Each of us thinks about how to make a good impression on our interlocutors, be remembered by them, and arouse interest in further communication. Is it possible to develop such a skill as effective communication? Yes, even at home. Many people ask a question from their interlocutor, and there is a very clear answer to it, expressed in the form of recommendations.
Secondly, imagine that the interlocutor constantly talks about topics in which you understand absolutely nothing, and they, by and large, are not interesting to you. Naturally, such a conversation will not last long, and it is unlikely that you will want to return to this same person. Now we project the situation onto ourselves. How to become interesting conversationalist? Discuss topics that are familiar and close to the other person, but do not neglect them own desires, otherwise you'll just get bored.
Thirdly, effective communication says that an interesting interlocutor is not distant during discussions, he reacts to what is said (nods his head, gestures), but, most importantly, looks not around, but at the person with whom he is communicating. This is very important, because harmless curiosity (“What is going on to my right?”) can lead to the fact that the interlocutor considers you rude, because you do not show respect and do not listen to the thought.
Let's look at another one next important aspect how to become an interesting conversationalist. The one who knows what stage the relationship is at and does not cross a certain boundary. There is no need to come too close to unfamiliar people and communicate with them “face to face”; it is necessary to maintain a public distance, as it is called in specialized literature. At the same time, you can communicate with a close person at a social or even intimate distance.
The manner of communication is also important, which depends on both the goals of the conversation and the relationship between people. Let's highlight such styles as friendly communication; creative (when interlocutors have a common goal); flirting (the desire to make a good impression on the audience, and this desire is aimed at gaining false, cheap authority, not supported by long-term relationships); distance and mentoring (emphasizing the difference between partners, be it the position held,
The manner of communication - mentoring - assumes that one interlocutor takes on the role of a mentor (shows the difference in experience) and considers it necessary to teach the other person something, in his opinion, correct and important.
Of course, no one likes it when teachings come into play, so this style should not be used in a close circle, especially with people you don’t know well. It is important to choose a manner that suits the situation, the environment and meets your goals. It is hardly worth arousing false sympathy from an audience that is not inclined, for example, to accept your point of view. Public distance and a friendly but cooler style are appropriate here.
Thus, it is obvious that there is no supernatural answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist. To begin with, be attentive to those who are in at the moment surrounds you, show emotions about the statements made and do not try to win your interlocutor from the first second - get to know him better. Of course, it is very important to communicate more with different people, but if a person does not understand you, then why waste your energy on him.
It is much more pleasant to have conversations with friends or with those who are “on the same wavelength.” You can train on them on various topics, and although in situations with unfamiliar people everything is much more complicated, you gain experience, thanks to which, although not immediately, the fear of saying something wrong will disappear. The most important - vocabulary, it must be replenished by reading books, otherwise no tricks and techniques will help you become an interesting interlocutor.
“I craved connection—I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to combat loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy.” These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important human needs - communication.
Indeed, it is very important to speak! Everyone is built that way. This is an indispensable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how dear he is to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, it is a lot of work, which is often avoided.
What obstacles may arise on the path to art? interesting conversation or communication? How to become an interesting conversationalist?
He was talking to himself. An interesting conversationalist, though.
Author unknown
Obstacles to conversation
1. Shyness
One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people close themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in a culture in which they did not particularly communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.2. Lack of self-confidence
Many people may spend years feeling afraid of looking stupid or being criticized. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.3. Inferiority complex
This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an “incapable loser”, so he prefers to suffer in silence.There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when someone else is speaking, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.
How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?
Listen, be interested, be attentive
If you're at a loss as to what exactly to say, don't despair. You actually know a lot more than you think.And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or that no one is interested in you, analyze how much you can listen. You don't have to talk all the time to keep a conversation going.
Both interlocutors must speak. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: “Take care not only of your needs, but also of the needs of others.”
To do this:
- be interested in others, their state of mind. Before talking about yourself or asking for anything, learn to ask about your interlocutor’s affairs, for example: “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”;
- pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it says more about the feelings of the other than his words.
A taciturn interlocutor can lead to despair, a talkative one - to crime.
Don Aminado
But what should you do if you are talking to someone who is not good at conversation?
