We recently celebrated March 8th. On this beautiful spring day, every woman felt at least a little like a fairy-tale princess, and every man - a kind prince for his beloved.

One of the most beautiful and tempting fairy tales, familiar to us from childhood, but not forgotten even in adulthood, is the story of Cinderella. This fairy tale attracts us because it gives us the opportunity to believe that there are miracles in the world and that even an impossible dream is achievable.

We have long been accustomed to the idea of ​​Cinderella as a poor, hard-working girl who was very lucky to marry a prince. But is everything so simple and obvious in Charles Perrault’s fairy tale? Let's discover the truth about this heroine and figure out what real reason her success.

In fact, Cinderella was noble birth: her father is “a respectable and noble man,” and a simple family would not be invited to a royal ball in the palace: “the son of the king of that country threw a big ball and called all the noble people with their wives and daughters to it.”

Cinderella was not from a poor family, but from a wealthy family. Her stepsisters were bought expensive outfits for the royal ball: the eldest - “a red velvet dress and a precious headdress that... was brought from overseas,” the youngest - a modest dress and “a cape embroidered with golden flowers, and a diamond belt like no other.” from a noble lady." Also, their caps were sewn by the most skilled milliner (and, apparently, an expensive one), and the flies were “bought from the best craftswoman in the city” (all the best is expensive!).

Cinderella could have worn the same dress, cap and cape for a trip with her father, stepmother and sisters to the royal ball. If it were not for the evil will of the stepmother, who saw in her stepdaughter an obvious competitor for her ugly and rude daughters.

Cinderella was not an ignorant simpleton either - obviously, before her mother’s death, she managed to receive a good education and upbringing, required for a noble young lady of that time. Note that the girl had a great understanding of fashion, she had a developed aesthetic feeling(remember that the sisters asked Cinderella which comb, ribbon or buckle to choose, because she understood better than them, “what is beautiful and what is ugly,” and “no one knew how to pin lace or curl curls as skillfully as she did” – where would such a taste come from from an uneducated servant?!). When Cinderella was in the palace, she apparently amazed everyone not only with her beauty, rich appearance and chic dress, but also with good manners (after all, a simpleton, even dressed in velvet and silk, would not be mistaken for a princess). Here's an example: Cinderella sat down with her sisters and said a few words to each nice words(this was not only the call of Cinderella’s kind soul, but also the rule of etiquette of that time, she treated them to fruits, which the prince himself brought to her). When the clock struck fifteen to twelve, she bowed to everyone present (again, knowledge of etiquette). And she danced superbly - and these are difficult dances of the 17th century! - (“She danced so easily and gracefully that everyone admired her even more than before”), apparently, she used to have a dance teacher.

That is, in essence, the girl was wealthy, well-mannered and educated, in addition to other advantages given to her by nature. Why was she a maid in own home? Why didn't she seem to see or didn't want to admit real reason why she couldn’t go to the ball, but she found excuses for herself and others? Remember, when her sisters sarcastically ask her if she would like to go to the royal ball, she responds with sincere simplicity: “Oh, what are you saying, sisters! You're laughing at me! Will they let me into the palace in this dress and in these shoes?!”

But it wasn’t the ugly dress or the big wooden shoes that mattered. The truth was that Cinderella had the right to be in the palace, to wear beautiful dresses, elegant shoes - this right belonged to her even more than to her step-sisters - it was her inheritance - her father’s money. But she did not dare to defend her right - what already belonged to her - it was simply difficult for her to walk this path. She apparently loved her father and did not want to upset him with “showdowns”; she was very “kind, friendly, sweet - just like her late mother.” Or, perhaps, she had an imposed complex - she really saw herself as unworthy of what her sisters had. It was easier for her to withdraw into herself and work hard around the house (although her family would have had enough money to hire a maid, and more than one, or, in extreme cases, four women in the house could share all the responsibilities, rather than dumping everything for one defenseless girl), sit in the evenings by the fireplace on a box of ashes (wouldn’t she find some kind of bench so as not to dirty her only patched and washed dress?), sleep on a prickly straw mat in the attic, not only clean boilers and pots, wash stairs, but also clean the rooms of the stepmother and her two daughters. And this was done by an heiress, well-mannered and educated! An obvious humiliation - she could occupy any bedroom, have a four-poster bed and carved dressing table, and she just looked at these beautiful things: not as if they were her own, but as if they belonged to “both young ladies,” as if Cinderella was not a legitimate daughter, but a poor orphan taken in for upbringing, but sometimes they do much better with an orphan!

