There is such a tradition: commemorate of a deceased person on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. These days who goes at the cemetery Yes, he distributes candy and baked goods among the neighbors “for the kingdom of heaven,” who organizes feasts, and who visits the church to light a candle for the repose or even order a funeral service. Why exactly these days, has anyone wondered? Few people. It’s how it is here: everyone says what’s necessary, so we do it. But I’m still in favor of doing it once, consciously, with understanding.
How to count memorial days?
First of all, memorial days need to be counted correctly. Otherwise, it turns out to be some kind of confusion: some remember on the third day, others after three days, and some even count from the funeral. I'll tell you how to do it correctly: wake days They count not from the next day after death, but from the same day. That is, the day of death is included. Well, for example, if a person died on the 5th, we consider 3 days - fifth, sixth, seventh - that means the seventh is the third day. Also, from the day of death both 9 and 40 days.
Meaning3, 9, 40 daysin Orthodoxy
In Orthodox sources, namely in the Apostolic Rules, there are instructions to perform thirds, nines and forties for the deceased - that is, to remember the dead on these very three days. And their meaning is described as follows:
The clergy say this: no more fair trial than the Court of the Lord, therefore, before appearing before it, everyone has a chance to say goodbye to their worldly life and find out what Heaven and Hell are. These days are allotted to the soul so that we can rethink our life, understand whether it was worth doing the actions that we did, and what is in store after death for our worldly pleasures. But it’s true, it’s fair.
But to be honest, the Bible barely describes the afterlife. And what is said in the Apostolic Canons is neither evidence nor refutation in Scripture itself. There are many interpretations as to why 3, 9 and 40 days , but nothing specific is said...
And you know what else? It turns out that traditionremember the deadon those same three memorial days, its roots go back to the time when Christianity was not accepted in Rus'. Maybe this is the answer?.. But I will tell you about this in my next publication.
Every tradition is based not only on the beliefs of people. It is associated with ancient knowledge that has long been forgotten or has come down to us in a truncated form. Nevertheless, it is better to honor traditions, at least out of respect for the memory of our ancestors. This is especially true for customs associated with the 9th day after a person’s death.
In this article
What does this date mean in Orthodoxy?
Orthodoxy special attention devotes to the third, ninth and fortieth day from the moment a person passes into another world. Dates have sacred meaning, therefore, memorial services for the deceased are held on these days. The number 9 belongs to the category of sacred. Nine angelic ranks will intercede with the Almighty for the soul of the deceased.
The ninth day is dedicated to nine angels who will intercede with God for the salvation of the soul of the deceased.
It is believed that on the 9th day after death the soul will first appear before the eyes of God. This is an extremely important moment. It is important that on this day, relatives and friends who remained on Earth are mentally with the deceased and commemorate with prayers and kind words. The further path of the soul depends on how relatives and friends behave.
The Orthodox tradition does not approve when tears are constantly shed for the deceased and they ask: “To whom have you left us?” This behavior speaks, rather, of one’s own selfishness. Endless tears and lamentations do not allow the soul to leave the earth and go to the afterlife. By releasing the soul in peace, relatives and friends, firstly, show humility, and secondly, allow the soul of the deceased to continue its unearthly path.
Of course, this does not mean that you need to suppress your feelings of loss and pain. This is simply impossible. You need to understand that prayers will bring for the soul of a departed relative more benefits than tears.
Meaning for the deceased
You can imagine what feelings the soul experiences when it is brought to the Creator. How exactly does this happen? important conversation, we are not allowed to know. Most likely, the nature of the conversation determines the individuality of the person, the number of bad and good deeds, his sincerity. This meeting can be decisive, since all doubts about the existence of God and the afterlife will go away. A person can experience sincere repentance, which will radically change his fate in another world.
According to Christian beliefs, after meeting the Creator, the soul will face a serious test - it will have to visit the space of hell. This is not done for the purpose of punishment, since the final decision is not made by God.
On the one hand, the deceased will have an introductory tour, where he will see with his own eyes the whole picture: how sinners live in hell, what kind of torment they are subjected to. Passing through different parts of the underworld, a soul burdened with sins can realize the unrighteousness of its earthly life and repent. If at the same time she hears the prayers of loved ones, then the chances of salvation are much greater.
