Greetings, dear visitors to the site of psychotherapeutic assistance, today, in the self-help section, you will learn how you can manage your emotions and feelings using a simple cognitive therapy technique
How to learn to manage your emotions
You are introduced to the cognitive technique of Socratic self-dialogue to learn to manage your emotions and feelings.
For example, you are angry at your friend for his behavior (this is the emotion of anger), and are already ready for aggressive actions, against yourself - if you are an introvert, or against others - if you are an extrovert.
How to bounce back and get rid of anger, especially if it is really unfounded, and how not to become aggressive at the same time?
To find out how to manage emotions, let's understand the cognitive model.
Its essence: “How I think is how I feel, and how I feel is how I behave (including the physiological reactions of the body).”
That is, our feelings and emotions, and with them behavioral and physiological reactions (blood pressure, rapid or slow breathing, increased sweating, lump in the throat, redness of the skin, and so on), directly depend on our thinking, on our interpretation of the traumatic , a stressful situation (in our example, the behavior of a friend).
The process diagram of a cognitive error (thinking error) is as follows:
Stressful situation – Dysfunctional automatic thought (Autothought) or idea (image) – Emotion (feelings) – Behavior (and/or physiological reactions).
In fact, in order to return to normal well-being, we can break this chain anywhere, for example, by changing the situation: if there are no thoughts about it, there will be no emotions...
But the situation cannot always be changed, especially since the unfinished situation with self-thought and unprocessed emotion remains in the head, in the depths of the psyche, and then manifests itself, for example, in relationships.
The emotion itself, or the behavior corresponding to it, is difficult to change, especially when you experience it in this moment. Therefore, you and I will identify and change dysfunctional automatic thoughts (abbreviated as autothoughts).
Let's move on to the practice of using this technique to manage emotions
So, you are angry... You need to imagine the moment when you started to get angry... what the situation was... what the behavior of your friend was... and ask yourself the question: “What was I thinking then?”Maybe I thought what a dear friend I have, how attentive he is to me?
Hardly! I guess I thought that he didn’t love or respect me if he behaved like that? (thoughts are fast, so you need to catch them intuitively)
Well, this thought fits: “He doesn’t respect me,” so I got angry and was ready to beat him up.
Ask yourself the question: “How much do I believe in this idea that my friend doesn’t respect me?” (from 0 to 100%)… let's say 90% (write it down)
How strong and intense is my emotion of anger? (from 0 to 100%)… let's say 80% (write it down).
To do this, we conduct a dialogue with ourselves: ask and answer the following questions:
1) What is the evidence to support this idea?
We write down about ten pieces of evidence (arguments).
For example: He doesn’t respect me because he didn’t lend me money.
And we prove...
2) What is the evidence that contradicts this idea?
Here we find more evidence than in the previous question.
For example: He respects me because...
3) Are there alternative explanations for this idea?
For example: It’s not that he doesn’t respect me, he was just in a bad mood... had no money....
4) What's the worst that can happen if he doesn't respect me?
For example: we will stop being friends
5) Imagine that this happened and ask yourself: “Will I be able to survive this?”
6) What's the best thing that can happen if he doesn't respect me?
For example: he will respect me.
7) What is the most realistic thing that can happen if he doesn’t respect me?
For example: we will sort things out and continue our friendship.
8) What are the consequences of my believing this idea that he doesn't respect me?
For example: I will accumulate negativity, and we will quarrel.
9) What are the consequences of changing this thought?
For example: I will stop being angry, accumulating negativity, and I will be able to solve this problem.
10) What should I do about this?
For example: change your attitude (thinking) to a certain situation….
11) What advice could I give to a loved one in the same situation?
We write down a large adaptive answer, for example: “MY MOOD DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE RESPECT OF ME BY OTHERS.” (then you can re-read this several times to consolidate the result).
How much % do I now believe in this idea that he doesn’t respect me? For example 30%. (or I don’t believe it at all).
What is the strength (intensity) of my anger? For example: I no longer have anger (or so much).
If you did everything correctly, then the belief in the auto-thought will decrease or disappear altogether, as will the strength of the emotion, and you will feel better!
In the same way, you can control other emotions and feelings, auto-thoughts and behavior, including obsessions...
As soon as you feel a change in mood or the manifestation of a negative emotion (feeling), immediately ask yourself: “What did I just think?” and find an adaptive response.
Psychological Journal.
Instructions
To control your emotions in a particular situation, use the old method: count to 10. When you are calm, you tend to make reasonable decisions, not for nothing that anger is bad. Under the influence of stress, we perceive the world around us painfully and at these moments we are very vulnerable.
Desire and uniqueness will help you. This is what you need to constantly grow on yourself, strive for. Develop your best qualities as much as possible. Self-improvement is long and painstaking work. You must become spiritually richer, become more interesting not only for yourself, but also for you. In difficult times this will be very useful to you.
Do some self-reflection. This means that you need to be objective about yourself and your actions. Be as honest with yourself as possible. start small. If you have conflicts with others, then soberly assess the degree of your guilt and the guilt of your opponent. This will allow you to look as deeply as possible inside yourself and your own perception of reality from different angles.
Helpful advice
Know your strengths and weak sides.
Sources:
- 37 laws of self-management
The art of self-management will allow you to become a balanced and integral person who boldly goes through life and enjoys every day. To master this art, you need to observe your behavior in a given situation.
Instructions
Receive positive emotions. Perhaps you love watching movies that chill your blood. But after just a few viewings in a row, you will start to flinch at any unexpected sound, such as a phone ringing. Therefore, try to focus on pleasant impressions, smiles and positive mood. Communicate more with cheerful people and soon you will notice that you yourself become a cheerful person.
Of course, something can happen in life that will overwhelm your patience and make you very upset or angry. At such moments, stay away from loved ones whom you may offend. Otherwise, all the anger will pour out on innocent heads, because no matter how you restrain your emotions, they will still make themselves felt sooner or later. To prevent this from happening suddenly, allow yourself emotional release: regularly engage in sports or any physical labor, go to Soccer game, where you can “cheer” for your favorite team to your heart’s content, and at the same time relieve stress.
It is very difficult to control yourself during conflict situations or when you are provoked aggressive behavior. In order not to turn a dispute into a bazaar, try to justify your answers and demand the same from your interlocutor. If you feel like you are starting to lose your temper, take a break, for example, take a sip of coffee. Speak firmly and decisively, but do not shout, even if they shout at you. In this case, it is better to use a defensive reaction and, while such a loud monologue continues, imagine a noisy interlocutor with big ears or a clown nose. This will inevitably make you smile, which means it will help you relax.
Do something every day to improve yourself. The motto of all people who have achieved a lot in life was formulated a long time ago and is quite simple: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” This life principle will teach you to be on time everywhere, to be, and will also help you very quickly see the results of your own work. Make plans and follow them, not forgetting to leave room for a well-deserved rest.
