Communication plays an important role in our lives. We are constantly talking to someone - whether it's small talk with a friend about her new lover or a job interview with an employer, telephone conversation with mom or remote communication with a business partner. And I think many girls would like the interlocutor to take their side after important negotiations (even if at first he had no intention of doing this at all and even, on the contrary, resisted). Well, or at least leave a good impression of yourself.
That is why the website for women Stylish Thing today talks about rules for successful communication.
Rules for successful communication from the site
There are several basic rules of communication. They are simple and known to all successful people (it is thanks to them that they make brilliant deals and enter into multimillion-dollar contracts). By remembering these simple rules, you risk establishing communication with people both familiar and not so familiar.
So let's look at these rules for successful communication in more detail and in order.
First rule
If you are communicating with a stranger or someone you barely know, then first I recommend finding common ground with him. Find out if you have anything in common (hobbies, interests, problems, acquaintances) and try to lead the conversation from there.
Second rule
If you argue about something, be able to argue your opinion. This will help the other person understand you and your point of view.
Third rule
Learn to listen. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and give him the opportunity to express his point of view, no matter how absurd it may be. Ask questions about the subject of the story so that the person understands that you are listening. But don't be overly curious - know when to stop.
Fourth rule
Be honest and tactful. You should not insult or humiliate your interlocutor, even if you fundamentally disagree with his opinion (even if he claims to be fluent in all the rules of successful communication).
Fifth rule
When communicating with a stranger, avoid jargon and slang. Try to keep your speech coherent, polite and appropriate. People strive to communicate with well-read and educated interlocutors.
Sixth rule
Say the other person's name more often. Call him as he asked you or as he introduced himself when you first met.
Having understood the basic rules of successful communication, you can easily improve the culture of your communication, which means it will become more effective and efficient. And who knows, maybe in six months it will be time for you to write a book yourself about the secrets of successful communication.
A site for women, the site wishes you only effective and successful communication.
Why do some people make friends easily and are liked by everyone, while others are shunned by everyone? We say about one that he is lucky, and call the other unlucky, although the first should be called “able to evoke sympathy”, and the second - “unlikable”, because often luck in life is nothing more than the ability to win over people.
Charm. Charisma. Communication skills. This is important when communicating with friends. This is important when you are looking for a soul mate. This is important even at work, where it would seem that people are valued more. professional qualities, but in reality it is the employee who has skillfully established relationships with management who moves up the career ladder the fastest.
Our lives are implicated in partnerships. Such is the nature of man that in order to survive he must be able to establish contacts with his own kind. And the better and more reliable these contacts are, the more pleasant and successful our life will be. How to make communication successful?
1. Focus on the positive
Look for it in your interlocutor best qualities and tag them. Try to make communication positive, then both you and your partner will benefit from it. If you sincerely admire something in a person, then tell him about it, give him an appropriate compliment. Such simple phrases as “I'm glad that we understand each other well” and “You're right that...” promote communication.
2. Be sincere
People are usually interested in learning something personal about their interlocutor, so don’t deprive them of this opportunity. Tell us a little about yourself, your family or work, especially if you are asked about it. But don’t be intrusive, because someone who talks a lot about himself for a long time is considered a bore.
3. Be careful
Be interested in the interlocutor, ask questions. However, be careful if you notice that a person closes down when discussing certain topics. There is no need to be persistent.
4. Make jokes
People love someone who can make them laugh. If you have a joke or funny story from life - don’t hide them and share them with your interlocutor, he will appreciate it, and at the same time your sense of humor.
5. Keep it simple
Don’t try to impress your interlocutor with your intelligence or erudition, it will most likely have the opposite effect. People like understandable interlocutors, i.e. those with whom they feel equal. No one wants to feel stupider than the other, and there aren’t that many people who like to delve into their partner’s “rich inner world.” Speak in clear phrases, avoid terms and complex metaphors, formulate your thoughts clearly and clearly and this will lead you to success!
6. Know how to listen
The conversation is controlled not by the one who speaks, but by the one who listens. Listening correctly means not just remaining silent, but also expressing your emotions with exclamations, gestures, and leading questions. Listen actively!
