Feelings, mind, reason or consciousness - which of the “kings” is in your head? Write an essay on literature on the topic: Should a reasonable person live by feelings?

23.09.2019

To develop the ability to think, the ability to think logically and be objective, try to look at life without emotional and subjective filters - and you will see everything true before you. Used properly, the mind is a powerful tool that supports your soul on its path of evolution. It is the channel through which you see and interpret the world. Nothing feeds your intuitive awareness and... spiritual development, like a sharp, analytical, rational mind - one that carefully monitors everything, writes down everything exactly and measures out the necessary portions of information.

Problems arise when you confuse the objective mind with illogical or automatic conclusions, concepts and assumptions - or opinions gleaned from other people. This is a common mistake.

Observe and become aware of everything, including your feelings, but do not allow them to take over you. They are too intense, and in the heat of the feverish reaction everything loses its clarity. However, feelings cool down slowly, and it is very difficult to remain in such a state of ardor all the time. The physical body gets tired under pressure strong emotions and the amount of adrenaline they inject into him, so when you reach the point of satiety, you simply close off from them. While in this state, never try to resolve the situation or plan your actions. Your perceptions will be inaccurate, and access to your Higher Self will be blocked. - only then will you be able to see everything clearly and act intelligently and creatively.

You all have what are called “blind spots”—places where you are unable to see the bigger picture. These zones are the result of your upbringing, the influence of social conditions and even past lives. The lesson for your soul is to remove these mind barriers. Strive to see what is hidden from you. Where exactly does your mind become confused due to the inability or unwillingness to see the more global picture of phenomena as objectively and accurately as possible? What behavioral emotional reactions are blocking your access to Inner Wisdom? Think about these questions - and your Higher will tell you the answers.

Ignore the ego's point of view. It is too short-sighted, subjective and insecure, it is constantly defensive, justifying itself, condemning and criticizing others, angry and afraid of everything. Instead, look at life from the point of view of the Higher Self - it is always calm, objective, aimed at creativity and making reasonable decisions, does not judge anyone and loves everyone.

A poorly developed rational mind is often the result of inadequate vision - not only visual vision, although that also plays a role, but also insight and observation. Have you ever heard the proverb: “You only see what you want to see”? Whether you wear rose-colored glasses, filter out all unpleasantness, see the world as a glass half empty, or see only the dark, negative aspects of a situation, none of these ways of seeing provide an accurate picture of reality, and therefore you find yourself unable to change it.

Check your vision for clarity. If your vision is devoid of clarity and sharpness, then so is your mind. Focus on your observations so that your vision at all levels is unclouded and clear. The more objectively you perceive current conditions and the less bias you place into your own perceptions, the more ready you are to connect with your Higher Self, which will lead you to positive decisions and effective creative achievements.

One of my clients once recklessly accused his wife of cheating and demanded a divorce just because he saw her kissing another man in a restaurant. And it doesn’t matter that at that time she was sitting at home with the children. He refused to accept her categorical assurances that she was not cheating on him, preferring to believe his own eyes. The problem was that he was terribly nearsighted and, although he believed he saw his wife, in fact it was not her, but her younger sister. He admitted his mistake and apologized only three weeks later, when his wife’s sister came to visit them and introduced her fiance, who turned out to be the “other man.” It's funny, isn't it? Don't be fooled, though—things like this happen all the time.

Overly emotional reactions tie up your creativity. Don't let the poison of feelings poison yourself, don't let your feelings manipulate your perception. Ventilate, feel, express your impulses, listen to them, and then bring them into a calm state. Once they have calmed down, examine the situation again with a clear mind before deciding what action to take and in what direction.

Prejudices, blind spots, opinions and delusions of a closed mind cripple your ability to skillfully create what you want. The Divine Spirit hides nothing and condemns nothing. The mind, if skillfully engaged and properly tuned, becomes a bridge connecting what exists now with what you expect from the future.

Now you can put this lesson into practice.

If you are emotionally hot or too tearful and ready to shed tears for any reason; if you rarely remember precise details about people, places or events; if you take everything personally and wonder why the world is so cruel; if you are stuck in life collisions that follow one after another, and according to the same pattern; If your reactions are thoughtless, if you are in too much of a hurry and immediately take off, and are often prone to immature judgments and actions, then you are new to this lesson.
If you are endowed with the gift of high sensitivity towards people and phenomena and quickly close yourself off from them; if you are too vulnerable; if you are very reluctant to accept the views of other people; if you are in a hurry and begin to speak and act without thinking, as a result of which you often incorrectly assess the point of view of another person; If you keep a diary and don’t mind visiting a psychotherapist to better understand yourself, then you are a student.
If you never rush into making decisions and thoroughly study the situation from all sides before doing anything; if you call trusted friends and reliable advisers to help you understand the problem when clarity of thinking leaves you; if you pay close attention to people, places and objects and keenly notice all their details; if you give yourself the trouble to think before acting, and prefer to express your opinion only when you are calm; If you expect answers to any questions only after you have thoroughly studied this subject, then you are an apprentice.
If you are endowed with a photographic memory, if you do not glance at the surface, but are able to penetrate into the essence of things; if you refrain from drawing conclusions and making decisions before you have received all the necessary information, sorted it and comprehended it; if you have an open mind and always strive to learn more, especially in those areas of knowledge where you consider yourself to be quite knowledgeable; if you pray, meditate and wait for prompts and directions from your Higher Self, then you are on the path to mastery of this soul lesson.

If you are a beginner:

Slow down and calm down.

Before drawing conclusions, collect more information and ensure that its sources are objective and reliable.
Notice as many details as possible when you interact with people or go to new places.
When you feel overly emotional, take a deep breath, take a walk or shower, and relax.

If you are a student:

Join a support group to find like-minded people and gain new perspectives.
Open your mind and try to perceive not only your point of view, but also the point of view of other people.
Identify your blind spots by exploring recurring problems with the help of teachers, therapists, and open-minded Friends.
Check your vision, change your glasses and do exercises that train your eye muscles.
Try to notice new phenomena every day and when meeting familiar people or visiting familiar places, identify new details.

