People with whom it is interesting to communicate have been valued at all times, starting with the cave people. After all, there is no greater pleasure for a person than to talk with his own kind, at the same time to show himself and listen to others. In general, a good conversationalist is a great rarity, and when you discover it, you feel an incomparable pleasure. Most of the people among whom our lives flow are either unable to put two words together, at least to do it logically and excitingly, or they are filled with nightingales, but are fixated on themselves, their loved ones, and are ready to devote dozens of hours to describing their boring life circumstances.
Is it possible to learn to be interesting conversationalist, if by nature you have neither eloquence nor special charm? Psychologists say it is possible. After all, the main quality that people value in communication partners is not the ability to speak beautifully, but the ability to listen well. And anyone can master this wisdom, especially if they have the desire.
What else should a person do in order to be considered a pleasant conversationalist and invariably gather interesting and popular personalities around him?
- Ask. We have already realized that the main thing people need is our interest. Observing our sincere interest in our person, people feel significant and worthy of admiration. And this is pleasant for everyone. To emphasize your interest in the words of your interlocutor, it is not enough just to listen to what he says. You need to ask questions that are relevant to the course of the plot: “What is he? What about her? What then? And how did they react to this? etc. It’s also good to nod your head, dilate your pupils in surprise and make exclamations of approval.
Say compliments and other nice things. Approve appearance, behavior and life attitudes of the narrator. You like it all, don't you? If not, then why are you communicating with this person? Find yourself another, more congenial interlocutor. In your desire to be an interesting conversationalist, you don’t need to go too far and listen to the speeches of those who are not interesting to you. Conversation is a two-way process and both parties should have fun. If this happens, don't hesitate to put it into words.
- Observe your interlocutor. Maybe he's bored and wants to change the subject? Ask a question from another area that you think might be of interest to him. Tell us something yourself, look at his reaction. If he responds promptly, continue to develop the topic, ask his opinion on certain issues. If your pitch doesn't get traction, try something else. Talk about his friends, family, hobbies. Some topic will definitely be of interest to him.
If you are tired of listening and admiring, and you want to be heard now, this can also be arranged.
Learn to express your thoughts and opinions logically, easily and beautifully. If you are silent by nature or tongue-tied, you can and should fight this. You can start with a letter. Writing is easier than speaking: the situation is calm, there is no tension, there is time to think about elegant formulations. It doesn’t matter what you write: a diary, a personal blog, a detective story or an essay on a free topic. Even the result is not of paramount importance. The main thing is practice. You can develop the ability to express what you think with regular practice. When you learn to communicate in writing, it will not be so difficult for you to switch to a coherent oral speech.
- Practice talking. This is advice for inexperienced interlocutors who get lost in company, begin to mumble something indistinctly, insert remarks out of place and are often ready to fall into the ground. If you are afraid of everyone's attention and at the same time passionately desire it (not such a rare combination), first practice in front of the mirror. Choose an arbitrary topic, maybe at random, by opening a dictionary or book, and start developing it. The topic could be captive breeding of kangaroos or how an electric bicycle works. It doesn't matter. Don’t worry, no one can see you, you can talk complete nonsense and nonsense, the main thing is to do it easily and confidently. If you are afraid that they will hear you and call the paramedics, make sure you have privacy: check doors, windows and hidden places for bugs. You can record your speech on a voice recorder. This will make it easier for you to discover all the shortcomings of your oratory and correct them in order to be an interesting interlocutor.
- Read. To develop the ability to speak and tell stories, it is very useful to study examples: classics and modern literature, women's novels and police detectives, glossy magazines and political newspapers. In all this printed material you can find the element you need - a coherent and captivating speech. Adopt the experience of storytellers, use new words and interesting topics to increase your own status as an interesting interlocutor.
- Stay up to date. If you haven't watched the new film with Tom Cruise or read Pelevin's recently released novel, you won't have anything to discuss with your friends. Of course, if your friends are interested in these particular characters. Follow the latest news in sports or politics, on Facebook or YouTube, in glossy magazine or on the Fashion channel. And then they will contact you to learn something new, discuss events, and find out your opinion. At first, if you are an inexperienced talker, you can prepare your opinion in advance. But under no circumstances should you stop at this stage. Develop not only your speech, but also your brain. Have your own opinion on all issues.