7. Use nonverbal language
Watch not only what you say, but also how you say it. Look your interlocutor in the eyes, but do not make such a direct gaze for too long, this may confuse the interlocutor. Many people think that if you look your partner in the eye all the time, you can convince him of your sincerity. In fact, the gaze of the eye should not be held in the eyes for more than 4-5 seconds. Try not to cross your arms or keep them in your pockets during a conversation - these positions can signal to your partner that you are not paying attention. Also make sure that your intonation is friendly and not hostile.
In general, there is no command tone or closed gestures. smile, open position, friendly intonation - yes!
8. Address the person you are talking to by name
The advice is banal, but it works. Remembering a person's name means showing respect and interest in him. A person unconsciously reacts more attentively to an appeal addressed to him personally. Make it a habit to address your partner by name.
9. Know how to argue correctly
A cloyingly sweet conversation, firstly, quickly gets boring, and secondly, it is often useless. People have the right to different points of view, moreover, it is useful to voice these points of view. You should not be afraid if your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of your interlocutor, you just need to be able to respectfully express it and defend it. Remember that disputes, unlike quarrels, can be productive!
10. Don't judge
Don't criticize the other person, because you can never know what prompted him to act one way or another. To evaluate whether a person acted correctly or incorrectly, you need to “walk in his shoes,” as the English say. Therefore, judgmental statements such as “You are wrong” and “You did everything wrong” will never bring any benefit. Instead, say “In some ways you are right, but still...”, “Yes, I agree, however...”
Communication, as you know, is the greatest luxury. Sharpen your skills successful communication and enjoy this luxury!
Each of us is a member of society in general and a certain social group in particular, and it is almost impossible to imagine a person who could live in society without communicating with other representatives of this society. Every day, every person enters into a number of communication processes, communicating with relatives, family members, friends, colleagues and other people. However, some people can communicate with strangers without any difficulties in a matter of minutes, and during friendly meetings and even in the company of unfamiliar people they are always the center of attention, while others experience difficulty communicating even with those closest to them.
Psychology of communication with people, its essence and basic principles
The psychology of communication with people is called upon to study the rules and secrets of successful interaction with others - a branch of psychology aimed at studying the characteristics different types communication and identifying patterns and rules, adhering to which, each person will be able to enjoy success with their interlocutors and avoid difficulties in the dialogue process. The psychology of communication distinguishes three types of communication: friendly, intimate and business, but all these types of communication have one thing in common - in the process of communication, a person shares with the interlocutor not only information, but also feelings and emotional state.
One of the main rules of the psychology of communicating with people is that when communicating, not only speech is important - facial expressions, intonation, and the emotional coloring of what is said also carry an informational message. In interpersonal communication, people do not perceive dry facts, but a continuous flow of information transmitted both verbally and non-verbally. Therefore, we can conclude that the psychology of communicating with people is based precisely on sharing with the interlocutor not only some information, but also emotions.
Techniques to achieve success in communicating with people
In order to learn to better understand the interlocutor during the communication process, to be able to adapt to his emotional state and communication style, psychologists recommend honing your communication skills. For this purpose, you can use the following techniques:
1. Observation- observing your interlocutor, noting the peculiarities of his behavior, speech, clothing style, gestures, etc., you can draw certain conclusions about this person (about his field of activity, belonging to one or another social group etc.). Based on the conclusions made about the interlocutor, it is quite easy to choose the manner and style of communication in order to find " common language"with him.
2. Sharpening your communication skills- communicating with different people With both acquaintances and strangers, you can not only develop communication skills, but also overcome communication barriers. By entering into dialogue with strangers (asking the time, clarifying the route, talking with a random fellow traveler, etc.), a person can learn to intuitively adapt to the interlocutor.
4. The ability to “read” the emotions of your interlocutor and control your own emotions- since much of the information in communication is transmitted non-verbally, the ability to distinguish between the different emotions of interlocutors will be the key to understanding and effectively interacting with other people. As a rule, people with a developed ability for empathy are more successful in communicating with others, because in the process of dialogue they focus not only on the words of the interlocutor, but also on his emotions and state of mind.
Sincere recognition of the importance of the interlocutor and his achievements.
By studying the psychology of communicating with people, honing one’s own communication skills and the ability to empathize, everyone can learn to overcome barriers in communication and find an approach to the interlocutor. Undoubtedly, knowledge and ability to use in practice the rules and techniques of communication psychology will benefit each of us, because sociable people have much better chances in all areas of life.