Greetings readers. In this article I will tell you. We will talk about how not to give in to your feelings, your mood and state of mind, maintain a sober mind and accept right decisions, and not act “on emotions”. The article is quite large, since the topic requires it, this is even, in my opinion, the smallest thing that can be written on this topic, so you can read the article in several approaches. Here you will also find many links to other materials on my blog, and before you start studying them, I advise you to read this page to the end, and then delve into reading other articles via the links, since in this article I still skimmed the top "(You can open the materials via links in other tabs of your browser and then start reading).
So, before we talk about practice, let us talk about why we need to control emotions at all and whether it can be done at all. Are our feelings something beyond our control, something we can never cope with? Let's try to find out.
Feelings and emotions in culture
Western Mass culture thoroughly imbued with an atmosphere of emotional dictatorship, the power of feelings over the human will. In films, we constantly see how heroes, driven by passionate impulses, commit some crazy actions, and sometimes the entire plot is built on this. Movie characters quarrel, lose their tempers, get angry, shout at each other, sometimes even for no particular reason. Some uncontrollable whim often leads them to their goal, to their dream: be it a thirst for revenge, envy or a desire to have power. Of course, films are not entirely made up of this, I am not at all going to criticize them for this, because it is simply an echo of the culture, which is that emotions are often placed at the forefront.
This is especially evident in classical literature (and even classical music, not to mention the theater): past centuries were much more romantic than our era. The heroes of classical works were distinguished by their great emotional character: they either fell in love, then stopped loving, then they hated, or they wanted to rule.
And so, between these emotional extremes, the stage of the hero’s life described in the novels took place. I won't criticize the greats either classic books for this, these are wonderful, from the point of view of artistic value, works and they simply reflect the culture from which they were generated.
But, nevertheless, this view of things, which we see in many works of world culture, is not only a consequence public worldview, but also indicates the further path of cultural movement. Such an exalted, obsequious attitude towards human emotions in books, music and films creates the belief that our feelings are not controlled, they are something that is beyond our control, they determine our behavior and our character, they are given to us by nature and we do not we can change nothing.
We believe that the entire individuality of a person comes down to just a set of passions, quirks, vices, complexes, fears and emotional impulses. We are used to thinking about ourselves in this manner: “I’m hot-tempered, I’m greedy, I’m shy, I’m nervous and I can’t help it.”
We constantly look for justification for our actions in our feelings, abdicating all responsibility: “well, I acted on emotions; when I am irritated, I become uncontrollable; Well, that’s the kind of person I am, I can’t do anything about it, it’s in my blood, etc.” We treat our emotional world as an element beyond our control, a seething ocean of passions in which a storm will begin as soon as a slight breeze blows (after all, the same thing happens in the case of heroes of books and films). We easily follow the lead of our feelings, because we are who we are and it cannot be any other way.
Of course, we began to see this as the norm, even, moreover, dignity and virtue! We call excessive sensitivity and think of it almost as a personal merit of the bearer of such a “spiritual type”! We reduce the entire concept of great artistic skill to the level of depicting the movement of emotions, which is expressed in theatrical poses, elaborate gestures and demonstrations of mental torment.
We no longer believe that it is possible to gain control over ourselves, make conscious decisions, and not be a puppet of our desires and passions. Is there any serious basis for such a belief?
I think not. The inability to control feelings is a common myth generated by our culture and our psychology. It is possible to control emotions, and the experience of many people who have learned to be in harmony with their inner world speaks in favor of this; they managed to make feelings their allies, and not overlords.
This article will talk about managing emotions. But I will talk not only about the control of emotions, such as anger, irritation, but also about the control of states (laziness, boredom) and uncontrollable physical needs (lust, gluttony). Because it all has a common basis. Therefore, if I further talk about emotions or feelings, by this I immediately mean all irrational human impulses, and not just the emotions themselves in the strict sense of the word.
Why do you need to control your emotions?
Of course, feelings can and should be managed. But why do this? It's very simple to become freer and happier. Emotions, if you don’t take control over them, take control, which is fraught with all sorts of rash actions that you later regret. They prevent you from acting wisely and correctly. Also, knowing about your emotional habits, it is easier for other people to control you: play on your pride, if you are vain, take advantage of your insecurities to impose your will.
Emotions are spontaneous and unpredictable; they can take you by surprise at the most crucial moment and interfere with your intentions. Imagine a faulty car that is still driving, but you know that at any moment something can break at high speed and this will lead to an inevitable accident. Will you feel confident driving such a car? Also, uncontrollable feelings can strike at any time and cause the most unpleasant consequences. Remember how much trouble you experienced due to the fact that you could not stop the excitement, calm the anger, overcome timidity and uncertainty.
The spontaneous nature of emotions makes it difficult to move towards long-term goals, since sudden impulses of the sensory world constantly introduce deviations into your life course, forcing you to turn in one direction or the other at the first call of passions. How can you realize your true purpose when you are constantly distracted by emotions?
In such a continuous rotation of sensory streams, it is difficult to find yourself, to realize your deepest desires and needs, which will lead you to happiness and harmony, since these streams constantly pull you in different directions, away from the center of your nature!
Strong, uncontrollable emotions are like a drug that paralyzes the will and enslaves you.
The ability to control your emotions and states will make you independent (from your experiences and from the people around you), free and confident, will help you achieve your goals and achieve your goals, since feelings will no longer completely control your mind and determine your behavior.
In fact, it is sometimes very difficult to evaluate Negative influence emotions affect our lives to the fullest, since every day we are under their power and looking through the veil of piled-up desires and passions seems to be quite difficult. Even our most ordinary actions carry an emotional imprint, and you yourself may not be aware of it. It can be very difficult to abstract from this state, but anyway, perhaps I will talk about this later.
What is the difference between managing emotions and suppressing emotions?
Meditate!
Meditation is a very valuable exercise for controlling emotions, developing willpower and awareness. Those who have been reading my blog for a long time may miss this, since I have already written about meditation in many articles, and here I will not write anything fundamentally new about it, but if you are new to my materials, then I strongly advise you to pay attention to this .
Of all that I have listed, meditation, in my opinion, is the most effective tool for controlling your state, both emotional and physical. Remember the equanimity of yogis and eastern sages who spent many hours in meditation. Well, since we are not yogis, it’s not worth meditating all day long, but you need to spend 40 minutes a day on it.
Meditation is not magic, not magic, not religion, it is the same proven exercise for your mind as physical exercise is for the body. Only meditation, unfortunately, is not so popular in our culture, which is a pity...
Managing emotions isn't just about stopping them. It is also necessary to maintain a state in which strong negative emotions simply do not arise or, if they do appear, they can be controlled by the mind. This is the state of calm, sober mind and peace that meditation gives you.
