Many Orthodox Christians wonder how to properly spend Parents' Day. This day is specially designed to honor deceased loved ones. In another way, the ninth day from Easter is called Radonitsa. In the traditions of Orthodoxy, such a mournful day of remembrance plays an important role.
Memorial Day and its history
On the first Tuesday after Easter celebrations, a full memorial service is held in churches for all dead Christians. In the morning on Radonitsa people with families in in full force and one by one they go to cemeteries to clean up the graves of the dead, and also leave them there for them easter eggs, Easter cakes, kutya, pancakes and pies. Pregnant women and small children traditionally do not go to the cemetery even on this holiday.
The priests believe that it is not at all necessary to leave a memorial on the grave. This is explained by the fact that such a relic of the pagan faith is long in the past. But people still honor this tradition.
The first Tuesday after Easter is called Radonitsa because Orthodox holidays continue, as does the joy in the hearts of Christians. The main thing on Radonitsa is to pray for relatives who have gone to God. You can also order a special service for each person, light a candle for the repose of the person’s soul. Other events accepted in society are not regulated by the church.
Should you drink alcohol on Parents' Day?
Drink strong alcoholic drinks Orthodox people it is forbidden. But you can remember the dead with wine. In the holy books of the Bible it is allowed to drink wine for fun. But it is forbidden to drink it in large quantities.
Leaving alcohol on the grave as a memorial is also at your own discretion. But among the Christian eves of Radonitsa there is nothing that would indicate the need for this action.
A cemetery is a sacred place where the bodies of the deceased await Judgment Day and Resurrection. Therefore, when you arrive there, you need to behave very quietly and tactfully.
So, how to spend Parents' Day correctly, how to honor the memory of the deceased? For this there are the following rules:
- Cleaning graves. The graves of the deceased must be kept clean and tidy, since on the Day of the Great Resurrection they will become the place where all Christians will awaken from eternal sleep. On Radonitsa, weeds are removed from graves, monuments are wiped, fences are painted, wreaths of artificial flowers are installed, and candles are lit in special stands.
- Prayers for the departed. Ordinary prayers for the repose can be read not only by priests, but also by relatives of the deceased.
- The right attitude. On Parents' Day, it is not advisable to indulge in unnecessary grief. After death, Christians are in better world, and you need to quietly rejoice for them.
- A modest memorial near the grave. There is no need to set sumptuous tables near the graves, but it is quite possible to commemorate them with wine and bread. According to ancient customs, you can leave some food near the grave for a deceased person, but this is not encouraged by the church. It is believed that prayers are all that the souls of Christians need in the next world.
In addition, feuds and verbal altercations with distant relatives, as well as with other people, are unacceptable in the cemetery. No scandals should disturb the peace of the dead. All complaints on this day should be forgotten. And the sacred duty of caring for the grave must be fulfilled.
If the fence on the grave requires minor repairs or painting, then this can be done on Parents' Day. The same applies to the tombstone.
On Radonitsa, according to the canons, you need to have time to visit the church and cemetery, and only then can the whole family gather to continue the holiday at home. When remembering the deceased, you can tell stories from their lives, you can laugh and cry a little. It is also worth praying intensely for the granting of the Kingdom of God to them.
In Christianity there is an opinion that the poor are blessed in spirit. By distributing memorials, you can receive a blessing from them, and also ask them to pray for your deceased relatives. How more people remember your deceased relative, so much the better for him.
What to do if relatives are buried far away?
When a person lives too far from the graves of his ancestors, he can ask one of his friends living in his hometown to go to the grave of his deceased relatives.
If this is not possible, then you should limit yourself church service and ordering a memorial service. And at the first opportunity within a year after Easter, go to the cemetery. Even in this situation, it is possible to pray for the deceased at home and remember them with their family.
Such prayers are sure to be heard, and the ancestors will receive their share of respect even without actually going to their graves.
Now you know how to spend Parents' Day correctly in order to fulfill your holy day. There is a sign that it often rains on Radonitsa. This is explained by the fact that the souls of the dead are worried about such attention to them. To determine the weather for a trip to the cemetery in advance, you can look at the forecast, or you can remember what the weather was like in Palm Sunday. They say that the weather is the same these days. Good weather on Parents' Day portends good year, and a bad one promises difficulties and trials. But these are just signs and superstitions. It's up to you to believe in them or not. It all depends on your personal worldview.
What should you never do on Parents' Day and how to properly remember the deceased?
The catechist of the Resurrection Cathedral in Semey, Vitaly Aleksandrovich Yavkin, talks about this and much more.
On Easter, many people visit the cemetery where the graves of their loved ones are located. Unfortunately, in some families there is a blasphemous custom of drinking alcohol on this day. But even those who do not do this often do not know how exactly one can and should correctly remember the dead. And even more so, not many people know why parent’s day is called Radonitsa and is celebrated precisely on the 9th day after Easter.
On Tuesday of the second week of Easter, which is called St. Thomas week, Orthodox Church celebrates Radonitsa - day special commemoration departed, the first after Easter. This is an ancient Christian holiday, which John Chrysostom mentioned at the beginning of the fourth century.
On Radonitsa it was customary, and this continues to this day, for families to go to cemeteries, to the graves of their loved ones and relatives, to mourn them, experiencing their loss once again, to remember them, listing their good deeds that the deceased performed during their earthly life, remember the good ones distinctive features their character, as if talking to the departed, believing that they hear us on this day. Etymologically, the word “Radonitsa” goes back to the words “kind” and “joy”, and Radonitsa has a special place in the annual circle of church holidays - immediately after Bright Easter week.
Radonitsa, as it were, obliges Christians not to delve into worries about the death of loved ones, but, on the contrary, to rejoice at their birth into another life - eternal life. The victory over death won by the life and resurrection of Christ displaces the sadness of temporary separation from relatives.
As for the 9th day after Easter, this is simply a matter of the Church Charter. Usually, after the Easter holidays, on the first weekday day during which we can serve a memorial service, Radonitsa falls. Throughout Bright Week (week) we rejoice at the Resurrection of the Savior, and only on Tuesday of the second week should we remember our dear departed. First of all, come to Church, order memorial services, pray for the salvation of their souls, and only then go decorate the graves of loved ones.
Is it possible to often mourn the dead and often visit their graves? Or is it better to believe that they are already in the Kingdom of God, which means they are better off than we are, and there is no need to bother them and torment ourselves?
