Church rules of confession. How does confession go?

Confession. Unfortunately, we really have a lot of things mixed up in our heads, and it seems to us that if a person cannot help but sin, he must confess almost every day.

Frequent confession can be very useful at a certain stage of our life, especially when a person is just taking his first steps in faith, is just beginning to cross the threshold of the temple, and an almost unknown space of new life opens up for him. He doesn’t know how to pray correctly, how to build his relationships with his neighbors, how to generally navigate this new life of his, so he makes mistakes all the time, all the time, it seems to him (and not only him), he does something wrong That.

Thus, frequent confession for those people whom we call neophytes is a very important and serious stage in their recognition of the Church and understanding of all the foundations of spiritual life. Such people enter the life of the Church, including through confession, through conversation with a priest. Where else can you talk so closely with a priest if not at confession? The main thing is that here they receive their main first Christian experience of understanding their mistakes, understanding how to build relationships with other people, with themselves. Such a confession is very often a spiritual, confessional conversation more than repentance of sins. One might say - a catechetical confession.

But over time, when a person already understands a lot, knows a lot, and has gained some experience through trial and error, very frequent and detailed confession can become an obstacle for him. Not necessarily for everyone: some people feel quite normal with frequent confession. But for some it can become a barrier, because a person suddenly learns to think something like this: “If I live all the time, it means I sin all the time. If I sin all the time, then I have to confess all the time. If I don’t confess, how will I approach communion with my sins?” Here there is such, I would say, a syndrome of distrust in God, when a person thinks that for confessed sins he has been awarded the honor of receiving the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ.

Of course this is not true. The contrite spirit with which we come to communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ does not cancel our confession. But confession does not cancel a contrite spirit.

The fact is that a person cannot confess at confession in such a way as to take all his sins and set them forth. Impossible. Even if he takes and simply rewrites a book listing all the various sins and perversions that exist on Earth. This will not be a confession. This will be absolutely nothing other than a formal act of distrust in God, which in itself, of course, is not very good.
The most terrible spiritual disease

People sometimes come to confession in the evening, then go to church in the morning, and then - ah! - at the Chalice itself they remember: “I forgot to confess this sin!” - and almost from the line for communion they run away to the priest, who continues the confession, in order to say what he forgot to say in confession. This is, of course, a problem.

Or they suddenly begin to babble at the Chalice: “Father, I forgot to say such and such in confession.” What does a person bring to communion? With love or with mistrust? If a person knows and trusts God, then he knows that God came into this world to save sinners. “From them I am first,” the priest says these words, and each of us says when he comes to confession. It is not the righteous who partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, but sinners, of whom each person who comes to the Chalice is the first, because he is a sinner. This means that he even goes to receive communion with sins.

He repents of these sins, laments over them; this contrition is the most important thing that gives a person the opportunity to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Otherwise, if a person confessed before communion and felt confident that now he would receive communion worthily, now he has the right to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ, then I think that nothing could be worse and worse than this.

As soon as a person feels worthy, as soon as a person feels entitled to receive communion, the most terrible spiritual illness that can befall a Christian will occur. Therefore, in many countries, communion and confession are not a mandatory combination. Confession is performed at its own time and place, communion is celebrated during the Divine Liturgy.

Therefore, those who confessed, say, a week ago, two weeks ago, and their conscience is peaceful, their relations with their neighbors are good, and their conscience does not convict a person of any sins that would weigh on his soul like a terrible and unpleasant stain , he can, lamentingly, approach the Chalice... It is clear that each of us is sinful in many ways, each of us is imperfect. We realize that without God’s help, without God’s mercy we will not become different.

To list the sins that God knows about us - why do something that is already clear? I repent of the fact that I am a proud person, but I cannot repent of this every 15 minutes, although every minute I remain the same proud person. When I come to confession to repent of the sin of pride, I sincerely repent of this sin, but I understand that, having moved away from confession, I did not become humble, I did not completely exhaust this sin. Therefore, it would be pointless for me to come every 5 minutes and say again: “Sinful, sinful, sinful.”

My sin is my work, my sin is my work on this sin. My sin is constant self-reproach, daily attention to what I brought to God for confession. But I can’t tell God about this every time, He already knows it. I will say this next time when this sin trips me up again and again shows me all my insignificance and all my isolation from God. I once again bear sincere repentance for this sin, but as long as I know that I am infected with this sin, until this sin forced me to turn away from God so much that I felt how strong this distance was, this sin may not be the subject of my constant confession, but must be the subject of my constant struggle.

The same applies to everyday sins. Let's say it is very difficult for a person to live a whole day without judging anyone. Or live the whole day without saying a single unnecessary, idle word. The fact that we constantly name these sins in confession will not change anything. If every day in the evening, going to bed, we check our conscience, not just read this memorized prayer, the last one in the evening rule, where money-grubbing, covetousness and any other incomprehensible “possession” is imputed to us as sin, but simply Let us truly examine our conscience and understand that today again was a setback in our life, that today again we did not keep at the height of our Christian calling, then we will bring repentance to God, this will be our spiritual work, this will be exactly the work that is from us The Lord awaits.