After the ninth day, the soul will have a tour of hell.
On the other hand, the soul itself awaits ordeals - various trials based on temptations. Moreover, temptations are built on the sinful inclinations of the deceased, which he showed in earthly life. A glutton may have a table with various dishes, a greedy person a bag of gold, a lustful person a whole harem of women. If the soul overcomes passions and refuses temptations, it can hope for God's forgiveness on the 40th day.
Perhaps because of the upcoming ordeals, day 9 is so important. Prayers, kind words family and friends on this day will be a powerful support for the one who is being remembered. It is especially important to forgive the deceased all grievances and ask him for forgiveness. This will greatly ease the soul of the deceased and give him the opportunity to go to heaven.
Where is the soul of the deceased until 9 days
Much of the posthumous journey depends on the personality of the deceased and the circumstances of death. Deeply religious people who pass away at an advanced age feel the approach of the last hour and, in principle, are ready for it.
Such a person, having left the corporeal shell, will not waste time. He knows that the first 3 days after death will be spent on earth. Knowing the rules, he will spend the remaining days on earth visiting the people and places with which the best memories of his life are associated. He has time until an angel descends from heaven to take his soul to heaven.
These three days will be much more difficult for those whose lives were cut short as a result of an accident or murder. Such souls, suddenly torn out of life, cannot reconcile themselves and try in every possible way to “correct the mistake.” With a strong will and passionate desire to return life, they can endlessly rush around the world of the living, clinging to the illusion of return. In this case, no angel will be able to reason with such a restless dead man until he realizes his situation and completes his unfinished business. Such a soul turns into a ghost. Fortunately, this is not the rule, but the exception.
From days 3 to 9 the soul resides in heaven.
On the 3rd day, but before the funeral, the guardian angel helps the soul ascend to heaven. For the next six days, the deceased has the opportunity to explore the heavenly heavens. He is allowed to find peace, to take a break from the suffering that fills earthly life. Here they make you feel what divine goodness and eternal peace, devoid of worldly vanity, mean. The soul gains strength to appear before the Creator on the ninth day.
Documentary about the journey of the soul after death:
How to behave in a cemetery
The tradition involves visiting the grave of a deceased relative on the 9th day after death. It's better to go to the cemetery during the day. It is advisable to put the grave in order: remove garbage from the site, straighten the wreaths, put flowers; in the summer, it is better to put them in containers with water so that they last longer.
In calm weather, you can light a candle on the grave, but do not forget to extinguish it when leaving. If the deceased was a deeply religious person during his lifetime, then on the 9th day you can invite a clergyman to the cemetery to conduct a special service over the burial site. Or read the prayer yourself.
Remember that a cemetery is not a place for idle talk. It is better to focus your thoughts on the personality of the departed relative. Remember it on the good side, to yourself or out loud.
It is better to bring flowers to the grave.
You should not take alcoholic drinks to the cemetery, much less leave vodka in a glass right on the grave and pour it onto the burial site. This can harm the soul of the deceased. You can take sweets, candies and pies with you. They are treated to poor people so that they remember the deceased.
Behavior in church
If relatives adhere to Orthodox traditions, they should definitely go to church on the 9th day and perform a funeral service. The order of the ritual is as follows.
- There is an icon in the church, near which parishioners light candles for the repose. Traditionally this is an image of Jesus crucified. You need to go up to the icon and cross yourself.
- Relatives light the candles prepared in advance from other candles standing next to the icon. If there are none, you can light a candle from a lamp. But using matches or a lighter for this is prohibited.
- When the candle lights up, it should be placed next to the icon on free space. To give stability, you can pre-melt the lower part of the candle.
- After the candle for repose is lit, you must turn to the Almighty and ask him to give peace to the soul of the deceased. In this case it is necessary to name full name the person you are praying for.
- Then you should cross yourself, bow to the icon and calmly move away from the table.
As a rule, candles for the repose are placed on a special table in the left half of the temple. This table has a rectangular shape, and the round ones are intended for candles for health.
Repose candles are placed next to the crucifix.
Lighted candles are a symbol of common prayer for the soul of a person who has left this world. They strengthen collective prayer, as if illuminating the path for the soul in the afterlife. It is believed that what more people asking God to forgive the deceased’s sins, the greater the chance of the soul to end up in heaven.