And again I will answer that we need not to kill ourselves and cry, but to pray for our dead. You can remember them both in the temple and with good deeds in memory of them. But keep in mind, we do not know where the person dear to us ended up after death: in the Kingdom of God or in hell. This is why we do good deeds, so that the Lord will take him to himself.
As for tears, there is a sin called “self-eating,” when a person grieves more than necessary, thinks how much he did not give to the deceased, how much he could have done for him, but did not have time or did not consider it necessary. A person must be valued, respected and protected during his lifetime, so that after death he does not have to ask for forgiveness at his grave. After death, it is no longer possible to make up for lost time.
What is better and more correct on Parents' Day: to light a candle in the church for the repose of the departed, to remember them in the soul with kind words, or to gather relatives and friends at home and remember those who have passed on to another world with a dinner with alcohol? And in general, how does the Orthodox Church feel about the presence of alcoholic beverages on the table, both on parent’s day and on the day of the funeral itself?
Alcoholic drinks at funeral dinners are strictly prohibited by the Church. By commemorating deceased loved ones with alcohol, we desecrate their memory and do not honor it. They expect only prayers from us, not sumptuous dinners. We must pray for those who are no longer around. This is done because death very often comes suddenly, and a person simply does not have time to prepare for it, reconcile with God, and repent of all his sins. If at the wake we limit ourselves to just arranging the table (as often happens), spend all our energy on this, and forget about the church commemoration, then we will not bring any benefit to the soul of the deceased.
How does the Orthodox Church relate to the custom of eating in a cemetery after people have cleaned up the graveyard? Is it necessary to leave a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased”?
We can remember deceased loved ones in the cemetery, but this must be done according to the rules. Having repaired the grave after winter, we have the right to arrange a memorial dinner in the cemetery. But it must begin with a prayer for the deceased. After the meal, you need to read the prayer again.
Once again I emphasize that alcohol is unacceptable. You should also not leave alcohol or food at the grave. This is a pagan echo, when it was customary to organize not only feasts and dances in cemeteries, but also entire gladiator fights. Food also attracts crowds of drunkards to the graves, who rummage through every wreath in search of alcohol and cigarettes, followed by flocks of stray animals. Both of them trample the graves of people dear to us, and dogs even lie on the tombstones. After all, during our lifetime, none of us would allow a dirty stray dog to lie next to his mother, father or brother. Food also attracts flies and worms to the grave. You cannot stick cigarettes into a grave and light them just because the deceased liked to smoke. I repeat, he only needs our prayers.
But not only people who have drunk themselves go to cemeteries on Parents' Day in search of vodka and food, but also children - in the hope of finding candy, cookies or gingerbread on the grave that their drunken parents will never buy for them. Can't we leave food for them?
These children are sent to the cemetery by degenerate parents. And each such child is looking not only for candy for himself, but also for a scale for mom or dad. They all know that our church has a free refectory where people of any religion can come any day of the week and eat. But neither these children nor their parents come to us, because there is only one rule: you must come to the refectory sober and clean. For the most part, such people are drunk, dirty, and foul-mouthed. They behave unworthily, just like those people who stand collecting alms near the temple gates. Many parishioners, out of ignorance, give them this alms, which is strictly prohibited. After all, they take this money exclusively for alcohol.
Yes, we must give alms, do good deeds, feed and clothe the needy, but we must do this wisely. If we see that a person is really in need, or even better, if we know this person, we are obliged to help him. But if we see a hungry tramp sitting, then we don’t need to give him money, it’s better to buy him food. For he, having drunk away the money you gave him, will turn your good deed into evil.
Where did the custom of decorating the graves of loved ones with flowers and wreaths and marking the burial place by erecting a hill and a cross above it come from?
The Church has a negative attitude towards decorating graves with flowers and wreaths. This custom came to us at the end of the 19th century from Europe, where they began to decorate graves with flowers and wreaths. At that time, merchants bought out entire botanical gardens, and also created parks on the graves of their ancestors. Even the great Saint John of Kronstadt said that if you have extra money that you want to spend, it is better to distribute it to those in need. Take it to orphanage, a nursing home, where it hurts, is hungry and difficult.
You cannot decorate graves with artificial flowers, this is a deception before God. Even the Church is decorated only with fresh flowers during major holidays. Fake flowers are not a real sacrifice. If you want to decorate the grave, do it with fresh flowers. But provided that these are flowers from your garden. If they are purchased, then you don’t need them either. Better give this money to truly needy people. Your deceased loved one needs good deeds in memory of him, and not a pointless waste of money or a bouquet. We carry these flowers to calm our own souls; the dead only need our prayers. The number of colors (even or odd) does not matter. It's just superstition.
Wreaths are also not needed. This is not our custom. He was condemned by the holy fathers. According to all the rules, an Orthodox grave should be arranged like this: a simple light fence is needed so that the grave is not trampled by animals or people if the mound is erased from the face of the earth. The hill signifies the position of the deceased's body. The cross means that an Orthodox Christian is buried here. During our lifetime, we designate ourselves as Orthodox with a cross on our body. After death - a cross on the grave. Planted in the ground and rising towards the sky, it signifies the faith of Christians that the body of the deceased is here in the earth, and the soul is in heaven, that under the cross is hidden a seed that grows for eternal life in the Kingdom of God. The cross must be wooden.
But it is not durable. The marble slabs look much more beautiful and richer... Let those around you see that a person from a wealthy family is buried here, for whom they spared no expense even after death, that is, they installed an expensive stone monument, and not a cheap wooden cross.
A cross that has rotted and fallen in due time is buried on the grave, then a new one is placed. Stone slabs and steles are absolutely not needed. From a moral point of view, the Church condemns such “eternal” monuments. Because they survive the relatives of the deceased. The cemetery may remain abandoned. It is destroyed by looters, and then the sidewalks are paved with these gravestones. They walk on them, spit, and put out cigarette butts. As a living example, I can cite the cemetery that used to be located where the Spartak stadium is now located. Before the revolution, it was a burial place for Christians. In the early 60s it was destroyed, and the gravestones were stolen throughout the city. It got to the point that sidewalks were paved with them. Many of these slabs are coated with paint and covered with cement. They were sidewalks, they were trampled underfoot. If you want people to walk around in the name of your mother, father, brother and spit on their names, put up a slab like this. The Church does not prohibit it. But this is wrong and not good...People still dig up these slabs and bring them to us at the Resurrection Cathedral, where we keep them.