But if we list this sin every time we come to confession, but do absolutely nothing, then this confession turns out to be very doubtful.
There is no heavenly accounting

Every Christian can approach the frequency of confession based on the realities of his spiritual life. But it’s strange to think of God as a prosecutor, to believe that there is some kind of heavenly accounting that takes all our confessed sins as offset and erases them from some ledger when we come to confession. That’s why we are afraid, what if we forgot, what if we didn’t say something, and it won’t be erased with an eraser?

Well, they forgot and forgot. It's OK. We hardly know our sins at all. Whenever we become spiritually alive, we suddenly see ourselves as we have not seen ourselves before. Sometimes a person, having lived for many years in the Church, says to the priest: “Father, it seems to me that I was better before, I have never committed such sins as now.”

Does this mean he was better? Of course not. It’s just that then, many years ago, he didn’t see himself at all, didn’t know who he was. And over time, the Lord revealed his essence to man, and then not completely, but only to the very extent to which man is capable of this. Because if at the beginning of our spiritual life the Lord had shown us all our inability for this life, all our weakness, all our inner ugliness, then perhaps we would have despaired of this so much that we would not have wanted to go anywhere further. Therefore, the Lord, by His mercy, even reveals our sins gradually, knowing how sinful we are. But at the same time he allows us to receive communion.
Confession is not training

I don't think confession is something a person trains himself to do. We have spiritual exercises in which we, in a sense, train ourselves, tune ourselves up - this is, for example, fasting. Its regularity is stated in the fact that during fasting a person tries to organize his life. Another spiritual “training” can include a prayer rule, which also really helps a person to organize his life.

But if the sacrament is considered from this point of view, then it is a disaster. You cannot take communion regularly for the sake of regularity of communion. Regular communion is not exercise, not physical education. This does not mean that since I have not taken communion, I have lost something and must take communion in order to accumulate some kind of spiritual potential. It's not like that at all.

A person takes communion because he cannot live without it. He has a thirst to receive communion, he has a desire to be with God, he has a true and sincere desire to open himself to God and become different, uniting with God... And the sacraments of the Church cannot become some kind of physical education for us. They are not given for this, they are still not exercises, but life.

The meeting of friends and relatives does not happen because friends must meet regularly, otherwise they will not be friends. Friends meet because they are very attracted to each other. It is unlikely that friendship will be useful if, say, people set themselves the task: “We are friends, therefore, in order for our friendship to grow stronger, we must meet every Sunday.” This is absurd.

The same can be said about the sacraments. “If I want to confess correctly and develop a real feeling of repentance in myself, I must confess every week,” sounds absurd. Like this: “If I want to become a saint and be with God always, I must take communion every Sunday.” Just ridiculous.

Moreover, it seems to me that there is some kind of substitution in this, because everything is not in its place. A person confesses because his heart hurts, because his soul suffers from pain, because he has sinned and he is ashamed, he wants to cleanse his heart. A person receives communion not because the regularity of communion makes him a Christian, but because he strives to be with God, because he cannot help but receive communion.
Quality and frequency of confession

The quality of confession does not depend on the frequency of confession. Of course, there are people who confess once a year, take communion once a year - and do this without understanding why. Because it’s the way it’s supposed to be and somehow it has to be, the time has come. Therefore, they, of course, do not have some skill in confession, or understanding of its essence. Therefore, as I already said, in order to enter church life and learn something, of course, at first you need regular confession.

But regularity does not mean once a week. The regularity of confession can be different: 10 times a year, once a month... When a person builds his life spiritually, he feels that he needs to confess.

It’s like priests: they each set a certain regularity for their confession. I even think that there is not even any regularity here, except that the priest himself feels the moment when he needs to confess. There is a certain internal obstacle to communion, there is an internal obstacle to prayer, the understanding comes that life is beginning to fall apart, and you need to go to confession.

In general, a person must live like this in order to feel this. When a person does not have a sense of life, when a person measures everything by a certain external element, external actions, then, of course, he will be surprised: “How is it possible to receive communion without confession? Like this? This is some kind of horror!

O. Alexy Umninsky

Confession (the sacrament of Repentance) in our monastery is performed daily during the morning service: from Monday to Saturday - at 7.00, on Sunday - at 6.30 and 9.00.

During Lent confession is being made on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 7.00, on Sundays – at 6.30 and 9.00.

Children under 7 years old can receive communion without confession.

About the Sacrament of Repentance

In the sacrament of repentance, a Christian is given cleansing from sins committed after baptism. The repentant confesses his sins to the Lord and His Church, represented by its representative - a bishop or priest, through whose prayers the Lord forgives the confessed sins and reunites the repentant with the Church.

Every sin is a refusal of Divine light. In order to see your evil, you need to see the light or beauty of God's truth, which shone most of all in the face of the Lord Jesus Christ, in His Gospel, as well as in holy people. Therefore, one must repent before the face of the Lord, to whom the Heavenly Father gave all judgment on earth. The judgment consists in the fact that the Lord is light, and those who reject this light bear the punishment within themselves, going into darkness.