What a strange situation - the one who could have owned everything in the house was more powerless than the maid. Having wealth and opportunities, Cinderella either saw everything in a different light - she did not dare admit to herself that she was being treated unfairly, that she also had rights, or she did not believe in herself, considering herself unworthy, or she was held back by the fear of her stepmother or the fear of upsetting her. father.

Doesn’t it often happen in our lives when we have wealth - the potential of opportunities, when we have talent, abilities, but we see only obstacles and unenviable circumstances that blind our eyes - instead of looking around, we dare to do the first step, overcome everything and live the life that we deserve, which is destined for us!

But Cinderella had a wonderful gift, which nevertheless helped her fulfill her dream - to go to the ball and marry the prince. This is her character.

What distinguished Cinderella from her sisters was her gratitude. If they took it for granted that their stepsister looked after them like a maid, then Cinderella was not at all like that. After the first ball, she ran to her sorceress godmother to thank her for an evening full of joy. So we also need to thank fate, the people around us for what we have, especially for successes, for pleasant moments, even when there are a lot of troubles in life - we need not to dwell on the negative, but think only about the good. Without gratitude, no one will achieve much. I think the godmother was very pleased with her pupil’s gratitude and rewarded her generously - the next day at the ball, Cinderella “was even more beautiful and elegant than the day before.”

Cinderella was also not vengeful, not vindictive - she never complained to her godmother about her bitter fate, although I can well imagine what a woman with magical powers could do with the offenders of the poor girl - with her stepmother and her daughters. Cinderella did not hold evil within herself - in a double sense - she did not think badly of her stepmother and at the same time did not poison her soul with malice and anger - quite fair feelings in this situation.

So, after the first visit to the palace, the girl ran to her godmother - apparently, she had done this before - and quite often - when, of course, everything around the house was done so that the stepmother would not swear. Why didn't her godmother help her earlier? I think that the girl was not ready yet, perhaps she did not have strong desire to change something - she put up with her stepmother’s behavior, she was happy with everything for now - in the sense that it was still possible to endure, but when it came to something important, when Cinderella finally showed a strong feeling, desire, dream - to go to the ball (as she cried bitterly when her stepmother and “sisters” left for the palace!), and that’s when her godmother, a sorceress, appeared...

This story teaches that if you find it difficult to start changes in your life yourself, find someone who can teach you and help you achieve your goal.

Cinderella had long ago had those qualities that eventually led her to success; it only took a chance for them to open up clearly to others. What occasion are you waiting for? Maybe it's time to start acting? Maybe your case has already happened, but you didn’t notice it?

We often have a lot of knowledge and skills, but lack determination, perhaps self-confidence, but remember: in order to start making your dreams come true, everything you need, like Cinderella, you already have it!

Let's move on. When her sisters tried in vain to put on the slipper that the mysterious princess had lost on their big feet, the girl smiled. I don’t think it was gloating, it’s just that she finally came to the realization that she deserves to live the life that she so dreamed of and that is destined for her. She even said with dignity: “But it seems she will fit me.” Cinderella was no longer afraid of her stepmother's anger, discontent and reproaches from her father: she knew her fate - and nothing could interfere with her happiness.

Cinderella's triumph was the moment when her shoe fit her - then everyone finally discovered who this girl in the old dress stained with ash really was! A girl worthy of at least a prince! But there was an even greater triumph when Cinderella took out the second shoe from her apron and put it on - no one would doubt it or talk about coincidences: the girl owned a real treasure, which no one could take away from her! And what’s also remarkable is that at that moment her godmother appeared and again turned the old dress into an even more magnificent outfit.