People often put dentures, glasses, coins in the coffin with the deceased to buy a place in Heaven, even mobile phones. In other words, they bury with the person everything that he often used during his lifetime. Is this correct?
When burying our loved ones, we should not put anything in the coffin other than what is required. And this is a veil, a pectoral cross, a halo on the forehead. If you don't know what to put, you need to ask the church. There should be no foreign objects in the coffin. All of them are an echo of paganism, when they buried in boats, dumping entire herds of slaughtered cattle there... Regarding glasses, then, if the deceased had eight pairs of glasses throughout his life, what, do you order all eight to be put in? Of course not. This is unnecessary. To meet God you do not need glasses or dentures.
Not long ago, one of our priests was invited to the funeral service for a deceased person who passed away young. And what was the priest’s surprise when he saw that a cigarette had been inserted into the deceased’s teeth, and it was smoking! When the priest asked what was going on, the relatives of the deceased replied that during his lifetime he was very fond of smoking. And this is his last cigarette, because after the funeral service he will be buried. The priest refused the funeral service and explained to the relatives of the deceased that their actions were blasphemy and a mockery of the corpse, which he did not want to join.
What should we do when the deceased come to us in a dream and ask for something (a belt, socks, cigarettes, glasses)? What is more correct in this case: go to the cemetery and leave this thing on the grave, or still light a candle for the repose in the temple loved one and pray for him?
This happens quite often, if people do not remember the deceased, do not light candles in the church, do not order magpie, if they do not even have time to pray for him. It is not the dead person who comes into our dreams. Our deceased relative is either in heaven or hell. And they don’t come from there. A guardian angel sent by the Lord comes into our dreams. And this angel takes the image of our departed mothers, fathers, in a word, those who had authoritative significance for us. If we do not listen to them, we will not listen to anyone, even if the Lord himself comes to us.
Asking for things should not be taken literally. The deceased does not ask for a belt, watch or glasses, but for prayer or good deeds in memory of him. After such dreams, you need to order a magpie in the church and light a funeral candle. After visiting the temple, you can light a candle in front of the icon at home and pray for those who are no longer with us.
If possible, buy the item that the deceased asks for and give it to those in need. You cannot bury anything on the grave. The burial site is not a garbage dump. This place is holy. It's like a temple. You won’t bury anything on the territory of the Church, will you? You cannot do this at the grave of a once dearly loved or respected person.
The deceased's belongings should be distributed to those in need after his funeral. I would also like to remind you that older people who already feel the arrival own death, you need to have time to divide all your property between your heirs during your lifetime, you need to give them instructions on how to live further. The idea that if a person gives everything away, it means he will soon die is a superstition. It cannot be allowed that after the death of a person, when his body has not yet cooled down, a war arises between the heirs over who will get more and who will get less valuable property of the deceased, the soul of the deceased, looking at this, will grieve. All your material issues need to be resolved here and now, that is, during your lifetime.
- Is it possible to light a funeral candle in a church if you don’t know for sure whether the deceased person was baptized or not?
You can light candles. However, you cannot order memorial services and magpies. You can't pray for him either church prayer. You can only pray in your own words: Lord forgive all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, if this is possible.
- How often should the deceased be remembered?
It is very important to remember the deceased on the day of his death, on the 9th and 40th day, at six months and on the anniversary after death, as well as on the day of his earthly birth, on the day of remembrance of the saint whose name he bore, and on parenting days. According to church tradition, for forty days after death the soul of the deceased prepares for God's judgment. From the first to the third day she stays in the places of the earthly life of the deceased, from the third to the ninth she is shown the heavenly abodes, from the ninth to the fortieth - the torment of sinners in hell. On the fortieth day, God's decision is made where the soul of the deceased will be until the Last Judgment - when souls will again unite with transformed bodies, and the endless life of all humanity will begin in a new, transformed world, where everyone will take their place according to the passage of earthly life and largely depending from the Church’s prayers for him after his death. Therefore, the Church established special commemoration of the departed on the third, ninth and fortieth days. And, of course, we need to remember the deceased every time we visit church. You need to go here as often as possible. This is important both for us, the living, and for those who have already died and for whom we pray.
- How does the Orthodox Church relate to cremation?
The method of burial through cremation of the body, which is now quite popular in big cities, is completely non-Orthodox. It cannot be acceptable to a believer.
Thanks for the informative conversation. Everything you said can only be learned in the Church, which, alas, there is not always time to visit. What are your wishes to the family members?
Remember, the goal of every Christian’s life is the salvation of the soul. That is, inheritance after bodily death and the Second Coming of Christ of eternal blissful sojourn with God. And the more good deeds we do, the more sincere prayers we address to God, the more grace we will receive from him. Love your loved ones during life, here and now. Then, after death, it will be too late. And it is better to speak words of love to living parents today than to cry at their grave tomorrow.
The conversation was conducted by Elena FOMENKO
Radonitsa has very ancient, deep roots. Previously, it was a pagan holiday dedicated to God helping the souls of those who died there, after death, find peace and not get lost. The current Radonitsa 2017 is a holiday improved by Christianity, dedicated to the dead themselves. how to remember them correctly, how to celebrate it?
History of the holiday
And for ancient times, Radonitsa was a real holiday. When people could thank God Radunitsa for his daily work for the souls of deceased relatives and friends. He was considered a god - a guide, helping souls not to get lost and to quickly find a path for subsequent repose. Every year the living baked delicious pies, pancakes and colored eggs, making offerings to God. Radonitsa followed almost immediately after Easter, so the treats for the holiday were quite Easter.
Time passed, paganism gave way to Christianity, but some of the ancient ritual events remained. Easter, which was the day of farewell to winter, became also the day of the Resurrection of Christ, acquired a double meaning, and Radonitsa became a universal day for remembering all Christians who have ever died. After all, for Christianity, all people are equal before God, no matter whether they have relatives, position, whether they died at home, surrounded by relatives or far away.