Every sin is a sin against love, since God Himself is love. Violating the law of love, every sin leads to separation from God and people, and, therefore, is a sin against the Church. Therefore, the one who sins falls away from the Church and must repent before it. In ancient times, a sinner repented before the entire church assembly; now the priest alone accepts confession on behalf of the Lord and the Church.

Sin lies not only in individual actions of a person, it is a constant illness that does not allow a person to accept the gift of Divine grace, i.e. deprives it of its source true life. To eradicate sins such as pride or selfishness, constant attention to oneself, the fight against bad thoughts and bitter regret for frequent mistakes are required. This is constant repentance. To inhale grace, you must constantly exhale the fumes of sin. One who constantly checks himself and, at least during evening prayer, remembers his past day, repents more successfully during confession. Those who neglect daily hygiene of the soul easily fall into great sins, sometimes without even noticing them. Repentance, which precedes confession, requires, firstly, awareness of one’s sins; secondly, bitter regret for them and, finally, determination to improve.

A person who repents well also finds the reasons for sinful actions. For example, he will understand that the inability to endure and forgive insults, even the most insignificant ones, is explained by pride, with which he will fight.

The fight against sin must necessarily be expressed in revealing one’s soul to God and other people, since the root of sin is a person’s selfish self-isolation. Confession is, first of all, this way out of painful subjectivity; it also requires self-sacrifice (your pride), without which there is no true love. In addition, the story of sin, often accompanied by burning shame, helps cut off sin from the healthy core of the personality. Other diseases are incurable without a surgeon’s blade or cauterization. Confessed sin becomes alien to a person, and hidden sin produces suppuration of the entire soul. We confess not so much in order to avoid punishment, but in order to be cured of sins, that is, to get rid of their repetition. Receiving the penitent, the priest addresses him: “Be careful, you came to the hospital, do not leave here unwell.”

Sin corrupts our personality, and only Divine love can restore its integrity, that is, heal it. We come for her to the Church, where Christ Himself heals us with His love. And how can grace-filled love not flare up in the heart of a repentant when the Lord says to him: “And I do not condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:11), or, what is the same, when the priest says the words of the prayer of permission? The Lord gave the power to resolve sins to His Church, telling the Apostles: “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18).

The preparation for confession is, firstly, a person’s spiritual life, with constant exercise of conscience, as mentioned above; and, then, special means, such as: solitude for thinking about one’s sins, prayer, fasting, reading the Holy Scriptures and spiritual books.

Confession must be complete, accurate, without self-justification. We must first remember the most annoying sins (passions, vices), and we must fight them first, as well as sins against love (condemnation, anger, enmity). If such sins exist, they must be the subject of constant repentance and struggle, since God is love. For the same reason, before confession, one must make peace with everyone, forgiving and asking for forgiveness. The Lord said: “If you do not forgive people their trespasses, then your Father will not forgive you your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15).

The priest keeps everything that is said in confession as an absolute secret. As a spiritual remedy, the priest can impose penance on the penitent, for example, assign him special spiritual exercises, or temporarily prevent him from receiving Holy Communion.

(Compiled from the book of Bishop Alexander (Semyonov-Tien-Shansky) Orthodox Catechism).

Confession example

We present approximate sample confession, which can be used to guide you in order to better understand yourself while preparing for the Sacrament of Repentance. However, this sample is just a guideline that helps to build a personal confession in which those sins that took place in your life will be named.

“I bring to You, merciful Lord, the heavy burden of my countless sins that I have sinned before You, from my early youth to today.

I have sinned before You, Lord, by ingratitude to You for Your mercies, by forgetting Your commandments and by indifference to You. I sinned by lack of faith, doubt in matters of faith and freethinking. I sinned through superstition, indifference to the truth and interest in non-Orthodox faiths. I sinned with blasphemous and nasty thoughts, suspicion and suspiciousness. I sinned by attachment to money and luxury items, passions, jealousy and envy. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

I sinned by enjoying sinful thoughts, thirsting for pleasure, and spiritual relaxation. I sinned with daydreaming, vanity and false shame. I sinned with pride, contempt for people and arrogance. I sinned with despondency, worldly sadness, despair and murmuring. I sinned with irritability, rancor and gloating. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

I sinned with idle talk, unnecessary laughter and ridicule. I sinned by talking in church, by using the name of God in vain, and by judging my neighbors. I sinned with harshness in words, grumpiness, and sarcastic remarks. He sinned by being picky, insulting his neighbors and exaggerating his abilities. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

I sinned with indecent jokes, stories and sinful conversations. I sinned by murmuring, breaking my promises and lying. Sinned by using swear words, insulting others and cursing. I sinned by spreading defamatory rumors, slander and denunciations. I sinned by laziness, wasting time and not attending divine services. I sinned by frequent lateness to services, careless and absent-minded prayer and lack of spiritual fervor. He sinned by neglecting the needs of his family, neglecting the upbringing of his children and failure to fulfill his duties. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

