Most of the results of our work directly depend on a person’s ability to establish contacts. Communication skills truly solve most problems, provide choice, and open up new opportunities. What do you need to work on to make communication successful? Can everyone develop good communication skills?
Factors for successful communication
People understand without words many of the internal states of their interlocutor on a subconscious level. They are conveyed by body language, as psychologists say, this is non-verbal information, which is sometimes more eloquent than any words. What can our appearance tell us about us?
- Demeanor. Calm, confident attitude towards oneself is read by direct gaze, good posture, and absence of nervous movements. Self-confidence is the basis of equal communication. Without it, you will always take the position of a beggar, losing any negotiations in advance.
- Well-groomed appearance. Whatever style a person prefers, clothes, hairstyle, shoes should be neat. However, when going for an interview with a potential employer, for example, it is better to dress appropriately. By creating your own unique clothing style, you show your individuality. However, remember about aesthetics; it is better not to violate its basic laws.
- Facial expression, facial expressions, emotions. The stony, gloomy face looks repulsive. Excessive gaiety makes you suspect frivolity. Although of course it all depends on the situation. At a party, seriousness is unnecessary, just as it is inappropriate to make jokes at the negotiating table. Our face tells people a lot. It is worth learning to control our emotions and facial expressions so that our intentions are emphasized by non-verbal ways of transmitting information.
However, appearance is just the tip of the iceberg. The ability to make profitable contacts, make deals, and simply acquire good friends and acquaintances directly depends on several factors. Don't think that an ear-to-ear Hollywood smile will attract people to you. Quite the contrary. Ostentatious good nature, unnatural, artificial grimaces will only make others suspicious of you. Why? Because the facial expressions are so unnatural. Even you yourself will begin to get nervous, experience an unpleasant feeling that something is wrong. And convey it non-verbally to your interlocutor.
To ensure successful communication, follow these rules:
I think the main idea is clear: for communication to be successful, you need to work on your habits: control the flow of information that we transmit to others (verbal - verbal and non-verbal - body language). The ability to assess a situation, behave in accordance with it, speak freely, show interest and respect for your interlocutor, remain yourself, and respect the freedom of others are the basic factors of successful communication.
1. “We never get a second chance to make a first impression.” - this famous phrase perfectly emphasizes importance appearance a person, his image. After all, the first impression of a person is the strongest. It is deeply etched in the memory and leaves a mark forever.
This is a reason to make sure that clothes, shoes, hairstyle, demeanor, gait, facial expression are at the proper level and only play “plus”.
And with an impeccable suit and neat hairstyle, you need to remember that our face, the map from which the interlocutor “reads” and decides whether to deal with this “terrain” or whether it is better to find something safer and more pleasant. Avoid condescending, arrogant, aggressive, or threatening facial expressions.
2. It has been proven that The main formation of an opinion about a person occurs during the first four minutes of communication. For this, we have time to scan the interlocutor from head to toe, catch the most insignificant gestures, eye expressions, etc. At this moment, the senses work at full capacity, perceiving the object through all channels.
As a result, it is synthesized complete image and we are already, on the basis of the “research” carried out, forming for it own attitude. We already understand whether the interlocutor is pleasant or unpleasant to us, whether we will strive to communicate with him or, on the contrary, avoid him.
It happens, of course, that the first impression is deceiving, but it is very stable. You can change it, but this will require some effort.
Means, the first ones are better four minutes of communication, use all your charm, maintain a friendly, positive tone of conversation.
3. From the very beginning of the conversation, it is necessary to maintain a positive attitude and communicate as equals like friends. Tactfulness, politeness, respect, goodwill towards the interlocutor best qualities to establish long-term and mutually pleasant relationships.
4. Remember that a smile is the best business card. It not only attracts our interlocutor, but also helps us maintain good things, maintain a positive outlook on the world around us, and increases efficiency.
There is a relationship between facial expression and our state of mind. A smile on the face activates brain structures that are responsible for our emotional background and, therefore, our mood improves.
It is known that to improve your mood you need to smile and pretend to be happy. After this, more positive emotions really appear.
5. The method of affirmative answers or the Socratic method . Start communicating with your interlocutor with those tasks, topics, issues on which you know that you agree.
Choose and construct questions that your communication partner will answer with agreement.
With the accumulation of affirmative answers, a certain inertia develops. A person who answered “yes” to nine questions will most likely agree with the tenth.