If you are an apprentice:

Ask your Higher Self to show you your blind spots and increase your awareness. Do physical and meditative exercises for a few minutes a day.
When you find yourself faced with life's collisions and changes, count to ten and take a deep breath and exhale, and do not immediately go into all serious troubles.
Ask questions, do research, or enroll in a school that can help you learn everything about a situation, recurring problem, or area of your creative interest.
Trust your life advisors, those who will listen to you and help you sort through all the collected information so that you can create the clearest and most accurate picture possible.
Once you have studied and systematized all the data, turn to your Higher Wisdom for a specific answer or solution.

If you are on the path to mastery and complete mastery of this lesson:

Read new books on old favorite topics.
When you enter into a dialogue with someone, carefully monitor the state of your head and heart and do not refuse additional information whenever your spirit offers it.
Take time to be alone, thinking, weighing and sorting what you have learned.
At the final stage, entrust absolutely all matters and problems to your Higher Self for making a final decision.

Soul Lesson:

Improve and clear your mind.

Soul Purpose:

By using Supreme Intelligence to see the presence of the True Spirit in all people, no matter what stage of development they are at.

based on materials from the book: Sonya Choket - “The Soul, Its Lessons and Purpose.”

A person prone togrievances tend to see offenders in everyone:

Resentment is a defensive reaction to negative events. It is designed to reduce emotional stress that can harm the brain and internal organs person...
Resentment tries to simplify our lives. Why understand the reasons for what is happening, isn’t it easier to be offended and it will make us feel better...
A strong person responds to insult with aggression, while a weak person, on the contrary, responds to aggression with insult...

An unresolved feeling of resentment will force us to look for offenders in order to remind us of our persistence:

Try to put yourself in the shoes of the offender and understand what reasons pushed him to cause you suffering.
If we expect something from people, but we don’t get what we expect, we get offended...

Resentment is said goodbye to tension with tears:

Tears color a person only after they have been cried...
Tears remove energy traces of stress and substances that generate these stresses from the body.
Sometimes, in order to forgive, you need to distance yourself from the source of the offense.

If we were offended for a long time, but forgave in one minute, then we are either very capable, or we are deceiving ourselves...

The more dear a person is to us, the more we offend him or are offended by him. The less a person means to us, the less resentment we have towards him. We are not at all offended by inanimate objects that cause us physical pain...
Objects can only bring us physical pain. People - physical and emotional. But if an inanimate object causes us emotional pain, such as if we trip on a step or hit a branch, will we be angry at those objects? If yes, then you should take care of your mental health.

A person should cry not from resentment, but from the fact that this resentment has such great power over him that it can make him cry...

An exercise to neutralize the emotions of resentment and anger.

Trust the paper. Pour out all your pain from resentment and anger onto her. Write everything that comes to mind, any thoughts and emotions, don’t think or reason. Then burn this sheet.

If we have guilt for negative actions committed in the past and the belief that we have not yet suffered for them, changes are impossible until we deal with this feeling...

Don't look for someone to blame. If you yourself are not to blame, neither is the other person to blame.

The emotion of respect is important for a woman, and self-esteem for a man.

While inposition of a victim, a person even asks for approval for his own life.

If we have the conviction that in this world we are owed everything: God, the universe, those around us, and we deserve more. And if this does not happen, we fall into the position of a victim. Feelings of resentment, anger, envy and disappointment arise...
Being in the position of a victim, a person does everything possible so that they do not get angry with him, but all these attempts cause exactly the opposite effect.
Resentment towards yourself and everyone is a basic and constant feeling that is present and makes life unbearable. It leads to loss of vital energy.
A person who is in the position of a victim, on a subconscious level, may have so-called secondary benefit from this state, which is expressed in the following:
- Prove to yourself and others that life is unfair and any problem is proof of this.
- Fear of doing something, making a mistake and then beating yourself up for it. Therefore, it is better to do nothing than to make a mistake.
- Attract the attention of others.
- Revenge on a specific person for something. Sometimes this is done on a conscious level, sometimes on an unconscious level.
- Revenge on oneself for being unworthy of a good life and unable to achieve it.
- AND the desire to remain in the “child’s position.”

Remembering grievances in the past will not solve the problem in the present.

Fears from the past attract doubts from the future:

Fear is ignorance and misunderstanding of the laws of the universe...
Fear of death is one of the most important reasons hindering human development...
Irrational fear is when a person is afraid not of what he knows, but of what he does not know, but which could happen. And this unknown scares us the most.
You need to learn to transform fear into slight excitement. Excitement will give you the necessary energy and adrenaline to perform specific actions and make decisions...
Fear is the parent of anger, anxiety, dissatisfaction, irritation and greed.
In the course of life, 90% of events associated with our fears and anxieties are groundless. And only 10% have a real basis. Consequently, we often waste our energy on events that may never happen...
Fear is a habit of consciousness that has become stronger in us as a result of negative events that happened in the past...
If we are afraid of a person because of our complexes and prejudices, we transfer to him part of our negative energy, which can provoke him to take a negative action towards us. This process is uncontrollable and occurs regardless of our desire and understanding...

We don’t like that energy is colorless, and we always try to color it with our emotions...

If we do not want to communicate with a person so as not to inform him of trouble, this indicates that we have a certain complex and we are only strengthening it with this decision.
It is known that trouble does not come alone. The same is true for fears.

The fear of poverty attracts the fear of losing a job, the fear of losing a job attracts the fear of illness, the fear of illness attracts the fear of hopelessness, the fear of hopelessness attracts the fear of death...

By getting rid of fear, we get rid of many other negative emotions. You can get rid of fear in two ways: the first is psychotherapeutic, the second is spiritual.

An exercise to overcome fears of clients.

Try to stage the situation. Several employees choose negative emotions and character traits characteristic of “harmful clients.” Then, for some time, they attack the person with questions, claims, and emotions. If he is able to withstand at least 15 minutes of continuous assault, his fear of truly “harmful clients” may disappear. And most often he will no longer come across such clients in the future, since we attract what we are afraid of.

