The desire to show your originality and sophistication of thoughts is not always welcomed in society. Sometimes such people are called smart people who are not worthy of respect. We suggest you figure out when wit is appropriate and how to become witty person.

What is wit?

Many dictionaries say that wit is a certain sophistication of thoughts, ingenuity, the ability to find successful and very bright, colorful or funny expressions, successful decisions and actions. A person with such a trait, in addition to the ability to be witty, must have one more quality - the ability to critically evaluate his own witticisms immediately after creation. If a person is not able to stop his unsuccessful joke in time, then he hardly falls into the category of those who are usually called witty.

Principles of Wit

It is customary to distinguish between the following methods of wit:

1. Hint- indirect indication of what they want to say. A hint can be sharp if a person touches on something indecent or even forbidden. When a person masters the art of hinting, then communication with him will be deep and refined.
2. Irony- often compared to ridicule. To varying degrees, it can be used to compare what is with what could be.
3. Reverse comparison- it’s very funny if the figurative meaning of words is used in a different context.
4. Comparison by implicit characteristics– objects and phenomena are sometimes compared, but according to implicit characteristics. The funny thing is that in different things common features are noted.
5. Absurd– you can joke even with the help of an absurdly expressed thought. Here a short clause can completely change the whole meaning.
6. Paradox- one of the intricate techniques of wit. It can appear from the most banal phrases about health, money and relationships.

Wit - good or bad?

If a person is witty, is that good or bad? Can we say that wit is? The answer is clear: being witty is commendable, but being clever is bad. Wit should be used when it is needed. This skill is not only good quality, but also an indicator of originality, originality of thinking. Such a person certainly knows how to navigate different situations and at the same time understands surrounding reality. Wit is often understood as the ability to think well and, literally, to grasp the most important things on the fly.

Wit and sense of humor

For ordinary person sense of humor and wit are one and the same concept. However, it is no coincidence that they are referred to by different terms. Wit is understood as inventiveness and finding bright and very funny expressions, and a sense of humor is the ability not only to see, but also to understand what is funny. As paradoxical as it may sound, a witty person may not have a sense of humor, and someone who has a sense of humor may be completely unwitty. Wit is often associated with the ability to create witty jokes, and with the ability to understand humor.

How to develop wit?

For anyone who is wondering how to develop wit in speech, we offer valuable tips:

1. Read as many books as possible. Let it necessarily be the literature of a variety of satirists in variety of styles. Thanks to such books, the number of lexicon interesting allegories.
2. Train constantly. Cut short jokes and practice lightning-fast reactions.
3. Write down good phrases. You can keep a special notebook and write down all the most interesting jokes and sharp remarks in it.
4. Study the humor of foreign satirists. For example, the English have excellent wit.
5. Positive emotions. Make it a rule that wit is positive and such that it can bring smiles. Cruel jokes suppress and bring negative emotions. You can use the skill of wit as a way to get out of a difficult situation.

Exercises to develop wit

Simple and very interesting exercises will help you learn how to become witty:

1. Linguistic pyramids– will help you understand the peculiarities of your own thinking and develop generalization skills. The essence of the exercise is that you need to take a certain object and tell what class it belongs to, draw analogies.
2. How is a raven similar to a table?– the exercise will allow you to learn how to create analogies for different classes. There are three people involved here. One of them must name a living creature, the other an inanimate object, and the third must tell how they are similar to each other.
3. What I see is what I sing about– develops ease and associativeness in speech. This exercise should be done in pairs. One needs to point to an object, and the other must talk about it for five minutes.
4. Mindflow– develops the ability to start a conversation from absolutely any place and on any topic. Here you will need a mirror and one person. You need to stand in front of the mirror and talk about everything that comes to mind. In ten minutes it will be clear how easy it is.

Books for developing wit

To learn how to express your own thoughts wittily, it is important to read specialized literature. The following books will be excellent helpers:

1. I. Ilf, E. Petrov. "The twelve Chairs. Golden calf".
2. Jerome K. Jerome “Three in a Boat, Not Counting the Dog.” Stories. Stories".
3. A. Griboyedov “Woe from Wit.”
4. P. Wodehouse “Jeeves, you are a genius!”
5. V. Dragunsky “Deniska’s stories.”
6. G. Oster “Bad advice.”

Witty films

To everyone who is sure that wit is like aesthetic principle should take place in every society, you will like this selection of films:

1. 99 francs (2007, France).
2. Groundhog Day (1993, USA).
3. Lost in Translation (2003, USA).
4. Freaky Friday (2003, USA).
5. Best man for rent (2015, USA).
6. Horrible Bosses (2011, USA).
7. We are the Millers (2015, USA).
8. Promised Heaven (1991, USSR).

