Not everyone knows that the funeral ceremony on the 9th day means the end of the first week after the death of a loved one, and the memorial rite on the 40th day corresponds to the passage of one month. That's exactly what he was like Slavic calendar, where the tradition of remembering the deceased a week, month and year after passing away came from. These dates, inherent in pagan rituals (trisnes), gradually passed into the Christian tradition without any special changes. Today, many people no longer know where they came from and what these numbers mean.
Of course, there is not only a calendar, but also a religious justification for dates. It is believed that the funeral feast on the 9th day is dedicated to nine angels who will ask God for mercy and mercy for the sinful soul. In Christianity, the 9th day is considered the repeated ascension of the soul to the Lord. The first time the angels present the soul of the deceased before the Throne of the Lord is on the third day after death, then for six days they lead it around the divine monastery, giving it the opportunity to enjoy the beauty of paradise. After this, the soul again appears as the Creator for worship and goes to observe the hellish torments of sinners. The third return of the soul to God's judgment occurs on the fortieth day, where its fate is finally decided.
It is during this period that help is urgently needed for the soul of the deceased. Relatives and loved ones of an untimely deceased person can, with their prayers, help her cleanse herself and go to heaven. According to Christian traditions On the 9th day, the earthly stage of the soul’s existence ends. This date is considered very important and, according to the clergy, even festive. A six-day stay in paradise (even as a guest) allows you to adequately praise the Creator; on this day you definitely need to pray.
Moreover, if a person was famous for his good deeds, preached love for others, led a righteous lifestyle and repented of his own sins, then he can gain the favor of the Almighty. His posthumous fate will be decided already at the secondary ascension on the 9th day. Friends and relatives of the deceased should especially pray diligently and ask the Lord for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased and his passage into the heavenly kingdom. In the temple you need to light a candle for the remembrance of the soul. The most important part of the ritual is the holding of a memorial meal on this day.
Funeral dinner
A wake for 9 days should be quite modest, without frills. What is important here is not the fact of eating, but the presence of people for whom the deceased had great importance. A modest lunch is not an indicator of poverty. Rather, it is a demonstration of the frailty of existence before spirituality.
Despite the week after death, jokes, fun, songs and foul language are inappropriate at the table. At the same time, you should not suffer too much or lose heart. After all, grief and sadness are considered mortal sins; they show a complete denial of the Christian faith. The soul of the deceased completes its earthly journey, the farewell should be illuminated with a smile and good mood. Loved ones and close people should not show suffering, if only so that the soul of the deceased does not suffer with them. Of course, you shouldn’t rejoice too much, organize entertainment events and get drunk (following the example of the rituals of the pagan Slavs), but indulging in excessive grief is also inappropriate.
At a funeral dinner there is a certain significance appearance gathered. Women are advised to collect their hair under a headscarf; men should not wear hats. At a wake, it is undesirable to mention the bad sides of the deceased, his vices and unrighteous deeds. Everyone who wishes is given the floor to express grief and maintain confidence that the gates of heaven will open for the deceased.
Funeral feast
The funeral meal menu for 9 days is practically no different from the funeral wake menu. There must be kutia on the table - a dish made from grains of rice (wheat), to which raisins and honey are added. In the church it symbolizes eternal life.
The first course of the main course is traditionally served with cabbage soup or noodles with chicken. If the commemoration falls during the Lenten period, borscht (lenten) or mushroom noodles are included in the menu. The second one is usually fish, chicken, cutlets, stuffed peppers(you can have cabbage rolls). It is traditionally offered as a side dish buckwheat, sometimes it is supplemented with pea or mashed potatoes. A funeral table is impossible without marinades, pickles, fresh vegetables and salads, which can complement the side dish.
We must not forget that some of the guests may not observe fasting. Therefore, it would be quite appropriate to have plates with fried fish, cold cuts, and other quick snacks. The main thing is that those gathered can immediately distinguish Lenten dishes from the rest of the food. To complete the funeral dinner for 9 days, it is customary to serve compote or jelly, which goes well with pancakes or small buns, cookies and sweets. It is not necessary to serve tea or coffee to guests who have gathered to honor the memory of the deceased, but it is recommended to offer to take the remaining fruits and sweets with them.
How can I find out the exact date of the funeral?