He sinned through gluttony, overeating and breaking fasts. I sinned by smoking, drinking alcohol and using stimulants. I sinned by being excessively concerned about my appearance, looking with lust and lust, looking at obscene paintings and photographs. I sinned by listening to violent music, listening to sinful conversations and indecent stories. He sinned through seductive behavior, masturbation, fornication and adultery. Sinned by approving or participating in abortion. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

Sinned by love of money, passion gambling. I sinned with passion for my career and success, self-interest and extravagance. I sinned by refusing to help those in need, by greed and stinginess. I sinned through cruelty, callousness, dryness and lack of love. He sinned by deception, theft and bribery. He sinned by visiting fortune-tellers, invoking evil spirits and performing superstitious customs. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

He sinned with outbursts of anger, malice and rude treatment of his neighbors. He sinned through intransigence, revenge, arrogance and insolence. I sinned through disobedience, stubbornness, and hypocrisy. I sinned by careless handling of sacred objects, sacrilege, blasphemy. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord.

I also sinned in words, in thoughts, in actions and with all my feelings, sometimes involuntarily, but most often deliberately due to my stubbornness and sinful custom. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord. I remember some sins, but most of them, due to my negligence and spiritual inattention, I have completely forgotten.

I sincerely repent of all my conscious and unknown sins, and have the determination to do everything possible not to repeat them. Forgive and have mercy on me, Lord."

For those who wish to deeply and thoroughly prepare for the sacrament of confession, we recommend reading the book by Archimandrite John Krestyankin "The experience of constructing a confession" .

Confession is an important event in the life of every believer. An honest and sincere sacrament is a way for a churched layperson to communicate with the Lord through a confessor. The rules of repentance consist not only in what words to start with, when you can undergo the ritual and what you need to do, but also in the obligation of humility and a conscientious approach to the preparation and procedure of confession.

Preparation

A person who decides to go to confession must be baptized. Important condition- sacredly and unquestioningly believe in God and accept His Revelation. You need to know the Bible and understand the Faith, which is where visiting the church library can help.

You should remember and keep in mind, or better yet, write down on a piece of paper all the sins committed by the confessor from the age of seven or from the moment when the person accepted Orthodoxy. You should not hide or remember other people’s misdeeds, or blame other people for your own.

A person needs to give his word to the Lord that with His help he will eradicate sinfulness in himself and make amends for his base deeds.

Afterwards you need to prepare for confession. Before serving, you need to behave like an exemplary Christian:

• the day before, pray diligently and re-read the Bible;
• refuse entertainment and entertainment;
• read the Penitential Canon.

What not to do before repentance

Before repentance, fasting is optional and is performed only at the request of the person. In any case, it should not be administered to small children, pregnant women and sick people.

Before the sacrament, a Christian abstains from physical and spiritual temptations. Viewing ban has been set entertainment programs, reading entertainment literature. It is forbidden to spend time at the computer, play sports or be lazy. It is better not to attend noisy meetings and not to be in crowded companies, to spend the days before confession in humility and prayer.

How does the ceremony take place?

What time confession begins depends on the chosen church; it usually takes place in the morning or evening. The procedure begins before the Divine Liturgy, during and immediately after the evening service. Provided that he is under the auspices of his own confessor, the believer is allowed to agree with him individually when he will confess the person.

Before parishioners line up to see the priest, a general general prayer is read. In its text there is a moment at which the worshipers call given name. This is followed by waiting for your turn.

There is no need to use the brochures issued in churches listing sins as a model for building your own confession. You should not thoughtlessly rewrite advice from there on what to repent of; it is important to take this as an approximate and generalized plan.

You need to repent honestly and sincerely, talking about a specific situation in which there was a place for sin. When reading out a standard list, the procedure becomes a formality and does not carry any value.

The confession ends with the confessor reading out the closing prayer. At the end of the speech, they bow their heads under the priest’s stole, and then kiss the Gospel and the cross. It is advisable to complete the procedure by asking for a blessing from the priest.

How to confess correctly

When performing the sacrament, it is important to adhere to the following recommendations:

• Mention without concealment and repent of any evil committed. There is no point in attending communion if a person is not ready to humbly get rid of sins. Even if the meanness was committed many years ago, it is worth confessing to the Lord.
• Do not be afraid of condemnation from the priest, since the communicant conducts a dialogue not with the minister of the church, but with God. The clergyman is obliged to keep the secret of the sacrament, so what is said during the service will remain hidden from prying ears. Over the years church service the priests absolved all imaginable sins and they could only be upset by insincerity and the desire to hide evil deeds.
• Keep feelings under control and expose sins with words.“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). But tears, behind which there is no clear awareness of one’s accomplishments, are not blissful. Feelings alone are not enough; most often those receiving communion cry out of self-pity and resentment.

  The confession to which a person came to release emotions is useless, because such actions are aimed only at forgetting, but not at correction.