So I encourage you dear women finally become good fairy for yourself, find your dream and follow it, no matter what - supposedly insurmountable obstacles, the lack of faith in those around you, the main thing is to believe in yourself, finally do what you dream of, go boldly towards your fate - and then nothing will be able to stop you! http://www.lifeplayer.ru/free_mission/

And for you, men, so that your beloved always feels like a real princess next to you!

Do we know our favorite fairy tales? [ Hidden meaning, encrypted by storytellers. Reading between the lines, fragment] Korovina Elena Anatolyevna

CINDERELLA, or the Ball of Life

Ball of life

OH, MY PROPHETIC SADNESS,

OH SILENT MY FREEDOM

AND THE NON-LIVING SKY

ALWAYS LAUGHING CRYSTAL!

Osip Mandelstam

Cinderella is truly a favorite fairy tale of all times. And not just a fairy tale - a program future life entitled "How to Marry a Prince." True, in our popular consciousness(according to the sociological question) a thesis was formed with an amendment: “Lying on the stove - marry a prince.” Well, if “lying on the stove” is a program for the male population, then “marrying a prince” is certainly for the female population. And it’s funny - all over the world this is considered normal. But our sociologists screamed in unison: nightmare, horror! What's wrong with that?! Probably, our analysts and interpreters still believe that a woman’s place is at the machine during the day, and in the kitchen in the evening, and it would be even better if she, like the leader of production, lays sleepers without rest. Well, the ideals of socialism - the very one that was “without human face" And none of the “smart people” remember that, in fact, Cinderella was far from being a fidgety girl, but a hard worker.

Otherwise, where would so many options come from? All over the world they talk about Cinderella. IN different countries the plots acquire their own details, details, names of heroes. By the way, such tales with a single plot, but different details, are called wandering or migratory.

Did you know that...

In Europe alone, there are more than five hundred versions of the Cinderella fairy tale.

Retellings of it also roam throughout India, Sri Lanka, and other countries of the East. For example, the Chinese version is known, created back in the 9th century.

Tales of Cinderella have different names. For example, in the Czech Republic and Slovakia there is a fairy tale “The Three Nuts”, in Spain there is “The Magic Dresses”.

But in all folk tales the heroine has a nickname, which indicates that she works a lot around the house, especially at the hearth, and is always dirty in ash and ashes. She -

Cinderella - in Russia,

Cendrillon- in France,

Popelushka or Popelka - in Poland, the Czech Republic, Ukraine,

Aschenputtel– in Germany,

Cinderell- in England.

Naive question:

What was the girl’s name if Cinderella is just a nickname?

But no one knows this. This - main secret our heroine. But if specific name no, then any woman (of almost any age) can identify with her, waiting for a handsome prince. This is how wisely it was invented by the people!

Attention!

There are also male versions of the fairy tale, when the youngest of the brothers becomes “Cinderella” - a kind of “Cinderella”

As a rule, he is the unloved third son in the family, and his older brothers do not take him with them when they go to woo the royal daughter. That is, this is a version of the fairy tale about three brothers - two smart, and the third a fool. Remember our Ivanov and Emel, who wooed the Tsar’s daughter? However, the Western European “Cinderella” is closer not to them, but rather to Hans Andersen. This third brother, rejected by his elders, himself finds a way to get into the palace and get a beautiful princess as his wife. Usually he is called accordingly. For example, in Scandinavian fairy tales there is Espen Zamukhryshka and Espen Askeladden. The latter is translated as “digging in the ashes.”

Of course, the most famous interpretation of “Cinderella” is Perrault’s fairy tale. In the West it is traditionally called “Cinderella, or the Little Crystal Slipper,” in Russia – “Cinderella, or the Crystal Slipper.” Perrault himself called it “Cinderella, or the Shoe trimmed with fur.”

Stop! What kind of fur?! It is known that the shoes were made of crystal. I wonder, have you ever tried to wear such shoes? Never? Then remember at least the crystal vases - those that flaunt on your most prominent shelf. Crystal is heavy, like any glass, it will cut your feet, and it will crack or even break at the first step.

So where did the glass slipper come from?!

Don't know? And by mistake - it was formed from a typo in the book.

It was like this. In folk tales the slipper is usually golden. However, in some folk tales, Cinderella generally loses not her shoe, but her tiny ring. But Perrault decided that the shoe would be more spectacular.

