This year, guys, I turned forty years old. So it turns out that I saw forty times Christmas tree. That's a lot!
Well, for the first three years of my life I probably didn’t understand what a Christmas tree was. Mannerically, my mother carried me out in her arms. And I probably looked at the decorated tree with my black little eyes without interest.
And when I, children, turned five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree was.
And I was looking forward to it happy holiday. And I even spied through the crack of the door as my mother decorated the Christmas tree.
And my sister Lelya was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl.
She once told me:
When I was little, I really loved ice cream.
Of course, I still love him. But then it was something special - I loved ice cream so much.
And when, for example, an ice cream man was driving down the street with his cart, I just started to feel dizzy: I wanted so much to eat what the ice cream man was selling.
And my sister Lelya also exclusively loved ice cream.
I had a grandmother. And she loved me very dearly.
She came to visit us every month and gave us toys. And in addition, she brought with her a whole basket of cakes.
Of all the cakes, she let me choose the one I liked.
But my grandmother didn’t really like my older sister Lelya. And she didn't let her choose the cakes. She herself gave her whatever she needed. And because of this, my sister Lelya whined every time and was more angry with me than with her grandmother.
One fine summer day, my grandmother came to our dacha.
She has arrived at the dacha and is walking through the garden. She has a basket of cakes in one hand and a purse in the other.
I studied for a very long time. There were still gymnasiums back then. And the teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They gave any score - from five to one inclusive.
And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.
And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months I literally walked around in a fog.
And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:
The moon shines merrily over the village,
White snow sparkles with blue light...
My parents loved me very dearly when I was little. And they gave me many gifts.
But when I got sick with something, my parents literally bombarded me with gifts.
And for some reason I got sick very often. Mainly mumps or sore throat.
And my sister Lelya almost never got sick. And she was jealous that I got sick so often.
She said:
Just wait, Minka, I too will somehow fall ill, and then our parents will probably start buying me everything.
But, as luck would have it, Lelya was not ill. And only once, putting a chair by the fireplace, she fell and broke her forehead. She groaned and groaned, but instead of the expected gifts, she received several spanks from our mother, because she put a chair near the fireplace and wanted to get her mother’s watch, and this was forbidden.
One day Lelya and I took a box of chocolates and put a frog and a spider in it.
Then we wrapped this box in clean paper, tied it with a chic blue ribbon and placed this package on the panel facing our garden. It was as if someone was walking and lost their purchase.
Having placed this package near the cabinet, Lelya and I hid in the bushes of our garden and, choking with laughter, began to wait for what would happen.
And here comes a passerby.
When he sees our package, he, of course, stops, rejoices and even rubs his hands with pleasure. Of course: he found a box of chocolates - this doesn’t happen very often in this world.
With bated breath, Lelya and I watch what will happen next.
The passerby bent down, took the package, quickly untied it and, seeing the beautiful box, became even more happy.
When I was six years old, I did not know that the Earth is spherical.
But Styopka, the owner’s son, with whose parents we lived at the dacha, explained to me what land was. He said:
The earth is a circle. And if you go straight, you can go around the entire Earth and still end up in the very place you came from.
When I was little, I really loved having dinner with adults. And my sister Lelya also loved such dinners no less than me.
Firstly, a variety of food was placed on the table. And this aspect of the matter especially seduced Lelya and me.
Secondly, adults always told interesting facts from your life. And this amused Lelya and me.
Of course, the first time we were quiet at the table. But then they became bolder. Lelya began to interfere in conversations. She chattered endlessly. And I also sometimes inserted my comments.
Our remarks made the guests laugh. And at first mom and dad were even pleased that the guests saw such our intelligence and such our development.
But then this is what happened at one dinner.
Dad's boss started telling some story incredible story about how he saved a fireman.
Petya was not like that little boy. He was four years old. But his mother considered him a very tiny child. She spoon-fed him, took him for walks by the hand, and dressed him herself in the morning.
One day Petya woke up in his bed. And his mother began to dress him. So she dressed him and put him on his legs near the bed. But Petya suddenly fell. Mom thought he was being naughty and put him back on his feet. But he fell again. Mom was surprised and placed it near the crib for the third time. But the child fell again.
Mom got scared and called dad at the service on the phone.
She told dad:
Come home quickly. Something happened to our boy - he can’t stand on his legs.
When the war began, Kolya Sokolov could count to ten. Of course, it’s not enough to count to ten, but there are children who can’t even count to ten.
For example, I knew one little girl Lyalya who could only count to five. And how did she count? She said: “One, two, four, five.” And I missed “three”. Is this a bill? This is downright ridiculous.
No, it is unlikely that such a girl will become a scientist or a mathematics professor in the future. Most likely, she will be a domestic worker or a junior janitor with a broom. Since she's so incapable of numbers.
Works are divided into pagesZoshchenko's stories
When in distant years Mikhail Zoshchenko wrote his famous children's stories, then he was not at all thinking about the fact that everyone would laugh at the cocky boys and girls. The writer wanted to help children become good people. Series " Zoshchenko's stories for children"corresponds to the school curriculum of literary education for the lower grades of the school. It is primarily addressed to children who are between the ages of seven and eleven years and includes Zoshchenko's stories various topics, trends and genres.
Here we have collected wonderful children's stories by Zoshchenko, read which is a great pleasure, because Mikhail Mahailovich was a true master of words. M. Zoshchenko's stories are filled with kindness; the writer was unusually able to portray children's characters, the atmosphere of the most youth filled with naivety and purity.
This year, guys, I turned forty years old. This means that I have seen the New Year tree forty times. That's a lot!
Well, for the first three years of my life I probably didn’t understand what a Christmas tree was. Mannerically, my mother carried me out in her arms. And I probably looked at the decorated tree with my black little eyes without interest.
And when I, children, turned five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree was.
And I was looking forward to this joyful holiday. And I even spied through the crack of the door as my mother decorated the Christmas tree.
And my sister Lelya was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl.
She once told me:
When I was little, I really loved ice cream.
Of course, I still love him. But then it was something special - I loved ice cream so much.
And when, for example, an ice cream man was driving down the street with his cart, I just started to feel dizzy: I wanted so much to eat what the ice cream man was selling.
And my sister Lelya also exclusively loved ice cream.
I had a grandmother. And she loved me very dearly.
She came to visit us every month and gave us toys. And in addition, she brought with her a whole basket of cakes.
Of all the cakes, she let me choose the one I liked.
But my grandmother didn’t really like my older sister Lelya. And she didn't let her choose the cakes. She herself gave her whatever she needed. And because of this, my sister Lelya whined every time and was more angry with me than with her grandmother.
One fine summer day, my grandmother came to our dacha.
She has arrived at the dacha and is walking through the garden. She has a basket of cakes in one hand and a purse in the other.
I studied for a very long time. There were still gymnasiums back then. And the teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They gave any score - from five to one inclusive.
And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.
And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months I literally walked around in a fog.
And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:
The moon shines merrily over the village,
White snow sparkles with blue light...
My parents loved me very dearly when I was little. And they gave me many gifts.
But when I got sick with something, my parents literally bombarded me with gifts.
And for some reason I got sick very often. Mainly mumps or sore throat.
And my sister Lelya almost never got sick. And she was jealous that I got sick so often.
She said:
Just wait, Minka, I too will somehow fall ill, and then our parents will probably start buying me everything.
But, as luck would have it, Lelya was not ill. And only once, putting a chair by the fireplace, she fell and broke her forehead. She groaned and groaned, but instead of the expected gifts, she received several spanks from our mother, because she put a chair near the fireplace and wanted to get her mother’s watch, and this was forbidden.
One day Lelya and I took a box of chocolates and put a frog and a spider in it.
Then we wrapped this box in clean paper, tied it with a chic blue ribbon and placed this package on the panel facing our garden. It was as if someone was walking and lost their purchase.
Having placed this package near the cabinet, Lelya and I hid in the bushes of our garden and, choking with laughter, began to wait for what would happen.
And here comes a passerby.
When he sees our package, he, of course, stops, rejoices and even rubs his hands with pleasure. Of course: he found a box of chocolates - this doesn’t happen very often in this world.
With bated breath, Lelya and I watch what will happen next.
The passerby bent down, took the package, quickly untied it and, seeing the beautiful box, became even more happy.
When I was six years old, I did not know that the Earth is spherical.
But Styopka, the owner’s son, with whose parents we lived at the dacha, explained to me what land was. He said:
The earth is a circle. And if you go straight, you can go around the entire Earth and still end up in the very place you came from.
When I was little, I really loved having dinner with adults. And my sister Lelya also loved such dinners no less than me.
Firstly, a variety of food was placed on the table. And this aspect of the matter especially seduced Lelya and me.
Secondly, the adults always told interesting facts from their lives. And this amused Lelya and me.
Of course, the first time we were quiet at the table. But then they became bolder. Lelya began to interfere in conversations. She chattered endlessly. And I also sometimes inserted my comments.
Our remarks made the guests laugh. And at first mom and dad were even pleased that the guests saw such our intelligence and such our development.
But then this is what happened at one dinner.
Dad's boss began to tell some incredible story about how he saved a fireman.
Petya was not such a little boy. He was four years old. But his mother considered him a very tiny child. She spoon-fed him, took him for walks by the hand, and dressed him herself in the morning.
One day Petya woke up in his bed. And his mother began to dress him. So she dressed him and put him on his legs near the bed. But Petya suddenly fell. Mom thought he was being naughty and put him back on his feet. But he fell again. Mom was surprised and placed it near the crib for the third time. But the child fell again.
Mom got scared and called dad at the service on the phone.
She told dad:
Come home quickly. Something happened to our boy - he can’t stand on his legs.
When the war began, Kolya Sokolov could count to ten. Of course, it’s not enough to count to ten, but there are children who can’t even count to ten.
For example, I knew one little girl Lyalya who could only count to five. And how did she count? She said: “One, two, four, five.” And I missed “three”. Is this a bill? This is downright ridiculous.
No, it is unlikely that such a girl will become a scientist or a mathematics professor in the future. Most likely, she will be a domestic worker or a junior janitor with a broom. Since she's so incapable of numbers.
Works are divided into pagesZoshchenko's stories
When in distant years Mikhail Zoshchenko wrote his famous children's stories, then he was not at all thinking about the fact that everyone would laugh at the cocky boys and girls. The writer wanted to help children become good people. Series " Zoshchenko's stories for children"corresponds to the school curriculum of literary education for the lower grades of the school. It is primarily addressed to children who are between the ages of seven and eleven years and includes Zoshchenko's stories various topics, trends and genres.
Here we have collected wonderful children's stories by Zoshchenko, read which is a great pleasure, because Mikhail Mahailovich was a true master of words. M. Zoshchenko's stories are filled with kindness; the writer unusually vividly managed to depict children's characters, the atmosphere of the youngest years, filled with naivety and purity.
Lelya and Minka
Stories for children
M. Zoshchenko
1. TREE
This year, guys, I turned forty years old. This means that I have seen the New Year tree forty times. That's a lot!
Well, for the first three years of my life, I probably didn’t understand what a Christmas tree was. My mother probably carried me in her arms. And, probably, with my black little eyes I looked without interest at the decorated tree.
And when I, children, turned five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree was.
And I was looking forward to this joyful holiday. And I even spied through the crack of the door as my mother decorated the Christmas tree.
And my sister Lela was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl.
She once told me:
- Minka, mom went to the kitchen. Let's go to the room where the tree is and see what's going on there.
So my sister Lelya and I entered the room. And we see: very beautiful Christmas tree. And there are gifts under the tree. And on the tree there are multi-colored beads, flags, lanterns, golden nuts, lozenges and Crimean apples.
My sister Lelya says:
- Let's not look at the gifts. Instead, let's eat one lozenge at a time.
And so she approaches the tree and instantly eats one lozenge hanging on a thread.
I speak:
- Lelya, if you ate a lozenge, then I’ll eat something too now.
And I go up to the tree and bite off a small piece of apple.
Lelya says:
- Minka, if you took a bite of the apple, then I’ll now eat another lozenge and, in addition, I’ll take this candy for myself.
And Lelya was a very tall, long-knitted girl. And she could reach high.
She stood on her tiptoes and began to eat the second lozenge with her big mouth.
And I was amazing short. And it was almost impossible for me to get anything except one apple that hung low.
I speak:
- If you, Lelishcha, ate the second lozenge, then I will bite off this apple again.
And I again take this apple with my hands and again bite it a little.
Lelya says:
“If you took a second bite of the apple, then I won’t stand on ceremony any more and will now eat the third lozenge and, in addition, I’ll take a cracker and a nut as a souvenir.”
Then I almost started crying. Because she could reach everything, but I couldn’t.
I tell her:
“And I, Lelishcha, how will I put a chair by the tree and how will I get myself something besides an apple?”
And so I began to pull a chair towards the tree with my thin hands. But the chair fell on me. I wanted to pick up a chair. But he fell again. And straight for gifts.
Lelya says:
- Minka, it seems you broke the doll. This is true. You took the porcelain hand from the doll.
Then my mother’s steps were heard, and Lelya and I ran into another room.
Lelya says:
“Now, Minka, I can’t guarantee that your mother won’t put up with you.”
I wanted to roar, but at that moment the guests arrived. Many children with their parents.
And then our mother lit all the candles on the tree, opened the door and said:
- Everyone come in.
And all the children entered the room where the Christmas tree stood.
Our mom says:
- Now let each child come to me, and I will give each one a toy and a treat.
And so the children began to approach our mother. And she gave everyone a toy. Then she took an apple, a lozenge and a candy from the tree and also gave it to the child.
And all the children were very happy. Then my mother took in her hands the apple that I had bitten off and said:
- Lelya and Minka, come here. Which of you two took a bite of this apple?
Lelya said:
- This is Minka’s work.
I pulled Lelya’s pigtail and said:
- Lelka taught me this.
Mom says:
“I’ll put Lelya in the corner with her nose, and I wanted to give you a wind-up little train.” But now I will give this winding little train to the boy to whom I wanted to give the bitten apple.
And she took the train and gave it to one four-year-old boy. And he immediately began to play with him.
And I got angry at this boy and hit him on the hand with a toy. And he roared so desperately that his own mother took him in her arms and said:
- From now on, I will not come to visit you with my boy.
And I said:
- You can leave, and then the train will remain for me.
And that mother was surprised at my words and said:
- Your boy will probably be a robber.