Prayer can be addressed to the Almighty, to the angels, and to the saints.
Tradition of the wake
The wake should not be perceived as an ordinary formal ritual. Relatives and friends of the deceased gather for a memorial dinner to remember good deeds who left this world, the merits and best events of his life. It is believed that fond memory about the deceased will facilitate the ordeal after the 9th day.
It is not customary to invite guests to devotina, so the wake is uninvited. Anyone can come if they want to remember the deceased. The presence of the closest relatives is considered mandatory.
According to the traditions of Orthodoxy
Our Father, who art in heaven!
Hallowed be Thy name,
may your kingdom come,
Thy will be done
as in heaven and on earth.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our debts,
just as we also leave our debtors;
and do not lead us into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Some say it out loud, some say it to themselves. This is a personal choice for each guest. If you do not know the prayer by heart, then it is more convenient to simply repeat it after those who pray out loud. It is better to say the prayer while standing, out of respect for the deceased.
How to properly set the table
There must be one obligatory element at the funeral table. We are talking about a traditional dish called kutia. For funerals, it is usually prepared from rice, honey and raisins. Sometimes sugar or jam is added instead of honey. A stricter tradition recommends using boiled wheat.
Many people perceive it as a simple delicacy. This is a superficial view, since kutia is a symbolic sacred dish. The grains mean the seeds of new life, the resurrection from the dead. Sweet components indicate the bliss of the soul in the afterlife. It is advisable that this traditional dish be blessed by the priest, but if this is not possible, then you should take holy water from the temple and sprinkle it on the kutya.
Kutia is a mandatory dish at a funeral meal.
In addition to kutya, jelly or compote, as well as sweet pies, should be present on the table. However, they put pies with cabbage and fish on the table. The first dish, as a rule, is borscht.
Orthodox funerals have one important restriction, which is often violated. This is a ban on alcohol, because priests consider drunkenness a sin. Therefore, a believer will not drink alcohol at a wake, knowing that this will harm the soul of the deceased. For the same reason, you should not bring alcohol to the grave and drink it there.
Another sin that is best avoided at a funeral meal is gluttony. Therefore, the church advises against holding lavish dinners in memory of the deceased. Dishes should be simple; delicacies are inappropriate here. Since it is possible to attend a wake without an invitation, it is very difficult to calculate the number of guests. After the funeral dinner, food remains, they should be given to the poor and asked to remember the deceased. Throwing away food after a funeral is a sin.
Rules of conduct during a funeral dinner
In a funeral meal, it is not the fact of eating that is important, but the atmosphere. People come to honor the memory of the deceased and support relatives in hard days loss. We must remember that this is a mourning event. Therefore, frivolous fun and loud laughter should not be allowed at the table. Collective singing is even more inappropriate.
The ancient Romans said: “The dead are either good or nothing.” This wisdom must be kept in mind during the wake. Criticizing the deceased, discussing bad deeds, negative character traits is inappropriate and ugly.
This is due to the belief that on the 40th day in heaven a decision will be made on where to send the soul of the deceased: to heaven or hell. Any negative assessments, condemnation and criticism can be decisive in sentencing.
What do the relatives of the deceased do?
On the day when the soul appears before the Creator, family and friends must make every effort to help the deceased earn heaven. It is believed that on the 9th day after death, angels intercede for the soul. But the prayers of living people are also of great importance.
Of course, if you treat funeral customs formally, then this will be of little use. The prayer for the salvation of the soul must be sincere, then it acquires true power.
Lord Jesus, accept the soul of your servant (name of the deceased), forgive him all his sins, small and large, and accept him into heaven. How he suffered in his life, how tired he was of suffering and sorrow on this earth, so now let him rest in peace and sleep eternal sleep. Protect him from the fire of hell, do not allow him to fall to the demons and to the devil to be torn to pieces. In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
It is advisable that on this day relatives visit the temple and hold a prayer service for the repose. But if this is not possible, then they turn to God at home, and also light candles in memory of the deceased.
During nine days, relatives should focus on the bright qualities of the person who has left the world. You need to sincerely ask him for forgiveness and forgive him. It is necessary to remember the deceased only from the good side.
It is advisable to light a candle or lamp in the house and at the grave. It is better to install it in front of a photograph framed with black mourning ribbon. You can place a glass of water and bread in front of the portrait.
