In any society, be it a team of professionals, a youth get-together, or a family, there are certain rules of behavior, also known as rules of etiquette, or rules of good manners. They were formed in ancient times, and in the process of evolution they were improved and modified. They do not have any formal reinforcements, but exist so that people understand each other better and avoid unpleasant situations. In modern society there are no clear boundaries separating the rules of behavior of different groups of people, and there are a number of general rules of behavior that apply to any society.
The word etiquette was first used by the King of France, Louis XIV, who handed out cards to his guests - “labels”, which outlined the rules of how to behave.
Unfortunately, many people do not know all the rules of good manners, and make many mistakes in behavior. Below we will outline some of the little-known rules of behavior, the existence of which would be useful for each of us to know.
1. Don't pay an unannounced visit.
It’s not pleasant when a random guest breaks into your personal space. You may take someone by surprise, which will give you little pleasure. At this moment, a person can walk around the house in a robe and curlers, or plan an hour-long bath with bubbles, and he will be absolutely right, because he was not expecting you at all.
2. Clothes at home should be as neat as on the weekend.
Many people believe that they can wear anything at home. If you are expecting guests, you should not greet them in a robe or stretched “sweatpants.” And in general, a robe is needed to go to the bathroom, and pajamas are needed for sleeping.
3. Too much jewelry is bad form.
According to international rules of wardrobe etiquette, it is believed that you cannot wear more than 13 pieces of jewelry at the same time, including jewelry decoration of clothing. In ancient times, it was believed that expensive jewelry could only be worn by married women for evening outings, but now it is acceptable for young girls to wear jewelry, even during the day. But still, the rule remains unchanged that expensive jewelry is usually worn in the evening, and young girls should not wear too large and expensive items.
4. A woman must take off her hat indoors.
Unfortunately, many Russian women love to break this rule. A hat doesn't count decorated part wardrobe, unlike a hat, and these different things should not be confused. Once upon a time, a hat was considered part of a woman's hairstyle because it was attached to the hair with pins, and to this day a woman can wear a hat indoors, but not a beanie.
5. When going to your seats in a theater or cinema, you only need to face those already seated.
It is indecent to push through the rows with the back of your body. The man goes first, the woman follows him. If a woman comes wearing a hat, she can remain wearing it, but only if it does not interfere with those sitting behind. In this case, it is better to take off your hat.
6. A woman always carries her purse herself.
A man can only hold her for a while if necessary. It’s the same with women’s outerwear - a man can take a woman’s coat only to carry it to the wardrobe, or help a woman put it on.
7. The man enters the elevator first.
The one closest to the exit exits first. When going down the stairs, the man walks in front, and when going up, he walks behind the woman.
8. The man doesn’t always pay in a restaurant.
It all depends on the wording of the invitation. If a woman invites a man to a restaurant, accompanied by the phrase: “I invite you,” then she pays. If accompanied by the phrase: “let’s go to a restaurant,” then everyone pays for himself, unless the man himself offers to pay for both.
9. When in a restaurant, it is not customary to place a bag on a chair or on your lap.
Some restaurants have designated areas for bags. If you don’t have one, then place a small handbag on the table and hang a large one on the back of a chair. A briefcase or suitcase can be placed on the floor.10. Do not use cellophane or branded bags from boutiques as bags.
It's petty and lacks style. These bags only serve you on the way from the store or boutique, and then are no longer used as a bag.
11. Do not dry areas open when visiting or in the office.
It is better to fold it and hang it in a suitable place, or place it in a special stand, if one is provided in the room.
12. In a car, a woman sits in the back seat of the car.
If the man is accompanying you, then he takes the seat next to you, if the driver, it would still be preferable to sit behind him. But no matter what place the man occupies, upon arrival at the place he must help the woman get out of the car by opening the door and offering his hand. Nowadays, not all men adhere to this rule, using the motto of feminist women: “In business, everyone is equal.” In fact, no one has canceled the rules of etiquette between men and women in business.
13. It is indecent to “poke” people you don’t know.
It’s unpleasant to hear when they “poke” service personnel, or familiarize themselves in a group. It doesn’t matter what the age difference is, and what position in society a person occupies in relation to you. If the interlocutor is over 12 years old, he must be addressed as “you”. The exception is relatives and close friends, but even with them, in the presence of other colleagues, it is still better to comply with official addresses. If a stranger persistently addresses you as “you,” ask again: “Excuse me, are you addressing me?” If the interlocutor does not understand you, then it would be quite appropriate to tell him that you have not yet switched to “you”.
14. Before entering the child’s personal room, you need to knock on the door.
A personal room is a personal space, even if it is the room of a seven-year-old child. Thus, you will teach him to show respect for other people's personal space.
15. It is indecent to discuss people in their absence.
This does not make you any attractive, and it can also lead to a lot of problems. It is especially ugly to speak badly about loved ones, discuss husbands, wives, and vilify home country. After all, your loved ones are your personal choice, your reflection, and you yourself are directly related to the country in which you live.
16. If you are on a diet, keep it a secret.
Unfortunately, our young ladies do not know this rule at all. This is the same as complaining that you are imperfect. Moreover, you should not refuse treats prepared by a hospitable hostess for this reason. Try and praise the treats, but you don’t have to break your diet and eat everything they offer you. You can do the same with alcohol - it is not at all necessary to refuse and voice the reason. You can ask for dry white wine and sip it a little, as they say, “for company.”
17. Topics that are best avoided in small talk:
Politics and religion - nowadays everyone has the right to their own personal opinion on these topics, and discussing them can lead to conflicts and personal insults. Health is a very personal thing, and it’s not nice to flaunt your own, or God forbid, other people’s ailments. Money is the first and second combined. For example, it would be indecent to ask the question: “What a beautiful dress! How much did you pay for it? In this case, we can say that it is a gift. If the interlocutor insists, directly say that you do not want to discuss it.
18. List of some things that are best kept secret:
Age, wealth, religion, health, personal love affairs, family problems, gifts, honorable achievements, and dishonorable deeds. These topics can be perceived as an addition to the taboo topics from the previous paragraph.
And also, we bring to your attention an additional list of “banal” rules of behavior for modern youth, non-compliance with which brings discomfort to others.
