Not all women know how men experience a breakup with their beloved. Many people think that they do not experience experiences at all. And wild parties with friends are a kind of celebration of freedom from relationships. In fact, for a man, breaking up a relationship is no less painful a process than for a woman. Parting is hard for them, but they don’t show it.

Stages of separation

Guys, like girls, go through certain stages of separation. Some experience them easier, others more difficult. But it is impossible to say that young people do not experience worries. It’s just that a man’s emotional passage through all stages is a little different from a woman’s. In psychology, the following stages of separation are distinguished:

1. Negation. It is human nature to subconsciously deny something that happened too unexpectedly. Women at this stage suffer in the same way as they experience a breakup with a man’s mistress. Guys also try to get a girl back by going to places where their beloved may be, tracking her profile on social networks etc. The denial stage can last several months. All this time the guy is waiting for his girlfriend to come to her senses, call and come back.
2. Hatred. When a man comes to terms with a breakup, the stage of hatred for the one who caused so much pain begins. At this stage, he tries in every possible way to offend his ex-girlfriend, spread gossip about her, and characterize her negatively in front of his friends. Often this behavior is typical of a husband who has been abandoned by his wife. If the breakup with the husband was painful, then after the divorce the man often persecutes his ex-wife, not allowing her to live in peace.
3. Hope for the best. After accepting the breakup, the man moves either to the second stage or immediately to the third. If the guy still continues to have feelings for his ex-girlfriend, and new lover he doesn’t have it, then after a certain period he tries to win over his chosen one again. It would seem that the storm has passed, so you can start all over again.
4. Depression. It seems that only women can go through a breakup for a long time and become depressed, regretting each of their lovers. However, apathy is also characteristic of men. When the realization arises that his beloved will not return, the guy becomes indifferent to everything around him. He, too, can lie on the couch all day long, eat away stress with food and drink alcohol.
5. New life. It may take a few years to come to the realization that life does not end with the passing of your loved ones. Some manage to forget about breaks after 2-3 months. How a man experiences a breakup depends on his character. But gradually the grievances are forgotten, the depression goes away, the man begins to be interested in new acquaintances. It happens that a guy takes a lover to forget about his former passion, and the new relationship quickly develops into true love.

How men cope with breakups

The degree of a man’s grief, of course, depends on the depth of his feelings towards his other half. If the connection was short-lived and fragile, then the guys take the breakup easily. But a man who breaks up with a loved one certainly suffers.

Women, looking at the stronger sex, doubt whether men experience a breakup at all. Psychologists say that it is even harder for a man than for a woman. It’s just that the girl doesn’t hide her emotions, she tells everyone how she experienced a breakup with her lover, how she suffered, etc. And male character does not allow a guy to show his weaknesses and worries when breaking up with a girl.

Guys are stingy with emotions, they keep everything to themselves. However, this state cannot last long. If a woman finds a way out for her emotions in tears and hysterics, then a man goes to great lengths. When a young man experiences mental pain, he prefers to drown it out with alcohol. To escape from boredom, he begins to engage in extreme sports or immerses himself in a hobby. And promiscuous sexual relations with mistresses help not so much to survive an ended relationship, but to assert oneself.

This is important for guys, because after the girl they love leaves, they subconsciously think that something is wrong with them. And if the ex directly says that she is dissatisfied with the guy, then this is a huge stress for him. So that they don’t worry about this and prove to themselves their “competitiveness,” guys find temporary girlfriends. Husbands have the hardest time in such situations. Having gained freedom, they follow the same path as the young guys.

Men who have gone through a painful breakup are dangerous to get involved with. Sometimes they do even more stupid things than women. Experience a breakup and you will understand how sometimes you want to take revenge on the person for whom you are going through so much pain. Likewise, men, worried and suffering, are ready to take revenge at any cost and prove to their former passions that they are okay. An offended guy may well start a relationship out of spite ex-girlfriend and even marry new darling. And all this to prove that he is doing great.

The topic of relationships between men and women will never lose its relevance. Relationships are not just about butterflies in the stomach and eternal spring. Some, at first glance, have the most perfect couples the final point is coming. A Kazanskie Vedomosti correspondent tried to find out how men are coping with the breakup.