It must be said that in his time no one lined shoes with fur, although earlier, in medieval France, rich people ordered just such shoes for themselves - for warmth and beauty. But at the court of Louis XIV, during whose time Perrault lived, they already wore completely different shoes - made of brocade, decorated with diamond buckles, and even with high heels. So, with his fur trim, Perrault could, firstly, attribute the action of the fairy tale to distant times. And secondly, to emphasize the uniqueness of fur shoes during the time of Louis XIV, and therefore to enhance their mysterious, enigmatic properties.

And so Perrault wrote in the title in French viar , that is, fur for the trim. But in the subsequent edition the typesetter mixed up the letters and a typo occurred. Viar turned into verre, What does glass mean? Well, the translators thought that glass was a bit rustic and wrote “crystal”. So the glass slipper went for a walk around the world. And everyone, without being surprised, perceived it as truly magical, made from an unusual “wonderful material.”

There is another secret in Perrault’s “Cinderella” - the appearance of a sorceress helping Cinderella. The fact is that in folk tales the action begins with the death of Cinderella's mother. And the father will soon marry someone else. And then poor Cinderella asks deceased mother help her. IN different options it happens in different ways. Sometimes, as with the Brothers Grimm or in Spanish fairy tales, dresses of unprecedented beauty grow on a tree growing on a mother’s grave. Sometimes messengers appear from the mother (birds, squirrels, good spirits etc.), bringing gifts to Cinderella (for example, three nuts, three flowers or leaves, in which outfits for the upcoming royal ball are hidden).

Perrault completely removed the image of his dead mother. He wanted to write a festive “ballroom” fairy tale, but suddenly there was talk about illness and even death?! But someone had to help poor Cinderella? This is how the fairy sorceress appeared. Perrault made her Cinderella's godmother, because in his time in France it was customary to take godfathers and mothers of patrons of the highest origin and position. Servants tried to get gentlemen to be godparents for their children, subordinates invited their boss to the christening. Well, without the protection of a “native little person” it is bad to live, either in the magical world or in the real world. After all magical world– only a reflection of the real world.

Attention! Quiz

And who can explain why the fairy created the carriage from a pumpkin?

Whoever answers correctly can fully expect that life will be full of balls and other entertainment.

Well, any guesses? Really not? Then let's reason together.

First, remember that pumpkins did not originally grow in Europe. It was brought to Europe by Spanish conquistadors returning from America. And this happened only in the 16th century. This means that by the time Perrault wrote his fairy tales, in the 17th century, pumpkin was not yet widespread and was presented to the people as some kind of overseas, mysterious guest, that is, a mysterious vegetable. That is, the fairy godmother used the magical properties of the pumpkin.

Secondly, the pumpkin was located in the beds very freely. For this, the peasants respectfully nicknamed her - Lady Mother Pumpkin. Besides, pumpkin was the most big vegetable. Isn't that what you need for a carriage?

Look, in the 20th century, American Chris Stevens grew a giant pumpkin weighing 821 kilograms and 5 meters in girth. If you take out the juicy golden pulp from there and attach the wheels, you will get a real carriage in which you can go to a ball or on a trip!

Thirdly, the golden pumpkin, like a nobleman lounging in a garden bed, resembled the gold-embroidered clothes of aristocrats. But not only! The carriages of that time were also upholstered in gold. An expensive carriage clearly emerged from the golden pumpkin.

Fourthly, pumpkin is very durable. No wonder, having scooped up its juicy inner part, the peel (rind) is used to make very durable vessels suitable for various household purposes. Well, shouldn't a magic carriage be durable?

Well, fifthly (this is generally a special case), pumpkin helps against motion sickness. Let us remember that Cinderella is not used to riding in carriages; only the nobility used them. In addition, the carriages of that time shook violently. So men generally preferred to travel on horseback, leaving the carriages to the ladies, who were ready to endure any difficulties so as not to ruin their dress and hairstyle.

Did you know that...

In Perrault's fairy tale, the prince has a proper name - Mirliflor. The storyteller formed it from two French words mirer– “strive”, “strive” and fleur- "flower".

