5 steps: how to save your marriage in time

With the arrival of autumn, gray clouds thicken not only in the sky, but also in family matters. Psychologists warn: more couples break up in the fall, people become immersed in themselves, engage in soul-searching, easily succumb to depression and dissolve in an amorphous feeling of loneliness. No wonder that autumn is a time of salvation not only human souls, but also breaking up marriages.

Tatiana Pankova

Many people consider this law of relationships to be immutable. Let's try to figure out whether it is possible to combine passion and family life.

Not all of us are selective and hit the target on the first try. In isolated cases, when they “met at school”, a hundred years together and children full house– everything is really good. As they say, once and for life.

Walk, walk like that

More often than not, this “one time” is somewhat different. For example, you dated a man for a week, and forget these wonderful days You haven’t been able to for five years now, and often no, no, the thought flashes through your mind: “Oh, how wonderful it was - not like it is now.” You sigh languidly, drawing his image with your finger on the foggy glass (or, in our realities, looking through it). And your man seems to be excellent, and you are interested in him, and it’s good. But that “prince” really sunk into my soul.

Men fall into many different categories and don't fit into them at all either. There are those in whom we see potential protectors, fortresses, breadwinners and fathers of children. There are others in whom we see nothing, or rather, we don’t imagine any future together with them, but we have so damn much fun and good that it’s impossible to stop this joint futile hedonism. What's really going on?

Reason one. A person who you think is ready for family life, first of all, has a sense of responsibility, restraint, and a rational perception of reality. These qualities really don't go hand in hand with recklessly dancing on the table and diving into the fountain for coins for laughs in the middle of the city. Therefore, one usually interferes with the other.

Reason two. A man who gives you unpredictable animation programs, rather, wants to get an effect not so much for your pleasure as for his own. Whether he is able to cope with marital “displeasures” is a big question.

Readiness number 1

On the other hand, boring and lengthy courtship, banal but confident compliments, text messages in the morning and evening - all these are good signs that a man has serious intentions.

A responsible gentleman will always call and write so that you don’t forget about him. “Prince” will not call or write, because you already remember him and will happily rush to the first call. Any time of the day or night. However, in most cases there is less sense in purposeful dalliances than in superficial dates. And there are reasons for this too.

Reason one. It happens that the choice of a partner in the direction of “romance” or “marriage” depends on goals and age. For example, at twenty years old a woman cannot fully assess future prospects in a relationship due to inexperience and naivety, much less distinguish true feelings from mere entertainment. In addition, at a young age, almost every man nearby, at the level of girlish dreams, is positioned as the love of his life. At the level of sober calculation, it is almost not positioned, since calculation is difficult at this age. You begin to understand many things only with time.

Reason two. The difference is that strong emotions, unbridled passion and love are wonderful, but they are not always the basis for building a strong and lasting marriage. In addition, falling in love will pass quite quickly, and you will become closer and learn about each other’s shortcomings and disadvantages.

Several ways to combine

Of course, no one denies that women most often marry for love, but for a marriage to be calm, love must be a feeling of a slightly different order. Based rather on rational things and conclusions, it guarantees not only harmony, but also the longevity of the union. It is possible and necessary to rush headlong into the pool, but when it comes to family, it is better to be a little more restrained and selective, so that the initial fun does not turn into tragedy and misunderstanding of the spouses.

Method one. The initial impression is just an image; it takes time to truly know what a man is capable of. Both in the case of a quiet boyfriend and in relation to a bright macho, be patient and watch the development of events.

Method two. The dilemma may not lie in masculine qualities, but in your inability to decide. If your soul is drawn to a whirlwind romance, perhaps you simply do not have enough impressions. And if you want to hide in a quiet haven, you want to take a break. Sometimes we use relationships to give ourselves permission to...

I need your love - is that true? Katie Byron

My whirlwind romance

My whirlwind romance

I dreamed of stormy meetings with my lover, I wanted his touch, I wanted more intense sexual sensations than with my husband; By breaking social norms, I wanted to bring adventure back into my life. I wanted him to see me as adventurous, sexually attractive, young and beautiful (I'm in my mid-thirties), smart, articulate, and in every sense desired woman. I tried to be perfect, tried to satisfy all his (mainly sexual) needs, to be always ready to communicate with him, to resolve any difficulties without nerves. To hide the betrayal, I shrouded my husband in a veil of deception. I was afraid of being rejected and fought this fear by pretending to satisfy my lover's every need. I knew only one way to his heart - to be what he wanted me to be. As it turned out, it became a magic turnaround potion. I didn't win his heart. In essence, all this pushed him away from me.

I didn’t like myself then; I became a hostage to my own expectations. Cheating on my husband was a type of lack of trust and reliability and security that I felt. I betrayed myself when I lowered my self-esteem so much. I constantly felt guilty. She constantly went beyond her own limits and punished herself for it. I just wasn't living in the moment; I always wanted things to be different. I wanted my husband to be wilder, more sexual - like my lover, and my lover to be more sedate and reliable - like my husband.

Just by realizing how desperately I was for love and approval, my life began to change in the most dramatic ways. I suddenly had more love than I could take. When my lover ended our relationship, I realized that ultimately I could only belong to myself. My relationships with people have improved on all levels.

I have always been offended by my husband for his self-centeredness; If such a thought occurs to me now, I immediately question it. I like to judge him without any self-control, the way an angry child judges, and then examine each thought and deal with each of them reversal I like to give him the opportunity to be who he is and not want to change him. It became much easier for me to say “No” to him and not feel guilty.

Now I know that love comes from within myself. Every moment is valuable for what it is, and my angry or painful thoughts even help me look inside even deeper. For example, I used to think: I need my husband to travel less; Now I like both his stay at home and his departures. His activities are his business, and this rarely affects the happiness found in my heart.

Now I can be insulted, accused, ignored, scolded (I have teenage children), but my inner peace will not be shaken. As long as I question my own thoughts, I can remain soft and gentle.

The Duchess of Melbourne was right when she said that her daughter-in-law was having a whirlwind affair with Lord Byron.

This season, Byron was in unimaginable favor, in salons, living rooms, ballrooms, and simply at meetings, only people talked about him. Even several very scandalous incidents and two marriages with outright misalliance passed the attention of the world due to the sensational “Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage.” But Lady Caroline reacted especially violently to Byron. She fell head over heels in love, forgetting that she was married and that her behavior was already causing ridicule.

Byron became a regular at Melbourne House almost immediately after meeting Lady Caroline, or rather, after she wrote him a letter. The message was anonymous, but it was written smartly and interestingly, and therefore Byron liked it. However, he did not have time to find out who the letter was from when he received the second one. Caroline again did not give her name, but she praised his intelligence and poetic gift and begged him not to give up his literary studies.

Byron laughed: he had no intention of doing this, although he refused money for the publication of his poem, considering it indecent to receive payment for pleasure. And yet I tried to find out who the letter was from. It turned out to be easy, Rogers easily suggested:

Lady Caroline Lamb, if you wish, I will introduce you.

The poet nodded:

Maybe…

He had heard a lot about the lady’s eccentricity, about her remarkable intelligence and willfulness, about the fact that nervousness of character negates the good qualities of her nature. But the main thing for the poet was the understanding that Lady Caroline did not seek his attention in the general crowd, but found a more acceptable way of communication. And although they wrote to him a lot and often, especially from ladies, Caroline’s message seemed to Byron different from the rest.

Soon they were introduced to each other. It happened in the drawing room of Lady and Lord Holland. Bending over Caroline’s slender hand, Byron quietly asked:

But this offer was made to you earlier. May I ask why you refused then?

