“Today is parenting!” - a phrase we hear several times a year. With God, everyone is alive, and memory and prayer for our deceased relatives and friends is an important part of the Christian faith. We will talk about what kind of parental Saturdays there are, about church and folk traditions of the days special commemoration the deceased, about how to pray for the dead and whether it is necessary to go to the cemetery on parental Saturdays.
What is Parents' Saturday
Parents' Saturdays (and there are them in church calendar several) are days of special remembrance of the dead. On these days, special commemoration of deceased Orthodox Christians is performed in Orthodox churches. In addition, according to tradition, believers visit graves in cemeteries.
The name “parental” most likely comes from the tradition of calling the deceased “parents,” that is, those who went to their fathers. Another version is that Saturdays began to be called “parental” Saturdays, because Christians prayerfully commemorated, first of all, their deceased parents.
Among other parental Saturdays (and there are seven of them in a year), Ecumenical Saturdays are distinguished, on which the Orthodox Church prayerfully commemorates all baptized Christians. There are two such Saturdays: Meat Saturday (the week before Lent) and Trinity Saturday (on the eve of the Feast of Pentecost). The remaining parental Saturdays are not ecumenical and are reserved specifically for private commemoration of people dear to our hearts.
How many parent's Saturdays a year?
In the calendar of the Russian Orthodox Church there are seven days of special commemoration of the departed. All but one (May 9 - Commemoration of Dead Soldiers) have a moving date.
Meat Saturday (Ecumenical parent's Saturday)
Saturday of the 2nd week of Lent
Saturday of the 3rd week of Lent
Saturday of the 4th week of Lent
Radonitsa
Saturday Trinity
Saturday Dimitrievskaya
Parents' Saturdays in 2014
Parents' Saturdays in 2015
What are universal parental Saturdays?
Among other parental Saturdays (and there are seven of them in a year), Ecumenical Saturdays are distinguished, on which the Orthodox Church prayerfully commemorates all baptized Christians. There are two such Saturdays: Meat Saturday (the week before Lent) and Trinity Saturday (on the eve of the Feast of Pentecost). On these two days, special services are held - ecumenical memorial services.
What is invillage funeral services
On parental Saturdays, the Orthodox Church holds ecumenical or parental memorial services. Christians use the word “requiem service” to refer to a funeral service at which believers pray for the repose of the dead and ask the Lord for mercy and forgiveness of sins.
What is a memorial service
Panikhida translated from Greek means " All-night vigil." This funeral service, at which believers pray for the repose of the dead, asking the Lord for mercy and forgiveness of sins.
Ecumenical (meat-free) parental Saturday
Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parental Saturday) is the Saturday a week before the start of Lent. It is called Meat Eating Week because it falls on Meat Eating Week (the week before Maslenitsa). It is also called Little Maslenitsa.
On this day, Orthodox Christians commemorate all the baptized dead from Adam to the present day. An ecumenical requiem service is served in churches - “The memory of all Orthodox Christians who have departed from time immemorial, our fathers and brothers.”
Trinity Parents' Saturday
Trinity is the second ecumenical parental Saturday (after Meat), on which the Orthodox Church prayerfully commemorates all baptized Christians. It falls on the Saturday preceding the holiday of Trinity, or Pentecost. On this day, believers come to churches for a special ecumenical memorial service - “In memory of all Orthodox Christians who have departed from time immemorial, our fathers and brothers.”
Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent
During Lent, according to the Charter, funeral commemorations are not performed (funeral litanies, litias, requiems, commemorations of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, magpies), therefore the Church has set aside special three days when one can prayerfully remember the departed. These are the Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent.
Radonitsa
Radonitsa, or Radunitsa, is one of the days of special remembrance of the dead, which falls on the Tuesday after St. Thomas week (the second week after Easter). On Thomas Sunday, Christians remember how the resurrected Jesus Christ descended into hell and defeated death, and Radonitsa, directly associated with this day, also tells us about victory over death.
On Radonitsa, according to tradition, Orthodox Christians go to the cemetery, and there, at the graves of their relatives and friends, they glorify the Risen Christ. Radonitsa, in fact, is called so precisely from the word “joy”, the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ
Commemoration of deceased soldiers - May 9
Commemoration of the departed warriors is the only day of special remembrance of the dead in the year, which has a fixed date. This is May 9, Victory Day in the Great Patriotic War. On this day, after the liturgy, churches serve a memorial service for the soldiers who gave their lives for their homeland.
Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday
Demetrius Parental Saturday is the Saturday before the day of remembrance of the Holy Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki, which is celebrated on November 8 according to the new style. If the saint’s memorial day also falls on a Saturday, the previous one is still considered the parent’s day.
Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday became a day of special remembrance of the dead after the victory of Russian soldiers in the Battle of Kulikovo in 1380. At first, on this day they commemorated precisely those who died on the Kulikovo field, then, over the centuries, the tradition changed. In the Novgorod chronicle of the 15th century, we read about Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday as a day of remembrance of all the dead.
Funeral commemoration on Parents' Saturday
On the eve of parental Saturday, that is, on Friday evening, in Orthodox harmas a great requiem service is served, which is also called by the Greek word “parastas”. On Saturday itself, in the morning, the funeral Divine Liturgy is served, followed by a general memorial service.