Aggression is a reaction to a stressful situation caused by the instinct of self-preservation:

Aggression is inherent in each of us. It is not a constant value. Aggression depends on the events occurring in our lives and our reaction to them.

Equality breeds envy; inequality breeds aggression...

Aggression arose in ancient times, as a defensive reaction to a possible threat. Emotions precede intellect in the face of a possible threat. Only then does consciousness turn on and analyze the situation. And if there is no danger, emotions are reduced to a normal background. IN modern conditions, when all this is no longer so relevant, but the sequence of reactions to the stimulus remains the same. Our emotions, if they are beyond our control due to constant stress, continue to be present even after our consciousness determines that the situation is absolutely safe.

To make the truth offensive, it is enough to tell this truth to a person who is not ready to hear it...

Aggression leads to conflicts. She is dangerous due to her increased energy and ability to infect others...
Aggressiveness appears in teams under competitive conditions...
Crisis and conflicts are a signal that something is wrong and it’s time to reconsider your views and draw conclusions. Perhaps it's time to change.

A man’s anger comes from a lack of confidence, a woman’s anger comes from a lack of attention...

He who does not know how to be offended does not know how to be angry...
Resentment and anger are considered the same feeling with the only difference being that anger is directed outward, and resentment is directed inward.

Categorical, from “desirable and preferable” - makes “necessary and obligatory”...The recommendation to throw out your anger and calm down only partially works. You need to learn how to manage anger, otherwise venting anger will become a habit. As often happens, we stop noticing the habit and become unbearable to others. By doing this we destroy the energy of relationships.

An angry woman becomes a man...

To relieve anger or irritation, we usually work not with ourselves, but with the cause of the anger. But according to the laws of nature, this anger will return to us again and again in different guises, until we deal with it inside us or until the anger deals with us.

Nobody likes to be put under pressure, even emotions hide in the subconscious when they try to suppress them...

Outbursts of anger narrow the field of the mind, reduce visual acuity and hearing threshold. But the most important thing is that it reduces the status of a person as a person...

An impossible dream will not create the desire to fulfill it. And if it does cause it, treat yourEGO…

To be offended, you need not a reason, but an internal readiness to be offended...

The false ego identifies itself with the body.

If you want to never make mistakes in anything, turn on your egoism. In case of success, he will immediately explain the reason for success, in case of failure, the reason for failure and you, regardless of the result, will always be right.

Helping a person from the position of the ego is not help; it can be anything, but not help.

A proud person cannot develop. Why develop if he already has something to be proud of...

For every offensive remark, your opponent will find the same one, only more offensive...
A proud person often views all the events that happen around him through the prism of their influence on him, although in fact, all these events may have nothing to do with him...
Recognizing oneself as one of many is acceptance, recognizing oneself as chosen from many is pride...
A proud person, denying problems, relies on the nature of his pride, which, however, does not make these problems less significant for him. They will not disappear from his life on their own...
Defending itself so as not to be wounded, pride as a shield will always put in front of itself the resentment, pain, claims that a person who considers himself proud will experience...

Exercise. Find out whether you are a proud person or not. First, offer a certain amount of money to a passerby on the street. Then ask another random passerby to give you money. If you manage to give money, but fail to ask, you are a proud person.

Knowledge acquired in a state of pride is proud of the information it contains...

Pride is neutralized by humilitym.

Humility is the accumulated energy that maintains the integrity of a person...

Humility is a strength, not a weakness.
True humility is determined by internal processes. False - external.

Pride solves problems, humility will solve...

Humility - highest form dignity.
Serve each other, and together serve others...
Humility is accepting the situation and people in peace.

Reconciliation is achieved through humility...

Greed is a feeling that arises from a lack of understanding of the fact that there is enough for everyone in this world...

Greed is one of the most negative traits men…
A greedy person will not even give up his misfortunes...

If a person envy has not been eliminated, but we are trying to cause it through our actions, then this can be considered a latent form of bullying...

A person who is distressed by other people's successes is not necessarily envious. It is quite likely that he is a neurotic with high self-esteem, and this can be treated...

As long as we envy, we will never become like those we envy...

Lying is telling a person what you yourself consider to be untrue. Misconception is telling a person what you think is true, but in fact is not true...

Lies can be conscious or unconscious.
When deception occurs, there is a disruption in the energy circulating along the meridians. However, the same thing happens with other negative actions and processes.

It’s easy to deceive, but it’s more difficult to understand that if you deceive another, you’ll deceive yourself...

Pity is like an acid that can corrode relationships...

Pity is a product of the ego. Compassion is a gift of the heart.

Stubbornness brings a man closer to his goal, but pushes a woman further away...

You can achieve a lot with stubbornness. The most important thing is to be able to control this feeling so that it does not become “dull.”
If a man combines stubbornness with the ability to go towards his goal, he can achieve great heights.
Stubbornness has an unfeminine face.

Uncertainty is not dangerous until it is formed in the form of a statement: “I won’t be able to do this,” “I won’t be able to do this.” Uncertainty translates the meaning inherent in these phrases into reality with the help of the subconscious...

One of the most dangerous vices is revenge…

Revenge can be everyday, deliberate, symbolic and pedagogical:

Domestic revenge - if you were offended, you can break something, not talk, or, on the contrary, quarrel with the offender.
Deliberate revenge - carefully thought out, involving punishment for crimes committed or misdemeanors. Deliberate revenge is characteristic of vengeful, aggressive people who have negative energy - always angry and dissatisfied. The extreme form is “blood feud.”
Symbolic revenge - or in other words, psychological revenge - is characterized by the fact that innocent people suffer for the insults once inflicted on us. Whom we choose in life and make them substitutes for the offenders who once inflicted psychological trauma on us. Although we may not remember this, on a subconscious level, the resentment is fixed and continues to feed our emotions. The danger of symbolic revenge lies in the fact that we are trying to take revenge and hurt the person more than we ourselves suffered and, in accordance with the law of cause-and-effect relationships (karma), ultimately, revenge will return to us again in the form of the energy of suffering. This energy will teach us, destroying our physical and mental essence.
Pedagogical revenge - in small doses, is even useful. More precisely, this is not even revenge, but justified and deliberate retribution for committed offenses in order to fix them in a person’s mind, so that in the future he will draw certain conclusions from this.

