Do you feel like no one wants to talk to you? You can't talk normally with a person for a long time? It means you simply don't know how to hold a conversation. It should be noted that there is nothing wrong with this; a person can learn anything if he has the desire. So, we set ourselves the goal of learning how to have a conversation and become interesting conversationalist. What is needed for this?
Don't get too carried away by talking about yourself. A conversation is a dialogue between two people. Therefore, a long monologue about your life is not interesting to anyone. Also, try not to rush to express your opinion, think if someone has already said this.
To become an interesting and pleasant conversationalist, you just need to make friends with diplomacy. If you notice that a particular topic is not to the liking of your interlocutor, then it is better not to ask for details. On the contrary, try to delicately avoid the topic.
Don’t hide your emotions, and if you don’t like something, it’s better to honestly tell the person to his face. But you need to speak out, observing a sense of proportion, and do not overdo it in your reactions.
Don't be afraid to show your sense of humor. You can stir up and stir up any person, and open him up, show his essence.
Learn to actively listen to your interlocutors, and try to remember the last phrase of your interlocutor. Otherwise, you will answer inappropriately, and thereby give yourself away, showing that you do not hear the person at all, although perhaps at that time he was pouring out his soul to you. The consequences of such a conversation are obvious.
If you want to become an interesting conversationalist, don't stop complimenting, but do it sincerely. Remember, flattery irritates a person, and your interlocutor will be unpleasant if you start flattering.
Speak in such a way that you are understood. That is, you should not speak in hints, especially to people you don’t know very well; they may not understand you correctly, and this may even ruin your reputation. In other words, choose your words carefully.
Never gossip! Then you will be sure that they will not gossip behind your back. Remember one rule, say about absent people only what you can then repeat in front of them, and you will not be ashamed of it. Try to fully express your thoughts, and never criticize either your enemies or your friends, this will not lead to good.
Remembering the above simple rules, you will understand how to learn how to have a proper conversation and become an interesting interlocutor. And we wish you good luck in this!
How to conduct a dialogue with your interlocutor
From time immemorial, people have valued those who can have an interesting conversation. Such people were considered very smart and well-read. At the same time, they were always the center of attention; it seemed that they easily found mutual language With different people and can have a casual conversation on almost any topic.
Seeing such good interlocutors, we involuntarily reassure ourselves by believing that people are born like this. But this erroneous opinion, you can become interesting yourself, develop speaking skills if necessary, the main thing is to work in this direction.
How to become a good communicator
If you want to become an interesting conversationalist and learn how to tell an interesting story (no matter what), then we advise you to start working on this. For this you need a notebook and a pen, yes, that’s exactly what they are.
After all, everyone knows that words spoken cannot be returned, so it is better to learn how to tell an interesting story on paper. You should write down all the events of the day in this notebook, and your stories should be succinct. Over time you will learn to structure correct speech, highlighting the most important things.
In order to tell an interesting story, a person must have a good vocabulary, it can be developed with the help classical literature. It will also be important to study scientific literature, the main thing is to select only topics that you understand, and use dictionaries and the Internet to understand the meaning of unfamiliar terms. Learn to use them in your stories, use new words in your vocabulary as often as possible, but, of course, only in essence.
Before you become an interesting conversationalist, you must understand that you will have to work hard, because in addition to enrichment vocabulary, you also need to work on presenting the topic and improving your diction.
If you lose the endings of words, sometimes don’t pronounce letters, then no matter how interesting and emotional your story is, people will not want to listen to your speech for a long time. To correct this flaw, we advise you to perform special exercises with which you can develop the mobility of your lips and tongue muscles. Tongue twisters will also help you with this.
Studying the basics of public speaking will also help you, since today there are a lot of books and seminars on this topic, which you can easily find on the World Wide Web. The main thing is to have the desire to learn how to tell an interesting story, and the rest is a matter of time.
However, despite the fact that most people know how to speak, unfortunately, not all of us are able to be interesting interlocutors with whom other people would like to spend hours of free time, just to hear the next phrase from our lips. So how do we become great speakers who can manipulate, make people laugh and simply make their audience fall in love with just a few of the right words?