This name has become a household name. During the time of King Louis XIV, especially elegant young people from the highest nobility began to be called “mirliflores”.

And one more “secret”, or rather, a remarkable feature of Perrault’s tale. This tale is not just literary, but reflects the features of the court world in which the storyteller lived.

Perrault introduces real modern details into an absolutely magical fairy tale, describes the details of magnificent balls and the customs that reigned at them. And all this with the humor and gallantry characteristic of the era of the “Sun King”. The fairy tale becomes an echo of the palace festivities well known to Perro, with their noise, brilliance and eternal gossip. That is why Perrault’s fairy tales are considered to be the world’s first literary, author’s fairy tales. Of course, Perrault used the plots of folk tales, but he did not simply process them in retellings, as, for example, our brilliant folklorist A.N. Afanasyev or the no less brilliant German folklore collectors, the Brothers Grimm - no! Based on folk plot Charles Perrault wrote his own fairy tale. Yes, it’s as if we hear the voice of the author himself, who loved to read his fairy tales in literary salons!

“Deep silence reigned, the dancing stopped and the violins fell silent - such attention was attracted to the unprecedented beauty of the stranger. All that was heard was a vague hum of exclamations: “Oh, how beautiful!” All the ladies looked closely at her headdress and her dress in order to acquire similar outfits tomorrow. If only the material turns out to be excellent and such skilled craftsmen can be found.”

That is, this is an aristocratic fairy tale. Hence the moral. It is in folk tales that the heroine received a prince and happiness because she was hardworking, diligent and kind to people. And in Perrault’s aristocratic fairy tale, the key to Cinderella’s success at the ball, and then in the prince’s heart, were the aristocratic values ​​of his time - good manners, the ability to behave impeccably in society. The heroine came to the ball in beautiful outfits (good taste), danced charmingly with the prince (grace in dancing) and even treated her sisters to lemons and oranges that the prince gave her (by the way, the most expensive delicacies at that time).

Here is the moral of Perrault's tale:

Undoubtedly, beauty is a real treasure for women;

Everyone tirelessly praises his handsome appearance,

But the thing is priceless - no, even more expensive! -

Grace, to put it another way – okay.

<…>Beauties, there are gifts of clothing that are more valuable than all;

But there is only one way to win hearts -

With grace, the kind gift of a fairy:

Not a single step without him, but at least to the kingdom with him.

To be honest, the diplomat Perrault covered his morality here with too much “diplomatic veneer.” By the concept of “grace,” he rather means the inner harmony (harmony) of a person, his naturalness, and finally, the humanity of his behavior and kindness of character.

But it’s remarkable - folk wisdom History itself has proven that even the most unprepossessing, but intelligent, kind and hardworking girl can attract the attention of a prince. And this is not a fiction, not a myth, but real fact from the biography of the son-heir of King Louis XIV - Dauphin Louis.

This real story you can read in the Appendix to the book. In the meantime, we will not interrupt the conversation about the fairy tale. But…

Attention all ugly girls!

Attention all fatties!

Read and remember - it HAPPENS!

Did Charles Perrault know this story? Certainly! After all, he was not only famous poet, a critic, a member of the French Academy, but also an experienced courtier, diplomat, who Louis XIV entrusted the most delicate and intricate matters.

End of introductory fragment. Full text is available at www.litres.ru

This text is an introductory fragment. From the author's book

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Many girls in childhood dreamed of meeting their Fairytale Prince and living in a fairy tale. The prince would definitely be kind, handsome, rich and with a White Horse. He would burst into her life and take her to a distant Kingdom, where there are no annoying parents, hateful teachers and nasty homework.

But the years go by, girls grow up, meet real world and living people. Things that seemed like a dream at 13 years old become strange at 20. And there is no need for a fairy tale when you decide for yourself how and with whom to spend your time. And only Cinderella - smart and beautiful - is left at home alone with hard work, because her Prince never came for her.

The Cinderella complex is a condition when a woman in adulthood continues to live childhood dreams of a fairy-tale life and refuses to accept reality. The term was first coined by Colette Dowling in her 1990 book The Cinderella Complex. Dowling defined the Cinderella complex as “fear of independence.”