1. Do not make noise on the street or in the apartment after 11 pm.
You can often hear loud laughter under the windows in the middle of the night, music from a car, youth parties “with guitar”, or quarrels and fights of quite adult and adequate people. The same applies to your own home. Such actions disturb the peace of people living in the neighborhood, and, by the way, you can receive administrative punishment for such pranks.
2. Do not listen to music through the phone speaker in public places.
This is your music, and others may not like it. If you want to listen to your favorite music in a public place, use headphones.
3. Do not talk loudly in cinemas and other similar places.
Cinemas involve public viewing, which means that everyone sitting in the theater, just like you paid for the ticket, has the same right to see and hear what comes from the screen without interference, and to enjoy it.
4. Show respect for old age.
Modern youth are disdainful of older people. Yes, due to age they become a little strange, but this is not a reason to feel a sense of superiority and ridicule. They were made this way by a life twice or three times longer than what you yourself managed to live. In fact, they are very interesting people who have something to tell. It is good practice to give up a seat to older people and protect them from unnecessary physical activity, and also not to refuse them a conversation.
5. For young girls: do not go too far with the desire to look impressive.
Bright makeup looks very ridiculous on the face of a young teenage girl. Clothes that are out of date or out of season, as well as expensive “adult” perfume, also look ridiculous. This entire arsenal does not make the young girl look any better, but rather the opposite. There is a time and place for everything, and this is also one of the golden rules of good manners.
6. Avoid obscene speech in public places.
Obscene speech is considered indecent, boorish, rude, and accordingly, using it in public places is bad manners. Ideally, it is better to exclude it from your vocabulary altogether.
7. Get rid of the habit of being late for the appointed time.
For some people, this actually becomes a habit. They are late always and everywhere. This is considered rude because it shows your lack of respect and interest in the intended event or person waiting for you. You can be very good professional in any field, but due to the habit of being late, you may never find a good job.
8. Show rules of behavior in cafes, restaurants, and at a common table.
When visiting or in any other public place, you need to use hygiene rules in the toilet rooms. If you need to wash your hands, ask the owner of the apartment what kind of towel you can use. When at a common table, eat carefully. Do not place waste food on the table, use personal utensils and napkins, do not put them in common dishes, do not drink drinks in bottles and decanters “from the throat”, do not sit at the table in outerwear. This is permissible only in a narrow family circle, where it will not cause a feeling of disgust in anyone present.
9. Do not throw garbage and used chewing gum on the street.
Also, we all love outdoor recreation, walks, especially outdoor recreation with barbecues and campfires. Cleanliness must be observed even on the street, try not to leave garbage behind, and in general, be careful about the environment. Birds find used chewing gum on the street and their airways become clogged when they try to eat it. They die.
10. If you are a man, show courtesy to women, even strangers.
If a girl is carrying a heavy bag, offer her your help. Give your hand when exiting the vehicle and let you pass through the door.
11. At the door, it is customary to let those leaving first.
This applies to everyone, men, women and children. In any collision of oncoming flows, the outgoing ones pass first.
Many of these rules indeed seem banal, but, nevertheless, we very often forget about them. Imagine how much our society would change if each of us followed the rules of good manners. There would be much less conflicts, and even unwanted life turns. Unfortunately, you cannot change the whole world, but you can always change yourself. And in what direction these changes will take place largely depends on such a little thing as the ability to present oneself correctly.
Rules of behavior in society are developed from childhood, but it is always useful to refresh their memory. Entering adulthood, everyone makes their own adjustments and sets priorities. Depending on how a person copes with this task, his relationships in society are formed. Failure to follow simple rules can lead to complete collapse, but compliance can lead to prosperity and success in life. At first glance it seems difficult, but the game is worth the candle!
By and large, the most important criterion There is one rule of behavior established in society - you need to behave the way you would like to be treated. The same applies to the commandments of any religion. The rest essentially comes from this rule. Regardless of gender, age or wealth, you need to treat others courteously, tactfully, kindly, and not show irritation, rudeness and disrespect. This is what is called etiquette.
Etiquette
This concept has entered the culture since the time Louis XIV. When he held lavish receptions, many aristocrats - armed, arrogant people - met in one place. To prevent things from ending in squabbles, at the entrance, his guests were given cards listing the basic rules of behavior in society. IN modern life important social norms are violated everywhere, since it is believed that failure to comply with social norms is a sign of freedom and independence. But it is unpleasant for anyone to receive sarcastic remarks addressed to them, to hear sharp and rude shouts after them or obscene statements. Those who do this are rarely successful.
By following simple rules, we not only promote our own interests, but also significantly increase the social level of society’s culture.
Rules of behavior in society for men
- A good upbringing does not allow you to dress according to the latest fashion - this is reserved for “dandies” and “poseurs”. Clothes should be no frills, practical and tasteful - the ability to dress correctly earns the respect and favor of others. Wear large number- stupid tone;
- There is no need to show off your merits; if they are worth it, others will notice them. This is why modest people are rarely objects of envy and ridicule;
- Think like a sage, talk like the people around you;
- The ability to remain silent and listen makes a man a good conversationalist. Developing this quality is extremely difficult, but everyone should learn how to do it. An Arabic proverb says: "Don't let your tongue cut your throat".
- It is not enough for a passing lady to simply nod her head; any self-respecting man should be able to gracefully remove his hat, bow, or express himself in some other dignified manner;
- The women's restroom is a place where no decent man will go, even if invited;
- Men should not group by interests and leave their women unattended, at least not for long;
- The stairs are an extremely difficult barrier for a woman; do not forget that, unlike you, she is wearing thin and dangerous heels. When going up the steps, carefully hold her by the elbow; you can walk in front, but not behind - this is bad manners;
- You cannot speed up or slow down your pace while looking at passing ladies on the street;
- Smoking in the presence of your lady means exposing her reputation to others;
- Don’t show your selfishness and give in on little things more often;
- If you meet an unfamiliar person in a position higher than you on the street, you do not need to pretend that you recognize him, wait until he recognizes you;
- Never criticize the faults or praise the talents of one woman over another;
- The dignity of a man will not allow society to ridicule a person who is present or absent. Even witty remarks can cause laughter, but not respect;
- Use solitude to control your thoughts. Form relationships within your family, showing character and wisdom, watch your speech and behavior outside the home.