At the parastas or at the funeral Divine Liturgy, you can submit notes of repose with the names of those who have died close to your heart. And on this day, according to the old church tradition, parishioners bring food to the temple - “for the canon” (or “for the eve”). These are Lenten products, wine (Cahors) for celebrating the liturgy.
Why do they bring food “for the eve”?
Answers p
Bringing food to the temple - “on the eve” - is an ancient practice of performing general funeral feasts, that is, commemorating the dead. According to tradition, the parishioners of the temple gathered a larger common table in order to all together remember the deceased people close to their hearts. Now the food that believers bring and place on a special table then goes to the needs of the parish and to help the poor people whom the parish cares for.
It seems to me that this is a good custom - to help those in need or ease the burden of people who serve in the temple (of course, these are not only clergy, but also candle makers and all those who, for free, by the will of their hearts, help in the House of God). By bringing food to the temple, we serve our neighbors and remember our departed ones.
Prayer for the departed
Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.
It is more convenient to read names from a commemoration book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are written down. There is a pious custom of conducting family memorials, reading which both in home prayer and during church services, Orthodox people They remember by name many generations of their deceased ancestors.
Prayer for a deceased Christian
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your departed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, Faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession. Be merciful to him, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You give generous rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen
Widower's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and confess that You have blessed me to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. By your good and wise will you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you have given to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; Even if you care more about the clothing and decoration of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; if you upset anyone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor or condemn someone or anything else you have done from such evil people.
Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Thy great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life to ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive her sins. Yes, as if You, God, placed on her head a crown from an honest stone, crowning her here on earth; So crown me with Your eternal glory in Your Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them the all-holy may eternally sing Your name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Widow's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. As you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not consign him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even to your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, the hedgehog to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Parents' prayer for deceased children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and place him with all Your saints, who have pleased You from all eternity, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the keeper of the orphans, the refuge of the grieving and the comforter of the weeping. I come running to you, an orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my parent (my mother), (name) (or: with my parents who gave birth and raised me, their names) - , and his soul (or: her, or: them), as having gone (or: gone) to You with true faith in You and with firm hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept into Your Kingdom of Heaven. I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away (or: taken away, or: taken away) from me, and I ask You not to take away from him (or: from her, or: from them) Your mercy and mercy. We know, Lord, as You are the Judge of this world, you punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to Thee, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the unforgettable deceased (unforgettable deceased) for me Thy servant (Thy servant), my parent (my mother) (name), but forgive him (her) all his sins ( her) voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by him (her) in his (her) life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him (her) and eternal save me from torment. You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent (my deceased mother) in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to order him in a place of light, in a place of coolness and in a place of peace, with all the saints, from nowhere all sickness, sorrow and sighing have fled. Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (Thy) (name) my warm prayer and give him (her) Thy reward for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He taught (taught) me first of all to lead Thee, my Lord, in reverently pray to You, trust in You alone in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his (her) concern for my spiritual progress, for the warmth of his (her) prayer for me before You and for all the gifts he (she) asked me from You, reward him (her) with Your mercy. Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal Kingdom. For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen
Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Parents' Saturday?
Answers p Rotopriest Igor FOMIN, rector of the Church of the Holy Blessed Prince Alexander Nevsky at MGIMO:
The main thing is not to go to the cemetery instead of services in the temple. For our deceased relatives and friends, our prayer is much more important than visiting the grave. So try to get into the worship service, listen to the chants in the temple, turn your heart to the Lord.
Folk traditions of parental Saturdays
In Rus' folk traditions commemorations of dead people were somewhat different from church ones. Ordinary people went to the graves of relatives before major holidays - on the eve of Maslenitsa, Trinity (Pentecost), Intercession Holy Mother of God and the day of remembrance of the Holy Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki.
Most of all, people revered Dmitrievskaya parental Saturday. In 1903, Emperor Nicholas II even issued a decree on holding a special memorial service for the soldiers who fell for the Fatherland - “For the faith, the Tsar and the Fatherland, who laid down their lives on the battlefield.”
In Ukraine and Belarus, days of special commemoration of the dead were called “Grandfathers”. There were up to six such “Grandfathers” a year. People superstitiously believed that on these days all deceased relatives invisibly joined the family funeral meal.
Radonitsa was called “Joyful Grandfathers”; people loved this day very much, because they went to the graves of loved ones with the happy news of the Resurrection of Christ. There were also Pokrovskys, Nikolsky Grandfathers and others.
Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. Sermon on the Remembrance of Orthodox soldiers who died on the battlefield
We are accustomed in our lives to the fact that for every need, for every occasion, we turn to God for His help. And for our every call, for every cry of anguish, suffering, fear, we expect that the Lord will intercede for us, protect us, comfort us; and we know that He does this constantly and that He showed His utmost care for us by becoming Man and dying for us and for our sake.