6. Successful communication is impossible without listening skills. And this ability, the ability to be a good listener, can be developed and trained.
Concentrating on the essence of the conversation and not trying to remember everything is unrealistic.
Avoid extraneous thoughts.
While listening to your interlocutor, do not think about what other question to ask him or how to answer him.
Highlight the most important and valuable information received from the interlocutor.
Find out for yourself what thoughts, words, ideas cause an emotional outburst in you and “neutralize” them. Otherwise, the strong ones will disrupt your concentration and attention.
During the conversation, understand “What is the speaker pursuing? What does he want to convey, communicate, convey?”
Be attentive not only to the words spoken, but also to how they are pronounced by the interlocutor. With what facial expressions, gestures, pace, intonation, with relaxation or tension, with pressure or sluggishness.
Let your interlocutor know that you understand his thoughts. To do this, you can repeat what you heard or convey the meaning of the information you heard.
Avoid value judgments, do not give “A” or “F”, “bad” or “good”.
While listening, keep your advice to yourself, even if it arises from a desire to help; it does not allow the interlocutor to speak out the way he would like.
P.S. Friends, visit the site, read the latest publications and find out who is in the TOP of the best commentators of the current month.
Successful communication necessary at work, at home for mutual understanding with friends. Many people think that communication is quite simple, why undergo special training, training, or read literature? At the same time, business people understand that correct communication- the path to success, concluding contracts, career growth.
Ability to communicate, find an approach to people, common ground in important issues, arouse sympathy and influence decision-making, are necessary like air in modern world. The more friends and social circle, the more knowledge and opportunities a person has. The circle of friends determines the person himself, inner world, aspirations, achievements.
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How to learn to get acquainted with the right people, support good relationship, to be successful in communications? This article is devoted to these issues; we will consider the main issues and areas of communication:
- friendship and communication;
- family and mutual understanding;
- how to influence people, the basics of negotiations.
Friendship and rules of communication
Every person wants to have reliable and devoted friends nearby, to be loved, respected, and appreciated. How to win the recognition of friends and sympathy from others?
We offer basic rules for successful communication and meeting people:
- Maintain eye contact while communicating. This does not mean looking into the eyes all the time, periodically making eye contact, at the subconscious level, this speaks of openness and honesty, besides, glances to the sides indicate a lack of attention to the interlocutor, disrespect.
- Listen carefully to your interlocutor. A good interlocutor is not one who talks a lot, but who knows how to listen well, with understanding, responds with interested remarks, asks clarifying questions, and shows understanding, which is especially important when dating. It is important to treat feelings with understanding difficult situations in people's lives, to support friends and acquaintances.
- Be sincerely interested in the life and interests of your interlocutor. Successful communication involves first finding out information about the other person, rather than trying to impress with your achievements. This information It will be needed when the interlocutor begins to show interest in your life in return.
- Ask more open-ended questions. Suitable for obtaining information about the interlocutor open questions, which allow you to learn more about hobbies, areas of activity, life experience, points of contact, common interests.
- Be confident. By maintaining self-confidence, you signal to your interlocutor that you give the impression of reliability as a partner, a friend, and the person will be imbued with trust.
- Smile. Successful communication presupposes the ability to win over a person; a smile is a wonderful way and speaks of goodwill and openness. Naturally, it should be appropriate; it is better not to overuse it when discussing serious issues.
- Show a sense of humor in your communication, people are drawn to positivity. There is such a concept - “the soul of the company”; the main difference between such people is a positive attitude towards life, which attracts and gathers the company around. Dejection is not interesting to people, only those closest to you will understand problems and experiences, ordinary acquaintances should not talk about it. Remember the good things: achievements, interests, hobbies, trips.
- Treat people with love and respect. A person always needs a feeling of significance; it is necessary, like air and water, on a subconscious, instinctive level. Without receiving recognition, people engage in extortion - complain about life, relatives, friends. By showing respect, a person himself evokes sympathy and a response from his interlocutor.
- Be honest in your communications. Sincerity and honesty are always visible, in gestures, facial expressions, smiles, words. But they will notice the lie, and then they will feel embarrassed for their words. You shouldn’t embellish, “show off” - find your advantages, achievements that you can be proud of. Each person is unique and original; you need to remember and write down your merits first. Psychologists say: first love yourself, then other people will love and respect you. Write your advantages on paper, think, ask relatives and friends. It is important to understand the strengths and weaknesses personality. Strong ones add confidence, weak ones are a signal for self-development.
