You want a man in your life who will not call you crazy for those things that are so incomprehensible to him, but have such a strong effect on you. He should be someone who can calm you down when you get home from work. Before he asks you what happened, he will patiently reassure you to make you feel good. And when you share the reason for your disappointment, he will make you wipe your tears and hug you tightly so that you can forget all the pain and disappointment. Yes, he will do this because he wants to make you happy, even if the reason for what happened is unclear to him.
You want someone in your life who will never call you stupid. He shouldn't find it weird when you yell at your phone or computer. He will not allow you to solve your problems on your own and will remain at a safe distance while you desperately fight. His comforting presence does not force you to ask for help.
You will never feel alone. He will prove this with every moment spent together. You know you can count on him.
You need someone who will never accuse you of being overly emotional. A person who will understand your mood at one time or another. He loves you because you bring honesty and clarity to this relationship, and he knows you're only doing it because you're comfortable around him. He won't blame you when you become overly sensitive. Such a person will truly love you, even in the worst situation.
You need someone who will work to create a strong relationship. He is the one who wants to be with you and for this he will try to solve all the problems and difficulties that arise. He will try to answer all your questions and make you understand that not all of your feelings are true. He wants long and serious relationship with you.
You need someone who understands your biggest problems. He never makes fun of you when you suffer from depression or unnecessary anxiety. He will never tell you that you are a psychopath or crazy. He will understand that at times you have little control over your emotions. He knows at what moments anxiety takes over you, as a result of which you behave quite strangely.
You want someone who is able to freely reveal their own emotions to you. He will be upset without any embarrassment at the loss loved one. He will not hide his emotions when he is worried about the plot of the romantic comedy that you are watching together. He is a man who does not consider himself less of a man when he shares his deepest emotions. This person wants you to know everything about him, including his flaws.
Look for a person who will love you unconditionally. He will love you for who you are. Your upset appearance does not push him away, but makes him want to wipe away his tears. For him, this is the meaning of his whole life, and he will do it only because he loves you.
Love is the most amazing and unknown of feelings. It is the most powerful thing possible, it is driving force our world and the basis of intelligent life. What is real man's love?
Men and women love differently. Male love is physics woman's love— chemistry. Much more often, both of them pass off something completely different as love: love and passion, dependence and jealousy, escape from loneliness or the need for security. Real love It is based on respect and acceptance of the partner for who he is, and usually love does not grow in a relationship on the first date.
How can you determine whether a man loves you or not? There are five main signs male love. If at least 3 of them are present, then you can rest assured that the man is quite seriously interested in you.
1. A man doesn’t limit his communication with you to just sex.
It would seem an obvious statement. Moreover, we specifically “jumped” over the stage of acquaintance and mutual seduction: we are talking about love, and not about what precedes it. And the fact is that a loving man wants to do something with a woman. Loving man- a creative, creative and active person. He creates FOR a woman, he wants to create TOGETHER with her. He sees in a woman not only a lovely lover (to whom he is attracted, this is not even discussed), but also a friend, and even a business partner. In the most extreme cases, relationships develop into family business, and usually a man will invite his beloved to participate in his plans, projects, goals and dreams. This is important to him.
2. A man cares about you because you believe in him.
That's how simple it works. A believing woman is a diamond for a man. He will take care of his jewel and admire it. He will show some elements of care at an early stage, hoping that in front of him is not just a muddy piece of quartz, but something much more beautiful. He is already ready to do a lot for you: give you funny, absurd gifts, carry you through puddles in his arms, tell you his plans to conquer the world. By this, he awakens a response of faith in his talent and masculinity... or does not awaken. In the second case, most likely, the matter will be limited only to sex. And the first option is a sign of male love, which lies in its strength and protection.
3. A man trusts you immensely
He is ready to open the doors for you to the secret and dark rooms of his soul. And he doesn’t do this on the first date (looking for a vest for tears or a substitute mother - a solver of his children’s problems). With deep trust, a man says: “Look at me from the shadow side, I am not always good, I am bad too. Accept me like this, my love.”
Trust should be supported by respect for your “skeletons in the closet”, as well as the absence of unhealthy jealousy towards both your past and present. Then sign of male love number 3 is absolute.
