If you dream of traveling a lot, you should know that people from other countries are very different from Russians. Moreover, this applies to almost everything: from clothing to etiquette rules. Therefore, in order not to get into trouble, we suggest that you study some of the rules of etiquette of different countries (we warn you, they are often strange).
In France People who eat quickly are treated with contempt. It's common to enjoy food there. This is probably why the French have such tiny portions...
And in Korea It is unacceptable to start eating before the oldest person sitting at the table has done so. If you start without waiting for the others, you risk being left without dinner.
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IN Italy asking for more cheese with a dish is an insult to the cook. Although no one has complained about the amount of cheese yet. Putting Parmesan on pizza is like putting jelly on chocolate mousse. Even many pasta dishes are not designed for Parmesan. So, in Rome, for example, pecorino is considered a traditional cheese, which is added to many classic recipes pasta. Rule number one: if they don't offer it to you, don't ask.
IN Kazakhstan It is customary to serve cups of tea only half full. There is no point in commenting on this or asking for a refill, because a full cup means that the owner is looking forward to your departure.
IN Nigeria Small children are not fried eggs because it is believed that if you feed them eggs, they will start stealing.
And on Jamaica Children are not given chicken until the children learn to speak. It is believed that chicken meat may prevent a child from speaking.
As for tips, Japan, for example, they never leave them at all. Most often, the waiter begins to wonder why they left him extra money. Moreover, tipping can be seen as an insult or a pity gift. If a client wants to express gratitude, it is best to do this with a small gift. Or put the money in an envelope and then give it to the waiter.
Also in Japan Between snacks, the chopsticks should lie together directly in front of you, parallel to the edge of the table. Under no circumstances should you stick chopsticks directly into a bowl of rice. The fact is that during the funeral in Japan a bowl of rice for the deceased is placed in front of his coffin, sticking chopsticks directly into the rice...
IN China Do not cut long noodles while eating, since noodles are the embodiment of longevity, and by cutting them, you shorten your life.
The Chinese will consider you rude if you point your chopsticks at someone while eating.
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Since childhood, our parents forced us to finish our food. However, in some countries, a clean plate can confuse or even offend the host. On Philippines, V North Africa, as well as in some regions China the host is obliged to refill the guest's plate if he has eaten everything that was in it. Only when the guest leaves some food on the plate does the host realize that he is full. Failure to comply with this rule in some situations may offend the owner. He will interpret a guest's clean plate as a sign that he is considered greedy.
Etiquette in its essence performs a nation-forming function. For we call a people not just a population living together, but, first of all, an ethnic community united by traditions, customs, and rituals. Man in Ancient Rus' could survive only in the conditions of a family, a team. This is due to both climate characteristics ( very coldy, prolonged rains, drought, poor soils), and with the geopolitical situation (constant raids on Rus' from the south and west).
Everyday work and the protection of wealth created by labor - all this was main task for fellow tribesmen. The ancient Russian had to be strong and hardy. Children - future breadwinners and protectors - not only acquired the necessary skills and knowledge, but also became successors of the customs and traditions of the tribe. The most favorite pastimes of men and boys were those that provided the opportunity to show strength and prowess: wrestling, fist fights, and racing. The girls were taught spinning skills. Young men from the age of twelve were sent to a military settlement. There, experienced warriors developed the necessary skills to protect their tribe from enemy raids.
Old Russian tribes consisted of clans - a set of families related to each other, living together, owning common property and governed by one clan elder. The clan elders had great power, each in their own clan; and having gathered together for a council (veche), they decided matters for their entire tribe. Hence the inviolability of the rule of subordination of the younger to the will of the elders, respect, obedience and submission towards father and mother. Without parental blessing it was unthinkable to do anything an important event in a person’s life: choosing a bride, wedding, leaving his father’s house...
The standards and norms of behavior were most fully formulated by “ Domostroy", a set of everyday rules and instructions XVI centuries. “The word “domostroy” includes two Slavic words: “house builder.” The very combination “domostroy” appeared in Russian in the 15th century as a translation of the Greek word “economy” (house-ekos, law-nomos). “Home” is not just a home, but also everything connected with it - family, relationships, household. In the worldview of the Russian people, “home” is a source of internal harmony, on which the warmth of the hearth, harmony with family and friends, peace and self-confidence depend,” write the authors of the textbook with a telling name"Culture at Home".