Rules of behavior in society for women
A woman can be without makeup, hair, in her favorite robe and funny slippers that make children cry - it will even look cute. ? Yes, different, but if they don’t know how to behave, beauty 
disappears, makeup, clothes and even the most luxurious hairstyle cannot be saved. They should never forget, this is what adorns and elevates them to the level of respected and loved ones. Modern women often blame men: for rudeness, untidiness, stinginess and bad manners. Therefore, in order to avoid injustice, let’s consider the basic rules that a lady must adhere to so that the man and people around her treat her like a lady.
- A woman is naturally endowed with wisdom, but there is no need to stick out her mind and boast of her superiority;
- The ability to dress subtly and tastefully is the path to success not only in business, but also in personal life;
- “Beauty requires sacrifice” is a women’s motto. Even your neighbors shouldn’t see you in a tattered robe with curlers on your head, let alone a man;
- Kindness, sincerity and compassion should be the main elements in the daily rush. Move an old man across the road if you see his confusion and fear in a huge stream of cars;
- Only those who don’t know Russian well use swear words; being well-read is a strong trump card in your hands weak woman. A skillful interlocutor tactfully achieves what she wants with “less bloodshed”;
- The ability to “keep a face” is one of the the most important factors when going out. Loud laughter, sharp attacks, vivid displays of emotions, sweeping gestures and hysterics in public are the rules of bad manners;
- The lady knows how to gracefully enter the car, sit on a chair and maintain her posture;
- A well-mannered person does not ignore the rules of human behavior in society; he will turn off his mobile phone: in a movie, restaurant, business meeting, without considering this an infringement of personal rights;
- It’s not every day that you can get to a set table in accordance with all the rules and traditions, but a woman will not let on that she cannot figure out the sequence of using the cutlery. She will deftly get out of this situation and make up for this omission in the future - this applies to any skills. It is impossible to know everything at once, there are always gaps to fill;
- No self-respecting lady will rush into the arms of the first person she meets, because she knows her worth and behaves accordingly. Even if she had romantic relationship with a man, she will not question her reputation and will talk about the weather, science, cinema, art or painting;
- Every woman, being a mother, strives to teach her child to use cutlery, realizing that this is extremely important. There is no more pitiful sight when a child does not know how to eat this or that dish;
- Not everyone adheres to the rules of human behavior in society, so you may be asked an insensitive question that you don’t want to answer. Your task is to get out of this situation with dignity, smiling meaningfully or raising an eyebrow. Even a look can say more than words. These methods mostly work discouragingly;
- Not everyone can dance a mazurka or polka, but every lady should be able to waltz, these things are the basis of etiquette;
- Everyone has their own interests and preferences, but you need to know the basics of history and culture at a young age. For example, who is Repin, Rubens, Rembrant, Mozart, Beethovin, Glinka, etc.;
- You should never forget that you are a woman, you should open the door, let you pass forward, move your chair, etc. Men do these basic things only for those women who follow all the above rules.
Knowing etiquette, you will feel much more confident.
IN modern world not knowing the rules of etiquette means spitting against the wind, putting yourself in an uncomfortable position. Unfortunately, many perceive adherence to certain norms and rules of communication as something shameful, considering it a sign of highbrow aesthetes who are completely far from real life. However, these people forget that rude and insensitive behavior can cause the same reaction in return.
In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, basic politeness, neat appearance and the ability to manage your emotions. Both apply to both men and women.
- If you say the phrase: “I invite you” - this means you pay. Another formulation: “Let’s go to a restaurant,” - in this case, everyone pays for themselves, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, can she agree.
- Never don't come visit without calling. If you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers. One British lady said that when uninvited guests appear, she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If the person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”
- You shouldn't ask a girl out on a date through and, even more so, to communicate with her like that.
- Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. By doing this, you show how important a role your communication device plays in your life and how much you are not interested in the annoying chatter going on around you. At any moment you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check your Instagram feed, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have been released in Angry Birds.
- Man never doesn't wear women's bag . And he takes a woman’s coat only to carry it to the locker room.
- Shoes should always be clean.
- If you are walking with someone and your companion greets you with a person, should say hello and to you.
- Many people believe that you can only eat with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Unlike women, men can eat sushi with their hands.
- Don't make idle chatter on the phone. If you need an intimate conversation, it is better to meet with a friend face to face.
- If you are insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice at the person who insulted you. Don't get down to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
- Down the street the man should walk to the left of the lady. Only military personnel can walk on the right and must be ready to perform a military salute.
- Drivers must remember that in cold blood splashing passers-by with mud is a blatant lack of culture.
- A woman may not take off her hat and gloves indoors, but not a hat and mittens.
- Nine things you should keep secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, composition of a medicine, love affair, gift, honor and dishonor.
- When you come to the cinema, theater, or concert, you should go to your seats only facing those sitting. The man goes first.
- A man is always the first to enter a restaurant., the main reason is that based on this indicator, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the establishment and who will pay. If a large company arrives, the person who invited you to the restaurant enters first and pays. But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, the man must let the woman through first. Then he finds empty seats.
- Never you should not touch a woman without her desire, take her by the hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her by the arm above the elbow, except when you are helping her get on or off a vehicle, or cross the street.
- If someone calls you impolitely (for example: "Hey you!"), you should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture or educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach a lesson in etiquette by example.
- Golden rule when using perfume - moderation. If in the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
- A well-mannered man will never allow himself to fail to show his due. respect for a woman.
- In the presence of a woman, a man smokes only with her permission.
- Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when entering the room, say hello first.
- Maintain confidentiality of correspondence. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same towards each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is acting extremely rudely.
- Don't try to keep up with fashion. It's better to look not fashionable, but good, than bad.
- If after an apology you are forgiven, you should not return to the offensive issue and ask for forgiveness again, just don't repeat these mistakes.
- Laughing too loudly, chatting noisily, staring staring at people is offensive.