2 meditation sessions a day, over time, will teach you to manage your feelings much better, not to give in to passions and not to fall in love with vices. Try it and you will understand what I'm talking about. And most importantly, meditation will help you disengage from the constant emotional veil that envelops your mind and prevents you from taking a sober look at yourself and your life. This is the difficulty that I spoke about at the beginning. Regular meditation practice will help you cope with this task.
There is a whole article about this on my website and you can read it by following the link. I highly recommend doing this! This will make it much easier for you to achieve the task of finding harmony and balance with your inner world. Without this it will be very difficult!
What to do when emotions overcome?
Let's assume that you are overtaken by violent emotions that are difficult to cope with. What to do in such situations?
- Realize that you are under the pressure of emotions, so you need to take action and not mess things up.
- Calm down, relax (relaxing will help), remember that your actions now may be irrational due to the feelings overwhelming you, so postpone making decisions and conversations for another time. Calm down first. Try to soberly analyze the situation. Take responsibility for your feelings. Define this emotion within a general class (Ego, weakness, thirst for pleasure) or in a more specific form (pride, laziness, shyness, etc.).
- Depending on the situation, either do the opposite of what your current state forces you to do. Or just ignore him, act as if he doesn't exist. Or simply take proactive measures so as not to do unnecessary nonsense (regarding this, I gave an example about the feeling of falling in love, at the beginning of the article: let it become a pleasant emotion, and not turn into an uncontrollable state that will push you to make decisions that you will later regret ).
- Drive away all thoughts born of this emotion, do not bury your head in them. Even if you have successfully dealt with the initial emotional outburst, that is not all: you will still continue to be overcome by thoughts that bring your mind back to this experience. Forbid yourself to think about it: every time thoughts about a feeling come, drive them away. (for example, you were rude in a traffic jam, you don’t need to spoil your mood because of random rudeness, forbid yourself to think about all the injustice of this situation (stop the mental flow “he’s so and so to me, because he’s wrong...”), because this is stupid. Take a break to music or other thoughts)
Try to analyze your emotions. What caused them? Do you really need these experiences or are they just getting in the way? Is it so smart to get angry over trifles, envy, gloat, be lazy and be despondent? Do you really need to constantly prove something to someone, try to be the best everywhere (which is impossible), strive to get as much pleasure as possible, be lazy and grieve? What will your life be like in the absence of these passions?
How will the lives of people close to you change when they cease to be the target of your negative feelings? What will happen to your life if no one has malicious intentions towards you? Well, the latter is no longer entirely in your control (but only “not entirely”, I’m writing this article, which will be read by many people, which means I can do something about it ;-)), but you can still train yourself not to react to the surrounding negativity, let people who are filled with it keep it to themselves, instead of won't give it to you.
Don't put off this analysis until later. Train yourself to think and talk about your experiences from a position of reason and common sense. Every time, after a strong experience, think about whether you need it, what it gave you and what it took away, who it harmed, how it made you behave. Realize how much your emotions limit you, how they control you and force you to do things that you would never do in your right mind.
This is where I will end this long article about how to control your emotions. I wish you success in this matter. I hope all the material on my site will help you with this.
“If you hate, it means you have been defeated”
(c) Confucius
Do you agree that without emotions you would be bored?
Emotions make life rich and interesting. And, at the same time, they can destroy your psyche, health, destiny...
To prevent this from happening, you need understand, accept and manage their emotions.
This is confirmed by spiritual sources:
“You must strive for emotional harmony and tranquility within the illusory world of the higher fourth dimension as you attempt to adjust to the mental plane of the lower fifth dimensional environment.”
(c) Archangel Michael through Ronna Herman. May 2015
How achieve emotional harmony? Read the article and a lot will become clear to you.
What is the difference between emotions and feelings?
First, let's look at the concepts emotions and feelings, connections and differences between them.
Emotion- This impulsive reaction person to an event currently occurring. It is a short-term state and reflects the attitude towards the event. Comes from Lat. emovere - to excite, excite.
Feeling is an emotional experience that reflects steady attitude person to the surrounding world, significant people and objects. Feelings are not related to a specific situation.
Character- is the totality of human qualities that influence behavior and reactions in various life situations.
To summarize: emotions, as opposed to feelings, situational, this is a temporary experience of the immediate present moment. Simply put, we perceive the world around us with our senses and react to it with our emotions.
Let's consider this For example football fans during the match.
They were brought to the game by a feeling of love and interest in this sport (this is their constant state).
And during the match itself they experience short-term emotions: pleasure and admiration for the game, the joy of victory or disappointment in defeat.
As a rule, we feel Soul, but we express our beliefs with emotions.
Also, through emotions they manifest themselves our feelings(joy at the sight of a loved one, anger at the sight of a “hated enemy”).
At the same time, emotions and feelings are situational may not match or contradict each other. Example: a mother became angry with her deeply loved child.
Depending on the character, people show different emotions in the same situations.
For example: the company's profits have fallen.
If the owner is positive in life man, he will be a little upset, but he will quickly pull himself together and will take effect. He will open up his attitude to the problem as a motivation for creativity.
For a weaker person, the same situation will cause state of apathy, inactivity, depression.
If you experience a depressed, depressed state for no particular reason, and even an unwillingness to live - what could this mean?
Like unbalanced emotions
ruin your life
What happens if you cannot or do not want to understand and control your emotions?
Relationships with people deteriorate
In a person caught up in emotions, sensitivity dulls to the people around him, even to his loved ones.
Therefore, people in an “excited” state manage to say a lot of unpleasant and even hurtful words.
Habitual your emotional response shapes your mood and character.
For example, if you don't work through your resentment, the “character of the victim” will be formed. You will react sharply to the slightest comments from others, enter into frequent conflicts, and then feel unhappy and depressed.
Your performance decreases
You are wasting your energy resources to endless, exhausting experiences.
As a result, you may simply not have enough strength to realize your goals and achieving success.
Write down times in your life when your emotions unsettled you. How did you deal with this?
A non-standard approach to problem solving... a 3-step algorithm.
Your attitude towards yourself is getting worse
An excess of negative emotions creates the belief that “everything is wrong in life” or “everyone is against me.”
As a result, you have self-esteem drops. You may judge and blame yourself, even become depressed.
Your health is being destroyed
Uncontrolled emotions play a big role in the occurrence of many diseases. It is called psychosomatics.
Surely you are familiar with the expression “the disease developed due to nervousness”?
This happens when
- excessive emotional response(hysteria, overthinking oneself),
- looping on negative emotions (when you feel constantly guilty or offended),
- denial and suppression their emotions (“You can’t be angry with your mom”).
Detailed decoding of the meaning of diseases from Louise Hay
Denying and inflating your emotions is not an option. So you will only ruin your life and make it unbearable.
If you want to achieve success in life, you need to study understand and control your emotions.
How to manage your emotions
Make a quality decision to get out of any difficult situation perhaps if you are in a state emotional balance. That's the only way you soberly assesses e what is happening and are able to act adequately.
1. Recognize the emotion and name it.
To work with emotions, you must first acknowledge their existence.