Surely, everyone in his life has come across people whose conversations are very tiring - you always want to avoid such communication. There are other interlocutors, witty, brilliant, interesting, who can enliven any conversation and lift the mood with their presence. Have you ever wondered what category of people you belong to, and how you can improve your conversational skills and how to become a witty conversationalist?

There are a few simple tips that you can follow to become a witty and good conversationalist.

Ask questions

Many people, without noticing it, like to talk about themselves rather than listen to you, so asking a question can start or refresh the conversation. When meeting for the first time, ask harmless questions like: “Where do you live?” and “What are you doing?” etc. If you already know each other, then most likely you already know the interests of the interlocutor - this can serve to select the topic of conversation. Long-time acquaintances may ask more interesting and serious questions.

There is an opinion that small minds are only interested in discussing people, medium minds are interested in discussing events, and big minds are interested in discussing ideas. If you are wondering which group you belong to, then try following these tips:

Listen to the other person

Good listeners are good communicators. It doesn't matter whether the conversation is with one person or several, always listen carefully. Put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor, will you communicate with the person who is standing opposite you with a bored look. Agree, it is much more pleasant to carry on a conversation with someone who listens to you attentively. Among other things, when you listen, you receive information and learn something, but when you speak, you learn nothing new.

In a conversation, it is important to focus on what the other person is talking about and show that you are really interested in it. Ask questions that can support and develop the conversation: “What did you mean?”, “What happened next?”, “What do you think about this?” etc. Consider the reaction of the interlocutor, is he speaking with enthusiasm, or does he want to change the topic?

Don't be shy to give compliments

Don't skimp on compliments for the person who truly deserves them. If someone has purchased a thing that suits him or has made new haircut, do not hesitate to say about it: “This color suits you,” or “You look great today.” If someone shares their achievements or joy with you, be sure to congratulate them. Say it's very an important event and you are very happy about his success.

Relevance is important

Keep up with the latest developments in a wide variety of areas. It is necessary to have your own opinion on issues, facts, ideas regarding problems that are interesting to others. Follow movies, news and events in sports world, read literature, magazines and newspapers. Sometimes, when discussing serious issues, you have to oppose traditional views and take a provocative position - be prepared for such turns. This good way make the conversation more interesting, but at the same time, it is better to avoid sensitive topics that can offend and offend the interlocutor.

Be witty

A pleasant interlocutor is considered to be a person who is ready for both serious discussions and light, non-binding conversations. It is not so easy to develop the skills to insert witty and unexpected comments into a conversation, but, if desired, this can be achieved.

To become a witty conversationalist, take a closer look at people who have a good sense of humor. Don't be afraid to add a remark or joke to the conversation. The reaction of your interlocutor will tell you whether you have chosen the right note. Keep a few in reserve funny stories, but do not squeeze them into the conversation if you feel that they are not appropriate - wait for the right moment. With such stories you can respond to someone’s remark, or fill a pause that arose in the conversation.

Anecdotal situations that have happened to you personally are usually perceived very well. Know how to relax and laugh at yourself. It’s also a good idea to use jokes, quotes, or interesting phrases from other people, just try to avoid offensive or unpleasant stories.

Express yourself clearly

In order to interest the interlocutor, you need to clearly, clearly and enthusiastically express your thoughts. People who speak unclearly, too quickly, or whisper are not able to arouse sufficient interest, and on the contrary, eloquent, easy-to-understand people are the best interlocutors. In the story, they use interesting figures of speech and gestures.

It is necessary to structure your sentences so that they are short and to the point. When you finish expressing your thoughts, let your interlocutor speak. If there is a pause, ask a question.

Enjoy communication

Have a positive attitude, don't try to pretend to be someone you're not - be yourself. Smile and enjoy the moment, because when you started the conversation, you planned to communicate with interesting person. Most people like good-natured interlocutors who are in good spirits. good mood, but few people are unhappy and embittered.

There is no girl who, while making a list basic requirements to the guy of my dreams, I would forget to mention having a sense of humor. However, you already know that being the wittiest in any company is very pleasant and honorable. Like any other skill, the ability to joke can be developed. A sense of humor is just a tricky muscle that can be pumped up. Perhaps, with the help of our article, you will have time to do this by the next beach season.

5 surefire ways to say something funny

Humor only seems to be a free, spontaneous and exuberant form of creativity. If you wipe off the stupid smile from your face and analyze with a serious look what exactly causes laughter, you can isolate ready-made formulas for what is funny. Here are the most common and easiest to use of them. And although they are all used, if you take them into service, it will greatly help your boyfriend.