By ensuring the continuity and integrity of the family team, where the younger (wife, children, household members) are unconditionally subordinate to the elder (father), Domostroy reduced the possibility of the birth of family conflicts. Everyone knew their rights and responsibilities, and if subordination was violated, the rest of the family pulled the offender back. According to Domostroi, praise should be pronounced in public, and punishment should be carried out in private. “Punishment” is an instruction, a command, and not necessarily beating with a stick or rods. The last resort is also offered in Domostroy, but as a last resort.
Always in Rus' great attention paid attention to order in the house. “A thrifty wife’s house is always tidy and clean; in the courtyard and in front of the gate on the street, servants always sweep garbage and shovel out dirt, and in winter they shovel snow. And chips and sawdust and other rubbish must be cleaned up so that everything is always in order and clean. In the stable and in the barn and in all the other services, everything is arranged properly, hidden and cleaned and swept - such a good house, well dressed, is as if entering heaven,” we read in “Domostroy”. If in Europe at this time, as we have already said, “they spray the curtains, urinate in the fireplaces, on the walls, from the balconies,” then in Rus' the norm is to observe the rules of personal hygiene. "To the number folk customs, existing even in royal and boyar houses, belonged to: washing in a bathhouse on the eve of the wedding and after it, also laying rye sheaves instead of a bed and seating the newlyweds on furs. Washing in the bathhouse expressed the purity of the marriage bed and cleanliness in general, sleeping on sheaves meant income in the house, and sitting on furs meant wealth.”
There are examples in our history when traditions changed radically. I recall the great reforms of Peter I, the beginning of the destruction of the old cultural principles that served as the basis of ancient Russian etiquette. Returning from abroad in 1698, the Tsar-Transformer began to trim the beards of his boyars with his own hands. As you know, in Rus' a thick beard was considered a symbol of maleness. In 1700, a decree appeared prohibiting the wearing of long dresses. Instead of a traditional costume, townspeople were ordered to acquire Hungarian or German caftans. The decree of 1702 introduced new order weddings: bridesmaids were replaced by engagement, which was preceded by a personal meeting of the bride and groom. Marriage forced by parents was also prohibited by royal decree.
In 1717, “An Honest Mirror of Youth, or Indications for Everyday Conduct, collected from various authors by the command of His Imperial Majesty Sovereign Peter the Great, blessed and eternally worthy of memory,” was published. It can be called the first set of rules of social etiquette in Russia in its European understanding. Decent behavior - the key concept of this collection: the compliance of individual manners with generally accepted standards of decency, because decent - it “does not offend feelings of modesty” (V.I. Dal). Reminding readers of the need to respect parents (this postulate of ancient Russian morality remains unshakable in the 18th century), “An Honest Mirror of Youth...” puts such a virtue as piety in first place. Piety - This is not only the observance of religious rituals, but, first of all, good manners. It manifests itself in social life in the form of such positive qualities the personality of a young nobleman, as respectfulness and politeness: “A youth should be very courteous and polite both in words and deeds: he is not impudent and not pugnacious...”. This monument to the era of Peter the Great's reforms is built on a social antithesis: the progressive man of the Enlightenment and the ignorant, idle people of the past. Here the external gloss and elegance of manners are clearly distinguished secular image life, when “a young boy is cheerful, hard-working, diligent and restless, like a pendulum in a clock,” and the parasitism of idlers who “live lazily, not cheerfully, and their minds are borrowed and worn out...”, i.e. will fall into disrepair. If the former, having mastered the norms of decency and etiquette, become gallant gentlemen, then the latter are like animals - they do not cut their nails, “eat like pigs,” and are intemperate in food and drink.
In the secular vocabulary of people of the 18th century. The word “kurtag” is often found, borrowed from the French language. Kurtag - exit at the royal court, reception day at the imperial residence. Famusov in A. Griboedov’s comedy speaks about one of the nobles of the era of Catherine I:
On the kurtag he happened to step on his feet:
He fell so hard that he almost hit the back of his head.