Everyone has their own grief

Although it is generally accepted that a woman’s soul is in darkness, when a relationship breaks up, representatives of the fair half of humanity behave very predictably: tears, emotional conversations with friends, watching the most tearful films, then, in a fit of rage, getting rid of things that remind them of ex-lover. But with all this, women are in endless expectations that a man will take the first step towards reconciliation, or at least make himself known.

According to the majority of representatives of the fairer sex, the picture of a man’s emotional experiences during a separation is radically different: he grieves for a couple of days, then forgets about his previous relationship and already pleases another woman with his presence.

But is this really so? Frankly, most men, when telling us about their feelings during a breakup, laughed it off or avoided the topic. But even from such answers we managed to find out something.

Feelings gone

For example, 26-year-old Artem said that his girlfriend decided to break up after three years of relationship:

For me it was a bolt from the blue. Everything was perfect - spending time together, going to the seaside, meeting my parents, we even started living a common life. She wanted to break up, arguing that her feelings had disappeared. For the first two months I couldn’t find a place for myself - I couldn’t study or work, I just lay at home and looked at the ceiling. I realized that I couldn’t live without her, I started looking everywhere to meet her, I found any excuse to see her, but I received refusals. Ultimately, six months later we met and talked. I saw that she was happy without me, and then I decided to leave her alone. It’s already been a year since we’ve been together, but I must admit, I still suffer without her.

Ideal woman

About my emotional drama said 34-year-old Insaf. They are with ex-wife often quarreled, mainly the cause of quarrels was everyday problems- overcooked cutlets, an improperly ironed shirt, an unemptied trash can, but there were a lot of positive moments in their relationship.

I appreciated her for her iron patience and understanding; she could always make concessions to me. I remember coming home drunk after meeting with classmates and falling asleep on the threshold of the apartment. My wife silently helped me to the bed, undressed me and put me to bed. And the next morning, without any screams or reproaches, she brought me water and a headache pill. Ideal woman! - recalls Insaf. “But one day, when I came home from work, I didn’t find her things in the apartment. That's how she left in English.

According to Insaf, he suffered for three whole years, did not find a place for himself, everything in the shared apartment reminded him of ex-wife. The mental anguish subsided after changing housing.

We met at the registry office during the divorce, she was beautiful and extraordinary, as always. It turned out that the reason for the separation was my indifferent attitude towards her. If only she knew how much I was obsessed with her. Now I am happy in my new marriage, but I always remember my first wife with a smile. She was really ideal woman! - shared Insaf.

"She's better off without me"

There are stories in life when men are the initiators of separation. This happened to 31-year-old Nikolai.

I met another woman and left the girl I had been with for four years. After a while, I realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and decided to return. However, male pride did not allow me to take the first step.

The game of silence lasted a year. All this time I was terribly killed. At first he drank, then he changed girls like gloves, then he got a job new job, started renovations in the apartment, did everything possible to take his mind off thoughts about her. Heartache passed two years later when I plucked up the courage and asked my ex to meet. She admitted that without me she life is better, then I let go of thoughts about her,” says Nikolai.

“She told me: “We’re breaking up”

In order to completely dispel the stereotypical opinion that men do not suffer after a breakup, Kazanskie Vedomosti sought advice from a gestalt therapist, systemic family psychologist, and teacher at KSMU Yana Karina.

It is generally accepted that women are more emotional, so they experience a breakup, splashing out all their emotions, says the specialist. - Men, on the contrary, experience everything deep in their souls, which breaks them more. The reason for this is the stereotypes imposed in childhood: “A man is strong, he should not cry.”

If a woman initiated the separation, then men experience this period very painfully. At first, they are in a state of shock and deny in every possible way. this situation, cannot realize that their beloved has left them. Next, the process of comprehension begins. Men are trying to find the reason for the separation. If a representative of the stronger sex understands that he really needs this woman, then attempts are made to return the relationship. When this stage is overcome, the relationship reaches a new, more serious level. But in this case, the initiative must come from both partners.

Pride often gets in the way of trying to get your beloved back. However, she disappears when the realization comes that being with her beloved is better than without her.

Most often, the reason for separation is a misunderstanding between partners - women are accustomed to talking about their desires in hints, which men often do not understand. The psychology of the stronger sex is designed in such a way that men live for the family: they earn money, achieve career growth, are developing. Women, on the contrary, live for themselves in this regard. The phrase “We are breaking up,” heard from a lover, sounds like a shock to a man, because his efforts were not appreciated.