Caroline flushed:

You were surrounded by too many fans.

A smile touched his beautiful lips:

I usually don't notice them.

That's why I tried not to get lost in the crowd.

You couldn't do it, my lady. May I visit you to answer your letter?

Caroline flushed again:

Yes, sure.

In the morning, she suffered for some time, not daring to do her usual things for fear that Byron, when he arrived, might either not find her at home, or, on the contrary, find her doing something inappropriate. But then she mentally laughed at herself: “He probably promised to pay visits to half of London!” - and rang the bell, ordering the riding habit to be carried.

However, I couldn’t drive for a long time; something forced me to hurry home.

That's right - there was a carriage standing at the front porch of Melbourne House! Is it really Byron?! It was with difficulty that I managed to restrain myself from rushing up the stairs.

George, do we have guests?

Yes, my lady, Mister Rogers and Mister Moore.

She almost shouted:

And Byron?!

But she restrained herself, smiling slightly.

The poet's friends were sitting in the living room, having a conversation with William Lamb, who was clearly in a hurry somewhere, because he was noticeably happy:

Here comes Caroline! Darling, you will entertain our guests with a conversation, they are already waiting for me.

Yes, sure. - Caroline habitually offered her cheek for a kiss; Rogers and Moore were usual guests in this house, and therefore it was possible to portray a happy married couple in front of them.

Looking at the Lamb couple, Rogers sometimes wondered: are William and Caroline really happy with each other, or is this a game that has already become part of the blood and flesh and has become so familiar that it is played even in the marital bedroom? It looks like the first one. Rogers knew they were married if not by mutual love, then by agreement that William definitely loves his restless wife and forgives Caroline her fleeting hobbies, pretending that they all happen with his consent.

The husband left, and in the living room the conversation began, of course, about Byron! No one else or anything else was talked about that season.

Caroline really wanted to talk about her hobby, but she sat as if on pins and needles, because after the horseback ride she really wanted to get herself in order. However, it was rude to leave the guests. And suddenly…

Lord Byron!

Here Carolina still could not stand it:

Oh, keep your friend busy for a minute, I’ll change clothes and wash up after the walk! Apologize for me, please.

When Byron, limping, entered the living room, he, to his amazement, found not the lovely hostess there, but his own friends, choking with laughter.

And Lady Caroline?..

Will now be. Sit down and wait!

When Caroline returned to the living room with an apology, secretly worried that all three friends would not leave her during this time, Rogers grinned:

You happy man, Lord Byron. Lady Caroline sat here with us, looking dirty, but as soon as we heard about your arrival, she rushed off to put her beauty in order. Moore and I weren't worth the trouble.

Caroline threw a withering look at Rogers, promising to forever close the doors of Melbourne House to the chatterbox, and apologized for her involuntary absence:

Please excuse me, I actually went off to change clothes as I was wearing a riding habit after a horse ride. But Mister Rogers is unfair, I'm never dirty!

Rogers leaned over her hand.

I hope, goddess, you will not refuse me the house because of such tactlessness? I beg you to forgive me.

Their announcement about the next visitors helped them out. Rogers asked:

May I take my leave?

Moore then approached the hand with the same question. Caroline bit her lip with annoyance: if Byron also leaves, then who knows whether he will come again? But Byron, in turn, approaching the hostess’s hand, taking advantage of the fact that his friends were already at the door and the new guests had not yet entered, quietly complained:

There is a crowd around you too. Can I come when you are alone?

Today at eight.

He just bowed his head in agreement.

Now Caroline did not care about Rogers and Moore, but the thought flashed through her mind, as a punishment for tactlessness, to demand that Rogers bring Byron for a visit again and at a more appropriate time.

Byron actually arrived at eight, but categorically refused to have dinner, saying that he ate nothing but biscuits and sparkling water. Caroline immediately ordered to bring both, but again there was a refusal, supposedly the guest was already full and would just wait until the hosts were satisfied.

Caroline immediately pretended that she was suffering from a lack of appetite this morning, although in reality she was suffering from the inability to eat. She managed to take a licorice candy into her mouth and was content with that. Later, the poor woman was glad that she did not sit down at the table despite the guest’s refusals. It turns out that Byron could not stand the sight of chewing women, believing that they were only allowed to consume lobster and champagne.

Where such a strange idea came from, he himself could not answer, but the sight of female jaws grinding even tender soufflé, disgusted him.

“How will he look at his chewing wife?!” - Caroline was mentally horrified, but immediately reassured herself that, having fallen in love, the poet would certainly forgive his beloved even more obvious “sins” than eating food.

That evening the chef offered pieces of chicken in a creamy wine sauce, wrapped in thin, almost transparent pancakes, also thinly sliced ​​country bacon, lamb chops, creamed cod, trout sprinkled with dill and generously sprinkled with lemon juice, salmon stewed in white wine a bed of greens, fruits and small cakes - almond, honey and cinnamon.

But no matter how hungry Lady Lamb was, she quickly forgot both the mind-blowing smells wafting from the dining room and her hunger, she was completely fascinated by the poet and was ready to starve for the sake of communicating with him, but she had no idea what to do with the rest of the inhabitants of Melbourne House, all At eight o'clock in the evening, an elegant company usually gathered at their place and consumed not only lobster and champagne.

A solution was found quickly; Byron would prefer to visit the house in the morning, but so that the hostess would not have a crowd of guests. Moreover, because of his limp, Byron did not dance and was not too fond of the sight of couples whirling in a dance, especially in a waltz. It was unbearable for him to sit on the sidelines with the old women, observing someone else’s grace and quietly suffering.

And Lady Caroline Lamb, who adored balls and guests with luxurious dinners, gave up everything! For the next nine months, almost the only guest at Melbourne House was Lord Byron, who arrived at eleven and left almost midnight! The doors of the luxurious Melbourne mansion were closed to the regulars for the sake of Caroline's communication with the poet; she did not even accept his own friends - Rogers and Moore! Melbourne House, famous for its balls and receptions, was now dark and quiet in the evenings.

On the very first evening, having seen Byron off and being impressed by the conversation with him, Caroline found the courage to go to her husband. William Lamb sat in the library, idly leafing through big album about hunting.

William…

Yes darling…

Today we had Lord Byron with us all evening.

I know. I didn’t want to disturb your conversation, so I went straight to the library.

We talked for a very long time...

Yes, it must have been interesting?

Oh, yes, he talked about the curse weighing on his family, about his journey through the East...

Caroline talked and talked, after a moment as if forgetting about her husband, her eyes sparkled. William couldn’t help but understand that his wife was passionate about the poet, but he didn’t see anything wrong with that. He liked Byron, too.

William, I would like you to talk with Lord Byron at least occasionally.

Lamb thought: “Watch your wife look lovingly at another, even a famous poet? Excuse me,” but said something else:

If I have such an opportunity. But I don’t like the East too much, I don’t understand why women admire Lord Byron’s stories about the superiority of men in the countries he visited. Slave woman, does that seduce you?

A woman in love is ready to become a slave.

“I see that,” William muttered quietly.

William, Lord Byron decided to visit us in the morning. You do not mind?

But in the morning you always have a lot of other guests. And why do you ask? Did I ever forbid you to communicate with interesting people? Just try not to give rise to gossip and bad talk.

Oh, this? But you know our ladies, a few appearances of Lord Byron in our house will be enough for everyone to decide that he is my lover.

Lam already understood that this is exactly what they would say, and what’s more, it would be true. But Caroline fell in love so easily that no real danger was foreseen yet. Still, he thought that he needed to consult his mother.