4. A man takes responsibility for his relationship with you.
He introduces you to friends and relatives, declares that you are his woman not only in real life, but also on the Internet. You become an “official couple” and are faced with the opinions of others about this fact. Some of his or your friends won’t like it - they will be offended, jealous, criticize, and give stupid advice. All this will fall on the man too. The essence of responsibility is to go through such socialization and systematically move towards your common goals. True love withstands even less difficulties. And if a man is ready to cope, for example, with conflicting parents for the sake of a relationship with you, then this is obviously a sign of his love.
5. A man is not bored with you
And without you it’s the other way around. This, of course, does not mean that you need to spend together 24 hours a day (this is typical for those in love, but not yet in love). Sometimes it’s worth being separated; it’s imperative to have personal territory and the opportunity to spend leisure time without your significant other. And in such separations, you will miss each other in a much more correct way than when you are not sure of your partner’s love. Personal freedom is a space for love to grow, and any fetters only hinder it.
When your man is next to you, he is happy, happy and happy. You have something to talk about, something to discuss and something to remain politely silent about. You are ready to experiment together, you are not afraid to be funny and imperfect for each other. And this means that you have love! The most real thing!
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True love, no matter for a man, woman, children, parents or friend, is devoid of selfishness. And this does not at all mean that you should sacrifice something for the sake of someone, forgetting about yourself and putting the interests of the object of your love above all else. Without loving yourself, you will never be able to truly love someone. True love, devoid of selfishness, does not speak of self-sacrifice, but of the LACK OF CLAIM FOR RIGHT OWNERSHIP.
What does it mean? This means that when you love flowers, you don’t pick them up to put them in your home and watch how slowly but surely the life leaves them; loving animals, you will not buy meat at the store and put it in the oven in anticipation of a delicious dinner; loving nature, you will not light fires in it, breaking the branches of trees in which life has been growing for years.
Many people often say the word “love” without even realizing what meaning is attached to these words.
People often confuse love with the desire to possess. And this differs from love as black from white, as the sky from the earth, as the moon from the sun.
True love, this is not something that just comes on its own, suddenly falling on our heads, like melting ice from glaciers. Love is something that needs to be learned. It is not enough to experience certain feelings. It’s not enough to just feel your heart beating fast and wings growing behind your back.
Learn to love. Learn to love without desire for the right to possess. Imagine snow-capped mountain peaks in all their majestic beauty. You enjoy watching them. You like to breathe in the fresh mountain air. You enjoy the natural, virgin splendor that they give you. You love mountains and contemplate them without desire for the right to possess them. You don't want to become the king of these mountains, do you? You are not obsessed with the idea that these mountains should be only yours and that no living creature besides you will be able to admire them in the same way? You don’t even think about whether the mountains themselves love you. If so, then this is TRUE LOVE. Bring this into your life! Transfer this attitude to your husband, wife or children. Try to love for real. Remove selfishness from your life! Try to love without the desire to dominate. Then you will have nothing to lose, then you will have nothing to fear, then you will have peace, you will be free.
Selfishness and love are incompatible, just as light cannot be combined with darkness. Selfishness displaces love. He makes it impossible. “I will love you if you love me”, “I love you because you are good”, “I love you because I feel good with you” - there are no such oppositions in love. Love is total, true love has no limits.
Have you noticed how we try to change people? Husband, wife, children, friends. We impose our opinion, we consider ourselves right, we consider ourselves smarter, wiser, more experienced, we impose our worldview. This is wrong, even with the best intentions. You can't force change. This is impossible without human desire.
A person who knows how to love will never be left alone. A person who knows how to love will support life. As you fill the world with true, genuine love, you will receive it in return.
Love makes you create and enjoy every day. She is always welcome, and her disappearance is heartbreaking. She is strong and elusive. You can't force yourself to love, no matter how much you want to. Her appearance is unpredictable and inexplicable. And although so much has been written about it, and so many people have experienced this wonderful feeling, still few of us understand what love is. Maybe that's why she's so desirable and demanding careful attitude, because it still remains a secret behind seven locks.
Signs of true love
If you look at the divorce statistics, it immediately becomes clear that the majority of the fair sex do not even know what love is. Many have the opinion that this is passion and constant courtship on the part of a man. When the period of falling in love passes, and passion begins to fade, and the partner stops constantly complimenting and giving flowers and gifts, disappointment sets in. Romance is replaced by everyday life when two lovers begin to live together.