But sometimes it happens in the life of our world that God turns to man for help; and this happens all the time, but often barely noticeable, or goes completely unnoticed by us. God constantly turns to each of us, asking, praying, persuading us to be in this world, which He loved so much that He laid down His life for it, to be His living presence, to be His living care, sighted, good-acting, attentive. He tells us: whatever good we did for any person, we did for Him, calling us by this to be, as it were, in His place.
And sometimes He calls some people to more personal service to Him. In the Old Testament we read about prophets: the prophet Amos says that a prophet is a person with whom God shares His thoughts; but not only with your thoughts, but also with your deeds. Remember the prophet Isaiah, who in a vision beheld the Lord looking around and saying: Whom shall I send? - and the prophet stood up and said: Me, Lord!
But here, among the prophets, among the people who served God with an undivided heart, with all the great strength of their soul, there is one, whose memory we commemorate today and whom Christ called the greatest among those born on earth.
And indeed, when you think about his fate, it seems that there is no fate more majestic and more tragic. His whole fate was, as it were, not to be, so that in the consciousness and vision of people the Only One Who There is: Lord.
Remember the first thing that is said about him in the Gospel of Mark: He is a voice crying in the wilderness... He is only a voice, he is so indistinguishable from his ministry that he has become only God’s voice, only an evangelist; as if he, as a person of flesh and blood, a person who can yearn, and suffer, and pray, and search, and ultimately stand before impending death - as if this person does not exist. He and his calling are one and the same; he is the voice of the Lord, sounding and thundering in the midst of the human desert; that desert where souls are empty - because there were people around John, and the desert remained unchanged from this.
And further. The Lord Himself says about him in the Gospel that he is the Friend of the Groom. A friend who loves the bride and groom so much, so deeply that he is able, forgetting himself, to serve their love, and to serve so that he will never be superfluous, never be there and then when it is not needed. He is a friend who is able to protect the love of the bride and groom and remain outside, the keeper of the secret of this love. Here, too, is the great secret of a man who is capable of, as it were, don't become in order for something greater than him to was.
And then he speaks about himself in relation to the Lord: I need to decrease, come to naught, in order for Him to increase... It is necessary that they forget about me, and remember only about Him, so that my disciples turn away from me and leave, like Andrew and John on the banks of the Jordan, and followed Him with an undivided heart only: I live only so that I am gone!
And the last is the terrible image of John, when he was already in prison, when the ring of death was narrowing around him, when he no longer had a way out, when this colossal great soul he hesitated... Death was coming towards him, a life in which he had nothing of his own was ending: in the past there was only the feat of self-denial, and ahead was darkness.
And at that moment, when his spirit wavered, he sent disciples to ask Christ: Are you the one for whom we have been waiting? If That - then it was worth in my youth die alive; if He, then it was worth diminishing from year to year so that he would be forgotten and only the image of the Coming One would increase in the eyes of people; if He - then it was worth it even now to die the last dying, because everything for which he lived was fulfilled and perfect.
But what if He is not the One? Then everything is lost, youth is ruined, mature years are ruined greatest power, everything is ruined, everything is meaningless. And it’s even more terrible that this happened, because God seemed to deceive: God, who called him into the desert; God, who took him away from people; God, who inspired him to the feat of self-death. Has God really deceived, and life has passed, and there is no return?
And so, sending the disciples to Christ with the question: Are you the one? - he does not receive a direct, comforting answer; Christ does not answer him: Yes, I am He, go in peace! He only gives the prophet the answer of another prophet that the blind receive their sight, that the lame walk, that the dead are raised, that the poor preach the good news. He gives an answer from Isaiah, but does not add His words - nothing except one formidable warning: Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me; go tell John...
And this answer reached John in his dying anticipation: believe to the end; believe, without requiring any signs, or evidence, or proof; believe, because you heard inside, in the depths of your soul, the voice of the Lord, commanding you to do the work of the prophet... Others can somehow rely on the Lord in their times greatest feat; God supports John only by commanding him to be the Forerunner and for this to show utmost faith and confidence in invisible things.
And that’s why it’s breathtaking when we think about him, and that’s why, when we think about a feat that has no limit, we remember John. That is why, of those who were born among people by natural birth and ascended miraculously by grace, he is the greatest of all.
Today we celebrate the day of the beheading of his head. Let's celebrate... We are used to understanding the word “celebrate” as “joy,” but it means “to remain idle.” And you can remain idle because joy overwhelms your soul and there is no time for ordinary affairs, or it may happen that you give up from grief and horror. And this is today’s holiday: what will you take up in the face of what we heard about today in the Gospel?
And on this day, when we give up before the horror and greatness of this fate, the Church calls us to pray for those who were also in horror, and trembling, and bewilderment, and sometimes died in despair: they died on the battlefield, they died in dungeons, they died the lonely death of a man. After you venerate the cross, we will pray for all those who laid down their lives on the battlefield so that others could live; bowed to the ground so that another could rise. Let us remember those who perished not only in our time, but from millennium to millennium terrible death, because they knew how to love, or because others did not know how to love - let us remember everyone, because the Lord’s love embraces everyone, and the great John will pray for everyone, who went through the whole tragedy of the sacrifice of dying and death without a single words of consolation, but only according to the sovereign command of God: “Believe to the end, and be faithful to the end!” Amen.
Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. About death
I have a peculiar attitude towards death, and I would like to explain why I treat death not only calmly, but with desire, with hope, with longing for it.
My first vivid impression about death - a conversation with my father, who once told me: “You must live in such a way that you learn to expect your death the way a groom expects his bride: wait for it, long for it, rejoice in advance about this meeting, and meet it reverently, affectionately." The second impression (of course, not immediately, but much later) was the death of my father. He died suddenly. I came to him, to a poor little room at the top of a French house, where there was a bed, a table, a stool and a few books. I entered his room, closed the door and stood there. And I was overcome by such silence, such a depth of silence that I remember exclaiming out loud: “And people say that death exists!” What a lie this is!” Because this room was full of life, and such a fullness of life that I had never seen outside it, on the street, in the yard. This is why I have such an attitude towards death and why I experience the words of the Apostle Paul with such force: For me, life is Christ, death is gain, because while I live in the flesh, I am separated from Christ... But the apostle adds further words that also greatly amazed me. The quote is not exact, but this is what he says: he completely wants to die and unite with Christ, but he adds: “However, you need me to stay alive, and I will continue to live.” This is the last sacrifice he can make: everything he strives for, everything he hopes for, everything he does, he is ready to put aside because others need him.
I have seen a lot of death. I worked as a doctor for fifteen years, five of which were in the war or in the French Resistance. After that, I lived for forty-six years as a priest and gradually buried an entire generation of our early emigration; so I saw a lot of death. And I was amazed that the Russians were dying calmly; Western people are more often with fear. Russians believe in life, go into life. And this is one of the things that every priest and every person must repeat to himself and others: we must not prepare for death, we must prepare for eternal life.
We know nothing about death. We don’t know what happens to us at the moment of dying, but we at least know rudimentarily what eternal life is. Each of us knows from experience that there are some moments when he no longer lives in time, but with such a fullness of life, such a jubilation that does not just belong to the earth. Therefore, the first thing we must teach ourselves and others is to prepare not for death, but for life. And if we talk about death, then talk about it only as a door that will open wide and allow us to enter eternal life.
But dying is still not easy. Whatever we think about death, about eternal life, we know nothing about death itself, about dying. I want to give you one example of my experience during the war.
I was a junior surgeon in a front-line hospital. A young soldier of about twenty-five, my age, was dying. I came to him in the evening, sat down next to him and said: “Well, how are you feeling?” He looked at me and answered: “I’m going to die tonight.” - “Are you afraid of dying?” - “It’s not scary to die, but it hurts me to part with everything that I love: with my young wife, with the village, with my parents; and one thing is really scary: to die alone. I say: “You will not die alone.” “So how?” - “I’ll stay with you.” - “You can’t sit with me all night...” I answered: “Of course I can!” He thought and said: “Even if you sit with me, at some point I will no longer be aware of this, and then I will go into the darkness and die alone. I say: “No, not at all, I will sit next to you.” you, and we will talk. You will tell me everything you want: about the village, about your family, about your childhood, about your wife, about everything that is in your memory, in your soul, that you love. I will hold your hand. Gradually, it will become tiresome for you to talk, then I will talk more than you. And then I will see that you are starting to doze off, and then you will close your eyes, I will stop talking, but I will hold your hand, and you will periodically. you will shake my hand, you will know that I am here. Gradually, your hand, although it will feel my hand, will no longer be able to shake it, I myself will begin to shake your hand. And at some point you will no longer be among us, but you will leave. not alone. We will make the whole journey together. "And so, hour after hour, we spent that night. At some point, he actually stopped squeezing my hand, I started shaking his hand so that he knew that I was here. Then his hand began to grow cold, then it opened, and he was no longer with us. And it's very important point; It is very important that a person is not alone when he goes into eternity.
But it also happens differently. Sometimes a person is sick for a long time, and if he is then surrounded by love and care, it is easy to die, although it hurts (I will also say this). But it is very scary when a person is surrounded by people who are just waiting for him to die: they say, while he is sick, we are prisoners of his illness, we cannot move away from his bed, we cannot return to our lives, we cannot rejoice in our joys; he hangs over us like a dark cloud; as if he would die quickly... And the dying person feels it. This can last for months. Relatives come and coldly ask: “How do you like it? Nothing? do you need anything? do you need anything? OK; you know, I have my own things to do, I’ll come back to you.” And even if the voice does not sound cruel, the person knows that he has been visited only because it was necessary visit, but that his death is eagerly awaited.
But sometimes it happens differently. A person dies, dies for a long time, but he is loved, he is dear; and he himself is also ready to sacrifice the happiness of being with a loved one, because this can give joy or help to someone else. Let me now say something personal about myself.