During a separation there is the most difficult period - uncertainty, when both partners hope for a reunion.

Why are breakups painful? We lose not only a specific person, but also everything connected with him, from communication to joint plans. After a breakup, the established rhythm of life changes.

The period of acclimatization after separation lasts from one to two years, but cases are different - it all depends on the depth of feelings that the partners had.

Breaking up a relationship cannot be made painless. However, this period can be experienced more comfortably - experience all emotions and in no case deny them. Sports also provide good emotional relief.

"I told her, 'We're breaking up.'

It’s always easier to leave,” says Yana Karina. - When a man independently decides to break up, it means that, being in a relationship, he has already experienced many doubts and consciously came to this decision. But, as practice proves, men are rarely able to leave the family, they wait until the last minute, and cannot take on the responsibility of filing for divorce. The reason lies in the stability of the established system and in their own strengths that they invested in these relationships.

Alina BEREZHNAYA; Photo: Farit MURATOV

The decision to break off a relationship with a man is always difficult for a woman. This is an emotional shock, stress for a woman, but sometimes it becomes an even greater shock for her a man's behavior after a breakup. Men behave differently after a breakup, but some things, according to psychologists, are common to many members of the opposite sex. How to recover after a breakup and normalize your life?

Male behavior after a breakup

If the girl is the initiator of the breakup, then the man in most cases is not able to calmly accept her statement about the breakup. Sometimes it happens that man after breakup shows incredible activity: he is looking for meetings with ex-girlfriend, tirelessly calls, writes, even blackmails her, threatening her with suicide. Psychologists remind girls that such threats are a method of manipulating a woman, and they should not react painfully to them. After all, people who really want to commit suicide will not warn about it. You need to know so that this separation passes without any loss or trauma for the psyche of both. It is best to blacklist the man on all social networks and on the phone after a serious conversation has taken place. If a girl allows herself to react to the messages sent ex-boyfriend messages, it will be extremely difficult for her to recover after the breakup.

What do men do after a breakup?

It is generally accepted that the male sex never shows emotions, does not show their suffering, and in general rarely suffers due to a breakup. Actually this is not true. Even the strong ones courageous men Having lost their beloved girl, they experience difficult moments in their lives. Someone tries to wash down their grief with vodka, but drunkenness, as a rule, does not last long. Soon the man returns to his old life. But long-term drinking bouts are also possible, which can ruin a man’s life and his relationships with his family.

Many members of the opposite sex experience breaking up with a woman completely different. They are completely immersed in work, immersed in everyday affairs, without giving themselves time and reason to remember, think and be sad. Another common one male behavior after a breakup- change women like gloves. For men, breaking up a relationship at the initiative of a woman is a severe blow to their self-esteem and manhood, so in order to rehabilitate themselves in front of themselves and their ex-girlfriend, they begin to have an active sex life, constantly changing partners. There are also cases when a friendship develops between a guy and a girl after a breakup. Tender and romantic feelings may fade away, but the habit and spiritual closeness with the girl will remain.

How do relationships develop between a man and a woman after a breakup?

There are often cases when a man continues to be interested in his former partner several years later, despite a new relationship and even the presence of a family. Most often, such interest is caused by girls who have left a deep mark on the heart. Is it worth renewing the relationship? Psychologists note that the possibility of resuming a relationship directly depends on the cause of the breakup. If a man tries to resume a relationship with a woman, having fully realized the reason for the breakup, having been mentally prepared to work on himself, on the relationship, for the changes that are necessary for well-being, then in this case you can give him a chance to prove himself. But most often, men come to this realization when a woman is either already burned out, or is so depressed and broken that she does not have the moral strength to communicate further. You must be able to see. It all depends on the specific situation, but the tips given above will help girls build the right relationship with a man after a breakup.

Hello everyone! Nikolay is in touch with you again. You have hopefully read the previous articles. How men cope with a breakup will be discussed today.

For some reason, women think that men take breakups much easier. What a tragedy for a girl. Do men experience breakups at all?

Most likely, this opinion arose from the fact that a woman more emotional than men. It’s not for nothing that they are considered the weaker sex. But psychologists, having conducted research, say the opposite.