Elizaveta Petrovna, Catherine the Great's predecessor on the throne, organized frequent kurtags on a variety of occasions and for no reason. Ekaterina Alekseevna, then still the wife of the heir - the future Peter III, recalled: “In 1744 in Moscow, the empress decided to order that all men should appear at court masquerades in women's attire and all women in men's, and at the same time without masks on their faces. These were converted kurtags: men in huge skirts with whalebones, dressed and combed exactly as the ladies in the kurtags dressed; and the ladies in men's court costumes. Men did not like such metamorphoses at all; most of them came to the masquerade in the worst mood, because they could not help but feel how ugly they were in a lady’s outfit. On the other hand, the ladies seemed like pitiful boys; those who were older were disgraced by their thick, short legs; and of all of them, a man's suit suited only one empress. With her tall stature and some heft, she was wonderfully beautiful in men's attire. I have never seen such a beautiful leg on any man in my life; the lower part of the leg was surprisingly slender. Her Majesty danced excellently and in any outfit, male or female, she knew how to give all her movements some special charm. You couldn’t stop looking at her enough, and sometimes you stopped looking at her with regret, because you couldn’t see anything better.”
The rules of secular etiquette in its European understanding are gradually taking root in Russia. Assembly, those. balls, entertaining evenings, are part of the flesh and blood of noble society. All Russian classic literature is filled with descriptions of social entertainment - balls and evenings: the comedy “Woe from Wit” by A.S. Griboyedov, novel “Hero of Our Time” by M.Yu. Lermontov and his drama “Masquerade”, the epic “War and Peace” by L.N. Tolstoy and others. Everywhere social life appears as an empty pastime, a meaningless activity. At balls and evenings they sound memorized, nothing meaningful phrases, the ceremony and ritualized behavior of the guests turns them into mannequins. Let us recall the description of a social evening from L. Tolstoy’s novel: “Anna Pavlovna Scherer’s living room began to gradually fill up. The highest nobility of St. Petersburg arrived, people of the most diverse ages and characters, but identical in the society in which they all lived<...>All the guests performed the ceremony of greeting the unknown, uninteresting and unnecessary auntie<...>All those who approached, out of decency, without showing haste, with a feeling of relief at the fulfillment of a difficult duty, moved away from the old woman, so as not to approach her once all evening.” Pierre Bezukhov appears: “Anna Pavlovna greeted him with a bow that belonged to people of the lowest hierarchy in her salon.” One of the nobles present pronounces the words “without changing his voice and in a tone in which, due to decency and sympathy, indifference and even mockery were visible,” etc. Having turned into a frozen ritual, secular etiquette becomes a form of institutionalized hypocrisy.
Secular education - mastering skills that meet the tastes of high society. For example, dance training. Let us remember the lines from “Eugene Onegin” by A.S. Pushkin:
He could express himself perfectly in French and wrote;
He danced the mazurka easily and bowed at ease...
Dance training began early - from the age of five or six. Pushkin himself studied it already in 1808 (the future great poet in 1799). Long training gave young man not only dexterity during dancing, but also confidence in movements, freedom and ease in posing a figure, which in a certain way influenced the psychological structure of a person: in the conventional world of social communication, he felt confident and free, like an experienced actor on stage. In this regard, we note the attempt to introduce in the 80s of the XX century. V Soviet schools such a subject as “Rhythmics”. Training in junior classes(6-8 years old) the movement to music, unfortunately, did not last long and was curtailed during the years of “perestroika”. Currently, teachers note the need to introduce “corrective rhythms” into the school hours. With its help, you can establish balance in the activity of the child’s nervous system. Musical games are being filmed psycho-emotional stress, develop group behavior skills, i.e. socialize the child.
So, the 19th century ball began with a Polish polonaise. Second ballroom dance there was a waltz. The Mazurka formed the center of the ball and was its culmination. Lightness, sophistication, grace - all this characterized the French style of performing the mazurka.
