Brief rules of etiquette at the table. Table etiquette rules: norms and culture of behavior

DINING ETIQUETTE

Bad manners: eating without a knife and talking with a fork. Leonard Louis Levinson

ETIQUETTE- Certain moral rules and manners of human behavior in society.

Table etiquette – the science of the rules of eating and human behavior at the table.

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How a person behaves at the table, how he eats, we can talk about his cultural education. Without observing certain rules of behavior at the table, without showing good manners, it is difficult for a person to achieve success in society. Since today's society with its business life and rapidly developing modern technologies introduces its own adjustments to behavior and education business man, obliges him to behave culturally and aesthetically. Business negotiations and receptions with clients are all an integral part of business life.

Let's consider basic table manners:

You cannot sit down at the table until the women sit down first, until the host or hostess invites you to the table

The man accompanying the woman to the table invites her to sit down to his right.

A man should pay attention to the woman sitting to his right.

A man sitting at the table should show equal attention to both women he knows and women to whom he is not introduced. And yet, we should not forget that the lady sitting next to her should receive attention regardless of whether the man is introduced to her or not.

You have been invited to visit, you should not be the first to start eating; at the beginning, the dish should be offered to all guests

Women are offered to try the dish first

When the next dish is served, there is no need to wait for others to fill their plates. - The woman sitting on the right should pour wine with her left hand. If a new bottle is opened, the man first pours some wine for himself, and only then for the woman.

By rules of etiquette putting your elbows on the table is bad form. Only your hands should be on the table. You should sit straight, without slouching or leaning over the plate.

If you are yes and you cannot reach any item on the table, ask that it be handed to you. -After finishing a meal, cutlery, fork and knife, should lie parallel on the plate. If the plate is presented behind a round dial, then the fork and knife should show ten minutes to four.

If you finish eating before others, then sit quietly and continue the conversation. Watch your actions, which may rush your companions. If you eat slowly, it is better not to finish eating than to make everyone wait. - You cannot stack plates on top of each other, or move the plate away from you.

If you have a business meeting and you combine it with a meal, then during the meal you should have a conversation that will carry general character. You should start talking about business after eating; such a meeting usually lasts from 1.5 to 2 hours. At such a meeting, it is customary not only to talk, but also to be able to listen carefully to your interlocutors, look at them with attention and interest. Allow everyone present to express their thoughts fully, to show that the topic of conversation is interesting.

IN table etiquette rules There are certain restrictions on the topics of table conversations. It is not customary to talk about health - your own or that of someone else present. It is not customary to talk about income, family problems, or conflicts with management. We need to discuss at the table general topics- about the weather, about culture and art. When talking with one interlocutor, you should not turn your back to the other

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SERVING ITEMS IN TINING ETIQUETTE

There is no need to be intimidated by the shine and number of cutlery on your table; all cutlery is placed in a certain order, in which order the dishes are served and the cutlery is placed. When you sit down at the table, look carefully at how the table is set. There should be a snack plate right in front of you. On the left side of it is a pie plate. To the right of the snack plate are knives and spoons, and to the left are forks. Dessert cutlery is located in front of the appetizer plate. Behind the dessert cutlery are glasses and glasses. There is a napkin on the appetizer plate.

All you need to remember is all the devices that are with right side Take from the plate and hold it with your right hand while eating. All utensils that are located on the left side of the plate are taken and held with the left hand. Dessert utensils that are located with handles to the right are taken with the right hand. Those utensils that are located with handles to the left are taken with the left hand. The napkin on the table is designed primarily to protect clothes from possible food getting on them. Therefore, calmly unfold your napkin and place it on your lap.

After finishing the meal, the napkin should not be carefully folded, just carefully placed to the right of your plate.

We looked at the main table etiquette rules everything is relatively simple and accessible, I hope that your further negotiations at the table will go well.

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Dining etiquette is not limited to just food rules. This concept includes the ability to make a favorable impression on others, the manner of communication, and much more. By these criteria you can always distinguish well-mannered person. Few people know all the intricacies of table etiquette, but there is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many manuals and articles devoted to etiquette. And it's never too late to learn.