• Do not hide your reluctance to admit your evil behind memory diseases. Confession “I repent that I have sinned in thought, word and deed” is usually not allowed into the procedure. You can receive forgiveness if it was complete and sincere. A passionate desire to undergo the procedure of repentance is required.
• After remission of the most serious sins, do not forget about the rest. Having confessed his most evil deeds, a person goes through the very beginning of the real path to calming the soul. Mortal sins are rarely committed and are often greatly regretted, unlike minor offenses. By paying attention to feelings of envy, pride or condemnation in his soul, a Christian becomes purer and more pleasing to the Lord. The work to eradicate small manifestations of cowardice is more difficult and longer than to atone for great evil. Therefore, you need to carefully prepare for each confession, especially for the one before which you cannot remember your sins.
• To talk at the beginning of confession about what is more difficult to say than the rest. Living with the awareness of an act for which a person torments his soul every day, it can be difficult to admit it out loud. In this case, it is important to remember that the Lord sees and knows about everything and only expects repentance for what he has done. This means that at the very beginning of the dialogue with God, it is important to overcome yourself and state your terrible sin and sincerely ask for forgiveness for it.
• The more meaningful and concise the confession, the better.. You need to state your sins briefly but succinctly. It is advisable to immediately get to the point. It is necessary that the priest immediately understand what the person who comes wants to repent of. You should not mention names, places and dates - this is unnecessary. It is best to prepare your story at home by writing it down, and then cross out everything that is unnecessary and interferes with understanding the essence.
• Never resort to self-justification. Self-pity makes the soul languish and does not help the sinner in any way. Concealing perfect evil in one confession is not the worst thing a Christian can do. It is much worse if a similar situation is repeated. It is important to remember that by attending a sacrament, a person seeks liberation from sins. But he will not achieve this if he leaves them to himself, each time ending the confession with words about the insignificance of some offenses or about their necessity. It is better to state the situation in your own words without excuses.
• Make an effort. Repentance is hard work that requires effort and time. Confession involves daily overcoming your own being on the path to a better personality. The sacrament is not the easy way calm the feelings. This is not a constant opportunity to seek help in a particularly difficult hour, to talk about painful things, to go out into the world as a new person with a pure soul. It is important to draw conclusions about own life and actions.

List of sins

All sins committed by a person are conditionally divided into groups, depending on their content.

In relation to God

• Doubt about one's own faith, the existence of God, and the truthfulness of the Holy Scriptures.
• Long-term non-attendance to holy churches, confessions and communions.
• Lack of diligence when reading prayers and canons, absent-mindedness and forgetfulness in relation to them.
• Failure to keep promises made to God.
• Blasphemy.
• Suicidal intentions.
• Mention of evil spirits in swearing.
• Consumption of food and liquid before communion.
• Failure to fast.
• Work during church holidays.

In relation to one's neighbor

• Reluctance to believe and help save someone else's soul.
• Disrespect and disrespect for parents and elders.
• Lack of action and motivation to help the poor, the weak, the grieving, the disadvantaged.
• Suspicion of people, jealousy, selfishness or suspiciousness.
• Raising children outside of the Orthodox Christian faith.
• Committing murder, including abortion, or self-mutilation.
• Cruelty or passionate love for animals.
• Inflicting a curse.
• Envy, slander or lies.
• Grudge or insult to someone else's dignity.
• Condemning other people's actions or thoughts.
• Seduction.

In relation to yourself

• Ingratitude and carelessness towards one's own talents and abilities, expressed in wasting time, laziness and empty dreams.
• Shirking or completely ignoring one's own routine obligations.
• Self-interest, stinginess, the desire for the strictest economy in order to accumulate money, or wasteful spending of the budget.
• Theft or begging.
• Fornication or adultery.
• Incest, homosexuality, bestiality and the like.
• Masturbation (it’s better to call the sin of masturbation) and viewing depraved images, recordings and other things.
• All kinds of flirtations and flirtations with the purpose of seduction or seduction, immodesty and disregard for meekness.
• Drug addiction, drinking alcohol and smoking.
• Gluttony or deliberate torture of oneself by hunger.
• Eating animal blood.
• Negligence towards one's health or excessive concern about it.

For women

• Violation of church rules.
• Neglect of reading prayers.
• Eating, smoking, drinking in order to drown out resentment or anger.
• Fear of old age or death.
• Immodest behavior, debauchery.
• Addiction to fortune telling.

Sacrament of repentance and communion

In the Russian Orthodox Church, the processes of confession and communion are inextricably linked. Although this approach is not canonical, it is nevertheless practiced in all corners of the country. Before a Christian can receive communion, he goes through the procedure of confession. This is required for the priest to understand that communion is served to an adequate believer who has fasted before the sacrament, who has stood the test of will and conscience, and who has not committed serious sins.

When a person is released from his evil deeds, an emptiness appears in his soul that needs to be filled with God, this can be done at communion.