Millions disappear every year, and their relatives cannot then perform the funeral service for them as they should; others die far away, in foreign lands. Still others are simply lonely and have no relatives. According to the teachings of Christianity, a memorial service and the prayers of loved ones are the only things that the soul of every deceased person, who has already passed beyond the bounds of life, greatly needs. Therefore, a special memorial service is held on Radonitsa, dedicated to all the dead at once. so that everyone, no matter who they were during their lifetime, what they had, could find the desired peace.
But at the same time, Radonitsa is part of the big Easter holiday. It falls annually on the 9th day from the beginning of the celebration. Therefore, for 2017, Easter passed on April 16, it turns out that it will be on April 25. This is a holiday, even if dedicated to the dead, but it is a holiday, so you can’t cry and grieve.
How should you remember your dead?
Each of the parishioners has friends or relatives who have already died. In Orthodox Radonitsa, it is important to remember them and be sure to pray. Of course, it is advisable to do this in church, participating in a special memorial service. But when there is no time or opportunity, you can pray at home.
The main thing is to remember your dead, sincerely in prayer to wish them not to get lost, to find peace, to return Home soon, to the Almighty. According to Christianity, every soul moves on to the path after death. Each one has its own, close or distant, the main thing is that it leads home - to the Father, the Almighty. As the Savior once passed.
It is also advisable to visit the cemetery. Some believe that Radonitsa should be celebrated noisily and cheerfully, but there is no need to have picnics in places of peace and tranquility. It's worth treating yourself, only at home. And it’s better to give up alcohol. No memorial glasses at graves or on headstones. the dead have no need for various gifts and sweets. They care about attention, sincere prayers of the living, and a memorial service. Sweets can be distributed to the poor and treated to friends.
Cleaning up graves is possible. Maintaining the cleanliness and safety of burials is the sacred duty of relatives or friends of the deceased. And on Radonitsa it can be fulfilled in full, once the graves have been visited. At the cemetery, it is worth praying by reading a special akathist dedicated to the repose of the deceased. One of the things that can be left later in the cemetery is a lit candle. It is possible to share bright memories and stories about the deceased. You shouldn’t kill yourself and cry; it is believed that the tears and grief of the living only interfere there, on the path of the soul. The deceased returns, worried about his loved ones.
Radonitsa is a bright, even cheerful holiday. By the way, who remembers the custom of eating at the cemetery and commemorating the deceased with vodka - it was specially introduced in the USSR to replace the memorial service.
Initially, the ritual of eating at burial sites existed in paganism; it has nothing in common with Christianity. The dead only care about attention, the prayers of loved ones, not food or money, especially since drinking alcohol while being among the graves is blasphemy.
What should you avoid?
The Church reminds that the custom of accompanying visits to graves with drunkenness, as well as leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is unacceptable blasphemy and a custom that has nothing in common with Orthodoxy.
How to pray on Memorial Day.
For all forty days after the death of a person, his family and friends must read the Psalter. How many kathismas per day depends on the time and energy of the readers, but reading must certainly be daily. After reading the entire Psalter, it is read first. You just shouldn’t forget after every “Glory. ”reading a prayer request for the remembrance of the deceased (from “Following the departure of the soul from the body”).
Many relatives and friends of the deceased, citing various circumstances, entrust this reading to others (readers) for a fee or order it from monasteries (the so-called “indestructible Psalter”). Of course, God hears such a prayer. But it will be stronger, more sincere, purer if a relative or close person to the deceased himself asks God for mercy on the deceased. And you shouldn’t waste any effort or time on this.
On the third, ninth and fortieth days, a special kathisma should be read for the deceased (it includes the 118th psalm). It is called memorial, and in liturgical books it is called “Immaculate” (according to the word found in its first verse: “Blessed are the blameless in the way that walks in the law of the Lord”).
After the kathisma, the prescribed troparia are read (they are immediately indicated after the 118th psalm in the prayer book), and after them - the 50th psalm and the troparia immaculate, or troparia for the repose (8 in number) with a refrain for each verse from the 118th psalm: “ Blessed art thou, O Lord, teach me by thy justification.”
After these troparions, the canon “Following the departure of the soul from the body” is read.
Commemoration of the deceased in the Church
The deceased must be commemorated in the Church as often as possible, not only on designated special days of remembrance, but also on any other day. The Church makes the main prayer for the repose of deceased Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, offering a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, you should submit notes with their names to the church before the start of the liturgy (or the night before) (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered).
An eight-pointed symbol is usually placed at the top of the note. orthodox cross. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - “On repose”, after which the names of those commemorated in a large, legible hand are written genitive case(answer the question “who?”), with the clergy and monastics mentioned first, indicating the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, Schema-Abbot Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrey, Nina).
All names must be given in church spelling (for example, Tatiana, Alexy) and in full (Mikhail, Lyubov, and not Misha, Lyuba).
The number of names on the note does not matter. During the funeral litany, you can take out your memorial and pray for your loved ones. The prayer will be more effective if the one commemorating himself on that day partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.
After the liturgy, a memorial service can be celebrated. The memorial service is served before the eve - a special table with an image of the crucifixion and rows of candlesticks. Here you can leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of deceased loved ones.
It is very important after death to order the sorokoust in the church - continuous commemoration during the liturgy for forty days. After its completion, the sorokoust can be ordered again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (as long as the monastery stands) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (this is an ancient Orthodox custom). The more churches where prayer is offered, the better for our neighbor!
Prayerful memory of the departed should not grow cold at home. And home prayer is a saving grace for our departed loved ones.
The prayers that we say at home are called the “cell rule.” Thus, it seems to indicate that home prayers should not be disorderly, random, but have the appearance of a rule, i.e. must be compiled according to a known rule, have a certain order and possible constancy.
The Church calls on its children to prayerfully remember the living and the departed every day. The main home prayer for the departed is the memorial; it is in every prayer book. There are prayers for the departed in both the morning and evening rules.
If you want to add special prayers for the dead to the evening and morning rules, you need to consult with the priest about this, and with his blessing, perform a home prayer rule for the dead.
Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have passed into another world.
The Church commands us to pray every day for deceased parents, relatives, known people and benefactors. For this purpose, the following is included in the daily morning prayers: short prayer about the deceased:
“Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”
PRAYERS FOR THE DECEASED
God of spirits and all flesh, having trampled down death and abolished the devil, and given life to Thy world; Himself, Lord, rest the soul of Your departed servant (Your departed servant or Your departed servant), [name of the rivers], in a brighter place, in a greener place, in a calm place, from where sickness, sorrow and sighing have escaped. Every sin committed by him (her or them), in word, or deed, or thought, as God is good and a lover of mankind, forgive him. For there is no man who will live and not sin. For You are the only one without sin, Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and Your word true.