My mother had been dying of cancer for three years; I followed her. We were very close and dear to each other. But I had my own job - I was the only priest of the London parish, and besides, once a month I had to travel to Paris for meetings of the Diocesan Council. I didn’t have the money to make a phone call, so I came back, thinking: will I find my mother alive or not? She was alive - what a joy! what a meeting! .. Gradually she began to fade away. There were times when she would ring the bell, I would come, and she would tell me: “I’m sad without you, let’s be together.” And there were times when I myself felt unbearable. I went up to her, leaving my work, and said: “It hurts me without you.” And she consoled me about her dying and her death. And so we gradually went into eternity together, because when she died, she took with her all my love for her, everything that was between us. And there was so much between us! We lived almost our entire lives together, only the first years of emigration we lived apart, because there was nowhere to live together. But then we lived together, and she knew me deeply. And once she told me: “How strange: the more I know you, the less I could say about you, because every word I would say about you would have to be corrected with some additional features.” Yes, we reached the point when we knew each other so deeply that we could not say anything about each other, but we could join in life, in dying and in death.
And so we must remember that everyone dying in a situation where any kind of callousness, indifference or desire “for it to finally end” is unbearable. A person feels this, knows it, and we must learn to overcome all the dark, gloomy, bad feelings in ourselves and, forgetting about ourselves, think deeply, peer, and get used to the other person. And then death becomes victory: O death, where is your sting?! O death, where is your victory? Christ has risen, and not one of the dead is in the tomb...
I want to say something else about death because what I have already said is very personal. Death surrounds us all the time, death is the fate of all humanity. Now there are wars, people are dying in terrible suffering, and we must learn to be calm in relation to our own death, because in it we see life, eternal life emerging. Victory over death, over the fear of death, lies in living deeper and deeper into eternity and introducing others to this fullness of life.
But before death there are other moments. We don’t die right away, we don’t just physically die out. Very strange phenomena happen. I remember one of our old women, Maria Andreevna, a wonderful little creature, who once came to me and said: “Father Anthony, I don’t know what to do with myself: I can’t sleep anymore. Throughout the night, images of my past rise in my memory, but not light ones, but only dark, bad images that torment me. I turned to the doctor and asked him to give me some sleeping pills, but sleeping pills don’t relieve this haze. When I take sleeping pills, I am no longer able to separate these images from myself, they become delirium, and I feel even worse. What should I do?" I then told her: “Maria Andreevna, you know, I don’t believe in reincarnation, but I believe that we have been given by God to experience our lives more than once, not in the sense that you will die and come back to life again, but in the sense that what is happening to you now. When you were young, you, within the narrow limits of your understanding, sometimes did wrong; in word, thought, and action they defamed themselves and others. Then you forgot this and at different ages continued, to the best of your understanding, to act like, again, humiliating, desecrating, defaming yourself. Now, when you no longer have the strength to resist the memories, they pop up, and every time they pop up, they seem to say to you: Maria Andreevna, now what are you over eighty years old, almost ninety - if you were in the same position that you are now I remember when you were twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years old, would you have acted as you did then? If you can look deeply at what happened then, at your condition, at events, at people and say: no, now, with my life experience, I could never say this murderous word, I could not do that what I did! - if you can say this with your whole being: with your thought, and your heart, and your will, and your flesh - it will leave you. But other, and still other, images will come. And every time the image comes, God will pose the question to you: is this your past sin or is it still your present sin? Because if you once hated a person and did not forgive him, did not reconcile with him, then the sin of that time is your present sinfulness; she has not left you and will not leave until you repent.”
I can give another example of the same kind. I was once called by the family of one of our decrepit old women, a bright, bright woman. She clearly should have died that day. She confessed, and finally I asked her: “Tell me, Natasha, have you forgiven everyone and everything, or do you still have some kind of thorn in your soul?” She replied: “I have forgiven everyone except my son-in-law; I’ll never forgive him!” I said to this: “In this case, I will not give you a prayer of permission and will not commune the Holy Mysteries; you will go to God's judgment and will answer before God for your words." She says: “After all, I will die today!” - “Yes, you will die without a prayer of permission and without communion, if you do not repent and reconcile. I will return in an hour” - and left. When I returned an hour later, she greeted me with a shining gaze and said: “How right you were! I called my son-in-law, we explained ourselves, reconciled - he is now coming to see me, and I hope we will kiss each other to death, and I will enter eternity reconciled with everyone.”
When is the next Parents' Saturday / nashreporter.com
On the eve of the great holiday, in simple terms - Intercession 2018, believers honor the memory of deceased relatives and friends - on Intercession Parents' Saturday 2018.
Later - November 3, 2018 - Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday awaits us. It is no less significant than.
By the way, Saturdays are called Ecumenical, when all Christians are commemorated (the main thing is that they are baptized). There are only two of them: the mentioned Trinity and Myasopustnaya (a week before Lent). On other parental Saturdays, people remember only those who have died close to them.
What is Parents' Saturday
In Orthodoxy, these are special days for remembering the dead. Translated from Greek, Saturday means “intercession,” which is why on such days it is customary to remember deceased loved ones.
In Ukraine (as well as in Belarus), such days of remembrance of the dead are called “Grandfathers”. These are the days when the family funeral meal, according to popular belief, all the deceased relatives gather invisibly.
Parents' Saturday: how to remember
They remember those who have departed into the world with a different prayer and memorial service.
Prayer for the departed
Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven. During church services, Orthodox people remember by name many generations of their deceased ancestors.