Depression is a persistent negative association that is overshadowed by memories...

When reacting to stress, a woman needs to talk and needs communication. A man needs to be quiet and needs privacy. And accordingly, stress is relieved in women through emotional speaking, and in men through detached thinking.

A woman's emotion has higher speed than the logic of a man...

If a stressful situation arises, it is necessary to accept it, not resist or ignore it, but recognize that it exists, whether we like it or not. In case of non-acceptance, internal process called “chewing” (multiple scrolling of the situation in the mind), which is associated with a large loss of vital energy.
One of the signs of approaching stress is the feeling that everything is spinning out of control.
A person under stress loses his energy field and begins to feed off of those around him. Becomes a so-called “energy vampire”. Therefore, next to a person who is in depressed state, you feel uncomfortable and want to quickly leave the place where he is.

God gave us bright colors emotions so that we color our lives, but we mostly use only black and gray colors...

To manage feelings, you need to become aware of them.
If a person does not restrain negative emotions, he harms others, if he restrains them, he harms himself. The only way out in this situation is to understand the reasons that cause these emotions on a subconscious level and remove them.

Exercise:

The first stage: learn to evoke emotion. In the beginning, you just feel it, and your task is to shortest time, in a split second, bring it from zero to the maximum value.
Second stage: learn to hold it at the maximum value for a long time without failures or hesitations.
Stage three: you need to learn to get out of your emotional state. As a rule, this is more difficult to do than to enter it. You need to get out of this state completely.

After some practice, you will be able to use all the skills of managing emotions. If it occurs, you will be able to manage it, reduce its intensity, or not show it at all.

If we work with negative emotion, but we can’t reproduce it, most likely we have already solved the problem with this emotion...

In life, a person makes choices guided by the promptings of feelings. There is a disease in which some sensory functions are impaired. And if this person is asked to choose one of two objects, at his discretion, then this confuses him and he is unable to make this choice.

Unexpected emotions are just waiting for a person to be left alone to immediately join him in company...

Now let’s pay attention to the question of what exactly this condition gives us and why.

Navigation for the article “Here and now: what will we get if we live by feelings?”

What does the “Here and Now” state give us?

Firstly

Being “here and now” will give you the effectiveness of your reactions and actions. We have already said that it is impossible to predict everything 100%. How then to react to something that was not part of the plan, that did not go as you expected? If you are still in your own mind, ideas, fantasies, any deviation from the plan will plunge you into a stupor and generally slow down any action.

“I get lost when something goes “wrong”, I am speechless, I don’t know what to do, and often I just stand in silence, trying to collect my thoughts, and realizing that I look stupider every second... »

If you are in here and now, you easily feel what you want at the moment. And you can easily express your feelings about what is happening and act in accordance with your natural reactions. And, accordingly, if you are in contact with yourself, there will be no stupor or clouding of reason.

Many people are afraid that their reaction will be “inappropriate” or “wrong.” At sessions, hearing this, I always ask – wrong for what?

What kind of standards correct behavior are you following? Are you sure these standards are appropriate for this particular case? Why do you put standards above your feelings and your goals? Who told you and when? live by feelings– inadequate?

Naturally, we are forced to respect social boundaries, but they are quite simple in general.

Read the Code of Administrative Offenses - it does not involve many restrictions. Everything else is your own speculation about whether this particular group of people will consider you “normal.”

The most important thing here is that if you constantly think hard about how to react “correctly” in any society, then you will only increase your chances of a negative assessment. Because it’s hard to deal with a squeezed, tense, dejected and frightened person in any society.

Even if you try to hide your tension, no one has deprived those around you of their original ability to feel. And therefore, albeit unconsciously, any person next to you is able to grasp your true mood here and now.

Remember the example of cracking eggs. This applies to everything you do - work, sports, sex, household chores, creative expression, communication. If one part of you is here, the other is thinking about who will think what and how this or that might turn out, and the third is generally thinking about tomorrow’s meeting at work, it is unlikely that any of these actions will be quite effective.

Moreover, what is done in “autopilot” mode is poorly remembered. Even if this action does not require attention or special skill, you will then have difficulty remembering in detail what exactly you did and where, for example, you put this or that thing. Sometimes this kind of everyday absent-mindedness becomes an endless source of irritation and loss of time.

Secondly

By being “Here and Now” you will reduce the likelihood that it will be the same as before. When you are in your assumptions, your consciousness filters new possibilities, that is, it “does not notice” them. Look again at the scheme for reproducing the old experience.

If you don't expect anything specific, but actively notice everything that happens in here and now, you begin to see new possibilities and live with new feelings. And react in a new way. And accordingly, you gain new experience. Which is often much better than the old one.

Most people try to do a lot “ahead of the curve”, based on old experience, other people’s experience, negative expectations and other “suddenly”. Let me give you an example, so to speak, from real life.

The girl tries “just in case” (because she already had such a negative experience) to provide for all the options for the situation “my partner might cheat on me.”

To do this, the following actions are taken: the purposeful survival of friends of the opposite sex from the partner’s environment is carried out, his mail is checked, social media, telephone (depending on what is more accessible).

Restless and unnecessary body movements occur, for example, calling for no reason (because this is the fifth time in a day, and it’s difficult to come up with a reason), attempts to constantly “be there”, dictated by the fear of leaving him alone, coming up with some, in the girl’s opinion, “ inflammatory" situations (for example, provocations to jealousy on her part, which most often degenerates into banal hassle), etc.

All this is designed to help avoid betrayal.

But in reality, the opposite result is achieved - the partner feels extremely limited, gets tired of the constant control and presence of another person, cannot relax, be alone with himself or communicate with friends the way he wants, is constantly forced to delve into provocations and waste his emotions for various “checks”. The result is that he leaves.