Christian canons say that counting starts from the day of death. Here you need to carefully decide exact time days. If a person died before midnight, then the countdown begins right from that day. The confusion arises from an arithmetic discrepancy. For example, if death was recorded on May 21, then by adding (21 + 9) we get the date May 30. However, the ninth day of the commemoration will be May 29 - the day of death is already considered the first day of the countdown. From the moment it leaves the body, the soul begins a journey through the heavenly kingdom, and it needs increased help precisely on the 9th day. Memorable dates(3rd, 9th, 40th day) it is better to write it down immediately in order to mark them in time.
Invitation to a wake
It should be remembered that it is not customary to invite guests on this day: it is considered uninvited. Friends and loved ones of the deceased come to the memorial meal at their own discretion. At the wake, everyone who wants to remember the person once again gathers, to honor the blessed memory from the bottom of their hearts. To drive away someone who wanted to take part in a sad holiday is not only unacceptable, but also sinful. It is best to try to treat as many people as possible: the more prayers there are for the salvation of the soul of the deceased, the easier its path to heaven will become. On this day, give out treats to everyone you meet.
Modern realities dictate their conditions to us. People are interested in the place and time of the event in advance. Most often, the organizers take responsibility and independently agree on the details with all participants who want to remember the deceased.
Is it necessary to visit the cemetery on this day?
This event is not included in the list of mandatory actions on the ninth day after death. The Church does not place mortal remains in the graveyard special significance, only visiting the temple and intense prayers are welcome. Usually people themselves visit their place of final resting place loved one, paying tribute to the deceased. This is a matter more for the living than for the dead.
The ninth day cannot be treated as a mere formality. You must remember that it is at this time that you can harm or help the soul of the deceased.
For Orthodox Christians, commemoration of the dead occurs on the ninth and fortieth days after death. Why?
The clergy answer this question in detail. According to church canons, the time from the moment of repose directly to the ninth is called the design of the “body of eternity.” During this period, the deceased is taken to “special places” in heaven. And in the world of the living, relatives and clergy conduct various funeral ceremonies.
What happens in the first 9 days after death?
In these very first 9 days after death the deceased can observe the people around them, see and hear them. Thus, the soul forever says goodbye to life in this world, to life on earth, gradually losing these opportunities and thereby moving away from the world of the living. Therefore, it is no coincidence that memorial services are ordered on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days. These days represent special milestones that every soul passes when leaving our world.
After the nine-day mark, the soul goes to hell in order to see the torment of unrepentant sinners. As a rule, the soul does not yet know what kind of fate is in store for it, and the terrible torment that will appear before its eyes will have to shake it and make it fear its fate. But not every soul is given such a chance. Some go straight to hell without worshiping God, which occurs on the third day. These souls delayed the ordeal.
Ordeals are posts where souls are detained by demons, or they are also called the princes of ordeals. There are twenty such posts. Demons gather at each one and expose to the soul all the sins it has committed. At the same time, the soul does not remain completely defenseless.
Guardian angels are always nearby in these difficult moments.
The Guardian Angel represents to the demons the good deeds of the soul that are opposite to sins. For example, generous assistance can be pitted against accusations of greed. Blessed Theodora, whose authority deserves attention, testifies that most often people get stuck in ordeals because of adultery. Because this topic is so personal and shameful, people are often sensitive about having to talk about it in confession.
And this sin remains hidden, thereby erasing the entire confession. Therefore, demons win the war for their lives. No matter what actions you have committed, no matter how ashamed you are of them (this also applies to your intimate life), you must fully confess to the priest, otherwise the entire confession will not be counted.
If the soul does not go through all the ordeals, demons take it straight to hell. There she remains until the Last Judgment. Relatives and friends of the deceased can soften the fate of his soul with prayers, so it is better to order a commemoration in the church.
Then she is shown all the beauties of paradise, in comparison with which earthly joys simply fade. The happiness that becomes available to a person in heaven is incomparable to anything. That's what the saints say.
Pure and beautiful nature, as it was before the fall of man, the fulfillment of all desires, righteous people who are all together, everything you can dream of - this is paradise. In hell there is none of this and all people are alone.
On the ninth day, the soul is brought down to hell as a spectator.
Having been in paradise and seen the righteous there, a person realizes that he deserves hell more than heaven because of his sins, so the soul awaits with great trepidation the period of 9 days after death. Prayer is very important here, with which loved ones help the soul. It is important to acquire a close connection with the soul of the deceased so that the verdict is rendered in favor of the Holy Place. You should order a service in the church so that your loved one has support from you.