Prayer for a deceased Christian
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your departed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, Faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession. Be merciful to the same, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You generously rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen
Prayer of St. Leo of Optina to the Lord for a parent who died without repentance
Seek, Lord, the lost soul of my father (name), and if possible, have mercy! Your ways are inscrutable. Do not count this prayer of mine as a sin. But Thy holy will be done.
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of eternal life, Your departed servant (Your) (name), and as the Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and iniquities, let go and forgive all his (her) voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him (her) from eternal torment and the fire of hell, and grant him (her) communion and enjoyment of Your eternal blessings prepared for those who love You: after all, although he (s) sinned, he did not depart from You, and without a doubt she believed in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, God glorified in the Trinity, and Orthodoxy confessed the Trinity of the Consubstantial One even until her last breath.
Therefore, be merciful to him (her), and put faith in You instead of works, and rest with Your saints, as the Generous One: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the only sinless one, and Your truth is eternal, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, and we send up glory to You, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer for the deceased after a long illness
God, You allowed that Your servant (Your servant) served You in the midst of suffering and illness, thus participating in the Passion of Christ; We ask You to honor him (her) participation in the glory of the Savior through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Prayer for the repose of those who have died after a serious and long illness
God! You are righteous, and Your judgment is righteous: You, in Your eternal Wisdom, have set a limit to our life, which no one will pass. Wise are Your laws, inscrutable are Your ways! You command the angel of death to remove from the body the soul of a baby and an old man, a husband and a young man, a healthy and a sick person, according to Your indescribable and unknown destinies; but we believe that this is Your holy will, and also, according to the judgment of Your truth, You, Most Good Lord, as the all-wise and omnipotent and omniscient Physician of our souls and bodies, send illnesses and ailments, troubles and misadventures to man as spiritual healing.
You strike him and heal, you kill the corruptible in him and revive the immortal, and, like a child-loving Father, you punish: we pray to You, O Lord who loves mankind, accept your departed servant (your servant) (name), whom you have sought with your love for mankind, punished with severe physical illness in order to save the soul from spiritual death; and since Your servant (Your) accepted all this from You with humility, patience and love for You, as the unceasing Physician of our souls and bodies, now show him (her) Your rich mercy, as one who has endured (s) all this for their sins.
Lord, impute to him (her) this temporary serious illness as some kind of punishment for sins committed on this earth, and heal his (her) soul from sinful ailments.
Have mercy, Lord, have mercy on the slave (slave) (name) who has been sought by You and temporarily punished (name), I pray You, do not punish with deprivation of Your eternal heavenly blessings, but deign him (her) to enjoy them in Your Kingdom .
If your deceased servant(s) did not think about why he was worthy of enduring such an illness, which was the touch of your healing and providential Hand, he thought obstinately or, out of his foolishness, grumbled (a) in his heart, because he considered such a burden unbearable, or because of the weakness of his nature, weakened by a long illness, he was upset by such a misfortune, we pray to You, Long-suffering and Much-Merciful Lord, forgive him (her) these sins according to Your boundless mercy and Your endless mercy towards us, Your sinful and unworthy servants, forgive for the sake of Your love for the human race; if his (her) iniquities were above all limits, and illness and illness did not prompt her to complete and sincere repentance, we beg You, the Head of our life, we beg You with Your redemptive merits, have mercy and save, O Savior, Your servant (yu) (name) from eternal death. Lord God, our Savior!
You, by faith in You, granted us forgiveness and remission of sins, granting pardon and healing to a 38-year-old paralytic, when You said: “Your sins are forgiven you”; With the same faith and hope in Your goodness, we resort to Your, O Most Generous Jesus, ineffable mercy and in the tenderness of our hearts we pray to You, Lord: remember now and today this word of mercy, grant the word of remission of sins to the deceased (s), who is ever remembered ( -oh) by us to Thy servant (Your) (name), may he be healed spiritually, and may he dwell in a bright place, in a peaceful place, where there is no illness, no sorrow, no groaning, and may his illnesses and ailments be counted there (her), tears of suffering and sorrow into a source of joy in the Spirit. Amen.
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and confess that You have blessed me to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. By your good and wise will you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you gave to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; Even if you care more about the clothing and decoration of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; if you upset anyone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor, or condemn someone or anything else you have done from such evil people.
Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Thy great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life to ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, for forgiveness of her sins. Yes, as if You, God, placed a crown of stone on her head, crowning her here on earth; So crown me with Your eternal glory in Your Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them the all-holy may eternally sing Your name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not consign him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even to your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, the hedgehog to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen
Parents' prayer for deceased children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom my deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to Thee, Judge of heaven and earth, with Thy endless love for us sinners, forgive my departed child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been abandoned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen
Prayer of parents for deceased children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart, I run to You and pray to You: remember, Lord, in Your Kingdom your departed servant, my child (name), and create for him an eternal memory. You, the Lord of life and death, gave me this child, and by Your good and wise will you deigned to take him from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord.
I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth: according to Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, committed consciously and out of ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins, so that they may not remain on our children, for I know that we have sinned a lot before You, we have not kept many things and have not done what You commanded us.
If our deceased child, through his own or our fault, during his life worked more for the world and his flesh than for You, his Lord and God; if you have loved the deceptions of this world more than Your word and Your commandments; if he indulged in the pleasures of life, and not in contrition for his sins, and in intemperance forgot wakefulness, fasting and prayer - I earnestly pray to You, forgive, most good Father, all these sins of my child, forgive and forgive me, if he has done any other evil in his life yours.
Oh Jesus Christ! You raised the daughter of Jairus through faith and the prayer of her father, You healed the daughter of a Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother, hear my prayer, do not reject my prayer for my child.
Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins, and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, deliver him from eternal torment and settle with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no illness, no sorrow, no groans, but endless life! For there is no person who has not sinned during his life, and only You are the only sinless one! May my child hear Last Judgment Your desired voice: “Come, you blessed of My Father, and inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the beginning of the world.” For You are the Father of mercies and generosity, You are our life and resurrection, and to You we send up glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Mother's prayer (home prayer) for the stillborn and unbaptized children of St. Arseny of Athos
Lord, have mercy on my children who died in my womb! For my faith and tears according to Thy mercy, Lord, do not deprive them of Thy Divine light!