Compliance with etiquette standards was mandatory for everyone who was included in high society, including for the emperor. Tsar Peter III (1761-1762) paid for his disdain for the customs and rituals of Russians with his crown and life. Born in Holstein (Germany), he lived in Russia for 18 years, but never accepted Russian traditions. For Peter III, born Karl-Peter-Ulrich, cultural values such as the Orthodox faith, church rites and rituals meant little. Historian V.O. Klyuchevsky wrote: Peter “in the court church during the service received ambassadors, walking back and forth, as if in his office, talking loudly, sticking out his tongue at the clergy, once on Trinity Day, when everyone knelt down, he left the church with a loud laugh.” . Peter III ruled his empire for only 186 days. In June 1762 he was dethroned and then killed.
Etiquette traditions are in the nature of unwritten rules. They are absorbed by us from the world around us: communication with family, friends, at school, on the street. When they show Soviet newsreels or art films about the Soviet past (for example, “Two Comrades” (directed by V. Pendrakovsky), “The Vanished Empire” (directed by K. Shakhnazarov)), what is striking is the way students in schools, technical schools, and universities are dressed. Wearing a school uniform was compulsory back then. In secondary specialized and higher educational institutions there was a more democratic style of clothing. However, the footage impartially records the rigor and formality in the youth’s choice of a suit for school. Looking into a modern classroom, we see the absolute diversity of clothing: short skirts, long nails, “Gothic” style mixed with “leather jackets” and earrings in the ears of young men... Is there a need for a dress code (prescribed style of clothing) for a modern student? We believe so. After all, the external reflects the internal content. Educational institution- this is not a disco, not a cafe-bar. The priority here is to gain knowledge, not to spend free time. In addition, students are future specialists. They will have to comply dress code, accepted in this company.
Student ethics does not end with clothing. Higher education requires you to be serious and careful: not to wave your arms, not to make noise in the corridors and classrooms, to be polite with teachers and classmates. During the lecture, do not interrupt the professor, but ask questions after its completion or politely ask during a break whether the lecturer has time to clarify certain aspects educational material. Ethical aspect is also present in the process of preparing and speaking at a seminar, during the discussion of coursework or thesis. It is forbidden to pass off other people's thoughts as your own. Therefore, it is necessary to refer to the original source (textbook, tutorial, monograph, scientific article, website, etc.). Otherwise it will be called plagiarism - appropriation of someone else's authorship. It is necessary to respect other points of view that differ from yours. During a scientific discussion of the problem, it is necessary to name the names of those scientists who previously studied this question. Each of your thesis must be supported by arguments, reference to an authoritative opinion. When drawing conclusions, do not forget to summarize what was said earlier, try to outline the prospects for further research. Don't forget to start your speech with the greeting "Dear Colleagues!" and end it with the phrase “Thank you for your attention. Do you have any questions for me?
Following the rules does not mean violating your individuality. On the contrary, a person who is decently dressed, smiling, and responsive deep down feels calmer and more confident. We are talking about self-sufficiency of the individual! “Schools of bitches”, the erroneous understanding of aggression and rudeness as independence and superiority, wasting life are dead-end forms that do not have any ideological platform. Simplicity in communication, helping the needy and disadvantaged in all cultures have always been welcomed and set as an example. In general, as in “Domostroy”: “Give honor and bow to those who are older than you, honor the middle ones as brothers, lovingly comfort the weak and sorrowful, and love the younger ones like children - do not be a villain to any creature of God.”
It is gratifying that, despite the cataclysms of the 20th century, the Russian people retained goodness and placability(we emphasize this word!) in your heart. On this occasion I remember dramatic story from the book “Enemy of the People” by D. Rogozin, who contributed to the release of an elderly Russian builder from Chechen captivity. “He was stolen and kept in a damp basement of a residential building for exactly fourteen months. He managed to survive only due to his ingenuity and amazing will.<...>The old man did not curse his monsters, he only recalled how the whole family calmly dined at the table installed above the entrance to his basement. Everyone - young and old - knew that an elderly hostage was rotting alive in the zindan, and considered this to be a common thing. The old man excitedly told me all the new details of his misadventures, as if he was in a hurry somewhere, and I kept wondering where he had such a desire for life, such unique ability to preserve dignity and human appearance in inhuman captivity.” There are many examples in the history of the Russian state when our ancestors helped sick and wounded foreign soldiers, and did not mock them. For example, the life of the Germans surrounded in January 1943 near Stalingrad was guaranteed. Through the efforts of Soviet commanders, reception centers and camps for prisoners of war were organized. Our doctors, orderlies, and nurses treated frostbitten and starving German soldiers and fought against infectious diseases. For comparison, let us recall Hitler’s famous directive to the German army that surrounded Leningrad in 1942: not to accept the surrender of the city, since the problems of the survival of the population and its food supply cannot and should not be solved by the German side. His closest associate, Nazi Goering, said: “This year in Russia between 20 and 30 million people will die of hunger. Perhaps it is good that this will happen, for some nations must be exterminated."
