what to do if a girl is offended and withdraws.
There may be several nuances here. First: there is a type of girl who believes that “everything is owed” to them. In your circle of friends you will probably find the most touchy one, and it’s a rare guy who doesn’t know a girl who is constantly offended by everyone. This is an insult for the purpose of manipulation, an incorrectly instilled, exaggerated sense of female dignity. In such situations, you can try to explain to the person that he is wrong, you can even apologize to smooth things over. sharp corners conflict. But continuing a relationship and close communication with such a person will not be easy. You will be putting out a fire of grievances and emotions for a long time.
What to do if a girl is seriously offended?
This will definitely be necessary. Perhaps you simply do not understand how to behave with such a person. This happens, for example, if you grew up in families with different income levels. She was from a wealthy family, and you were from a modest one. A girl may not understand why you don’t give luxurious gifts, work hard at work, and save money.
In such situations, only conversation will help. If a girl is interested in a positive outcome of the conflict, she will meet you halfway and try to smooth out the rough edges. However, remember that you could have made serious mistakes and seriously injured a person. There is no point in apologizing for the sake of decency; you have to admit that you did wrong.
What to do if a guy is offended?
Men perceive everything differently, and therefore in some situations they are not offended, but angry. The guy will not be offended if you tell him what to do in front of everyone - he will get very angry. Many girls do not understand this, but men believe that only children and women are offended. This is the main difference between the psychological perception of men and women.
However, what to do if the guy is seriously offended? This usually doesn’t happen because of trivial situations that girls are used to getting offended by. This may mean that you did not listen well to his requests and advice. Some women ignore calm conversation until it becomes louder. They are simply not able to recognize what their men want to convey to them, for whom “chewing” the situation does not mean solving it. As a result, the man becomes angry and endures, accumulating resentment, which subsequently flows into the end of the relationship.
What to do if you are offended?
Here we can draw a simple conclusion. If for some reason you are offended, then try to understand the situation and find out to what extent the offense is justified. Sometimes it's an attempt to manipulate, and sometimes sincere feeling, which you are not able to understand due to various factors (upbringing, everyday life and other factors), and the offended person cannot control. The winner will always be the one who first wants to figure it out, apologize and build a strategy for further building relationships.