- Don't forget to thank your loved ones people, relatives and friends. Their kind deeds and willingness to offer their help are not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.
I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Don't shout from one room to another. Do not open closed door without knocking. Let the lady go first. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I take great care of my manners. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is for everyone clear language mutual respect.
American actor Jack Nicholson
Aggression — motivated behavior that contradicts the norms and rules of coexistence of people in society, harms the objects of attack (animate and inanimate), causes physical harm to people or causes them psychological discomfort (negative experiences, a state of tension, fear, depression, etc.)(Chernova G.R., 2005).
Recipient of influence — the partner to whom the attempt to influence is directed.
Altruism –a motive for helping someone that is not consciously related to one’s own selfish interests(Myers D., 1997).
Anomie – This is a state of disorganization of the individual that arises as a result of its disorientation.
Attraction -a special form of perception and cognition of another person, based on the formation of a stable positive feeling towards him.
Autism- this is a complex, sometimes painful state of a person, expressed in his excessive self-absorption, in avoidance of contacts with others, in alienation, in immersion in the world of his own experiences.
Autism -a personality trait that manifests itself normally and is not related to the sphere of psychopathology.
Relationship barriers occur when interactions are interfered with negative feelings and emotions. We can distinguish barriers of fear, disgust, disgust, etc.
Verbal communicationdetermines the content of a verbal action and uses human speech as a sign system: natural sound language and written speech.
Extra-situational-personal form (4-6.7 years) – communication unfolding against the background of the child’s theoretical and practical knowledge of the social world.
Extra-situational-cognitive form (3-4 years) – communication that unfolds against the backdrop of the child’s joint activities with adults and independent activities to familiarize himself with the physical world.
In-group favoritism is the tendency to favor in social perception members of one's own group as opposed to, and sometimes to the detriment of, members of another.
Suggestion - conscious or unconscious unreasoned influence on another person or group of people, with the goal of changing their state, attitude towards something and predisposition to certain actions.
Denotation- the meaning of a word recognized by the majority of people in a given linguistic community, the so-called lexical meaning of a word.
Destructive criticism - expressing disparaging or offensive judgments about a person’s personality and/or rude aggressive judgment, defamation or ridicule of his affairs and actions.
Decentration – the ability and ability of a person to step away from his position and look at the partner and at the interaction situation as if from the outside, through the eyes of an outside observer.
Since this mechanism frees one from emotional bias, it is one of the most effective in the process of getting to know another person.
Friendship, implies deep individually selective interpersonal relationships, characterized by mutual affection based on a feeling of sympathy and unconditional acceptance of the other.
Jargon – technical terminology or characteristic idioms used in specialized activities or narrow groups.
Shyness –This is a personality trait that arises in a person who constantly experiences difficulties in certain situations of interpersonal informal communication and manifests itself in a state of neuropsychic stress, is distinguished by various disorders of autonomics, psychomotor skills, speech activity, emotional, volitional, thought processes and a number of specific changes in self-awareness.
Infection - transferring one’s state or attitude to another person or group of people who in some way (not yet explained) adopt this state or attitude.
Ignoring — actions indicating that the addressee deliberately does not notice or does not take into account the words, actions or feelings expressed by the addressee.
Identification - This is a way of understanding another person through consciously or unconsciously assimilating him to himself. This is the simplest way to understand another person (Bodalev A.A., 1982).
Identification – this is a person’s ability and ability to move away from his position, “come out of his shell” and look at the situation through the eyes of an interaction partner(Rean A.A., 2004).
AvoidanceThis is a strategy of behavior that is characterized by both the lack of desire to satisfy the interests of another person and the lack of a tendency to achieve one’s own goals.
Personal image —perceived and transmitted image of a person, an emotionally charged stereotype of perception by the mass everyday consciousness of someone or something, for example, the image of a political figure
Initiator of influence - the partner who is the first to attempt to influence in any of the known (or unknown) ways.
Interaction – interaction.
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Are social norms of behavior necessary?
Home / Unified State Exam essays 2017-2018 (“Man and Society”) / Are social norms of behavior necessary?
I believe that social norms of behavior are not just necessary, but necessary. After all, they control the population of our huge country. The norms may be different. These are also ethical standards, which, when you come to a restaurant, will help you arrange your cutlery correctly and beautifully, have dinner, and thereby show the height of your upbringing and knowledge of ethical standards. There are also legal norms that no one has the right to violate. Such violations are equivalent to crimes for which punishment already follows. Thanks to social norms, order reigns in our country, and people know how to behave appropriately.
IN literary works situations in which heroes go beyond the norms and the consequences of such actions are described. Or, on the contrary, living according to the unspoken laws of society, they step over their own opinion and desire, and act as society tells them.
The theme of the relationship between society and man is raised in Turgenev’s story “Mumu”. This is the story of how Gerasim, against his will, drowned a dog that was his only friend. He committed such an act because he could not go against the will of the landowner.
This example confirms precisely that previously peasants had to unquestioningly follow all the instructions of their masters. These were the social norms, and they held on with all their strength to the work they were given. Even in this example, we can conclude that the norms were needed so that the peasants felt the power of the owners, and they did not have thoughts about free life. But, if Gerasim had violated the landowner’s order, he would have violated the already established norms of society. The peasants had neither freedom of speech nor their own opinion. Servants were even more respected in the master's house. The sacrifice of his act is a sign of recognition of these cruel norms of that time.
Thus, norms are needed to maintain order, a kind of control over citizens.
The absence of these norms can lead to chaos, complete disorder in the country. It is not for nothing that there are legislative and legal documents in which the norms are spelled out.
There are also unspoken rules of a certain society, breaking which can lead to exclusion from it. When a person follows the norms and approaches this respectfully and consciously, then he has nothing to worry about or worry about. Society will share his interests and will not leave him aside from public affairs. Law-abiding citizens can sleep peacefully and be proud of their country!
Did you like your school essay? And here's another:
Norms of behavior in society
Since man is a social being, his full life outside the life of society is simply impossible. A person must take into account the norms and forms of behavior that are established in society as a whole and in specific situations or in a particular society. Often what is unacceptable in one society can be tolerated in another situation. But still, each person must form for himself fundamental principles of behavior that will determine his life norm and line of behavior and thus shape his relationships with other people, and hence his success in life.