The ancient Chinese sage Confucius said that all virtues have their source in etiquette. The background of etiquette, the formation of standards of decency in society, and manners of behavior in society are contained in the traditions and customs of the ethnic group, the uniqueness of the cultural and historical development of the people. Culture always implies the preservation of previous experience. Therefore, understanding the traditions of etiquette, their study and continued use in the lives of people of the third millennium will help avoid the spread of nihilism and radicalism in society.
Tradition - this is the transmission over a long period of time - from generation to generation - of such elements of social and cultural heritage, as social attitudes, norms of behavior, values, customs, rites, rituals. Traditions are the mechanism by which society and groups introduce their values and norms into the consciousness of people. They stabilize society, the life of an individual group. For example, the traditions of both European and eastern peoples provision is made for the groom to receive the bride's dowry. Dowry, we read in the dictionary of V.I. Dahl, - “the wealth of the bride, which follows her by inheritance, or as a gift from relatives; wife's property." It was put on public display so that anyone could see the valuables that the bride and groom received after the wedding. In the Russian language, proverbs have been preserved to this day: “Believe the dowry after the wedding,” “The dowry is in the chest, and the fool is in the hand.” A train was equipped to transport the dowry, i.e. a series of carts following one after another. To emphasize the wealth of the bride's dowry, more or less heavy things were laid out on several carts. The train moved through the most crowded streets, stopping at intersections. During the transfer of the dowry, the gathered guests, relatives of the bride and groom, with things in their hands, danced on the street, despite even the bad weather. When the music died down, they sang funny songs. This tradition is still alive. For example, on the wedding day they demand a bride price (a symbolic payment for the bride's dowry), and the marriage cart noisily passes through busy places.
Violation of established traditions is perceived as sacrilege, blasphemy. Researcher ancient Russian culture B.A. Uspensky even introduces special term "anti-behavior" In our opinion, the events in Moscow at the beginning can serve as an example of this. XVII century. Representatives of the Polish gentry (nobility) arrived in the capital for the wedding of the Russian Tsar False Dmitry I(1605-1606) and daughters of a Polish magnate Marina Mnishek(died 1614). The hatred of Muscovites for guests from the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was a consequence disrespectful attitude Polish side to Russian traditions. IN Orthodox churches they behaved without any respect: they entered there wearing hats and weapons, leaning on the tombs with the relics of miracle workers. During the wedding ceremony, the customs established in Rus' were grossly violated. Having eaten and drunk, the nobles began to dance. In Russia, it was considered shameful and indecent for respectable people to jump around and do kneeling. Dancing was the lot of buffoons. The Soviet poetess N. Konchalovskaya in her book “Our Ancient Capital” figuratively expressed this desecration of national traditions:
Polish gentlemen dance to the music,
Russian beauties are ashamed to look at.
I have never seen such shame before:
The female sex dances intoxicated.
I had never even heard of girls walking through the Kremlin loudly.
The gentry wanders around the ancient capital,
Playing mischief in the middle of a clear day -
IN ancient cathedral sitting on the tomb
Spurs brazenly ringing against the slabs.
Religious etiquette was also violated: only an Orthodox woman could be the wife of the Russian Tsar, and Marina Mnishek adhered to the rituals of the Roman Church. The marriage to a Catholic and her coronation became the last straw in the patience of Muscovites: a popular uprising broke out, during which False Dmitry I was killed.
Custom- a stereotypical way of behavior that is reproduced in a certain society or social group and is familiar to its members. To this day, we wave to those leaving. This is the custom of saying goodbye and wishing you a good journey. It is based on the pagan ideas of our ancestors, who worshiped the elements of fire, water, air, etc. In this way, a tailwind was “winded”, helping the person leaving to get home safely. Another custom has survived to this day: a woman should walk to the right of a man. It goes back to the distant past, when men carried a sword or saber on the left, and during an attack there was a need to quickly pull it out of its sheath.