Men endure a lot more pain. Read on to find out how they cope with this stress and what needs to be done.

How men experience the breakdown of relationships with their loved ones and unique ones.

A man has a rule of hiding his weaknesses. It is in his character to hide his emotions deeply. And a representative of the fairer sex needs to find a vest in which she can cry and talk about her grief.

A man, even a daring, brutal, strong man, after being abandoned by his beloved, becomes withdrawn and not talkative. He seeks salvation in alcohol, in fights, in parachute jumping. He needs to get the adrenaline pumping in his blood.

Having conducted research into how men and women experience a breakup in relationships, scientists have come to a conclusion. Men endure everything that happens in relationships more difficult than women.

And if we analyze family psychology, then most men have a weaker psyche than the female sex.

Talk about how men don’t get over a breakup at all is completely unfounded. It's just a myth.

Being alone is scary for both sides. Only the female side emotionally endures this gap, while the male side carries it within itself. But believe me, it is much harder.

They remember happy meetings in the past, and their souls are shed with burning tears. They cry silently, to themselves. Men are very afraid if someone else notices their tears. And really few people see them. This is how men experience breakups with their girlfriends.

This became the reason for the creation of myths, supposedly men are “insensitive idols.”

It is these myths that become the impetus for rash actions. You all know these actions: - flying from the roof of a high-rise building without a parachute, vows of celibacy, promiscuous sexual relations, and so on.

I am often asked the question whether men worry. My dears, it makes no difference who she is - his mistress, or his girlfriend, or his wife. It all depends on how a man treats his partner. If he has a pure, high relationship, then this is love. In this case, it does not matter whether she is his mistress or his girlfriend. She is desirable to him, regardless of status.

An instructive story.

In my life I have known many unhappy couples. A good friend of mine loved a girl very much in his youth. The guy was athletic, smart, sociable. Overall, he's handsome.

She was beautiful and bright blonde, in terms of appearance, and knew about his love, but somehow treated him coolly. Apparently the time has not come. This went on for several years.

He began to drink, his curly hair early turned gray. And something woke up in her. He became dear to her. She began to take care of him. Then they got married and had a child.

Unfortunately, over the past few decades, the number of divorces married couples continues to grow steadily, and quarrels and conflicts are increasingly shaking the walls of our family “huts”. The blame for everything is modern dynamic times, when it is easier to cross out everything and start over, without bothering with attempts to maintain existing relationships that have been built over the years. But a breakup and parting are still always painful, for both sides. But who worries more: men or women?

Difference between the sexes

It's no secret that men and women experience breakups differently. Of course, it’s not worth brushing everyone with the same brush, because everywhere there are exceptions to the rules and everyone reacts to the same situations. different people will be different - depending on temperament, character, lifestyle, etc. But still, women are considered more emotional, letting everything pass through themselves, so parting for them is always a shock and surprise, even if things have been heading towards this for a long time. In most cases, a man can be the initiator of a breakup, so this will not be a surprise for him. But if you think that a man will worry less than a woman, then you are deeply mistaken.

How do women feel?

As we said above, women are more emotional creatures. On the one hand, this is bad - tears, nervous breakdowns, stress. On the other hand, it’s good: we cried and forgot. And feelings about breaking up with a loved one follow exactly this pattern. A woman takes a breakup very hard at the beginning; she literally becomes depressed, loses her appetite, sleep, and interest in life.

But over time it becomes easier, a woman, like a phoenix, is reborn from the ashes, and now, she is ready to live and enjoy life again. This unique characteristic that most women have, coupled with the fact that ladies fearlessly express their emotions, ensures stronger mental health and the absence of unpredictable nervous breakdowns, which cannot be said about men.

How do men feel?

For men, the opposite is true, although, as we said above, there are exceptions to any rule. Representatives of the stronger sex keep most of their emotions to themselves, unlike women, they do not splash them out, mostly because. That they simply don’t know how to do it. That’s why they seem calm and unperturbed even after the most stormy showdowns and loud breakups.

However, this does not mean that it is not easy for them; on the contrary, it may be much harder for them than for women, precisely because of suppressed emotions that do not find a way out. And, undoubtedly, men experience a breakup much longer than women; they remember their relationships more often and more painfully, and this brings them real suffering.