And then my mother took me in her arms and said to that mother:
“Don’t you dare talk about my boy like that.” Better leave with your scrofulous child and never come to us again.
And that mother said:
- I will do so. Hanging around with you is like sitting in nettles.
And then another, third mother, said:
- And I will leave too. My girl didn't deserve to be given a doll with a broken arm.
And my sister Lelya shouted:
“You can also leave with your scrofulous child.” And then the doll with the broken arm will be left to me.
And then I, sitting in my mother’s arms, shouted:
- In general, you can all leave, and then all the toys will remain for us.
And then all the guests began to leave.
And our mother was surprised that we were left alone.
But suddenly our dad entered the room.
He said:
“This kind of upbringing is ruining my children.” I don't want them to fight, quarrel and kick guests out. It will be difficult for them to live in the world, and they will die alone.
And dad went to the tree and put out all the candles. Then he said:
- Go to bed immediately. And tomorrow I will give all the toys to the guests.
And now, guys, thirty-five years have passed since then, and I still remember this tree well.
And in all these thirty-five years, I, children, have never again eaten someone else’s apple and never once hit someone who is weaker than me. And now the doctors say that this is why I am so relatively cheerful and good-natured.
2. GALOSHE AND ICE CREAM
When I was little, I really loved ice cream.
Of course, I still love him. But then it was something special - I loved ice cream so much.
And when, for example, an ice cream man was driving down the street with his cart, I just started to feel dizzy: I wanted so much to eat what the ice cream man was selling.
And my sister Lelya also exclusively loved ice cream.
And she and I dreamed that when we grew up big, we would eat ice cream at least three, or even four times a day.
But at that time we very rarely ate ice cream. Our mother did not allow us to eat it. She was afraid that we would catch a cold and get sick. And for this reason she did not give us money for ice cream.
And then one summer Lelya and I were walking in our garden. And Lelya found a galosh in the bushes. An ordinary rubber galosh. And very worn and torn. Someone must have thrown it because it burst.
So Lelya found this galosh and put it on a stick for fun. And he walks around the garden, waving this stick over his head.
Suddenly a rag picker walks down the street. He shouts: “I’m buying bottles, cans, rags!”
Seeing that Lelya was holding a galosh on a stick, the rag picker said to Lelya:
- Hey, girl, are you selling galoshes?
Lelya thought it was some kind of game and answered the rag picker:
- Yes, I’m selling. This galosh costs a hundred rubles.
The rag picker laughed and said:
- No, one hundred rubles is too expensive for this galosh. But if you want, girl, I’ll give you two kopecks for it, and you and I will part as friends.
And with these words, the rag picker pulled out his wallet from his pocket, gave Lela two kopecks, put our torn galosh into his bag and left.
Lelya and I realized that this was not a game, but in reality. And they were very surprised.
The rag picker has long since left, and we stand and look at our coin.
Suddenly an ice cream man walks down the street and shouts:
- Strawberry ice cream!
Lelya and I ran to the ice cream man, bought two scoops from him for a penny, ate them instantly and began to regret that we had sold the galoshes so cheaply.
The next day Lelya says to me:
- Minka, today I decided to sell another galosh to the rag picker.
I was delighted and said:
- Lelya, did you find a galosh in the bushes again?
Lelya says:
“There’s nothing else in the bushes.” But in our hallway there are probably, I think, at least fifteen galoshes. If we sell one, it won’t hurt us.
And with these words, Lelya ran to the dacha and soon appeared in the garden with one rather good and almost new galosh.
Lelya said:
“If a rag picker bought from us for two kopecks the same kind of rags that we sold him last time, then for this almost brand new galosh he will probably give at least a ruble.” I can imagine how much ice cream I could buy with that money.
We waited a whole hour for the rag picker to appear, and when we finally saw him, Lelya said to me:
- Minka, this time you sell your galoshes. You are a man, and you are talking to a rag picker. Otherwise he’ll give me two kopecks again. And this is too little for you and me.
I put a galosh on the stick and began to wave the stick over my head.
The rag picker approached the garden and asked:
- Are galoshes on sale again?
I whispered barely audibly:
- For sale.
The rag picker, examining the galoshes, said:
- What a pity, children, that you sell me everything one overshoe at a time. I'll give you a penny for this one galosh. And if you sold me two galoshes at once, you would receive twenty, or even thirty kopecks. Because two galoshes are immediately more necessary for people. And this makes them jump in price.
Lelya told me:
- Minka, run to the dacha and bring another galosh from the hallway.
I ran home and soon brought some very large galoshes.
The rag picker put these two galoshes side by side on the grass and, sighing sadly, said:
- No, children, you are completely upsetting me with your trading. One is a lady's galosh, the other is from a man's foot, judge for yourself: what do I need such galoshes for? I wanted to give you a penny for one galosh, but having put two galoshes together, I see that this will not happen, since the matter has worsened from the addition. Get four kopecks for two galoshes, and we will part as friends.
Lelya wanted to run home to bring some more galoshes, but at that moment her mother’s voice was heard. It was my mother who called us home, because my mother’s guests wanted to say goodbye to us. The rag picker, seeing our confusion, said:
- So, friends, for these two galoshes you could get four kopecks, but instead you will get three kopecks, since I deduct one kopeck for wasting time on empty conversation with children.
The rag picker gave Lela three kopeck coins and, hiding the galoshes in a bag, left.
Lelya and I immediately ran home and began to say goodbye to my mother’s guests: Aunt Olya and Uncle Kolya, who were already getting dressed in the hallway.
Suddenly Aunt Olya said:
- What a strange thing! One of my galoshes is here, under the hanger, but for some reason the second one is missing.
Lelya and I turned pale. And they stood motionless.
Aunt Olya said:
“I remember very well that I came in two galoshes.” And now there is only one, and where the second one is is unknown.
Uncle Kolya, who was also looking for his galoshes, said:
- What nonsense is in the sieve! I also remember very well that I came in two galoshes, however, my second galoshes are also missing.
Hearing these words, Lelya, out of excitement, unclenched her fist in which she had money, and three kopeck coins fell to the floor with a clang.
Dad, who also saw off the guests, asked:
- Lelya, where did you get this money?
Lelya started to lie something, but dad said:
- What could be worse than a lie!
Then Lelya began to cry. And I cried too. And we said:
— We sold two galoshes to a rag picker to buy ice cream.
Dad said:
- Worse than a lie is what you did.
Hearing that the galoshes were sold to a rag picker, Aunt Olya turned pale and began to stagger. And Uncle Kolya also staggered and grabbed his heart with his hand. But dad told them:
- Don’t worry, Aunt Olya and Uncle Kolya, I know what we need to do so that you are not left without galoshes. I’ll take all Lelin’s and Minka’s toys, sell them to the rag picker, and with the money we get we’ll buy you new galoshes.
Lelya and I roared when we heard this verdict. But dad said:
- That's not all. For two years I have forbidden Lela and Minka from eating ice cream. And two years later they can eat it, but every time they eat ice cream, let them remember this sad story.
That same day, dad collected all our toys, called a rag picker and sold him everything we had. And with the money received, our father bought galoshes for Aunt Olya and Uncle Kolya.
And now, children, many years have passed since then. For the first two years, Lelya and I really never ate ice cream. And then we began to eat it, and every time we ate it, we involuntarily remembered what happened to us.
And even now, children, when I have become quite an adult and even a little old, even now, sometimes, when eating ice cream, I feel some kind of tightness and some kind of awkwardness in my throat. And at the same time, every time, out of my childhood habit, I think: “Did I deserve this sweet, did I lie or deceive someone?”
Nowadays, many people eat ice cream, because we have entire huge factories in which this pleasant dish is made.
Thousands of people and even millions eat ice cream, and I, children, would really like all people, when eating ice cream, to think about what I think about when I eat this sweet thing.
3. GRANDMOTHER’S GIFT
I had a grandmother. And she loved me very dearly.
She came to visit us every month and gave us toys. And in addition, she brought with her a whole basket of cakes.
Of all the cakes, she let me choose the one I liked.
But my grandmother didn’t really like my older sister Lelya. And she didn't let her choose the cakes. She herself gave her whatever she needed. And because of this, my sister Lelya whined every time and was more angry with me than with her grandmother.
One fine summer day, my grandmother came to our dacha.
She has arrived at the dacha and is walking through the garden. She has a basket of cakes in one hand and a purse in the other.
And Lelya and I ran up to my grandmother and greeted her. And we were sad to see that this time, apart from cakes, grandma didn’t bring us anything.
And then my sister Lelya said to her grandmother:
- Grandma, didn’t you bring us anything besides cakes today?
And my grandmother got angry with Lelya and answered her like this:
- I brought it. But I won’t give it to the ill-mannered person who asks so openly about it. The gift will be received by the well-bred boy Minya, who is better than anyone in the world thanks to his tactful silence.
And with these words, my grandmother told me to extend my hand. And on my palm she put ten new coins of ten kopecks.
And here I stand like a fool and look with delight at the brand new coins that lie in my palm. And Lelya also looks at these coins. And he doesn't say anything. Only her eyes sparkle with an evil light.
Grandma admired me and went to drink tea.
And then Lelya hit my hand with force from the bottom up, so that all my coins jumped on my palm and fell into the grass and into the ditch.
And I sobbed so loudly that all the adults came running - dad, mom and grandma. And they all immediately bent down and began to look for my fallen coins.
And when all the coins were collected except one, the grandmother said:
“You see how rightly I did that I didn’t give Lelka a single coin!” What an envious person she is. “If,” he thinks, “it’s not for me, then it’s not for him!” Where, by the way, is this villainess at the moment?
To avoid being beaten, Lelya, it turns out, climbed a tree and, sitting on the tree, teased me and my grandmother with her tongue.
The neighbor's boy Pavlik wanted to shoot Lelya with a slingshot in order to remove her from the tree. But the grandmother did not allow him to do this, because Lelya could fall and break her leg. The grandmother did not go to this extreme and even wanted to take the boy’s slingshot away.
And then the boy got angry with all of us, including his grandmother, and from afar he shot at her with a slingshot.
Grandmother gasped and said:
- How do you like it? Because of this villain, I was hit with a slingshot. No, I won’t come to you anymore, so as not to have similar stories. It’s better if you bring me my nice boy Minya. And every time, to spite Lelka, I will give him gifts.
Dad said:
- Fine. I will do so. But you, mother, are in vain to praise Minka! Of course, Lelya did wrong. But Minka is also not one of the best boys in the world. The best boy in the world is the one who would give his little sister a few coins, seeing that she has nothing. And by doing this he would not have driven his sister to anger and envy.
Sitting on her tree, Lelka said:
“And the best grandmother in the world is the one who gives something to all the children, and not just Minka, who, out of his stupidity or cunning, remains silent and therefore receives gifts and cakes.”
Grandmother did not want to stay in the garden any longer.
And all the adults went to drink tea on the balcony.
Then I told Lele:
- Lelya, get off the tree! I'll give you two coins.
Lelya climbed down from the tree, and I gave her two coins. And in good mood went to the balcony and said to the adults:
- Still, grandma turned out to be right. I best boy in the world - I just gave Lela two coins.
Grandma gasped with delight. And mom gasped too. But dad, frowning, said:
- No, the best boy in the world is the one who does something good and doesn’t brag after it.
And then I ran into the garden, found my sister and gave her another coin. And he didn’t tell the adults anything about it.
In total, Lelka had three coins, and she found the fourth coin in the grass, where she hit me on the hand.
And with all these four coins Lelka bought ice cream. And she ate it for two hours, was full, and still had some left.
And by evening her stomach hurt, and Lelka lay in bed for a whole week.
And now, guys, many years have passed since then. And to this day I remember my father’s words very well.
No, I may not have managed to become very good. It's very difficult. But this, children, is what I have always strived for.
And that's good.
4. DON'T LIE
I studied for a very long time. There were still gymnasiums back then. And the teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They gave any score - from five to one inclusive.
And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.
And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months I literally walked around in a fog.
And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:
The moon shines merrily over the village,
White snow sparkles with blue light...
But I didn’t memorize this poem. I didn't hear what the teacher said. I didn’t hear because the boys who were sitting behind either slapped me on the back of the head with a book, or smeared ink on my ear, or pulled my hair, and when I jumped up in surprise, they placed a pencil or insert under me. And for this reason, I sat in class, frightened and even stunned, and all the time I listened to what else the boys sitting behind me were planning against me.
And the next day, as luck would have it, the teacher called me and ordered me to recite the assigned poem by heart.
And I not only didn’t know him, but I didn’t even suspect that there were such poems in the world. But out of timidity, I did not dare to tell the teacher that I did not know these verses. And completely stunned, he stood at his desk, without uttering a word.
But then the boys began to suggest these poems to me. And thanks to this, I began to babble what they whispered to me.
And at this time I had a chronic runny nose, and I couldn’t hear well in one ear and therefore had difficulty understanding what they were telling me.
I somehow managed to pronounce the first lines. But when it came to the phrase: “The cross under the clouds burns like a candle,” I said: “The crackling sound under the boots hurts like a candle.”
Here there was laughter among the students. And the teacher laughed too. He said:
- Come on, give me your diary here! I'll put a unit there for you.
And I cried, because it was my first unit and I didn’t yet know what happened.
After class, my sister Lelya came to pick me up to go home together.
On the way, I took the diary out of my backpack, unfolded it to the page where the unit was written, and said to Lele:
- Lelya, look, what is this? The teacher gave me this for the poem “The moon shines merrily over the village.”
Lelya looked and laughed. She said:
- Minka, this is bad! It was your teacher who gave you a bad grade in Russian. This is so bad that I doubt that dad will give you a photographic device for your name day, which will be in two weeks.
I said:
- What should we do?
Lelya said:
— One of our students took and glued two pages in her diary, where she had a unit. Her dad drooled on his fingers, but couldn’t peel it off and never saw what was there.
I said:
- Lelya, it’s not good to deceive your parents!
Lelya laughed and went home. And in a sad mood I went into the city garden, sat down on a bench there and, unfolding the diary, looked with horror at the unit.
I sat in the garden for a long time. Then I went home. But when I approached the house, I suddenly remembered that I had left my diary on a bench in the garden. I ran back. But in the garden on the bench there was no longer my diary. At first I was scared, and then I was glad that now I no longer have the diary with this terrible unit with me.