Basic table manners

The rules of human behavior at the table can be called a whole science; they have been developed over years, even centuries, and are based on common sense, hygiene, attitude towards people who share a meal with you, etc. This section of etiquette is perhaps the most important, because Without good table manners it is impossible to succeed in life. Table etiquette is studied in modern schools business and colleges where future businessmen are trained.

Now we will look at the basic rules of behavior at the table. A man should not sit down at the table until the women sit down or one of the hosts offers to take a seat. As a rule, the man escorts the woman to the table and offers her a seat to his right. And only after that can he sit down himself. He should pay his main attention to the woman sitting on his right, but if a woman is also sitting to his left, then she should not be deprived of his attention. In general, according to the rules, a man must be equally attentive at the table, both to women he knows and to those he does not know.

So, the guests are at the table. But you shouldn’t start eating until everyone has filled their plates. This applies to the first course. When submitting the next one, you do not need to wait until it is offered to everyone. Ladies sitting at the table should be served first. The lady sitting to your right should pour the wine with her left hand. When a new bottle is opened, the man must pour some wine into his glass and then into the lady's.

It is completely unacceptable to place your elbows on the table, because... You can push your neighbor or his appliance. Elbows, if possible, should be kept close to the body. Only hands can be on the table. You also need to remember about posture. You should not lean over the plate. If the desired dish or object is far from you, you cannot reach for it, dipping parts of your clothing into other people's plates. You need to politely ask them to be handed over to you.

When lunch has come to an end, the fork and knife should be placed on the plate parallel to each other, in such a way that if you imagine the plate as a clock dial, and the cutlery as hands, then they should show the time “ten to four.” In decent establishments, this serves as a signal to the waiter that you have already finished your meal. But he should not put the cutlery away until everyone has finished eating. If you finish eating before the others, then in the remaining time you do not need to move the plate away from you, put them one on top of the other, you can continue the conversation, drink coffee or tea. By the way, about tea. Do not leave a teaspoon in a glass or cup. After you have stirred your tea or coffee, you should put it on a saucer. In no case is it recommended to urge your dining companions on with words or gestures. In turn, if you are used to eating slowly, then at a business lunch it would be better not to finish eating than to force everyone to wait for you.

The rules strictly prohibit making comments regarding the dishes served or criticizing their execution. When the women rise from the table, the man must also rise and stand until they leave the dining room. Then you can sit down.

Another very important rule. Basically, when serving, food is served on the table in common dishes: salad bowls, dishes, plates, which are designed for several people. Food from such dishes must be taken carefully, using special utensils that lie next to it (various forks, spatulas, tongs, spoons). You must try not to drop anything on the table or touch your plate with these utensils. There is no need to pile mountains of food on your plate, it looks ugly. After all, you can always add more of the dish you like. Smearing and kneading food on your plate also looks unaesthetic. This can make others at the table feel disgusted.

Rules of communication at the table

First of all, you need to remember that you shouldn’t talk about business at the table. The conversation should be pleasant and general. If the number of participants is small, then general topics for conversation are chosen; if there are more than thirty guests, then, as a rule, those sitting next to each other talk with each other. The feast lasts on average about two hours, and after it you can talk about business.

There are certain taboos on topics of table conversation. Namely: health (your own or someone else’s), income, family problems, work conflicts. Also, you should not pronounce too long monologues, be interested in age and social status interlocutors. It is recommended to talk about culture and art, but avoid going deep into the topics to avoid the possibility of an argument or conflict.

It is not permissible to conduct conversations over the heads of those sitting next to you. If you want to say something to a person sitting across from you, you can do this by leaning back, behind your neighbor’s back. When talking to the person sitting on your right, you should not completely turn your back to the person sitting to your left. The ability to listen to your interlocutor is also an important condition good manners. You cannot interrupt the speaker, you must look at him with attention, showing your interest in the topic of conversation with your whole appearance.

And one last thing. Never talk while food is in your mouth, and also, do not lounge imposingly on a chair.

Serving items.

For a person who is used to getting by minimum quantity cutlery, sometimes it is not an easy task to understand the purpose of numerous shiny knives and forks laid out on festive table at his plate.