You have to look after and take care so that the house is always cozy and clean. Money problems arise, since new goals and objectives require investments, especially if you don’t have your own home, and you really want to have a child. A man becomes more demanding and irritable or completely stops paying attention, getting tired at work. It is during this period that passion is replaced by love, which allows you to survive any difficulties. If it was not there, soon life together becomes unbearable, and the couple breaks up.
Only when two people really love each other are they ready for any difficulties, realizing that if they do not fight them together, their feelings will fade away, and everything that connected them will disappear, and they will only be left with emptiness and pain. After all, love is the desire to help, support, and do something nice. There is no place for envy, mistrust or jealousy. She calms and forgives, cares and warms when the whole world is against you. There are no difficulties that loving person won't help you survive. When they love, they do not think about themselves, any words and actions are spoken and performed in such a way as not to offend or harm the loved one.
True love is always mutual, everything else is just an appearance. Falling in love is a fleeting passion. Crazy relationships are attraction and nothing more. A relationship with a person who does not value you is a pity for him or a desire to prove to someone that everything is fine with you too, and you are no worse, but all this has nothing to do with love. It’s not for nothing that it is written “Love others as yourself.” Love is the ability to treat another as yourself, to care, help and feel their pain as if it were your own.
No matter what happens, a woman who loves is always there. She will support you in word and deed, give hope that everything will be fine, sacrifice herself and stand shoulder to shoulder. She is not afraid of any problems if her only one is in a difficult situation. She will find the strength to tear him out or leave him alone if he does not want to deal with his problems, forgetting about his love for her.
A representative of the fair sex who knows how to love herself will not allow herself to waste money and look for relationships in which there is no respect and love for each other. She is not going to prove anything to anyone, knowing full well that love is a gift. And if you live for others, then you will never meet your one and only, trying to prove to others how successfully and on time you got married. Therefore, a woman who respects and loves herself has the mental strength to wait for fate to give her a meeting with her beloved man, and not agree to a relationship with the first one who suggested dating.
Those who are unable to love are doomed to live a life of pain, suffering, disappointment and difficulty. Only love for oneself, for those who are dear to us, for the world in which we live, can give a chance to survive any difficulties that life presents. Anyone who respects and loves himself finds the strength to learn from bitter lessons and correct mistakes, realizing that he is not worthy of problems. The one who has given up on himself, agreeing with his own low self-esteem and the fact that he is not worthy of being happy, cannot fight problems, sinking lower and lower. He is deeply convinced that he is worthy of the life that he has and he should not count on more. Until such people learn to love themselves, their lives will continue to be filled with troubles and disappointments.
How to recognize love: signs of true love
- Love does not exist without mutual respect. She does not accept neglect, arrogance and pride. You cannot talk about love if one of the partners allows himself to be loved, and the other completely dissolves in him. Real feelings require a person to give more than to receive. He does not ask for anything in return and does not try to please the chosen one in everything. Understanding that disrespect for yourself is disrespect for your partner. After all, everyone wants to see a strong person nearby.
- Those who prefer to constantly insult a woman, point out her shortcomings, criticize and be offended by everything she does are not capable of love. For them, a representative of the fair sex is only an object to satisfy their desires and an opportunity, due to her humiliation, to feel higher and more successful. In such relationships, not only the partner is to blame. The woman herself allowed herself to be treated this way, not putting him in his place in time and not finding the strength within herself to part with him.
- The choice of such men is associated with deep internal problems that were not resolved in time. Representatives of the fair sex may unwittingly repeat the fate of their parents, who were unhappy in their marriage and forgot to instill self-respect in her, focusing only on sorting things out. It becomes normal for her to feel like a victim in a relationship, as long as there is a partner nearby, even if he does not love or respect her. She continues to endure all his unseemly actions in order not to be left alone. But this is not love, but an attempt to avoid difficult work on oneself, which will force one to change and start a full life with another man.
- You can't love someone else more than yourself. You can't be a victim. You are worthy of love and care, first of all from yourself. Only by learning to value yourself, respect for what you do, and work on what you don’t like in your character, can you understand what love really is. By hurting you, a man thereby demonstrates his true feelings. He does not experience love, he enjoys his own superiority and power. When a person loves, he wants his beloved to be on a pedestal, and he can admire her.