Norms of human behavior in society and in dealing with other people have been formed over the centuries. But these norms were not always the same. The social system, social and class division of the population changed, the customs in the society of the aristocracy, townspeople, clergy, workers, peasants, intelligentsia, and military men were different. At the same time, the behavior of young people and adults differed, and the national and social traditions on which these norms of behavior were based were different. For representatives of the highest status, the aristocracy, there were established firm rules of behavior, ignorance or violation of which was considered a lack of education.
Also often the norms of behavior of the corresponding state of society in different times were assessed differently: at the time of their formation they were appropriate, but in another period of the development of society they were already considered inappropriate, indicating a person’s low culture.
When communicating, people tend to gather together. Either in a smaller or in a larger society, and these meetings of more people are mainly caused by something. The reason may be some personal or family event (birthday, angel day, weddings, anniversaries) or public (state and local holidays, celebrations of some kind) historical event and the like). The participants in such meetings are, as a rule, people who know each other well. But when a stranger first enters such a society, he must first introduce himself so that those present know about this person. Therefore, most often such a person is accompanied and recommended to the society by the owner of the house or a person who knows the society well. If there is no such person, then the stranger introduces himself: Dear ones, allow me to introduce myself. My name is (you should give your first name, patronymic or last name), my specialty is... (here you can indicate either profession, position, etc.).
Before entering a room, they usually take off outerwear and hats in the dressing room, and women do not have to take off their hats. It is not considered necessary to kick off your shoes; instead, you should dry them well on the mat.
Return to Society Norms
Human behavior, i.e. the way of life and actions, depends not only on the character of a person, his habits, but also on how he follows certain rules and norms established by society. Since childhood, we become familiar with the rules of behavior, customs, traditions, and values. Knowledge of norms and rules allows us to manage and control our behavior.
Norms indicate where and how we should behave. For men and women, for children and adults, their own rules of behavior have been developed.
The assimilation of norms and rules begins with children's games. Here everything happens as if in make-believe. However, when playing seriously, the child adheres to certain rules.
By joining the world of adults in a play situation, rules of behavior and social norms are mastered.
Play is a way of learning the norms and rules of adult society. Games of “mother-daughter” and “doctor and patient” simulate the world of adults. Essentially, the child is not holding a mother doll or a doctor doll in his hands. They control adult beings, arranging them in the order they, the children, consider correct, forcing them to say what they consider necessary to say. Girls, playing “hospital”, need to play the roles of a patient and a doctor, ask about health, prescribe medicine, look after the patient and try to cure him.
When playing school, the game participants play the roles of a teacher, school principal, student, and parent. They require students to follow certain rules of conduct in class, at recess, in the cafeteria, etc.
Through play, a teenager enters the world of adults, where main role comply with prohibitions and permissions, requirements, rules of behavior, customs and traditions, in a word - social norms. There are many types of social norms in society.
The word “custom” comes from everyday life. These are habitual forms of behavior of people in everyday life. Habits are established patterns of behavior in certain situations. Lifestyle is created by our habits. Habits develop from skills and are reinforced through repeated repetition. These are the habits of brushing your teeth in the mornings and evenings, saying hello, closing the door behind you, etc. Most habits do not meet with either approval or condemnation from others. But there are so-called bad habits: talking loudly, reading at lunch, biting your nails. They indicate a person's bad manners. Manners are the external forms of human behavior. They are based on habits and receive positive or negative evaluation from others. Manners distinguish well-mannered people from ill-mannered ones. Good manners must be taught. Dressing neatly, listening carefully to your interlocutor, knowing how to behave at the table - all these are the everyday manners of a well-mannered person. Separately, manners constitute elements, or traits, of culture, and together they constitute etiquette. Etiquette is a system of rules of behavior adopted in special social circles that form a single whole. Special etiquette existed at royal courts, in secular salons, and in diplomatic circles. Etiquette includes specific manners, norms, ceremonies and rituals.
Social norms are rules established in society that govern human behavior.
Customs are of great importance in the life of society. Custom is a traditionally established order of behavior. Customs are common to the broad masses of people. The customs of hospitality, celebrating Christmas and New Year, respect for elders and many others are cherished by the people as a collective heritage, as values. Customs are mass patterns of actions approved by society that are recommended to be performed. The behavior of a person who violates customs causes disapproval and censure.
If habits and customs are passed on from one generation to another, they become traditions. Tradition is everything that is inherited from predecessors.
Originally this word meant “tradition.” Tradition also includes values, norms, patterns of behavior, ideas, tastes, and views. Meetings of former classmates, fellow soldiers, and the raising of the national or ship’s flag can become traditional. Some traditions are performed in everyday life, while others are performed in a festive, upbeat atmosphere. They refer to cultural heritage, surrounded by honor and respect, serve as a unifying principle.
Customs and traditions are accompanied by rituals. A ritual is a set of actions established by custom. They express some kind of religious ideas or household traditions. Rituals are not limited to one social group, but apply to all segments of the population.
Rituals accompany important moments in human life. They can be associated with the birth of a person, baptism, wedding, engagement. Rituals accompany a person’s entry into a new field of activity: the military oath, initiation as a student. Rituals such as burial, funeral service, and commemoration are associated with the death of a person.
Morals are especially protected, highly respected mass patterns of action by society. They reflect the moral values of society; their violation is punished more severely than violation of traditions. From the word “mores” comes “morality” - ethical standards, spiritual principles that determine the most important aspects of the life of society. The Latin word moralis means “moral.” Morals are customs that have moral significance, forms of behavior of people that exist in a given society and can be subjected to moral assessment.
In all societies, it is considered immoral to insult elders, offend the weak, humiliate a disabled person, or use obscene language. A special form of morality is taboo. Taboo is a system of prohibitions on any actions, words, or objects. In ancient societies, a system of such prohibitions determined the rules of people's lives. In modern society, a taboo is imposed on the desecration of national shrines, graves, monuments, insulting the sense of patriotism, etc.
Morality is based on a value system.