Also at this time, you can think about how to arrange the burial site, for example.
9 days after death - commemoration of loved ones
The first 9 days after death are very difficult for the soul of the deceased person, so help your loved ones, order a memorial in the church, and you will feel better and calmer for your loved one and the soul of the deceased will be calm and peaceful. Not only church prayer is important, but also your personal one. Ask your father for help. He will help you master the special rules for reading the Psalter.
The custom of remembering loved ones at meals has been known since ancient times. Often, a wake is an occasion for relatives to get together, eat deliciously, and discuss business. In fact, people gather at the funeral table for a reason. Orthodox Christians should pray for those loved ones who have left the earthly world. Before starting a meal, it is necessary to perform a lithium without fail. This is a small rite of requiem, it can be performed by a layman. You can read Psalm 90 and Our Father.
Kutia is the first dish, which is actually eaten at the funeral. It is usually prepared from boiled wheat or rice grains with honey and raisins. The grain is a symbol of resurrection, and honey is the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in paradise. Kutya should be consecrated during the funeral service with a special rite; if this is not possible, it should be sprinkled with holy water.
The desire of the owners to provide everyone who came to the funeral with a tasty treat is understandable, but it does not exempt them from observing the fasts established by the Church. On Wednesday, Friday and, accordingly, during long fasts, eat only permitted food. If during Lent a funeral service falls on a weekday, it should be moved to Saturday or Sunday.
The pagan custom of drinking at graves has nothing in common with Orthodox customs. Every Christian knows that what brings joy to our deceased loved ones is prayer for them and the piety we bring, and not the amount of alcohol we drink.
At home, during the funeral meal, after the funeral service, a small glass of wine is allowed, which will be accompanied by a kind word addressed to the deceased. Do not forget that this is a completely optional thing at a wake. But other alcohol should be avoided altogether, as it will distract from the wake itself.
In Orthodoxy, the first to be seated at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, old women and children. You can also distribute the deceased’s belongings and clothes. You can hear many stories about cases when the charity of relatives helped the deceased, and received confirmation of this from the afterlife. Therefore, you can help the deceased by giving your savings to alms in order to benefit the soul in the afterlife.
The loss of a loved one can change your worldview, help you gain the desire to become a true Orthodox Christian, and take your very first step on the path to God. Start now to cleanse your soul, to confess, so that in the afterlife good deeds will prevail over sins.
According to beliefs, for the first three days the soul is next to the body and cannot yet leave it. But on the fourth day, as a rule, she goes on a short journey. From 4 to 9 days after the shower, he visits the houses of his family and friends, and is near his closest friends. That is why after 9 people who knew the deceased best and valued him most, arrange to say goodbye, which from now on leaves them.
According to Christian dogmas, from the 3rd to the 9th day after death, angels show the soul of the deceased the palaces of God, allow him to enter heaven and see the pleasures prepared for those who lived a righteous life. By the ninth day, a person either forgets all the sorrow and pain that he experienced while living in an earthly body, or understands that he lived his life incorrectly, and cannot enjoy the beauty of paradise and peace after death. Gathering at this time, the closest friends and relatives of the deceased remember him kind words, they pray for him, ask for his soul to go to heaven, and the angels see this.
Why are forties celebrated?
After the 9th day, according to some ideas, the soul goes to travel and visits distant relatives, friends, acquaintances, those places that were important to a person during life. So she travels until day 40, trying to do everything, after which she leaves the world. On forties, i.e. the wake is on the 40th day, everyone who wants to say goodbye to him comes, including those who knew him not for too long or not too closely. At this time, the soul is seen off forever, they say goodbye to it, and this must be done piously and calmly, so that the deceased can go to another, perhaps happier world.
According to Christian views, from day 9 to 40, the soul of the deceased atones for all sins committed. It is also during this time that angels take her through hell to show her what happens to the unrepentant. After all this, on the 40th day, the soul appears before the Lord, and then its further fate- be she in heaven or hell. That is why for Christians the commemoration of the fortieth day is extremely important: on this day everyone who knew the deceased remembers him and talks about how a good man he was trying to atone for his sins. According to legend, seeing this and realizing how many people were grieving
Days of commemoration after death: on the day of the funeral, 9 and 40days, after 1 year.The essence of the wake. What to say at a wake? Funeral words and funeral speech. Lenten menu.