In her opinion, the basis of the Cinderella complex is a woman’s subconscious desire to transfer responsibility for her life and well-being into the hands of others. Cinderellas don't live in the present, for them better life- somewhere out there, far away, waiting for them, and completely independent of them.

One day Higher Powers(God, Fairy Godmother, the Universe, etc.) will see their efforts and arrange for them a Saving Fairytale Miracle. Anything can be a miracle, but girls growing up in traditional families most often see their deliverance in Prince Charming with an indispensable set of qualities already known to them.

“The Cinderella complex is an entire system of attitudes and fears that keep women in the shadows and prevent them from fully realizing their intelligence and creativity,” writes Dowling. - Like Cinderella modern women still waiting for a man to come along and change their lives.”

Why is the Cinderella complex dangerous?

• Cinderella's dream is obviously impossible, but Cinderella will wait for its fulfillment, even realizing it.
• Everything that does not correspond to a dream - even an unrealistic one - is unworthy of Cinderella, and therefore is mercilessly erased from her life. This applies even to close people and partners, because they will never compare with the “chosen one” from her fantasies.
• Cinderella doesn't see the real reason of your failures and loneliness. In his difficult life Cinderella blames the rest of the world.
• Belief in a miracle becomes an excuse for passive life position. Cinderella will tolerate everything that does not suit her and wait for everything to change by itself, instead of changing her life on her own.

Cinderella - accustomed to hard work and expecting rewards - remains dissatisfied with life and the people around her.

The discrepancy between dreams and real life has a bad effect on Cinderella’s mental well-being and leads to neuroses, depression and various kinds of addictions (from food, alcohol, even drugs).

How is the Cinderella complex formed?

The Cinderella complex is formed in girls who are taught from childhood that everything good in life must be earned: through hard work, humility, hardship and patience. Child psychologists strongly discourage parents from resorting to such manipulations.

A child who is brought up in such conditions fulfills the requirements not out of personal motives, but out of fear of losing the love of his parents. Such children grow up with the confidence that they can only be loved for their deeds, which does not at all contribute to the formation of self-sufficiency.

In a traditional patriarchal society, most women are susceptible to the Cinderella complex, because the very basis of their upbringing is the message “be patient and wait for your Prince.” Popular culture also plays a major role in the formation of a woman’s Cinderella complex: books, films and TV series.

The story of a quiet, shy, hard-working woman who suddenly meets The One and finds her happiness is, perhaps, one of the most popular and is often exploited by the media. So the girls are waiting for princes, building castles in the air, while real life passes by.

What to do?

Women with a Cinderella complex do not at all know how to distinguish their real desires and goals from those they came up with for themselves in childhood, so they need to form a cause-and-effect relationship between their actions and achieving their dreams. Cinderellas should learn to accept themselves, maintain their self-esteem, and recognize their true feelings and desires.

Every popular fairy tale embodies archetypes of human behavior. Fairy tales that deal with models of female-male relationships are called fairy tales. Using the example of my beloved fairy tale You can better understand a woman's expectations of a man, her goal, the means by which she achieves her goal, and much more.

The client, let's call her O., is married. The husband earns well, has a high status, but he is almost never at home. O. refused social fulfillment and took on all the household chores. She feels lonely and unwanted.

To analyze her behavior model, I suggested working with a fairy tale. The client’s favorite fairy tale turned out to be the well-known “Cinderella”. By the way, in my practice this is the most popular fairy tale. But how different are all Cinderellas? Perhaps the only thing they have in common is the need to work hard. I have never met lazy Cinderellas.

So, first O. reads a fairy tale already written at home out loud. I listen carefully, paying attention to changes in voice, facial expressions, and gestures. Sometimes this information turns out to be more important than the content of the fairy tale itself.

There lived a rich man and he had a daughter. After the death of his wife, the man married another woman, who brought her two daughters into the house. And this woman became a stepmother for the man’s daughter. The girl's name was Cinderella.

