To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, expand your horizons. With an erudite person there is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a passion for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At a minimum, you will always be interesting to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself entirely to his hobby often becomes successful and receives recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to huge amount of people. Be a well-rounded person. Being deeply passionate about one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Be interested in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. You need to learn something new throughout your life; this is the only way to avoid personality degradation. Share your knowledge with others - this is the meaning of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, you and I will each have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you a very interesting person. Accept and love yourself as you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, “the whole Universe is hidden in every person.” Look at yourself from the outside, identify your strengths and develop them. Don't hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication are the most reliable way gain fans and friends. Anyone who knows how to make a joke at the right time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be the center of attention!
Interesting person attractive to others. It’s a pleasure to communicate with a bright, extraordinary, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to listen and carry on a conversation, he amazes with his charisma and love of life, has an excellent sense of humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, learn the basic qualities interesting people.
Development
To be interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study issues that interest you, expand your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world are worthy of attention, and at the same time how often you can meet boring, narrow-minded people. Don’t be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.
Find your calling. A charismatic personality strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find a professional field in which your talents are useful, or become interested in some activity in free time, which means you can infect other people with your own enthusiasm.
Interesting people are those who love their work and are happy to immerse themselves in it headlong.
Try to be a well-rounded person. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. Limited people are not as interesting to others as addicted people.
The art of conversation
Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become a great conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve your storytelling and listening skills.
To become a good storyteller, you need to learn to express your own thoughts beautifully, correctly and accurately. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and writing will help you master this talent. oral speech.
In addition, you should learn to notice interesting details and become more attentive.
Eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person, will help you in your listening skills. Of course, there is no need to interrupt the speaker.
Self-acceptance
A person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see the virtues in yourself first and foremost. It’s better to forget about shortcomings that you cannot correct.
Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love from others. Be a self-sufficient person, and people will be drawn to you. Strong people Those who are not looking for approval, but for simple communication, are truly interesting to others.
Under any circumstances, try to remain yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend your own point of view. Learn to resist unwanted influence and manipulation, maintain your originality. A charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow his chosen path.
However, despite the fact that most people know how to speak, unfortunately, not all of us are able to be interesting interlocutors with whom other people would like to spend hours of free time, just to hear the next phrase from our lips. So how do we become great speakers who can manipulate, make people laugh and simply make their audience fall in love with just a few of the right words?
Oddly enough, becoming an eloquent rhetorician is very simple, despite the fact that it will take many years to achieve mastery in this craft. The basis of speech that is interesting to others, first of all, is such a concept as “surprise”. Yes, it is precisely because of the ability to surprise listeners with every next sentence that we become interesting and, in a sense, attractive speakers. For example, would it be interesting to watch magic tricks when you knew perfectly well how each piece of the trick was done and what to expect at the end of the next magic act? Of course not! The same thing applies to the ability to speak - you can consider yourself as cheerful a person as you like, but if you spend days telling the same jokes that you read in the book “101 most funny joke”, no one will smile, but will simply go to listen to a lecture, for example, on rudimentary reflexes or quantum physics in life ordinary person.
The second most important lesson to learn before you start dreaming of becoming a great rhetorician is that you should never try to talk about something you don't know. It is quite possible that you do not have deep knowledge in any matter, except for one. So try to surprise people with what you know on this issue, and do not seek universal recognition by maintaining communication on topics that you have just heard for the first time in your life. Many people ask what to do at a time when a topic that is known and understandable to you cannot be changed, just as you cannot simply remain silent. The answer, as always, is simple - the skill of self-criticism will help you. Simply put, if you are faced with a situation where you are forced to carry on a conversation about something that you do not know, try to take advantage of your ignorance and instead of answering, ask others questions on the topic at hand, you can even try to use your cunning and ask your interlocutors something something on this topic that they will be forced to think about and try for a long time to find an answer, with which you can add a little spice, but also interest to your communication. If you cannot do this, then you can simply translate the question asked to you, in the form of a joke, to some other person in your group.