I came home and told my father that I had lost my diary. And Lelya laughed and winked at me when she heard these words of mine.
The next day, the teacher, having learned that I had lost the diary, gave me a new one.
I unwrapped this one new diary with the hope that this time there was nothing bad there, but there again there was a one against the Russian language, even more bold than before.
And then I felt so frustrated and so angry that I threw this diary behind the bookcase that stood in our classroom.
Two days later, the teacher, having learned that I did not have this diary, filled out a new one. And, in addition to a one in the Russian language, he gave me a two in behavior. And he told my father to definitely look at my diary.
When I met Lelya after class, she told me:
“It won’t be a lie if we temporarily seal the page.” And a week after your name day, when you receive the camera, we will peel it off and show dad what was there.
I really wanted to get a photographic camera, and Lelya and I taped up the corners of the ill-fated page of the diary.
In the evening dad said:
- Come on, show me your diary! Interesting to know if you picked up any units?
Dad began to look at the diary, but did not see anything bad there, because the page was taped over.
And when dad was looking at my diary, suddenly someone rang on the stairs.
Some woman came and said:
“The other day I was walking in the city garden and there on a bench I found a diary. I recognized the address from his last name and brought it to you so that you could tell me if your son had lost this diary.
Dad looked at the diary and, seeing one there, understood everything.
He didn't yell at me. He just said quietly:
— People who lie and deceive are funny and comical, because sooner or later their lies will always be revealed. And there was never a case in the world where any of the lies remained unknown.
I, red as a lobster, stood in front of dad, and I was ashamed of his quiet words.
I said:
- Here's what: I threw another one of my, the third, diary with a unit behind a bookcase at school.
Instead of getting even more angry with me, dad smiled and beamed. He grabbed me in his arms and started kissing me.
He said:
“The fact that you admitted this made me extremely happy.” You confessed something that could have remained unknown for a long time. And this gives me hope that you won’t lie anymore. And for this I will give you a camera.
When Lelya heard these words, she thought that dad had gone crazy in his mind and now gives everyone gifts not for A's, but for un's.
And then Lelya came up to dad and said:
“Daddy, I also got a bad grade in physics today because I didn’t learn my lesson.”
But Lelya’s expectations were not met. Dad got angry with her, kicked her out of his room and told her to immediately sit down with her books.
And then in the evening, when we were going to bed, the bell suddenly rang.
It was my teacher who came to dad. And he said to him:
“Today we were cleaning our classroom, and behind the bookcase we found your son’s diary. How do you like this little liar and deceiver who left his diary so that you wouldn’t see him?
Dad said:
“I have already personally heard about this diary from my son. He himself admitted this act to me. So there is no reason to think that my son is an incorrigible liar and deceiver.
The teacher told dad:
- Oh, that's how it is. You already know this. In this case, it is a misunderstanding. Sorry. Good night.
And I, lying in my bed, hearing these words, cried bitterly. And he promised himself to always tell the truth.
And this is indeed what I always do now.
Ah, sometimes it can be very difficult, but my heart is cheerful and calm.
5. THIRTY YEARS LATER
My parents loved me very dearly when I was little. And they gave me many gifts.
But when I got sick with something, my parents literally bombarded me with gifts.
And for some reason I got sick very often. Mainly mumps or sore throat.
And my sister Lelya almost never got sick. And she was jealous that I got sick so often.
She said:
“Wait a minute, Minka, I’ll also get sick somehow, and then our parents will probably start buying me everything.”
But, as luck would have it, Lelya was not ill. And only once, putting a chair by the fireplace, she fell and broke her forehead. She groaned and groaned, but instead of the expected gifts, she received several spanks from our mother, because she put a chair near the fireplace and wanted to get her mother’s watch, and this was forbidden.
And then one day our parents went to the theater, and Lelya and I stayed in the room. And she and I started playing on a small tabletop billiards table.
And during the game Lelya, gasping, said:
- Minka, I accidentally swallowed a billiard ball. I held it in my mouth, and it fell down my throat.
And we had small but surprisingly heavy metal balls for billiards. And I was afraid that Lelya swallowed such a heavy ball. And he cried because he thought there would be an explosion in her stomach.
But Lelya said:
- There is no explosion from this. But the illness can last for an eternity. This is not like your mumps and sore throat, which go away in three days.
Lelya lay down on the sofa and began to groan.
Soon our parents came and I told them what happened.
And my parents were so scared that they turned pale. They rushed to the sofa where Lelka was lying and began to kiss her and cry.
And through her tears, mom asked Lelka what she felt in her stomach. And Lelya said:
“I feel like the ball is rolling around inside me.” And it makes me tickle and makes me want cocoa and oranges.
Dad put on his coat and said:
- With all care, undress Lelya and put her to bed. In the meantime, I’ll run for the doctor.
Mom began to undress Lelya, but when she took off her dress and apron, a billiard ball suddenly fell out of her apron pocket and rolled under the bed.
Dad, who had not yet left, frowned extremely. He went to the pool table and counted the remaining balls. And there were fifteen of them, and the sixteenth ball lay under the bed.
Dad said:
Mom said:
- This is an abnormal and even crazy girl. Otherwise, I cannot explain her action in any way.
Dad never hit us, but then he pulled Lelya’s pigtail and said:
- Explain what this means?
Lelya whimpered and couldn’t find what to answer.
Dad said:
“She wanted to make fun of us.” But we are not to be trifled with! She won't receive anything from me for a whole year. And for a whole year she will walk around in old shoes and in an old blue dress that she doesn’t like so much!
And our parents slammed the door and left the room.
And looking at Lelya, I couldn’t help but laugh. I told her:
- Lelya, it would be better if you waited until you got sick with mumps than to go through such lies to receive gifts from our parents.
And now, imagine, thirty years have passed!
Thirty years have passed since that little accident with the billiard ball happened.
And in all these years I have never remembered this incident.
And only recently, when I started writing these stories, I remembered everything that happened. And I started thinking about it. And it seemed to me that Lelya did not deceive her parents in order to receive gifts that she already had. She deceived them, apparently for something else.
And when this thought occurred to me, I got on the train and went to Simferopol, where Lelya lived. And Lelya was already, imagine, an adult and even a little old woman. And she had three children and a husband - a sanitary doctor.
And so I came to Simferopol and asked Lelya:
- Lelya, do you remember this incident with the billiard ball? Why did you do this?
And Lelya, who had three children, blushed and said:
- When you were little, you were as cute as a doll. And everyone loved you. And I had already grown up and was an awkward girl. And that’s why I lied then that I had swallowed a billiard ball—I wanted everyone to love and pity me just like you, even if I were sick.
And I told her:
- Lelya, I came to Simferopol for this.
And I kissed her and hugged her tightly. And he gave her a thousand rubles.
And she cried with happiness because she understood my feelings and appreciated my love.
And then I gave her children one hundred rubles each for toys. And she gave her husband, the sanitary doctor, his cigarette case, on which was written in gold letters: “Be happy.”
Then I gave her children another thirty rubles each for a movie and candy and told them:
- Stupid little owls! I gave this to you so that you can better remember the moment you experienced and so that you know what you need to do in the future.
The next day I left Simferopol and on the way I thought about the need to love and feel sorry for people, at least those who are good. And sometimes you need to give them some gifts. And then those who give and those who receive feel great at heart.
But those who don’t give people anything, but instead present them with unpleasant surprises, have a gloomy and disgusting soul. Such people wither, dry out and suffer from nervous eczema. Their memory weakens and their mind becomes dark. And they die prematurely.
The good ones, on the contrary, live extremely long and enjoy good health.
6. FIND
One day Lelya and I took a box of chocolates and put a frog and a spider in it.
Then we wrapped this box in clean paper, tied it with a chic blue ribbon and placed this package on the panel facing our garden. It was as if someone was walking and lost their purchase.
Having placed this package near the cabinet, Lelya and I hid in the bushes of our garden and, choking with laughter, began to wait for what would happen.
And here comes a passerby.
When he sees our package, he, of course, stops, rejoices and even rubs his hands with pleasure. Of course: he found a box of chocolates - this doesn’t happen very often in this world.
With bated breath, Lelya and I watch what will happen next.
The passerby bent down, took the package, quickly untied it and, seeing the beautiful box, became even more happy.
And now the lid is open. And our frog, bored with sitting in the dark, jumps out of the box right onto the hand of a passerby.
He gasps in surprise and throws the box away from him.
Then Lelya and I began to laugh so much that we fell on the grass.
And we laughed so loudly that a passerby turned in our direction and, seeing us behind the fence, immediately understood everything.
In an instant he rushed to the fence, jumped over it in one fell swoop and rushed towards us to teach us a lesson.
Lelya and I set a streak.
We ran screaming across the garden towards the house.
But I tripped over a garden bed and sprawled out on the grass.
And then a passerby tore my ear quite hard.
I screamed loudly. But the passer-by, giving me two more slaps, calmly left the garden.
Our parents came running to the scream and noise.
Holding my reddened ear and sobbing, I went up to my parents and complained to them about what had happened.
My mother wanted to call the janitor so that she and the janitor could catch up with the passerby and arrest him.
And Lelya was about to rush after the janitor. But dad stopped her. And he said to her and mother:
- Don't call the janitor. And there is no need to arrest a passerby. Of course, it’s not the case that he tore Minka’s ears, but if I were a passer-by, I would probably have done the same.
Hearing these words, mom got angry with dad and said to him:
- You are a terrible egoist!
Lelya and I also got angry with dad and didn’t tell him anything. I just rubbed my ear and started crying. And Lelka also whimpered. And then my mother, taking me in her arms, said to my father:
- Instead of standing up for a passerby and bringing children to tears, you would better explain to them what is wrong with what they did. Personally, I don’t see this and regard everything as innocent children’s fun.
And dad couldn’t find what to answer. He just said:
“The children will grow up big and someday they will find out for themselves why this is bad.”
And so the years passed. Five years have passed. Then ten years passed. And finally twelve years have passed.
Twelve years passed, and from a little boy I turned into a young student of about eighteen.
Of course, I forgot to even think about this incident. More interesting thoughts crossed my mind then.
But one day this is what happened.
In the spring, after finishing the exams, I went to the Caucasus. At that time, many students took some kind of job for the summer and went somewhere. And I also took a position for myself - a train controller.
I was a poor student and had no money. And here they gave me a free ticket to the Caucasus and, in addition, paid a salary. And so I took this job. And I went.
I first come to the city of Rostov in order to go to the department and get money, documents and ticket pliers there.
And our train was late. And instead of the morning he came at five o’clock in the evening.
I deposited my suitcase. And I took the tram to the office.
I come there. The doorman tells me:
“Unfortunately, we’re late, young man.” The office is already closed.
“How come,” I say, “it’s closed.” I need to get money and ID today.
Doorman says:
- Everyone has already left. Come the day after tomorrow.
“How so,” I say, “the day after tomorrow?” Then I’d better come by tomorrow.
Doorman says:
— Tomorrow is a holiday, the office is closed. And the day after tomorrow come and get everything you need.
I went outside. And I stand. I don't know what to do.
There are two days ahead. There is no money in my pocket - only three kopecks left. The city is foreign - no one knows me here. And where I should stay is unknown. And what to eat is unclear.
I ran to the station to take some shirt or towel from my suitcase to sell at the market. But at the station they told me:
— Before you take a suitcase, pay for storage, and then take it and do with it what you want.
I had nothing except three kopecks, and I could not pay for storage. And he went out into the street even more upset.
No, I wouldn’t be so confused now. And then I was terribly confused. I’m walking, wandering down the street, I don’t know where, and I’m grieving.
And so I’m walking down the street and suddenly I see on the panel: what is this? Small red plush wallet. And, apparently, not empty, but tightly packed with money.
For one moment I stopped. Thoughts, each more joyful than the other, flashed through my head. I mentally saw myself in a bakery drinking a glass of coffee. And then in the hotel on the bed, with a bar of chocolate in his hands.
I took a step towards my wallet. And he held out his hand for him. But at that moment the wallet (or it seemed to me) moved a little away from my hand.
I reached out my hand again and was about to grab the wallet. But he moved away from me again, and quite far away.
Without realizing anything, I again rushed to my wallet.
And suddenly, in the garden, behind the fence, children's laughter was heard. And the wallet, tied by a thread, quickly disappeared from the panel.
I approached the fence. Some guys were literally rolling on the ground laughing.
I wanted to rush after them. And he already grabbed the fence with his hand in order to jump over it. But then in an instant I remembered a long-forgotten scene from my childhood life.
And then I blushed terribly. Moved away from the fence. And slowly walking, he wandered on.
Guys! Everything happens in life. These two days have passed.
In the evening, when it got dark, I went outside the city and there, in a field, on the grass, I fell asleep.
In the morning I got up when the sun rose. I bought a pound of bread for three kopecks, ate it and washed it down with some water. And all day, until evening, he wandered around the city uselessly.
And in the evening he came back to the field and spent the night there again. Only this time it’s bad because it started to rain and I got wet like a dog.
Early the next morning I was already standing at the entrance and waiting for the office to open.
And now it is open. I, dirty, disheveled and wet, entered the office.
The officials looked at me incredulously. And at first they didn’t want to give me money and documents. But then they gave me away.
And soon I, happy and radiant, went to the Caucasus.
7. GREAT TRAVELERS
When I was six years old, I did not know that the earth is spherical.
But Styopka, the owner’s son, with whose parents we lived at the dacha, explained to me what land was. He said:
- The earth is a circle. And if you go straight, you can go around the entire earth, and you will still come to the same place from where you came.
And when I didn’t believe it, Styopka hit me on the back of the head and said:
- I'll go to the trip around the world with your sister Lelya, than I will take you. I have no interest in traveling with fools.
But I wanted to travel, and I gave Styopka a penknife.
Styopka liked the knife and agreed to take me on a trip around the world.
In the garden Styopka arranged general meeting travelers. And there he told me and Lele:
- Tomorrow, when your parents leave for the city, and my mother goes to the river to do laundry, we will do what we have planned. We will go straight and straight, crossing mountains and deserts. And we will go straight until we come back here, even if it took us a whole year. Lelya said:
- What if, Styopochka, we meet Indians?
“As for the Indians,” answered Styopa, “then Indian tribes we will take prisoners.
- And those who don’t want to go into captivity? - I asked timidly.
“Those who don’t want to,” answered Styopa, “we won’t take them prisoner.”