Rite - embodiment of everyday, religious and other customs in various situations. For a long time, the traditional Russian wedding ceremony consisted of two parts, to a certain extent opposed to each other: on the one hand - the official, legal, church (wedding), on the other - the family (merry revelry, i.e. the wedding itself). Moreover, the second part, the family part, was popularly considered to be the main part, the one that finally cements the family union. If for some reason the wedding was postponed (although the wedding had already taken place), the newlyweds were separated until the wedding ceremony itself. Nowadays, just as before, the “wedding part” of a marriage lasts much longer (sometimes several days!) than the “official” registering part (in the registry office and in the church).
Ritual - a type of ritual, an ordered system and sequence of actions, speeches, ceremonial. Rituals in different cultures have their own characteristics. For example, in European court circles there was a struggle for the slightest privilege to participate in the ritual, since such participation confirmed aristocratic advantages over other, less noble nobles. Some ladies were allowed to sit near the king, others were forced to stand. There was an etiquette that prescribed that some people should sit in armchairs or on stools, in chairs with one back or another; some had the advantage of going ahead of the foreign princes, others - behind. There were also those who were allowed to hold a candle while the king was undressing, although the chambers were brightly lit. In Russian culture, the following color symbolism has historically developed in the attire of Orthodox clergy: golden (yellow) robes or white - worship in honor of Christ
the Savior, prophets, apostles, during the performance of sacraments (requirements) and funeral services; blue and white - for holidays in honor Holy Mother of God; red - on the day of remembrance of martyrs, etc. Even during the times of the USSR, when atheistic propaganda was carried out, in some Russian families one way or another the main Orthodox holiday- Easter. Soviet people, who did not even observe church fasting, who rarely went to churches (or did not go there at all), painted eggs, baked Easter cakes, addressed each other in a close circle in Bright Sunday with the traditional greeting for this day: “Christ is risen!”
Traditions, customs, rites, and rituals embody the moral essence of society. “Morality is an ideological reflection of the general vital interests of the era,” wrote the German scientist Eduard Fuchs (1870-1940). At the end of XX - beginning of XXI V. voices were increasingly heard about the “decline of morals”, “general immorality”, the lack of modern people concepts of decency, etc. In this regard, we consider it appropriate to make a small historical excursion into the depths of centuries, dwelling in more detail on the picture of the morals of Europe during the Renaissance.
In the XVI-XVII centuries. There was a great revolution in the system of spiritual values. Medieval asceticism was replaced by the desire for fullness of life, joy earthly pleasures. European individualism with a new type of personality was formed. We are talking about a self-confident, enterprising, energetic, full of plans and hopes, not without selfishness, even sometimes predatory, powerful, strong-willed person. He is interested exclusively in earthly problems; high performance, initiative, the ability to do everything, know everything, be able to do everything, do more, etc. are valued in a person.
The man of the Renaissance, unlike the medieval ascetic, had excellent health and a strong physique. In the book “Human Physiology” (XVI century, France), the physical characteristics of a man are described as follows: “Men by nature have a large frame, wide faces, slightly arched eyebrows, large eyes, quadrangular chin, thick sinewy necks, strong shoulders and ribs, broad chest, sunken belly, bony and protruding thighs, sinewy strong thighs and arms, hard knees, strong shins, protruding calves, slender legs” and etc. They loved curvy figures in a woman. A lady whose corsage (part of a woman's dress covering the bust) foreshadows luxurious breasts is valued above all else. These are the women from sensual paintings Flemish artist Peter Paul Rubens(1570-1640). A contemporary explains why for men large women preferable to slender ones: “It is much more pleasant to control a tall and beautiful horse, and the latter gives the rider much more pleasure than a small nag.”
Sensuality, turning into voluptuousness, is perceived as a natural manifestation of human nature. “The laws of nature are most important. Nature created nothing for nothing and provided us with noble organs not only so that we would neglect them, but so that we would use them,” say the characters in the novel “The Decameron” by the Italian writer Giovanni Boccaccio(1313-1375). “Marriage to a strong and well-built man” is the basis of a woman’s physical health.