On the 9th day after death, it is allowed to remove the covers from the mirrors. Only the mirror in the bedroom of the deceased should be left covered.
How is the 9th day after death counted?
The first is the day the person passed away. It doesn’t matter exactly when it happened: in the morning, in the evening or at night. The calendar day lasts from 0 o'clock to 23:59. On this day next year the anniversary of the death is celebrated.
If a person left this world on February 1, then the ninth day will be February 9. The mathematical difference is not 9, but 8 days (9 - 1 = 8). That is, when calculating, you need to add the number 8. Let's say the day of death was March 17, then nineties will be March 25.
The date of the funeral does not affect the calculation in any way. A person was buried on the third or fifth day; the funeral ninth day is not postponed. It is counted solely by the date when the soul left the physical body.
There is one special case when memorial rites associated with destinies are postponed. We are talking about the period of Lent. The Church recommends not holding funerals in weekdays, and move them to the next Saturday. A priest from an existing church can tell you more precisely about holding funeral services during Lent.
Does the type of clothing matter?
Mourning traditions require clothing requirements. The classic color is black. This is not necessary, but clothing must be formal. Bright, frivolous outfits are inappropriate here.
Men must remove their hats when they enter the room where the funeral ritual is taking place.
In this video the priest talks in detail about Orthodox traditions associated with death.
Conclusion
Any person on Earth sooner or later loses family and friends. And everyone wants the soul of the deceased to fall into better world. Of course, we are not given the opportunity to decide someone’s fate in the afterlife. This is God's prerogative. However Higher powers take into account our behavior within 40 days from the moment of death. Therefore, it is important to know funeral and memorial traditions so as not to harm the soul loved one, who passed away.
A little about the author:
Evgeniy Tukubaev The right words and your faith are the key to success in the perfect ritual. I will provide you with information, but its implementation directly depends on you. But don’t worry, a little practice and you will succeed!After the funeral restless soul located between heaven and earth; Many relatives and close people of the deceased ask the main question of what happens to the soul on the 9th and 40th days of death. This is an important period for the deceased person, since it is decided where he will go next, where he will spend the rest of eternity in oblivion. The Holy Scripture says that 9 and 40 days after death are the beginning and end of the heavenly path; loved ones must help so that the soul goes to heaven and finds eternal peace.
Where does the soul reside after death?
According to believers, the souls of the deceased are immortal, and their afterlife fate is determined by the deeds done on earth during life - good or bad. In Orthodoxy, it is believed that the soul of the deceased does not immediately ascend to heaven, but at first remains in the places where the body previously lived. She will have to appear before God's Court, but in the meantime there is time to see her family and friends, say goodbye to them forever, and come to terms with the idea of her own death.
Where is the soul of the deceased until 9 days
The body is buried in a cemetery, but the soul of the deceased person is immortal. The Christian Church has established that the first day after death the soul is in confusion, cannot understand what is happening, and is afraid of separation from the body. On the second day, she wanders around her native place, remembers the best moments of her life, and observes the process of burying her own body. There are many places where the soul is after death, but all of them were once dear, close to the heart.
On the third day, she is ascended by angels to heaven, where the gates of paradise open. The soul is shown paradise, the opportunity to find eternal peace, a state of complete peace. On the fourth day, she is lowered underground and shown hell, where all the sins of the deceased and the payment for committing them during life are well known. The soul sees what is happening, waits doomsday, which begins on the ninth and ends on the fortieth day.
What happens to the soul on day 9
The question of why 9 days are celebrated after death has a well-reasoned answer. On this day, counted from the moment of death, the soul stands before God's court, where only the Almighty will decide where it will continue to spend eternity - in heaven or hell. Therefore, relatives and close people go to the cemetery, commemorate the deceased, and pray for his entry into heaven.
How to remember correctly
Knowing what happens on the 9th day after death, relatives must remember the deceased, and remember only the best and brightest things about his life and deeds. Church commemorations would not be out of place, for example, you can order a magpie for the repose, a memorial service or other Christian rites in the church. This is only beneficial, plus the sincere faith of Orthodox Christians. God forgives the torment of sinners, and relatives and friends should not be too sad for the deceased. To remember correctly, you need:
- speak only good things about the deceased;
- set a modest table, exclude alcohol;
- remember only the good;
- do not laugh, do not have fun, do not rejoice;
- behave modestly, restrained.