What to say at a wake
The first word at a wake is traditionally given to the head of the family.. In the future, the responsibility to monitor the general conversation and gently guide its flow rests with one of the fairly close or relatives, but still not with the closest relative. It is cruel to expect a mother grieving a child or a spouse bereaved to be able to maintain order while dealing with their own feelings. Selected for this role a person who knew the deceased well enough and able, in a tense moment, to remember some trait of his character, a nice habit or an event from his life that he can tell those gathered about.
It should be noted that The usual rules of a “social party” do not apply to a wake.: there is no need to try to fill the pause that has arisen in the conversation or break the silence with insignificant remarks - especially on an abstract topic. Silence at a wake is not only normal, but even correct: in silence, everyone remembers the deceased and feels more fully their connection with him.
Funeral speech at a wake
If you want to speak out- stand up, briefly outline how you remember the deceased (naturally, it's only about positive features ), which made him special person in your eyes. If you remember any case when the deceased did a good deed for you personally or for someone abstract or unfamiliar, tell about it, but do not tell stories in which someone present appears. Everyone can speak at a wake, but try don't drag out your speech too much: After all, it’s already hard for many of those gathered.
You may not know absolutely exactly how to conduct a funeral “correctly”- don't worry too much about it. The main thing in in this case- sincere intention and pure thoughts towards the deceased. When you do something in memory of the deceased with an open heart, you can't go wrong. It is important to remember only one thing: the funeral in a secular sense needed in to a greater extent alive, rather than the deceased: like any ritual action in our life, designed to ease experiences and accept new reality life. Therefore, when organizing a memorial service, do not forget about the feelings of those who come to honor the memory of the deceased.
As for strictly Orthodox commemoration, then, of course, it is better to do everything in accordance with the canon, so as not to unknowingly do anything unacceptable from the point of view of the Russian Orthodox Church. It is better to learn about these rules in advance in the church - for example, when you order a funeral service.
“Nowhere in the world, except Russia, has the funeral custom and rite been developed to such deep, one might say, virtuosity, to which it reaches here,” wrote K.P. Pobedonostsev. “And there is no doubt that this attitude of his reflected our folk character, with a special worldview inherent in our nature” Our conversation with the serving priest of the temple in the name of St. Demetrius of Thessalonica in Sulazhgora O. Konstantin Savander.
- Since ancient times they have been appointed special Saturdays, - says Fr. Constantine - when all Christians purely prayed for their dead loved ones. Such days began to be called parenting days.
— Why does the Church pray with such care for the departed?
— The Church prays for the repose and forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, hoping for God’s mercy. Although man was a sinner and received God’s reward after death, when the final judgment of humanity takes place, prayers for him will be remembered by God, and he may be pardoned. After death, a person’s soul can no longer change anything; all its hopes are for those remaining on earth. There is a pious legend that in parents' Saturdays the souls of even the most hardened sinners receive consolation and joy.
— What should you do on Parents' Saturday?
— The day before and on Parents’ Saturday itself, you need to come to the Divine Service. Before it begins, submit a note with the names of the deceased, place candles on the funeral table, but most importantly, pray for your loved ones, listening to the words of church hymns. The most short prayer: “O Lord, rest the soul of your deceased servant (name), and forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him the Kingdom of Heaven.” With this prayer you can light candles and say goodbye to the deceased.
Wanting to somehow help the soul of the deceased, a person who believes not only in parental Saturday, but must always do works of mercy, give alms to poor people for the deceased, light candles, and give notes. People who do not have special means donate food, which is placed on a table located in front of (or behind) the funeral table. You cannot donate vodka or cognac...
In the morning, having attended the service, ordered a memorial service and prayed for the deceased at it, an Orthodox Christian goes to the cemetery to pray for his relatives, remember something good about them, and put things in order at the grave.
— When visiting a cemetery, we involuntarily think about own death…
— A person must always be prepared for death. We won't necessarily live long life, no one knows their deadline. Many are frightened by thoughts about death... In order not to be afraid, one must not sin, because often a person is afraid to bear responsibility for his evil deeds. We can correct ourselves, repent and change our lives, and then we will not be punished for our sins. We need to confess more often, live a very attentive spiritual life, we need to go to church, because without God’s help it is impossible to be saved. When the hour of death approaches, it is advisable to undergo unction, confession and receive communion. If a person is seriously ill, a priest is invited to his home.