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos for the departed
Most Holy Lady Theotokos! We appeal to You, our Intercessor, for You are our quick helper and unceasing intercessor before God! We especially pray to You at this hour: help the deceased servant of God (deceased servant of God) (name), who is tormented in hell; We pray to You, Lady of the world, by Your power drive away the terrible dark spirits from his (her) soul, driven by fear, so that they may be confused and put to shame before You; free him/her from torment in hell.
We pray to You, Most Holy Theotokos, with Your honest robe protect him (her), pray for the sinful servant of God (sinful servant of God) (name), so that God will ease his (her) torment and remove him from the abyss of hell, so that he (she) may pass from hell to heaven. We pray to You, our Intercessor, intercede for God’s servant (name) with Your maternal boldness in the Lord; We pray to You, our Helper, help him (her) to justify himself before God, the Creator of heaven and earth, and beg Your Only Begotten Son, the Lord God and our Savior Jesus Christ, to rest the deceased in the bosom of Abraham with the righteous and all the saints. Amen.
Prayer for the suddenly deceased
Lord Jesus Christ, Lord of life and death, You said in Your holy Gospel: “Watch, because you do not know at what hour your Lord will come, for at what hour you do not think the Son of Man will come.” But we, earthly and sinful, given over to the sorrows and pleasures of life, forget about the hour of our death, and therefore we are called to You, Judge of heaven and earth, suddenly, at an hour when we did not expect or imagine.
So suddenly Your deceased servant, our brother (name), was called to You.
Mysterious and incomprehensible are the ways of Your wondrous providence for us, Lord Savior! I humbly bow my head before these Thy paths, Lord Lord, and I earnestly pray to Thee with faith: look down from the height of Thy holy dwelling and overshadow me with Thy grace, so that my prayer may be directed before Thee like fragrant incense.
Most merciful Lord, hear my prayer for Your servant (name), who, according to Your inscrutable destinies, was suddenly kidnapped from us by death; have mercy and mercy on his trembling soul, called to Your impartial judgment at an hour in which it did not expect.
Do not reprove her with Your wrath, and do not punish her with Your anger, but have mercy and have mercy on her for the sake of Your suffering on the cross and through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother and all Your saints, forgive her all sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance. After all, although Your servant (name) was raptured, in his life he believed in You and confessed You, God and the Savior of the world, Christ, and had hope in You: impute this faith and hope to him instead of works!
Merciful Lord! You do not desire the death of a sinner, but You mercifully accept from him and for him everything that is done towards conversion and salvation, and You Yourself improve his path for his salvation.
I also pray to You, deign to remember all the works of mercy and all the prayers done here on earth for Your deceased servant, deign to accept my prayer for him along with the prayers of the clergy of Your Holy Church and deign to forgive his soul all the sins, calm his troubled heart, spare him from eternal torment and rest in a bright place.
For You have mercy and save us, Christ our Savior, and unto You alone befits unspeakable goodness and eternal glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer for those who died without repentance to St. Paisius the Great
Oh, sacred head, reverend father, blessed Paisius! Do not forget your unfortunate ones to the end, and always remember us in your holy and auspicious prayers to God!
Remember your flock which you have shepherded and do not forget to visit your children. Pray for us, holy father, for your spiritual children, as one who has boldness towards the Heavenly King; Pray for us unceasingly before the Lord and do not reject us, who honor you with faith and love.
Remember us unworthy at the Throne of the Almighty and without ceasing to pray for us to Christ God, for you have been given the grace to pray for us.
For we do not think of you as dead: if you passed away from us in body, then after death you remain alive. Do not give up on us in spirit, keeping us from the enemy’s arrows and all demonic seductions and snares of the devil, our good shepherd.
For the shrine with your relics is always visible before our eyes, but your holy soul is with hosts of Angels, with Ethereal faces, with By heavenly forces standing before the Throne of the Almighty, he rejoices with dignity.
Knowing truly that even after death you remain alive, we fall down and pray to you: pray for us to the Almighty God, for the benefit of our souls, and ask us time for repentance, so that we may move from earth to heaven without hindrance, and may we get rid of bitter ordeals and demons and air princes and from eternal torment. And may we be heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven with all the righteous, who from time immemorial have pleased our God Jesus Christ, to Whom is due all glory, honor and worship, with His Beginning Father and with His Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
The venerable Optina elders sometimes allowed the commemoration of suicides at home prayer, for whom, according to the 14th rule of Timothy of Alexandria, there could be no offering in the Church. Thus, the Monk Leonid, in the Leo schema, gave the following instructions about prayer to one of his students (Pavel Tambovtsev), whose father committed suicide: “Commit both yourself and the fate of your parent to the will of the Lord, the all-wise, all-powerful. Do not test the Most High's fate. Striving with humility to strengthen yourself within the limits of moderate sadness. Pray to the all-good Creator, thereby fulfilling the duty of love and filial duties. - according to the spirit of the virtuous and wise: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of my father: if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done.” Pray simply, without testing, committing your heart to the right hand of the Most High. Of course, it was not the will of God for such a sad death of your parent: but now it is completely in the will of the Mighty One to cast both soul and body into the fiery furnace, who both humbles and exalts, dies and gives life, brings down to hell and exalts. Moreover, He is so merciful, omnipotent and loving that the good qualities of all earthly beings are nothing before His highest goodness. For this reason, you should not be overly sad. You will say: “I love my parent, which is why I grieve inconsolably.” Fair. But God is beyond comparison greater than you. loved and loves him. This means that you can only leave the eternal fate of your parent to the goodness and mercy of God, Who, if He deigns to have mercy, then who can resist Him?
Prayer for the unbaptized deceased to the martyr Uar
Oh, holy martyr Uar, worthy of special surprise, striving to imitate the Lord Christ, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor and voluntarily suffered for Him.
And now the Church honors you as glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who gave you the grace of great boldness towards Him.
And now, standing before Him with the Angels, triumphant in the upper world, contemplating the Holy Trinity and enjoying the Light of the Beginning Radiance, remember the suffering of our relatives who died in wickedness, accept our petition, and how the unfaithful family of Cleopatra freed from eternal torment with your prayers, so remember and the godless buried, who died unbaptized, hasten to ask them for relief from eternal torment, so that with one mouth and one heart we may glorify the Most Merciful Creator forever and ever. Amen.