1 They were swapped

The most mechanical and simple way to create a joke (or at least its semblance) is to swap two elements. These can be letters in a word ( president - drezipent), letters in the phrase ( sweaty hands - mouth farts), words in a sentence ( hit a squirrel's eye from a hundred meters away - hit a hundred meters from a squirrel's distance) and therefore similar ( Fedor Konyukhov - groom Fedorov). Main secret in applying this formula - speed. I heard a phrase suitable for a changeling, immediately turned it over - earned a smile ( “And don’t forget to wash the dishes and throw out the trash!” - "Fine! I’ll throw out the dishes and wash the trash!”). Of course, 99% of your changes will turn out to be meaningless nonsense, but even nonsense can cause positive emotions. Any boring news from the Vremya program will play if the druzipent Vedmedev participates in it.

2 New word in...

Hundreds of phraseological units that you constantly use have become so worn out from use that neither you nor your interlocutors notice them. Blow off the dust by replacing one of the worn parts with a new one. Instead of “freaking out,” say “ freak out about cholesterol", instead of the "carrot and stick method" - " whip and pizza method", instead of "glue the fins together" - " glue skis (boots from Skorokhod)" Please note: the more appropriate the replacement, the more fun it is. If you replace the name of the flower with “baobab” in the expression “God’s dandelion,” it will sound especially funny if the size of the old woman is close to the dimensions of the tree in question.

3 How does it sound?

The direct meaning of words and expressions is a rich field for jokes. ( “How are you after yesterday?” - “Like a cucumber! Green, and some suspicious little bumps appeared on the chest.”) The essence of this method is not to pay attention to the context and circumstances, but to focus on one, albeit not very significant, detail ( “Hold the door” - “Do you think if you let go, she’ll run away somewhere?”). Listen to everyday speech- you will be amazed how many reasons for such stupid jokes are hidden in almost every phrase ( “You're two hours late again! How does is called?" - “Hm... I give up. Well, what is it called? This is the first time I’ve heard this riddle!”).

4 Yes, more, more!

If you read us carefully, you probably noticed that we have already used the technique of comic exaggeration forty billion times in our magazine. As comedian Bill Cosby once noted, in mathematics 1 + 1 = 2, in humor 1 + 1 = 11 ( “How long have you been waiting for us?” - "From september. 1989"). You already often lie, take another step and start lying in a square: “I was so scared by this rustling sound that even my neighbors turned gray!” By the way, the formula “that even the neighbors have something there” is quite productive. Remember it and apply it every time opportunity (“I got so drunk that day that even my neighbors got up with a headache the next morning.”. “He weighs so much that even his neighbors had to go on a diet.”).

5 Original stamp

Another algorithm for constructing a joke is a cliché turned upside down: a proverb, a saying, quotes from a song or movie, etc. This is not the easiest of the methods (you have to stretch your imagination), but also not the most difficult (you have a stove, from which one should dance). At the beginning of the joke, you take a well-known cliché for a run, then, pushing off from it, you jump and land completely different from where you were expected.
"I'm ready to give right hand, just to learn to play the guitar!”
“I’m ready to give up my right arm just to become disabled!”
“I’m ready to give up my right hand to become left-handed!”
“I’m ready to give up my right hand. I still have three of them.”

Who did we play jokes from?

Back in 1932, psychologist F. Goodenough found out that a sense of humor is an innate skill, and not learned from adults, like speech or the habit of smoking after sex. In his experiments, deaf-blind babies laughed when tickled just like healthy ones. But since scientists at that time did not have today’s money or a false sense of the significance of their work, Goodenough’s ideas did not receive proper development.

Serious theories about the origin of humor appeared only at the end of the 20th century. Moreover, they were put forward by ethologists - researchers of animal behavior. For example, J. Panksepp in 1998 described the sense of humor in monkeys, canines, bears and even, surprisingly, rats. Of course, humor in this case must be understood in in a broad sense: It is unlikely that a monkey will be able to appreciate the comedy of a situation when a person wearing different socks comes to his bank for an interview. However, all these animals are capable of two types of jokes. First, peek-a-boo is when one animal scares another by pretending to eat it, and then “laughs” at the victim’s fear. Secondly, public humiliation - when one male pushes another from a branch or crushes another, and then - okay, gray, are you offended? Moreover, if the monkeys are equal in status, the victim has the right to a “joke” in response, and the offender should not be offended. That is, he must give in the next time they knock him down.