Lelya said:
— I’ll take three rubles from my piggy bank. I think this money will be enough for us.
Styopka said:
“Three rubles will certainly be enough for us, because we only need money to buy seeds and sweets.” As for food, we will kill small animals along the way, and we will fry their tender meat over a fire.
Styopka ran to the barn and brought out a large sack of flour. And in this bag we began to collect the things needed for long journeys. We put bread, sugar, and a piece of lard into the bag, then we put various utensils - plates, glasses, forks and knives. Then, after thinking, they put in colored pencils, a magic lantern, a clay washstand and a magnifying glass for lighting fires. And, in addition, they stuffed two blankets and a pillow from the ottoman into the bag.
In addition, I prepared three slingshots, a fishing rod and a net for catching tropical butterflies.
And the next day, when our parents left for the city, and Styopka’s mother went to the river to rinse clothes, we left our village of Peski.
We followed the road through the forest.
Styopka’s dog Tuzik ran ahead. Styopka walked behind her with a huge bag on his head. Lelya followed Styopka with a skipping rope. And I followed Lelya with three slingshots, a net and a fishing rod.
We walked for about an hour.
Finally Styopa said:
— The bag is devilishly heavy. And I won’t carry it alone. Let everyone take turns carrying this bag.
Then Lelya took this bag and carried it.
But she didn’t carry it for long because she was exhausted.
She threw the bag on the ground and said:
- Now let Minka carry it.
When they put this bag on me, I gasped in surprise: this bag was so heavy.
But I was even more surprised when I walked along the road with this bag. I was bent to the ground, and like a pendulum, I swung from side to side, until finally, after walking ten steps, I fell into a ditch with this bag.
And I fell into a ditch in a strange way. First, a bag fell into the ditch, and after the bag, right on top of all these things, I dived. And although I was light, I nevertheless managed to break all the glasses, almost all the plates and the clay washstand.
Lelya and Styopka were dying of laughter, watching me flounder in the ditch. And so they were not angry with me when they learned what damage I had caused by my fall.
Styopka whistled for the dog and wanted to adapt it to carry weights. But nothing came of it, because Tuzik did not understand what we wanted from him. And we had trouble figuring out how to adapt Tuzik to this.
Taking advantage of our thoughts, Tuzik gnawed through the bag and in an instant ate all the lard.
Then Styopka ordered everyone to carry this bag together.
Grabbing the corners, we carried the bag. But it was awkward and difficult to carry. Nevertheless, we walked for another two hours. And finally they came out of the forest onto the lawn.
Here Styopka decided to take a break. He said:
“Whenever we rest or when we go to bed, I will stretch my legs in the direction in which we need to go.” All great travelers did this and thanks to this they did not stray from their straight path.
And Styopka sat down by the road, stretching his legs forward.
We untied the bag and started snacking.
We ate bread sprinkled with granulated sugar.
Suddenly, wasps began to circle above us. And one of them, apparently wanting to taste my sugar, stung me on the cheek. Soon my cheek was swollen like a pie. And I, on Styopka’s advice, began to apply moss, damp earth and leaves to it.
I walked behind everyone, whining and whining. My cheek was burning and ardent. Lelya was also not happy about the trip. She sighed and dreamed of returning home, saying that home can be good too.
But Styopka forbade us to even think about it. He said:
“I will tie anyone who wants to return home to a tree and leave it to be eaten by the ants.”
We continued walking in a bad mood.
And only Tuzik was in a wow mood.
With his tail raised, he rushed after the birds and with his barking brought unnecessary noise into our journey.
Finally it began to get dark.
Styopka threw the bag on the ground. And we decided to spend the night here.
We collected brushwood for the fire. And Styopka took a magnifying glass out of the bag to light a fire.
But, not finding the sun in the sky, Styopka became depressed. And we were upset too.
And, having eaten bread, they lay down in the dark.
Styopka solemnly lay down feet first, saying that in the morning it would be clear to us which way to go.
Styopka began to snore. And Tuzik also began to sniffle. But Lelya and I couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. We were frightened by the dark forest and the noise of the trees. Lelya suddenly mistook a dry branch above her head for a snake and screamed in horror.
And a falling cone from a tree scared me so much that I jumped up on the ground like a ball.
Finally we dozed off.
I woke up because Lelya was tugging at my shoulders. It was early morning. And the sun hasn't risen yet.
Lelya whispered to me:
- Minka, while Styopka is sleeping, let’s turn his legs in the opposite direction. Otherwise he will lead us where Makar never drove his calves.
We looked at Styopka. He slept with a blissful smile.
Lelya and I grabbed his legs and in an instant turned them in the opposite direction, so that Styopka’s head described a semicircle.
But Styopka did not wake up from this.
He just groaned in his sleep and waved his arms, muttering: “Hey, here, to me...”
He probably dreamed that he was attacked by Indians and he was calling us for help.
We began to wait for Styopka to wake up.
He woke up with the first rays of the sun and, looking at his feet, said:
“We’d be fine if I lay down with my feet anywhere.” So we wouldn’t know which way to go. And now, thanks to my legs, it’s clear to all of us that we need to go there.
And Styopka waved his hand in the direction of the road along which we walked yesterday.
We ate some bread and hit the road.
The road was familiar. And Styopka kept opening his mouth in surprise. Nevertheless he said:
— A trip around the world differs from other trips in that everything repeats itself, since the earth is a circle.
The creaking of wheels was heard behind me. It was some guy riding in a cart.
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ZOSCHENKO, MIKHAIL MIKHAILOVICH (1894-1958), Russian writer. Born on July 29 (August 9), 1894 in St. Petersburg in the family of an artist. Childhood impressions - including difficult relationships between parents - were later reflected in Zoshchenko’s stories for children ( Christmas tree, Galoshes and ice cream, Grandma's gift, No need to lie etc.), and in his story Before sunrise(1943). First literary experiments relate to childhood. In one of his notebooks, he noted that in 1902-1906 he already tried to write poetry, and in 1907 he wrote a story Coat.
In 1913 Zoshchenko entered the Faculty of Law of St. Petersburg University. His first surviving stories date back to this time - Vanity(1914) and Two-kopeck(1914). Studying was interrupted by the First World War. In 1915, Zoshchenko volunteered to go to the front, commanded a battalion, and became a Knight of St. George. Literary work did not stop during these years. Zoshchenko tried his hand at short stories, epistolary and satirical genres (he composed letters to fictitious recipients and epigrams to fellow soldiers). In 1917 he was demobilized due to heart disease that arose after gas poisoning.
Upon returning to Petrograd they wrote Marusya, Philistine, Neighbour and other unpublished stories in which the influence of G. Maupassant was felt. In 1918, despite his illness, Zoshchenko volunteered for the Red Army and fought on the fronts Civil War until 1919. Returning to Petrograd, he earned a living, as before the war, different professions: shoemaker, joiner, carpenter, actor, rabbit breeding instructor, policeman, criminal investigation officer, etc. In humorous stories written at that time Orders on railway police and criminal supervision Art. Ligovo and other unpublished works, the style of the future satirist can already be felt.
In 1919 Zoshchenko studied at creative studio, organized by the publishing house "World Literature". The classes were supervised by K.I. Chukovsky, who highly appreciated Zoshchenko’s work. Recalling his stories and parodies written during his studio studies, Chukovsky wrote: “It was strange to see that such a marvelous ability to powerfully make his neighbors laugh was endowed with such sad man" In addition to prose, during his studies Zoshchenko wrote articles about the works of A. Blok, V. Mayakovsky, N. Teffi and others. At the Studio he met the writers V. Kaverin, Vs. Ivanov, L. Lunts, K. Fedin, E. Polonskaya and others, who in 1921 united in literary group“Serapion Brothers”, which advocated freedom of creativity from political tutelage. Creative communication was facilitated by the life of Zoshchenko and other “serapions” in the famous Petrograd House of Arts, described by O. Forsh in the novel Crazy ship.
In 1920-1921 Zoshchenko wrote the first stories that were subsequently published: Love, War, Old Woman Wrangel, female fish. Cycle Stories of Nazar Ilyich, Mr. Sinebryukhov(1921-1922) released a separate book in the publishing house "Erato". This event marked Zoshchenko's transition to professional literary activity. The very first publication made him famous. Phrases from his stories acquired character catchphrases: “Why are you disturbing the chaos?”; “The second lieutenant is wow, but he’s a bastard,” etc. From 1922 to 1946, his books went through about 100 editions, including collected works in six volumes (1928-1932).
By the mid-1920s Zoshchenko had become one of the most popular writers. His stories Bath, Aristocrat, Medical history and others, which he himself often read before numerous audiences, were known and loved in all levels of society. In a letter to Zoshchenko A.M. Gorky noted: “I don’t know of such a relationship between irony and lyricism in anyone’s literature.” Chukovsky believed that at the center of Zoshchenko’s work was the fight against callousness in human relationships.
In story collections of the 1920s Humorous stories (1923), Dear citizens(1926), etc. Zoshchenko created a new type of hero for Russian literature - Soviet man, who has not received an education, does not have the skills of spiritual work, does not have cultural baggage, but strives to become a full participant in life, to become equal to the “rest of humanity.” The reflection of such a hero produced a strikingly funny impression. The fact that the story was told on behalf of a highly individualized narrator gave rise to literary scholars determining creative manner Zoshchenko as “fantastic”. Academician V.V. Vinogradov in the study Zoshchenko language analyzed in detail the writer's narrative techniques, noted the artistic transformation of various speech layers in his vocabulary. Chukovsky noted that Zoshchenko introduced into literature “a new, not yet fully formed, but victoriously spreading extra-literary speech throughout the country and began to freely use it as his own speech.” Zoshchenko’s work was highly appreciated by many of his outstanding contemporaries - A. Tolstoy, Y. Olesha, S. Marshak, Y. Tynyanov and others.
In 1929, received in Soviet history title “the year of the great turning point”, Zoshchenko published a book Letters to the writer- a kind of sociological research. It consisted of several dozen letters from the huge reader mail that the writer received, and his commentary on them. In the preface to the book, Zoshchenko wrote that he wanted to “show genuine and undisguised life, genuine living people with their desires, taste, thoughts.” The book caused bewilderment among many readers, who expected only the next funny stories. After its release, director V. Meyerhold was forbidden to stage Zoshchenko’s play Dear comrade (1930).
The inhumane Soviet reality could not but affect the emotional state of the sensitive writer, who was prone to depression from childhood. A trip along the White Sea Canal, organized in the 1930s for propaganda purposes for large group Soviet writers, made a depressing impression on him. No less difficult for Zoshchenko was the need to write after this trip that criminals were allegedly being re-educated in Stalin’s camps ( The story of one life, 1934). An attempt to get rid of a depressed state and correct one’s own painful psyche was a kind of psychological research - a story Youth returned(1933). The story evoked an interested reaction in the scientific community that was unexpected for the writer: the book was discussed at numerous academic meetings and reviewed in scientific publications; Academician I. Pavlov began to invite Zoshchenko to his famous “Wednesdays”.
As a continuation Restored youth a collection of stories was conceived Blue Book(1935). Zoshchenko believed Blue Book according to the internal content of the novel, he defined it as “ a short history human relations" and wrote that it "is driven not by the novella, but by the philosophical idea that makes it." Stories about modernity were interspersed in this work with stories set in the past - in different periods of history. Both the present and the past were presented in the perception of the typical hero Zoshchenko, unencumbered by cultural baggage and understanding history as a set of everyday episodes.
After publication Blue Book, which caused devastating reviews in party publications, Zoshchenko was actually prohibited from publishing works that went beyond the scope of “positive satire on individual shortcomings.” Despite his high writing activity (commissioned feuilletons for the press, plays, film scripts, etc.), Zoshchenko’s true talent was manifested only in the stories for children that he wrote for the magazines “Chizh” and “Hedgehog”.
In the 1930s, the writer worked on a book that he considered the most important in his life. Work continued during Patriotic War in Alma-Ata, in evacuation, because Zoshchenko could not go to the front due to severe heart disease. In 1943, the initial chapters of this scientific and artistic study of the subconscious were published in the magazine "October" under the title Before sunrise. Zoshchenko studied incidents from his life that gave impetus to a serious mental illness from which doctors could not save him. The modern scientific world notes that in this book the writer anticipated many discoveries of science about the unconscious by decades.
The magazine publication caused such a scandal, such a barrage of critical abuse was rained down on the writer that the publication Before sunrise was interrupted. Zoshchenko addressed a letter to Stalin, asking him to familiarize himself with the book “or give orders to check it more thoroughly than has been done by critics.” The response was another stream of abuse in the press, the book was called “nonsense, needed only by the enemies of our homeland” (Bolshevik magazine). In 1946, after the release of the resolution of the Central Committee of the All-Union Communist Party of Bolsheviks “On the magazines Zvezda and Leningrad,” the party leader of Leningrad A. Zhdanov recalled the book in his report Before sunrise, calling it a “disgusting thing.”
The resolution of 1946, which “criticized” Zoshchenko and A. Akhmatova with the rudeness inherent in Soviet ideology, led to their public persecution and a ban on the publication of their works. The reason was the publication children's story Zoshchenko Monkey Adventures(1945), in which the authorities saw a hint that in the Soviet country monkeys live better than people. At a writers’ meeting, Zoshchenko stated that the honor of an officer and a writer does not allow him to come to terms with the fact that in the Central Committee resolution he is called a “coward” and a “scum of literature.” Subsequently, Zoshchenko also refused to come forward with the repentance and admission of “mistakes” expected of him. In 1954, at a meeting with English students, Zoshchenko again tried to express his attitude towards the 1946 resolution, after which the persecution began in the second round.
The saddest consequence of this ideological campaign was the exacerbation of mental illness, which did not allow the writer to work fully. His reinstatement in the Writers' Union after Stalin's death (1953) and the publication of his first book after a long break (1956) brought only temporary relief to his condition.
You won’t be bored with the heroes of Zoshchenko’s children’s stories. Despite the fact that the stories that happen to them are instructive, the great writer fills them with sparkling humor. First-person narration deprives the texts of edification.
The selection includes stories from the “Lelya and Minka” series, written in the late 30s of the 20th century. Some of them are included in school curriculum or recommended for extracurricular reading.
Nakhodka
One day Lelya and I took a box of chocolates and put a frog and a spider in it.