How to Confess to a Child

There are no special rules for confession of children, except when they reach the age of seven. When leading your child to the sacrament for the first time, it is important to remember some nuances of your own behavior:

• Do not tell the child about his main sins or write a list of what must be told to the priest. It is important that he prepares for repentance himself.
• It is forbidden to interfere with church secrets. That is, ask the offspring questions: “how do you confess,” “what did the priest say,” and the like.
• You cannot ask your confessor for special treatment of your child, or ask about the successes or delicate moments of the church life of your son or daughter.
• It is necessary to take children to confession less often before they are of conscious age, since there is a high probability that confession will turn from a sacrament into a routine habit. This will result in memorizing a list of your minor sins and reading them to the priest every Sunday.

  Confession for a child should be comparable to a holiday, so that he goes there with an understanding of the sacredness of what is happening. It is important to explain to him that repentance is not a report to an adult, but a voluntary recognition of evil in oneself and a sincere desire to eradicate it.

• You should not deny your offspring the opportunity to independently choose a confessor. In a situation in which he liked another priest, it is important to allow him to confess to this particular minister. Selecting a spiritual mentor is a delicate and intimate matter that should not be interfered with.
• It is better for an adult and a child to attend different parishes. This will give the child the freedom to grow up independent and conscious, not tolerating the oppression of excessive parental care. When the family does not stand in the same line, the temptation to overhear the child’s confession disappears. The moment when the offspring becomes capable of voluntary and sincere confession becomes the beginning of the parents’ distance from him.

Examples of Confession

Women's

I, the churched Mary, repent of my sins. I was superstitious, which is why I visited fortune tellers and believed in horoscopes. She held resentment and anger towards her loved one. She exposed her body too much when going out in order to get someone else's attention. I hoped to seduce men I didn’t know, I thought about the carnal and obscene.

I felt sorry for myself and thought about stopping living on my own. She was lazy and idly spent her time doing stupid pleasure activities. I couldn't stand the fast. She prayed and attended church less often than expected. Reading the canons, I thought about the worldly, and not about God. Allowed sexual intercourse before marriage. I thought about dirty things and spread rumors and gossip. I thought about the uselessness of church services, prayers and repentance in life. Forgive me, Lord, for all the sins of which I am guilty and accept the word of further correction and chastity.

Men's

Servant of God Alexander, I confess to my God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, my evil deeds from youth to this day, committed consciously and unconsciously. I repent of sinful thoughts about someone else’s wife, inducing others to use intoxicating substances and leading an idle lifestyle.

Five years ago, I zealously deviated from military service and participated in the beating of innocent people. He ridiculed church foundations, the laws of holy fasts and divine services. I was cruel and rude, which I regret and ask the Lord to forgive me.

Children's

I, Vanya, sinned and came to ask for forgiveness for it. Sometimes I was rude to my parents, didn’t keep my promises, and got irritated. I played on the computer for a long time and walked with friends instead of reading the Gospel and praying. Recently I drew it on my hand and snapped when Godfather asked me to wash away what I had done.

Once I was late for service on Sunday, and after that I didn’t go to church for a month. Once I tried to smoke, which caused me to quarrel with my parents. Didn't attach desired value the advice of the priest and elders, he deliberately did contrary to their words. I offended people close to me and rejoiced in grief. Forgive me, God, for my sins, I will try not to let this happen.

Today I will tell you how to confess correctly for the first time Orthodox person, because the sacrament of confession in the Orthodox Church can confidently be called the most difficult for a Christian. Because it is in this sacrament that human free will is most fully realized. After all, a person himself decides to change, he himself decides to come to God and, in front of a witness (priest), tell him what he did wrong, what he is ashamed of and what he renounces, and will try not to do this in the future. Confession is the act of renouncing sin for the sake of God and for the sake of one’s soul.

At what age do people go to confession for the first time?

The first sacrament of confession in Orthodox Church must be completed after the person is seven years old. That's how works done by a person before the age of seven have already been redeemed by Christ. Seven years is the age of awareness and responsibility, from the age of seven, a child ceases to be a baby and becomes an adolescent.

He can understand the meanings and consequences of his actions. This is what the Holy Scripture says. Therefore, the first confession for a Christian who grew up in a church-going family occurs in childhood.

For a child

Traditionally, preparation for confession begins with the child’s upbringing, when he is told about mortal sins, God, the Church and its Sacraments. Thus, the little man learns about the correct and incorrect models of behavior and, when coming to confession, compares his behavior with them.

However, before the first confession, it is still worth discussing everything with the child again and warning him what to say to the priest about the fact that he is confessing for the first time. Priests communicate in a special way with those who have not undergone this sacrament before. They understand that in such a situation, correctness and tact are extremely important.

We will use this advice not only in relation to little confessors, but also in relation to those adults who, by chance, approach the sacrament for the first time even in adulthood.

For an adult

But for them this event is a little more complicated. Since all preliminary preparation rests solely on their shoulders. First you need to decide on a place, time and priest.

This can be any church convenient in location to the confessor’s home, or simply pleasant to the confessor. In which he feels comfortable and calm. It is better to go to confession for the first time on a weekday, since then there will be less people than on Sunday at the liturgy, and the priest will be able to devote more time.