- You can recognize a real feeling by a person’s deeds, not by his beautiful words . At the same time, you yourself will not demand worship from him and all the riches of the world at your feet. After all, when you love yourself, you will not demand the impossible from yourself. This means that when you experience real feelings, you will want to give more than you receive, but you will not allow yourself to be used.
- Run away from those who are trying to instill in you a feeling of inferiority and lower your self-esteem to nowhere. A person can never be happy if he gives up self-love. He will forever remain dependent on others, and when their interest or love fades away, the world around him will turn into continuous suffering.
- Love comes in different forms. But she will never require a person to sacrifice his interests. It brings joy, makes you look at the world with gratitude and joy, and not with hatred. Relieves pain and suffering, heals the soul and gives faith. If the feeling you are experiencing does not make you or your partner feel the same way, it is not love.
Trying to understand for yourself what love is gives you a chance to keep this feeling alive. for many years, if you are already happy in your personal life, or meet your prince on a white horse, if this has not happened yet. The ability to love is vital when a representative of the fair sex does not want to feel the pain that love has disappeared from her life. After all, this is not only passion, but also care, affection, attention, empathy and compassion. Love is multifaceted and unpredictable, it does not require actions dictated by crazy passion, but wants a person to become better than he was, showing all his best. best qualities, which he has and which will appear if he does not want love to leave him forever.
We are constantly haunted by the idea that Love- that's the only thing that matters. In his article in the magazine " Family life"Paul Popenoe describes what most people think about romantic love: "Love is an incomprehensible obsession that comes out of nowhere and immediately completely takes over you, like measles. You will recognize it intuitively. If it is a real feeling, you will not have to wonder for long. You will see it, without a doubt. Love is so important that you must to give up everything for her. It is forgivable for a man to leave his wife for the sake of love, for a woman to leave her house and children, for a king to leave his throne. She comes completely unexpectedly, and you cannot do anything. She is not subject to man.” But this is NOT true love! Real love is not like that.
Infatuation really comes out of the blue and you can't do anything about it. But true love is devoted and selfless love. This is what she is holding on to. You might be wondering why you need to know the difference between infatuation and love? The reason is this: knowing the differences will prevent you from making a huge mistake. Every year, millions of couples with shining eyes come to church and solemnly vow love Friend of each other for the rest of our lives. For some of them marriage truly becomes an invaluable acquisition. For others, he is simply tolerable. But for half of these couples, marriage becomes a real disaster. After a short period of time, they begin to realize that they cannot stand it at all. life together. What's the matter? The difference is that some couples base their marriage on true love, while others base their marriage on infatuation, which is false love. Such marriages do not last long. How can you tell the difference? During the Gold Rush, many prospectors thought they had "struck a vein." But later, to their great disappointment, they found out that their find was not real gold, but the worthless mineral pyrite. Pyrite is very similar in appearance to gold, but has no value. It is also called "fool's gold".
Like we said, it is NOT easy to tell the difference between infatuation and true love. In his book "Sex, love or infatuation - how to determine it?" Dr. Ray Short gives some key tips to help a person explore their feeling and determine if it is real gold. love or "fool's gold" - a simple hobby.
We'll look at 12 of these keys, but first let us point out the following: (1) The order of the keys does not matter. Each of them has the same meaning as the others. (2) These keys should not be selectively accepted. You have to take all 12 into account!
Key #1 What attracts you most?
Infatuation: When you are infatuated, you are more likely to become more interested in the other person's physical attributes. beautiful face and a good figure are, of course, very attractive qualities, but appearances can be deceiving. It is like the wrapping paper in which a gift is wrapped. It cannot be used to judge what exactly is inside. Moreover, physical beauty not eternal. Dr. Short says: "Of the dozen school meetings I attended as a young man, I remember only one. 'Young people!' - the speaker said solemnly. - Before marry on a girl because of her pretty face and attractive curves, think about what she will look like at 30, "And that stopped me" ?
True Love: If your love is genuine, you will be interested in the overall personality of your chosen one. Surely, physical attraction will also be present in your feelings, but only along with many other qualities that are attractive to you.
Key No. 2 How many different qualities attract you to this person?
Passion: Usually the number of such qualities is small, but they can have a very strong impact on you. A guy can go crazy with his girlfriend's smiles or sexy walk.
True Love: When you truly love, you like all or most of the qualities in the other person. Each of us has many characteristic features, your judgments and attitudes How many characteristics do you notice in another, and how many of them do you find attractive? This is important because once the initial excitement of marriage wears off, you will need many common interests to keep the marriage going and make it successful.