Then we wrapped this box in clean paper, tied it with a chic blue ribbon and placed this package on the panel facing our garden. It was as if someone was walking and lost their purchase.
Having placed this package near the cabinet, Lelya and I hid in the bushes of our garden and, choking with laughter, began to wait for what would happen.
And here comes a passerby.
When he sees our package, he, of course, stops, rejoices and even rubs his hands with pleasure. Of course: he found a box of chocolates - this doesn’t happen very often in this world.
With bated breath, Lelya and I watch what will happen next.
The passerby bent down, took the package, quickly untied it and, seeing the beautiful box, became even more delighted.
And now the lid is open. And our frog, bored with sitting in the dark, jumps out of the box right onto the hand of a passerby.
He gasps in surprise and throws the box away from him.
Then Lelya and I began to laugh so much that we fell on the grass.
And we laughed so loudly that a passerby turned in our direction and, seeing us behind the fence, immediately understood everything.
In an instant he rushed to the fence, jumped over it in one fell swoop and rushed towards us to teach us a lesson.
Lelya and I set a streak.
We ran screaming across the garden towards the house.
But I tripped over a garden bed and sprawled out on the grass.
And then a passerby tore my ear quite hard.
I screamed loudly. But the passer-by, giving me two more slaps, calmly left the garden.
Our parents came running to the scream and noise.
Holding my reddened ear and sobbing, I went up to my parents and complained to them about what had happened.
My mother wanted to call the janitor so that she and the janitor could catch up with the passerby and arrest him.
And Lelya was about to rush after the janitor. But dad stopped her. And he said to her and mother:
Don't call the janitor. And there is no need to arrest a passerby. Of course, it’s not the case that he tore Minka’s ears, but if I were a passer-by, I would probably have done the same.
Hearing these words, mom got angry with dad and said to him:
You are a terrible egoist!
Lelya and I also got angry with dad and didn’t tell him anything. I just rubbed my ear and started crying. And Lelka also whimpered. And then my mother, taking me in her arms, said to my father:
Instead of standing up for a passerby and bringing children to tears, you would better explain to them what is wrong with what they did. Personally, I don’t see this and regard everything as innocent child’s fun.
And dad couldn’t find what to answer. He just said:
The children will grow up big and someday they will find out for themselves why this is bad.
And so the years passed. Five years have passed. Then ten years passed. And finally twelve years have passed.
Twelve years passed, and from a little boy I turned into a young student of about eighteen.
Of course, I forgot to even think about this incident. More interesting thoughts crossed my mind then.
But one day this is what happened.
In the spring, after finishing the exams, I went to the Caucasus. At that time, many students took some kind of job for the summer and went somewhere. And I also took a position for myself - a train controller.
I was a poor student and had no money. And here they gave me a free ticket to the Caucasus and, in addition, paid a salary. And so I took this job. And I went.
I first come to the city of Rostov in order to go to the department and get money, documents and ticket pliers there.
And our train was late. And instead of morning he came at five o’clock in the evening.
I deposited my suitcase. And I took the tram to the office.
I come there. The doorman tells me:
Unfortunately, we're late, young man. The office is already closed.
“How come,” I say, “it’s closed.” I need to get money and ID today.
Doorman says:
Everyone has already left. Come the day after tomorrow.
“How can that be,” I say, “the day after tomorrow.” Then I’d better come in tomorrow.
Doorman says:
Tomorrow is a holiday, the office is closed. And the day after tomorrow come and get everything you need.
I went outside. And I stand. I don't know what to do.
There are two days ahead. There is no money in my pocket - only three kopecks left. The city is foreign - no one knows me here. And where I should stay is unknown. And what to eat is unclear.
I ran to the station to take some shirt or towel from my suitcase to sell at the market. But at the station they told me:
Before you take your suitcase, pay for storage, and then take it and do with it what you want.
I had nothing except three kopecks, and I could not pay for storage. And he went out into the street even more upset.
No, I wouldn’t be so confused now. And then I was terribly confused. I’m walking, wandering down the street, I don’t know where, and I’m grieving.
And so I’m walking down the street and suddenly I see on the panel: what is this? Small red plush wallet. And, apparently, not empty, but tightly packed with money.
For one moment I stopped. Thoughts, each more joyful than the other, flashed through my head. I mentally saw myself in a bakery drinking a glass of coffee. And then in the hotel on the bed, with a bar of chocolate in his hands.
I took a step towards my wallet. And he held out his hand for him. But at that moment the wallet (or it seemed to me) moved a little away from my hand.
I reached out my hand again and was about to grab the wallet. But he moved away from me again, and quite far away.
Without realizing anything, I again rushed to my wallet.
And suddenly, in the garden, behind the fence, children's laughter was heard. And the wallet, tied by a thread, quickly disappeared from the panel.
I walked up to the fence. Some guys were literally rolling on the ground laughing.
I wanted to rush after them. And he already grabbed the fence with his hand in order to jump over it. But then in an instant I remembered a long-forgotten scene from my childhood life.
And then I blushed terribly. He walked away from the fence. And slowly walking, he wandered on.
Guys! Everything happens in life. These two days have passed.
In the evening, when it got dark, I went outside the city and there, in a field, on the grass, I fell asleep.
In the morning I got up when the sun rose. I bought a pound of bread for three kopecks, ate it and washed it down with some water. And all day, until evening, he wandered around the city uselessly.
And in the evening he came back to the field and spent the night there again. Only this time it was bad because it started to rain and I got wet like a dog.
Early the next morning I was already standing at the entrance and waiting for the office to open.
And now it is open. I, dirty, disheveled and wet, entered the office.
The officials looked at me incredulously. And at first they didn’t want to give me money and documents. But then they gave me away.
And soon I, happy and radiant, went to the Caucasus.
Christmas tree
This year, guys, I turned forty years old. This means that I have seen the New Year tree forty times. That's a lot!Well, for the first three years of my life, I probably didn’t understand what a Christmas tree was. My mother probably carried me in her arms. And, probably, with my black little eyes I looked without interest at the decorated tree.
And when I, children, turned five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree was. And I was looking forward to this joyful holiday. And I even spied through the crack of the door as my mother decorated the Christmas tree.
And my sister Lela was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl. She once told me:
Minka, mom has gone to the kitchen. Let's go to the room where the tree is and see what's going on there.
So my sister Lelya and I entered the room. And we see: a very beautiful tree. And there are gifts under the tree. And on the tree there are multi-colored beads, flags, lanterns, golden nuts, lozenges and Crimean apples.
My sister Lelya says:
Let's not look at the gifts. Instead, let's eat one lozenge at a time. And so she approaches the tree and instantly eats one lozenge hanging on a thread. I speak:
Lelya, if you ate a lozenge, then I’ll also eat something now. And I go up to the tree and bite off a small piece of apple. Lelya says:
Minka, if you took a bite of the apple, then I’ll now eat another lozenge and, in addition, I’ll take this candy for myself.
And Lelya was a very tall, long-knitted girl. And she could reach high. She stood on her tiptoes and began to eat the second lozenge with her big mouth. And I was surprisingly short. And it was almost impossible for me to get anything except one apple that hung low. I speak:
If you, Lelishcha, ate the second lozenge, then I will bite off this apple again. And I again take this apple with my hands and again bite it a little. Lelya says:
If you took a second bite of the apple, then I will no longer stand on ceremony and will now eat the third lozenge and, in addition, I will take a cracker and a nut as a souvenir. Then I almost started crying. Because she could reach everything, but I couldn’t. I tell her:
And I, Lelishcha, how will I put a chair by the tree and how will I get myself something besides an apple.
And so I began to pull a chair towards the tree with my thin hands. But the chair fell on me. I wanted to pick up a chair. But he fell again. And straight for gifts. Lelya says:
Minka, it seems you broke the doll. This is true. You took the porcelain hand from the doll.
Then my mother’s steps were heard, and Lelya and I ran into another room. Lelya says:
Now, Minka, I can’t guarantee that your mother won’t put up with you.
I wanted to roar, but at that moment the guests arrived. Many children with their parents. And then our mother lit all the candles on the tree, opened the door and said:
Everyone come in.
And all the children entered the room where the Christmas tree stood. Our mom says:
Now let each child come to me, and I will give each one a toy and a treat.
And so the children began to approach our mother. And she gave everyone a toy. Then she took an apple, a lozenge and a candy from the tree and also gave it to the child. And all the children were very happy. Then my mother took in her hands the apple that I had bitten off and said:
Lelya and Minka, come here. Which of you two took a bite of this apple? Lelya said:
This is Minka's work.
I pulled Lelya’s pigtail and said:
Lelka taught me this. Mom says:
I’ll put Lelya in the corner with her nose, and I wanted to give you a wind-up little train. But now I will give this winding little train to the boy to whom I wanted to give the bitten apple.
And she took the train and gave it to one four-year-old boy. And he immediately began to play with him. And I got angry at this boy and hit him on the hand with a toy. And he roared so desperately that his own mother took him in her arms and said:
From now on, I will not come to visit you with my boy. And I said:
You can leave, and then the train will remain for me. And that mother was surprised at my words and said:
Your boy will probably be a robber. And then my mother took me in her arms and said to that mother:
Don't you dare talk about my boy like that. Better leave with your scrofulous child and never come to us again. And that mother said:
I will do so. Hanging around with you is like sitting in nettles. And then another, third mother, said:
And I will leave too. My girl didn't deserve to be given a doll with a broken arm. And my sister Lelya shouted:
You can also leave with your scrofulous child. And then the doll with the broken arm will be left to me. And then I, sitting in my mother’s arms, shouted:
In general, you can all leave, and then all the toys will remain for us. And then all the guests began to leave. And our mother was surprised that we were left alone. But suddenly our dad entered the room. He said:
This kind of upbringing is ruining my children. I don't want them to fight, quarrel and kick guests out. It will be difficult for them to live in the world, and they will die alone. And dad went to the tree and put out all the candles. Then he said:
Go to bed immediately. And tomorrow I will give all the toys to the guests. And now, guys, thirty-five years have passed since then, and I still remember this tree well. And in all these thirty-five years, I, children, have never again eaten someone else’s apple and never once hit someone who is weaker than me. And now the doctors say that this is why I am so relatively cheerful and good-natured.
Golden words
When I was little, I really loved having dinner with adults. And my sister Lelya also loved such dinners no less than me.
Firstly, a variety of food was placed on the table. And this aspect of the matter especially seduced Lelya and me.
Secondly, the adults always told interesting facts from their lives. And this amused Lelya and me.
Of course, the first time we were quiet at the table. But then they became bolder. Lelya began to interfere in conversations. She chattered endlessly. And I also sometimes inserted my comments.
Our remarks made the guests laugh. And at first mom and dad were even pleased that the guests saw such our intelligence and such our development.
But then this is what happened at one dinner.
Dad's boss began to tell some incredible story about how he saved a fireman. This fireman seemed to have died in a fire. And daddy's boss pulled him out of the fire.
It is possible that there was such a fact, but only Lelya and I did not like this story.
And Lelya sat as if on pins and needles. In addition, she remembered one story like this, but even more interesting. And she wanted to tell this story as quickly as possible, so as not to forget it.
But my father’s boss, as luck would have it, spoke extremely slowly. And Lelya could not stand it any longer.
Waving her hand in his direction, she said:
What is this! There's a girl in our yard...
Lelya did not finish her thought because her mother shushed her. And dad looked at her sternly.
Dad's boss turned red with anger. He felt unpleasant that Lelya said about his story: “What is this!”
Turning to our parents, he said:
I don't understand why you put children with adults. They interrupt me. And now I have lost the thread of my story. Where did I stop?
Lelya, wanting to make amends for the incident, said:
You stopped at the way the distraught fireman said “mercy” to you. But it’s just strange that he could say anything at all, since he was mad and lay unconscious... Here we have one girl in the yard...
Lelya again did not finish her memories because she received a spanking from her mother.
The guests smiled. And daddy’s boss turned even redder with anger.
Seeing that things were bad, I decided to improve the situation. I told Lela:
There is nothing strange in what my father's boss said. Look how crazy they are, Lelya. Although the other burnt-out firefighters are lying unconscious, they can still speak. They are delirious. And they say without knowing what. So he said - “mercy”. And he himself, perhaps, wanted to say “guard.”
The guests laughed. And my father’s boss, shaking with anger, said to my parents:
You are raising your children poorly. They literally don’t let me say a word - they interrupt me all the time with stupid remarks.
Grandmother, who was sitting at the end of the table by the samovar, said angrily, looking at Lelya:
Look, instead of repenting of her behavior, this person started eating again. Look, she hasn't even lost her appetite - she eats for two...
They carry water for angry people.
Grandmother did not hear these words. But dad’s boss, who was sitting next to Lelya, took these words personally.
He gasped in surprise when he heard this.
Turning to our parents, he said this:
Every time I get ready to visit you and think about your children, I really don’t feel like going to you.
Dad said:
Due to the fact that the children really behaved extremely cheekily and thus they did not live up to our hopes, I forbid them from this day to have dinner with adults. Let them finish their tea and go to their room.
After finishing the sardines, Lelya and I left amid the cheerful laughter and jokes of the guests.
And since then, we haven’t sat down with adults for two months.
And two months later, Lelya and I began to beg our father to allow us to have dinner with adults again. And our father, who was there that day in a great mood, said:
Okay, I will allow you to do this, but I categorically forbid you to say anything at the table. One word spoken out loud from you, and you won’t sit at the table again.
And so, one fine day we are back at the table, having dinner with adults.
This time we sit quietly and silently. We know dad's character. We know that if we say even half a word, our father will never again allow us to sit with adults.
But Lelya and I do not yet suffer much from this prohibition to speak. Lelya and I eat for four and laugh among ourselves. We believe that adults even made a mistake by not allowing us to speak. Our mouths, free from talking, are completely occupied with food.
Lelya and I ate everything we could and switched to sweets.
After eating sweets and drinking tea, Lelya and I decided to go around the second circle - we decided to repeat the meal from the very beginning, especially since our mother, seeing that the table was almost clean, brought new food.
I took the bun and cut off a piece of butter. And the oil was completely frozen - it had just been taken out from behind the window.
I wanted to spread this frozen butter on a bun. But I couldn't do it. It was like stone.
And then I put the oil on the tip of the knife and began to heat it over the tea.
And since I had drunk my tea a long time ago, I began to heat this oil over the glass of my father’s boss, with whom I was sitting next.