Still, give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. To do this, ask tactful questions. Let's say you're talking to an older person.
Ask him about how the world has changed or family life since his youth. In addition to the fact that you will learn a lot yourself, you will please your interlocutor.
How to become an interesting person and develop charisma
In society, and especially among public figures, there are very often people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. However, from the first minutes of meeting it becomes clear that this person is an incredibly interesting person who attracts people with his charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that the person is very charismatic.There is a widespread belief that charisma cannot be developed as a skill, and that this character trait is given to people by nature. There is a certain amount of truth in this; a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, naturally and naturally, but this does not mean at all that those unfortunate people deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetate outside the social circle.
In order to take the first step towards becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is stubbornly ignored by many people. We are talking about developing a respectful attitude towards ourselves, we need to love ourselves, accept all our shortcomings and weaknesses, and then try to focus on the benefits.
In self-love you should not look for selfish motives, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself over everyone around you; you need to understand that a person who is unable to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.
Only by beginning to respect oneself does a person become open to accepting love from the outside.
The next step directly follows from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. It is impossible to become a charismatic person if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem stand in the way. When you are around a charismatic and outgoing person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed and at ease.
A closed person, by his behavior, makes those around him feel awkward, and as a result, they try to stop communicating with such a closed person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, and you cannot run away from yourself. It’s much easier to be yourself, stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this great job, which can only be accomplished with considerable effort.
As you know, any skill develops through training. It is impossible to learn to cook well, play the musical instrument, understand technology, only on the basis of theoretical knowledge. The same applies to the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, you need to communicate a lot with different people, preferably with strangers. Such training will help you develop the ability to quickly navigate a conversation, and a pleasant bonus will be the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe even friends.
It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, and therefore it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. You need to read a lot of literature on the most different topics, people very sensitively feel a well-read person and have respect for such a person.
Thus, worthy and fair treatment We involuntarily transfer it to ourselves and to the people around us. If the relationship is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. You need to follow the golden rule and treat people the best you can to get the same in return, then no problem will arise.
Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation
10 tips on how to become an interesting person and conversationalist
Pay attention to the people who belong to your social circle. Agree that some of your friends attract more attention, they are listened to more, they are sympathized with, while others remain unnoticed, even if they make attempts to be in the center of attention.Obviously, few people will enjoy the company of a boring, constantly whining person who is behind the times. After all, in the process of communication, the interlocutor wants not only to speak out for himself, but also to learn for himself interesting information, recharge your energy from your partner.
In order to please people, you need to be an interesting conversationalist yourself. By following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience is accumulated, and your circle of acquaintances is expanding.
1. Become a good communicator
- Learn to listen carefully;
- Ask questions to your interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
- Express your emotions about what you heard. For example: “I am outraged by his action...”, “how did you manage to do this...”, “it’s so wonderful that you did it all...”;
- Keep the conversation going interesting facts from life, books, articles;
- No ridicule of the feelings of the interlocutor;
- Don’t lecture, don’t insist, but advise and recommend.
3. Have your own hobbies
When you are passionate about something, your eyes light up, you are overwhelmed with emotions, you are full of energy, which is transmitted to others.4. Experiment and share your results and experiences
It will be useful for others, you will be grateful.5. Don't sit at home
Visit more various events(exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports competitions). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet acquaintances, and perhaps meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.6. Register on social networks
Connect as a friend more people, even if you don’t know them closely, find groups of like-minded hobbyists.Post it on your page interesting photos, join in discussions, express your opinion.
7. Connect with a variety of people
Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know that if you are active, you are interesting to other people. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, don’t doubt it.8. Be confident
Remember that you, with your characteristics, with your “cockroaches in your head,” are unique, and therefore interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die out of boredom.9. Play sports
Yes, it’s not easy, especially if you’ve never even done exercise before. But you don’t have to exhaust yourself with exercise equipment if you don’t like it and can’t afford it. You can start with brisk walking or running.People who play sports are always more confident and energetic.
10. Look after yourself
The first thing that catches your eye is the person's appearance. Watch your clothes, shoes, hairstyle, makeup. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress tastelessly.If you don’t like today’s fashion, you need to study the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.
Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, you will first of all become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer be visited by sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and the workload of exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.
Conclusion
Remember that no matter how difficult it may be for you to communicate with others today, you can always improve it. Don't forget that the best conversation starters are friendliness, tact and a good sense of humor.Develop these qualities in yourself, and communicating with you will be much more interesting!
Supporting any conversation, supplementing the dialogue with facts, decorating the speech with successful phrases and quotes is an entire art that a person learns with early childhood. We learn to listen to the interlocutor, catch the thought and support him, using the information that we receive daily from the means mass media. It is very important to be able to correctly organize your thoughts and express them during a conversation. Public speaking makes us charismatic, knowledgeable and wise. Let's find out how to become an interesting conversationalist and what you need to do for this.
Fighting the inner self
If you have at least one complex inside you, it can make you a tense and insecure person. An interesting interlocutor is, first of all, one who was able to carefully work on himself. If you are a shy, modest, cowardly and unlucky person, then this article is for you. Try a little experiment: take a piece of paper and mentally draw a line down the center. In the first column, write down all your positive qualities and hobbies, in the second - all your fears and complexes. Take a look at the list and be surprised: after all, the first column will indicate at least 5 interests that partly make you happy. Every hobby can grow into something bigger and grander, which will ultimately defeat your inhibitions.
Proper society
You won't learn how to be an interesting conversationalist if you try to please everyone. Sometimes you don’t notice that you are surrounded by people whose hobbies are completely different from your inner self. This may manifest itself as ignorance on the part of the interlocutor or comments addressed to you that listening to you is uninteresting and boring.
First of all, analyze how much your worldview coincides with the surrounding society. Then just change your social circle. Don't know where to find it? Attend concerts, museums, sporting events, poetry readings, craft courses, or foreign languages. By translating your interests into reality, developing them, you will begin to notice how your environment is changing, amazing people who want and will listen to you with rapture.
If your partner is a man
Men love smart people; they like it when their interlocutor can support any conversation. There is no need to limit yourself to the fact that men are the stronger sex who are only interested in sports, fishing and cars. First of all, the male part of the earth is the same representatives human race who are interested in cooking, cinema, literature, and animals. To become an interesting conversationalist for the male half of the population, you should not pretend that you enjoy the dialogue, and do not try to extract any intricate facts from yourself. It’s enough to be open, win over your partner and don’t be shy about sharing your hobbies. Keeping this simple advice in mind, you will learn the truth of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a man.
If your partner is a girl
Girls are the fair sex. They are mysterious and romantic, dreamy and fragile. Girls, as a rule, love with their ears, so you must find a certain approach for such an interlocutor. First, listen carefully to each story. If you're bored in the middle of a story, it might not be your partner. Secondly, not all girls love fashion, animals and photography. Many people are interested in fishing, hunting, mechanical engineering, and others are much more interested in better than men repairs household appliances. The principle here is simple: to find out how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl, you need to be literate and well-read. You can impress a girl only with facts, knowledge and out-of-the-box thinking, and not just beauty, strength and strong character.
Books for self-development
Many people start small and ask the question: “What books should I read to become an interesting conversationalist?” It is enough to understand that you must constantly develop, and for this you need to read literature, watch scientific programs, attend interesting events, travel, and communicate with different people. Literature in in this case will help you learn only the theoretical part of oratory, but nothing more. After reading the books, you need communication to learn how to hone your craft. We present to your attention the top 10 literary masterpieces that will help you understand human nature and look from the outside at ideal interlocutors:
What does it take to be an interesting conversationalist? Become more open. You won't be able to attract attention if you are closed in your cocoon. Open up to people, learn to trust them, don’t be afraid to talk about your hobbies, desires and dreams. But no one talks about being pushy and trying to win the hearts of everyone around you.
If you don’t know how to become an interesting conversationalist, then you will have to learn to talk about yourself. If you are tense and withdrawn, this will help you easy exercise: Write down stories from your life on a piece of paper, read them carefully. Try putting down on paper thoughts and feelings that you can't say out loud.