I will try to be present at your conversations so that these rumors will dissipate, but I would not like to interfere, perhaps my presence will embarrass Lord Byron.

Caroline felt confused. When she saw Byron for the first time, she wrote in her diary that this beautiful pale face was her destiny. Now, after a whole evening of communication, the woman felt that she could not think about anything other than tomorrow’s meeting. She forgot that she had been left without lunch, had no dinner, and allowed herself to be undressed, almost not understanding what was happening. She lay awake for a long time, staring into the darkness and turning over in her memory every word spoken in a dull voice, everything seemed important and significant.

Of course, such a person could not compare with anyone, only he could write “Childe Harold” and would write many more brilliant works. Oh, how lucky she is that such a person not only visits her home, but also chooses her for confidential conversations and makes her happy with his friendship!

Caroline was in seventh heaven.

Dawn was already dawning outside the windows when sleep finally closed her tired eyelids. There was very little time left to sleep, because Lord Byron promised to arrive at eleven, by which time she should be ready and have time to have breakfast, so as not to embarrass him with her appearance while chewing. Caroline did not think that Byron’s demands were absurd, that in someone else’s house it was not customary to dictate one’s own terms, she believed that a brilliant poet could do anything!

If he doesn’t want to see a woman chewing, she will eat early in the morning and late at night, so as not to irritate Byron; he doesn’t even like his own friends at Melbourne House, which means that the rest will be turned away. Byron doesn't like dancing, so there won't be any more balls at Melbourne House this season. The poet wants to spend his days almost in solitude, which means she, too, will refuse noisy parties and visitors.

Carolina in love was ready to do anything if only the poet would come into their house every day!

While the happy wife was figuring out how to get rid of the guests and cancel the planned balls, William Lamb still decided to consult with his mother. He was not his mother’s boy, but he rightly believed that she understood his wife Caro better.

The Duchess of Melbourne was a personality no less remarkable than Byron, only without the tragic touch. No, Lady Elizabeth did not write poems or even prose works unlike her friend the Duchess of Devonshire, but she was an exceptionally wise woman, which is sometimes more important than the greatest poetic talent.

Good morning dear.

Lady Elizabeth loved this son more, who was similar to Lord Egremont, and was not shy about demonstrating such love. The Duke of Melbourne just as openly showed his preference for his eldest son over his younger one. However, this did not prevent the family from living quite amicably, largely thanks to the feminine wisdom of Lady Elizabeth herself. Having managed to give birth to children from different lovers, she nevertheless gave birth to the eldest from her husband, and, apart from the similarity of the offspring, no one could blame her for having love affairs with someone, although everyone knew perfectly well that such existed.

In this regard, the Duchess of Melbourne was considered a model woman. Free enough to behave as she wanted, the Duchess was smart enough so that this behavior would not shock either her husband or society. Everyone knew about her numerous love affairs even at her present, very advanced age, but no one could blame Lady Melbourne for this. She gave birth to an heir from her husband, and their own fathers took a significant part in the destinies of the remaining children, also without advertising either paternity or assistance.

The Duchess of Melbourne believed that a woman can do whatever she wants, but skillfully hide her hobbies, which her youngest daughter-in-law Caroline was completely unable to do. William's wife has what's on her mind and what's on her tongue.

Lady Elizabeth would have been an excellent mentor to Annabella if she had felt it necessary to have a mentor. Even on his last visit, Sir Milbank tried to explain to his daughter that it wouldn’t hurt to follow the example of her aunt, but Annabella just shrugged her shoulders obstinately:

Take an example from a woman whose main concern is to hide her love affairs even at sixty? I have slightly different interests, dad.

However, Lady Elizabeth's wisdom cannot be denied.

William went to his wise mother for advice.

Good morning, Mom. How do you feel?

Mother and son communicated without witnesses without any ceremony, this was also evidence of their spiritual closeness.

Not bad at all, considering my age.

Oh, for God's sake! Should I talk about this?

I am young at heart, dear, but my body has been in this world too long not to remind me of this. How are you doing?

I'm fine. We have a guest, you know?

Lord Byron? Another love of your restless Caro.

Do you even know about this?

The Duchess smiled:

I would be a bad housewife if I didn’t know who was staying in our house. Lord Byron has been telling your Caro about himself for three days now. Yesterday and today he was with us from the very morning, before that he was in the evening.

William laughed involuntarily:

You truly don't need to leave your room to know everything.

Everything is much simpler, Caroline canceled this evening under the pretext of my well-being and announced this to me as if Lord Byron had saved me from imminent death by his appearance.

Are you happy about this?

The Duchess laughed:

I’m really glad, after an illness it’s difficult to receive guests, but I’m afraid if your frantic wife cancels all other receptions and balls, you’ll have to accept condolences on my behalf. serious condition. Everyone already decided that I was bad, look how many notes there are with questions.

There were indeed a dozen sheets of paper lying on the table; apparently, the duchess’s acquaintances, concerned about the cancellation of the evening reception, found it necessary to inquire about her well-being.

I'll tell Caro not to dare do this! If she doesn’t want to appear at the reception herself because of the guest, let her sit with him in her living room.

No, no, you don’t need to say any of this. I hate to say this, but your wife is... Once again she is in love and does not find it necessary to hide it. William, he’d rather shine his eyes in his own living room than do it in someone’s salon or at a ball. By the way, she canceled tonight precisely because of dancing, since Byron doesn’t dance.

William just spread his hands:

What can I do about Caro? No wonder they call her frantic.

No wonder she's in love with Byron. She is not alone, if the poet managed to charm Annabella, then it is not surprising...

Bell? Really?

Yes, Ralph came to consult me ​​on what to do because of this love.

If even Annabella could not resist his charm, then Caro’s love should not be surprising.

Mother and son laughed with pleasure, joked about the current situation and came to the conclusion that it was better to “keep Byron to yourself,” that is, in his house, especially since both the Duchess of Melbourne and William himself liked him.

For more than six months, Byron became a regular at the Melbourne mansion, spending several hours almost every day in Caroline's living room or in conversations with Lady Melbourne or William.

Byron was returning home, impressed by his long conversation with Lady Caroline to such an extent that he did not pay attention to the carriage standing near the house, so he shuddered when he heard the voice of Thomas Moore:

Finally! This is no good, we'll be late for the club!

Club? What club?

My God! Have you forgotten that there is a meeting scheduled for today with a possible buyer of Newstead?!

Byron frowned, fascinated by the attention shown to him by Lady Caroline, and even more by his own stories about his difficult fate, he completely forgot that the sale of the family estate was being prepared - the only thing he had left, not counting the ability to write. However, he did not take money for the poem, considering it indecent, but he needed to live on something; creditors were already besieging the house. Newstead really needs to be sold, and there is no way to miss a meeting with the buyer, in difficult times there are few of those.

Hobhouse said that they could try to sell the estate at auction for a higher price, but Rogers doubted this, and besides, the auction was not coming soon, and money was needed now. If the prospective buyer puts up a deposit, it will be possible to pay off priority debts and, at least for a while, forget about creditors.

How far is it all from beautiful woman in a beautiful mansion, for which financial worries are something incomprehensible and too distant! At that moment, Byron passionately wanted to become rich, so as not to remember about debts and the need to get money somewhere.

Just a minute,” he sat down at the table, intending to write something.

What is this? Are you going to write a couple more poems when they’re already waiting for us?!

No, just a note to Lady Caroline Lamb.

You just left her? The servant said you were at Melbourne House.

Yes, I was there, but I promised to return, but now I can’t. Moreover, after a painful conversation, I don’t want to spoil Lady Caroline’s mood at all. You'll have to explain your absence.