Dad’s boss was saying something and didn’t pay attention to me.
Meanwhile, the knife warmed over the tea. The butter has melted a little. I wanted to spread it on the bun and already began to move my hand away from the glass. But then my butter suddenly slipped off the knife and fell straight into the tea.
I was frozen with fear.
I looked with wide eyes at the butter that splashed into the hot tea.
Then I looked around. But none of the guests noticed the incident.
Only Lelya saw what happened.
She began to laugh, looking first at me and then at the glass of tea.
But she laughed even more when dad’s boss, while telling something, began stirring his tea with a spoon.
He stirred it for a long time, so that all the butter melted without a trace. And now the tea tasted like chicken broth.
Dad's boss took the glass in his hand and began to bring it to his mouth.
And although Lelya was extremely interested in what would happen next and what her father’s boss would do when he swallowed this drink, she was still a little scared. And she even opened her mouth to shout to her father’s boss: “Don’t drink!”
But, looking at dad and remembering that she couldn’t speak, she remained silent.
And I didn't say anything either. I just waved my hands and, without looking up, began to look into the mouth of my father’s boss.
Meanwhile, Dad’s boss raised the glass to his mouth and took a long sip.
But then his eyes became round with surprise. He gasped, jumped up in his chair, opened his mouth and, grabbing a napkin, began coughing and spitting.
Our parents asked him:
What happened to you?
Dad's boss couldn't say anything out of fear.
He pointed his fingers at his mouth, hummed and glanced at his glass, not without fear.
Here everyone present began to look with interest at the tea remaining in the glass.
Mom, after tasting this tea, said:
Don't be afraid, there is ordinary butter floating here that has been melted in hot tea.
Dad said:
Yes, but it's interesting to know how it got into the tea. Come on, children, share your observations with us.
Having received permission to speak, Lelya said:
Minka was heating oil over a glass, and it fell.
Here Lelya, unable to bear it, laughed loudly.
Some of the guests also laughed. And some began to examine their glasses with a serious and concerned look.
Dad's boss said:
I’m also grateful that they put butter in my tea. They could fly in the ointment. I wonder how I'd feel if it was tar... Well, these kids are driving me crazy.
One of the guests said:
I'm interested in something else. The children saw that the oil fell into the tea. However, they didn't tell anyone about it. And they allowed me to drink this tea. And this is their main crime.
Hearing these words, my father’s boss exclaimed:
Oh, really, you disgusting children, why didn’t you tell me anything? I wouldn't drink this tea then...
Lelya stopped laughing and said:
Dad didn't tell us to talk at the table. That's why we didn't say anything.
I wiped my tears and muttered:
Dad didn't tell us to say a single word. Otherwise we would have said something.
Dad smiled and said:
These are not ugly children, but stupid ones. Of course, on the one hand, it’s good that they unquestioningly follow orders. We must continue to do the same - follow orders and adhere to the rules that exist. But all this must be done wisely. If nothing had happened, you had a sacred duty to remain silent. Oil got into the tea or grandma forgot to turn off the tap on the samovar - you need to shout. And instead of punishment, you would receive gratitude. Everything must be done taking into account the changed situation. And you need to write these words in golden letters in your heart. Otherwise it will be absurd.
Mom said:
- Or, for example, I don’t tell you to leave the apartment. Suddenly there is a fire. Why are you stupid children going to hang around in the apartment until you burn out? On the contrary, you need to jump out of the apartment and cause a commotion.
Grandma said:
- Or, for example, I poured everyone a second glass of tea. But I didn’t pour it for Lele. So did I do the right thing? Here everyone, except Lelya, laughed.
And dad said:
- You didn’t do the right thing, because the situation has changed again. It turned out that the children were not to blame. And if they are guilty, it is of stupidity. Well, you shouldn’t be punished for stupidity. We’ll ask you, grandma, to pour some tea for Lele. All the guests laughed. And Lelya and I applauded. But I, perhaps, did not immediately understand my father’s words. But later I understood and appreciated these golden words. And these words, dear children, I have always adhered to in all cases of life. And in your personal affairs.
And in war. And even, imagine, in my work. In my work, for example, I learned from the great old masters. And I was very tempted to write according to the rules by which they wrote. But I saw that the situation had changed. Life and the public are no longer what they were when they were there. And that's why I didn't imitate their rules. And maybe that’s why I didn’t bring people so much grief. And to some extent he was happy. However, even in ancient times, one wise man (who was being led to execution) said: “No one can be called happy before his death.” These were also golden words.
No need to lie
I studied for a very long time. There were still gymnasiums back then. And teachers then put marks in their diaries for each lesson asked. They gave any score - from five to one inclusive. And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old. And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months I literally walked around in a fog.
And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:
The moon shines merrily over the village,
White snow sparkles with blue light...
But I didn’t memorize this poem. I didn't hear what the teacher said. I didn’t hear because the boys who were sitting behind either slapped me on the back of the head with a book, or smeared ink on my ear, or pulled my hair, and when I jumped up in surprise, they placed a pencil or insert under me. And for this reason, I sat in class, scared and even stunned, and all the time I listened to what else the boys sitting behind me were planning against me.
And the next day, as luck would have it, the teacher called me and ordered me to recite the assigned poem by heart. And I not only didn’t know him, but I didn’t even suspect that there was a
such poems. But out of timidity, I did not dare to tell the teacher that I did not know poetry. And completely stunned, he stood at his desk, not saying a word.
But then the boys began to suggest these poems to me. And thanks to this, I began to babble what they whispered to me. And at this time I had a chronic runny nose, and I couldn’t hear well in one ear and therefore had difficulty understanding what they were telling me. I somehow managed to pronounce the first lines. But when it came to the phrase: “The cross above the clouds burns like a candle,” I said, “The crackling under the boots hurts like a candle.”
Here there was laughter among the students. And the teacher laughed too. He said:
Come on, give me your diary here! I'll put a unit there for you.
And I cried, because it was my first unit and I didn’t yet know what happened. After classes, my sister Lelya came to pick me up to go home together. On the way, I took the diary out of my backpack, unfolded it to the page where the unit was written, and said to Lelya:
Lelya, look, what is this? This is what my teacher gave me
poem “The moon shines merrily over the village.”
Lelya looked and laughed. She said:
Minka, this is bad! It was your teacher who gave you a bad grade in Russian. This is so bad that I doubt that dad will give you a photographic device for your name day, which will be in two weeks.
I said:
So what should we do?
Lelya said:
One of our students took and glued two pages in her diary, where she had a unit. Her dad drooled on his fingers, but couldn’t peel it off and never saw what was there.
I said:
Lyolya, it’s not good to deceive your parents!
Lelya laughed and went home. And in a sad mood I went into the city garden, sat down on a bench there and, unfolding the diary, looked with horror at the unit.
I sat in the garden for a long time. Then I went home. But, when I approached the house, I suddenly remembered that I had left my diary on a bench in the garden. I ran back. But in the garden on the bench there was no longer my diary. At first I was scared, and then I was glad that now I no longer have the diary with this terrible unit with me.
I came home and told my father that I had lost my diary. And Lelya laughed and winked at me when she heard these words of mine.
The next day, the teacher, having learned that I had lost the diary, gave me a new one. I opened this new diary with the hope that this time there
there is nothing bad, but there again stood a unit against the Russian language, even more bold than before.
And then I felt so frustrated and so angry that I threw this diary behind the bookcase that stood in our classroom.
Two days later, the teacher, having learned that I did not have this diary, filled out a new one. And, in addition to a one in the Russian language, he gave me a two in behavior. And he told my father to definitely look at my diary.
When I met Lelya after the lesson, she told me:
It won't be a lie if we temporarily seal the page. And a week after your name day, when you receive the camera, we will peel it off and show dad what was there.
I really wanted to get a photographic camera, and Lelya and I taped up the corners of the ill-fated page of the diary. In the evening dad said:
Come on, show me your diary! Interesting to know if you picked up any units?
Dad began to look at the diary, but did not see anything bad there, because the page was taped over. And when dad was looking at my diary, suddenly someone rang on the stairs. Some woman came and said:
The other day I was walking in the city garden and there on a bench I found a diary. I recognized the address from his last name and brought it to you so that you could tell me if your son had lost this diary.
Dad looked at the diary and, seeing one there, understood everything.
He didn't yell at me. He just said quietly:
People who lie and deceive are funny and comical, because sooner or later their lies will always be revealed. And there has never been a case in the world where any of the lies remained unknown.
I, red as a lobster, stood in front of dad, and I was ashamed of his quiet words. I said:
Here's what: I threw another one of my, the third, diary with a unit behind a bookcase at school.
Instead of getting even angrier at me, Dad smiled and beamed. He grabbed me in his arms and started kissing me.
He said:
The fact that you admitted this made me extremely happy. You confessed something that could have remained unknown for a long time. And that gives me hope that you won't lie anymore. And for this I will give you a camera.
When Lyolya heard these words, she thought that dad had gone crazy in his mind and now gives everyone gifts not for A's, but for un's.
And then Lelya came up to dad and said:
Daddy, I also got a bad grade in physics today because I didn’t learn my lesson.
But Lelya’s expectations were not met. Dad got angry with her, kicked her out of his room and told her to immediately sit down with her books.
And then in the evening, when we were going to bed, the bell suddenly rang. It was my teacher who came to dad. And he said to him:
Today we were cleaning our classroom, and behind the bookcase we found your son's diary. How do you like this little liar and
a deceiver who left his diary so that you would not see him?
Dad said:
I have already personally heard about this diary from my son. He himself admitted this act to me. So there's no reason to think that my son
an incorrigible liar and deceiver.
The teacher told dad:
Ah, that's how it is. You already know this. In this case, it is a misunderstanding. Sorry. Good night.
And I, lying in my bed, hearing these words, cried bitterly. And he promised himself to always tell the truth.
And I really always do this now. Oh, it really can be very difficult, but my heart is cheerful and calm.
Grandma's gift
I had a grandmother. And she loved me very dearly.
She came to visit us every month and gave us toys. And in addition, she brought with her a whole basket of cakes. Of all the cakes, she allowed me to choose the one I liked.
But my grandmother didn’t really like my older sister Lelya. And she didn't let her choose the cakes. She herself gave her whatever she needed. And because of this, my sister Lelya whined every time and was more angry with me than with her grandmother.
One fine summer day, my grandmother came to our dacha.
She has arrived at the dacha and is walking through the garden. She has a basket of cakes in one hand and a purse in the other.
And Lelya and I ran up to my grandmother and greeted her. And we were sad to see that this time, apart from cakes, grandma didn’t bring us anything.
And then my sister Lelya said to her grandmother:
Grandma, didn’t you bring us anything besides cakes today?
And my grandmother got angry with Lelya and answered her like this:
I brought it, but I won’t give it to the ill-mannered person who asks about it so openly. The gift will be received by the well-bred boy Minya, who is better than anyone in the world, thanks to his tactful silence.
And with these words, my grandmother told me to extend my hand. And she put 10 brand new 10-kopeck coins on my palm.
And here I stand, like a fool, and look with delight at the brand new coins that lie in my palm. And Lelya also looks at these coins. And he doesn't say anything.
Only her eyes sparkle with an evil light.
Grandma admired me and went to drink tea.
And then Lelya hit my hand with force from the bottom up so that all my coins jumped on my palm and fell into the ditch.
And I sobbed so loudly that all the adults came running - dad, mom and grandma.
And they all immediately bent down and began to look for my fallen coins.
And when all the coins were collected except one, the grandmother said:
You see how rightly I did that I didn’t give Lelka a single coin! What an envious person she is: “If she thinks it’s not for me, it’s not for him!” Where, by the way, is this villainess at the moment?
To avoid beatings, Lelya, it turns out, climbed a tree and, sitting on the tree, teased me and my grandmother with her tongue. The neighbor's boy Pavlik wanted to shoot Lelya with a slingshot in order to remove her from the tree. But the grandmother did not allow him to do this, because Lelya could fall and break her leg. The grandmother did not go to this extreme and even wanted to take the boy’s slingshot away.
And then the boy got angry with all of us, including the grandmother, and from afar he shot at her with a slingshot.
Grandmother gasped and said:
How do you like it? Because of this villain, I was hit with a slingshot. No, I won’t come to you anymore, so as not to have similar stories. Better bring me my nice boy Minya. And every time, to spite Lelka, I will give him gifts.
Dad said:
Fine. I will do so. But only you, mother, praise Minka in vain! Of course, Lelya did wrong. But Minka is also not one of the best boys in the world. The best boy in the world is the one who would give his sister a few coins, seeing that she has nothing. And by doing this he would not have driven his sister to anger and envy.
Sitting on her tree, Lelka said:
And the best grandmother in the world is the one who gives something to all the children, and not just Minka, who, out of his stupidity or cunning, remains silent and therefore receives gifts and cakes!
Grandmother did not want to stay in the garden any longer. And all the adults went to drink tea on the balcony.
Then I told Lele:
Lelya, get off the tree! I'll give you two coins.
Lelya climbed down from the tree, and I gave her two coins. And in a good mood he went to the balcony and said to the adults:
Still, grandma turned out to be right. I am the best boy in the world - I just gave Lela two coins.
Grandma gasped with delight. And mom gasped too. But dad, frowning, said:
No, the best boy in the world is the one who does something good and doesn’t brag after it.
And then I ran into the garden, found my sister and gave her another coin. And he didn’t tell the adults anything about it. In total, Lelka had three coins, and she found the fourth coin in the grass, where she hit me on the hand. And with all these four coins Lelka bought ice cream. And she ate it for two hours.
Galoshes and ice cream
When I was little, I really loved ice cream.Of course, I still love him. But then it was something special - I loved ice cream so much.
And when, for example, an ice cream man was driving down the street with his cart, I just started to feel dizzy: I wanted so much to eat what the ice cream man was selling.
And my sister Lelya also exclusively loved ice cream.
And she and I dreamed that when we grew up big, we would eat ice cream at least three, or even four times a day.
But at that time we very rarely ate ice cream. Our mother did not allow us to eat it. She was afraid that we would catch a cold and get sick. And for this reason she did not give us money for ice cream.
And then one summer Lelya and I were walking in our garden. And Lelya found a galosh in the bushes. An ordinary rubber galosh. And very worn and torn. Someone must have thrown it because it burst.
So Lelya found this galosh and put it on a stick for fun. And he walks around the garden, waving this stick over his head.