As another ethologist, J. Gamble, found out, such a meager supply of witticisms is explained only by the lack of speech. As soon as gorillas or chimpanzees were taught sign language, they immediately began to joke much more subtly (by ape standards). For example, they deceived other monkeys that there was food hidden under a stone, and then watched with satisfied hoots as they worked their hairless asses lifting the boulder. In addition, big-eyed animal psychologists Van Hoof and Proeschoft discovered two types of reactions to jokes in monkeys and rats.

█ Grin (lips rolled up, teeth exposed and tightly clenched) - something like a smile, which is given by the objects of the prank. Interestingly, grinning in a broader sense is a signal of submission. Therefore, the equivalent of a grin in the human world should be recognized not only as the phrase “Ha ha, of course!”, but also “You are such a wit, Pal Palych!”

█ A playful face (the mouth is open, the lips are extended, breathing becomes rapid) - a prototype of laughter. Animals use it to differentiate between play and reality. In childhood, when the cubs are learning, they often get into fights, fussing and chasing. If an adult runs after you and laughs, it's a game. If you are concentrated, apparently there is a predator on the horizon and you have to really run. Panksepp, by the way, found that animals “without humor”, raised by serious individuals (who cannot show a game face due to injuries or a muzzle), are less adapted to life, solve problems worse and cope with stress.

When the shovels sing

Why don’t they laugh at your witticisms, but only sniffle gloomily, thoroughly kicking you?

You weren't the first

Believe me, if a person’s name is Slava and he is over ten years old, he has already heard the joke about “Glory to the CPSU” two thousand times. Not a single Sveta will smile if you joke something like “sleep in the Light.” Anatoly Wasserman’s reaction to your pun about “Wasserman’s reaction” is also not difficult to guess. Did you come up with a joke? Wonderful! But before you post it, think for a second about how new it will be for the listener.

You know more than others

Tell your grandmother this incident from our fictional life: “I was recently in a Chinese restaurant. I ask the waiter: “Do you have Wi-Fi?” He left, then comes and says: “Wai Fai is a day off today, but there is his brother Wai Wen.”. If your grandmother laughs, she just loves you very much. Remember: if even one of the key elements of a joke is unknown to the listener, the joke will fall apart like a house of cards built of sand.

You overdid it

Many weak jokes were received with a bang and in a good way the words were laughed at only because they sounded unexpected. Humor should appear spontaneous. Never prepare your audience that a bird is about to fly out ( “Wow, what a joke I came up with! Get pumped! Listen..."). You shouldn’t ask for forgiveness or make excuses in advance either ( “The anecdote, of course, is quite stupid, but I liked it. It touches on the topic of kinky sex with animals, so I apologize in advance to the ladies and animals present here. So...").

If a joke fails, the worst thing you can do is frantically remember the next joke ( “This time it’s definitely funny!”). It could turn out even worse. But the most tragic ending will be if you start accusing your interlocutors of lacking a sense of humor and spice up the accusation detailed analysis salt jokes. Behavior like this makes unfunny clowns become dead clowns.

4 theories of humor

From serious scientists who have observed humans and other animals.

Weisfeld's theory

Humor is a tool for creating alternative realities. Our jokes are the same playful romp of animals, only even more simplified. Imitation of imitation life. We check other people’s reactions to a conflict situation without physically getting involved in it: “Well, where do you think I was until three in the morning? I went to a brothel with our nurse and her stewardess friend!”

Fredrickson's theory

Humor is essential for improving emotional control. A joke is a reversal of the body’s response to stress: “They brought you pizza here. But we ate it! Ha ha! A developed psyche requires a quick transition, for example, from anger to happiness, because getting stuck in one emotion makes you vulnerable. For lower animals (and also for some guards, we would add) transitions to a new state are difficult.

Ouren-Bachorowski theory

For the benefit of evolution, two adults must be genetically dissimilar: this is the only way they can produce a good assortment of offspring. However, the difference in genes (and therefore in the color of eyes, skin, nipples and sidelocks) can be frightening: the second organism is perceived as alien. This means that there must be a mechanism for strengthening sympathy, different from external attractiveness. An “emotional loop” becomes such a mechanism: the first one jokes, the second one is happy, the first one is happy that the second one is happy, etc. Jokes about a non-offensive woman are good cement for relationships ( “Darling, do snakes sleep with with open eyes? - “I don’t know, I get up later than you”).