Oddly enough, becoming an eloquent rhetorician is very simple, despite the fact that it will take many years to achieve mastery in this craft. The basis of speech that is interesting to others, first of all, is such a concept as “surprise”. Yes, it is precisely because of the ability to surprise listeners with every next sentence that we become interesting and, in a sense, attractive speakers. For example, would it be interesting to watch magic tricks when you knew perfectly well how each piece of the trick was done and what to expect at the end of the next magic act? Of course not! The same thing applies to the ability to speak - you can consider yourself as cheerful a person as you like, but if you spend days telling the same jokes that you read in the book “101 most funny joke”, no one will smile, but will simply go to listen to a lecture, for example, on rudimentary reflexes or quantum physics in life ordinary person.
The second most important lesson to learn before you start dreaming of becoming a great rhetorician is that you should never try to talk about something you don't know. It is quite possible that you do not have deep knowledge in any matter, except for one. So try to surprise people with what you know on this issue, and do not seek universal recognition by maintaining communication on topics that you have just heard for the first time in your life. Many people ask what to do at a time when a topic that is known and understandable to you cannot be changed, just as you cannot simply remain silent. The answer, as always, is simple - the skill of self-criticism will help you. Simply put, if you are faced with a situation where you are forced to carry on a conversation about something that you do not know, try to take advantage of your ignorance and instead of answering, ask others questions on the topic at hand, you can even try to use your cunning and ask your interlocutors something something on this topic that they will be forced to think about and try for a long time to find an answer, with which you can add a little spice, but also interest to your communication. If you cannot do this, then you can simply translate the question asked to you, in the form of a joke, to some other person in your group.
And, finally, the third most important skill that any speaker who is more or less popular in society possesses is courage and the absence of excessive modesty. You always need to remember that when you say something, you are pronouncing words, phrases and whole sentences in front of people like yourself, who can just get up and start talking in such a way that they will quickly forget about you and you will be forced to sit stand aside and quietly sip tea, while some Vasya Petrov from the factory amuses and makes everyone around him laugh, and also amazes them with facts about some machine. Therefore, it is extremely important to remember that as soon as you open your mouth and utter the first sound, from that moment you turn into the king of the celebration and it depends only on you how long it will take before you are overthrown. How should a king rule? Correct - loud, clear, multifaceted, intelligent, and most importantly - fair. Based on this, we will formulate a formula for ideal rhetoric: good rhetoric = loud and clear speech + cultural, unexpected and interesting proposals to others.
Finally, I would like to note that the main thing is not to be afraid to speak and express your personal opinion, since people who are only able to agree with others have never been loved and will not be loved. Even if your opinion completely contradicts the thoughts of others, express everything as you think, and then you will, at a minimum, be respected for your courage to go against others, and if you “demonstrate” your contradictory opinion with the help of a wonderfully delivered speech, then your interlocutors will not say anything bad at all, but will only thank you for the wonderful minutes during which they listened to this magnificent, eloquent speech.
A lot depends on the ability to find a common language with anyone. This is also promotion career ladder, and a successful personal life, and big circle friends. But how to become an interesting conversationalist? What to say, about what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's figure out how to improve your communication skills.
You've probably met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly carry on a conversation and even entertain the company if necessary. For the latter, it is difficult to start a conversation with a stranger, it is difficult to select topics for conversation or speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting interlocutor?
First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who move through life easily have a much simpler attitude towards many things. They are interested in many things, and they understand a variety of issues. It's not hard to find someone like that general theme anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.
Another one distinguishing feature an interesting interlocutor - a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are able to defuse the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Funny incidents from life, unusual analogies and the ability to laugh at themselves make such people even more attractive interlocutors.
How to become an interesting person
A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how to become interesting person and interlocutor? No matter how hard we try to study conversation technologies and select interesting topics, without deep study personal qualities it will be useless. You need to be interesting first of all to yourself. You must not only study a lot and learn new things, but also be able to operate with these facts. Interesting person will not stutter remember historical event or a new joke. Train your memory and attention, this will help overcome communication difficulties.
What to read to develop communication skills
Many books, manuals and brochures are published every day around the world for those who want to master the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first edition you come across, you may be disappointed.