He quickly sprinkled sand on what he had written, looked through it, folded it, and sealed the letter.

John, this is at Melbourne House for Lady Caroline. Urgently! And get dressed.

For a walk, my lord?

No, for a business meeting,” Byron sighed.

Moore watched his friend in amazement. They became friends unexpectedly. Byron, in his poetic lines, more than once, without thinking at all about the consequences, undeservedly offended his acquaintances and strangers, then apologized, but still made enemies more than once.

Thomas Moore almost became one too. Offended by such an attack from the poet, he sent a letter to Byron challenging him to a duel, but the poet’s letter was no longer found in London; he left for the continent on his famous journey.

When Byron returned, Thomas Moore considered himself obliged to remind him of the challenge and asked the poet why he did not answer the letter. The Lord had to find the letter and present it to Moore unopened with a response offer to either apologize or satisfy the demands. Moore, who by that time was happily married and was not at all thirsty for blood, since the anger had already passed, suggested replacing the duel with breakfast, and at Rogers’ house.

So they became friends. Rogers began to praise everyone’s new friend’s poem, and at the same time tell tall tales about his adventures, stirring up interest in the poet’s person. Now they actively helped Byron sell his only possessions - the Newstead estate and inherited lands.

The friends were against the sale of Newstead, although the estate did not bring in a decent income. For it to become profitable, you need to go there and farm in the rural wilderness. Byron could do the first, he had long been attracted to solitude, but the second was absolutely not. For a poet, being involved in the affairs of the estate is tantamount to exile to the mines. The managers understood this very well, and therefore, without fear of inspections, they shamelessly idle, earning money only for their own needs.

Still, selling Newstead is dangerous; Rogers resisted for good reason. He understood well that Byron would quickly spend even the considerable funds that he received for the estate, and there was simply nowhere to get new ones.

But a buyer was found, he agreed to purchase the estate for one hundred and forty thousand pounds sterling - a huge amount, and also promised to pay a deposit of twenty-five thousand pounds. Twenty-five thousand for Byron, in his position as a desperate debtor, was manna from heaven, allowing him to pay off the most urgent debts, so the poet agreed to say goodbye to the family estate immediately.

You need to marry a rich girl immediately so that the dowry can save Newstead!

Byron looked at Moore with a grin.

For some quail to chirp in my ears from morning to evening?

But are you listening to your lady Caroline's chirps?

The poet sighed:

This is different...

You’ve been missing in the Melbourne house for a week now, Caroline canceled all the balls and receptions, closed the doors even to Rogers and me, knowing full well that we are your friends. What's going on, George? How does the Duchess of Melbourne feel about this? And William?

Surprising, but good. We almost became friends with William Lamb; he is not at all a weakling, as he sometimes seems from the outside. Smart, strong, but still crazy about his Caroline, and therefore cannot resist any of her tricks.

Are you a freak too? Moore laughed.

Byron nodded.

I don't like this hobby. Nobody likes it. No matter how it develops into something strong... Lady Caroline is a person who is too carried away. Don't make things difficult for yourself.

I have no illusions. Lady Caro is too capricious and fickle to fall in love with someone for a long time, and besides, I have not been involved with any woman for a long time myself. It’s hardly worth taking things further than simple, non-binding flirting.

Caro? Are you allowed to call her that? It's gone far...

Byron laughed, but it was forced.

Moore decided it was time to get involved, but first the sale of Newstead. It’s good that Byron’s old friend Hobhouse, who has great influence on the poet, is returning tomorrow; maybe together they will be able to convince Byron to get rid of Caroline Lamb in order to avoid future complications. Dealing with the frantic Caro is dangerous...

Caroline completely lost her head, she could neither talk nor even think about anyone other than Byron. At first William chuckled, but pretty soon it began to go beyond all limits, Lady Lamb seemed to have forgotten about the existence of her husband, her responsibilities, the opinions of the world... Every day she spent hours listening to her idol’s stories about everything in the world: about family curse, about the death of everyone he loves, about his heart of marble, about oriental beauties and the unusual for London relationships between men and women in the East...

He spoke much more than he himself wanted, and, of course, more than he should have. Caroline was simply an excellent listener; she, without stopping, looked into his pale face and listened, simply holding her breath. Byron understood that Lady Lamb perceived him as Childe Harold, and therefore unconsciously strived to be like her hero. In front of such a grateful listener, this turned out to be easy.

The frantic Caroline fell in love, there was not the slightest doubt for her that Byron was the best and mysterious person in the world. He is so unlike the calm, reserved William, like no one else! Oh, how lucky she is to have met such a person in her life and how far she is from Byron! How petty, stupid, untalented she is, and what a boring life she has lived!

How to explain to an idol that a frantic heart beats in her chest, capable of love and suffering? Caro did not even dare to dream about becoming his mistress. Byron was a god who descended from heaven only for a brief moment to show everyone, and especially her, how empty and worthless others were.

The week passed in conversations in the small living room, where Caroline listened to the stories of her deity, trying not to breathe, so as not to frighten off his inspiration. All receptions at Melbourne House were cancelled, balls were forgotten, and friends were expelled, only Byron had the right to come to this house. Since Caroline herself was usually the ringleader of noisy events, so far no one had objected to the quiet.

But balls and receptions were held not only at Melbourne House, others were not going to cancel their evenings for the sake of Byron’s communication with Lady Caroline, both the Melbournes and Byron received invitations to other houses, the season in London continued.

One evening, an excited Annabella approached Caroline. Byron had not arrived yet, and Caroline looked around a little confused. She has already refused three young people who invited them to dance:

No, no, I don't dance!

Everyone who heard this wanted to ask: “Since when?” Because it is difficult to find a greater lover of waltzes in London, Lady Caroline always twirled with true pleasure. Annabella could not stand it and asked:

Something happened? You always danced...

Caroline whispered conspiratorially:

I promised Byron not to dance the waltz, it’s unpleasant for him to see me with someone else.

Annabella was glad to have the opportunity to talk about Byron.

Caroline, could you ask Byron to read my poems? Let him express his opinion frankly, maybe I shouldn’t write?

If Annabella had said this in another place and time, Caro would have screamed:

Of course not! And to demand that Byron read it, even more so!

But at that moment she noticed the poet in the doorway and, realizing that the ladies were about to attack Byron, she almost snatched the small leaves from Annabella and put them in her glove:

I'll pass it on!

Caroline did not have to push her rivals aside; Byron himself made his way to her to announce that she needed to go to Newstead. It was a blow to poor Caro, fortunately Moore came up and poured balm on her poor heart, saying that the buyer would not be able to go anywhere until next week.

The conversation turned to what needs to be done to avoid getting bored. Caroline understood everything in her own way and immediately promised to end her seclusion and introduce Byron to all London society:

This is easier to do in the morning. I will invite everyone to Melbourne House interesting people London.

Byron laughed tightly.

Isn't it easier to demonstrate me directly from the theater stage?

Oh, no, I don't intend to show you off, Lord Byron! On the contrary, I will invite everyone who is worthy of being introduced to you to small receptions and you will choose your new friends yourself.

The old ones are quite enough for me... - muttered Byron, who did not like noisy receptions.

Annabella, watching them from afar, sighed with regret, realizing that Caroline was not interested in her poems, and therefore it was unlikely that the lines would get to Byron. I had to decide to convey it myself, after all, they know each other...

She didn’t think that Byron was not interested in someone’s poetic opuses.

The poet felt very uncomfortable. On the one hand, he really liked everyone’s attention and even worship, on the other hand, he dreamed of solitude, although not really imagining what he would do if he were in the village, hunting and walking all year round impossible.