— What should relatives do after the death of a loved one?
- Immediately after death you should start reading Psalter, this book is sold in churches and icon shops. Then you need to go to the temple and order funeral litia, agree on funeral service which is best done on the third day. It is advisable for the person to be buried in a church, but this can also be done in a funeral hall. Funeral service is performed on the deceased once, but funeral services can be ordered frequently. After the funeral service, the deceased is taken to the cemetery and buried. If the priest has the opportunity, he will perform lithium at the grave. There, after last goodbye with the deceased, the priest concludes rite of burial- three times with the prayer: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us,” pours consecrated sand in the form of an Orthodox six-pointed cross over the funeral veil. When there is no priest, anyone can do it close person. Usually after the funeral there are wake, or funeral dinner - an almost Lenten meal, preferably without alcohol, when loved ones remember the deceased kindly.
-Who can’t have a funeral service?
— We must realize that the funeral service is performed for a member of the Church, therefore it is useless to perform the funeral service for an unbaptized person. It happens that the relatives of the deceased do not know whether the deceased was baptized or in honor of which saint he was baptized (when a person has a secular, non-church name, for example, Edward). Then, before you go to order a funeral service, you need to try to find out whether the deceased had godparents when he was born (if before the war, then he was probably baptized), whether there was a church in the village where he was born, when this church was closing. In general, such a fact (if it turns out with great certainty that the deceased was baptized after all) is very regrettable - it means that the deceased was a non-church, person of little faith. Relatives must pray hard for the Lord to have mercy on his soul. Funeral services and memorial services are not held for suicides.
— Why are the 3rd, 9th and 40th days especially highlighted?
— The soul of man before 3 days is close to his family, with 3 By Day 9 she is shown the afterlife, and with 9 days- a particularly difficult period for the soul of the deceased; it goes through ordeals, where it learns all its sins. Finally, on the 40th day, the ordeal ends and the soul is again ascended by the Angels to worship God, who determines its appropriate place in anticipation Last Judgment according to her earthly affairs, spiritual state and the grace of the prayers of the Church and loved ones. During this period (from 9 By 40 day) relatives should pray especially. Again, the Psalter is read, in churches the person’s name is remembered in customized notes. It is highly advisable to serve a memorial service on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days.
— How can you decorate a grave?
- Whatever you want, you just need to try to have a cross on the grave, a symbol of victory over death.
— There are many superstitions associated with funerals and behavior in the cemetery...
- Yes, and many of them seem stupid and funny to me. For example, people throw money into a grave to ransom the deceased. Or they put money, food and various expensive things in the coffin or leave it at the grave. Isn't it better to give them to a poor believer who will pray to God for the repose of the deceased? There is no need to pour vodka on the grave or pour it into a pre-set glass, guided by such an “iron” argument that “the deceased loved vodka.” By doing this you are making the deceased very painful, because he may suffer after death for the sin of drinking wine. Finally, it is pointless to knock on a monument or on a specially placed plaque on the grave in order to inform the deceased that you have come; he will not hear you, his soul is far away. The deceased can be given to know about you only through your fervent prayer to God.
— What to do if the deceased is dreaming?
- So he asks for prayers. But if the deceased, like a ghost, walks around the apartment and scares the residents, then this devilry under the guise of a deceased person he does his dirty work. Such dwellings must be illuminated in a special way.
— What can you say to console the loved ones of the deceased?
- Of course, loss dear person- the greatest grief, but you can’t reach despair. Separation is not eternal, future life we will meet. The time that we have left on earth must be used to ensure that our meeting with loved ones, and most importantly, with God, is bright, and immortal life- joyful.
Interviewed by Irina Tatarina
About funeral rites based on materials from the Orthodox press
Ecumenical Parents' Saturdays have been established since the first centuries of Christianity. And this was not done by chance: the Holy Church cares not only about those living on this earth, but also about all Orthodox Christians who have passed away from time immemorial.
- Why is it necessary to perform funeral services for the dead?
— According to the traditions of the holy fathers and according to the spiritual practice of the Holy Church, the soul of the deceased without a funeral service has no peace. Therefore, performing the funeral service is very important for her. The entire Church, in the person of priests and worshipers, asks the Lord, by His great mercy, to forgive all the sins of the deceased and give him a resting place in the abodes of heaven. In the prayer of permission, the priest not only asks for forgiveness of the soul of the deceased, but also prays to the Lord to remove any curse weighing on the soul of the person being interred.