Suddenly a rag picker walks down the street. He shouts: “I’m buying bottles, cans, rags!”
Seeing that Lelya was holding a galosh on a stick, the rag picker said to Lelya:
Hey girl, are you selling galoshes?
Lelya thought it was some kind of game and answered the rag picker:
Yes, I'm selling. This galosh costs a hundred rubles.
The rag picker laughed and said:
No, one hundred rubles is too expensive for this galosh. But if you want, girl, I’ll give you two kopecks for it, and you and I will part as friends.
And with these words, the rag picker pulled out his wallet from his pocket, gave Lela two kopecks, put our torn galosh into his bag and left.
Lelya and I realized that this was not a game, but in reality. And they were very surprised.
The rag picker has long since left, and we stand and look at our coin.
Suddenly an ice cream man walks down the street and shouts:
Strawberry ice cream!
Lelya and I ran to the ice cream man, bought two scoops from him for a penny, ate them instantly and began to regret that we had sold the galoshes so cheaply.
The next day Lelya says to me:
Minka, today I decided to sell another galosh to the rag picker.
I was delighted and said:
Lelya, did you find a galosh in the bushes again?
Lelya says:
There's nothing else in the bushes. But in our hallway there are probably, I think, at least fifteen galoshes. If we sell one, it won’t hurt us.
And with these words, Lelya ran to the dacha and soon appeared in the garden with one rather good and almost new galosh.
Lelya said:
If a rag picker bought from us for two kopecks the same rags that we sold him last time, then for this almost brand new galosh he will probably give at least a ruble. I can imagine how much ice cream I could buy with that money.
We waited a whole hour for the rag picker to appear, and when we finally saw him, Lelya said to me:
Minka, this time you sell your galoshes. You are a man, and you are talking to a rag picker. Otherwise he’ll give me two kopecks again. And this is too little for you and me.
I put a galosh on the stick and began to wave the stick over my head.
The rag picker approached the garden and asked:
Are galoshes on sale again?
I whispered barely audibly:
For sale.
The rag picker, examining the galoshes, said:
What a pity, children, that you are selling me all one galoshin. I'll give you a penny for this one galosh. And if you sold me two galoshes at once, you would receive twenty, or even thirty kopecks. Because two galoshes are immediately more necessary for people. And this makes them jump in price.
Lelya told me:
Minka, run to the dacha and fetch another galosh from the hallway.
I ran home and soon brought some very large galoshes.
The rag picker put these two galoshes side by side on the grass and, sighing sadly, said:
No, children, you are completely upsetting me with your trading. One galosh is for a lady, the other is for a man’s foot, judge for yourself: what do I need such galoshes for? I wanted to give you a penny for one galosh, but having put two galoshes together, I see that this will not happen, since the matter has worsened from the addition. Get four kopecks for two galoshes, and we will part as friends.
Lelya wanted to run home to bring something else from the galoshes, but at that moment her mother’s voice was heard. It was my mother who called us home, because my mother’s guests wanted to say goodbye to us. The rag picker, seeing our confusion, said:
So, friends, for these two galoshes you could get four kopecks, but instead you will get three kopecks, since I deduct one kopeck for wasting time on empty conversation with children.
The rag picker gave Lela three kopeck coins and, hiding the galoshes in a bag, left.
Lelya and I immediately ran home and began to say goodbye to my mother’s guests: Aunt Olya and Uncle Kolya, who were already getting dressed in the hallway.
Suddenly Aunt Olya said:
What a strange thing! One of my galoshes is here, under the hanger, but for some reason the second one is missing.
Lelya and I turned pale. And they stood motionless.
Aunt Olya said:
I remember very well that I came in two galoshes. And now there is only one, and where the second one is is unknown.
Uncle Kolya, who was also looking for his galoshes, said:
What nonsense is in the sieve! I also remember very well that I came in two galoshes, however, my second galoshes are also missing.
Hearing these words, Lelya, out of excitement, unclenched her fist in which she had money, and three kopeck coins fell to the floor with a clang.
Dad, who also saw off the guests, asked:
Lelya, where did you get this money?
Lelya started to lie something, but dad said:
What could be worse than a lie!
Then Lelya began to cry. And I cried too. And we said:
We sold two galoshes to a rag picker to buy ice cream.
Dad said:
Worse than a lie is what you did.
Hearing that the galoshes had been sold to a rag picker, Aunt Olya turned pale and began to stagger. And Uncle Kolya also staggered and grabbed his heart with his hand. But dad told them:
Don’t worry, Aunt Olya and Uncle Kolya, I know what we need to do so that you are not left without galoshes. I’ll take all Lelin’s and Minka’s toys, sell them to the rag picker, and with the money we get we’ll buy you new galoshes.
Lelya and I roared when we heard this verdict. But dad said:
That's not all. For two years I have forbidden Lela and Minka from eating ice cream. And two years later they can eat it, but every time they eat ice cream, let them remember this sad story.
That same day, dad collected all our toys, called a rag picker and sold him everything we had. And with the money received, our father bought galoshes for Aunt Olya and Uncle Kolya.
And now, children, many years have passed since then. For the first two years, Lelya and I really never ate ice cream. And then we began to eat it, and every time we ate it, we involuntarily remembered what happened to us.
And even now, children, when I have become quite an adult and even a little old, even now, sometimes, when eating ice cream, I feel some kind of tightness and some kind of awkwardness in my throat. And at the same time, every time, out of my childhood habit, I think: “Did I deserve this sweet, did I lie or deceive someone?”
Nowadays, many people eat ice cream, because we have entire huge factories in which this pleasant dish is made.
Thousands of people and even millions eat ice cream, and I would really like, children, that all people, while eating ice cream, would think about what I think about when I eat this sweet thing.
Thirty years later
My parents loved me very dearly when I was little. And they gave me many gifts.
But when I got sick with something, my parents literally bombarded me with gifts.
And for some reason I got sick very often. Mainly mumps or sore throat.
And my sister Lelya almost never got sick. And she was jealous that I got sick so often.
She said:
Just wait, Minka, I too will somehow fall ill, and then our parents will probably start buying me everything.
But, as luck would have it, Lelya was not ill. And only once, putting a chair by the fireplace, she fell and broke her forehead. She groaned and groaned, but instead of the expected gifts, she received several spanks from our mother, because she put a chair near the fireplace and wanted to get her mother’s watch, and this was forbidden.
And then one day our parents went to the theater, and Lelya and I stayed in the room. And she and I started playing on a small tabletop billiards table.
And during the game Lelya, gasping, said:
Minka, I just accidentally swallowed a billiard ball. I held it in my mouth, and it fell down my throat.
And we had small but surprisingly heavy metal balls for billiards. And I was afraid that Lelya swallowed such a heavy ball. And he cried because he thought there would be an explosion in her stomach.
But Lelya said:
There is no explosion from this. But the illness can last for an eternity. This is not like your mumps and sore throat, which go away in three days.
Lelya lay down on the sofa and began to groan.
Soon our parents came and I told them what happened.
And my parents were so scared that they turned pale. They rushed to the sofa where Lelka was lying and began to kiss her and cry.
And through her tears, mom asked Lelka what she felt in her stomach. And Lelya said:
I feel like the ball is rolling around inside me. And it makes me tickle and makes me want cocoa and oranges.
Dad put on his coat and said:
With all care, undress Lelya and put her to bed. In the meantime, I’ll run for the doctor.
Mom began to undress Lelya, but when she took off her dress and apron, a billiard ball suddenly fell out of her apron pocket and rolled under the bed.
Dad, who had not yet left, frowned extremely. He went to the pool table and counted the remaining balls. And there were fifteen of them, and the sixteenth ball lay under the bed.
Dad said:
Lelya deceived us. There is not a single ball in her stomach: they are all here.
Mom said:
This is an abnormal and even crazy girl. Otherwise, I cannot explain her action in any way.
Dad never hit us, but then he pulled Lelya’s pigtail and said:
Explain what this means?
Lelya whimpered and couldn’t find what to answer.
Dad said:
She wanted to make fun of us. But we are not to be trifled with! She won't receive anything from me for a whole year. And for a whole year she will walk around in old shoes and in an old blue dress that she doesn’t like so much!
And our parents slammed the door and left the room.
And looking at Lelya, I couldn’t help but laugh. I told her:
Lelya, it would be better for you to wait until you get the mumps than to go through such lies to receive gifts from our parents.
And now, imagine, thirty years have passed!
Thirty years have passed since that little accident with the billiard ball happened.
And in all these years I have never remembered this incident.
And only recently, when I started writing these stories, I remembered everything that happened. And I started thinking about it. And it seemed to me that Lelya did not deceive her parents in order to receive gifts that she already had. She deceived them, apparently for something else.
And when this thought occurred to me, I got on the train and went to Simferopol, where Lelya lived. And Lelya was already, imagine, an adult and even a little old woman. And she had three children and a husband - a sanitary doctor.
And so I came to Simferopol and asked Lelya:
Lelya, do you remember this incident with the billiard ball? Why did you do this?
And Lelya, who had three children, blushed and said:
When you were little, you were as cute as a doll. And everyone loved you. And I had already grown up and was an awkward girl. And that’s why I lied then that I swallowed a billiard ball - I wanted everyone to love and pity me just like you, even if I were sick.
And I told her:
Lelya, I came to Simferopol for this.
And I kissed her and hugged her tightly. And he gave her a thousand rubles.
And she cried with happiness because she understood my feelings and appreciated my love.
And then I gave her children one hundred rubles each for toys. And she gave her husband, the sanitary doctor, his cigarette case, on which was written in gold letters: “Be happy.”
Then I gave her children another thirty rubles each for a movie and candy and told them:
Silly little owls! I gave this to you so that you can better remember the moment you experienced and so that you know what you need to do in the future.
The next day I left Simferopol and on the way I thought about the need to love and feel sorry for people, at least those who are good. And sometimes you need to give them some gifts. And then those who give and those who receive feel great at heart.
And those who don’t give people anything, but instead present them with unpleasant surprises, feel gloomy and disgusted in their souls. Such people wither, dry out and suffer from nervous eczema. Their memory weakens and their mind becomes dark. And they die prematurely.
The good ones, on the contrary, live extremely long and enjoy good health.
Great Travelers
When I was six years old, I did not know that the Earth is spherical. But Styopka, the owner’s son, with whose parents we lived at the dacha, explained to me what land was. He said:
The earth is a circle. And if you go straight, you can go around the entire Earth and still end up in the very place you came from.
And when I didn’t believe it, Styopka hit me on the back of the head and said:
I would rather go on a trip around the world with your sister Lelya than take you. I have no interest in traveling with fools.
But I wanted to travel, and I gave Styopka a penknife. Styopka liked my knife and agreed to take me on a trip around the world.
In the garden, Stepka organized a general meeting of travelers. And there he told me and Lele:
Tomorrow, when your parents leave for the city, and my mother goes to the river to do laundry, we will do what we have planned. We will go straight and straight, crossing mountains and deserts. And we will go straight until we get back here, even if it took us a whole year.
Lelya said:
What if, Stepochka, we meet Indians?
“As for the Indians,” Styopa answered, “we will take the Indian tribes prisoner.
And who will not want to go into captivity? - I asked timidly.
“Those who don’t want to,” Styopa answered, “we won’t take them prisoner.”
Lelya said:
I will take three rubles from my piggy bank. I think this money will be enough for us.
Stepka said:
Three rubles will certainly be enough for us, because we only need money to buy seeds and sweets. As for food, we will kill small animals along the way, and we will fry their tender meat over a fire.
Styopka ran to the barn and brought out a large sack of flour. And in this bag we began to collect things needed for long journeys. We put bread and sugar and a piece of lard into the bag, then we put various dishes - plates, glasses, forks and knives. Then, after thinking, they put in colored pencils, a magic lantern, a clay washstand and a magnifying glass for lighting fires. And, in addition, they stuffed two blankets and a pillow from the ottoman into the bag.
In addition, I prepared three slingshots, a fishing rod and a net for catching tropical butterflies.
And the next day, when our parents left for the city, and Stepka’s mother went to the river to rinse clothes, we left our village of Peski.
We followed the road through the forest.
Stepka’s dog Tuzik ran ahead. Styopka walked behind her with a huge bag on his head. Lelya followed Styopka with a skipping rope. And I followed Lelya with three slingshots, a net and a fishing rod.
We walked for about an hour.
Finally Styopa said:
The bag is devilishly heavy. And I won’t carry it alone. Let everyone take turns carrying this bag.
Then Lelya took this bag and carried it.
But she didn’t carry it for long because she was exhausted.
She threw the bag on the ground and said:
Now let Minka carry it.
When they put this bag on me, I gasped in surprise, this bag was so heavy.
But I was even more surprised when I walked along the road with this bag. I was bent to the ground, and like a pendulum, I swung from side to side, until finally, after walking ten steps, I fell into a ditch with this bag.
And I fell into a ditch in a strange way. First, a bag fell into the ditch, and after the bag, right on top of all these things, I dived too. And although I was light, I nevertheless managed to break all the glasses, almost all the plates and the clay washstand.
Lelya and Styopka were dying of laughter, watching me flounder in the ditch. And that’s why they weren’t angry with me when they found out what damage I caused by my fall. Lyolya and Minka: Great Travelers (story)
Styopka whistled for the dog and wanted to adapt it to carry weights. But nothing came of it, because Tuzik did not understand what we wanted from him. And we had trouble figuring out how to adapt Tuzik to this.
Taking advantage of our thoughts, Tuzik gnawed through the bag and in an instant ate all the lard.
Then Styopka ordered us all to carry this bag together.
Grabbing the corners, we carried the bag. But it was awkward and difficult to carry. Nevertheless, we walked for another two hours. And finally they came out of the forest onto the lawn.
Here Styopka decided to take a break. He said:
Whenever we rest or when we go to bed, I will stretch my legs in the direction in which we need to go. All great travelers did this and thanks to this they did not stray from their straight path.
And Styopka sat down by the road, stretching his legs forward.
We untied the bag and started snacking.
We ate bread sprinkled with granulated sugar.
Suddenly, wasps began to circle above us. And one of them, apparently wanting to taste my sugar, stung me on the cheek. Soon my cheek was swollen like a pie. And I, on Styopka’s advice, began to apply moss, damp earth and leaves to it.
I walked behind everyone, whining and whining. My cheek burned and ached.