In fact, everything is not so difficult. We must remember that all devices are divided into main and auxiliary. The main ones are those that are used to eat, and the auxiliary ones are intended for cutting something, putting it on, etc. And one more thing. All cutlery is located from your plate in the same order in which the dishes are served: soup, meat, fish, dessert. Thus, you should use the device that is furthest from the plate first.

Despite the apparent variety of serving, each item has its own purpose. At the beginning of lunch, there is a snack plate in front of you (sometimes a small dinner plate with a snack plate on it). On the left side of it there may be a paper napkin or a pie plate. Knives are laid out to the right of the plate, forks are laid out on the left side. Dessert cutlery is placed in front of the plate. Behind them are glasses, glasses, wine glasses. There is a napkin on the snack plate in front of you. If lunch involves no first course, a spoon is not included.

It would be correct to hold with your right hand all the devices that are on the right, respectively, with your left – those on the left. Dessert cutlery is taken with the hand towards which the handle of the cutlery is located.

Hold the knife correctly so that the middle and thumb they held it by the sides of the beginning of the handle, the end of the handle rested against the palm, the index finger should be kept on the upper surface of the handle so that they could press the knife down when you need to cut something off. The remaining fingers should be kept slightly bent. Food is cut towards you. But there should not be too many pieces and they should be small in size so that they fit in the mouth.

The fork is taken into left hand so that the end of the handle rests against the palm, and the fork itself faces the teeth down. Otherwise, it is held in the same way as a knife, only with the left hand. If there are side dishes on the table such as mashed potatoes or porridge, the fork is used as a spoon, i.e. turn over with the tines up, the fork handle should lie on the middle finger, and the index and thumb should hold the fork on their sides. In these cases, food is taken on a fork, helping with the tip of a knife blade.

The spoon must be held in right hand. The end of the spoon handle should rest on the index finger, and the beginning on the middle finger. If the dish consists of pieces that can be separated without a knife, then only a fork is served and it must be held in the right hand.

The knife and fork are held in the hands throughout the entire dinner - this classic way. There is also an American style of eating that allows you to use these items interchangeably. That is, after cutting the dish, you can take the fork in your right hand and eat with it. While waiting for a change of dishes, the knife and fork should be placed crosswise on the plate. In this case, the handle of the knife should point to the right, and the tines of the fork should be turned down.

How to use a napkin correctly.

According to modern etiquette rules, a napkin should be placed on your lap so as not to stain your clothes if food accidentally gets on it. Sitting down at the table, you need to unfold the napkin, fold it in half and place it on your lap. If you get your fingers dirty while eating, you can wipe them with the top half of the napkin, leaving it on your lap. To blot your lips, you need to take a napkin from your knees into your palm so that the ends turn over in your palms and the napkin becomes shorter, then apply its middle to your lips. Afterwards, the napkin should be placed to the right of the plate. Under no circumstances should it be hung on the back of a chair or placed on a seat.

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But few people understood them in more detail. For many, it is enough that they know which hand to hold a knife and which to hold a fork. However, this is very little. In this article I would like to talk about how to behave correctly at the table.

About etiquette

First of all, it must be said that there are different types behavior in a particular institution and even in a particular country. If you figure out how to eat beautifully, this question will be completely the same for European countries, in which you need to behave as quietly as possible at the table, and for Asian countries, where gratitude to the owner for delicious dinner expressed by loud slurping and smacking. Also, behavior in a restaurant and when visiting relatives at the table may be slightly different.

Restaurant etiquette

Understanding how to eat beautifully is very important for those people who visit various restaurants from time to time. So, it is important to behave correctly immediately after crossing the threshold of the establishment. It is important to remember that the head waiter greets guests and tells them whether there is free seats, and leads you to the desired table. It is also his responsibility to pick up visitors’ outerwear. Approaching the table, the man (if guests of different sexes have arrived) must first help the lady sit down, moving her chair a little, then he sits down himself. It is also important to remember how to sit at the table correctly. As for the position, the representative of the stronger sex should be opposite the woman or to her left. If the lady is a little late, the man can take a place at the table, but when the head waiter leads her to the appointed place, the guy must stand up as a sign of respect.