Parents' Saturday: what to do
Believers go to church, ordering services for the repose. It is better on the eve of the liturgy to submit notes with the names of relatives for a registered forty-eighth. In this case, notes are submitted only to baptized Orthodox Christians.
If possible, visit the cemetery to visit the graves of relatives and friends.
But in no case should you visit the cemetery instead of a memorial service - the priests insist that going to the cemetery is more desirable than obligatory, but attending the service or, at a minimum, reading funeral prayers at home is mandatory.
After all, according to them, dead people are much more prayer is more important than visiting a grave.
In Christianity there are certain days commemoration of the departed, they are called Parental Saturdays. For what reason these days were named so, no one knows for sure. There are several versions of the origin of the name, the first says that on the day when deceased people are remembered, a person first of all remembers those closest to him.
If parents are no longer alive, then naturally they are the first to be remembered. The second theory says that when a Christian goes to another world, that is, dies, he returns to his forefathers. In other words, after death on Earth, he meets with his deceased father and mother, grandfathers and grandmothers. Saturday was chosen for a reason; it has always been considered the busiest day among the other days of the week.
What date is Parents' Day in 2018, 5 Parent's Saturdays
There are 5 Parental Saturdays in the Orthodox Church. Meat-eating universal Parental Saturday, on this day Orthodox believers ask God for mercy to all departed Christians. Trinity Ecumenical Parental Saturday - before the day of the Holy Trinity, on the 49th day after Easter.
Private parents' day, this Saturday, according to Christian tradition, deceased parents are remembered in the Russian, Bulgarian and Serbian Orthodox churches. Similar days include Mikhailovskaya, Dmitrievskaya and Intercession Saturdays.
Parental 2nd, 3rd, 4th Saturdays during Great Lent exist in order not to deprive the deceased of prayers for their repose throughout Great Lent, since during this period, according to Christian regulations, the usual commemorations of the deceased are canceled.
What date is Parents' Day in 2018, exact dates
According to Christian customs, the graves of deceased relatives must be kept in order and clean. This is a sign of respect. But leaving food and alcoholic drinks on graves is not permissible. In Orthodoxy, such actions are considered desecration of the souls of deceased Christians. It is recommended to give food to the poor or distribute it with a request to commemorate a certain person who is no longer alive.
Dates for Parents' Saturdays in 2018:
In Orthodoxy, it is customary to show concern for the souls of deceased loved ones. This phenomenon is an integral part of Christianity as a whole, since this religion is one of the spiritual teachings that preach life after death and, in general, spiritual immortality.
It is also known that in Christianity there is a ban on commemorating deceased suicides. This means that they are not buried as those who died against their will, and also church ministers do not have the right to perform memorial prayers for them. With the blessing of a clergyman, relatives of suicides can pray for them on their own.
Orthodox Church sets aside special days for commemorating the dead. They are called parental Saturdays. There are five Saturdays for remembering deceased relatives and two special ecumenical Saturdays. Few people imagine what exactly needs to be done at this time: either go to the cemetery, or go to church. A church-going relative told me what parents' Saturday is. I didn’t know what days to remember my relatives, how to do it correctly, what to bring to church for services. Many believers don’t know this either, so I decided to talk in detail about the tradition in my article.
In the Ten Commandments, a special place is given to honoring parents. The Orthodox Church teaches veneration not only of living parents, but also of the deceased. This is due to the belief that the souls of the deceased need our prayerful intercession, because only the living can be heard by God and the saints.
How are parental Saturdays different from ecumenical Saturdays? On parental Saturdays we remember our deceased relatives, and on ecumenical Saturdays we pray for the entire Orthodox world.
Funeral prayers
What is the significance of a funeral prayer for the soul of the deceased? After his death, a person cannot influence his destiny, repent of his sins and change anything. Therefore the dead need our prayer help, receiving God's blessing from every candle placed in their memory and funeral prayer read. This is not just a tribute to the memory of the deceased, but all possible help to his soul.
Sinful souls who did not have time to repent during their lifetime especially need prayer support. Relatives can beg God for mercy and leniency for them; prayers and petitions will certainly be taken into account at the Last Judgment.
Worship in the church
On parental Saturdays it is necessary to take part in the liturgy in church. You need to come to the service in advance in order to have time to leave a note with the names of the deceased, who will be remembered by the priest in prayer. Next, you should buy candles to put on the eve before the Holy Crucifixion. The candlestick for funeral candles is square in shape and stands near the Crucifixion.
If you do not know the words of the funeral prayer, you can say the following words:
Treats are left on the funeral table: gingerbread, rice, sweets, apples. It is also customary to distribute food to other people in memory of the deceased. Many parishioners leave cash in churches, making feasible donations. If parent's Saturday falls during Lent, then Lenten foods are brought to the funeral table and Cahors is left.
Vodka and other strong alcoholic drinks are not placed on the funeral table; Cahors is church wine.
IN memorial days they also order a memorial service for the deceased. After the liturgy, parishioners visit the graveyard to honor the memory of their relatives at the graves. It is very important not to forget to visit the graves of your loved ones, regularly clean them of leaves and grass, paint the gate and change the flowers in the vases.