RITE OF LITHIA PERFORMED BY A LAYMAN AT HOME AND IN THE CEMETERY
Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of Truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything. Treasure of good things and life to the Giver, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Blessed One, our souls.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us. (Read three times, with the sign of the cross and bow from the waist.)
Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us; Lord, cleanse our sins; Master, forgive our iniquities; Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Thy name's sake.
Lord, have mercy. (Thrice.)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Our Father, who art in heaven! Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, just as we forgive our debtors; and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Lord, have mercy. (12 times.)
Come, let us worship our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us worship and fall down before Christ, our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us bow and fall down to Christ Himself, the King and our God. (Bow.)
Living in the help of the Most High, he will settle in the shelter of God in Heaven. Says the Lord: Thou art my Protector and my Refuge. My God, and I trust in Him. For He will deliver you from the snare of the trap, and from rebellious words, His splash will overshadow you, and under His wing you hope: His truth will surround you with weapons. Do not be afraid from the fear of the night, from the arrow that flies during the day, from the thing that passes in the darkness, from the cloak, and from the demon of the midday. Thousands will fall from your country, and darkness will fall at your right hand, but it will not come close to you, otherwise you will look at your eyes, and you will see the reward of sinners. For You, O Lord, are my hope, You have made the Most High your refuge. Evil will not come to you, and wound will not approach your body, as His Angel commanded you to keep you in all your ways. They will lift you up in their arms, but not when you dash your foot on a stone, step on an asp and a basilisk, and cross a lion and a serpent. For I have trusted in Me, and I will deliver, and I will cover, and because I have known My name. He will call to Me, and I will hear him: I am with him in sorrow, I will destroy him, and I will glorify him, I will fill him with long days, and I will show him My salvation.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, glory to Thee, O God (three times).
From the spirits of the righteous who have passed away, rest the soul of Your servant, O Savior, preserving it in the blessed life that belongs to You, O Lover of Mankind.
In Thy chamber, O Lord, where Thy holiness rests, rest also the soul of Thy servant, for Thou art the only Lover of mankind.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit: You are God, who descended into hell and loosed the bonds of those who were bound. May you and your servant rest in peace.
And now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen: One Pure and Immaculate Virgin, who gave birth to God without a seed, pray for his soul to be saved.
Kontakion, tone 8: With the saints, rest, O Christ, the soul of Your servant, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.
Ikos: Thou art the One Immortal One, who created and created man: we are made of the earth from the earth, and we will go to the same earth, as Thou Who Created me commanded, and the river unto me: as Thou art the earth, and to the earth we go, and even as men we go, creating a funeral lamentation song: Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.
We magnify Thee, the most honorable Cherub and the most glorious without comparison, the Seraphim, who gave birth to God the Word without corruption.
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Lord, have mercy (three times), bless.
Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us. Amen.
In blessed dormition, grant eternal peace. Lord, Thy departed servant (name) and create for him eternal memory.
Eternal memory (three times).
His soul will dwell in the good, and his memory throughout generation and generation.
Reading the Psalter for the departed
Reading the Psalter in memory of the departed brings them greater consolation, because... this reading is accepted by the Lord himself as a pleasant propitiatory sacrifice to cleanse the sins of those remembered. “Psalter. He prays to God for the whole world,” writes St. Basil the Great.
There is a practice of reading one 17th kathisma; this practice is used when there is a lack of time.
Reading the Psalter is a prayer to the Lord. Devotees of the Church recommend that the believer read the Psalter one kathisma daily, paying attention to the fact that an indispensable condition for reading is piety and purity of heart.
Akathist for the one who diedOther popular prayers:
Akathists Holy Mother of God and the holy saints of God
Orthodox Icons of the Holy Saints of God and the Blessed Virgin Mary
Other prayers to the icon Mother of God and saints
Types and forms of Orthodox prayers
Prayers and canons for the deceased
Prayers to the saints for healing
About prayer: Why you need to pray, When you need to pray, What types of prayers there are
Prayers during an attack by evil spirits
Prayer book of the Orthodox Warrior
Prayers for warriors
Prayers for children
Prayers for infertility
Prayers for sleep disturbances in infants
Taking into account the fact that Radonitsa is tied to Easter day, then everyone year and date of Radonitsa are different. In 2015, Easter will be celebrated on April 12, therefore Radonitsa falls on April 21.
“To visit the cemetery, the Church appoints a special day - Radonitsa (from the word joy - after all, the Easter holiday continues) and this holiday is celebrated on the Tuesday after Easter week. Usually on this day, after the evening service or after the Liturgy, a full requiem service is celebrated, which includes Easter chants. Believers visit the cemetery to pray for the departed.
We must remember that the tradition of leaving food and Easter eggs on graves is paganism, which was revived in the Soviet Union when the state persecuted the right-wing faith. When faith is persecuted, severe superstitions arise. The souls of our departed loved ones need prayer. From a church point of view, it is unacceptable from a church point of view to place vodka and black bread on the grave, and next to it a photograph of the deceased: this, in modern language, is a remake, since, for example, photography appeared a little over a hundred years ago: this means that this is a tradition new.
As for commemorating the dead with alcohol: any kind of drunkenness is unacceptable. The Holy Scriptures allow the use of wine: “Wine makes glad the heart of man” (Psalm 103:15), but warns against excess: “Do not get drunk with wine, for there is fornication in it” (Eph. 5:18). You can drink, but you can't get drunk.
According to the testimony of St. John Chrysostom (IV century), this holiday was celebrated in Christian cemeteries already in ancient times. The special place of Radonitsa in the annual circle of church holidays - immediately after Easter Week - seems to oblige Christians not to delve into worries about the death of loved ones, but, on the contrary, to rejoice at their birth into another life - eternal life. The victory over death, won by the death and resurrection of Christ, displaces the sadness of temporary separation from relatives, and therefore we, in the words of Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh, “stand with faith, hope and Easter confidence at the tombs of the departed.”
How to treat the grave of an Orthodox Christian
Cemeteries are sacred places, where the bodies of the dead rest until the future resurrection.
Even according to the laws of pagan states, tombs were considered sacred and inviolable.
From deep pre-Christian antiquity there is a custom of marking burial places by building a hill above it.