But that wasn’t even what bothered Byron; he felt like he was getting confused.

Caroline Lamb decided to help the poet get used to the world and, remembering that he does not dance, canceled all balls and dance evenings, replacing them with morning receptions, which were now considered no less prestigious than royal receptions - Byron was present at them! In the mornings, only a select few visited Melbourne House, and the hostess tried to diversify the society so that the poet could meet as many people as possible and choose who he would prefer to keep among his acquaintances and who not. There is no doubt that there were no more second chances to get into Melbourne House.

Byron liked Caroline's care and at the same time was burdened by everything that this woman did. The poet did not at all like to be obliged and was rarely grateful.

And yet this was not the main thing!

More than once Byron wondered why it was so difficult for him next to Caroline, who tries to please in everything and never contradicts? Everyone who knew Lady Lamb was amazed; Caroline was not like herself, she became obedient and even submissive, which was never observed in William’s obstinate wife. All his friends told him that Caroline was crazy, that any hobby she had lasted no longer than a week, that she was capable of making any joke! They warned openly, but Byron saw a completely different Caroline in front of him - obedient, meekly accepting any criticism and trying to please in everything.

Everything was simple - she fell in love, and for the first time in her life, truly, and therefore was ready to endure any reproach from her lover and do whatever he demanded. While Byron did not understand this, nor did he understand that jokes are bad with a frantic woman, and even more so with Caroline, who is in love to the point of unconsciousness.

Did Byron love you back? Later, he openly asserted that no, they say, there is nothing in Lady Caroline that he values ​​in a woman, she is “not his type.”

Then it’s all the more unsightly how Byron treated Caroline. To begin with, the poet simply used Lady Lamb's social connections to enter the most closed, snobbish part of London. high society, where Caroline introduced him with pleasure, even sacrificing her own reputation.

Secondly, he did not remain in the position of a friend, having crossed the border of a platonic relationship; he, and not she, insisted on intimacy, suddenly asking in the carriage where they were traveling alone to kiss him on the lips. The woman in love still did not dare to fulfill the request with the passion that she felt; she only touched his cheek with her lips.

On the lips, Karo, on the lips!

Later, he repeated many times that she was ugly in his opinion, that he did not like such women, that Caroline was too thin and impulsive, that she had a boyish figure and too eccentric character. Why then develop relations further? Byron could not help but understand that Caroline was in love, that she was ready to cross any boundaries at his request, he understood that he was acting vilely not only towards the woman in love, but also towards her husband, whom, according to him, he respected.

What was it on his part: a deliberate violation of all divine and human rules, an attempt to prove to himself that everything is permissible to him, that he is above any moral requirements? Later he will destroy two more women, precisely trying to prove that he can do anything. In general, Lord Byron killed a great many women's destinies, considering himself superior to any of the women he met.

Caroline kissed her lover on the lips and couldn’t stop... She didn’t think about her husband, she simply couldn’t think about anyone else except her idol, but Byron couldn’t help but think about William. However, having seduced his wife, he blamed Caroline for everything, not himself. “The adulterous wife”... Why would he need this if Karo is not his type? If necessary, he could sleep with anyone, famous poet there was no refusal. But Byron chose to ruin Caroline's life.

He was cruel, sometimes just unbearably cruel. This happens when a person, feeling that he is wrong in relation to another, does not even want to admit this wrong to himself and begins to take revenge on the innocent for his meanness.

A strange gift - a rose and a carnation.

I know that you are not capable of being carried away by anything for more than a moment. Let's see if at least one flower will survive your love for me.

Caroline, in amazement, couldn’t even find anything to object to, especially since Byron tried to surround himself with ladies, knowing full well that she would not push the crowd aside. The woman in love responded with a sincere letter.

“I am not a rose or a carnation, I am rather a sunflower that turns after the sun. I am unable to see anyone else but you..."

Byron got angry: “Who needs her love?!”

And again I didn’t feel very comfortable, although I hardly understood why. Caroline was sincere, she loved and did not hide it, she was ready for any sacrifice and to trample on the opinion of the world, but he? In words in his poem, being so free from the opinions of others, independent and cynical, in reality he remained only cynical. It was Caroline who could despise the opinion of the crowd, Byron could not. The “free” poet turned out to be much more unfree than his restless mistress.

You love your husband, but you are just playing with me!

She should have asked who was playing whom, but Caroline instead swore to Byron her love and readiness to do anything for him.

What proof do I have to give, George?

But he bitterly began to reprimand that he could not be loved because of his lameness, that he could not jump and dance like everyone else, and therefore was despicable.

But I don’t dance anymore either. It doesn't matter at all, no big deal.

Of course, my husband wouldn’t demand that! He is Hyperion, and I am an insignificant satyr next to him! Satyr and nothing more! And don't try to convince me otherwise!

Caroline thought about how to prove to her lover that she does not notice anyone else. Byron took this as a pause and thought and began to shout:

My God! You don't want to say that you love me more than William! You will pay for this, with these hands I will squeeze your insignificant stubborn heart, incapable of love!

It was both cruel and unfair, but what could the unfortunate woman object to? If she could look at what was happening from the outside, she would easily see how dishonest Byron was towards her, she would understand that there was not a spark of love in his heart, rather it was vanity and pride that demanded to humiliate the one who had laid everything at his feet. everything she could - heart, honor, reputation...

Caroline is not the first, but not the last; more than one woman will sacrifice everything for the lame poet, receiving in return only his contempt and curses.

“I have never met a woman with greater talents than you have... Your heart, my poor Caro, is like a small volcano, spewing boiling lava. But I wouldn’t want it to become even a little colder... I have always considered you the smartest, the most attractive, the most unpredictable, the most open, amazing, dangerous, charming creature... all the beauties fade next to you, because you are the best... »

The lines of the letter blurred the tears; how could Caroline help but cry while reading such a message from her lover?

Oh Byron!..

When did he lie - then or later? If I didn’t love you, then how could I write such lines?! If this is sincere, then how could he later abandon her in front of the whole world, make her a laughing stock, betray her and be the first to point the finger?

In any case, Caroline had the right to take revenge, she took revenge. But then this was still far away; Lady Caroline loved madly and believed every word her lover wrote and spoke. How could she have thought that this was a lie?

Caroline herself, in her first letter, offered all her jewels at his disposal - family jewels and those donated by William, she didn’t care, the main thing was that Byron would not be tormented by earthly worries.

He felt this sacrifice and his falseness, he felt his readiness to betray and sell, and therefore he humiliated her more and more.

Passions ran high...

Annabella was in vain afraid that Caroline would hide her poems simply out of envy or ill will. Lady Lamb showed her cousin's essay to her lover. Byron read and did not even miss the opportunity to once again humiliate Caroline:

Your cousin has undeniable talent, not like you! She could become a poet if she wanted. There are a lot of smart thoughts in this head.

What should I tell Annabella? When can you meet her?

Meet? - Byron did not intend to sing the praises of anyone other than himself. He was ready to recognize Pop as a poet of genius, but only because he was no longer in the world. Of the living, Byron and only Byron, the rest simply did not have the right to spoil the paper! And even more so some girl. - No, she is too good for a fallen angel, too perfect for me.

So what should I tell my cousin?

Say whatever you think is necessary. I don't care.

The calculation is subtle - Caroline is unlikely to convey words of praise to her cousin, women are not capable of such objectivity, which means that it will always be possible to blame it on her. But Caroline was not going to hide the flattering review, not suspecting that Byron had read every other line, but rather praised her to annoy her. True, it was not possible to reassure the young poetess; she was tired of watching Byron courting Caroline, and Sir Milbank hurried to take his daughter back to Seaham.