Learn to name your emotions: I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm happy. Look for shades of emotional states - there are more than a hundred of them!
At least admit it to myself that you have “negative”, “disapproved” emotions: cowardice, gloating, curiosity to delve into other people’s secrets...
If you are not fully aware of your experiences, then you do not understand the role emotions play. for you personally.
WITH accepting any of your emotions the ability to control them begins.
Otherwise, for any similar situations you will be forced to experience an emotional explosion and endlessly walk in circles.
2. Analyze what your emotions are saying
Learn to realize what essence and value your emotions, especially the “negative” ones.
- About what signal your experiences?
- What do they pay your attention to? attention?
- What is worth thinking about?
- What should be changed?
Be honest with yourself when answering these questions.
Perhaps resentment indicates need for recognition, and anger protects you from the destructive person in your life.
Or maybe you're used to hysterical behavior to get wish from intractable people? In this case, it is worth looking for other options...
Once you understand the value behind the outburst of emotions, they automatically subside.
3. Don't take it personally
Learn not to accept personal account everything that happens to you.
If your husband or boss yelled at you, this does not mean that you have done anything wrong.
Perhaps they are in a bad mood, this has nothing to do with you personally. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Don’t get drawn into this negativity by reacting with emotion. resentment or anger. However, you have the right to calmly and correctly defend your boundaries.
4. Use meditation and spiritual practices
If you are prone to emotional outbursts or prolonged experiences, you have high sensitivity - learn to calm down even in the most difficult situations.
They help with this meditation. Even after a short practice, you will feel relaxed and the intensity of your emotions will subside.
Regular meditation will tune your brain to think more positively.
During meditation, the brain changes the frequency of electrical impulses to deep and calm alpha waves. They induce a state of peace and relaxation in a person.
Another simple and effective technique is breathing. Take a deep breath and exhale into the ground several times.
5. Do things differently.
Train yourself to react differently to familiar“negative” situations.
For example, you can try to turn the brewing scandal into a joke, and thus discharge situation.
Simple practices on how to get out of an emotionally charged situation
If you can't figure out how to do things differently, practice this in game form(for example, at trainings). You can get inspiration from books and films.
6. Understand the nature of emotions
Read books and articles about emotions: why they arise, how they affect the body and consciousness.
Every person given the opportunity keep yourself in a positive mood.
Deliberate a person knows how to control himself, monitor and manage his emotions.
Do not suppress emotions in yourself, but understand the reasons for their occurrence both in yourself and in others.
And by this, manage your life, creating more happiness and inner harmony in her!
P.S. Perhaps the most important step to emotional healing is the ability to forgive your offenders, let go of the pain of your past.
Overcoming barriers to mutual understanding that arise in various communication situations is not easy. To do this, you need to have a good understanding of the nuances of human psychology, including your own. Another thing that is much simpler is not to create these barriers yourself. In order not to be the main obstacle to mutual understanding with others, a person needs to know the psychological rules of communication, and first of all, learn to manage his emotions, which most often become a source of interpersonal conflicts.
Our attitude towards emotions is very similar to our attitude towards old age, which, according to Cicero’s witty remark, everyone wants to achieve, but having achieved it, they blame it. The mind constantly rebels against the unlimited power of emotions in human relationships. But his protest can most often be heard “after a fight,” when it becomes crystal clear that fear, anger, or excessive joy were not the best advisors in communication. “There was no need to get excited,” suggests the mind, which was rightly called “backward,” “first you should have weighed everything, and then revealed your attitude towards your interlocutor.” All that remains is to agree with the wise arbiter, so that next time we can act no less recklessly, reacting to others with all our inherent emotionality.
The easiest way would be to recognize emotions as a harmful legacy of the past, inherited from our “lesser brothers,” who, due to their evolutionary immaturity, could not use reason for the best adaptation to the environment and were forced to be content with such primitive adaptation mechanisms as fear, which forced them to run away from danger; a rage that, without any hesitation, mobilized its muscles to fight for survival; pleasure, the pursuit of which did not know fatigue and indulgence. This point of view was held by the famous Swiss psychologist E. Claparède, who with increased emotionality rejected the right of emotions to participate in the regulation of human activity: “The uselessness or even harmfulness of emotions is known to everyone. Let us imagine, for example, a person who has to cross the street; if he is afraid of cars, he will lose his cool and run.
Sadness, joy, anger, weakening attention and common sense, often force us to perform unwanted actions. In short, an individual, caught in the grip of emotion, “loses his head.” Of course, a person crossing the street calmly has all the advantages over an emotionally excited one. And if our whole life consisted of a continuous intersection of tense highways, then emotions would hardly find a worthy place in it. However, life, fortunately, is designed in such a way that crossing streets in it most often turns out not to be a goal, but a means of achieving more interesting goals that could not exist without emotions. One of these goals is human understanding. It is no coincidence that many science fiction writers associate the worst prospects for the development of the human race with the loss of the wealth of emotional experiences, with communication built according to strictly verified logical schemes. The gloomy specter of a future world in which intelligent automata triumph, or rather, rule (since triumph is a state not devoid of emotionality), worries not only writers, but also many scientists who study the influence of scientific and technological progress on the development of society and the individual.
Modern culture is actively invading the emotional world of man. In this case, two, at first glance, opposite, but essentially interrelated processes are observed - an increase in emotional excitability and the spread of apathy. These processes are found in Lately due to the massive penetration of computers into all spheres of life. For example, according to Japanese psychologists, fifty out of a hundred children who are addicted to computer games; suffer from emotional disorders. For some, this manifests itself in increased aggressiveness, while in others it manifests itself in deep apathy, loss of the ability to react emotionally to real events. Such phenomena, when a person’s emotional states begin to approach the poles, when control over emotions is lost and their moderate manifestations are increasingly replaced by extremes, are evidence of obvious trouble in the emotional sphere. As a result, tension in human relationships increases. According to sociologists, three-quarters of families are subject to constant conflicts that arise for various reasons, but usually manifest themselves in one thing - uncontrollable emotional outbursts, which most participants subsequently regret.
Emotional outbursts are not always detrimental to relationships. Sometimes, as we noted, they bring some benefit if they do not drag on for a long time and are not accompanied by mutual, and especially public, insults. But emotional coldness, which in social-role and business communication unpleasant as a demonstration of an indifferent attitude to what is happening, and in intimate and personal communication it is simply unacceptable, since it destroys the very possibility of mutual understanding between close people. The polarization of emotional manifestations characteristic of modern civilization stimulates active search rational methods of regulating emotions, the release of which out of control threatens both the internal psychological stability of a person and the stability of his social connections. This is not to say that the problem of managing emotions is typical only for modern society. The ability to resist passions and not succumb to immediate impulses that are inconsistent with the demands of reason has been considered the most important characteristic of wisdom in all centuries. Many thinkers of the past elevated it to the rank of the highest virtue. For example, Marcus Aurelius considered non-passion, which manifests itself in a person’s experience of exclusively rational emotions, as an ideal state of mind.