Memorial days
Because memorial Saturdays timed to coincide with transitional Orthodox holidays, then they fall out at different times. Therefore, you can find out the dates of Saturdays in Orthodox calendar for the current year. Memorial days fall on:
- Meat-free Saturday;
- Trinity Saturday;
- Dmitrievskaya Saturday;
- Lent.
These dates are intended to remember all believers, including their relatives. These are six special days (there are 3 memorial Saturdays during Great Lent) when it is necessary to ask for mercy from God and intercede for the deceased. Among them, Trinity and Meat Saturdays are considered universal.
On May 9, we remember all those who died in the Great Patriotic War.
Saturdays for remembering relatives fall on the eve of fasting:
- Rozhdestvensky;
- Petrova;
- Uspensky.
At this time, deceased relatives are remembered and alms are distributed. The Orthodox Church has a negative attitude towards drinking alcohol during commemoration of the dead; there is also no need to leave memorials on graves.
On the eve of Saturday, on Friday, the Great Requiem Service (Parastas) is held, on Saturday the Funeral Service is served, and after it a general requiem service is served. You should know that the memorial service is an all-night service, not a daytime service.
Trinity Memorial Day
This is the time of remembrance of all deceased Orthodox Christians. A special feature of this day is prayer for unrepentant sinners whose souls are in hell. After the service, believers visit the graves of their relatives, bring flowers and birch branches, and arrange a memorial meal (eggs, pancakes, kutia). It is customary to give alms and leave donations for the church.
On parental Saturdays, suicides cannot be commemorated, except on Trinity Saturday.
What prohibitions exist these days? Many people believe that they cannot work. However, the church fathers do not prohibit performing necessary work housework, it is not recommended to do heavy dirty work. You should also not drink alcohol or indulge in outright sin (fighting, swearing, wishing harm to others).
Meat-eating
Big Parents' Saturday on the eve of Great Lent refers to ecumenical commemorations. At this time, all Orthodox deceased are commemorated. This is one of the fundamental memorial days, because many Christians could be buried without repentance and the Orthodox funeral rite.
On this day, Orthodox believers can last time taste meat dishes. Lent begins next Sunday.
The history of Meat Empty goes back to ancient times, when the first Christians remembered brothers and sisters tortured by pagans. Many of the martyrs for the faith were not buried in a worthy manner, so the living offered prayers to heaven for them.
This Saturday you can intercede for those who died a sudden death without repentance. God gives a chance to gain the Kingdom of God to such souls who did not have time to find eternal grace during the days of earthly life.
Radonitsa
This parental Saturday falls on the ninth day after the Resurrection of Christ. Specific date for Radonitsa no, since it is tied to Easter. Radonitsa in Orthodoxy is considered a special memorial day and is considered the Easter of the dead. The living congratulate the deceased on Easter, because it is on this day that the resurrection of the dead is expected. Women cook kutya, bake pancakes and paint eggs red.
Radonitsa is considered happy holiday, so it should leave you in a good mood.
Dmitrievskaya
This day of remembrance falls on the eve of November 8, it was established by Dmitry Donskoy after the victory on the Kulikovo Field. Every year, Orthodox believers remember those who died in battle, because in those days more than 250,000 Russian soldiers were killed. Over time Dmitrievskaya Saturday became a general commemoration of all believers who suffered for the Orthodox faith. Dmitrievskaya Saturday completes the annual cycle of memorial days.
Saturdays of Great Lent
During Lent there are three parental Saturdays, falling on the second, third and fourth weeks. On these memorial days, Orthodox Christians can take personal part in the general prayer for the deceased.
Questions
How to spend a parent's Saturday evening, is it possible to do household chores? In the evening, a person can do his usual things; the church does not impose any prohibitions. If someone told you that you should not clean the house or work, then this is a superstition.
The church fathers do not approve of a strong seal and longing for the deceased.
Is it permissible to baptize a baby on parenting days? There is no ban on receiving the Sacrament of baptism on any day of the year, so you can safely baptize a child on memorial dates.
How to properly set a funeral table in a house on Radonitsa? Be sure to install additional cutlery for the deceased, and eggs, cookies, and sweets are placed on the windowsill. A spoonful of food from all the plates was placed on a plate for the deceased and this dish was left on the table until the morning. Previously, a bathhouse was heated for the deceased and a clean towel was left. It is believed that the deceased can come and wash away their sins with water.
Is it necessary to visit the cemetery on memorial days? The Church Fathers teach that it is more important to take part in the Divine Liturgy than to go to the cemetery. If it is not possible to attend the liturgy, you can offer prayers at home.
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In the calendar of the Orthodox Church there are special days on which the living commemorate the dead. It is not customary to remember every deceased person on Parental Saturday - there are rules by observing which all Orthodox believers support ancient traditions and remember their forefathers who died untimely or passed away for the sake of other people. The Orthodox Church helps in this by explaining to parishioners when and how such days should be celebrated.
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- Meat-eating - celebrated in winter-spring, in last Saturday before the Week of Last Judgment(one week before Lent).
- Trinity - celebrated in spring and summer, on the last Saturday before the Feast of Pentecost (the birthday of the Church of Christ, or the Feast of the Holy Trinity).