This season ended prematurely and with nothing for Annabella Milbank. She refused those who asked for her hand in marriage, and Lord Byron did not bother to pay attention to the aspiring poetess. Of course, Annabella did not doubt for a minute that these were the machinations of stupid Caroline; day after day, entries condemning Lady Lamb appeared in the diary.

And Annabella was completely convinced that Caroline was to blame for everything, and Byron repented of love affair with someone else's wife and he himself is not able to correct the situation. The girl considered it her Christian duty to save the poet, but he did not even look in the direction of the voluntary savior; he continued his stormy affair with the destroyer. How does Annabella know that it is not Caroline who destroys Byron, but he destroys her!

The Milbanks returned to Seaham without saying goodbye to almost anyone, it was more like an escape, and Mr. Milbank frowned, although Annabella publicly declared that she was tired of London noise and the empty chatter of London drawing rooms. Sir Ralph thought sadly that if this terrible Byron had paid attention to his daughter, Annabella would have found the chatter very pleasant.

But he was glad to return, because there was no need to expect new proposals this season, but his daughter could easily get into some kind of story with this libertine. Sir Ralph is not blind or stupid, he knew very well about the poet’s affair with his nephew’s wife, pitied William, whom, like his sister, he loved more than others, and was indignant because of his wife’s dissipation.

Maybe it was in vain that Annabella did not accept August Foster’s proposal; in America there is no such Byron from whom careful parents should keep their daughters away? But Mr. Milbank was angry with himself: is it really necessary to send his daughter so far because of the inability to cope with one poem? There's no Byron in Seaham either! And Annabella is much smarter than this eccentric Caroline and she herself decided to leave!

Mr. Milbank's thoughts were written all over his face as he irritably slammed the door of the traveling Berlina in which they were returning home.

Annabella decided it was because of her:

Did something happen, dad? You yourself wanted to quickly leave this smoky, crowded London, where good man can't get through the crowd of people.

The father shook his head:

No, Annabella, I'm thinking about something else. I'm glad we're leaving, the city really looks like an alarmed anthill, and that's not my thing.

More like a hornet's nest into which someone has thrown a stone, you never know who exactly will be attacked by the excited swarm.

Milbank looked at his daughter with pride, that's what she is! What other girl could express herself so precisely?

So why the irritation?

To this swarm. And also to your beloved Byron! He will ruin Caroline and cause great harm to William's reputation. This is who should take his wife to America!

Annabella snorted briefly.

You are mistaken, dad, Caroline herself will destroy whoever she wants. And you’re wrong about America, that skinny cat would throw herself off the ship and swim back.

Mr. Milbank was struck by the harshness in Annabella's voice; it seemed that her daughter was not just angry with Caroline, she hated her cousin. Really?.. My God, then their Annabella is the height of rationality if, having fallen in love with a dangerous rhymer, she hastened to leave the society where she could meet him.

But why the talk about saving his soul that his daughter constantly leads?

For some time, they washed the bones of William's restless wife and pitied the husband himself, and Mr. Milbank secretly rejoiced at the reasonableness of his own daughter.

“Dangerous” Byron and “dissolute” Caroline did not know any of this, but they could well guess what exactly they were talking about in salons and living rooms. Caroline didn’t care, she didn’t take into account the opinion of the world at all, but the poet was worried. Surprisingly, so free in his poetic and political speeches (and Lord Byron twice spoke very sharply and successfully in Parliament), in social life he turned out to be much more dependent on rumors and gossip. Byron doesn't care what they say about him in salons.

Two salons became especially attractive to Lord Byron. There, slightly cooled down from daily communication with Caroline, he gladly came whenever possible. One was Lady Jersey's drawing room, and the second was Melbourne House, but not Caroline's drawing room, but her mother-in-law, Duchess Elizabeth of Melbourne. Moreover, it was Lady Elizabeth Byron who began to confide his heartfelt secrets and consult with her about Caroline.

This was especially dishonest towards the mistress and cruel even to the duchess herself. Byron did not want to think about the fact that William Lamb is the son of Lady Elizabeth and that it gives her little pleasure to listen to her son being deceived. But the Duchess of Melbourne was an exceptionally wise and tactful woman, she accepted the role of the poet's confidante and confidant, believing that this had its own convenience. Firstly, she will be aware of what is happening, and secondly, it’s better for her than for someone else.

Everyone noticed this unusual friendship, but did not condemn it; on the contrary, they once again admired Lady Melbourne’s calm intelligence and Byron’s extravagance:

Oh, these poets!..

At the next evening, Lady Blessington leaned towards Byron’s ear:

Be honest, are you friends with Lady Melbourne to divert suspicion from Lady Caroline?

He laughed a little strainedly:

Oh no! Lady Melbourne touched my heart so much that if she had been a little younger she would have easily turned my head.

Lord Byron, if this is a compliment to Lady Elizabeth, then with a dose of poison. She does not take her age into account much, although she does not overstep the bounds of decency. Unlike his daughter-in-law, Lady Caroline!

The conversation was becoming dangerous, and Byron hastened to switch it to something else. Lady Blessington is not Elizabeth Melbourne, who seems to understand all human weaknesses and easily forgives them if the rules of decency are observed.

Not long ago Byron and Caroline had a conversation about this.

Why can't you act like your mother-in-law?

Reasonable and tactful. There is someone to follow by example.

Unbidden tears sparkled in Caroline’s eyes:

George, how can I act sanely when you've made me sane? First you drive me crazy with your suspicions and demands, you extract unthinkable confessions and oaths, and then you reproach me for the same.

This was true, because, insanely jealous of William, Byron constantly demanded oaths from Caroline that she loved him more than her wife, that she was ready for any sacrifice. Simple meetings and betrayals were not enough for him; Byron seemed to be trying to get Caroline to trample on the very image of William! He did not know that William himself considered the poet a pompous peacock, only capable of shouting in a bad voice in Parliament.

It was terrible because Caroline's feelings for Byron and for William Lamb were completely different. She respected and loved her husband with an even, friendly love; such feelings could burn for a long time and evenly, which quite suited the calm and self-possessed Lam. Caroline burned with a passion for Byron that could not last long; it is one of those outbursts that happen in the lives of passionate women, quite often ruining them. George saw that he was ruining the woman, but he blamed their relationship on her, not himself.

Are you leaving because you're tired of me?

There was some truth in this, but Byron hated sorting things out, much less admitting to something; he preferred for everything to end on its own. Caroline Lamb was not the only woman, which, having awakened a volcano of passions in her, Byron would prefer to simply abandon. There were many like her before and after. The only difference was that Lady Caroline Lamb surrendered to passion so much that she ceased to control herself; she believed in Byron’s love and, just like him, blamed herself for everything.

He is ashamed of his love for me because I am not too beautiful!

It was the truth, but not the whole truth. The whole of Lady Caroline was yet to be known.

How long will you stay on your estate? Can I go with you?

You are crazy! “At first, Byron even threw Caroline’s hands away, but then he thought that this woman might really be heading to Newstead, and he explained more softly: “I’m on business, you know very well.” In addition, there is no need to give new food for conversation, there is already enough of it.

I will die separated.

Write to me, I will write to you...

Evgeny Pyatakov

How exactly will the Internet affect psychology, life,
representations and position of women.