And now a simple question - where, in what reality did that girl live? Anywhere except today.

Partially - in the past, where she had negative experiences. Partially - in the future, about which she was visited only by fears and dark fantasies.

All this had nothing to do with reality, with being “here and now.” And it didn’t work out to live with real feelings for my partner. And sometimes you have to assume that they never existed. After all, what kind of love can we talk about if one does not feel any trust in the other?

If we’re talking about how to draw conclusions from the past, then first find out why there was betrayal in the relationship and how the responsibility of each of the participants was realized in that situation.

Only by realizing the extent of your responsibility (and not just the “guilt” of your partner) can you really draw conclusions. And the most reliable guarantee that the likelihood of betrayal will at least decrease can only be an understanding of what actions in the couple led to this. The actions of both, I emphasize.

But in the reality of that girl it was possible to rely on the facts of today. And if there were no obvious signs of ambiguity, then in this particular relationship there was no reason to suspect infidelity. And perhaps the relationship would have developed in a different way.

Thirdly

Being “here and now” you will be able to fully contact reality and learn a lot of new things about it. For example, you can spend weeks wondering “what he meant when he looked at me like that.”

If you, having caught the eye, immediately went into fantasies and assumptions, you flew into that very abstract plane, where there are a billion assumptions, theories, “on the one hand” and “on the other hand,” but not an ounce of truth about this reality.

If you continue to remain in here and now, you can hear your own feelings. And they will deepen and develop in contact with the reality of this view.

Perhaps you will immediately feel what is behind it. Perhaps here and now you will feel growing bewilderment, but it is this that will allow you to immediately ask what is behind the look. This way your interlocutor will understand that you feel him. And your contact at this level will continue to deepen - this is the skill live by feelings.

And if you go into the plane of abstractions, you will not be able to understand your feelings and will not have time to react. And you will be left day after day chewing on assumptions about what it could be, without getting one iota closer to reality.

Living with feelings: do they tell the truth?

I propose to conduct a simple experiment here and now. First at the level of sensations.

Run your hand over any surface and tell me what it is like? For example, soft, warm, fleecy. Do you have any doubts that this is really the case? Hardly. Your fingers transmit a very specific signal to your consciousness.

If someone comes and tells you that your warm and soft surface is actually cold, slippery and smooth - will you believe him? If, again, you don’t go into any abstractions, no. Perhaps you allow a person to have distortions in perception or a different perception - say, his fingers are hot and therefore the surface temperature really seems cooler to him than to you.

But there is no overall, “objective” truth in any relationship or in your life. Objective truth, if you can call it that, exists only at the level of the basic laws of nature and objects of the material world.

And sensations are the primary way through which we can learn something about the world. But for each person they are different to one degree or another. And there is no single standard of sensations for everyone. And, accordingly, the conclusions and conclusions drawn on their basis will differ even more for each person than the sensations themselves.

You have your “like” or “dislike”, and what you feel is your reality, which you can rely on. Here and now she is like that. Even if you decide that it is better not to express feelings in this situation, this is your right. But you can notice them. And draw the appropriate conclusions within yourself. Which will be your today's truth about your condition and the state of affairs around you.

To begin with, in any situation, try to pay attention to bodily sensations. Are you comfortable? Do you feel any tension? What do you think is its source? Where exactly is this sensation located in your body? What would you like to do with it?

This practice of listening to yourself may seem overwhelming at first. But over time, you will become much faster at determining what is happening to you at the moment. And this knowledge about yourself will become so obvious over time that for you there will no longer be a question - can what I feel be considered true and is it possible to live by feelings?

Moreover, your sensations will become more vivid. Remember all the most powerful moments of your life. What are they connected to? With feelings. Even if the event was related to receiving important information– she evoked feelings.

And “thinking” and fantasies in the same circle only cause regrets about wasted time and the fact that fantasies have not yet been given the chance to become reality. But how can something become a reality if you don’t actually try to do it, but just think about it in your head?

Living with feelings is living in reality

I often hear the following statement: “What difference does it make whether the brain receives stimulation from fantasy or reality? After all, the sensations can be the same!”

Imagine, for example, how here and now you are waving your arms. Imagine this for 2-3 minutes. Are you tired? Do you feel a pleasant stretch in your muscles? Has your heart rate increased? Is the tension gone?

Now try waving your arms in reality for the same 2-3 minutes. Even if in the first case you had a certain increase in heart rate, a certain semblance of tension and relaxation, the contrast with reality will still be striking.

Yes, we can create emotions through fantasies and imaginations. And this mechanism itself helps a person, for example, to “get excited” about an idea, and then begin to implement it. But for some reason, most people do not enjoy living solely in their fantasies.

And here everything is simple - while we live in our body, we somehow form a common whole with it. The mind, feelings and body are all our reality, and separating one from the other and the third is fraught with at least a loss of the acuity of sensations and general dissatisfaction.

In a state of here and now, we are usually collected. At least in to a greater extent than usual. We feel our body, we are aware of our feelings, which are directly related to our sensations, and the mind is ready for analytical work if necessary.

It’s unlikely that you want to experience love without physical contact, a trip to the sea only on TV, communication with friends only through text on the Internet, and playing sports only through photographs. Can you live in books all the time? And will such a life suit you?

The majority unequivocally says “no.”

But when it comes to saying goodbye to their beliefs and judgments about the world, albeit based on experience, but preventing further progress, and admit that the present may differ from the past - the majority, however, choose to continue to exist “in their heads.” ”, missing over and over again new opportunities to live with feelings in reality.

And he waves his arms solely in his imagination, hoping that such an action will help strengthen his arm muscles.

Statistics - the new religion

Separately, this phenomenon “helps” a person never come to his senses. Statistics was intended, in fact, to examine trends in order to change something or draw conclusions. However, for some reason the majority perceive it as a new form of doctrine.

The entire Internet is filled with jokes about British scientists, however, joking about the notorious figure of speech, many continue to sincerely believe that they are determined by statistics.