What happens to the soul after 9 days
After the 9th day, the soul goes to hell, can clearly see all the torments of sinners, and sincerely repent. She must remember all her wrong actions, apologize, admit the wrongness of her own actions and thoughts. This is a difficult stage, so all relatives should only support the deceased in prayers, church rituals, thoughts, and memories. To reliably determine what happens to the deceased soul on the 9th and 40th days of death, it is necessary to resort to sacred scripture.
Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days
Many people do not understand why they commemorate on 9 and 40 days. The answer is simple - this is the beginning and end of God's path, which the soul completes before receiving its place - in hell or heaven. It turns out that until the 40th day from the moment of death of the deceased, she is between heaven and earth, experiencing all the pain and melancholy of her family and loved ones. Therefore, you should not grieve too much, otherwise it will be even more difficult for the deceased person to find eternal peace.
Why are 40 days celebrated after death?
This is a memorial day - farewell to a restless soul. On this day she acquires her place in eternity, finds peace, and experiences humility. The soul, up to 40 days after death, is fragile and vulnerable, susceptible to other people’s thoughts, insults, and slander. She is torn from the inside by pain, but by the 40th day a deep calm comes - an awareness of her place in eternity. Then nothing happens, only oblivion, pleasant memories of the life lived.
How to remember correctly
Knowing what happens to the soul on the 9th and 40th days of death, loved ones should treat it with compassion and ease its torment. To do this, you shouldn’t feel too strongly about the deceased, throw yourself on the deceased’s chest and jump into the grave at the funeral. Such actions will only make the soul worse, and it will experience acute mental anguish. It is better to grieve in thoughts, pray more and wish her “A land that will rest in peace.” All that is required from relatives is bright thoughts and complete humility that God ordered it this way, nothing can be changed.
It is necessary to correctly remember the deceased on the 9th, 40th day, every year on the day of his sudden death. This is an unpleasant event for the whole family, which must follow all the rules. So:
- Days of commemoration are counted from the moment of death of a person (until midnight). 9 and 40 days of death - the beginning and end of God's path, when the determination takes place future fate deceased.
- Relatives should remember the deceased, and the presence of consecrated kutya on a modest table is desirable. You need to eat at least a spoonful of it.
- It is not recommended to remember with alcohol (not allowed by God), and the table should be modest, the feast should be more silent, thoughtful.
- It is forbidden to remember the bad qualities of the deceased, swear and use foul language if not good words, it’s better to remain silent about everything that happens.
Where is the soul after 40 days?
After the specified period, the soul of a person who died 40 days ago finds peace and is forever removed to heaven for eternity. It is possible that she will go to hell to suffer eternal torment for her actions. In any case, everything that happens to her next is unknown to a living person, and all that remains is to believe in the best, hope for the will of God, the highest mercy.
Video
In Orthodoxy, the third, ninth, fortieth day after death, as well as the anniversary, are considered sacred days. Each of these days is given special meaning, and in order to facilitate the afterlife of a person, it is customary to hold a wake on these dates.
To correctly calculate the day of the funeral, you need to take the day of death as the first day and add the required number to it. You should not do arithmetic addition, because simply adding will result in an incorrect number. For example: someone who died on January 1 should be commemorated not on January 10 (1+9), but on January 9.
Some may confuse the traditional and church days, which begin after the evening service, and then those who died in the morning and late evening of the same day may appear to have died in different days. The generally accepted tradition is to rely on the astronomical day, when it does not matter whether death occurred during the day or before midnight.
If you yourself find it difficult to accurately calculate the dates on which the commemoration falls, you will definitely come to the rescue. For churchgoers, it would be natural to address this question to their priest.
When are funerals held?
On the day of the funeral, and in Orthodoxy it must coincide with the third day after death, the first wake is held, and they are also considered the most massive. A memorial meal should not be confused with simple friendly or family gatherings, although the composition of the participants will be approximately the same. Funeral participants, those who knew the deceased closely, after the burial are invited to participate in the funeral feast.
Many centuries ago, it was customary to gather at the table not relatives, but beggars, because they themselves could not take care of their daily bread. The Church teaches that commemoration should be carried out among religious people; it is from common prayer that there will be benefit for the soul of the deceased.