Values are socially approved and shared by most people ideas about what goodness, justice, patriotism, and citizenship are. They serve as a standard and ideal for all people. For believers in society, there are religious norms - rules of behavior contained in the texts of holy books or established by the church.
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Culture of behavior
The attitude towards a person largely depends on his behavior among others. It is no coincidence that the overwhelming majority have a negative attitude towards boors, or arrogant individuals. Cultured people, on the contrary, are desirable in any society.
There are generally accepted standards of decency and rules of conduct, compliance with which is the key to successful communication. All these norms and rules can be combined under one term - the culture of human behavior.
Culture of behavior and personality
The concept of cultural behavior and ethics has existed for many centuries, and in our time has not lost its relevance. This concept includes rules of behavior in society, actions and forms of communication of people, which are based on morality, as well as the internal and external culture of a person. Norms of behavior are a determining factor in the correctness or incorrectness of a person’s actions in society. First of all, the main factor of cultural behavior is good manners, i.e. a person’s willingness to comply with norms of behavior, his goodwill and tactfulness towards others. Ethics and culture of behavior are a kind of standard, a system of rules accepted in society. Etiquette is intended to serve people for everyday communication, representing a set of polite intonations of colloquial speech.
The culture of communication and behavior is an ambiguous concept. Etiquette can always be realized in communication, but not all communication can be recognized as etiquette. Communication is much broader than etiquette. In any cultural communication, partners may differ in gender, age, nationality, social status, as well as the degree of acquaintance and relationship. The culture of behavior is built according to these criteria. For example, a younger man is obliged to listen to an older man and not interrupt him, and a man in the presence of a woman has no right to speak rudely. To some extent, ethics is a system of cultural restraint to ensure positive communication between unequal partners. The culture of behavior is almost always designed for two recipients - the partner and the public. Thus, its rules and regulations extend in two directions at once.
Rules of culture of behavior
The rules and norms of cultural behavior begin long before two people have the opportunity to meet. In most cases, people who enter into communication remain unfamiliar with each other. But this does not prevent them from being polite and tactful.
The basic rules and norms of a culture of behavior are instilled in a person from childhood. However, if for some reason you were not instilled with them, or you have forgotten some of them, follow the simplified and basic version of how to become a cultured person:
These simple rules will not only facilitate relationships with people, but will also help you become a cultured person in the face of those around you, which is very rare today.
etiquette, norms of behavior, human interaction, competent socio-cultural space
Annotation:One of the basic principles of life in modern secular society is to maintain normal relationships between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. But in life, you often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for another person. The reason for this is that very often the basics of etiquette culture, which is part of the general secular culture, the foundations of which are attention and respect for others.
Article text:
Throughout his life, a person is in a sociocultural space where rules of behavior play one of the main roles. These rules are called etiquette.
Etiquette (French - etiquette) is a set of rules of behavior accepted in society, establishing the order of secular behavior, which allows people, without much effort, to use ready-made forms of decent behavior and generally accepted politeness for cultural communication among themselves at various levels of the structure of society, in light, while in the process of communication it is worthy to take into account the interests of others in one’s behavior.
The word etiquette itself has been used since the time of Louis XIV, at whose receptions guests were given cards listing the rules of behavior required of them. These cards are “labels” and give the name to etiquette. In French this word has two meanings: a label and a set of rules, a conventional order of behavior.
Understanding etiquette as a system of established mutual expectations, approved “models” and rules of social communication between people, it should be recognized, however, that real standards of behavior and ideas about “how one should act” change significantly over time. What was previously considered indecent may become generally accepted, and vice versa. Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under some circumstances may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances.
Of course various peoples make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, due to the specifics historical development of your culture. Therefore, etiquette also reflects a specific system of national signs-symbols of communication, positive traditions, customs, rites, and rituals that correspond to the historically determined conditions of life and the moral and aesthetic needs of people.
It is not possible to consider all aspects of etiquette, since etiquette passes through all spheres of a person’s public and personal life. In turn, we will focus on its most important norms such as tact, politeness, and sensitivity. Let's touch on such a concept as “inequality”. Let's analyze the levels of behavior, internal and external culture of a person. Let's highlight the rules of telephone communication. Last position It was not chosen by chance, since the telephone currently occupies a leading place in communication, sometimes replacing interpersonal and sometimes even intergroup communication.
One of the basic principles of life in a modern secular society is maintaining normal relationships between people and striving to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. But in life, you often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for another person. The reason for this is that very often the basics of etiquette culture are ignored, which is part of the general secular culture, the foundations of which are attention and respect for others.
In this regard, one of the most necessary norms and foundations of etiquette is politeness, which is manifested in many specific rules of behavior: in greeting, in addressing a person, in the ability to remember his name and patronymic, important dates his life. True politeness is certainly benevolent, since it is one of the manifestations of sincere, disinterested benevolence towards the people with whom one has to communicate.
Other important human qualities The rules of etiquette are based on tact and sensitivity. They imply attention, deep respect for those with whom we communicate, the desire and ability to understand them, to feel what can give them pleasure, joy, or, conversely, cause irritation, annoyance, and resentment. Tactfulness and sensitivity are manifested in a sense of proportion that should be observed in conversation, in personal and work relationships, in the ability to sense the boundary beyond which words and actions can cause a person undeserved offense, grief, and pain.
In addition to the basic principles of etiquette: politeness, tact, modesty, there are also general rules secular behavior. These include, for example, the “inequality” of people in the field of etiquette, expressed, in particular, in the form of advantages that have:
- women before men,
- elders before younger ones,
- the sick before the healthy,
- boss before subordinates.
The norms of etiquette - in contrast to the norms of morality - are conditional; they have the character of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. The conventions of etiquette in each specific case can be explained. Aimed at uniting people, it offers generally accepted forms, stereotypes of behavior, symbols of the manifestation of thoughts and feelings that make it easier for people to understand each other.
At the same time, etiquette can also be considered as an aesthetic form of manifestation of moral, secular culture, since it is at the same time directly related to morality, to the moral character of a person and to the aesthetic aspects of his behavior. Beautiful manners, beautiful behavior, beautiful gestures, poses, facial expressions, smile, look, i.e. what speaks about a person, his feelings and thoughts without words; speech addressed to elders, peers, younger ones at meeting and farewell, in anger and joy; the manner of moving, eating, wearing clothes and jewelry, celebrating sad and joyful events, receiving guests - to all these types of communication a person must give not only a moral, but also an aesthetic character.