Don’t be afraid to express your opinion and defend your personal point of view, don’t be afraid to ask about your interlocutor’s business and give advice if asked. Be confident and proud, never lower your eyes and head. Don't be shy about complimenting and calling your interlocutor by name. By following all these tips, you will learn how to become an interesting conversationalist.
In the lives of many people, the process of communication takes up a very large part of the time. After all, the ability to speak, listen, read and write are the most important abilities that help to achieve success in life, ensure effective joint activities people. Therefore, it is very important to be able to conduct a dialogue correctly in order to achieve good results at work, in your personal life, and in communicating with loved ones and friends. By becoming a good conversationalist, you will attract many people to you, learn to win over your interlocutors, and achieve the results you need.1. Smile. After all, any communication that begins with a smile already attracts a person to you. With a smile, you show that you are sincere and open to productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that even when talking on the phone you can feel a smile.
2. There is something to talk about with anyone. It is necessary to determine what interests a person and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, we can talk about this man himself. Show attention to him, show sincere interest, and you will subsequently find many topics for conversation.
3. If they don’t understand you, it means you didn’t express yourself correctly and clearly enough. Construct your speech in such a way that everything is very clear to your interlocutor. Then you will stop getting annoyed and angry at the person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.
4. Give compliments. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and encourage those around you. Remember that compliments should come from the heart. Blatant flattery will only push people away from you. However, don't be afraid to praise someone who did a great job. Thank those who have a good joke. Compliment someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.
5. Active listening technique. In this way you will show that you hear your interlocutor and understand what is being said in the conversation. Look at the person you are talking to, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. You can help find the necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor stumbles, ask questions, and continue the thought. This will make it clear that you are interested in the person. And this will make them want to continue communicating with you.
6. Try to call the person you are talking to by name more often. As psychologists have proven, sound own name- the most pleasant and sweet sound for the human ear. After all, a person is given a name at birth and he carries it throughout his long life.
7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher education, do not use complex scientific terms and phrases in conversation. There is no need to try to give yourself some kind of dubious status through abstruse conversation. Any smart man will still understand how smart or stupid you are.
8. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and do not give advice that you are not asked for. Listen to the person until the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you feel the urge to give unsolicited advice, suppress this urge. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle for successful communication.
9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to carry on a conversation about something that is not interesting to you, try to understand the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, the person, not feeling the feedback, will stop the conversation.
10. Remove the pronoun “I” from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people are selfish by nature. And, as a rule, everyone wants to hear mainly about themselves. But this approach to communication is wrong. Try to use other shades of statements instead of combinations with the pronoun “I”. For example, instead of “I want”, say: “I would like” or “I would like.” This will slightly change the way you speak to you.
A good conversationalist can be a person who is interested in the most various areas life, from fashion and style, to hunting and fishing. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its bright manifestations, then becoming a good conversationalist is quite difficult. After all, only by showing interest in your interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and an excellent attitude towards yourself.
How to become interesting personality for others? Focus on your own individuality and don't try to copy anyone. Many people who want to become more interesting to others are forgotten, being obsessed with their desire. And they begin to imitate their ideal, and not always successfully, completely forgetting about their own uniqueness. And this is the main mistake of many people.
Self-development
If a person is thinking about how to become an interesting person to others, then there is a high probability that he is not very versatile. This is true? Then you need to start actively working on yourself. In self-development, the main point is to concentrate on your goals and desires, as well as constantly acquiring new knowledge to achieve them.
This process is impossible without self-knowledge, which implies the study of one’s personal characteristics (both physical and mental). It is very important for each person to comprehend himself, after which he establishes himself in those areas of life that are most significant to him. And the more there are, the better. Everything is simple here. The more spheres of manifestation of his personality a person has, the wider his horizons will become, the richer inner world, a richer store of knowledge. Personality is like a painting. The more details it contains, the more interesting it is to study it.
Popular problem
If a person is worried about how to become an interesting person to others, most likely he simply does not know how to communicate. Lack of communication skills manifests itself in different ways. Some talk about something completely ordinary, uninteresting or banal. Others do not pay attention to the interlocutor, not allowing them to get a word in. Some simply don’t know what to say, and therefore all their speeches are inappropriate. The rest know neither moderation nor tact, and constantly strive to “get into” the dialogue.