And although some philosophers, like the Stoic Marcus Aurelius, called for subordinating emotions to reason, and others advised not to enter into a hopeless struggle with natural impulses and submit to their arbitrariness, not a single thinker of the past was indifferent to this problem. And if it were possible to hold a referendum among them on the question of the relationship between the rational and the emotional in people’s lives, then, in our opinion, the majority of votes would accept the opinion expressed by the great humanist of the Renaissance Erasmus of Rotterdam, who argued that “there is one and only the path to happiness: the main thing is to know yourself; then do everything not depending on passions, but according to the decision of reason.”
It is difficult to judge how true such a statement is. Since emotions arise primarily as reactions to real life events that are far from the ideal of a rational structure of the world, the call for their coordination with reason rarely finds fertile ground. Modern psychologists, based on many years of experience in the scientific study of human emotions, as a rule, recognize the need for their rational regulation. Polish scientist J. Reikowski emphasizes: “In an effort to more and more effectively control the world around him, a person does not want to put up with the fact that something may exist in himself that negates the efforts made and interferes with the implementation of his intentions. And when emotions take over, very often. everything happens just like that.” As we can see, according to Reikowski, emotions should not take precedence over reason. But let’s see how he assesses this situation from the point of view of the ability of the mind to change the state of affairs: “Up until now, people were only able to state the discrepancy between the “voice of the heart and the voice of reason,” but could neither understand nor eliminate it.” Behind this authoritative judgment are the results of numerous studies, psychological observations and experiments that reveal the contradictory nature of the relationship between “unreasonable” emotions and the “non-emotional” mind. We only have to agree with J. Reikovsky that we have not yet learned to manage our emotions wisely. And how to manage when there are a lot of emotions, and the mind is in best case scenario, one. Not having the logic inherent in reason in solving problem situations, emotions take over others - a kind of everyday resourcefulness that allows you to turn a problematic situation into a problem-free one. Psychologists have found that emotions disorganize the activity in connection with which they arose. For example, fear that arises with the need to overcome a dangerous section of the path disrupts or even paralyzes the movement towards the goal, and intense joy about success in creative activity reduces creative potential. This shows the irrationality of emotions. And it is unlikely that they would have survived the competition with reason if they had not learned to win by “cunning.” By disrupting the original form of activity, emotions significantly facilitate the transition to a new one, which allows one to solve a problem without hesitation or doubt, which turned out to be a “tough nut to crack” for the mind. Thus, fear stops you in front of an elusive goal, but gives you strength and energy to escape from the dangers that lie in wait on the way to it; anger allows you to sweep away obstacles that cannot be rationally circumvented; joy makes it possible to be satisfied with what you already have, keeping you from the endless race for everything that does not yet exist.
Emotions are an evolutionarily earlier mechanism for regulating behavior than reason. Therefore, they choose simpler ways to solve life situations. To those who follow their “advice,” emotions add energy, since they are directly related to physiological processes, in contrast to the mind, to which not all systems of the body obey. Under strong impact emotions in the body there is such a mobilization of forces that the mind cannot cause either by orders, or requests, or prodding.
A person’s need to intelligently manage his emotions does not arise because he is dissatisfied with the very fact of the appearance of emotional states. Normal activity and communication are equally hampered by violent, uncontrollable experiences, as well as indifference and lack of emotional involvement. It is unpleasant to communicate with someone who is “terrible in anger” or “violent in joy,” and with someone whose dull gaze indicates complete indifference to what is happening. Intuitively, people have a good sense of the “golden mean”, which provides the most favorable atmosphere in various communication situations. All our worldly wisdom is directed against emotional extremes. If grief means “don’t worry too much,” if joy means “don’t be too happy so you don’t cry later,” if disgust means “don’t be too picky,” if apathy means “shake yourself up!”
We generously share such recommendations with each other, because we are well aware that uncontrolled emotions can cause damage to both the person himself and his relationships with others. Alas, wise advice rarely resonates. People are much more likely to infect each other with out-of-control emotions than to achieve the beneficial effects of their recommendations for their wise management.
It is difficult to expect that a person will listen to someone else's voice of reason when his own turns out to be powerless. And these voices say the same thing: “You need to control yourself,” “you shouldn’t give in to weakness,” etc. By suppressing emotions “by command,” we most often achieve the opposite effect - excitement increases, and weakness becomes intolerable. Unable to cope with experiences, a person tries to suppress at least the external manifestations of emotions. However, external well-being in the face of internal discord is too expensive: raging passions fall on one’s own body, inflicting blows on it from which it cannot recover for a long time. And if a person gets used to remaining calm in the presence of other people at any cost, he risks becoming seriously ill.
American psychologist R. Holt proved that the inability to express anger leads to a subsequent deterioration in well-being and health. Constantly restraining expressions of anger (in facial expressions, gestures, words) can contribute to the development of diseases such as hypertension, stomach ulcers, migraines, etc. Therefore, Holt suggests expressing anger, but doing it constructively, which, in his opinion, is possible if a person overcome by anger, wants to “establish, restore, or maintain positive relationships with others. He acts and speaks in such a way as to express his feelings directly and sincerely, while maintaining sufficient control over their intensity, which is no more than necessary to convince others of the truth of his experiences.
But how can you maintain control over the intensity of the feeling if the first thing you lose in anger is the ability to control your state? That’s why we don’t give free rein to our emotions because we are not sure of the ability to maintain control over them and direct them in a constructive direction. There is another reason for excessive restraint - traditions regulating emotional manifestations. For example, in Japanese culture it is customary to even report one’s misfortunes with a polite smile, so as not to cause embarrassment to others. stranger. The traditional Japanese restraint in public expression of feelings is now perceived by them as a possible source of increasing emotional tension. It is no coincidence that they came up with the idea of creating robots that perform the functions of a “scapegoat”. In the presence of a person violently expressing his anger, such a robot humbly bows and asks for forgiveness, which is provided by a special program embedded in its electronic brain. Although the price of these robots is quite high, they are in great demand.
In European culture, men's tears are not encouraged. A real man “shouldn’t” cry. A stingy male tear is considered acceptable only in tragic circumstances when it is clear to others that grief is unbearable. In other situations, a crying man is perceived with condemnation or disgusted sympathy. But crying, as scientists have established, performs an important function, promoting emotional release, helping to survive grief, and get rid of sadness. By suppressing the natural manifestations of these emotions, men appear to be less protected than women from the effects of severe stress. Unable to publicly display their tears, some men cry in secret. According to American researcher W. Frey, 36% of men cry over films, television shows and books, while only 27% of women cry about the same thing. The same study found that overall, women cry four times more often than men.