Here’s a paradox: statistics has always been a study of the existing state of affairs. As in economics, demand initially gave rise to supply. And then it happened that supply began to shape demand. And statistics began to dictate to many how they should behave and what would happen to them.

I just don’t hear any statements based on this new form religions:

- I won’t be able to get married, because according to statistics there are fewer men than women by so many percent, and according to the same statistics, at the age of 30, most of them are married...

- I won’t find a good job for myself, because according to statistics, specialists of my profile are in demand only in such and such a segment, and it only makes up so many percent of the total number of places, and in another, according to market research, slightly different qualities of applicants are needed, which I don't have...

- I will not be able to improve my health, because for the majority, according to statistics and the opinion of doctors, this disease is incurable...

What does all this have to do with you? Why did you classify yourself as part of some faceless group of people? Who collected these statistics? Does it accurately reflect the real state of affairs? And even if it does reflect it, it was there and then, but here and now you yourself can create new statistical trends.

Statistics don't say anything. She doesn't predict. It only explores existing trends. And she cannot predict for you personally, in your specific life, whether you will get married, whether you will improve your health, or whether you will find a job.

Interestingly, according to the same statistics, alcohol consumption per capita in Russia is growing catastrophically, while alcoholism is becoming younger, and mortality from it is increasing.

But for some reason, crowds of people who believe in statistics refuse alcohol, and every Friday, or even more often, they go to “drink the norm.” But for some reason this part of the statistics is ignored. Apparently, I don’t want to believe in her. But then why believe in other gloomy forecasts?

The point, of course, is that faith in statistics is sometimes poorly understood resistance. A person may have his own set of fears (dealing with health, getting married, or looking for a job), but he does not have enough knowledge or determination to isolate these fears and start working with them.

And then the following “excuse” is unconsciously chosen - “there are statistics!”, which, in fact, only justifies the lack of action to improve the situation.

But the simplest action that could be taken right here and now is to refuse to measure yourself by other people's standards. Yes, something happened to someone somewhere. And to be completely blind to what is happening around is unwise.

But what do you have to lose if you start looking for a husband, regardless of the statistics? What if you started trying the health systems available to you, despite what “most people think”? What if you go through interviews trying to find something you like, despite the fact that “British scientists”...?

And if you are afraid of losing time and acting without guarantees, then what are you spending your time on now, today? Perhaps if you start living with feelings, they will tell you how unsatisfactory your reality is for you. But perhaps this feeling will be the impetus for you to start doing something?

Model: personal.

Goals and objectives of the lesson:

“Dive” into the amazing writer's world, “getting used to” the world created by the author, becoming familiar with the “secrets” of the author’s skill;
Comprehension moral problems works;
Upbringing moral qualities personality, familiarization with universal spiritual values;
Formation of the ability to distinguish between the point of view of the author and the characters; express one’s own position, the ability to conduct dialogue;
Analysis literary text;
Consolidation literary terms;
Development of imagination, emotional and aesthetic sphere. Mastery of speech as a means of transmitting thoughts, feelings, content inner world person;
Creating a special lesson in the lesson warm atmosphere human communication, the means of which is literature as the art of words.

Equipment: tape recorder (music by F. Chopin “Waltz”, Beethoven “Fur Elise” is played in the lesson)

Design: portraits of the writer, drawings, statements, diagrams

Epigraphs:

Read this beauty. This is where you learn to live. You see different views on life, on love, with which you may not agree with any of them, but your own becomes smarter and clearer.

L.N. Tolstoy about the novel by I.A. Goncharova “ An ordinary story”

Take it with you on the journey, leaving the soft teenage years into stern, embittering courage, take with you all human movements, do not leave them on the road, do not pick them up later!

N.V. Gogol

Feelings don't lie. I. Goethe

Lesson progress

Music sounds (F. Chopin “Waltz”).

The student appears in the role of Alexander Aduev.

“Life... Life is so good, so full of charm, something mysterious, tempting, hiding so much within itself.

But was I really mistaken both in my cherished thoughts and in my warm beliefs in love, in friendship, and in people... and in myself? What is life? How to live – by feeling or by reason?”

Teacher's word: Today we will turn to the work of I.A. Goncharov “Ordinary History”, written in 1847. We will not only get to know each other and try to analyze this work, but we will also try, each for ourselves, to answer the question that so tormented the main character of the novel: How to live - by feeling or by reason?

In the creative heritage of I.A. Goncharov’s novels “Ordinary History”, “Oblomov”, “Cliff” occupy the most important place. The writer saw them as a kind of trilogy.

In your opinion, what unites all three of Goncharov’s novels?

“I see not three novels, but one. They are all connected by one common thread, one consistent idea - the transition from one era of Russian life, which I experienced, to another.” I.A. Goncharov.
The antithesis of the “idealist hero” and the “practical hero” in its various variations will become the leading one for Goncharov’s novel world.
The writer showed representatives of the patriarchal and bourgeois structures (referring to the diagram).
General theme of all novels - Russia at the turn of two historical eras: patriarchal-serfdom and post-reform bourgeois.

Teacher: L.N. Tolstoy advised his contemporaries: “Read this beauty. This is where you learn to live. You see different views on life, on love, with which you may not agree with any of them, but your own becomes smarter and clearer.”

I hope Tolstoy’s advice will be useful to us too.

Belinsky, the frantic Vissarion, considered this novel “a terrible blow to romanticism, dreaminess, sentimentalism, and provincialism.”

What is your opinion about the novel?

The author gives an objective description of the picture of Russian life in a small village estate and in St. Petersburg in the 40s of the 19th century.
The dialogues between uncle and nephew are brilliantly written. The uncle confidently breaks his nephew.
This is the story of how a sweet provincial village youth turns into a practical man. A naive, pure provincial idealist becomes a monster.
I liked the image of Lisa. And, in my opinion, Lisa is right, I think that the norm is the heart in harmony with the mind.
I find the plot and composition to be very simple. Consists of 2 parts with an epilogue. Main character, a young man Alexander Aduev, who lived an idyllic life under the wing of his mother Anna Pavlovna, decides to leave his native estate of Grachi. But all his dreams are shattered in the soulless atmosphere of St. Petersburg, where one skill is required of a person - “to love his work more than the person, to calculate and think about everything.”
In my opinion, the plot contains an “eternal grain” - a biblical motif about the prodigal son.
I believe that main topic works are the theme of love. It helps to understand the character of the main character. Each of the heroines (Sonya, Nadenka, Yulia, Liza) is presented in the perception of Alexander, and when the hero’s views on love change, his understanding of the role of women in society also changes. Unfortunately, not a trace remains of the romantic chanting.