Choose literature that has already stood the test of time and taken its rightful place on the shelves. Classic works psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for further development communication skills. Not only will you learn the techniques proper communication, but you will also be able to understand people better.
The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.
Periodicals will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often written in collaboration with professionals. They definitely won't do any harm. You can even make a selection of clippings for yourself to make them easier to use.
Basic rules of an interesting interlocutor
Having studied the theory of communication psychology, you can begin to practice. There are several techniques that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:
Taboo topics for conversation
Not everything is worth talking about and not always. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never raise these questions:
- Politics - this topic is too complex and multifaceted. Especially international, because a variety of events are constantly happening in the world. People can stick to the most different points point of view, and categorically expressing one of them will easily lead to unnecessary conflict and a tense situation.
- Health – this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of their last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about your illnesses.
- Personal life - people don’t like being pestered with intrusive questions. Topics such as marriage, having children, divorce, etc. are a personal matter for everyone. Discussing them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.
What to talk about
But then the question arises: what is acceptable to talk about? There are many topics for conversation:
- Achievements of science, including new technologies: telephones, cars, etc.
- Fashion, beauty, style - just don’t indulge in banal gossip.
- Cinema, books, performances and other interesting events.
How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl
When developing relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays no role last role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same things about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the recommendations given, and you will definitely be successful with the opposite sex.
To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, expand your horizons. With an erudite person there is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a passion for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At a minimum, you will always be interesting to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself entirely to his hobby often becomes successful and receives recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to huge amount of people. Be a well-rounded person. Being deeply passionate about one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Be interested in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. You need to learn something new throughout your life; this is the only way to avoid personality degradation. Share your knowledge with others - this is the point of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, you and I will each have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you a very interesting person. Accept and love yourself as you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, “the whole Universe is hidden in every person.” Look at yourself from the outside, identify your strengths and develop them. Don't hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication are the most reliable way gain fans and friends. Anyone who knows how to make a joke at the right time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be the center of attention!
An interesting personality is attractive to others. It’s a pleasure to communicate with a bright, extraordinary, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to listen and carry on a conversation, he amazes with his charisma and love of life, has an excellent sense of humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, study the basic qualities of interesting people.
Development
To be an interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study issues that interest you, expand your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world are worthy of attention, and at the same time how often you can meet boring, narrow-minded people. Don’t be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.
Find your calling. A charismatic personality strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find a professional field in which your talents are useful, or become interested in some activity in free time, which means you can infect other people with your own enthusiasm.
Interesting people are those who love their work and are happy to immerse themselves in it headlong.
Try to be a well-rounded person. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. Limited people are not as interesting to others as addicted people.
The art of conversation
Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become a great conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve your storytelling and listening skills.
To become a good storyteller, you need to learn to express your own thoughts beautifully, correctly and accurately. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and writing will help you master this talent. oral speech.
In addition, you should learn to notice interesting details and become more attentive.
Eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person, will help you in your listening skills. Of course, there is no need to interrupt the speaker.
Self-acceptance
A person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see the virtues in yourself first and foremost. It’s better to forget about shortcomings that you cannot correct.
Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love from others. Be a self-sufficient person, and people will be drawn to you. Strong people who are not looking for approval, but simple communication, are truly interesting to others.
Under any circumstances, try to remain yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend your own point of view. Learn to resist unwanted influence and manipulation, maintain your originality. A charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow his chosen path.
Everyday communication is an integral part of our lives. The ability to carry on a conversation is a necessary skill for any person. Some people are so bright and cheerful that they attract and attract others to them like a magnet. However, not every one of us knows how to become an interesting conversationalist. But if you are pleasant in communication, you can have good prospects in your life not only in the field of dating and friendship, but also in career growth.
How to become an interesting person and conversationalist?
To understand how to become a good and pleasant conversationalist, it is worth considering some recommendations regarding this issue.
Reading books is a very useful activity for self-development. Also, thanks to it, our speech becomes much richer and much more interesting. Try to read more encyclopedias and memorize some interesting and fascinating facts. This can be very useful in conversations, and you will be able to maintain a conversation on any topic.
Studying books on psychology will help you better understand others. The book “How to Win Friends and Influence People?” Dale Carnegie will teach you how to easily and freely apply the principles of psychology in everyday communication with different people.