- Develop a sense of humor. A witty interlocutor especially attracts attention, both of his own and of the opposite sex. And in our time, wit is especially valued, it’s not for nothing that KVN and Comedy Club are so popular, and every self-respecting channel has its own sketch show and other humorous delights. Acquiring wit or at least a reputation as a person with a sense of humor is difficult, but not impossible. Study primary sources. Read Ilf and Petrov, listen to the Humor FM radio and watch TV, there’s a lot of funny stuff there, and not always in humorous programs. At first, you can use blanks: learned jokes, jokes heard somewhere, funny stories happened to others. Just don’t force them into the conversation. Wait for the right moment to make a splash and hear a burst of laughter.
- Be yourself. But in its best, positive and optimistic version. If you are overcome by problems, there is no need to burden others with them with a gloomy expression on your face. Either remain silent, or talk about what happened with humor. This will not only amuse your interlocutors, but will also help you abstract from the situation and look at it from a different angle. Enjoy your communication; it is always noticeable and pleasant to those with whom you spend time. If that doesn't work, spend your time in some other way. There is no need to force yourself to do what you don’t want, this will inevitably lead to the accumulation of tension and damage to character and behavior.
There are many people in the world who feel shy when communicating with other people, especially strangers, for fear of seeming uninteresting or boring. How can you be an interesting conversationalist and not be afraid of communication? We offer you some advice.
To be more interesting when communicating, start changing yourself. Perhaps not only from the inside, but also from the outside. Think it might be worth updating your wardrobe or even choosing new style clothes? Try to highlight your individuality. If a person is very shy, he is recommended to use bright colors in clothes. They will add self-confidence and make you a more visible person among others. Also, if possible, consult with image professionals.
It will be useful to attend events where they conduct research on topics about love, family, career and others. The knowledge you gain at such events will help you better understand the psychology of relationships and suggest new topics to keep the conversation going.
Strive to expand your knowledge. Start reading classic literature, take an interest in various fields of activity, and always be aware of the latest world events. It is unlikely that they will want to communicate with you again if you constantly talk about topics that concern only you. If you know some new information, you should not tell it right away. People will think that you are a bore and a know-it-all, and will avoid communicating with you in the future. Just find the right moment to keep the conversation going on this particular topic.
To be an interesting conversationalist, you also need to be able to listen. Use in conversation the phrases “I agree with you,” “I understand you,” etc. If you really want to win over your interlocutor, use the phrases “I would never have thought of that,” “that’s just brilliant.”
Anyone who can listen competently will definitely attract the attention of others. Why? But because each person is most interested in only one topic. This, of course, is his own person. By talking with a person only about him, listening to him with great attention and interest, inserting various phrases of approval during the conversation, you will not even notice that you have become an interesting interlocutor for him.
And if you wanted to start a conversation with stranger but don't know what to talk about? In such a situation, start the conversation with neutral topics that anyone will respond to. These are topics such as: weather, work, family, hobbies, recreation. First, ask about the weather, but don't ask whether the other person likes the weather today. It would be better to start the conversation, for example, with such a neutral exclamation: “What a beautiful winter this year!” Such a remark will good start for further conversation.
Always look your interlocutor in the eyes. This is very important if you want the conversation to be good and pleasant. If you are a shy person and cannot look your interlocutor in the eyes, then you need to learn how to do this. During a conversation, you should always look into the eyes of your interlocutor to show that you have nothing to hide. Also try to smile more often. Your kind smile will be proof of good intentions towards your interlocutor.
And, finally, advice for those people who find any flaws in their appearance. If it is not possible to hide these shortcomings, try to draw the attention of people around you to your positive qualities. This way, you will win people over and raise your self-esteem. For example, you short stature, but by nature you are a kind and broad-minded person. Don’t think about growth, it’s better to show people that they can always count on your help.
To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, expand your horizons. With an erudite person there is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a passion for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At a minimum, you will always be interesting to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself entirely to his hobby often becomes successful and receives recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to huge amount people. Be a well-rounded person. Being deeply passionate about one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Be interested in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. You need to learn something new throughout your life; this is the only way to avoid personality degradation. Share your knowledge with others - this is the meaning of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, you and I will each have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you a very interesting person. Accept and love yourself as you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, “the whole Universe is hidden in every person.” Look at yourself from the outside, identify your strengths and develop them. Don't hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication are the most reliable way gain fans and friends. Anyone who knows how to make a joke at the right time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be the center of attention!