Being part of the so-called “virtual” reality, the Internet belongs to one of those areas of current human existence that modern science is just beginning to study. For this reason, everything I say below will be primarily hypothetical. In order not to get confused in my own fabrications, I will try to give them some orderly appearance. Firstly, I will outline my ideas (possibly incorrect) about the characteristics of the female psyche, secondly, I will describe the influence of virtual reality on the human psyche (as I understand it), thirdly, I will try to answer the questions posed by analyzing and synthesizing the above information .
Let me start with the fact that the difference between male and female thinking is determined not only by the difference in upbringing, social status, social and gender roles, but also by the difference in the very biological organization of the brain. If in men the left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for logical and abstract (mathematical) thinking, and the right hemisphere is responsible for figurative thinking (paintings, music, etc.), then in women the functions of the left hemisphere are partially controlled by the right, and the functions of the right hemisphere by the left. Those. left hemisphere seems to slightly duplicate the right one and vice versa. This largely determines the peculiarities of female thinking, which sometimes torment men, calling them a terrible magical phrase - “WOMAN’S LOGIC”. What frightens them so much in the female psyche? Her unpredictability, incorrectness from the point of view of formal or “iron” logic (more characteristic of men), emotionality of thinking (“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK CALMLY ABOUT SERIOUS THINGS WITH THESE WOMEN, A BIT OF ANYTHING – IMMEDIATELY INTO TEARS”), unpredictable associations (YOU’RE TALKING TO HER ABOUT NEUTRAL, AND SHE GOD KNOWS WHAT TO DERIVE FROM THIS, AND, AS ALWAYS, YOU TURN OUT TO BE GUILTY), as well as incredible, from the point of view of men, intuition, which manifests itself in the worst possible way at the most unpleasant moment for them. In a word, men are frightened by the synthetic unity of different mental functions and spontaneous “flowing” of them into one another (For example: thoughts created by the imagination are mixed with thoughts that arose during perception objective reality, as a result of which a woman sometimes begins to live in an imaginary world that seems real to her, suffer from imaginary problems and torment others with them). All this often makes women’s behavior unpredictable, and therefore beyond the control of many men. Is there anything that frightens them more than not being under control? However, this is probably not as bad as it might seem at first glance, because in the global sense of existence it creates a worthy counterbalance to the male psyche, which also has many shortcomings.
As for virtual reality, and therefore the Internet, the most “iron” of “iron-logical” laws operate in it, and therefore it takes much more work for a purely female psyche to get used to it than a male one. As the not very ancient people said: “BEATING (sorry) BEING DETERMINES CONSCIOUSNESS.” I don’t know how right they were, but there is something in this, at least the Internet, as a special form of being, really has an influence, and a considerable one. Firstly, it forms a special, pronounced formal-logical type of thinking in a person who communicates with him for a long time, and secondly, it makes thinking, and therefore behavior, more simplified (because the laws of virtual reality are still much simpler than in life), thirdly, it creates a person’s psychological (sometimes literally narcotic) dependence on himself, i.e. the latter begins to prefer the Internet, where he can do almost everything easily, to objective reality, in which he can achieve relatively little and with great difficulty.
Being the creation of a male genius, the Internet, nevertheless, is closer in its internal organization to the male psyche, as a result of which, working with it more than necessary, a woman is often forced to break the naturally given structure of her psyche. And this makes her psychologically masculine. What, most likely, will be the features of the life of a woman with a masculine psychology? She is probably more likely than women with traditional type thinking, will achieve success in matters previously considered masculine - business, politics; but she will clearly lag behind in traditionally feminine matters - raising children, running a household, creating comfort. In addition, she will most likely lose those many elusive and irrationalizable qualities that make a representative of the “fair sex” a woman in the high sense of the word (charm, mystery and much more will disappear). Accordingly, men’s adoration will disappear; she will be looked at as a person, a worker, a specialist, but nothing more. Thus, a woman who abuses the Internet runs an even greater risk than a man. How? Falling into even greater psychological dependence, because women are by nature much more carried away, the loss of the original feminine essence and the failure to find a new one, turning into a thinking appendage of the Internet. Perhaps I am exaggerating too much, but some experience in studying similar problems gives, it seems to me, the right to such reasoning.
In concluding this article, I would like to warn women, and not only them, against being overly interested in the Internet - this far from harmless “toy” on a planetary scale. After all, the latter is not “a clearing for harmless educational walks.” In reality, it is a field of activity for many forces seeking to attract as many people as possible into it, and where a large audience is the main goal, as a rule, they are not shy about the means of attracting it.

At the end of October, the novel “The Crayfish Club” by Englishman Jonathan Coe is published in Russia - the first book in a dilogy about the 70s and 90s. Lev Danilkin met with Coe in a Chelsea cafe and talked about English satirists, Gagarin and Mrs. Thatcher

— Do you think Thatcher, whose era “What a Scam!” is dedicated to, has read your book?

- No. She doesn't read books. And she certainly wouldn't read mine.

— Apart from your “Swindle,” what other novels can give an adequate idea of ​​Britain in the 80s?

— Perhaps they say that the other two books about the 80s are “Money” by Martin Amis and “The Line of Beauty” by Alan Hollinghurst. “What a scam!” it really took off abroad rather than here. The book was a great success in France and Italy; it was read to understand what was really happening in Britain in the 1980s. Here, too, this book was quite popular, but... literature in Britain, strangely enough, does not play such an important role in culture as in other parts of Europe. Here writers are never asked about their political views, nor are they interested in their opinion about what is happening in outside world. In Italy I was literally inundated with questions - simply because I am a writer and the very fact of this makes my considerations important. There is no trace of this here; you will not find a novelist writing about politics in a newspaper - or being interviewed about politics. These two worlds - literature and politics - turned out to be isolated from each other. Which, in a way, I suppose, is even healthier.

- But Melvin Bragg, aka Lord Bragg? I also have an interview with him today.

— Melvin Bragg is an exception; yes, besides being a novelist, he is also a very active politician. But... there are those who glance at him with suspicion: the combination of these two hypostases does not seem quite decent to them. In the 19th century we had Prime Minister Disraeli, who wrote great novels, and Dickens influenced the minds and political views of his contemporaries. And now... Perhaps it began with modernism - Joyce insisted that the artist should stay away from the vain world. There may be a reason for this, but people feel that here in Britain they are being scrubbed away. real life. We live in an ivory tower, we are terribly far from the world that actually exists.

— Isn’t the fact that the role of the writer is gradually devalued in society connected with the fact that now EVERYONE has become a writer? That bookstores are filled with paper-based ravings of online graphomaniacs, “novels” of all sorts of secular riffraff? Maybe that's why writers have ceased to be interesting?

— I don’t think that this is true for the ordinary reading public; for them there is still a mystery that shrouds real novels published in real publishing houses. But it's true that many publishers don't read manuscripts, they look at blogs on the Internet. The role of a natural, real writer is being devalued. I'll be participating in a fairly well-known literary festival in Chatham in a month, and I noticed that in newspaper publications, dedicated to the festival, everyone who is listed is politicians, football players, socialites. Yes, they all wrote and published books, their names are on the covers - but in fact they are not writers.

— Is it true that under Blair McEwan was considered an influential writer?

— Many politicians claim that they have read McEwan. This is the name they flaunt at every opportunity. He is very, very famous here, and among serious writers he is undoubtedly the most widely read and best-selling in this country. When newspapers ask politicians what they plan to take with them on holiday to read, they always answer: the next McEwan. Whether that means they actually read it or not, I don't know. But they know the name for sure.

— Everyone cursed and cursed Thatcher, but it was she who made it so that now your compatriots can sell not cars hard-assembled in factories (like in your novel), but their Britishness; and obviously everyone felt better because of it.