In any case, etiquette is an integral fragmentary part of the structure of the sociocultural matrix and represents a significant part of modern secular behavior, although, of course, not all human behavior in general. In fact, it implies only the generally accepted rules and manners of human behavior in society in designated places, where one can observe the external side of the actions of individuals, in which they manifest themselves like a peculiar, pre-learned game of the intellect.
Based on the current lifestyle modern man, his social connections and activities, it is not difficult to list all those conventions of secular behavior that are initially associated with generally accepted etiquette and determine its corresponding ethical and aesthetic norms. All of them must be studied and repeated, and be well known to all citizens of the country. These norms apply to almost all aspects of life and everyday life, as well as spheres of human social activity, determining his behavior in the family, at a party, at school, at work, and in public places, on the roads, when he is a pedestrian and when he is a driver, in hotels, in parks, on the beach, on a plane, at the airport, in a public toilet, etc. etc.
It should be borne in mind that in most public places, citizens only need a simple knowledge of good manners and the ability to behave with restraint, culture and politeness, without attracting the attention of other people and thereby not interfering with their presence in your company.
At the same time, there are also public places where knowledge of etiquette alone is not enough for citizens. There, to one degree or another, other basic fragments of the sociocultural matrix that we discussed above (ethical, aesthetic, civil, value, environmental, etc.) must be used, as well as the ability to feel the system of balancing interests and, above all, have the ability to take into account the interests of others , put them above your own.
For this purpose, more serious norms and laws of behavior are applied, arising from the rights, responsibilities and interests of citizens, civil servants, and entrepreneurs. Without knowledge of the relevant fragments of the sociocultural matrix, individuals cannot be named, status certified or admitted to the corresponding cells of social activity or government positions. And the higher the social place of an individual’s activity in the structure of social relations, the greater the demands, in addition to knowledge of etiquette, should be placed on his behavior, the more his behavior should be determined by the responsibilities of this individual to other members of society, society in understanding their specific interests, the interests of society as a whole – national interests.
Based on this, it can be argued that the culture of human behavior consists of two parts: internal and external.
Internal culture is the knowledge, skills, feelings and abilities that underlie the fundamental fragments of a person’s individual sociocultural matrix, acquired through his upbringing, education, development of consciousness and intellect, professional training, signs of good results of which should be his virtue, knowledge of the interests of others, hard work and high morality.
External culture is a lifestyle and behavior patterns that manifest themselves in everyday life and in social activities during direct contacts and communication with other people and with environmental objects. External culture, as a rule, is a direct product of a person’s internal culture and is closely related to it, although there are some nuances.
Thus, individual manifestations external culture may not reflect the individual’s internal culture or even contradict it. This happens in cases of painful manifestations of the psyche, as well as in cases of behavioral “mimicry”, when an ill-mannered individual tries to pass himself off as a well-bred one. However, with longer observation of him, these contradictions are easily detected. Therefore, a truly cultured and efficient person can only be such thanks to his diligent upbringing. And, on the contrary, external manifestations of an individual’s bad manners indicate his internal emptiness, and therefore immorality, the complete absence of elementary internal culture.
External culture is not always completely dependent on internal culture and sometimes for some time can hide the lack of the latter. Good knowledge of the rules of etiquette and their observance can mitigate the lack of high internal culture, developed consciousness and intelligence, although not for long.
External culture is called differently: a culture of behavior, etiquette, good manners, good manners, good manners, culture... This suggests that, depending on the specific task, people focus on one aspect of external culture: most often either knowledge of the rules of behavior and their observance, or the degree of taste, tact, skill in mastering external culture.
External culture consists of two “parts”: that which comes from the elements of public sociocultural matrices (various instructions, regulations, generally accepted rules, decency, etiquette) and that which comes from good manners and enlightenment socialite(manners, delicacy, tact, taste, sense of humor, conscientiousness, etc.).
There are rules of behavior of different levels and contents:
1) the level of universal rules adopted in modern secular society, incl. among well-bred people - the intelligentsia;
2) the level of national rules or rules adopted in a given country;
3) the level of rules adopted in a given area (village, city, region);
4) the level of rules adopted in one or another non-secular social stratum (among ordinary people, among adherents of one or another religious denomination or sect, among corrupt high-ranking officials, among the elite, among oligarchs and other individuals with extremely high incomes, etc. .).
5) the level of secular rules adopted in a particular professional community or public organization (medical workers, lawyers, police officers, military, among actors, civil servants, members of a particular party...)
6) the level of secular rules adopted in a particular institution (educational, medical, government, commercial...)
Speaking about the external manifestations of ethical or aesthetic fragments of the sociocultural matrix of individuals, it should be noted that here, too, one can observe a wide variety of types of behavior: delicacy and rudeness, good and bad manners, and good and bad taste.
In situations where a person does not know certain rules of conduct accepted in a given society, but he has certain upbringing skills and knowledge of the basics of etiquette, he can to some extent compensate for his ignorance with instinct, intuition, based on innate or acquired delicacy, tact, taste.
Between rules and internal regulators of behavior there are very difficult relationships. They are opposites - internal and external, typical and individual, although at the same time they can “work” in the same direction. Normal relationships between people are generally a delicate matter that easily breaks if people treat each other rudely, especially now in an age of constant stress and increased mental stress.
The ability to listen to your interlocutor is an indispensable requirement of speech etiquette. This, of course, does not mean that you need to sit silently. But it is tactless to interrupt another. When talking together, you also need to be able to listen. It happens that you have to remain silent when you feel that your words can inflame passions. You should not start a heated argument in defense of your opinion. Such arguments spoil the mood of those present.
If a person wants to improve, to be better, to be worthy of love, kind, wants to be respected, then he must take care of himself, his words and actions, clean himself, not give himself peace in this. After all, it is known that good manners is an external expression of the inner delicacy of the soul, which consists in general benevolence and attention to all people.