As we see, a person too often has to suppress emotions both for individual reasons and following traditions. Using such a mechanism for controlling emotions, he acts reasonably to the extent that he needs to maintain normal relationships with others, and at the same time his actions are unreasonable, since they damage his health and psychological state. Doesn’t managing emotions generally fall into that category of conscious actions that cannot be called reasonable, and isn’t it wiser to leave emotions to themselves without interfering with their natural course?
But as studies by psychologists show, the emotional element is contraindicated even for actors who, by the nature of their work, must be immersed in a stream of emotions on stage in order to completely merge with their characters. However, the success of acting is higher, the more effectively the actor is able to control the dynamics of emotional states, the better his consciousness regulates the intensity of experiences.
Convinced that the fight against emotions brings the winner more thorns than laurels, people tried to find ways to influence their emotional world that would allow them to penetrate into the deep mechanisms of experiences and use these mechanisms more wisely than nature had disposed of. This is a system of emotion regulation based on yogic gymnastics. Observant members of that Indian sect noticed that with unpleasant emotions, breathing becomes constrained, shallow or intermittent, and an excited person assumes postures with excessively increased muscle tone. Having established the connection between posture, breathing and experiences, yogis have developed a number of physical and breathing exercises, mastery of which allows one to get rid of emotional tension and, to some extent, overcome unpleasant experiences. However, the philosophical concept of yogis is such that the goal of constant exercise is not rational control over emotions, getting rid of them in an effort to achieve complete serenity of spirit. Separate elements of the yoga system were used to create modern method psychological self-regulation - autogenic training.
There are many variations of this method, first proposed by the German psychotherapist I. Schulz in 932. Schultz's classic technique included a number of self-hypnosis formulas that, after repeated exercises, made it possible to freely induce a feeling of warmth and heaviness in various parts of the body, regulate the frequency of breathing and heartbeat, and induce general relaxation. Currently, autogenic training is widely used to correct emotional states with increased neuro-emotional stress, to overcome the consequences of stressful situations that arise in extreme conditions of professional activity.
Experts in the field of autogenic training believe that the scope of application of this method will constantly expand, and autotraining can become one of the important elements of a person’s psychological culture. In our opinion, auto-training is one of the methods of suppressing emotions, although not as primitive as the call to control yourself when emotions “overflow.” With autogenic training, a person first masters those functions that were not subject to conscious regulation (thermal sensations, heart rate, etc.), and then “from the rear” he attacks his experiences, depriving them of the body’s support. If you can cope with experiences without social and moral content, then there is a great temptation to get rid of, say, remorse, causing a feeling of pleasant heaviness and warmth in the solar plexus, and from a painful feeling of compassion, feeling like a bird soaring freely in the radiant heavenly space . “I’m calm, I’m completely calm,” the character in the film “The Hitcher” repeats one of the self-hypnosis formulas every time there is a threat to his emotional well-being. His moral revival is precisely manifested in the fact that this spell gradually ceases to fulfill its regulatory function.
A person’s true psychological culture is manifested not so much in the fact that he knows self-regulation techniques, but in the ability to use these techniques to achieve psychological states, which in nai to a greater extent comply with humanistic norms of behavior and relationships with other people. Therefore, people have always been concerned about the problem of criteria for the reasonable management of emotions. Common sense suggests that such a criterion may be the desire for pleasure. This point of view was held, for example, by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristippus, who believed that pleasure is a goal to which one must strive without fail, avoiding situations that threaten unpleasant experiences. Among subsequent generations of philosophers he had few supporters. But among people who are not inclined to philosophical understanding In fact, Aristippus has many more like-minded people. The prospect of receiving maximum pleasure without experiencing suffering seems very attractive, if we abstract from the moral assessment of the egoistic position of “living for your own pleasure.” Yet the roots of selfishness are not so deep that most people can be distracted from the principles of humanistic morality, which rejects the idea of achieving emotions of pleasure at any cost. The inconsistency of the pleasure principle is also obvious from the point of view of human adaptation to the natural and social environment.
The pursuit of pleasure is just as detrimental to people’s physical and mental health as constant troubles, suffering and loss. This is evidenced by studies by doctors and psychologists observing the behavior of people who had electrodes implanted into their brains during treatment. By stimulating various parts of the brain with electricity, the Norwegian scientist Sem-Jacobson discovered zones of experiencing pleasure, fear, disgust, and rage. If his patients were given the opportunity to independently stimulate the “happy zone,” they did it with such zeal that they forgot about food and went into convulsions, continuously closing the contact associated with electrical stimulation of the corresponding part of the brain. The creator of the stress theory, G. Selye, and his followers showed that there is a single physiological mechanism for the body’s adaptation to environmental changes; and the more intense these changes are, the higher the risk of exhaustion of a person’s adaptive capabilities, regardless of whether the changes are pleasant to him or not.
The stress caused by joyful changes can be even greater than the stress caused by troubles. For example, according to the event stress scale developed by American scientists T. Holmes and R. Ray, major personal achievements put a person’s health at risk to a greater extent than friction with a leader. And although the most stressful events turned out to be those associated with losses (death of loved ones, divorce, separation of spouses, illness, etc.), a certain stressful effect was also associated with holidays, vacations, vacations. So turning life into a “continuous holiday” can lead to exhaustion of the body rather than to a constant state of pleasure.
What was said about the inconsistency of the pleasure principle as a criterion for the rational management of emotions can sound a warning only for an optimist who knows how to discover the pleasant sides of life. As for the pessimists, they probably did not expect anything different, since the joys of life in their worldview are worth little compared to the sorrows. A similar point of view was actively defended by the pessimistic philosopher A. Schopenhauer. In support, he cited the results of rather naive experiments performed on himself. For example, he found out how many grains of sugar needed to be eaten to overcome the bitterness of one grain of quinine. He interpreted the fact that ten times more sugar was required in favor of his concept. And so that doubters could themselves emotionally feel the priority of suffering, he called for mentally comparing the pleasure received by the predator and the torment of his victim. Schopenhauer considered the avoidance of suffering to be the only reasonable criterion for managing emotions. The logic of such reasoning led him to the recognition of non-existence as the ideal state of the human race.
The philosophical concept of pessimism will evoke little sympathy from anyone. However, a passive strategy of avoiding suffering is not uncommon. Pessimistic people resign themselves to constant depression because they hope that giving up the active pursuit of success will relieve them of severe stress. However, this is a misconception. The prevailing negative emotional background, characteristic of many people, significantly impairs their productivity and vitality. Of course, it is impossible to completely avoid negative emotions, and, apparently, it is not advisable; they, to a certain extent, organize a person to fight obstacles and counteract danger. A study conducted on monkeys showed that an experienced leader, who has endured many battles, reacts to a stressful situation more favorable from a medical and biological point of view than do young monkeys. However, the constant experience of negative emotions leads to the formation of not only psychological, but also functional negative changes, which, as studies by a team of scientists led by N.P. Bekhtereva have shown, cover all areas of the brain and disrupt its activity.