— Why do the Orthodox have such a solemn rite of burial of the dead?
- Because the body is a vessel of the Holy Spirit and loved ones see off not just the corruptible remains, but the relics. It is assumed that any Christian strived to live holy, but, like every person in this life, he sinned. This is what the Church prays for, so that the Lord will forgive the sins of the deceased.
— Why, after the death of a person, is it necessary to celebrate the magpie in church for his repose?
— St. Basil the Great writes that human soul until the third day is with the body, in connection with this they bury him on the third day after his repose. When a coffin with a body is sealed in a church, the soul at that moment leaves the person. After the ninth day she goes through ordeals, or in other words - 20 trials. The soul will be able to go through the ordeal if the person led a righteous and pious lifestyle. Otherwise she will be condemned. Therefore in church it is read magpie of repose, thereby we accompany the soul of a person with prayerful intercession before God.
In former times, Christians, after the death of their neighbor, read for all 40 days Psalter for the dead and every day they took prosphora for the deceased in their church during the liturgy. In this way they provided his soul with great help. It is appropriate to note here that there is no higher prayer on earth than the prayer of the priest during the celebration of the Sacrament of Proskomedia, when he pronounces the name Orthodox Christian and takes out a particle from the prosphora. Therefore, you need to immediately order a magpie for the repose of your neighbor in the church and submit the name of the deceased for commemoration at Proskomedia. The more churches and monasteries the soul of the deceased is commemorated, the greater the benefit for it, as well as for the soul of the one who submits for commemoration.
- If the deceased never confessed during his lifetime, did not receive communion, did not fast, will it benefit him if a priest is brought to him after death?
“Deeds without faith are dead.” But the priests perform such a ritual over everyone, since they leave everything to the Judgment and providence of God, to what God wants to do with the soul of a sinner... It happens that we saw only the bad deeds of a person during his life, but did not see when he repented of their actions. And God saw all this and knows, so God is with this human soul will order according to His Will.
One day, people from leading party circles approached an archimandrite who served in the Tula region with a request to give communion to his grandfather. This was in the early 60s - during the time of the most severe persecution of the Church, when for secret baptism, communion at home, and even for minor repairs to the temple, people were imprisoned or committed to a mental hospital. Therefore, it is quite possible that this could have been a provocation. But the young people convincingly insisted on going with them, saying that their grandfather was dying and could not die. He was repeatedly placed dead in a coffin and each time, to the horror of those around him, he rose from the coffin, demanding to bring a priest for communion and explaining that as soon as he dies, all those killed and tortured by him come to him, led by three priests whom he shot , and they say to him: “Come back, confess and partake of the Body and Blood of Christ, for we have begged your soul from God.”
The old man’s relatives called the local priest, but when he heard what sins this man was guilty of, he refused to read the prayer of absolution and said: “I cannot give absolution from such sins. Look for a monk...”
After a long conversation, the elder agreed to go to the dying man. Before confession, as required by the rules, the archimandrite asked everyone standing in the room to leave, but the dying man, pointing to young man, who arrived with the elder, said: “Let him stay and hear everything, he needs it...”. “I have never heard a more terrible confession and at the same time more complete,” writes Archimandrite George, “I have never heard in my life.”
After the ardent atheist repented, the elder read a prayer of permission and administered communion to the dying man. Before this one dies an old man, having learned the truth under pain of damnation, bequeathed to his relatives to perform a funeral service for him in the temple and bury him under a wooden cross, and that no monument should be erected. That's what they did - they held his funeral service in the church.
- Who should not have a funeral service? Orthodox churches?
- According to the Charter of the Church, it is impossible to perform Orthodox burial rites and church commemoration of people who are not baptized, baptized, but have renounced the faith (heretics), who during their lifetime treated the Church with ridicule, hostility, or, considered Orthodox, were carried away by Eastern religions. Previously, such people were excommunicated from the Church (anathema was proclaimed) - now this is done very rarely, but these people excommunicated themselves from the Church. The Church prays only for those who recognize Orthodox Church for the true Church.
There is no church funeral service for suicides. Our Church denies this even to people who have made an attempt on the life or property of their neighbors and died from wounds and injuries received as a result of the rebuff. In this case, only soldiers who died on the battlefield are buried. They were sent to defend their Fatherland and died as martyrs, having fulfilled their military duty.