- Yes, those who admire her say so. Blair also had a hand in this, they have a lot in common, he actually turned out to be her successor. They have rebranded what it means to be British and the country now looks 'cool', especially to young people, especially when viewed from abroad. In the 1970s no one wanted to be British. We suffered from a terrible inferiority complex, the country seemed like a bad joke, the economy was on its last legs and was supported by loans from the IMF. But personally I still believe that we had best quality life in those days. It's hard to explain, but intuitively I feel that it is so. Of course, consumer opportunities have now grown incredibly, especially for the middle class. But before Thatcher we had the idea of ​​collective responsibility - but now we don’t have it. Thatcher said there was no such thing as society, and people now agreed with that aphorism.

— Does this mean that you are still a socialist?

— Well, what does it mean to describe yourself as a socialist?

- Well, there IS such a thing as society.

- If there are no structures through which socialism can act, express its beliefs in practice, then socialism remains just a theory. Nobody does anything to create this kind public structures. It may very well be that no one - not even myself - would like to return to the 70s: we are so accustomed to consumer goods that it would be difficult for us to lose them - and at the same time there is much more pressure on us, and envy in society more than before. But many people who can be trusted are still convinced that there is such a thing as society. We need to unite, find ways to convey our opinions to other people. At the same time, there are no longer ideological debates in Britain. The current system, whatever you call it - Blairism, Thatcherism, Cameronism - is the only thing anyone is discussing now.

- For a satirist, who is more fertile material - Thatcher? Blair? Brown?

“You know, there was something honest about Thatcher, she did what she said and didn’t pretend to be anyone else.” And with Blair, we felt that we had been betrayed to a certain extent - but we could only be offended by ourselves. We voted for him, actively or passively, it was we who brought him to power.

— I voted for him in 1997. Then no, I voted for the Liberal Democrats in 2004, but now that’s it, I won’t do it anymore, in our system my vote is lost. We have a terribly narrow political culture in Britain now, with real ideological differences between Labor and Conservative Party…

- ...how is it between capitalism No. 1 and capitalism No. 2?

— Are you a medialized person in England?

- No, I don’t. Writers in this country are almost anonymous creatures, which is generally not bad. If we were sitting like this in Italy - where my books are more popular than anywhere else - they would have already approached me and asked for an autograph. Here I can go anywhere, no one has any idea who I am. And media figures - now there are three such writers: J.K. Rowling, McEwan and, perhaps, Nick Hornby. They are actually celebrities. But this has its downsides, because the press begins to take an interest in your private life - weddings, divorces.

— I read that a survey was recently conducted in England and it turned out that the dream profession for the majority of British people is a writer.

- Is it true? Fantastic. Wow. Ha!

- Commentators say this may be due to the phenomenon of Rowling's success.

“Someone needs to explain to all these people that her case is not typical.” I think such results may be associated with other reasons, of a more practical nature. You decide for yourself when to work, the work is not dusty, you sit and pee... Well, yes, everything is clear.

- This, by the way, is also partly an indirect consequence of the Thatcher era - a lot of people have a lot of free time.

- That is, the only thing that exists is society!

- Yes. But this is not the society we imagined it to be 50 years ago, that's what I think.

— It seems to me extremely unlikely that this book will be translated into Russian; after all, no one in Russia has heard of B. S. Johnson.

“I’m not sure that everyone in England knows him either.” That's not the point.

- Yes it's true. The paradox of this book is that I don't like the genre. literary biographies. Even biographers I admire usually talk about their heroes like this: “It was the morning of August 10, 1932, he dangled his legs over the bed and felt terribly unhappy.” What kind of nonsense is this? How did they know about this? All this hurts my ears monstrously. Perhaps this style of narration is suitable for writers who lived many years ago: the circumstances under which they created their works seem so far from me that I will not particularly protest if I am reminded of some everyday details of that time . But with Johnson, pretending that the author knew more than he actually knew was impossible. In general, it seems to me that we should read novels by writers, and everything else is unimportant. Johnson's biography should have encouraged people to read many other interesting books that had fallen out of cultural use, and to resurrect them. It is very difficult for a novel from the 1960s to get into the reading circle modern man, people read either the classics or the new ones, and there is a gap in the middle. Many of the most interesting writers of the 60s disappeared as if they had never existed; V best case scenario Fowles and Anthony Burgess remained. All this is compounded by the fact that British literary culture is obsessed with fashion. She passionately craves new things all the time: having not yet digested one, we immediately rush to the next Important Event. We are obsessed with being ahead of the rest, with the fact that everything new is here, with us. In a sense, this is not bad, due to this the country always remains at the forefront, and this is also why young people from France, Germany, Italy, Spain, and Poland strive to come to London. And at the same time, all this is flat, shallow; everything is disposable, everything is quickly forgotten. As for the writer himself, if he wants to be read in ten years, he must do something truly phenomenal, otherwise there will always be another 20-30-year-old who will simply push him aside with their youth.

— Does this mean that the only way for you to stay in the game is to write a novel a year?

- I guess, yes. But I release a novel every three, sometimes every four years, this is my natural rhythm: it doesn’t work faster. But every published book is like the first time: you have to win over your readers again and again, demonstrate something special, otherwise they will forget you and go to someone else. I know writers who submit a book every two years or even once a year because of this: they get nervous when they don't get featured in the newspapers at least once a month. They know how easily you are forgotten.

— “The Circle Is Closed,” the sequel to “The Crayfish Club,” has not yet been translated into Russian. How would you describe what these two novels have in common? Well, except for the heroes, of course.

— The general idea of ​​both novels was to paint a large portrait of how society of the 70s turned into the current one. At the end of the book, the characters realize that many of them left with what they came with.

— Is it true that the boy named Ben Trotter in the novel is almost yourself?

“Let’s just say he’s very close to me in many ways, especially in the Crayfish Club.” I specifically began reading my school diaries when I was preparing to write this novel; and before that I hadn’t picked them up for twenty years. And many details related to family and school are taken from my childhood. Feelings from books, music, shyness with girls. Of course, this is not a real self-portrait; many of its features are parodically sharpened to make it more comical; This is satire after all.

- Listen, were you really at that exhibition in Earls Court, where Gagarin came, like your hero in “What a Scam!”?

- Well, no, I couldn’t be there, he came in 1961, and I was just born then. The hero of the novel is 9 years older than me, he is from 1952. I became interested in Gagarin because of the song, it is quoted at the beginning of “The Swindle.” To tell the truth, I knew little about Yuri Gagarin; he is not a figure from my childhood pantheon. It's just that when I wrote "What a scam!" I needed to find some important event for a boy who was born in the early 1950s. And it seemed to me that the most obvious thing was to make his hero Gagarin, a very important figure of that time.

— Was there any episode in your own biography that had a similar meaning?

- In childhood? Honestly, the only clear memory I have is of the moment I came out of my small world, was the 1966 FIFA World Cup. We managed to beat Germany in the final, and I still remember the names of our team - Bobby Charlton and so on. At the same time, I have never been more interested in football since then, but I remember this. It was important for us, Britain was a small country.

— What is most important for a satirist - a real satirist, whose laughter breaks through his tears? Do you need to be seriously offended, or be able to despise, or what?

“I think the two most important things are anger and a sense of humor, both of which must be very strong.” The farther I go, the more I move away from satire, although my anger and sense of humor do not disappear anywhere - they just seem to soften, stop being as harsh as before, which is not very good for a satirist. If things are like this, if you contemplate this world with sadness, you begin to write tragedies; This happened with my last book. But I would like to return to satire again, to take a swing at big thing. Great satires are often written by young people, but I recently re-read Gulliver's Travels. I believe it is Britain's greatest work of satire; Swift was between 50 and 60 when he wrote it. So maybe we will fight again too.