Order selection

When the couple is already at the table, the waiter always serves the menu. You should take your time choosing the dishes you want; in such establishments it is not customary to rush. Most often, the waiter will see that the guests are ready to order something and will come over. But you can also call him with a slight movement of your hand service personnel to yourself. The order is made first by the woman, only then by the man. However, a lady can ask a guy to do it for her, this is also allowed. If guests cannot decide on the choice of wine, they can ask the waiter for advice. You can also consult with him about a particular dish; this is permitted by the rules of etiquette.

Expectation

How to behave at the table while the order has not yet arrived? During this time, guests can chat quietly. The waiter will most likely bring the wine first. Only the restaurant employee uncorks the bottles; a man should not rush out of his seat to do this. First the drink is served to the ladies, then to the guys. As for food, you can start eating only after everyone at the table has already ordered dishes.

Rules

While understanding how to eat beautifully, it is also important to remember that in restaurants it is strictly forbidden to pick up fallen objects from the floor. The waiter will do this. He must bring a clean device. If an embarrassment occurs and, for example, a plate or glass breaks, do not worry. The restaurant will simply add its cost to the bill, and the case will be closed. Nobody will create scandals about this. If you want to add salt to a dish, and the salt shaker is on the other side of the table, you shouldn’t reach for it yourself, you need to ask the person sitting nearby to simply serve what you need. It is also important to remember about decibels: you need to speak in a restaurant in such a way as not to disturb others.

How to sit

When figuring out how to eat beautifully, it is important to remember that you need to sit correctly at the table. Thus, it is forbidden to put your elbows on the table, to lounge on a chair, or to swing on it. You should also not bend low over the plate. The back of the person sitting should be straight, and there is no need to slouch. However, there should be no tension or rigidity in your posture, everything should be natural. When the dish is changed, the guest is allowed to lean back a little so as not to disturb the waiter and rest a little in a comfortable position.

About food

It is worth remembering that in restaurants it is not customary to rush, dishes are eaten slowly in order to enjoy them taste qualities. If the food is quite hot, you should not blow on it. To cool it down, you just need to wait a little while maintaining a conversation. If you are burned by burning food, you should not put a napkin or your hands in your mouth, you can only wash it all down with water. It is strictly forbidden to spit out or remove from the mouth with your hands various seeds, including fruit ones. A fork is designed for this, which is carefully brought to the mouth and everything unnecessary is put there. If a person doesn’t like the taste of the dish at all, you can bring a napkin close to your mouth and spit everything out without attracting the attention of others with indignation about this.

If you need to step away

The culture of table behavior also has its own recommendations regarding mobile phones. So, if a guest receives a call, he can briefly say that he will call back without leaving his seat. However, if the conversation is urgent, you should definitely leave. Talking on the phone at the table is bad manners. Also, if you need to leave, for example, to go to the restroom, you need to ask permission from everyone present at the table. You should also not talk to people sitting at the next table. If these are comrades or you just need to ask something, you need to get up and approach them. When friends enter a restaurant, they should be greeted while sitting and with a slight nod of the head. A man stands up only if a lady joins his table. Women do not move in any situation.

End of the meal

When the dinner has come to an end, the guests are full and satisfied, they can ask the waiter for the bill, which will mean that their stay in this establishment has come to an end. The service will bring a folder containing the invoice. It is also important to remember about tipping - 10% of the order value. Who should pay is another question. So, in the countries of the post-Soviet space this is done mainly by men. IN European countries women are actively fighting this, considering it a relic of the past, and there everyone pays for themselves. If the dinner was just friendly, you can ask the waiter in advance to bring a personal bill, separate for each person. It is also important to remember about surrender. If it is necessary, the person simply remains silent. If there is money in the folder, some of which does not need to be returned, you just need to say: “No change,” and that’s the end of the matter. It is important to remember that you need to decide who will pay in advance; it is rude to do this in front of the waiter. You also need to know who to voice your complaints to. The head waiter, not the waiter, needs to talk about everything you liked or didn’t like.

Cutlery

But if all of the above does not terrify those who don’t know too much, then how to properly handle cutlery is a whole science. After all, there is huge amount plates, knives, spoons and glasses of various sizes and purposes. You just need to know how to hold a fork correctly and how to use it. So, when a person sits down at the table, no matter where it happens - in a restaurant or at home, he must definitely look around. So, according to the rules, the snack plate should stand straight, with the pie or napkin plate to the right of it. There should be spoons and knives on the left hand of the plate, and forks on the right. If all this is observed at the table, we can conclude that certain manners are required from the guest. You also need to remember that there will be a dessert utensil in front of the plate, most likely a teaspoon. Behind the plate there will be wine glasses and glasses, all of which also have their own purpose.