Key No. 3 How did it start?
Infatuation: Infatuation occurs quickly. There is no such thing as true love at first sight, but there can be infatuation at first sight. As one love song says, “the eyes of the lovers met in the crowd, lightning flashed, and they immediately realized that they were made for each other.” In reality, they could only understand what they had done to each other. good first impression.
True Love: True love always comes slowly. It cannot be otherwise. You have to get to know a person before you can really love them, and that takes time, a lot of time, to really get to know someone. Long-term courtship is much better than short-term courtship. A year is better than six months, two years is better than one, three years is better than two, and four is better than three. Three years? Four? Yes, the statistics on this subject are absolutely clear. But most young couples do not want to wait even a year. They are in a hurry to get married and own experience They are convinced of the truth of the old saying: “If you hurry, you will make people laugh.” If you get married too hastily, you will have plenty of time later to regret it.
Key No. 4 How constant is your interest?
Passion: When you are passionate, your interest flares and fades. One reason for this is that infatuation occurs too quickly and therefore the roots are not deep. And in general yours relationship superficial.
True love: When you truly love, your feelings They will be warm and tender rather than fluctuating from ardent passion to cold indifference, they will be more constant. True love grows slowly, but its roots run deep.
Key No. 5 How does the feeling affect you?
Infatuation: Infatuation has a disorganizing effect on your personality. Makes you less responsible and efficient. Romantic feelings take over you completely, and you walk around, immersed in dreams. The girl who says, "I know he has flaws, but nothing matters except our love" is infatuated... TEMPORARILY! Once married, she will eventually discover that many other things still matter.
True Love: If your love is genuine, your best qualities come out and you strive to become even better. A guy who really loves says about his girlfriend: "I I love her not only because she is so beautiful, but also because she inspires me to show my best qualities."
Key No. 6 How do you treat others?
Infatuation: When you are infatuated, your entire “universe” revolves around one person. The rest of your relationships seem completely unimportant to you. You are even ready to reject family and friends. Your feeling becomes the most important thing in your life. It is the only thing that matters to you from now on. You think that for the sake of this amazing “love” that has entered your life, you can be forgiven for doing any actions. As we've said before, most hobbies don't last, but the mistakes you make while under the influence often have lifelong consequences.
True Love: When you truly love, your beloved person is the most important person in the world for you, but relationships with family and friends do not lose their importance.
Key No. 7 How do others view your relationship?
Infatuation: What others think of your “lover” is a very important test. When you're infatuated, it's likely that your parents and many of you friends will not approve of this relationship. One of the dangerous aspects of infatuation is that you tend to idolize the other person. You don't see flaws because you are "blinded by love." Yours Friends trying to point out some danger signs, but you ignore them. Your parents lovingly warn you, trying to prevent you from making a big mistake, but you don't listen. Young people sometimes say: “So what? We’re marrying each other, not our family and friends.” You can also adhere to this position, but it is unforgivable stupidity to neglect the advice of people who love you. Over the years of your life, both you and your loved one have developed a certain circle of friends. We all strive to be like those we choose as friends; they become like us. Therefore, your friends are, in a sense, your “mirror”. If you're passionate about someone, your friends often don't share the same feelings. If they see red flags, you should pay attention and listen to their opinion.
True Love: When you truly love, there is a greater chance that your parents and most of your friends will approve of your choice. For God to bless your marriage, the consent and approval of your parents is very important.
Key No. 8 How do breakups affect?
Passion: One of the best tests for feelings is the test of distance. If you are simply infatuated, then time and distance will kill your feeling, “This also explains the breakups of those couples whose main interest was physical attractiveness. Over time, another living person nearby will replace the beloved, who remains only in the photograph.
True love: When you truly love, the absence of your loved one only exacerbates your feeling. True love will definitely stand the test of distance and time. It is based not only on the physical attractiveness of a person, it accepts him entirely as a person. Time spent together helps you grow together. Therefore, during separation, you seem to lose your part. Another person, even a very attractive one, cannot fill the emptiness in your heart. Being at a distance, of course, you may experience anxiety and sadness. You will be worried about the thought: “What if he (or she) meets someone else?” And this can happen. But if your loved one is capable of finding happiness with someone else, then it is better to find out about this before, rather than after, marriage. Therefore, if you are facing separation, accept it and do not worry. If your feeling is only infatuation, and it will not withstand such a test, it is better to find out before it is too late.