And those who confess for the first time are in dire need of special attention priest You can discuss the time of your confession with the priest in advance. If he does not have previously planned requirements, then he will have to enlighten her.

You can also ask him for advice on preparing for confession and necessary literature, which he can recommend buying. Or borrow from your library or parish library. Some churches have these.

Preparing for the first confession

What follows is the preparation for the first confession. The Church recommends fasting in the days preparing for confession, that is, abstaining from food of animal origin (meat, fish, milk, eggs) and sexual relations.

The number of days of fasting is determined by the confessor himself; it may be one day, it may be a week, it may not be at all, since fasting is not required condition. Simply, fasting will facilitate the collection of all thoughts on one topic - the upcoming confession. And only if a person is going to go to communion after the first confession, a fast of at least three days becomes obligatory.

It is especially important to take time to pray and read Scripture. There is also literature that contains lists of sins, these are those sins that stem from mortal sins or contribute to their commission. However, this literature should be discussed in advance with the priest so that it is not uncanonical and misleading.

How to prepare properly

Mortal sins are those actions that are committed against the Ten Commandments of God's Law. These are pride, adultery, envy, gluttony, despondency, anger, love of money, theft, murder (abortion is also murder). They confess first. You should familiarize yourself with these lists and remember whether these actions took place in the past.

If, in the process of preparing for confession, it turns out that remembering one sin, the other two are forgotten, then you can begin to write down the sins that you need to confess. For some, by the time of confession, an entire notebook has already been written. There is nothing shameful or scary about this.

On the contrary, it means that the person prepared correctly, took the matter seriously and was extremely frank before God and himself. You should also just think and realize what you have done in life that you are ashamed of, and listen to your conscience. Maybe what you are ashamed of is not on any of the lists of sins. It’s still worth reporting this in confession.

If these actions are not a sin, the priest will explain this and perhaps try, together with the confessor, to understand why they bother him so much. If notes were made, they should be handed over to the priest during confession. He will read it. Or the confessor can read out his sins himself. If confession is during the liturgy, then it should be read quietly so as not to distract the rest of the worshipers.

How to behave correctly and confess at your first confession

It is better to confess in your own words, rather than memorized phrases from books. After voicing or reading out the sins, the priest can ask any questions. Also, questions that worry or confuse the soul can be asked by the confessor himself.

After all, the first confession means the beginning of a person’s churching, the beginning of his life in the Church. Consequently, he still does not understand much and it is logical that he would want to ask what is not clear to him from the priest. This can and should be done at confession and not only at the first.

However, one should take into account how many others came to confession. Their time must be respected and if there are any and confession occurs during the liturgy, then ask the priest questions later. Except for those that most deeply stir the soul.

Before confession, it is advisable to apologize to those to whom harm was done and, if possible, reconcile. If this is not realistic, since those whom the confessor saddened are already dead or are too far away, and connections with him have been lost, then such grievances must definitely be confessed.

Traditional ritual of Orthodox confession

When approaching confession, you should know that it will be conducted according to the traditional Orthodox ritual by a priest at a lectern specially allocated in the church (a tall, elongated tetrahedral table with a flat board), on which the cross and the Gospel will lie.

When approaching him, you should cross yourself and place two fingers (index and middle) on the Gospel. Afterwards, the priest can immediately place the epitrachelion on his head. Outwardly, it looks like a long embroidered scarf joined several times along its length and worn by a priest.

The priest may first listen to the confessor and then place it on his head. In any case, there is nothing to be afraid of. Having laid it down, he will read a prayer for the remission of sins. He will cross. All this time, most likely, will have to be spent bending slightly towards the lectern. But it won't last long.

After the prayer, the priest will remove the epitrachelion from the confessor and then you need to cross yourself, kiss the cross and the Gospel and ask the priest for a blessing.

Penance after confession

It is possible, but unlikely in our time, that a priest will order penance after confession. This should not be taken as a punishment. Penance is just a series of actions necessary to eradicate sin from the life of a confessor.

If penance is beyond your strength and time, you should immediately tell the priest about it. An adequate priest will try to get into the situation and either cancel the penance or mitigate it. Usually this is some kind of prayer rule, bows or acts of mercy (helping the sick, the poor). However, penance is, in principle, extremely rarely prescribed today. And more often in general, if a person asks for it himself.

If I cried

If tears flow from the confessor during confession, you should not be ashamed of it. However, you need to try not to let the tears turn into hysterics. Also, there is no need to rush to console those who are crying after moving away from confession. At this moment, people do not need the consolation of other people. On the contrary, they do not want excessive attention to themselves.

What to wear to confession

Also, do not forget, when coming to church to confession, about the proper appearance. For men, these are trousers (not shorts), shirts or T-shirts with sleeves and preferably without designs depicting dragons, devils, fairy tale characters, naked women, scenes of drinking, smoking, etc.

If the time is cold, a man needs to take off his hat in church. For women, modest clothing is required that covers the shoulders, most of the décolleté, a skirt no higher than the knee, and a headscarf. There should be no cosmetics. It is especially important not to paint your lips, as you will need to venerate the cross and the Gospel.