Mulcay-Miller theory

These two believe that humor is not a mechanism of attachment, but of choosing a partner. Both admit that the choice in sex is always up to the woman, so the man is obliged to joke. At the same time, Mulcahy believes that humor is a product of demonstrative aggression; it is intended to humiliate male competitors in front of females: “San, it wasn’t you who printed about self-medication for gonorrhea - is there anything left on the printer?” Well, good-natured Miller writes that a joke should not be offensive, humor is simply a sign of good intellectual form, and therefore high-quality genes. It seems that his theory, which for once takes into account the character of people, and not gorillas, is the most correct.

Wit for the lazy

How to be known as a funny guy without making up a joke.

Quote

As Mikhail Zhvanetsky once noted, “One well-placed quote is worth ten out-of-place anecdotes.” Memorize a dozen quotes, for example from “The Twelve Chairs,” and wait for the right moment. Did your colleague show up to work wearing something new? Approach him and announce publicly: “It was impossible to start a polygamist’s career without a marvelous dapple-gray suit.”. Is anyone getting scolded by their bosses? Note in a low voice: “From the outside it might seem that a respectful son is talking to his father, only the father shakes his head too animatedly”.

Ideally, the quote used should not be shabby from frequent use (“To whom the mare is a bride”), otherwise it will lose some of its power. In this case, it is desirable that the source be at least approximately guessed. Nice quote brings with it the spirit of the work, and all the former positive emotions associated with the quoted work come to life in the souls of the listeners. By the way, this is why the quote from Zhvanetsky with which we started did not make much of an impression on you. Well, also because we invented it ourselves.

Tell jokes

Somehow we got to desert island Frenchman, German and Mikhail Zhvanetsky. And they began to compete to see who could tell the best joke. It was Zhvanetsky’s turn, and he said: “One appropriately told anecdote is worth ten inappropriately used quotes.” Yes, whatever one may say, there is no more reliable way to gain a reputation as a joker and comedian than telling jokes. It’s okay that you didn’t invent them. It is impossible to treat someone who makes you laugh without sympathy. Anger can only be caused if it turns out that you forgot the ending of the joke.

Speak with accents

Any boring phrase said with an Estonian accent will make others smile, unless, of course, neither the speaker nor those around are Estonians ( “Re-read me, pa-azhalusta, so-ol, but be-faster”). Other “cheerful” accents are no worse: Georgian ( “Sleesh, sol, paredai, huh?”), Jewish ( “I have to ask you for salt. Why are you bothering me? Well, this is downright funny, not salt!”), Eskimo ( “My salt is to ask, thank you to say!” Perhaps, however, this example was Chinese).

What do women want?

And last scientific fact, with which we could not help but spoil the parade of jokes and witticisms that our article actually (although it is not obvious) is. More precisely, not exactly a fact, but the result of a series of experiments carried out by anthropologists E. Bresler and J. Greengross. Independently of each other, these two conducted experiments on women (all sexy) and men different ages, statuses and external data.

Since the scientists were unable to insist on the main requirement of the experiment - that all women should also be naked - it was carried out like this. Men who filled out regular profiles, like those on dating sites, were assigned status based on income, education and appearance. Women were not shown this status assessment, but they could read the questionnaires freely. In addition, each man had an autobiography written by professional comedians. The types of humor varied: toilet, chauvinistic, self-flagellation, offensive to other men, etc. - eight types in total. Going through the line of women, the man read out his “autobiography” and received a final assessment of sexual attractiveness. Then the same thing was repeated in reverse. Apart from the banal conclusions like “a sense of humor is very important for dating,” Bresler and Greengross found the following.

Men don't like it when a woman makes jokes

Perhaps perceiving them as competitors ( “Maybe she’ll have sex with herself, and... have any cutlets?”), participants in the experiment lowered the scores of the funniest storytellers. And if anyone was called very attractive, it was the laughers who laughed most actively during the first stage. So women don't have to joke at all. But, fortunately, they don’t know how, ha ha!

It almost doesn't matter how a man jokes

The highest marks, regardless of status, were given to the lucky ones who came across a “simply funny” autobiography. Neutral humor, without a clearly defined object of jokes, without vulgarity and fixation on any topic, increased the sex appeal of a man in the eyes of a woman. All other types of humor worked noticeably worse. But, surprisingly, there was no difference between them: almost the same number of women liked toilet humor as high-brow humor. Although there was one exception that deserves its own paragraph.

Self-flagellation only works if you're cool

The old advice, “If you can't laugh at anything else, laugh at yourself,” can be deadly for low-status men. If the woman in Greengross's experiments knew that she was a loser, self-flagellation humor ( “If I have money, I like to go to a fancy restaurant and order a big McNugget.”) only reduced the man’s attractiveness in her eyes. However, if she knew in advance - from the questionnaire - about the significant and sonorous advantages of her counterpart, loser jokes worked at the neutral level. That is, in the best possible way.