How to use cutlery

So what's the correct way to hold a fork? This question often worries people. It is worth remembering that those utensils that lie to the left of the plate are taken with the left hand, those on the right - with the right. That's all science is. Dessert cutlery is positioned so that the handle points to the right or left side. Depending on this, you need to decide which hand to take them with. As for the knife, according to the rules, the end of its handle should rest in the center of the palm, the thumb and middle finger are on the sides of the knife, and the index finger is in the center. The remaining fingers are slightly bent towards the palm. When eating, the fork is held so that its teeth point down, and the handle, like a knife, rests on the palm. In the case when you need to eat small pieces of food, as well as a side dish - mashed potatoes or porridge, the fork is turned over with the tines up, and a knife can help in scooping up the food a little. The spoon is held in the left hand so that its end is on the base index finger, and the beginning is on average. If the dish is easily separated, the waiter can only serve a fork, in which case it must be held in the right hand. Now everyone should understand not only how to hold a fork and knife, but also other nuances of using cutlery. Moreover, it is not as difficult as it might seem at first.

Napkin

When figuring out how to eat beautifully, it is important to know that you also need to know how to handle a napkin. Often it becomes a table decoration item, but it also has its own direct purpose. Before eating, the napkin should be carefully folded in half and placed on your knees with the edge facing you. This will help protect your suit or dress from any drops that might spill. You can also wipe your hands or lips with this napkin after eating or drinking. Hanging her by the collar, making a bib, is strictly prohibited. This is both inconvenient and very ugly. The dirty fingers are carefully and inconspicuously wiped on the top edge of the napkin, which remains on the lap. If you need to blot your lips, lift the napkin, but so that it is completely in the palm of your hand and does not hang. They blot (but do not wipe) their lips with the middle of the napkin, then it is put back in place. It is strictly forbidden to use it as a handkerchief or towel for wet or dirty hands. Also, you should not wipe cutlery with a napkin, looking for a stain on them. This can greatly offend the owners. If this item falls, you need to ask for a new one. At the end of the meal, the napkin is placed to the left of the plate, but never hung on the back of the chair.

About drinks

Everyone understands that correct behavior at the table is the key to a successful evening in a cultural institution. It is also important to devote a few words to drinks and the containers that suit them. The main thing is to remember the rule: the stronger the drink, the smaller the container it needs. A glass - for vodka drinks, a Madeira glass - for fortified drinks, glasses or glasses for white and red wines, a wine glass or glass - for champagne. Stronger drinks are served first, then in ascending order. The glasses are filled two-thirds full with wine.

About children

Etiquette is also important because children must also be able to behave correctly in society. However, it is worth saying that the rules for them will be easier and more restrained than for adults. And no one should pay attention to the mistakes of kids at the table. special attention. However, a mother or other parent should quietly reprimand the baby, teaching him correct behavior. What is most important for children when it comes to behavior at the table? It is important that children know that they cannot talk loudly, laugh, or scream at the table. You can’t talk with your mouth full, it’s ugly and even harmful to the eating process. You should also not slurp or smack, this is unacceptable. It is necessary to tell the child how to properly use a napkin: it should be used to wipe dirty lips and hands, and when not needed, it should be on the lap. The child also needs to be told that there are dishes that can be eaten with your hands and those that require the use of cutlery. So, for example, French fries, shrimp, fish fingers can be picked up with your hands without any problems; you can also grab a cauliflower inflorescence. But this ends the list of products that can be taken without equipment. For unknown reasons, kids love to eat spaghetti with their hands, but this is ugly and wrong. You definitely need to tell your child about this. Children should also remember that they need to stay at the table until everyone has eaten. And, of course, it is important to say “thank you” to the hosts who treated us. When eating at a restaurant, say “thank you” to the head waiter. If table etiquette is too hard for your little one, pictures are a great way to help with learning. You just need to show your child a few video lessons or typical pictures, and everything will become more clear to him.