What is the main content of the novel?

The dramatic content of the novel is the relationship between the two main characters: nephew and uncle.
A kind of duel takes place between them for the right to live life according to their ideals. Each of the heroes tries to defend their life principles, going to extremes.
But the uncle and nephew have exactly the opposite ideals.
The basis of the composition is antithesis.
And at the center of the novel is the conflict between two “philosophies of life”: the philosophy of feeling and the philosophy of reason. The first is represented by the romantic of life - Alexander Aduev, the second - by a businessman, a practical person - Pyotr Aduev.

Teacher: The conflict in “Ordinary History” is usually called dialogic. It is generated by the dissimilarity of life philosophy. For Goncharov, the search for harmony is important. So, a young man, full of high and noble, spiritual impulses.

Who does this literary piece remind you of? hero?

The image of Aduev is often correlated with the image of Lensky, the hero of the novel “Eugene Onegin”. Pushkin, as we know, admitted that his hero could be “hanged like Ryleev,” but another destiny could await him: degeneration from an ardent dreamer into an ordinary landowner.

Teacher: This idea of the poet was developed by V.G. Belinsky, who was sure that the latter would undoubtedly await Lensky. Goncharov, in fact, showed a similar version of rebirth, outlined by Pushkin.

Let's see what our heroes argue about and how they are presented at the beginning of the novel: Re-enactment (A. Aduev’s arrival to his uncle, first meeting)

Whose side are you on: your uncle's or your nephew's?

What does Alexander believe in, what is he convinced of? What are his values?

What do you think of your uncle's behavior? Is being a business person the dictate of the century? What: 19, 20, 21?

(Comparison of heroes, filling out the table - Appendix 1)

Did Alexander change immediately?

He accepted the truth of St. Petersburg only after 10 years of living there.
The hero goes through the natural stages of growing up.
Disappointments haunt him not only in love, but also in creativity and service. In despair, he reaches the point of attempting suicide.
He even leaves St. Petersburg to visit his mother on the estate. But the “late” life seemed boring, he returns to the capital only for his career. A new Aduev appears, bald, with an order on his neck, and plumper. He is a major official and the owner of a large fortune.
From a romantic, Alexander turned into a skeptic, a cynic, an egoist, disappointed in life and love. This is an active practitioner for whom everything is determined by calculation.
For himself, he discovers ordinary and terrible truths: you have to be a businessman. Being a person means deeds and calculations, and the measure of values is money.

Who is to blame for the collapse of Alexander's lofty hopes?

Bureaucratic Petersburg.
Cynical skeptic uncle.
A calculating, cruel age.
It's just that the human heart has become different.

Is the epilogue unexpected or natural for you?

The end of the novel is natural: Schiller’s former admirer has “a bald patch, a respectable belly, the beginnings of hemorrhoids, an excellent salary and a rich bride.”
There is no trace of Alexander’s former ideals; he is even ashamed of them.

Do you think the romantic type is outdated?

Yes, although Aduev’s romanticism, his belief in love “forever” and friendship “to the grave of life” is not a deep outline. But what is funny and bad about them? Nothing, and even vice versa. C true human point sight, these feelings are normal, necessary, and even Aduev himself has been protected from vulgarity for several years.
But vulgarity wins. The delights of love and the rapture of friendship are simply indecent for a court councilor and gentleman.

Dramatization: epilogue scene

Why in the epilogue of the novel by I.A. Goncharov portrayed Aduev, the eldest, unhappy, suffering?

For you last scene hugs of heroes - is this a symbol of reconciliation between generations and eras?

Why “Ordinary History”? What is she common in?

What idea does it lead the reader to? Whose side is the author on?

The author shows the one-sidedness of the characters’ positions, convincing readers of the need for harmony of “mind” and “heart”
The writer leads the reader to the idea of equivalence in human life and intelligence and ardor of heart.
The characters have changed not only in appearance, a metamorphosis has occurred, they change places. The impressionable young dreamer has gone into the past, now he is a successful man, and at the end of the novel, Pyotr Ivanovich, in order to save his wife, needed more heart and feeling than “head”.
Professing the philosophy of a sober businessman, the elder Aduev left all this in the past as unnecessary.
Works relevant at all times

Teacher: The writer does not pass judgment on any of his heroes; Goncharov never looked like an accuser. Yes, empty dreaminess is naive, but businesslike, calculating pragmatism is scary. Goncharov is sad about the story told, and asks, like Gogol once, not to forget the wonderful movements of the soul, which are especially characteristic of a person in his youth.

“Take it with you on the journey, emerging from the soft years of youth into stern, embittered courage, take with you all human movements, do not leave them on the road, do not pick them up later!”

How to live - by feeling or by reason? There is no direct answer to this question. The reader himself seeks answers to the questions that life poses to him...

Literature

Great Russians / Biographical Library of F. Pavlenkov. – M.: “Olma – press”, 2003. – p. 407.
Russian literature XIX century. Grade 10: Textbook for schools and classes in the humanities: - Part 1. – M., Moscow Lyceum, 2003. – 139 – 145 p.
Yu.A. Gaetsky Million torments: The Tale of Goncharov. – M.: Det. lit., 1979. – 61-81 p.

Let's talk about emotions. About feelings. About how to live in general - based on reason or feelings? Which is better? Which is “more correct”?