Having adopted this custom, the Christian Church decorates the grave mound with the victorious sign of our salvation - the Holy Life-Giving Cross, inscribed on the tombstone or placed above the tombstone.
We call our dead departed, not deceased, because at a certain time they will rise from the grave.
The grave is the place of future resurrection, and therefore it is necessary to keep it clean and orderly.
The cross on the grave of an Orthodox Christian is a silent preacher of blessed immortality and resurrection. Planted in the ground and rising towards the sky, it signifies the faith of Christians that the body of the deceased is here in the earth, and the soul is in heaven, that under the cross is hidden a seed that grows for eternal life in the Kingdom of God.
The cross on the grave is placed at the feet of the deceased so that the Crucifix is facing the face of the deceased.
We must especially ensure that the cross on the grave is not askew, that it is always painted, clean and well-groomed.
A simple, modest cross made of metal or wood is more appropriate for the grave of an Orthodox Christian than expensive monuments and tombstones made of granite and marble.
How to behave in a cemetery
Arriving at the cemetery, you need to light a candle and perform a lithium (this word literally means intense prayer. To perform the rite of lithium when commemorating the dead, you need to invite a priest. More short rank, which can also be performed by laymen, is given below “The rite of litia performed by a layman at home and in the cemetery”).
If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed.
Then clean up the grave or simply remain silent and remember the deceased.
There is no need to eat or drink in a cemetery; it is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.
There is no need to leave food on the grave; it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.
How to properly remember the dead
“We will try, as much as possible, to help the departed, instead of tears, instead of sobs, instead of magnificent tombs - with our prayers, alms and offerings for them, so that in this way both they and we will receive the promised benefits,” writes St. John Chrysostom.
Prayer for the departed is the greatest and most important thing we can do for those who have passed on to another world.
By and large, the deceased does not need either a coffin or a monument - all this is a tribute to traditions, albeit pious ones.
But forever living soul the deceased experiences a great need for our constant prayer, because she herself cannot do good deeds with which she would be able to appease God.
That is why prayer at home for loved ones, prayer in the cemetery at the grave of the deceased is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.
Commemoration in the Church provides special assistance to the deceased.
Before visiting the cemetery, one of the relatives should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (it is best if this is commemorated at a proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased, and then in a sign of the washing away of his sins will be lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts).
After the liturgy, a memorial service must be celebrated.
The prayer will be more effective if the one commemorating on this day himself partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.
IN certain days year, the Church commemorates all fathers and brothers in faith who have passed away from time immemorial, who have been worthy of Christian death, as well as those who were overtaken by sudden death and were not guided into the afterlife by the prayers of the Church.
The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. They all don't have constant number, but are associated with the moving Lenten-Easter cycle.
These are the days:
1.
Meat Saturday- eight days before the start of Lent, on the eve of the Last Judgment Week.
2.
Parents' Saturdays- in the second, third and fourth weeks of Lent.
3.
Trinity Parents' Saturday- on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension.
On the eve of each of these days, special funeral all-night vigils are served in churches - parastases, and after the liturgy there are ecumenical memorial services.
In addition to these general church days, the Russian Orthodox Church has established some more, namely:
4.
Radonitsa (Radunitsa)- Easter commemoration of the departed, occurs in the second week after Easter, on Tuesday.
5.
Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday- a day of special commemoration of killed soldiers, originally established in memory of the Battle of Kulikovo, and later became a day of prayer for all Orthodox soldiers and military leaders. It happens on the Saturday preceding the eighth of November - the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica.
6.
Commemoration of deceased warriors- April 26 (May 9 new style).
In addition to these days of general church remembrance, Every deceased Orthodox Christian should be commemorated annually on his birthday, death, and name day. It is very useful to donate to the church on memorable days, give alms to the poor with a request to pray for the departed.
Prayer for a deceased Christian
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your departed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, Faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession. Be merciful to the same, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You generously rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
Widower's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and confess that You have blessed me to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. By your good and wise will you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you gave to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; Even if you care more about the clothing and decoration of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; if you upset anyone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor, or condemn someone or anything else you have done from such evil people. Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Thy great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life to ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, for forgiveness of her sins. Yes, as if You, God, placed a crown of stone on her head, crowning her here on earth; Thus, crown me with Your eternal glory in Your Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, and together with them forever sing Your all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Widow's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not consign him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even to your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, the hedgehog to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Parents' prayer for deceased children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to Thee, Judge of heaven and earth, with Thy endless love for us sinners, forgive my departed child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the keeper of the orphans, the refuge of the grieving and the comforter of the weeping. I come running to you, an orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my parent (my mother), (name) (or: with my parents who gave birth and raised me, their names) - , and his soul (or: her, or: them), as having gone (or: gone) to You with true faith in You and with firm hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept into Your Kingdom of Heaven. I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away (or: taken away, or: taken away) from me, and I ask You not to take away from him (or: from her, or: from them) Your mercy and mercy. We know, Lord, as You are the Judge of this world, you punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish eternal punishment the unforgettable deceased (unforgettable deceased) for me Thy servant (Thy servant), my parent (my mother) (name), but forgive him (her) all his (her) sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by him (her) in his (her) life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him (you) and deliver him from eternal torment. You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent (my deceased mother) in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to order him in a place of light, in a place of coolness and in a place of peace, with all the saints, from nowhere all sickness, sorrow and sighing have fled. Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (Thy) (name) my warm prayer and give him (her) Thy reward for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He taught (taught) me first of all to lead Thee, my Lord, in reverently pray to You, trust in You alone in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his (her) concern for my spiritual progress, for the warmth of his (her) prayer for me before You and for all the gifts he (she) asked me from You, reward him (her) with Your mercy. Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal Kingdom. For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
The rite of litia performed by a layman at home and in the cemetery
Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of Truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything. Treasure of good things and life to the Giver, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Blessed One, our souls.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us. (Read three times, with the sign of the cross and bow from the waist.)
Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us; Lord, cleanse our sins; Master, forgive our iniquities; Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Thy name's sake.
Lord, have mercy. (Thrice.)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Our Father, who art in heaven! Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, just as we forgive our debtors; and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Lord, have mercy. (12 times.)
Come, let us worship our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us worship and fall down before Christ, our King God. (Bow.)
Come, let us bow and fall down to Christ Himself, the King and our God. (Bow.)