Cinderella helped her father with housework and everyday life. And the older “sisters” just dressed up all day in front of the mirror. And they laughed like Cinderella works. The stepmother did not like her daughter and gave her tasks for the whole day and night - cleaning, sorting, washing, sweeping, sewing, etc. The poor girl suffered through all the insults in silence and did not dare to complain even to her father, since he completely looked at everything through his own eyes. new wife. Out of resentment, the girl climbed behind the stove, where there were bags of ash. The sisters nicknamed her Cinderella.

And one day the king threw a huge ball. And he called everyone together with their wives and daughters. Cinderella and the sisters also received an invitation. Preparations for the ball began, Cinderella sewed beautiful dresses for her sisters and did their hair. The stepmother and sisters left for the ball, and Cinderella burst into tears that she could not get there.

Her good fairy godmother decided to help the girl. They made a carriage out of a pumpkin. Of mice - coachmen. From lizards - lackeys. From an old dress - gorgeous, beautiful dress. And the Fairy gave Cinderella crystal slippers. And she said to return home before midnight, otherwise everything will turn back into place.

Cinderella arrived at the ball, but no one recognized her. The prince even ran out to meet her. "How beautiful she is"- the guests whispered. Cinderella and the Prince danced throughout the holiday. And then the clock strikes twelve times. Cinderella ran away very quickly, losing her shoe on the stairs. And the Prince didn’t even have time to ask her name and only picked up the glass slipper.

...The King issued a “decree” - whoever fits the shoe will be the Prince’s wife. The prince and his retinue toured many yards, but the shoe did not fit anyone. The prince was upset. And here was the last courtyard where Cinderella lived with her sisters. The sisters vied with each other to try on the small, fragile shoe, but it didn’t fit either one. The prince saw a small, grimy girl who did not attract his attention. But since everyone had to try on the shoe, Cinderella had to put it on.

The shoe turned out to fit. The sisters couldn’t believe it. They were angry with Cinderella and realized that she was the beauty at the ball.

...The prince took her to the palace and a few days later they had a cheerful wedding.

Cinderella forgave her stepmother and sisters because she was very kind girl.

This is where the tale ends, and we move on to its analysis.

— What was Cinderella missing at the beginning of the fairy tale?

- Father.

— Which events in the fairy tale caused the most emotions?

— When Cinderella did everything for everyone, it was a shame.

— The fairy tale talks about bags of ash that stood behind the stove. Why were they kept there?

- Don't know.

- Dream up.

“Cinderella could retire there; no one would approach the dirty bags of ashes.”

— What happened to Cinderella’s mother, why did she die?

“Mom died of impotence, she was very worried about her relationship with her husband, she was alone all the time, all by herself, she didn’t feel needed. Mental illness, nervous breakdown, closed her eyes and died.

- What did she want from her husband?

“I wanted love from my husband.”

- What actions did she want from her husband? What is a manifestation of love for her?

“I wanted support in all difficulties, understanding that she was the only one needed.”

- So she needs difficulties so that her husband can support her?

- Yes (with sadness). She is characterized by self-doubt and self-examination.

“She had doubts that her husband needed her alone.

— The husband devoted more time to work than his wife and made a fortune. His wife helped him with this.

—What was her help?

— Arrangement of life, empathy for it. She did not receive the same in return.

- How did it happen that my father chose this woman as his wife - his stepmother?

“She married him to herself, attracted him with her fortune.

— Define who a “man” is. In the fairy tale you call your father “rich man.”

— A man is one who constantly plows, a hard worker.

-Who is this man?

- This is a nobler creature.

- And the prince?

“The prince is a gentle, helpless creature, a man of delicate nature.

- What do the prince and the peasant have in common?

- State.

— The husband’s financial success was important for both the first and second wife, and for Cinderella it is also important, did I understand correctly?

- Yes, that's true. A carefree life in material terms is important.

— Why did the Fairy reward Cinderella?

— Cinderella was kind and sympathetic.

- How did her kindness manifest itself?

“She took the grins and evil of her stepmother and her daughters for granted.

— Cinderella took smiles and evil for granted, this is true useful quality what should be rewarded?

- Of course not. It's terrible to swallow tears mixed with resentment.

-What could Cinderella have done differently?

— She could express her dissatisfaction to her stepmother and her daughters, complain to her father (although he would hardly listen to her complaints).

- Could she live separately, on her own?