Lelya was also not happy about the trip. She sighed and dreamed of returning home, saying that home can be good too.
But Styopka forbade us to even think about it. He said:
I will tie anyone who wants to return home to a tree and leave it to be eaten by the ants.
We continued walking in a bad mood.
And only Tuzik was in a wow mood.
With his tail raised, he rushed after the birds and with his barking brought unnecessary noise into our journey.
Finally it began to get dark.
Styopka threw the bag on the ground. And we decided to spend the night here.
We collected brushwood for the fire. And Styopka took a magnifying glass out of the bag to light a fire.
But not finding the sun in the sky, Styopka became depressed. And we were upset too.
And, having eaten bread, they lay down in the dark. Lyolya and Minka: Great Travelers (story)
Styopka solemnly lay down feet first, saying that in the morning it would be clear to us which way to go.
Styopka immediately began snoring. And Tuzik also began to sniffle. But Lelya and I couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. Scared us dark forest and the noise of trees.
Lelya suddenly mistook a dry branch under her head for a snake and screamed in horror.
And a falling cone from a tree scared me so much that I jumped up on the ground like a ball.
Finally we dozed off.
I woke up to Lelya tugging at my shoulders. It was early morning. And the sun hasn't risen yet.
Lelya whispered to me:
Minka, while Styopka is sleeping, let's turn his legs in the opposite direction. Otherwise he will lead us where Makar never drove his calves.
We looked at Styopka. He slept with a blissful smile.
Lelya and I grabbed his legs and in an instant turned them in the opposite direction, so that Stepka’s head described a semicircle.
But Styopka did not wake up from this.
He just groaned in his sleep and waved his arms, muttering: “Hey, here, to me...”
He probably dreamed that he was attacked by Indians and he was calling us for help.
We began to wait for Styopka to wake up.
He woke up with the first rays of the sun and, looking at his feet, said:
We would be fine if I lay down with my feet anywhere. So we wouldn’t know which way to go. And now, thanks to my legs, it’s clear to all of us that we need to go there.
And Styopka waved his hand in the direction of the road along which we walked yesterday.
We ate some bread and set off. Lyolya and Minka: Great Travelers (story)
The road was familiar. And Styopka kept opening his mouth in surprise. Nevertheless he said:
A trip around the world differs from other trips in that everything repeats itself, since the Earth is a circle.
The creaking of wheels was heard behind me. It was some guy riding in an empty cart. Stepka said:
For the speed of travel and to quickly circle the Earth, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for us to sit in this cart.
We started asking for a ride. A good-natured man stopped the cart and allowed us to sit in it.
We drove quickly. And the drive took no more than an hour. Suddenly our village of Peski appeared ahead. Styopka, his mouth open in amazement, said:
Here is a village exactly similar to our village of Peski. This happens when traveling around the world.
But Styopka was even more amazed when we approached the pier.
We got out of the cart.
There was no doubt - this was our pier, and a steamer had just approached it.
Styopka whispered:
Have we really circled the earth?
Lelya snorted, and I laughed too.
But then we saw our parents and our grandmother on the pier - they had just gotten off the ship.
And next to them we saw our nanny, who was crying and saying something.
We ran up to our parents.
And the parents laughed with joy that they saw us.
Nanny said:
Oh, children, I thought you drowned yesterday.
Lelya said:
If we had drowned yesterday, we would not have been able to go around the world.
Mom exclaimed:
What do I hear! They need to be punished.
Dad said:
All's well that ends well.
Grandmother, tearing off a branch, said:
I suggest flogging the children. Let Minka be spanked by her mother. And I take Lelya on myself.
Dad said:
Spanking is an old method of raising children. And it doesn't do any good. The children probably realized without spanking what a stupid thing they had done.
Mom sighed and said:
I have stupid children. Going on a trip around the world without knowing the multiplication tables and geography - well, what is it like!
Dad said: Lelya and Minka: Great travelers (story)
It’s not enough to know geography and the multiplication tables. To go on a trip around the world, you must have higher education in the amount of five courses. You need to know everything they teach there, including cosmography. And those who set off on a long journey without this knowledge come to sad results that are worthy of regret.
With these words we came home. And they sat down to dinner. And our parents laughed and gasped as they listened to our stories about yesterday's adventure.
As for Styopka, his mother locked him in the bathhouse, and our great traveler sat there all day.
And the next day his mother let him out. And we started playing with him as if nothing had happened.
It remains to say a few words about Tuzik.
Tuzik ran after the cart for an hour and became very tired. Having run home, he climbed into the barn and slept there until the evening. And in the evening, after eating, he fell asleep again, and what he saw in his dream remains shrouded in the darkness of the unknown.
Demonstration child
Once upon a time there lived a little boy Pavlik in Leningrad.
He had a mother. And there was dad. And there was a grandmother.
And in addition, there was a cat in their apartment named Bubenchik.
This morning dad went to work. Mom left too. And Pavlik stayed with his grandmother.
And my grandmother was terribly old. And she loved to sleep in the chair.
So dad left. And mom left. Grandmother sat down in a chair. And Pavlik began to play on the floor with his cat. He wanted her to go to hind legs. But she didn't want to. And she meowed very pitifully.
Suddenly a bell rang on the stairs. Grandmother and Pavlik went to open the doors. It's the postman. He brought a letter. Pavlik took the letter and said:
I'll tell dad myself.
The postman has left. Pavlik wanted to play with his cat again. And suddenly he sees that the cat is nowhere to be found. Pavlik says to his grandmother:
Grandma, that’s the number - our little bell is missing! Grandma says:
Bubenchik probably ran up the stairs when we opened the door for the postman.
Pavlik says:
No, it was probably the postman who took my Bell. He probably gave us the letter on purpose and took my trained cat for himself. It was a cunning postman.
Grandmother laughed and said jokingly:
Tomorrow the postman will come, we will give him this letter and in return we will take our cat back from him.
So the grandmother sat down in a chair and fell asleep.
And Pavlik put on his coat and hat, took the letter and quietly went out onto the stairs.
“It’s better,” he thinks, “I’ll give the letter to the postman now. And now I’d better take my cat from him.”
So Pavlik went out into the yard. And he sees that there is no postman in the yard.
Pavlik went outside. And he walked down the street. And he sees that there is no postman anywhere on the street either.
Suddenly some red-haired lady says:
- Oh, look, everyone, what a little baby is walking alone down the street! He probably lost his mother and got lost. Oh, call the policeman quickly!
Here comes a policeman with a whistle. His aunt tells him:
Look at this boy, about five years old, who got lost.
The policeman says:
This boy is holding a letter in his pen. This letter probably contains the address where he lives. We will read this address and deliver the child home. It's good that he took the letter with him.
Auntie says:
In America, many parents deliberately put letters in their children's pockets so that they do not get lost.
And with these words, the aunt wants to take a letter from Pavlik.
Pavlik tells her:
What are you worried about? I know where I live.
The aunt was surprised that the boy told her so boldly. And from excitement I almost fell into a puddle. Then he says:
Look what a lively boy! Let him then tell us where he lives.
Pavlik answers:
Fontanka street, five.
The policeman looked at the letter and said:
Wow, this is a fighting child - he knows where he lives. Auntie says to Pavlik:
What is your name and who is your dad? Pavlik says:
My dad is a driver. Mom went to the store. Grandma is sleeping in a chair. And my name is Pavlik.
The policeman laughed and said:
This is a fighting, demonstrative child - he knows everything. He'll probably be a police chief when he grows up.
The aunt says to the policeman:
Take this boy home. The policeman says to Pavlik:
Well, little comrade, let's go home. Pavlik says to the policeman:
Give me your hand - I will take you to my home. This is my red house.
Here the policeman laughed. And the red-haired aunt laughed too.
The policeman said:
This is an exceptionally combative, demonstrative child. Not only does he know everything, he also wants to take me home. This child will certainly be the chief of police.
So the policeman gave his hand to Pavlik, and they went home.
As soon as they reached their house, suddenly their mother was coming.
Mom was surprised to see Pavlik walking down the street, picked him up and brought him home.
At home she scolded him a little. She said:
Oh, you nasty boy, why did you run into the street?
Pavlik said:
I wanted to take my Bubenchik from the postman. Otherwise my little bell disappeared and the postman probably took it.
Mom said:
What nonsense! Postmen never take cats. There's your little bell sitting on the closet.
Pavlik says:
That's the number! Look where my trained cat jumped.
Mom says:
You, nasty boy, must have been tormenting her, so she climbed onto the closet.
Suddenly grandma woke up.
Grandmother, not knowing what happened, says to mother:
Today Pavlik was very quiet and behaved well. And he didn't even wake me up. We should give him candy for this.
Mom says:
You don’t need to give him candy, but put him in the corner with his nose. He ran outside today.
Grandma says:
That's the number!
Suddenly dad comes.
Dad wanted to get angry, why did the boy run out into the street? But Pavlik gave dad a letter.
Dad says:
This letter is not to me, but to my grandmother.
Then she says:
In Moscow, my youngest daughter gave birth to another child.
Pavlik says:
Probably a fighting child was born. And, probably, he will be the chief of police.
Then everyone laughed and sat down to dinner.
The first course was soup with rice. For the second course - cutlets. For the third there was jelly.
The cat Bubenchik watched Pavlik eat from her closet for a long time. Then I couldn’t stand it and decided to eat a little too.
She jumped from the closet to the chest of drawers, from the chest of drawers to the chair, from the chair to the floor.
And then Pavlik gave her a little soup and a little jelly.
And the cat was very happy with it.
The most important
Once upon a time there lived a boy named Andryusha Ryzhenky. He was a cowardly boy. He was afraid of everything. He was afraid of dogs, cows, geese, mice, spiders and even roosters.
But most of all he was afraid of other people's boys.
And this boy’s mother was very, very sad that she had such a cowardly son.
One fine morning this boy’s mother said to him:
Oh, how bad it is that you are afraid of everything! Only brave people live well in the world. Only they defeat enemies, put out fires and fly airplanes bravely. And that's why everyone loves brave people. And everyone respects them. They give them gifts and give them orders and medals. And no one likes cowards. They laugh and make fun of them. And this makes their life bad, boring and uninteresting.
The most important thing (story)
The boy Andryusha answered his mother like this:
From now on, Mom, I decided to be a brave person. And with these words Andryusha went into the yard for a walk. And in the yard the boys were playing football. These boys usually offended Andryusha.
And he was afraid of them like fire. And he always ran away from them. But today he didn't run away. He shouted to them:
Hey you boys! Today I am not afraid of you! The boys were surprised that Andryusha shouted to them so boldly. And they even got a little scared themselves. And even one of them - Sanka Palochkin - said:
Today Andryushka Ryzhenky is planning something against us. Let's better leave, otherwise we'll probably get hit by him.
But the boys didn't leave. One pulled Andryusha’s nose. Another knocked his cap off his head. The third boy poked Andryusha with his fist. In short, they beat Andryusha a little. And he returned home with a roar.
And at home, wiping away his tears, Andryusha said to his mother:
Mom, I was brave today, but nothing good came of it.
Mom said:
Stupid boy. It is not enough to just be brave, you must also be strong. Nothing can be done with courage alone.
And then Andryusha, unnoticed by his mother, took his grandmother’s stick and went into the yard with this stick. I thought: “Now I’ll be stronger than usual.” Now I will disperse the boys in different directions if they attack me.”
Andryusha went out into the yard with a stick. And there were no more boys in the yard.
The most important thing (story)
There was a black dog walking there, which Andryusha was always afraid of.
Waving a stick, Andryusha said to this dog: “Just try to bark at me - you’ll get what you deserve.” You'll know what a stick is when it walks over your head.
The dog began to bark and rush at Andryusha. Waving a stick, Andryusha hit the dog on the head twice, but it ran behind him and slightly tore Andryusha’s pants.
And Andryusha ran home with a roar. And at home, wiping away tears, he said to his mother:
Mom, how is this so? I was strong and brave today, but nothing good came of it. The dog tore my pants and almost bit me.
Mom said:
Oh, you stupid boy! It's not enough to be brave and strong. You also need to be smart. We need to think and think. And you acted stupidly. You waved a stick and this angered the dog. That's why she tore your pants. It's your own fault.
Andryusha told his mother: “From now on, I will think every time something happens.”
The most important
And so Andryusha Ryzhenky went out for a walk for the third time. But there was no longer a dog in the yard. And there were no boys either.
Then Andryusha Ryzhenky went outside to see where the boys were.
And the boys swam in the river. And Andryusha began to watch them bathe.
And at that moment one boy, Sanka Palochkin, choked in the water and began shouting:
Oh, help me, I'm drowning!
And the boys were afraid that he was drowning, and ran to call the adults to save Sanka.
Andryusha Ryzhenky shouted to Sanka:
Wait to drown! I'll save you now.
Andryusha wanted to throw himself into the water, but then he thought: “Oh, I’m not a good swimmer, and I don’t have the strength to save Sanka. I’ll do something smarter: I’ll get in the boat and row the boat to Sanka.”
And right at the shore there was a fishing boat. Andryusha pushed this boat away from the shore and jumped into it himself.
And there were oars in the boat. Andryusha began to hit the water with these oars. But it didn’t work out for him: he didn’t know how to row. And the current carried the fishing boat to the middle of the river. And Andryusha began to scream out of fear.
The most important thing (story)
And at that moment another boat was floating along the river. And there were people sitting in this boat.
These people saved Sanya Palochkin. And, besides, these people caught up with the fishing boat, took it in tow and brought it to the shore.
Andryusha went home and at home, wiping away his tears, he said to his mother:
Mom, I was brave today, I wanted to save the boy. I was smart today because I didn’t throw myself into the water, but swam in a boat. Today I was strong because I pushed a heavy boat away from the shore and pounded the water with heavy oars. But it didn't work out for me.
The most important thing (story)
Mom said:
Stupid boy! I forgot to tell you the most important thing. It is not enough to be brave, smart and strong. This is too little. You still need to have knowledge. You must be able to row, be able to swim, ride a horse, fly an airplane. There is a lot to know. You need to know arithmetic and algebra, chemistry and geometry. And in order to know all this, you need to study. He who studies becomes smart. And whoever is smart must be brave. And everyone loves the brave and smart because they defeat enemies, put out fires, save people and fly airplanes.
Andryusha said:
From now on I will learn everything.
And mom said: