The psychology of relations between husband and wife is a fairly popular topic. Only the queries “how to get your husband back”, “husband cheating”, “quarrels in relationships” total hundreds of thousands. Most often, women try to improve family relationships on their own using the Internet. There are many ways: get help from a psychologist online, participate in a webinar, take the course “Psychology of relationships between husband and wife.”
Agree - not each of us is destined to find true love to life for the first time. Some saw that “no is not a hit”, and the relationship is not fulfilled, quickly throws it on the table for divorce and go in search of happiness, etc. - long-suffering, as it hopes that the relationship will improve, however, if the stove in the house breaks more often, the neighbors should call the police. Your cats and dogs will be interesting only if you repeat yourself very rarely, but everyday arguments and barns are very annoying, they take away the joy of life from a person.
Don't break the dishes - in case of divorce you will need both of them. Don't get angry, insult yourself, and don't let emotions and bad faith destroy all the feelings that bind you. Even if you stand out, maintain respect, warmth and wonderful memories.
But often only one side is active in this matter, hoping that the acquired knowledge and experience will help change the husband and convince him to behave differently. How many years have you been trying to change him or her? It turns out? Find any person in your environment whom you are not trying to reshape in your own way, and you have normal human relationships. Why not build a family based on the same principle - accepting a person as he is?
If you want to save your marriage, seek help from a family psychologist, talk a lot, resolve conflicts respectfully and politely. If you don’t see any prospects for building a family, and love has long left your heart, it’s time to separate. And what crises have shaken your families? Share your relationship stories with comments.
Probably curious what their psychology is like. However, according to most psychologists who consult psychologists and psychologists, psychology is very similar to the psychology of women. And the idea that men couldn't talk to women and women to men was in to the greatest extent inspired by the book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.”
There are different types of psychology of relations between husband and wife:
- Rivalry. In public, one of the spouses tries to present himself in the best light,
- Revenge or evil. Everything is clear here without explanation. Answer the first thing that comes to your mind: “What is the motive “for evil!” did you do to your husband/wife?” But this is not even the main thing, but for what purpose did you commit the act? What does this give you? Feeling of superiority, assertion of one's own self? To do this, did you have to get married or get married?..
- Relationships of control and accountability,
- Jealousy,
- Constant humiliation and insults, playing executioner and victim,
- A game of silence, so as not to disturb the family idyll with quarrels. To remain silent about what you are dissatisfied with, what you don’t like, or what has touched a nerve - the cup of patience has never been bottomless. And then, “out of nowhere”, dislike for the other half appears, hatred, reluctance to be in the same space,
- Finding a protector in your husband
- For social authority. After all, if you don’t start a family at 40, people will laugh. Well, if you don’t feel like getting married or getting married, what’s criminal about that? And people, by the way, can laugh for any reason, which free man that of a respectable family man.
As you can see, love and mutual respect are far from true. What to do? First, understand for yourself what family roles are. You may object that, supposedly, at the peak of passion, when hormones are off the charts, what kind of roles are we talking about? Your truth. And it is also that the divorce rate every year also exceeds all acceptable values. Although there are young couples who have equal parts love and prudence, and in addition an understanding that there will be more responsibility and care for the other person. And not a la endless honeymoon, and almost everything goes wrong - insults, accusations, insults and divorce. The psychology of the relationship between husband and wife is daily work to create a prosperous family and, as an integral part of this, work on oneself.
The title of the book alone states that we are so different that we can say that they come from different planets: from Mars and from Venus. The name sounds, but most psychologists say that there are many more differences between the same personality than different genders. This means that we can basically find more differences between characters different people than between a man and a woman in general.
However, there are some differences between men and women. So dear women, you can learn more about your people. And, of course, you men will be able to learn more about yourself. Select a partner by appearance. Nature has already been created so that people or other male animals strive to bring to the world as many and healthy offspring as possible. Men subconsciously look for women who can bring as many healthy children as possible. The basic and quick criterion to determine whether a woman is suitable for female enhancement is appearance.
There are several simple rules in the psychology of a good relationship between husband and wife.
I agree that fulfilling them is not always easy, but if family is important to you, then what are we talking about:
- Be sincere with each other. Say immediately what you don’t like, but not in the form of a complaint, but starting with the words “I don’t like”, “I don’t want”, “I don’t agree”. Any dissatisfaction with life begins with oneself - and ends there, by the way. Explain what you don’t like about your husband, the situation that happened and why? Often, when spouses speak out right away, the conversation proceeds calmly, without a raised tone. And what’s most interesting: in a conversation, the showdown gradually becomes boring,
- Allow your partner to maintain personal space. If a wife wants to read a book alone or a husband goes fishing by himself, this is everyone’s right to free time and space. Don't force yourself.
- Find common interests and hobbies. If in a routine schedule of home-work-home each spouse is on their own, and at home they only sleep and eat, very soon one of them will think about finding a “soul mate.” And help each other in joint activities: pour tea, help with cleaning or preparing dinner, packing for vacation, caring for children and parents, whatever. It happens that in difficult circumstances, family relationships are saved only by mutual help and love,
- Be yourself and don't neglect your personal interests. If you like to spend your free time at home, and he likes to spend his free time in nature, you don’t have to step on your own throat and pretend that you want to go out of town. The psychology of relations between husband and wife is based on one golden rule - everything (!) can be agreed upon. If there is love in the family, then you can find a way out for both one preference and another,
- The relationship between husband and wife is not about being perfect for each other. People come together to live in comfort, first of all, spiritual comfort. Instead of putting on makeup early in the morning or being perfectly shaved,
- Say “thank you.” More often, for any daily little things. This simple word carries a positive assessment of the partner and confirmation of his/her care and love,
In a relationship, accept your husband or wife as they are. Don't break a person - he/she is not made of iron. Besides, you're not perfect either. And you probably rear up when someone tries to brush your hair with someone else’s comb, - And most importantly, make sure that you love not only your partner, but also yourself. Games of self-sacrifice will not last long. He who loves himself always looks at his surroundings with love. Otherwise, the phrases “you ruined my whole life!”, “I put so much effort into you!”, “yes, I’m everything to you, and you!” are just around the corner! “You must love yourself without thinking about whether you deserve love or not. You are alive - and that is proof enough that you deserve love, just as you deserve to breathe. You're not asking whether you deserve the right to breathe or not. Love is almost invisible nourishment for the soul, just as food is nourishment for the body. And if you are filled with self-love, then you will be able to love others.” Osho.
Thus, the long-known saying that men choose their eyes is true. What kind of woman looks like a man? First of all, women are distinctive features men, whose characteristics most often reflect youth and health. More prone to non-committal relationships.
Men are more interested in non-committal relationships than women. They are more likely to think about short-term overnight adventures. In general, men would like to have more sexual relations with different partners throughout life.
The family model, the system of relationships, the psychology of relationships between husband and wife, children and parents in one way or another reflect the principles of relationships between people accepted in a particular society. The rules that guided people when creating a family in the past and those that influence the choice of a couple in our time seem incompatible.
Today, when choosing a marriage partner, people strive, to a greater extent than before, for understanding, love, and experiencing common joys and interests. Children become not only heirs and a guarantee material well-being for elderly parents. The family associates the birth of a baby with the desire for happiness and development.
However, it would be inappropriate to think of people as dangerous types who are only tempted to use a woman's body. Although we humans have some needs of nature, it does not mean that we have to comply with them. So, while men have more desires and ideas about relationship non-compliance, that doesn't mean they will behave the same way. Typically, men evaluate the consequences of such relationships and do not give in only to the temptations of the body and mind.
Men tend to move physically faster than women. They think a lot about love in the past. Women feel and notice this, probably hence the saying that “men only want sex.” There is a rumor in America that 98% of people masturbate and the other two percent is a lie that they don't trip. Research shows a lower number. 38 percent of adult women indicate that they have masturbated within the past year.
Covers a wide range of topics:
- marital problems;
- parent-child relationships;
- relationships between generations.
Psychologists in this area are engaged in consultations and correction of relationships, diagnostics and determination of the direction of family development, and study intrafamily relationships from the perspective of their influence on personality development.
Men are far ahead of men, with 68 percent having masturbated within the past year. adult men. The number of harmful men begins to decline when he reaches the fiftieth year of life. The marriage feels happier. Regardless of age, more men than women feel happier. It's interesting that men have positive influence for both successful and unsuccessful marriages. And this marriage has a completely opposite experience than women. Women only have better mental health and better health in a successful marriage.
Psychology family relations covers a wide range of issues
Knowledge of certain patterns helps the practical psychology of family relationships in working with specific married couples.
The most common problems in the psychology of relationships between husband and wife
Even quite prosperous families face problems that require professional psychological help. Oddly enough, these may be situations related to the desire to protect loved ones and help them. This results in overprotection, obsession, and excessive control in relation to relatives.
Because men are more likely to experience anxiety during conflicts. Women often categorize their husbands as good and not so good good relationship, and they often want the best. Therefore, women often find themselves at home as conflict shifters. Women tend to solve relationship problems, sometimes even sacrificing their physical health and good psychological well-being. Physical aggression is most often expressed.
Men are more likely to express physical aggression. Researchers raise two main points: why men are more violent than women. Firstly, from childhood boys receive toys that reflect aggression, such as various guns, scars, etc. therefore, they learn from childhood that male aggression is more acceptable than female aggression. In addition, parents tolerate the aggressiveness of boys more than girls. In fairy tales, the main characters of power are male relatives. Also, often in fairy tales, people who use force are considered heroes, such as the prince who slayed the dragon and saved the princess.
Even quite prosperous families face problems
Conflict situations can also be generated by a discrepancy between one’s own views on family relationships and the demands made by society.
Dysfunctional families can be roughly divided as follows:
Secondly, and these days, the more hypotheses put forward by scientists, it is that male aggression is closely related to the hormone in their body, testosterone. Currently, most scientists believe that this is the most important reason why men are more likely to use physical aggression. It is important that even in cultures that promote different messages about aggression, and where there are no aggression toys for boys, men are still more likely to use physical aggression.
Additionally, testosterone levels in the body have been shown to be associated with competitive and criminal behavior, e.g. nevertheless, more people based on testosterone tend to compete more. In addition, more testosterone-based people are more likely to engage in criminal behavior. In America, 92 percent of serial killers are men.
- conflict;
- crisis;
- problematic.
In the event of a clash of interests, needs, intentions of husband and wife or children and parents (conflict family), intrafamily relationships are characterized by strong and prolonged severe emotional states. Concessions and compromise solutions, as well as professional consultations on the psychology of family relationships, make it possible to preserve a marriage for a long time and normalize the internal climate of the microsociety.
Are humorous men so aggressive, but women are not? In fact, physical aggression is more obvious for men. However, women do not express their aggressiveness in non-physical ways, for example, using verbal aggression: challenge, insult, laughter, etc.
Usually said by women who are dating their friends. Meanwhile, men who date want to do something more than anything else. They are interested in joint actions, common “campaigns”. Please note that it is very common for women to play sports, or sometimes take a girlfriend, to have fun and to be able to advertise their sports activities.
Be sure to read
Psychology of relations between husband and wife
Particularly difficult life circumstances that affect the existence of a family and can destroy a marriage give rise to so-called problem families. This could be a long-term serious illness of someone close, insufficient financial situation of the family, or even the conviction of a family member for a crime.
Men sometimes play one at a time. However, if they don't play alone, they often play team games: basketball, football, where it's not so much the spell but them working together. Feel free to contact for psychological help. The results of a study conducted by Martin and colleagues show that men are more likely to think that they will view the public negatively if they seek help from a psychologist. Therefore, dear women, show that you accept your partners with all their shortcomings and let them understand that you will be happier if they call for help and take care of themselves.
A common cause of problems is lack of housing. A key sign of the possibility of building strong relationships or solving existing problems is the internal readiness of family members to jointly solve problems and coordinated actions.
Such family cohesion is facilitated by the presence of common interests and the directed efforts of the family leader.
Dear men, calling for help is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, sometimes there is a lot of determination and strength to recognize the need for help. So if you see that you need help, build your resolve and take care of yourself to feel better. And when you feel better, the people in you and around you will feel better.
Men are more suicidal than women. Men are more likely to talk about difficulties and ask for help when they need it. Somewhat less likely to be heard, but still used the words: "Men don't cry" or "Be a man, won't you." Often men accept this message and try not to show in any way that it is sometimes too emotionally difficult for them. People often think about suicidal thoughts by sending indirect signs that they are thinking about it. It is important to notice this and not be afraid to respond to these signs.
The study of the psychology of relations between husband and wife made it possible to identify factors that cause the main difficulties in family life:
- Choosing a future spouse.
- The nature of premarital relationships.
- Features of making the decision to start a family.
The combination of these circumstances has a significant impact on the possibility of mutual understanding between spouses, the strength of the family and the likelihood of its disintegration.
You can be most helpful in dealing with complex suicidal ideation and, if necessary, seek advice from a mental health professional or psychiatrist. By the way, don't forget that there is a free "24-hour call" to talk through difficult events. Family "floods" and "tropics".
According to the latest statistics, every third family in Lithuania is different. One of the reasons for divorce is that people do not know the laws of development of certain relationships and characteristics family life, and most importantly, that crises are an integral part of family life. A relationship is like an ocean: the flood comes after the tide, and this relationship of satisfaction and hesitation of the spouse is a natural process.