Interesting personality attractive to others. It’s a pleasure to communicate with a bright, extraordinary, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to listen and carry on a conversation, he amazes with his charisma and love of life, has an excellent sense of humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, learn the basic qualities interesting people.
Development
To be an interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study issues that interest you, expand your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world are worthy of attention, and at the same time how often you can meet boring, narrow-minded people. Don’t be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.
Find your calling. A charismatic personality strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find a professional field in which your talents are useful, or become interested in some activity in free time, which means you can infect other people with your own enthusiasm.
Interesting people are those who love their work and are happy to immerse themselves in it headlong.
Try to be a well-rounded person. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. Limited people are not as interesting to others as addicted people.
The art of conversation
Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become a great conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve your storytelling and listening skills.
To become a good storyteller, you need to learn to express your own thoughts beautifully, correctly and accurately. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and speaking will help you master this talent.
In addition, you should learn to notice interesting details and become more attentive.
Eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person, will help you in your listening skills. Of course, there is no need to interrupt the speaker.
Self-acceptance
A person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see the virtues in yourself first and foremost. It’s better to forget about shortcomings that you cannot correct.
Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love from others. Be a self-sufficient person, and people will be drawn to you. Strong people who are not looking for approval, but simple communication, are truly interesting to others.
Under any circumstances, try to remain yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend your own point of view. Learn to resist unwanted influence and manipulation, maintain your originality. A charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow his chosen path.
- Who do you look up to and why? How does this person make the world a better place? Can you do the same?
- What qualities do you admire in this person and can you develop them in yourself?
- Always have a role model in your mind to inspire you. Think about how that person would react to a question or event and respond that way.
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Stop comparing yourself to others. Try to understand that many people have it better than you, but many have it much worse. If a person feels unhappy due to comparison with others, he is wasting time and energy that could be spent on developing his personality. Praise yourself every morning. Good mood makes you a more positive person and helps you spread kindness to the world.
Love yourself. Learn to love yourself. Embrace your identity. The only way to love others is to first accept and love yourself. You should feel good about what you do for yourself and what you believe in, not just what you do for others. If you try to do things for others while forgetting about yourself, it will result in resentment, anger and depression. If you love yourself, you will be able to sincerely help others.
- Are you trying to artificially impose on yourself the qualities of a good person? If inside you hate yourself and are angry at the whole world, you cannot be considered a good person, even if you commit good deeds.
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Be yourself. Always be yourself and don't try to pretend to be someone else. Don't act like someone else. Be yourself and do what you can do. This way you will be a sincere person who can give goodness to the world. If you are true to yourself, you will be able to understand what you believe in and what you consider important.
Meditate and/or pray. Prayers higher powers or meditation will help you develop the qualities you need. Meditation and prayer will allow you to find inner peace and focus on your inner world. As you understand yourself better, you will discover what you really want and gain clarity in your life. When you become calmer, you will feel better, and this will help you become a better person.
Start with small changes. Change cannot happen overnight, but small changes go a long way. Every month or every two months, set a goal to break one or two habits that you don't like.
- Example goal 1: “I will listen to others without interrupting with words or gestures.” Think about how unpleasant it would be for you if someone tried to say something while you were still speaking.
- Goal 2: “I will try to think about what will make the other person happy.” It is okay to share food or drinks with people when they are hungry or thirsty; you can give way or do something else.
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Review your goals daily. To become a good person, it is important to reread your list of desirable qualities every day. It must become a part of you. Follow the advice from this article, and also come up with something new of your own.
Be honest. Lying destroys trust and ruins relationships. Don't lie to others - be honest with them. good people They don’t lie, they speak directly about their thoughts and feelings. Instead of lying and involving someone else in difficult situation, tell me exactly what you think. Don't be passive aggressive.
Make small acts of kindness a habit. Simple little things will help you become better. Smile at someone or hold the door. Very soon it will become a habit that you won’t even think about.
Show empathy. Remember that kindness, understanding and compassion are the result of loving and caring for others. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and assess the situation from their point of view. Think about how you would feel if you were that person. You will likely begin to consider other people's feelings. This will show in your words and actions. Be a good person not to appear good in the eyes of others, but so that it will benefit others.
- Don't always try to be diplomatic. Don't be afraid of possible difficulties.
Find out what it means to you personally to be a good person. Some people think that just not doing harm to others is enough, but goodness is often expressed in what you do for others, not in what you don't do. Good man must help both himself and others. You must decide what it means to you to be a good person.
Choose a role model for yourself. This way you can look up to someone. This person should have the character traits that you want to have. Think about how you can adopt these traits and apply them to your work, creativity, relationships, lifestyle, and nutrition.
Interaction with others
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Accept everyone around you. To become a good person, it is important not to judge others. A good person accepts everyone, regardless of their race, age, sexual orientation, gender and culture. Remember that everyone has feelings, that every person is valuable and worthy of respect.
- Respect older people. Don't forget that someday you too will get old and you will need help. Next time you find yourself in shopping center, in a parking lot or anywhere else, look around for an elderly person who needs help (such as with bags). Offer your help - he will appreciate it. If the person refuses, apologize and wish him Have a good day. If somewhere you meet old man, smile at him and ask how his day is going. This may be enough to make a person feel better.
- Show compassion for people with mental disabilities. They also have feelings. Smile at them and treat them like people worthy of respect. If someone laughs at you, ignore it and continue to communicate with the person who is your true friend.
- Don't be racist, don't be homophobic and be tolerant of other religions. The world is multifaceted. Learn new things from other people and enjoy this diversity.
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Control your anger. If you argue with someone, keep your anger under control. When arguing about something with a friend, don’t be rude, but don’t hide your feelings either. Talk to the person and solve the problem. It’s better not to take your anger out on each other, but to take a break and think about the problem. Try saying this: “I want to look into this because you are my friend. Let’s not talk about this for a while - we need to think about it.”
Praise other people. Nice words are an easy way to create a friendly atmosphere. Praise new hairstyle colleagues and a passerby's dog on the street. Compliment friends you envy. Praising what is worthy of praise is very good, and you would probably want your successes to be noted by others too.
Listen carefully to others. Many people rarely listen to the words of others. Everyone wants to matter and be valued. Listen to people. Follow the person's story. Don't be distracted by external stimuli and don't look at your phone.
Many people are interested in how to become an interesting conversationalist, what needs to be done for this, what methods, methods and recommendations there are. After all, being excellent and interesting is very useful when communicating; it allows you to be more confident, find new acquaintances, friends, and at the same time become better and more successful.
In this article you will learn how become interesting interlocutor, what are the secrets of psychologists, tips and recommendations to learn how to communicate with all people and be interesting to everyone. We are all different and each person needs a different approach; this article will help you develop this feeling if you apply all the advice in practice.
Learn to listen
To become an interesting conversationalist, you just need to learn to listen to the person who is communicating with you. We all love to talk about ourselves and our problems, and if you lower your ego and allow your interlocutor to express his thoughts and opinions, he will see that you know how to listen and you will become a better interlocutor for him, even if you personally do not know how to communicate either.
Talk about what people need, not what you need
To become an interesting conversationalist, stop being selfish and thinking only about yourself. Start the conversation by solving someone else's problems and end the conversation by solving your problems. Then you and your interlocutor will remain on excellent terms and solve all your and his problems. Many are only interested in their own problems and, as a result, cannot solve anything.
Be like your interlocutor
To become interesting interlocutor, you need to remember that people like people who are similar to them. Therefore, try to adapt to each interlocutor, while remaining confident in yourself. Copy the voice, tempo, intonation and behavior of the interlocutor and then it will become easier for him to communicate with you and you will find common language to solve problems.
Communicate with people more often
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to try, experiment and not be afraid of being rejected. Fear prevents us from communicating with others and, accordingly, our self-confidence decreases. To raise it and become a better communicator, don’t be afraid to communicate with different people, don’t be afraid to intrude and try to help people. Communicate with those who share the same opinions about life with you and are interested in your advice and suggestions.
Use a smile
Support your interlocutor
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to maintain a conversation and share opinions with the interlocutor. If he is wrong, you don’t have to tell him about it unless he asks you to. Keep the truth to yourself and then you won't offend anyone. But if you need to make a decision and the wrong point of view is imposed on you, you should not hide it. But don't just tell the truth, but turn to facts and evidence. Don't waste time arguing and criticizing.