No person can live without successful communication. For some this comes easily, for others with great difficulty. There are people with whom it is always pleasant to have a conversation, they are witty, cheerful and kind, but there are also taciturn people, people try to avoid such people in society. They are constantly bored alone and suffer greatly from this.
In our world of such people large number, but don’t be discouraged, communication can be learned, you just have to follow 9 rules and after a while you will always be the center of attention.
The main rules of successful communication for a person
1 Listen to people carefully
Many of us love to talk about ourselves, our problems and hobbies. When you listen carefully to your interlocutor and show him your respect and understanding, he feels it and his favor towards you grows. Even if you don’t say a word in a conversation, but show your interest with all your appearance, you will already be called a pleasant interlocutor.
2. Address the person you are talking to by name
As soon as you start communicating with a person, always call him as he introduced himself to you. Many people prefer to simply hear their name, and some prefer to hear their first and patronymic names. This shows that you listened carefully and are interested in communicating. By addressing a person by name, you seem to have a magical effect on him and subconsciously force him to listen and trust. Over time, this communication leads to closer relationships.
3. Respect communication boundaries
Every person has taboo topics, about which he can only talk with his close people. This could be family or financial matters, intimate relationships, so try not to touch them personally. Such questions can push a person away from you, because you begin to violate the boundaries of what is permitted.
4. Develop and learn something new
One of the nine rules of successful communication is self-development. When a person is well-read and familiar with many various directions It is interesting not only to talk to him, but also to listen to him. Even if you know only superficially about the topic that is being discussed, this will already be enough for you to maintain a conversation rather than stand silently.
5. Smile
Try to always smile, even when talking on the phone, the interlocutor feels it. When a person has a sweet smile on his lips, it’s pleasant to communicate with him, but when he has a sour face, then you want to avoid him. But remember, the smile must be sincere.
6. Don't skimp on compliments.
When communicating, do not skimp on good words to his friend. Compliments always make a person happy and endeared. Praise for achievements achieved and beginnings. But remember that compliments should be about true achievements, otherwise they can look like flattery, and no one likes that.
7. Be joyful and in a good mood
8. Don't get too clever
It’s great when you are well-read and educated, this is only a big plus for you. But during the conversation, keep the golden mean; if you see that your interlocutor is not very strong in this topic, then you should not emphasize his incompetence. Believe me, no one wants to look stupid in front of others. Therefore, be careful in your statements so as not to humiliate or offend a person.
9. Show interest
If you don’t know what to ask a person, then ask questions about his hobbies or hobbies. Ask about every detail; people love to talk about themselves and their lives. But do not forget to break the boundaries of what is permitted and praise for successes and achievements.
If you follow these rules of successful communication, then after a while you will not feel insecure and constrained among strangers. Practice your communication skills as often as possible; they will be useful to you both in the workplace and in your personal life.
Successful communication is necessary at work, at home for mutual understanding with friends. Many people think that communication is quite simple, why undergo special training, training, or read literature? At the same time, business people understand that proper communication is the path to success, concluding contracts, and career growth.
Ability to communicate, find an approach to people, common ground in important issues, arouse sympathy and influence decision-making, are necessary like air in modern world. The more friends and social circle, the more knowledge and opportunities a person has. The circle of friends determines the person himself, inner world, aspirations, achievements.
Important to know! Decreased vision leads to blindness!
To correct and restore vision without surgery, our readers use the increasingly popular ISRAELI OPTIVISION
- the best remedy, now available for only RUR 99!
Having carefully reviewed it, we decided to offer it to your attention...
How to learn to get acquainted with the right people, support good relationship, to be successful in communications? This article is devoted to these issues; we will consider the main issues and areas of communication:
- friendship and communication;
- family and mutual understanding;
- how to influence people, the basics of negotiations.
Friendship and rules of communication
Every person wants to have reliable and devoted friends nearby, to be loved, respected, and appreciated. How to win the recognition of friends and sympathy from others?
We offer basic rules for successful communication and meeting people:
- Maintain eye contact while communicating. This does not mean looking into the eyes all the time, periodically making eye contact, at the subconscious level, this speaks of openness and honesty, besides, glances to the sides indicate a lack of attention to the interlocutor, disrespect.