According to physiologists, a person should not allow his brain to “get used” to troubles. G. Selye strongly recommends striving to forget about the “hopelessly disgusting and painful.” It is necessary, as N.P. Bekhtereva and her colleagues argue, to create for yourself as often as possible, albeit small, but joy that balances the unpleasant emotions experienced. It is necessary to focus on the positive moments of your life, more often remember pleasant moments of the past, and plan actions that can improve your situation. The ability to find joy in the little things in life is inherent in centenarians. In general, it should be noted that psychological type The personality of a long-liver is characterized by such traits as goodwill, lack of feelings of irreconcilable rivalry, hostility and envy.
Currently, there are many psychotherapeutic methods for regulating emotional states. However, most of them require special individual or group lessons. One of the most accessible ways to improve emotional well-being is laughter therapy.
The French doctor G. Rubinstein substantiated the biological nature of the benefits of laughter. Laughter causes a not very sharp, but deep shake-up of the whole body, which leads to muscle relaxation and allows you to relieve tension caused by stress. When laughing, breathing deepens, the lungs absorb three times more air and the blood is enriched with oxygen, blood circulation improves, the heart rhythm calms down, and blood pressure decreases. When laughing, the release of endomorphin, a pain-soothing anti-stress substance, increases, and the body is released from the stress hormone - adrenaline. Dancing has approximately the same mechanism of influence. A certain “dose” of laughter can provide good health and difficult situations, however, an “overdose” of even such a harmless remedy as laughter can lead to a departure from the rational management of emotions. Constant fun is the same escape from life as immersion in gloomy experiences. And it’s not just that emotional extremes can worsen your well-being and health. The imbalance of positive and negative emotions prevents full communication and mutual understanding.
There are two categories of people who will never be understood by others, no matter how much they want it. People will, if possible, avoid those who are constantly dejected, immersed in bitter thoughts about the imperfections of human nature, for fear of becoming infected with a gloomy mood and pessimism. Sometimes it can be difficult to see the difference between the painful state of depression, when a person completely loses the ability to regulate emotions, and the state of “withdrawing” into unpleasant experiences, characteristic of some generally healthy people who find themselves in difficult life situations. But there is still a difference. In painful conditions, negative emotions are directed mainly inward, concentrated around one’s own personality, while “healthy” negative emotions are constantly looking for a victim among others in order to splash out in an aggressive outburst or a bitter complaint. But since most people cannot withstand prolonged exposure to a difficult emotional atmosphere, they begin to avoid communicating with a person immersed in unpleasant experiences. Gradually losing his usual contacts, he is forced to transfer negative emotions onto himself.
What if the ability to rejoice at everything that exists and that can happen is inherent in a person and he is invariably in high spirits, enjoying life in any circumstances? All that remains, it would seem, is to envy and try to follow his example. Indeed, in most neutral communication situations that do not require sympathy, help, or support, merry people evoke sympathy and approval with their ability to not take anything to heart. But only those who know how to rejoice in everything, even the grief of others, can constantly rejoice. Without sharing the suffering of other people, a person risks finding himself in a psychological vacuum when he himself needs support. Constantly being in a rosy mood, he accustoms those around him to a “problem-free” attitude towards himself. And when the time comes for serious tests of strength, a breakdown occurs. According to the observation of psychotherapist V. A. Faivishevsky, the lack of experience in overcoming unpleasant experiences caused by failures and losses can lead to “victory neurosis,” which is observed in constantly successful people at the first failure.
A gross violation of the emotional balance does not benefit anyone, even if a positive emotional background dominates. It may seem that a person who does not lose joy in the presence of suffering people is able to infect them with his mood, lift their spirits and give them cheerfulness. But this is an illusion. It’s easy to defuse situational tension with a joke or a cheerful smile, but it’s just as easy to achieve the opposite effect when faced with a deep experience. In this regard, a parallel can be drawn with the impact of music on human emotions.
It is known that music has a powerful emotional charge, sometimes more powerful than real life events. For example, psychologists who surveyed students, teachers and other employees at Stanford University found that among the factors that arouse emotions, music ranked first, followed by touching scenes in movies and literary works and only on the sixth - love. Of course, one cannot make absolute the data obtained in one study, but one cannot help but admit that the emotional effect of music is very great. Taking this into account, psychologists use the method of music psychotherapy to correct emotional states. In case of emotional disorders of the depressive type, cheerful music only aggravates negative experiences, while melodies that cannot be classified as cheerful bring positive results. So in human communication grief can be softened by compassion or aggravated by serene cheerfulness and routine optimism. Here we return again to empathy - the ability to tune our emotions to the “wave” of other people’s experiences. Thanks to empathy, it is possible to avoid constant immersion in one’s own joys and sorrows. The emotional world of the people around us is so rich and diverse that contact with it leaves no chance for a monopoly of positive or negative experiences. Empathy promotes balance emotional sphere person.
Some philosophers took the principle of balance literally, arguing that in the life of every person the joys exactly correspond to the sufferings and, if you subtract one from the other, the result will be zero. Polish philosopher and art critic V. Tatarkiewicz, who analyzed this kind of research, came to the conclusion that it is impossible to prove or disprove this point of view, since it is impossible to accurately measure and unambiguously compare joys and sufferings. However, Tatarkevich himself does not see any other solution to this problem other than the recognition that “human life tends to equalize pleasant and unpleasant sensations.”
In our opinion, the principle of emotional balance is important not because it can indicate the exact proportion of positive and negative experiences. It is much more important for a person to understand that stable emotional balance as an indicator of reasonable management of emotions cannot be achieved only through situational control over experiences. A person’s satisfaction with his life, activities and relationships with others is not equivalent to the sum of pleasures received at each individual moment. Like a mountain climber who experiences an incomparable feeling of satisfaction at the top precisely because success cost him many unpleasant emotions on the way to his goal, any person receives joy as a result of overcoming difficulties. The small joys of life are necessary to compensate for unpleasant experiences, but one should not expect deep satisfaction from their sum. It is known that children who lack parental affection are drawn to sweets. One candy can relieve a child’s stress for a while, but even a large number of them cannot make him happier.
Each of us is somewhat reminiscent of a child reaching for candy when trying to influence our emotions directly at the moment they arise. The short-term effect obtained through situational management of emotions cannot lead to stable emotional balance. This is due to the stability of a person’s general emotionality. What is emotionality and can it be controlled?
Since the beginning of the twentieth century, the first studies of emotionality have been carried out. Since then, it has been generally accepted that emotional people are distinguished by the fact that they take everything to heart and react violently to trifles, while low-emotional people have enviable composure. Modern psychologists tend to identify emotionality with imbalance, instability, and high excitability.
Emotionality is considered as a stable personality trait associated with its temperament. The famous Soviet psychophysiologist V.D. Nebylitsyn considered emotionality to be one of the main components of human temperament and identified in it such characteristics as impressionability (sensitivity to emotional influences), impulsiveness (quickness and rashness of emotional reactions), lability (dynamism of emotional states). Depending on temperament, a person becomes emotionally involved in various situations with greater or less intensity.