- Communicate in a friendly manner. Successful communication begins with an attitude towards conversation; you need to have a positive attitude towards the interlocutor, showing interest and respect. Goodwill is felt in intonations, gestures, and words. A good communicator usually loves people and communication, otherwise it is better to work with machines or go to a monastery, although even there communication cannot be avoided.
- Criticize less, notice more the good in a person. Interesting point— people don’t understand criticism; it usually causes a negative, defensive reaction. You need to very carefully convey mistakes to friends and subordinates, in the form of advice or recommendations. But any person is pleased to hear words of approval; it is worth noticing the good in relationships and people more often, smoothing out the negative, and looking for compromises.
- Support, compliment, appreciate your strengths. Each person is unique, has his own characteristics, talents, find, recognize, praise for achievements, it is always pleasant.
- Congratulations on the holidays, especially your birthday. Date of birth is very important for a person, now even at the level corporate culture calls from clients and congratulations on this day are provided, which increases loyalty to the company.
- When communicating, try to remember the name and use it in conversation. A person’s name is most pleasant to a person; if it’s difficult to remember, make a note, write it down in your phone or notebook, try to call it more often. This applies to meeting new people and working with people.
- Be attractive. It is difficult to say clearly what attractiveness is? It’s not just appearance that plays a role, there’s also mood, attitude to life, inner strength, confidence. People can be very different and still be attractive. You need to find your own characteristics that allow you to be attractive and use them in communication.
By following these rules, it will be easier to make new acquaintances, communicate with people, and maintain good relationships. You can learn more about the principles of communication from the book by D. Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” J. Spiegel “Flirting is the Path to Success.”
Family and rules of communication
Family is an important sphere of a person’s life; it constantly involves interpersonal relationships with spouses, children, and parents. Successful communication in the family is very important for building good friendly relationships, an atmosphere of mutual understanding and mutual assistance. Naturally, all people are different, have their own personal interests, how to combine them into common ones, move in the same direction, build strong family relationships?
Basic rules of family communication:
- Choosing the right partner for marriage. This question is purely individual. At the same time, psychologists agree that the general family values, worldviews, ideals, aspirations, interests unite the family and allow them to be stronger. There is also an opinion that opposites attract, this happens, but it has not been scientifically confirmed.
In most cases, a person is looking for someone like himself, although for an insecure woman it can be convenient to be married to a male leader and vice versa, there is already a question of dominance and decision-making in the family. There are also relationships of the “daughter-father”, mother-son type,” this refers to people who need care and support, they choose a spouse who is older in age.
The main thing is that it is easy to communicate with a person and that a trusting relationship is created. The opinions of others should not be decisive, only the person himself chooses a life partner and connects with him future life. The presence of sympathy and common values, of course, makes it easier life together. Passionate love is a separate issue, it is good, but it does not always tolerate the difficulties of everyday life without the presence of other common interests, goals, and the desire to create a strong family.
2. Role distribution in the family. It is important to immediately decide on the responsibilities in the family and the distribution of roles; there are 3 options: the husband is the head of the family, the wife is at the head, or joint decision-making on budget issues, raising children, and recreation. Typically this distribution depends on business qualities and security of spouses. IN lately More and more relations are being built on democratic principles, everything can be discussed and a decision can be made.
3. Trust relationships. Often, especially women, there may be some negative feelings, something they don’t like in a relationship, but they keep silent, worry on their own, for fear of offending or losing a loved one. You need to learn to calmly discuss everything important points, even intimate things. Otherwise, the negativity will still make itself felt and will eventually turn into a conflict.
4. Psychological characteristics men and women. It is interesting that men and women have different attitudes towards the difficulties of life. Women love to discuss everything and give advice; men sometimes need to be alone and think for themselves. They need the support and faith of a woman in his strength, and girls need care and attention.
Women should not lecture or remake a man; show more trust and recognition of his merits. Praise is always pleasant, but criticism only harms relationships.
Men should treat their wife’s experiences with understanding, women can be emotional, there is no need to make excuses, just accept it, sympathize, and treat it with understanding.
You can study in more detail the differences between the psyches of men and women by reading the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray or other literature.