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History and varieties
In the Christian calendar there are days called “parental Saturdays”, on which believers remember deceased relatives. There are several such holidays, each has its own name, its own characteristics and is celebrated once a year.
Mandatory for such days are church services, at which parishioners pray for their loved ones. At the end of the day, according to Orthodox traditions, memorial feasts or wakes are held.
According to the Gospel, it was on the Sabbath day of the week that Jesus Christ was laid in the tomb and mourned. Therefore, Saturday was chosen as the day of remembrance of the deceased.
Sometimes such days are mistakenly called “ecumenical parental Saturdays,” although the Orthodox faith notes only two calendar dates on which “ecumenical,” or general, memorial services are held:
Unlike ordinary parental ones, during ecumenical ones all Christians are remembered, regardless of kinship, and especially those who have no loved ones left and whom there is no one to remember.
Ecumenical meat-eating parental Saturday
On the universal meat-free Saturday, a special funeral service is read with prayers for the granting of eternal life and the remission of sins, called “Memory of all Orthodox Christians who have died from time immemorial, our father and brothers.”
This parental Saturday got its name because the Sunday following it is called “meat week.” On such a day it is allowed to eat meat for the last time before Lent. This Sunday is also called " Little Maslenitsa", since after it the week of Maslenitsa begins.
Parental Meat Food was also named because of the obligatory remembrance of loved ones on this day, among whom parents come first.
Meat is the first major Saturday of the year to commemorate dead Christians. Special attention when performing prayers on meat-free parental Saturday, it is reserved for Orthodox Christians who have died away from native land, at sea, in the mountains, in battle, from infectious diseases or from hunger, from the effects of natural disasters, for those who were unable to repent before death, and also for whom funeral rites were not performed. It is generally accepted that the living can help the dead with their prayers, especially on this day.
This day was not chosen by chance for commemoration, since the Sunday following the universal meat-free parental Saturday recalls the Last Judgment of Christ, which must be carried out on all people and will assign everyone their fate.
Other days for commemoration
In addition to the two ecumenical parental Saturdays, there are six more parental Saturdays - Dimitrievskaya (in the fall), Commemoration of the Dead Soldiers, Radonitsa and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent (these holidays are celebrated in the spring). The three weeks are the second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent. All parental Saturdays have a moving calendar date, except for the Commemoration of Dead Soldiers, which is celebrated on May 9. On this day they remember all those who died during the Great Patriotic War.
There is another number to remember fallen soldiers. It's September 11th. The tradition dates back to 1769, when, during the war between Russia and Poland and Turkey, it was decided to commemorate all Christian soldiers who fell for the Tsar, the Fatherland and the Faith on the battlefield on the Feast of the Beheading of John the Baptist.
Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday was initially celebrated as a memorial day for the soldiers who laid down their lives in the 1380 Battle of Kulikovo Field, but over time it became a general memorial day. They are intended to commemorate people dear and close to us.
The service held on Parental Saturday of Demetrius precedes the memory of the Holy Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica. He is considered the patron of Prince Dmitry Donskoy, who, after the victory of Russian troops on the Kulikovo Field, proposed to immortalize this event with an annual commemoration of the fallen soldiers. Over time, the memory of this was erased and the memorial Saturday of Dimitriev became one of parenting days.
When are Parents' Saturdays celebrated?
For the next four years, parents' Saturdays will not fall in January or December. They were distributed from February to November:
| Years | Ecumenical Parental Saturday (meat-free) | Saturday2nd weekLent | Saturday3rd weekLent | Saturday4th weekLent | Radonitsa | Commemoration of deceased warriors | Troitskaya districtparent's roomSaturday | Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday |
| 2018 | February 10 | March 3 | March 10 | March 17 | April 17 | May 9 | May 26 | November 3 |
| 2019 | March 2 | March 23 | March 30 | March 6 | May 7 | May 9 | June 15 | November 2 |
| 2020 | February 22 | March 14 | March 21 | March 28 | April 28 | May 9 | June 6 | November 7 |
| 2021 | March 8 | March 27 | April 3 | April 10 | May 11 | May 9 | June 19 | November 6 |
What do they do on memorial days?
On Friday evening or Saturday morning, you need to go to church and pray not only for your parents who died untimely, but also for all your loved ones who have passed away. On this day, it is customary not only to give notes and light candles for the dead, but also to bring alms - food, which is then distributed to the poor.
It is not forbidden to visit relatives at the cemetery and distribute money to poor people there. But it is forbidden to speak badly about the dead, so as not to anger them. Commemoration of relatives with alcohol is prohibited - the church categorically condemns such actions. Merry feasts, any songs are unacceptable. However, there is no need to grieve too much; it is better to pray, remembering the dead.
The weather matters on Radonitsa. If it's raining and blows strong wind, it is believed that the deceased are angry. In this case, you should go to the morning service and light candles for the dead. Then you need to visit the cemetery and remember the deceased there, but the main feast must take place at home. A visit to the cemetery is a desirable, but optional event, since it can be cleaned up any day and this is the responsibility of every relative of the deceased, and eating food, and especially alcohol, near the graves is strictly unacceptable.