And these are not all examples. But the solution for all cases is the same: you need to learn to communicate.
Competent dialogue
Well, how to become an interesting person to others? You need to learn to talk to them! It's not that difficult, just remember a few rules and follow them.
First, you need to be genuinely interested in others. People are more willing to communicate with those who show interest in them. And in most cases they show it in response, giving the interlocutor the opportunity to open up.
Secondly, don't be shy to smile. But only sincerely, not falsely! A kind smile attracts the interlocutor to you. In addition, she shows him that communicating with him brings pleasure and joy.
Thirdly, you must call your opponent by name. It would seem like a simple and ordinary thing. But many have long ago replaced their names with “you”. And in vain. After all, a name expresses individuality.
Also, if a person is interested in something, people should learn to listen. Showing attention is a powerful tool of influence. During your opponent’s monologue, you should not neglect questions, clarifications, or manifestations of emotions. This demonstrates caring. Today a person listened to his interlocutor, and tomorrow he will pay attention to him.
Bringing out your best qualities
How to become an interesting person? There are all kinds of advice, but most recommendations say: you need to be careful and notice every little detail. There is something to talk about with any person, the main thing is to find a topic, the source of which is the interlocutor himself. You just need to take a closer look at it. Did you notice a few hairs on his T-shirt? Then it’s worth casually asking if your interlocutor has a cat. He will immediately become interested in the interlocutor - he will at least be intrigued by the person’s observation skills. And then the topic can be developed. This is where education and reading are needed. People who know a lot are able to easily and imperceptibly move from one topic to another and reason in such a way that it will not be boring. Dialogue with them rarely reaches a dead end. But even if everything has already been discussed, they have a trump card. And these are questions. The kind that can spark a new round of dialogue.
It is enough just to ask what else, in addition to what was agreed, the interlocutor is interested in, or what he would like to do. Even without keeping questions in mind, you can always get your bearings. The question should only show the interlocutor its significance. Few people don't like to talk about themselves. The main thing is to be sincerely interested in them.
Personal opinion
There is one more nuance that every person who cares about how to become more interesting should learn. Tips and recommendations are numerous, and most of them say: you need to remember your own opinion. A person who has a personal point of view regarding something is always of interest if his judgment is objective, justified and reasoned. A person who is able to clearly, competently and accessiblely explain to others his understanding of something, his desires and emotions, is a valuable interlocutor.
And here it is important, first of all, to be able to correctly express your thoughts. Opinions are often shared with people who have different ideas about certain things. Therefore, you need to construct an explanation in such a way that everyone understands the essence and feels the sensation experienced by the opponent.
But that's not all. It is also important not to be afraid to speak up. Some people prefer to remain silent or simply agree in convenient situations. But this quality does not distinguish a person. What makes a person more interesting and colorful is the ability to speak out, especially if he does it competently.
Positive
Cheerful people always make people feel good about themselves. This must be remembered if a person is interested in how to become an interesting person. With a good sense of humor, you definitely won’t have to go to hell. After all, this is a valuable human ability to find something comical in almost every situation.
Plus, it is the ability to joke (and at the right moment) that makes a person the soul of the company. Such people are cheerful and funny, they do not hesitate to appear funny, and it is also not difficult for them to defuse the situation with an appropriate anecdote or witticism.
How to develop this skill in yourself? You need to constantly practice and learn from famous comedians, joke about yourself and laugh at problems. And don’t stress too much. Usually only in a relaxed state does an appropriate joke come to mind. If a person sits in tension and actively thinks about what to say so witty, it usually doesn’t turn out very well.
Openness
How to become an interesting person? For men and women who want to appear more socially attractive, there is one more universal piece of advice. They should be more open, which is sometimes difficult for many.
Socially open people sociable and sincere. They share their thoughts, feelings and experiences with others. They have no internal barrier that could prevent them from being with people as they are. They do not hide their inner world. And that's what makes them interesting. They can be compared with open an interesting book, which you want to read as soon as possible. People are attracted to such personalities. After all, many of them would often like to become so open.
How to turn into such a person? Very simple. We need to get rid of masks, stereotypes and stop worrying about what others will say. Then the person will become not only more open, but also happier.