— What is an absentee funeral service? In what cases is it applicable?
— Because of the abundance of chants, the Orthodox rite of transporting souls to another world and bodies to the earth is called funeral service. When it is not performed on the body of the deceased, it is called in absentia. Due to the impoverishment of piety, this type of funeral service is now the most common. But strictly speaking, it is permissible only in cases where the body of the deceased is not available for burial (fires, floods, wars, Act of terrorism). But, as a certain psalm says: “ I got what I deserved. What is the use of a funeral service when I have not lived for an hour in love and repentance?...»
— What should the relatives and friends of a missing person do if it is not known whether he is alive or not?
- If a person disappeared not so long ago, you need to order prayers to St. Martyr John the Warrior and Archangel Gabriel. They help find missing people, as well as missing things and other property.
— People often erect monuments and lay flowers on roads in places of fatal accidents. Is it correct?
- No, that's not right. On the contrary, this place must be sanctified by inviting a priest. After all, this place was desecrated by murder, the death of a person, that is, demons were present at this place, as a result of which the tragedy occurred.
— People often go to the cemetery on Easter Day. Is it worth following this folk custom?
- Christ rose (that is, came to life) from the dead, trampling death (disgracing, defeating), and giving life to those who were in the tombs (the dead). The time of Easter is a time of life, of resurrection, so on such days none of the Orthodox even think about cemeteries. In the church throughout Easter week there are no memorial services, but funeral services for those who reposed on these bright days, are performed according to a special rite - Easter. Because everyone rejoices in the risen Savior of the world! But when Bright Week ends and Radonitsa comes (as people say - Easter for the departed), only then will we go to the cemetery - to congratulate our deceased relatives with prayer.
— Is it possible to lay wreaths on the grave?
— Wreaths made of artificial flowers, such as paper, cannot be laid. It is better to put one live flower on the grave than many artificial ones. After all, a living flower is a symbol of the general Resurrection, and a paper flower is deadness, a symbol of the fact that the dead will never rise again. Paper wreaths were started by atheists.
Prayer for the deceased - sacred duty of every Christian. A great reward and great consolation awaits the one who, with his prayers, helps a deceased neighbor receive forgiveness of sins. For the All-Good Lord counts this act as righteousness and therefore, first of all, bestows mercy on those who show mercy, and then on the souls towards whom this mercy was shown. Those who remember the departed will be remembered by the Lord, and people will also remember them after they depart from the world.
Based on materials from Orthodox newspapers.
During the days of Great Lent, a time of repentance and prayer, several Saturdays are dedicated to the remembrance of the departed. We must remember our deceased loved ones not only on these days, but constantly. The priest of Alexander Nevsky answers our readers' questions cathedral O. Roman Chadayev.
— What is more important on the day of remembrance of loved ones: visiting a cemetery or celebrating mass in a church?
On the day of remembrance of the deceased, first of all, you need to submit a note at the church for a proskomedia and order a memorial service. If possible, visit the cemetery. You can organize a memorial meal. It is also customary to do good deeds and give alms on the day of remembrance of the deceased.
—Who can you give alms to and how to do it?
Alms can be given to those who need it. To feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to visit the sick. This should be done not in public, but “in secret”, so that “ left hand didn’t know what the right one was doing.”
— How often and on what days should you visit graves and what is advisable to do there?
It is advisable to visit cemeteries on the day of death of the deceased, as well as on birthdays, name days (Angel Day), parental Saturdays and Radonitsa. It is necessary to remember the deceased with prayer, to restore order at the grave. There you can ask the priest to serve a memorial service. .
— Why do people stand with candles in their hands at funeral services?
During the funeral service, four candles are placed on the four sides of the coffin, representing a cross. During burial, as well as at memorial services, those present hold candles, thereby symbolizing the Divine light with which a Christian is enlightened in baptism, which serves as a prototype of the future light.
— Do graves need to be decorated?
The best decoration for a Christian grave is a tombstone cross. The custom of placing crosses on the graves of the dead dates back to ancient times. It first appeared around the 3rd century in the East, in Palestine, and came to us along with the faith from Greece.
The grave fence, the tombstone cross, the place itself in the fence must be kept in good order and clean. This care is a natural manifestation in Christians of a sense of respect for the ashes of their ancestors and, in general, their neighbors who died in the faith.
Recorded by Irina Tatarina