Our feelings and mind are not always in harmony. Let's say you came back from a date. You really liked the young man. The next day, already in the morning, you are waiting for his call (or at least an SMS - it doesn’t matter). But he doesn't call. And your heart is beating and beating: call him yourself, call him. And the mind - don’t you dare! Girls don't call first! Who should you listen to here – your heart or your head?
Or let’s take, for example, a wife who is infuriated by the fact that her husband consistently does not close the tube of toothpaste (throws socks around, is late, splashes the bathroom floor, does not fulfill promises, substitutes his own). And her irritation flares up in response to another tube, sock, etc. She starts yelling at her husband. Why so many emotions? And what is her irritation about?
Let's figure it out.

Very often you hear: live with your heart! Living with your heart means living with your emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are different things, did you know? Emotions are short-lived, simple and uniquely colored. Basic emotions are joy, sadness, anger, disgust, contempt, fear, shame, surprise, interest, grief, guilt.
Feelings are longer, more persistent and complex emotional states. But the most important thing is that feelings are very contradictory and ambivalent in nature. Well, for example, Love. She brings happiness. And she also brings suffering. Or envy: can eat a person from the inside, or can activate and motivate him to take action.
From this we can conclude that living with feelings is difficult. Since feelings are contradictory and ambiguously colored, it is not easy, relying on them, to act consistently and not be tormented by doubts. And have you noticed that people whose lives are controlled by emotions are very impulsive (that is, they act in obedience to the first inner impulse)? And this impulsiveness consistently leads to a lot of broken wood.

But this does not mean that feelings and emotions should not be trusted. Need to!
Emotions never lie!

First of all, emotions serve as a signal to us about meeting our needs. Well, for example: you set yourself some goal (say, in new apartment move away from your parents, because with your parents there is no life for you and your husband, you constantly quarrel because of them). We saved, saved money, looked for options. We've moved. The goal has been achieved. What emotions arose? If you feel joy, satisfaction, peace, then the goal was right. This is what you were aiming for. What if there is no joy? If you quarreled before, you still quarrel. The need for an equal relationship with her husband is not satisfied. This means that it was not the parents, and not the apartment. And now we have to think What other means can this need be satisfied?.

Those who are skeptical about living with the heart suggest “turning on the head,” i.e. live by reason. However, “reasonable behavior” does not at all guarantee success and does not exclude mistakes. Because pure reason, without the promptings of the heart, is incapable of recognizing and satisfying our desires, is incapable of correctly understanding those around us, and is incapable of much else. A “correct” life, where everything is logical, thought out and balanced, will never make us completely happy.

The truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle: For harmonious functioning, a person needs a harmonious union of emotions and reason. We just need to understand the nature of both, and not forget why we need them.

The main function of emotions– give us subtle information about our condition and the condition of another person. Any emotion is a signal that something is wrong (or vice versa “right”). Here you are sitting at a party. Everyone around is having fun, and everything seems to be fine. But somehow you don’t feel so good. Everyone asks: what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong? And you yourself don’t know. And here on this important stage when you feel some kind of internal discomfort, and should head turns on: to understand what's wrong. Feel, what is wrong, it is impossible. This can only be understood by going through many options.

Emotions are more than eloquent. Let's return to the example of the wife, who is infuriated that her husband consistently does not close the tube of toothpaste (throws socks around, is late, splashes the bathroom floor, does not fulfill promises, etc.). Her irritation - what is it about? About the unmet need for contact. In other words, she misses him warmth, inclusion, maybe even respect And adoption. And this inclusion, this respect is sought in a completely inadequate way, because emotions have accumulated - enough for an entire atomic explosion.

In this example there is one more interesting point: there is no goal as such in this behavior of the wife. She simply does not realize her need for warm emotional contact and does not strive to somehow realize it. Pokes like a blind kitten. He didn't close the tube, and she yelled at him. And she screams, in fact, out of powerlessness to understand what’s wrong with her, What does she need to be happy with him? I often ask my clients: why do you yell at your husbands? what are you trying to achieve? They cannot find an answer to this question other than: well, is it difficult to close the pasta? What will this closed tube do? Happiness in your personal life? Will this make contact with my husband warmer? Nothing like that. There is no goal, therefore behavior is aimless, and therefore useless.

What's the solution? Do not accumulate emotions in yourself, but track each of them. Every one! Felt - tracked - reacted in a socially acceptable way. Those. They saw another unclosed tube (sock, wet floor, unfulfilled promise) and went and yelled into another room. Then we talked about our feelings, thought about what, what unfulfilled need they were talking about... Usually it is very difficult for us to figure out what we really want and what we are dissatisfied with. And this is where psychologists come to the rescue :).

If the function of emotions is to suggest what is wrong (or vice versa “so”), then function of the head is to make a decision. It is very important that feelings remain only a tool, and last word it still remained a matter of reason.
If the mind gives up, you can listen to the heart. It will definitely tell you the right decision, unless his wise whispers are drowned in cries of emotion.

If the heart and head are in obvious conflict, then...
Let's go back to our very first case - calling someone you like young man or not?
Here you are sitting in front of the phone and suffering. You listen to the beating heart (call! call!). What does the desire to call tell you? - About the fact that I liked the young man. Very. You feel great sympathy for him, maybe even love.

And at this wonderful moment, as we have already said, ideally the brain should turn on. And ask you a question: what actually stops you from calling? After all, in fact, if the sympathy was mutual, would you do it and knew and felt. Then the question of whether to call or not to call would not have arisen at all. You would live with your heart. And since conflict and doubt have arisen, it means that one of your senses is telling you that your sympathy is greater than his Or there is no sympathy at all on his part. And if there is no sympathy, you are unlikely to be able to achieve his favor. That is, the time spent on him will be empty, the relationship you dream about will not work out for you.
What's the conclusion? In your mind you realize that there is no need to call. But consciousness does not understand the entire chain that we have just traced here. Therefore, only a vague trace remains in it (consciousness), such a quiet inner voice that whispers: don't call.

And here only you can decide what to do next. Listen to the heart that drives you into the trap of dead-end relationships. Or listen to your head and let your heart suffer a little. This is useful. It hardens. This teaches you to understand people.