- Listen carefully to your interlocutor. A good interlocutor is not one who talks a lot, but who knows how to listen well, with understanding, responds with interested remarks, asks clarifying questions, and shows understanding, which is especially important when dating. It is important to treat feelings with understanding difficult situations in people's lives, to support friends and acquaintances.
- Be sincerely interested in the life and interests of your interlocutor. Successful communication involves first finding out information about the other person, rather than trying to impress with your achievements. This information It will be needed when the interlocutor begins to show interest in your life in return.
- Ask more open-ended questions. Suitable for obtaining information about the interlocutor open questions, which allow you to learn more about hobbies, areas of activity, life experience, points of contact, common interests.
- Be confident. By maintaining self-confidence, you signal to your interlocutor that you give the impression of reliability as a partner, a friend, and the person will be imbued with trust.
- Smile. Successful communication presupposes the ability to win over a person; a smile is a wonderful way and speaks of goodwill and openness. Naturally, it should be appropriate; it is better not to overuse it when discussing serious issues.
- Show a sense of humor in your communication, people are drawn to positivity. There is such a concept - “the soul of the company”; the main difference between such people is a positive attitude towards life, which attracts and gathers the company around. Dejection is not interesting to people, only those closest to you will understand problems and experiences, ordinary acquaintances should not talk about it. Remember the good things: achievements, interests, hobbies, trips.
- Treat people with love and respect. A person always needs a feeling of significance; it is necessary, like air and water, on a subconscious, instinctive level. Without receiving recognition, people engage in extortion - complain about life, relatives, friends. By showing respect, a person himself evokes sympathy and a response from his interlocutor.
- Be honest in your communications. Sincerity and honesty are always visible, in gestures, facial expressions, smiles, words. And they will notice the lie, and then they will feel embarrassed for their words. You shouldn’t embellish, “show off” - find your advantages, achievements that you can be proud of. Each person is unique and original; you need to remember and write down your merits first. Psychologists say: first love yourself, then other people will love and respect you. Write your advantages on paper, think, ask relatives and friends. It is important to understand the strengths and weaknesses personality. Strong ones add confidence, weak ones are a signal for self-development.
- Communicate in a friendly manner. Successful communication begins with an attitude towards conversation; you need to have a positive attitude towards the interlocutor, showing interest and respect. Goodwill is felt in intonations, gestures, and words. A good communicator usually loves people and communication, otherwise it is better to work with machines or go to a monastery, although even there communication cannot be avoided.
- Criticize less, notice more the good in a person. Interesting point— people don’t understand criticism; it usually causes a negative, defensive reaction. You need to very carefully convey mistakes to friends and subordinates, in the form of advice or recommendations. But any person is pleased to hear words of approval; it is worth noticing the good in relationships and people more often, smoothing out the negative, and looking for compromises.
- Support, compliment, appreciate your strengths. Each person is unique, has his own characteristics, talents, find, recognize, praise for achievements, it is always pleasant.
- Congratulations on the holidays, especially your birthday. Date of birth is very important for a person, now even at the level corporate culture calls from clients and congratulations on this day are provided, which increases loyalty to the company.
- When communicating, try to remember the name and use it in conversation. A person’s name is most pleasant to a person; if it’s difficult to remember, make a note, write it down in your phone or notebook, try to call it more often. This applies to meeting new people and working with people.
- Be attractive. Is it difficult to say unambiguously what attractiveness is? Not only appearance plays a role, there is also mood, attitude to life, inner strength, confidence. People can be very different and be attractive. You need to find your own characteristics that allow you to be attractive and use them in communication.
By following these rules, it will be easier to make new acquaintances, communicate with people, and maintain good relationships. You can learn more about the principles of communication from the book by D. Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” J. Spiegel “Flirting is the Path to Success.”
Family and rules of communication
Family is an important sphere of a person’s life; it constantly involves interpersonal relationships with spouses, children, and parents. Successful communication in the family is very important for building good friendly relationships, an atmosphere of mutual understanding and mutual assistance. Naturally, all people are different, have their own personal interests, how to combine them into common ones, move in the same direction, build strong family relationships?
Basic rules of family communication:
- Choosing the right partner for marriage. This question is purely individual. At the same time, psychologists agree that the general family values, worldviews, ideals, aspirations, interests unite the family and allow them to be stronger. There is also an opinion that opposites attract, this happens, but it has not been scientifically confirmed.