It is better for girls not to wear high-heeled shoes to confession, as they may have to stand for a long time. If the confessor did not find out from the priest in advance where confession takes place during the liturgy, then you can ask one of the worshipers. By the way, confession often takes place not only at the liturgy, but also at the evening service. Its time is usually announced by a notice on the church door.

Priest at home for the sick

In the case when a person wants to confess, but due to illness cannot come to church, then you can call a priest to your home. The rest of the preparation will be the same.

But if a sick confessor has a desire to fast before confession, he should first consult a doctor about this. If the doctor is against dietary restrictions, it is better to listen to him. Since a person is obliged to take care of his health, as a gift from God. Neglecting it is also a sin (therefore, smoking, drunkenness, drug addiction are sins and are sometimes equated to slow suicide).

The most important thing to remember is why confession is necessary at all. If a person decides to confess, it means he has decided to change. This will not always work out right away. But you should strive not to repeat your mistakes over and over again.

However, if this happens, this does not mean that they will not need to be confessed in the future. You can't confess in reserve. After the first confession, you must continue to confess regularly. As the experience of the Church shows, you will most likely have a reason for this, and you should not be too afraid of this, because even the saints confessed until their last days.

In principle, there are no sinless people: the Bible, the church and common sense speak about this. A person who visits God’s temple more than once a year certainly knows how For Orthodox Christian Confession is important: how to correctly name your sins in confession - the priest’s advice will help answer this question.

If you are going to confess in church for the first time, read the previous article about. After all, this the most important sacrament in the life of every Christian requires special preparation, morale and pure intentions. During confession, a person experiences a session of reconciliation with God; he does not simply list his sins in the presence of a priest or quote all the “10 Commandments.”

The person comes first with repentance and awareness of one’s sins. If you don’t know what sins to name, turn first to church literature. Read the books “Interpretation of the Gospel” by B.I. Gladkov or “To help the penitent” by St. Ignatius Brianchaninov. However, this one in all respects useful literature you shouldn't get carried away.

During confession, you should not pour out church words and terms with all your might, behave too pretentiously, or, conversely, too petty, naming all the slightest sins and mistakes. Confession is a great spiritual work, and should be practiced throughout life. We come to confession to expose our sin to God, to repent and realize the ugliness of our sin.

Your repentance must come from within, from the heart. This directly means that from now on you will not repeat the sins you have committed in the future, or you undertake to fight the temptation to repeat them again.

A person comes to confession before important life events- baptism, wedding, before communion and during major church holidays. Preparations for this sacrament should be made in advance: fast for several days, pray, mentally clear your mind. During this same period, painstaking work takes place on compiling the text of the confession.

The best thing write everything on a piece of paper and repeat it in a calm voice in the church in front of the priest. This way you won’t worry and forget about all the main points of confession.

To confession itself certain requirements are put forward:

• concreteness;
• conciseness;
• sincerity;
• ruthlessness towards one's own sins.

Careful preparation for confession is especially familiar to a woman, since During repentance you should hold back your emotions and give preference to specifics. There is nothing shameful if your confession is preceded by a dress rehearsal.

Also, you can watch a video about confessions other people or write down your own in order to study all the mistakes and not repeat them during the real sacrament. Further, in the article you will learn what to say to the priest: examples of phrases in confession will help you structure your speech correctly. And right now we will tell you how you should under no circumstances behave during confession.

What should you not say in confession?

1. Don't start with trivial sins, such as breaking fast or working during a holiday.
2. Talk only about your sins, and not about the sins of your loved ones.
3. You shouldn’t name your sins right there look for excuses for them.
4. Don't minimize your sin and don't be afraid of condemnation.
5. Don't treat confession like a monthly report, she must be sincere. And the result of confession is repentance.

To the father's question, are you sinners, you should answer: "I sinned" or "I sinned" and name exactly what sin you want to repent of. For example, “I sinned by adultery, by lying” etc. If the priest does not stop you and asks you to specify exactly what sins you have committed, you should not go into details. Also, do not try to hide anything, because you need to be honest, first of all, to yourself.

remember, that The “list of sins” is not limited to the Ten Commandments. You need to entrust your misdeeds and sins to the priest if you:

• • They neglected people out of pride or selfishness.
  • They judged others.
  • They had an abortion or neglected raising children in favor of pleasure.
  • They were cowardly and shifted responsibility onto others.
  • They failed to pay debts or refrained from paying employees.
  • Spread gossip or slander.
  • They were greedy towards those in need.
  • You suffer from alcoholism or drug addiction.
  • Often be lazy and seem to “go with the flow.”
  • Would you like " beautiful life"or luxury.
  • You behave indifferently towards other people and do not help them overcome their own sin.

Perhaps this list of sins will not be entirely complete. Let's add here turning to fortune tellers, theft, blasphemy, anger, cruelty, envy and many more small and serious human sins. You will part with some of them easily and naturally. Others will persecute you even after confession. After all, man is not sinless and not ideal.