The third day from the moment of death is considered the last when the soul of the deceased is in his home, next to his family. It is believed that after this her wanderings begin, first through heaven, until the ninth day, and until the fortieth day through hell.
During life, a person can perform righteous deeds and, of course, sin. But he will no longer be able to atone for his sins after death; only his loved ones can help him in this world. For this, it is useful to read prayers to show the right path for the soul of the deceased, which at first is in confusion without a body. It is customary to distribute the things of the deceased to those in need, give alms, and also organize memorial dinners.
The third day's wake is usually held in a cafe or restaurant, but its design should be as laconic as possible. There should be no flashy colors in the decoration of the room, fancy table settings or overly refined dishes. Recommended for the feast are traditional Russian dishes that are easy to prepare: cabbage soup, noodles, pies and jelly. Mandatory funeral dishes are pancakes with honey and kutia (sweet porridge), which have auspicious symbolism. It is not customary to stay late during a funeral dinner, as well as to drink alcohol or sing songs, except those appropriate for the occasion.
What to say at a wake
One person takes on the responsibilities of the manager; he must give everyone who comes the opportunity to speak. It is customary to stand up, address those present, and briefly state who you were with the deceased. Then briefly, in a few words, outline its strongest influence on you, illustrating with a vivid example.
It is worth being correct in assessing the character or actions of the deceased; you need to talk about him only in a positive way. Not counted positive features the stinginess or naivety of the deceased can be diplomatically called financial literacy and an open heart. After speaking about what we should learn from the deceased, we should say that he will always live in our hearts. If funeral speech will be interrupted by tears, the manager must quickly stop them with words of consolation.
It is customary to pray at the beginning of a meal and when changing dishes. In general, from a church point of view, the best remembrance is considered to be turning to God. Immediately after death, you should read the Sequence, the Psalter at home, and order memorial services in the church. On the third day, the funeral service takes place, and then it is customary to order Sorokoust, so that every day prayers are read for the soul of the deceased.
On the ninth day, it is customary to bake funeral pies and go to church and the cemetery with relatives. It is recommended to light a candle for repose, pray and give alms. It is believed that on this day the soul ends its journey in heaven and descends to Hell.
Days of commemoration
On the fortieth day, relatives, friends, colleagues, and neighbors of the deceased gather at the funeral table. On this day they also go to church. It is believed that on the fortieth day the fate of the deceased is determined, and his soul is sent either to Heaven or to Hell to await the Last Judgment.
Every person who has experienced the loss of a close relative or friend tries to arrange a memorial service according to all the rules and canons of the Orthodox Church.
It is generally accepted that for up to a year the soul of the deceased explores heaven and hell, and during this time a place is selected for it according to the life lived and according to how the living mourn and remember it. Therefore, the 9-day commemoration, the rules of which every Orthodox Christian should know, has special significance.
The meaning of the date in Orthodoxy
In Orthodoxy, it is customary to celebrate the third, ninth, fortieth days and anniversary after the death of a person. But some peoples hold funeral dinners for six months. Each of these days has its own special, sacred meaning, which every Orthodox person should know.
On the ninth day after death, the soul just ends its earthly journey. She's looking for a way in new life. And if the third day is considered to be the beginning of the afterlife, and the fortieth day its end, then the ninth is the most important time in the posthumous journey of the soul.
The number 9 is considered sacred in Orthodoxy. This is exactly the number of angelic ranks that exist in the hierarchy. Therefore, memorial prayers on this day are read not only for the soul of the deceased, but also so that these angels protect it at God's judgment.
Until the third day after death, the soul of the deceased is accompanied by his guardian angel b. After this, he goes to explore the heavens. Even without knowing where it will go, a person’s soul can explore Heaven and Hell and find out what awaits him next.
On the 9th day after death, the Lord orders the angels to bring the soul of the deceased to themselves. It is on this day that she will appear before the face of the Lord and learn that she will have to go to explore Hell. And by the fortieth day the Heavenly Court will await her.
It is on this day that the soul of the deceased must undergo tests together with a guardian angel. If she manages to emerge from them clean and blameless, then the scales of justice will tip towards good.