And finally, the third most important skill that any speaker who is more or less popular in society possesses is courage and the absence of excessive modesty. You always need to remember that when you say something, you are pronouncing words, phrases and whole sentences in front of people like yourself, who can just get up and start talking in such a way that they will quickly forget about you and you will be forced to sit stand aside and quietly sip tea, while some Vasya Petrov from the factory amuses and makes everyone around him laugh, and also amazes them with facts about some machine. Therefore, it is extremely important to remember that as soon as you open your mouth and utter the first sound, from that moment you turn into the king of the celebration and it depends only on you how long it will take before you are overthrown. How should a king rule? Correct - loud, clear, multifaceted, intelligent, and most importantly - fair. Based on this, we will formulate a formula for ideal rhetoric: good rhetoric = loud and clear speech + cultural, unexpected and interesting proposals to others.
Finally, I would like to note that the main thing is not to be afraid to speak and express your personal opinion, since people who are only able to agree with others have never been loved and will not be loved. Even if your opinion completely contradicts the thoughts of others, express everything as you think, and then you will, at a minimum, be respected for your courage to go against others, and if you “demonstrate” your contradictory opinion with the help of a wonderfully delivered speech, then your interlocutors will not say anything bad at all, but will only thank you for the wonderful minutes during which they listened to this magnificent, eloquent speech.
Each of us thinks about how to make a good impression on our interlocutors, be remembered by them, and arouse interest in further communication. Is it possible to develop such a skill as effective communication? Yes, even at home. Many people ask a question from their interlocutor, and there is a very clear answer to it, expressed in the form of recommendations.
Secondly, imagine that the interlocutor constantly talks about topics in which you understand absolutely nothing, and they, by and large, are not interesting to you. Naturally, such a conversation will not last long, and it is unlikely that you will want to return to this same person. Now we project the situation onto ourselves. How to become an interesting conversationalist? Discuss topics that are familiar and close to the other person, but do not neglect them own desires, otherwise you'll just get bored.
Thirdly, effective communication says that an interesting interlocutor is not distant during discussions, he reacts to what is said (nods his head, gestures), but, most importantly, looks not around, but at the person with whom he is communicating. This is very important, because harmless curiosity (“What is going on to my right?”) can lead to the fact that the interlocutor considers you rude, because you do not show respect and do not listen to the thought.
Let's look at another one next important aspect how to become an interesting conversationalist. The one who knows what stage the relationship is at and does not cross a certain boundary. There is no need to come too close to unfamiliar people and communicate with them “face to face”; it is necessary to maintain a public distance, as it is called in specialized literature. At the same time, you can communicate with a close person at a social or even intimate distance.
The manner of communication is also important, which depends on both the goals of the conversation and the relationship between people. Let's highlight such styles as friendly communication; creative (when interlocutors have a common goal); flirting (the desire to make a good impression on the audience, and this desire is aimed at gaining false, cheap authority, not supported by long-term relationships); distance and mentoring (emphasizing the difference between partners, be it the position held,
The manner of communication - mentoring - assumes that one interlocutor takes on the role of a mentor (shows the difference in experience) and considers it necessary to teach the other person something, in his opinion, correct and important.
Of course, no one likes it when teachings come into play, so this style should not be used in a close circle, especially with unfamiliar people. It is important to choose a manner that suits the situation, the environment and meets your goals. It is hardly worth arousing false sympathy from an audience that is not inclined, for example, to accept your point of view. Public distance and a friendly but cooler style are appropriate here.
Thus, it is obvious that there is no supernatural answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist. To begin with, be attentive to those who are in this moment surrounds you, show emotions about the statements made and do not try to win your interlocutor from the first second - get to know him better. Of course, it is very important to communicate more with different people, but if a person does not understand you, then why waste your energy on him.