Learn from witty people. The easiest way to improve your wit is to learn from other people who have a great sense of humor. There are many ideas where you can learn this, from films to your close, cheerful friends. Here's how to learn wit from others:

• Spend more time with people you find especially witty, whether they're your relatives, close friends, or just acquaintances you'd like to get to know better. Write down what they say when they make people laugh. Watch their facial expressions, their delivery, their choice of the right moment.
• Read literature written by witty people such as Shakespeare, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, or even comedians such as Garfield or Dilbert. You can learn a lot from witty people (or animals) of any generation.
• Look television shows or films that show witty people. Woody Allen's films always have witty characters.

Be confident. Before you start impressing people with your intelligence, you need to convey a confident feeling that you feel comfortable telling jokes. If you have confidence in yourself, people will have more faith in your abilities, including your ability to charm people with your intelligence. Namely like this:

• When telling a joke, gestures should be positive. While you don't have to put on a show in front of an audience, simply standing tall, speaking clearly, and making eye contact when finishing a joke will help your outcome.
• Be confident in who you are. If you love yourself for who you are and what you do, people will appreciate you and your sense of humor.
• Show confidence in your jokes. Tell your jokes clearly and show that you find what you say funny. If you show confidence in your sense of humor, people will be more inclined to agree with it. This doesn't mean you have to laugh at your own jokes, but you should just show them that you care what people think because you know it's funny.

Be an original thinker. Part of being witty is being able to think outside the box and look at the world differently than others do. Being a thoughtful and intelligent person will improve your chances of seeing the world differently. Here are tips on how to be original:

• Read as much as you can. The more you know about the world, the more likely you are to have an objective and unique perspective on the things around you.
• Don't be afraid to be corny. If you are free and open, your sense of humor will make people laugh. For example, if your girlfriend asks you to go shopping for pears, you can answer, “I’ll do it in my mind.”
• Come up with new words. For example, if you and your friends are always gossiping about a girl named Emily, and you are already tired of it, you can say, “I’ll show you Emily-Bemily now!” Although people may roll their eyes, they will appreciate this silly concert of yours.
• Find new uses for traditional phrases. For example, if you are leaving a public restroom and a person of the opposite sex approaches you and asks, “Is this the girls' restroom?” And you can answer, “How much of a girl’s toilet do you need?”
  • For example, the question "How would you spend one million dollars?" implies all possible creative thinking responses. Answering "Happily enough" is a humorous form of answer.

Get in touch with your audience. Understanding your audience is the key to success. While you need to work on developing your humor, you should always be aware of the type of people who surround you and the specific things they find funny or offensive. Here's how:

• Never forget to listen. By listening to the people around you, you can understand what they find funny, what they find pure insult because it is a sensitive topic, or how to comment on something a little later in a humorous way.
• Be sensitive. If you are surrounded by people who are very sensitive to religion, for example, then try to avoid jokes on this topic. Not only may they not appreciate your wit, but they may also not want to communicate with you anymore.
• Tailor your jokes to your audience. Tell dirty jokes to the hipper, younger crowd, and save the innocent jokes for the grandparents unless they can laugh at anything.
• Feel when people are not in the mood for humor. While wit should be appreciated in any circumstance, if you are around someone who is very upset or sick, telling a joke can lift their spirits, or the person may become even more upset. Be carefull.

Know how to present it correctly. Even the best joke can fall flat if you deliver it incorrectly. The delivery is something you can practice in front of a mirror, or even a tape recorder, before performing your joke in front of an audience. But even if your jokes are spontaneous, there are a few tips that can help improve your delivery.

• Speak clearly. Deliver jokes clearly and confidently. If you mumble, people may ask you to repeat yourself and the humor will be lost.
• Remember - timing is everything. Part of being witty is being sharp and quick, so don't hesitate too long or people won't understand how your comment relates to the conversation.
• Try a deadpan delivery. If you're really confident, tell the joke in a flat tone and wait for people to start laughing. You shouldn't speak as if you think you said something incredibly funny. Part of being witty is being an “I don’t care if you’re funny” person.
• Don't shout over everyone. There shouldn't be any nonsense, many good jokes lose their meaning if a person tells them when someone else is talking. Wait for the right moment and engage in general conversation.