- Yes, I could. Her father would even help her financially.

“You and I have found out that sacrifice and patience are not qualities worth rewarding.” Then why did the Fairy reward Cinderella?

“She probably gave Cinderella... a chance to cheer up, pushed her forward, but it didn’t help.”

- What stopped her?

- The habit of being flexible, a victim, her mother was the same.

— I would like to remind you that in the psychology of the victim three positions can be distinguished, first depicted in the form of a drawing by the psychiatrist and master of transactional analysis Stephen Karpman. He called this design a dramatic triangle.

All the variety of roles can be reduced to three main ones - Rescuer (S), Persecutor (P) and Victim (F).

The triangle into which these roles are united symbolizes their connection, their constant change. Communication within this triangle makes it possible not to take responsibility for your actions and decisions, and also receive rewards for this strong emotions and the right not to solve one’s problems (since it’s all others’ fault). The text of the fairy tale ends in the following words: “Cinderella forgave her stepmother and sisters because she was a very kind girl.” There is a shift in the roles of the heroine within the “dramatic triangle” from victim to rescuer. Rescue is the same addiction because Saviors need to feel valued. They are not allowed to take care of themselves and their own needs, so they take care of others.

“It doesn’t matter what role we play in the triangle in at the moment, in the end, we always turn into the victim? If we are in a triangle, are we living as victims?

- Yes. Every time we refuse to take responsibility, we unconsciously choose to play the victim. What did Cinderella get at the end of the fairy tale?

- Married a prince.

- Do you remember I asked you: “What was Cinderella missing at the beginning of the fairy tale?”

- Yes. I answered: “Father.”

- It turns out that instead of her father, Cinderella met a prince. What did Cinderella like about the prince?

- His beauty beautiful words that he told her.

“But he didn’t even recognize Cinderella’s name.” It turns out that he spoke beautiful words to her without knowing her name. Maybe he didn’t care who he said beautiful words to, he just knew how to do it well?

- Yes, that's true.

— Earlier you called the prince a “helpless creature.” Why does Cinderella need such a prince?

- The fact that he is helpless gives Cinderella a feeling of being needed.

— How does the prince’s helplessness manifest itself?

- He is not able to serve himself, iron, clean, cook on his own.

- But if Cinderella does all this, how will her life differ from life with her stepmother?

- (with surprise) Nothing.

- Cinderella missed her father, at the end of the fairy tale she married a prince, that is, she found symbolic father, but it turned out that nothing fundamentally changed in her life. She will also iron, clean, and cook, just as she did while living with her stepmother. She will behave like her mother, not feeling needed and dying from powerlessness and loneliness. What, then, is Cinderella's real purpose in life?

- To be needed by the man who is nearby.

— How old was Cinderella when her mother died?

— What was happening in your life when you were 17?

— Nothing special, I was finishing school.

At this time, I carefully examined the genogram, adding 17 years to A.’s year of birth. She was born in 82. What important events happened in her family in 99? Almost simultaneously we said: “father died.” O.'s father died tragically under the wheels of a car; at that time he had long had another family. O.'s mother broke up with her father when O. was 11 years old, unable to bear his constant infidelities. Now it has become clear why, at the beginning of the analysis, to my question: “What was Cinderella missing at the beginning of the fairy tale?”, she answered: "Father".

- If you could change the fairy tale now, what would you change?

— After the death of her mother, Cinderella would begin to live independently. I met a reliable, faithful man.

-Where can I meet him?

- Among those who work.

-What would make Cinderella feel like her man needed her?

— His words of gratitude for his care, responsiveness to requests, joint improvement of everyday life and generally spending time together.

O.’s change in attitude towards her husband happened later, and as a result of the analysis of the fairy tale, the following points became apparent:

1. O. copies his mother’s model of behavior,
2. a serious trauma for her is the loss of her father (first his departure from the family, then death),
3. there is a desire to replace the father with a husband,
4. passive position (following the instructions of the stepmother and sisters, fairies, princes),
5. lack of contact with your own desires(the heroine’s wishes are not mentioned in the fairy tale),
6. being in a drama triangle, victim attitude - patience and humility are good,
7. the habit of solitude as a way to solve problems.