In most cases, a person is looking for someone like himself, although for an insecure woman it can be convenient to be married to a male leader and vice versa, there is already a question of dominance and decision-making in the family. There are also relationships of the “daughter-father”, mother-son type,” this refers to people who need care and support, they choose a spouse who is older in age.
The main thing is that it is easy to communicate with a person and that a trusting relationship is created. The opinions of others should not be decisive, only the person himself chooses a life partner and connects with him future life. The presence of sympathy and common values, of course, makes it easier life together. Passionate love is a separate issue; it is good, but it does not always tolerate the difficulties of everyday life without other common interests, goals, and the desire to create a strong family.
2. Role distribution in the family. It is important to immediately decide on the responsibilities in the family and the distribution of roles; there are 3 options: the husband is the head of the family, the wife is at the head, or joint decision-making on issues of the budget, raising children, and recreation. Typically this distribution depends on business qualities and security of spouses. IN lately More and more relationships are being built on democratic principles, everything can be discussed and a decision can be made.
3. Trust relationships. Often, especially women, there may be some negative feelings, something they don’t like in a relationship, but they keep silent, worry on their own, for fear of offending or losing a loved one. You need to learn to calmly discuss everything important points, even intimate things. Otherwise, the negativity will still make itself felt and will eventually turn into a conflict.
4. Psychological characteristics men and women. It is interesting that men and women have different attitudes towards the difficulties of life. Women love to discuss everything and give advice; men sometimes need to be alone and think for themselves. They need the support and faith of a woman in his strength, and girls need care and attention.
Women should not lecture or remake a man; show more trust and recognition of his merits. Praise is always pleasant, but criticism only harms relationships.
Men should treat their wife’s experiences with understanding, women can be emotional, there is no need to make excuses, just accept it, sympathize, and treat it with understanding.
You can study in more detail the differences between the psyches of men and women by reading the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray or other literature.
5. Building relationships with children. Successful communication with children requires special approaches. Children need attention from both mothers and fathers, especially boys in childhood and adolescence, being a model of behavior. Girls also need contact with their father: communication, games - this will help in the future when choosing a life partner and building harmonious relationships. With constant communication, it is fathers who become advisers on important issues - choosing a profession, personal problems.
The mother is the first person in the child’s life, provides his life, protection, and participates in the formation of attachments. The ability to love and connect with people depends on building relationships early in life.
Children who grew up in an atmosphere of understanding and support in childhood show care and love in the future. romantic relationships, and children who grew up in strict conditions do not trust the world, are suspicious, jealous. If children received little attention during their childhood and there was no support from their mother, then they have difficulty making contact and withdraw into themselves.
Important point- education does not occur spontaneously, but in the process of communication. Therefore, the parent’s behavior model is perceived by the child and absorbed from childhood. The child learns and understands the picture of the world through communication with his parents - he finds out who he is, what he is like, whether he is worthy of love and respect. It is important to find time to talk, play with your child, and be attentive to his questions and interests.
When communicating with children, it is important to avoid extremes—lisping and rudeness; you need to be attentive and friendly. Any contact with parents is a process of education; the child learns to understand the world and communicate with people. You need to communicate with a child from infancy, he perceives speech, intonation, and rather begins to communicate himself.
During adolescence, we must try to be understanding of the child’s closed nature, his thoughts, give advice when he asks, and help in the formation of interests. Everything should be in moderation, based on trust.
Successful communication with children is possible if you overcome the following barriers:
- employment- we are often busy with work, household chores, and the child feels lonely, does not feel cared for, this leads to delays in emotional development, alienation;
- age— we forget that the child has his own interests, understanding of life, experience. You need to try to get into his position, to remember yourself at that age;
- old stereotypes- the child grows, develops, matures, but it seems to the parents that he is still small and in need of care. Or maybe there are other needs?
- educational traditions— we often use methods familiar from childhood, out of habit, without considering current trends, opportunities for progress, new approaches, differences in children.
- dictatorship— constant strict control and teachings do not contribute to building good and trusting relationships. It is necessary to explain all actions, give the child freedom of action whenever possible, when the situation allows.
Of course, the main rule: respect, understanding of other people in the family, support; family is a support for a person; it is important to have good relationships with relatives, children, and between spouses. Joint sports, hiking, and work unite and strengthen the family. Let the children participate family life from childhood, helping parents, learning from life experience.