Politeness does not necessarily mean truly treating a person with respect, just as rudeness does not necessarily mean truly treating a person with disrespect. A person can be rude due to the fact that he moved in a rude environment and did not see other patterns of behavior.
Thus, politeness is a moral quality that characterizes the behavior of a person for whom respect for people has become an everyday norm of behavior and a habitual way of treating others.
An important aspect of etiquette is the concept of good manners, which requires study and practice; it must, so to speak, become second nature to us. True, many things called in good form and refined taste, there is an innate delicacy, and therefore the statement is true that a person can assimilate everything and learn everything, but not delicacy. But delicacy is not everything, and innate taste requires improvement. Good examples and our own efforts contribute to this.
In addition, in etiquette there is such a thing as decency. This is the least noticeable of all etiquette concepts, but the most revered.
So, only those who embarrass the least number of people have good manners. After all, every person, as a rule, lives in society, i.e. among other people. Therefore, his every action, every desire, every statement is reflected on these people. For this reason, there must be a boundary between what he wants to say or do, and what is possible, what will be pleasant or unpleasant to others. In this regard, he needs to make a self-assessment every time to see if any of his statements or actions will cause harm, or cause inconvenience or trouble. Every time he must act in such a way that the people around him feel good.
The basics of etiquette, known to everyone since childhood, are three magic words: please, thank you, excuse me (sorry).
Every request must be accompanied by the word “please”.
For any service or help you need to thank, say “thank you.”
For any trouble caused to another, you need to apologize or ask for forgiveness.
These magic words you need to learn to speak without thinking, automatically. The absence of these words in appropriate situations or their non-automatic, unnatural use means either impoliteness, rudeness, or an announcement and demonstration of hostility.
There are no “little things” in etiquette; more precisely, it all consists of “little things” strung on a single core of politeness and attention to people. Etiquette begins with a certain order and rules of greetings, addresses, introductions and acquaintances.
Considering the “inequality” in etiquette, it should be borne in mind that the young are obliged to greet the elders first, those entering - those present, those who are late - those waiting, etc. On official receptions First of all, the hostess and host are greeted, after them the ladies, first the older ones, then the younger ones, then the older and senior men, and then the rest of the guests. The lady of the house must shake hands with all invited guests.
It should be remembered that the handshake that is common here and in the West when meeting and introducing a man and a woman in Muslim countries is completely inappropriate: Islam does not accept even the simple contact of persons of different sexes who are not related by blood ties. It is not customary for the peoples of Southeast Asia to shake hands either.
Demeanor is of great importance when greeting. You should look directly at the person you are greeting with a smile. When addressing a stranger, unfamiliar person or official, you should always say “You”. The form of address “you” expresses a closer relationship with a person. When addressed as “you,” many formalities that indicate an external, detached form of politeness disappear.
Dating etiquette rules are no less complex. The first step to making connections is introduction. When introducing yourself or introducing someone, you usually give your last name, first name, patronymic, and sometimes your position or title. If you are visiting an institution or official on official or personal business, then before starting a business conversation, you should introduce yourself and, if available, hand over your “business card.” An introduction is also necessary if you are addressing a stranger by what name. - any question.
An integral attribute modern etiquette is the ethics of telephone conversations. Its most important points include the following:
1) You should always introduce yourself when you call if you are unfamiliar or unfamiliar with the recipient or if you rarely call this recipient. It should also be taken into account that telephone communication may be poor, i.e. your voice is barely audible or distorted, and therefore even a good friend may not immediately understand who he is talking to.
2) You almost always need to ask whether a person is busy or not and how much time he has for a telephone conversation. The behavior of a caller who immediately begins to conduct this conversation without the necessary clarification of the boundaries of the conversation is unceremonious.
3) If you get a call and you are very busy and cannot talk, then, as a rule, the burden of calling back is not on the person who called, but on you. There may be two exceptions here:
- if the caller does not have a telephone;
- if for some reason it is difficult to call the person who called you. It is impolite to force the caller to call you back again because you are busy. When you do this, you involuntarily make it clear that you value and respect him less than yourself.
4) When they call on the phone and ask not you, but another person, it is impolite to ask “who is this?” or “Who’s speaking?” Firstly, it is indecent to answer a question with a question. Secondly, with your question you can put the one asking in an awkward position. The questioner is not always inclined to introduce himself to a stranger who picks up the phone. His right is to remain incognito to outsiders. Asking “who speaks?” willingly or unwillingly “gets into the soul” of the caller. On the other hand, asking “who is speaking?” voluntarily or involuntarily, it “gets into the soul” of the person who is being called directly, since the addressee may also want to keep the secret of his relationship with the caller. (Parents sometimes do this in their desire to control every step of their adult children, thereby limiting their right to personal life. Excessive control and excessive guardianship on the part of parents lead to the fact that adult children either remain infantile, dependent, or are alienated from their parents.) In If the addressee is absent, you need to ask not “who is speaking?”, but “what should I convey to the addressee?”
5) B telephone conversation business or telegraphic style should predominate, with rare exceptions. Talking around the bush is inappropriate. If possible, you should immediately formulate the questions for which you are calling, and do not hesitate to ask the interlocutor about the same if he is “carried away” by the conversation on unrelated topics. You need to tactfully ask your interlocutor to move on to the subject of the telephone conversation, without rudely interrupting his speech. In principle, non-business conversations on the phone are also acceptable, but only after it becomes clear that both parties have the desire and time to conduct such conversations.
6) It must be borne in mind that telephone communication is not as complete as face-to-face communication. Therefore, the requirements for conversation in general are more stringent, i.e. you need to behave more carefully, prudently. A word spoken over the phone and a word spoken face to face can be evaluated differently and even in opposite ways.
In a telephone conversation, you need to speak less emotionally, joke more carefully, and try to avoid harsh words and expressions.
Two more etiquette concepts that cannot be ignored are commitment and precision. An unobligatory person is very inconvenient for others, although he can be nice, courteous, etc. You cannot rely on such a person, you cannot count on him. Let him not be offended if they stop respecting him and avoid communicating with him. “Precision is the courtesy of kings,” says the saying. He is not a king who is not obligated, who behaves carelessly in relation to his own obligation.
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