Key No. 9 How do disagreements affect feelings?
Infatuation: When you are infatuated, you often fight. You can make peace, but over time, quarrels become more frequent and serious. You become like. two porcupines in the cold. When they are apart, they shake from the cold, but as soon as they press against each other, they prick each other with their needles. "Phil and Alice dated for more than two years. During this time, they quarreled and made up at least once a month. Discord arose over any trifle or imaginary offense. Both acted out terrible jealousy. And then Maria, best friend Alice tried to open their eyes. One day, Alice shared with her the details of the last quarrel and threatened: “Let him just try to get me back! I won’t even talk to him!” “I think you will, Alice,” Maria said to her gently, “but I hope that you will firmly tell him: “Goodbye, Phil, it’s all over.” And then she explained her position to her surprised friend: “You both awaken in each other the worst. You fight because you have nothing else to talk about. Strife, tears and romantic “reconciliations” only relieve you of boredom.
True Love: When you are truly in love, you may have disagreements, but true love survives them and quarrels become less frequent and serious. Every couple must learn how to resolve conflicts. It is much better to discuss differences openly and honestly than to let them fester in the back of your mind.
Key No. 10 How do you view your relationships?
Infatuation: When you are infatuated, you tend to think of yourself and your loved one as two people, and accordingly use pronouns in your thoughts and speech: “I”, “me”, “mine”, “he”, “his” ", or "she", "her". You think of you as two separate individuals. True love: When you really love, you usually use words: “we”, “our”, “us”. You think of you as one. This key may not seem so important when you're just dating, but it's of great importance in marriage. When a marriage is based on passion, husband and wife may find more pleasure in pursuing different interests than in joint activities. The husband may be eager and want to “go out with friends” more than spending time at home with his family. Or the wife will become more interested in her social connections than in her household responsibilities.
In families where true love exists, husband and wife enjoy doing things together. A common response here is: "I don't want to go if you can't go too."
Key No. 11 Are you selfish or selfless?
Infatuation: When you are infatuated, your interest in the other person is mostly selfish. A guy can date a beautiful and noticeable girl only because it flatters his pride and raises his prestige. She may be capricious and spoiled, but since she is the "queen" of the school, he becomes the "king" next to her. Exactly the same young woman can hold guy"on a leash" not because she is really interested in him, but because his devotion raises her value in the eyes of others. True love: When you truly love, you like a person for what he is, not because he can help you prove yourself.
Key No. 12 What is the basis of your feelings?
Passion: Is your goal to find someone who will fully devote his life to making you happy? Do you take care of yourself first? If yes, then you are just infatuated. Yours general position selfish - you care most about what you can get from this relationship.
True Love: Love is selfless and committed. You strive to do whatever it takes to bring joy to others. You are primarily interested in what you can give, not what you can receive.
Evaluate your feeling. Take a sheet of paper and carefully study the keys, starting with the first one. Give an assessment of your feelings for each of them. If you want, the keys can show not only whether your love is real, but also a certain degree of your feelings. In most cases, the clues show a mixture of infatuation and true love. Therefore, rate each key on a ten-point scale. Zero will mean infatuation, and 10 will mean love. For example, when looking at clue #1, you might decide, "To be completely honest, I was mainly interested in physical attractiveness, so I'll give myself two points." If, when examining key No. 7, you see that approximately half of your friends approve of your choice, and half do not, then give yourself five points. When you rate yourself on all twelve keys, add up your points. An overall score of 80 or higher shows that your senses are fairly reliable. For your part, you can believe that your love can become the basis for a successful marriage. But that's only on your part. The person you love must also take this test and score large number points. Love must be mutual. No matter how much you love this person, one-sided love will not help. He should experience the same feelings in return. If you score between 50 and 80 points, you will need more time to see how your relationship develops. If the points scored are less than 50, you are just carried away. So try to keep your heart. First of all, do not complicate your relationship with sexual intimacy and do not rush into marriage. Also note the following: A high score on this test does not necessarily mean that you are ready for marriage. First of all, you may still be too young for marriage, even if you have scored a lot of points. Secondly, even if you are the right age, you may simply not know each other well yet. As we have already said, you need to know each other well for at least two years before you think about marriage.