Importance to the deceased
For the soul of the deceased, the ninth day after death is extremely important. After all, at this time he is preparing to find his permanent refuge. Therefore, it is extremely important for relatives to try to let go of the soul of the deceased and remember him with prayers, and not with tears and lamentations. Of course, it is impossible to completely forget the deceased and the pain that followed his departure. But you should try to calm your soul and let go of your loved one.
Prayers for the repose of the soul are also read because on this day it appears before the Lord for the first time. And the commemoration helps the soul cope with the fear of the Almighty and move on without regret or fear.
On this day, it is customary to pray that the soul of the deceased be numbered among the angels. So, a deceased relative can become a guardian angel of a person who prays for him. It was not for nothing that the pagans also believed that the spirits of the departed are always nearby and help the living.
Memorial Day Traditions
According to the traditions of Orthodoxy, it is necessary to prepare a funeral dinner, which is taken to the cemetery. Also, close relatives go to church and light candles for the repose of the soul of the deceased and order a memorial and prayer reading. Traditional dishes are:
- Kutya;
- jelly;
- pancakes and pies.
Kutya is prepared from wheat with sugar or honey. But modern people More often it is made from rice. Each grain represents the birth of new life. It represents a renaissance human soul in the afterlife or after incarnation. Sugar, honey or jam, which are added to kutya, are a symbol of the sweetness of the afterlife. The prepared dish must be sprinkled with holy water or consecrated in church.
Compote and jelly should also be on the funeral table. Pancakes are often brought to the cemetery to commemorate the deceased. Fish dishes It is also recommended to place it on the table at which the relatives and friends of the deceased will sit.
Knowing how the deceased is remembered for 9 days, setting the table will not be difficult. Very often, ordinary borscht is served as the first course. It is the most popular dish.
A church minister can tell you how they are commemorated on the 9th day after death. But we should remember that this day is uninvited. That is, guests are not invited to the wake of the soul. Anyone who knew the deceased or attended the funeral is welcome to come.
The main prayer for 9 days after death, which is read first at the table, is “Our Father.” You can read it out loud or silently, thinking about the deceased person. Only after this is it allowed to serve the first funeral dish - kutya. It is strictly prohibited to place alcohol on the table. Drinking alcohol is a sin that will not bring peace to the deceased. Therefore, it is forbidden to take them to the cemetery or drink them at the table during the funeral.
You shouldn't cook too many dishes. After all, gluttony is also a great sin. What is important here is not the eating of food, but the fact that close people have gathered at one table to commemorate the soul of the deceased. And if there are food or dishes left after the feast, you should not throw them away. We need to distribute food to the poor or simply needy people.
It is strictly forbidden to have fun, laugh or sing songs at the table. Also, one should not remember the deceased with bad words and remember all his misdeeds in life. You need to do the following:
- remember all the best about him;
- say only nice things about the deceased.
After all, until the fortieth day, a decision will be made about where the soul of the deceased will go, and what the living remember about him will be taken into account.
At the funeral table, women are supposed to have their heads covered and their hair tied up. Today, only close relatives wear headscarves. And men need to take off their hats when entering the house.
Rules for relatives
Knowing what the relatives of the deceased do for 9 days after death, you can avoid many mistakes. So, it is imperative that relatives go to church and not only light candles for the repose, but also order a prayer service. You should also pray in front of the icon for the mercy of God and the help of Heavenly Protectors. You are also allowed to pray near a home icon, but a prayer service must be ordered.
At lunchtime you should visit the grave of the deceased. You need to clean it up, remove the trash and bring flowers and wreaths. You must light a candle in a lamp near a cross or monument. You should not talk about extraneous topics near the grave; it is better to talk about the deceased or read a prayer.
Funerals should not be held in a cemetery.. Under no circumstances should you drink alcoholic beverages, much less place vodka in a glass near the grave. This will not bring anything good to the soul of the deceased. It is allowed to leave a lunch of sweets, pancakes and kutya. In most cases, those foods and dishes that are placed on the table during the funeral are brought to the grave.
It is imperative to give alms to the poor and needy so that they can remember the deceased. For this, either food left over from the funeral or money is used..
In the house where the funeral is being held, you should light a lamp or candle near the photograph of the deceased. Mirror curtains may be removed immediately after the funeral. They remain only in the room of the deceased.