It is much more pleasant to have conversations with friends or with those who are “on the same wavelength.” You can train on them on various topics, and although in situations with unfamiliar people everything is much more complicated, you gain experience, thanks to which, although not immediately, the fear of saying something wrong will disappear. The most important - lexicon, it must be replenished by reading books, otherwise no tricks and techniques will help you become an interesting interlocutor.
People with whom it is interesting to communicate have been valued at all times, starting with the cave people. After all, there is no greater pleasure for a person than to talk with his own kind, at the same time to show himself and listen to others. In general, a good conversationalist is a great rarity, and when you discover it, you feel an incomparable pleasure. Most of the people among whom our lives flow are either unable to put two words together, at least to do it logically and excitingly, or they are filled with nightingales, but are fixated on themselves, their loved ones, and are ready to devote dozens of hours to describing their boring life circumstances.
Is it possible to learn to be an interesting conversationalist if you naturally have neither eloquence nor special charm? Psychologists say it is possible. After all, the main quality that people value in communication partners is not the ability to speak beautifully, but the ability to listen well. And anyone can master this wisdom, especially if they have the desire.
What else should a person do in order to be considered a pleasant conversationalist and invariably gather interesting and popular personalities around him?
- Ask. We have already realized that the main thing people need is our interest. Observing our sincere interest in our person, people feel significant and worthy of admiration. And this is pleasant for everyone. To emphasize your interest in the words of your interlocutor, it is not enough just to listen to what he says. You need to ask questions that are relevant to the course of the plot: “What is he? What about her? What then? And how did they react to this? and so on. It’s also good to nod your head, dilate your pupils in surprise and make exclamations of approval.
Say compliments and other nice things. Approve appearance, behavior and life attitudes of the narrator. You like it all, don't you? If not, then why are you communicating with this person? Find yourself another, more congenial interlocutor. In your desire to be an interesting conversationalist, you don’t need to go too far and listen to the speeches of those who are not interesting to you. Conversation is a two-way process and both parties should have fun. If this happens, don't hesitate to put it into words.
- Observe your interlocutor. Maybe he's bored and wants to change the subject? Ask a question from another area that you think might be of interest to him. Tell us something yourself, look at his reaction. If he responds promptly, continue to develop the topic, ask his opinion on certain issues. If your pitch doesn't get traction, try something else. Talk about his friends, family, hobbies. Some topic will definitely be of interest to him.
If you are tired of listening and admiring, and you want to be heard now, this can also be arranged.
Learn to express your thoughts and opinions logically, easily and beautifully. If you are silent by nature or tongue-tied, you can and should fight this. You can start with a letter. Writing is easier than speaking: the situation is calm, there is no tension, there is time to think about elegant formulations. It doesn’t matter what you write: a diary, a personal blog, a detective story or an essay on a free topic. Even the result is not of paramount importance. The main thing is practice. You can develop the ability to express what you think with regular practice. Once you learn to communicate in writing, it will not be so difficult for you to move on to coherent oral speech.
- Practice talking. This is advice for inexperienced interlocutors who get lost in company, begin to mumble something indistinctly, insert remarks out of place and are often ready to fall into the ground. If you are afraid of everyone's attention and at the same time passionately desire it (not such a rare combination), first practice in front of the mirror. Choose an arbitrary topic, maybe at random, by opening a dictionary or book, and start developing it. The topic could be captive breeding of kangaroos or how an electric bicycle works. It doesn't matter. Don’t worry, no one can see you, you can talk complete nonsense and nonsense, the main thing is to do it easily and confidently. If you are afraid that they will hear you and call the paramedics, make sure you have privacy: check doors, windows and hidden places for bugs. You can record your speech on a voice recorder. This will make it easier for you to discover all the shortcomings of your oratory and correct them in order to be an interesting interlocutor.
- Read. To develop the ability to speak and tell stories, it is very useful to study examples: classics and modern literature, women's novels and police detectives, glossy magazines and political newspapers. In all this printed material you can find the element you need - a coherent and captivating speech. Adopt the experience of storytellers, use new words and interesting topics to increase your own status as an interesting interlocutor.