Do not overdo it. By going through all the steps you have taken, you can become a witty person and increase your chances of being funny. However, you shouldn't overdo it on making people laugh, or they'll feel sorry for you instead of finding you funny. Here's how to avoid overdoing it:

• Relax. Even if you are demonstrating a new edge, be relaxed. Stay calm when telling your jokes, and don't raise your voice unnaturally or look around to check the audience's reaction.
• Don't tell many jokes in one sitting. Being funny several times a day is more effective than trying to tell a joke every five minutes and expecting nine out of ten jokes to be funny.
• Be calm if your jokes fail. If no one laughs at the jokes, just buck up and say, “I'll cut them out next time,” or “Oops—wrong audience.” If it's too obvious that you're upset or quiet for the entire evening, people will see that you're too concerned that they weren't laughing.
• Take a break. If you've already told a few jokes, relax for the rest of the evening and pay attention to the funny people around you. If you're too focused on being funny, you might miss out on something important that could help you in the future.

In fact, almost all people experience communication problems. At least I don’t know of a single person who would be completely satisfied with communication with all others. There will still be someone who is difficult to approach. But this is a slightly different matter. In this article we will talk about the problem of sociability. This includes many phenomena:

- acquaintance;

- maintaining a conversation;

- conversations in the company;

— defending one’s own beliefs, etc.

I hope the tips below will help you understand how to become sociable. I'll try to bring maximum amount useful recommendations that you can actually apply. Some of them will be more useful, others less. Try to try everything, and only then draw conclusions about its effectiveness.

Stay on top of things

The problem with most conversations is that the topic is not fully understood. Each microgroup has some interests that allow them to unite and identify themselves with other people. But this is the smart way, and to put it simply, you should be on the same wavelength with your interlocutors.

Let's say a group of students is discussing their schedule, a recent lecture, or a difficult assignment. At work they can discuss projects, salary and boss. Housewives - their husbands, new wallpapers and events in the series. There is always some topic that characterizes certain people, and if you understand it, the dialogue will go by itself.

For example, I can talk a lot about psychology, business, SEO, copywriting and some other areas. If in a new team people start talking about these topics, then I will immediately be able to carry on the conversation and tell a lot of interesting things. Likewise, you need to understand the main problems and interests of the people with whom you want to establish relationships.

But this applies if we are talking about a group conversation, but what about dialogue? in this case? Everything is simple here too. Start the conversation with standard phrases and try to understand the person's main hobbies. The easiest option is to ask what he did over the weekend, since free time most people prefer to spend on things they love.

Be helpful

People rarely do anything for no reason. This is one of the basic psychology. In order for there to be a reaction, a stimulus is needed. So it is with conversation. If you can't bring anything useful to people, then why should they come to you? Let's say in the case of students discussing a schedule. If you have no idea where the classroom is or what the teacher's name is, then you will be much less likely to be contacted.

This problem is easily solved if you have any profile. For example, professional doctors rarely suffer from a lack of communication, since many people are trying to find out how they can cope with a particular disease. You also have to become someone useful if you want to communicate more. It is unlikely, of course, that a specialist in the development of nanotechnological materials will be able to tell something useful to the average person, but it is easy for people close to his work.

And in general, the more useful you are as a person, in principle, the less you will suffer from lack of communication. Therefore, try to develop whenever you can. By the way, to understand how to become a sociable person, you could be taking on a ton of debt. Believe me, then people will be drawn to you :)

Of course, if your social circle consists of gopniks with a bottle of beer, then this advice is unlikely to be useful to you (although it will still help to some extent). But in this case you would hardly read this material. Think for yourself which interlocutor is more interesting for you to communicate with:

• Knows a lot, talks Interesting Facts, can be of interest and will easily answer any questions that arise;
• He barely ties two words together and his area of ​​knowledge ends with events that happened in his immediate environment.

I think your answer will be obvious. WITH smart people It’s interesting to communicate, they can always carry on a conversation, and you will always understand what they are talking about.

Plus, you might just be an interesting person. Even if you don't have higher education, but you have traveled a lot, then you probably have something to tell people. Some interesting facts, incidents, events, stories, etc.

Let's say you want to find out how to become more sociable. To find the answer to this question, you probably entered a query into a search engine and found this article. Written communication is also communication. And, if you have read up to this point, then you were probably interested, otherwise you would have simply closed the page.

You need to achieve the same. Try to make people want to bring the dialogue with you to its logical conclusion, and for this you will have to arm yourself with some kind of set of knowledge. Not necessarily scientific, but still educational and interesting.

Be witty

Nobody likes bores and nerds. No matter how much you want to deny this fact, it is true. People love to communicate with cheerful and interesting interlocutors. If in response to the banal “How are you?” you talk about studying quantum physics is not capable of raising your average mood, because according to your research, each page you read takes away a certain percentage of your subjective mood scale, and in order to change this indicator you had to evaluate the influence of other sciences on changes in your psychological state.