5. Building relationships with children. Successful communication with children requires special approaches. Children need attention from both mothers and fathers, especially boys in childhood and adolescence, being a model of behavior. Girls also need contact with their father: communication, games - this will help in the future when choosing a life partner and building harmonious relationships. With constant communication, it is fathers who become advisers on important issues - choosing a profession, personal problems.
The mother is the first person in the child’s life, provides his life, protection, and participates in the formation of attachments. The ability to love and connect with people depends on building relationships early in life.
Children who grew up in an atmosphere of understanding and support in childhood show care and love in the future. romantic relationships, and children who grew up in strict conditions do not trust the world, are suspicious, jealous. If children received little attention during their childhood and there was no support from their mother, then they have difficulty making contact and withdraw into themselves.
Important point- education does not occur spontaneously, but in the process of communication. Therefore, the parent’s behavior model is perceived by the child and absorbed from childhood. The child learns and understands the picture of the world through communication with his parents - he finds out who he is, what he is like, whether he is worthy of love and respect. It is important to find time to talk, play with your child, and be attentive to his questions and interests.
When communicating with children, it is important to avoid extremes—lisping and rudeness; you need to be attentive and friendly. Any contact with parents is a process of education; the child learns to understand the world and communicate with people. You need to communicate with a child from infancy, he perceives speech, intonation, and rather begins to communicate himself.
During adolescence, we must try to be understanding of the child’s closed nature, his thoughts, give advice when he asks, and help in the formation of interests. Everything should be in moderation, based on trust.
Successful communication with children is possible if you overcome the following barriers:
- employment- we are often busy with work, household chores, and the child feels lonely, does not feel cared for, this leads to delays in emotional development, alienation;
- age— we forget that the child has his own interests, understanding of life, experience. You need to try to get into his position, to remember yourself at that age;
- old stereotypes- the child grows, develops, matures, but it seems to the parents that he is still small and needs care. Or maybe there are other needs?
- educational traditions— we often use methods familiar from childhood, out of habit, without considering current trends, opportunities for progress, new approaches, differences in children.
- dictatorship— constant strict control and teachings do not contribute to building good and trusting relationships. It is necessary to explain all actions, give the child freedom of action whenever possible, when the situation allows.
Of course, the main rule: respect, understanding of other people in the family, support; family is a support for a person; it is important to have good relationships with relatives, children, and between spouses. Joint sports, hiking, and work unite and strengthen the family. Let the children participate family life from childhood, helping parents, learning from life experience.
Communication plays an important role in our lives. We are constantly talking to someone - whether it's small talk with a friend about her new lover or a job interview with an employer, telephone conversation with mom or remote communication with a business partner. And I think that many girls would like the interlocutor to take their side after important negotiations (even if at first he had no intention of doing this at all and even, on the contrary, resisted). Well, or at least leave a good impression of yourself.
That is why the website for women Stylish Thing today talks about rules for successful communication.
Rules for successful communication from the site
There are several basic rules of communication. They are simple and known to all successful people (it is thanks to them that they make brilliant deals and enter into multimillion-dollar contracts). By remembering these simple rules, you risk establishing communication with people both familiar and not so familiar.
So let's look at these rules for successful communication in more detail and in order.
First rule
If you are communicating with a stranger or someone you barely know, then first I recommend finding common ground with him. Find out if you have anything in common (hobbies, interests, problems, acquaintances) and try to lead the conversation from there.
Second rule
If you argue about something, be able to argue your opinion. This will help the other person understand you and your point of view.
Third rule
Learn to listen. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and give him the opportunity to express his point of view, no matter how absurd it may be. Ask questions about the subject of the story so that the person understands that you are listening. But don't be overly curious - know when to stop.
Fourth rule
Be honest and tactful. You should not insult or humiliate your interlocutor, even if you fundamentally disagree with his opinion (even if he claims to be fluent in all the rules of successful communication).
Fifth rule
When communicating with a stranger, avoid jargon and slang. Try to keep your speech coherent, polite and appropriate. People strive to communicate with well-read and educated interlocutors.
Sixth rule
Say the other person's name more often. Call him as he asked you or as he introduced himself when you first met.
Having understood the basic rules of successful communication, you can easily improve the culture of your communication, which means it will become more effective and efficient. And who knows, maybe in six months it will be time for you to write a book yourself about the secrets of successful communication.
A site for women, the site wishes you only effective and successful communication.