But if emotionality is directly related to temperament, which is based on properties nervous system, then the possibility of intelligently managing emotionality without interfering with physiological processes seems extremely doubtful. Can a choleric person intelligently regulate the intensity of his “choleric” outbursts if his temperament is dominated by impulsiveness - a tendency to quick and rash emotional reactions? He will have time to “break the woods” over a trifle before he realizes that the most reasonable principle for managing emotions is balance. And an imperturbable phlegmatic person, organically incapable of vividly and directly demonstrating his feelings, will always be perceived by others as a person who is deeply indifferent to what is happening. If emotionality is understood only as a combination of strength, speed of occurrence and mobility of emotional reactions, then one area of application remains for the mind: to come to terms with the fact that there are emotional and unemotional people, and to take into account their natural characteristics. This mission of reason itself is extremely important for human understanding.
Features of temperament must be taken into account in various communication situations. For example, you should not be offended by the violent reaction of a choleric person, which more often indicates his impulsiveness than a conscious intention to offend his interlocutor. You can respond in kind without risking causing a long-term conflict. But even one harsh word can permanently unbalance a melancholic person - a vulnerable and impressionable person with a heightened sense of self-esteem.
To learn to relate intelligently to the peculiarities of the emotional make-up of other people, it is not enough to know these peculiarities; you also need to control yourself, maintain balance, no matter how intense your own emotional reactions. This opportunity arises if, from fruitless attempts to influence directly the intensity of emotions, a person moves on to managing situations in which emotions arise and are manifested. A person’s emotional resources are not limitless, and if in some situations they are spent too generously, then in others they begin to feel their shortage. Even hyper-emotional people who seem to others to be inexhaustible in expressing their feelings, when in a calm environment, plunge into an inhibited state to a greater extent than those who are classified as low-emotional. Emotions, as a rule, do not arise spontaneously; they are tied to situations and turn into stable states if the emotiogenic situation persists long time. Such emotions are usually called passion. And the more important one life situation is for a person, the higher the likelihood that one passion will crowd out all the others. Only great passion, argued the French writer Henri Petit, is capable of taming our passions. And his compatriot writer Victor Cherbullier drew attention to the possibility of the opposite effect, arguing that our passions devour each other, and often the big ones are devoured by the small ones.
One of these judgments, at first glance, contradicts the other, but this is not so. You can concentrate all emotional resources in one situation or in one area of life, or you can distribute them in many directions. In the first case, the intensity of emotions will be extreme. But the more emotional situations there are, the lower the intensity of emotions in each of them. Thanks to this dependence, it becomes possible to manage emotions more intelligently than by interfering with their physiological mechanisms and immediate manifestations. Formally, this dependence can be expressed as follows: E == Ie * Ne (where E is the general emotionality of a person, Ie is the intensity of each emotion, Ne is the number of emotional situations).
Essentially, this formula means that a person’s overall emotionality is a constant (a relatively constant value), while the strength and duration of an emotional reaction in each specific situation can vary significantly depending on the number of situations that do not leave a given person indifferent. The law of emotional constancy makes it possible to take a fresh look at established ideas about the gradual age-related decline in emotionality.
It is generally accepted that in youth a person is emotional, but with age, emotionality is largely lost. In fact, with the accumulation of life experience, a person expands the spheres of emotional involvement, more and more situations evoke emotional associations in him, and, consequently, each of them causes a less intense reaction. The general emotionality remains the same, although in every situation observed by others the person behaves more restrained than in his youth. Of course, there are cases when, even with age, the ability to react violently and for a long time to certain events is not lost. But this is typical for people of a fanatical nature who concentrate their emotions in one area and absolutely do not pay attention to what and how is happening in others.
The expansion of the range of emotional situations is facilitated by the general cultural development of the individual. The higher cultural level a person, the greater the restraint in the expression of emotions observed by those around him when communicating with him. Conversely, uncontrollable passions and violent outbursts of emotions, called affects, are usually associated with limited areas of expression of emotions, which is typical for people with a low level of general culture. This is why the role of art in regulating human emotionality is so great. By enriching his spiritual world with aesthetic experiences, a person loses dependence on the all-consuming passions associated with his pragmatic interests.
Taking into account the law of constancy, you can master methods of managing emotions that are aimed not at a hopeless fight against destructive manifestations of emotional extremes, but at creating conditions of life and activity that allow you not to bring yourself to extreme emotional states. We are talking about managing the extensive component of general emotionality - emotional situations.
The first way is distribution of emotions- consists in expanding the range of emotiogenic situations, which leads to a decrease in the intensity of emotions in each of them. The need for conscious distribution of emotions arises when there is an excessive concentration of a person’s experiences. The inability to distribute emotions can lead to significant deterioration in health. Thus, J. Reikowski cites data from a study of the emotional characteristics of people who have had a heart attack. They were asked to recall the most negative events that preceded the illness. It turned out that patients two months after a heart attack recalled significantly fewer stressful events than healthy people. However, the strength and duration of unpleasant experiences about each of these events in patients turned out to be much higher; They were significantly more likely to report feelings of guilt or hostility and difficulty controlling their feelings.
The distribution of emotions occurs as a result of expanding information and social circle. Information about objects new to a person is necessary for the formation of new interests that turn neutral situations into emotional ones. Expanding your social circle performs the same function, since new social and psychological contacts allow a person to find a wider sphere of manifestation of his feelings.
The second way to manage emotions is concentration- necessary in those circumstances when operating conditions require complete concentration of emotions on one thing that is of decisive importance in a certain period of life. In this case, a person consciously excludes a number of emotiogenic situations from the sphere of his activity in order to increase the intensity of emotions in those situations that are most important to him. Various everyday techniques for focusing emotions can be used. The famous film director N. Mikhalkov spoke about one of them. In order to fully concentrate his efforts on the idea of a new film, he shaved his hair and thereby lost the emotional incentive to appear in public again. Popular theater and film actor A. Dzhigarkhanyan formulated for himself the “law of conservation of emotions.” He considers it obligatory to exclude situations at least once a week in which the emotions necessary for creative activity are generously spent. The most common method of focusing emotions is to limit information from usual sources and exclude favorable conditions for activity in those situations that contribute to the “dispersion” of emotions.
The third way to manage emotions is switching- associated with the transfer of experiences from emotiogenic situations to neutral ones. With so-called destructive emotions (anger, rage, aggression), it is necessary to temporarily replace real situations with illusory or socially insignificant ones (using the “scapegoat” principle). If constructive emotions (primarily interests) are concentrated on trifles, illusory objects, then it is necessary to switch to situations that have increased social and cultural value. The use of these methods of managing emotions requires some effort, ingenuity, and imagination. The search for specific techniques depends on the individual and his level of maturity.