Did you fully read what I wrote above? Most likely no. Likewise, a person will not listen to you if you answer in a boring way. Another body, if you are witty and can somehow hilariously comment on his statements and questions. What am I talking about, even girls prefer guys who are able to engage in conversation. And no muscles are needed here. Pushkin was not the most handsome guy in the village, but the young ladies were crazy about him, and it was all about eloquence.

By the way, speaking of that, how to become sociable and interesting, at this point one cannot fail to mention going too far. Many people notice that their jokes are well received and begin to make them left and right. As a result, he may develop a reputation as a clown, that is, they will also simply joke with him, but at the same time, hardly anyone will want to adequately perceive his other words. Therefore, do not go too far and try to use this recommendation in conjunction with the others.

Be mindful of your behavior

For example, you may constantly sniffle, rub the back of your head, wave your arms, or talk very loudly. It seems like a small thing, but it can actually be off-putting. a large number of of people. Therefore, before asking a question about how to become cheerful and sociable, think about whether your behavior irritates other people.

In order to get rid of such ailments, try to copy the behavior model of some famous actor or speaker. Just imitate his way of speaking and gesticulating and very soon you will notice incredible results. In general, modeling is an extremely useful thing. It can even be used to understand...

Be confident in yourself

Uncertainty will not only kill your desire to meet or talk with other people, but in general it can bring a lot of inconvenience. I will devote an entire article (or maybe even more than one) to this issue, so if you don’t want to miss it, subscribe to my blog updates. This can be done by clicking on this link or using the form at the bottom of the page.

Communication is a voluntary process. Moreover, most often, people feel good in the process of exchanging information. But for this to happen, the interlocutors must feel on the same wavelength and seem to be at the same levels. Agree that when a boss communicates with a subordinate, this can hardly be called a full-fledged conversation. But when two colleagues are talking, it’s a completely different matter.

Therefore, you must have good self-awareness. You must understand what exactly you are, what level you are at, and be sure to show it to the other person. This is probably one of the most important points regarding the question of how to become a sociable girl or a guy.

If you pretend to be someone you don’t know, then very soon your circle of contacts will narrow down to the same egoists. At the same time, if you constantly become poor, then the attitude towards you will be appropriate. Try to be on the same level as your interlocutor and don’t be afraid to speak, even if you haven’t communicated much before – you will succeed.

Be consistent

Even if you are afraid to talk to other people, you will still have to do it. Without this you simply cannot understand how to become open and sociable. But the adaptation process can be significantly easier if you act according to the plan.

1. First, just get to know the person. Shake hands or simply say hello, introduce yourself and ask for a name. This will be enough to establish first contact. But remember that you must behave confidently so that your interlocutor understands that you are not a sycophant or a hypocrite;
2. Start chatting on common topics. This does not have to happen at the time of acquaintance, but you need to talk again. You must determine the topic yourself, I talked about this in the first paragraph. Therefore, if you immediately scrolled down, do not be lazy and re-read this subparagraph;
3. Talk about more in-depth topics. To proceed to this step, you must already know each other well enough. At this point you can start discussing, for example, or ;
4. Only after this can you move on to closer topics. For example, family relationships and so on. This will allow you to understand how to become a more sociable person.

There is no need to shape events. If you have just met a person, then you should not ask related questions. Understand that this will take some time. A person cannot open up right away and just like that.

Be a good listener

Along with self-confidence, this is also one of the most important points. To be a good communicator you must not only speak well, but also listen well. In one of the books (honestly, I don’t remember which one) I read one interesting case:

Once a famous business coach flew on a plane to another country and met another famous person. They struck up a conversation that continued throughout the flight. Landing famous person said it was the best interesting dialogue, which he has ever led. The highlight was that the business coach practically did not speak, but only listened.

People love to be listened to. Moreover, almost everyone suffers from the fact that they cannot fully speak out. So, if they see that they are being understood, they begin to open up as quickly as possible. There is no point in describing this issue in detail now, because entire books are devoted to this topic, but I will most likely write an article. If you don't want to miss it, subscribe to updates.

How to become sociable - be good

Whatever they say, it is always more pleasant to communicate with kind and good people. Therefore, always try to do good, sow the reasonable and eternal, and in general try to be a good man. You will need this not only to understand how to become talkative and sociable, but in general it will be useful in life.

That's all. If you have any questions, please ask them in the comments. There you can express your point of view on this issue. Dispute my statements in any way or, on the contrary, agree with them. And don't forget to subscribe to new articles. There will be many more interesting things to come. Bye!