- Stay up to date. If you haven't watched the new film with Tom Cruise or read Pelevin's recently released novel, you won't have anything to discuss with your friends. Of course, if your friends are interested in these particular characters. Follow the latest news in sports or politics, on Facebook or YouTube, in glossy magazine or on the Fashion channel. And then they will contact you to learn something new, discuss events, and find out your opinion. At first, if you are an inexperienced talker, you can prepare your opinion in advance. But under no circumstances should you stop at this stage. Develop not only your speech, but also your brain. Have your own opinion on all issues.
- Develop a sense of humor. A witty interlocutor especially attracts attention, both of his own and of the opposite sex. And in our time, wit is especially valued, it’s not for nothing that KVN and Comedy Club are so popular, and every self-respecting channel has its own sketch show and other humorous delights. Acquiring wit or at least a reputation as a person with a sense of humor is difficult, but not impossible. Study primary sources. Read Ilf and Petrov, listen to the Humor FM radio and watch TV, there’s a lot of funny stuff there, and not always in humorous programs. At first, you can use blanks: learned jokes, jokes heard somewhere, funny stories happened to others. Just don’t force them into the conversation. Wait for the right moment to make a splash and hear a burst of laughter.
- Be yourself. But in its best, positive and optimistic version. If you are overcome by problems, there is no need to burden others with them with a gloomy expression on your face. Either remain silent, or talk about what happened with humor. This will not only amuse your interlocutors, but will also help you abstract from the situation and look at it from a different angle. Enjoy your communication; it is always noticeable and pleasant to those with whom you spend time. If that doesn't work, spend your time in some other way. There is no need to force yourself to do what you don’t want, this will inevitably lead to the accumulation of tension and damage to character and behavior.
Many people are interested in how to become an interesting conversationalist, what needs to be done for this, what methods, methods and recommendations there are. After all, being excellent and interesting is very useful when communicating; it allows you to be more confident, find new acquaintances, friends, and at the same time become better and more successful.
In this article you will learn how become interesting interlocutor, what are the secrets of psychologists, tips and recommendations to learn how to communicate with all people and be interesting to everyone. We are all different and each person needs a different approach; this article will help you develop this feeling if you apply all the advice in practice.
Learn to listen
To become an interesting conversationalist, you just need to learn to listen to the person who is communicating with you. We all love to talk about ourselves and our problems, and if you lower your ego and allow your interlocutor to express his thoughts and opinions, he will see that you know how to listen and you will become a better interlocutor for him, even if you personally do not know how to communicate either.
Talk about what people need, not what you need
To become an interesting conversationalist, stop being selfish and thinking only about yourself. Start the conversation by solving someone else's problems and end the conversation by solving your problems. Then you and your interlocutor will remain on excellent terms and solve all your and his problems. Many are only interested in their own problems and, as a result, cannot solve anything.
Be like your interlocutor
To become interesting interlocutor, you need to remember that people like people who are similar to them. Therefore, try to adapt to each interlocutor, while remaining confident in yourself. Copy the voice, tempo, intonation and behavior of the interlocutor and then it will become easier for him to communicate with you and you will find mutual language to solve problems.
Communicate with people more often
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to try, experiment and not be afraid of being rejected. Fear prevents us from communicating with others and, accordingly, our self-confidence decreases. To raise it and become a better communicator, don’t be afraid to communicate with different people, don’t be afraid to intrude and try to help people. Communicate with those who share the same opinions about life with you and are interested in your advice and suggestions.
Use a smile
Support your interlocutor
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to maintain a conversation and share opinions with the interlocutor. If he is wrong, you don’t have to tell him about it unless he asks you to. Keep the truth to yourself and then you won't offend anyone. But if you need to make a decision and the wrong point of view is imposed on you, you should not hide it. But don't just tell the truth, but turn to facts and evidence. Don't waste time arguing and criticizing.