For the first time in Europe, etiquette standards are becoming in demand by wide sections of the population: the nobility, merchants, and city residents. Good manners were necessary for a gentleman to charm a lady. From France to European languages, and in the 18th century. and in Russian, the concepts of “courtiness” and “elegance” come. Courtoisie- court etiquette, politeness, courtesy; elegance - politeness, external gloss, secularism in the Renaissance. Hence the adjective elegant - beautiful, graceful. During the Renaissance, ideas about court etiquette were formed. They are based on standards and rules of behavior in a given society. The man was perceived by society as the owner of the house, the father of the family. In the living room, his chair was on a raised platform, and the guests were arranged in order corresponding to their status.
Often we perceive a particular era and its great figures by imagining the etiquette features of a given society. Here is the beginning of V. Nabokov’s poem “Shakespeare”:
Among the nobles of Elizabeth’s time, you too shone, honored the magnificent covenants, and the circle of rump, the thigh covered with satin silver, the wedge of the beard - everything was like everyone else...
Mysteries - collar on the chest in the form of frills. It was worn by contemporaries of W. Shakespeare and the philosopher F. Bacon. This is exactly the attire of men of that era that is depicted on the canvases of great artists. For example, “Portrait of a Man with Jockstraps and a Goatee” by Rembrandt.
The monarch's meals were furnished extremely luxuriously. Below is a contemporary description of the ritual of lunches and dinners of Queen Elizabeth I of England (1558-1603). First, two gentlemen bring into the monarch's chambers the symbols of royal power - a staff and a shroud. They kneel three times, spread the tablecloth on the table and leave. Then two other gentlemen bring salt, a dish and bread. Having knelt, they also leave. Next, two noble ladies bring a knife for tasting. They curtsy (a respectful bow with a squat) and remain in the room until the end of the meal. The queen's bodyguards bring twenty-four dishes in golden dishes, and one of the noble ladies cuts off a piece of the food and gives it to the bodyguard to try, in order to protect the first person in the state from poisoning. Then Elizabeth I herself begins the meal. The dishes not eaten by her go to the ladies-in-waiting.
Of course, one should not exaggerate. The elegance of courtiers' dress was at odds with what we would now call "civilized behavior." At royal receptions in France, there were not enough chamber pots with which footmen ran around (the performance of natural needs in the presence of others until the beginning of the 19th century in Europe was not considered something indecent and fit into existing mores). At Versailles, Fontainebleau, and the Louvre, courtiers “water the curtains, urinate in the fireplaces, on the walls, from the balconies.” That is why the court so often changes its location: royal residences are cleaned and washed after guests defecate
TRADITIONAL ETIQUETTE - a system of historically determined norms and standards of behavior characteristic of a particular society. Important component ethnic culture associated with morality. norms and values; manifests itself in empirically observable forms of behavior. In the variety of etiquette standards, the main ones are: E.t. greetings and farewells; ; intrafamily and family-kinship relationships; table and state etiquette. As society modernizes, etiquette norms undergo a transformation towards their simplification.
This. Chuvash. contains both Eastern and Russian. and Western European elements. Archaic features of the East. etiquette saved in , Crimea is regulated, among others, by norms related to greetings and farewells, blessings, gratitude, etc., incl. the requirement to use when addressing relatives (both your own and your spouse’s relatives) not by names, but by terms of kinship and property. Traditional etiquette norms within family and kin. relationships are also an integral part of socionormatives. ethnic culture. In general, E.t. Chuvash. was a manifestation of patriarchal norms. societies with priority for men. a beginning that required submission to the authority of the head of the family (father), at the same time honoring the mother, respect for elders, and care for the younger. It suggested a number of prohibitions, for example, for women to appear with their heads uncovered and in unbelted clothes in front of their husband’s relatives, etc., for young family members - not to interfere in adult conversations without the permission of their father, etc. Customs of table and guest E.t. were closely associated with holidays and rituals; among the Chuvash, for example, they are clearly reflected in the ritual . When going to a feast, the Chuvash prepared gifts (usually beer, pies, roast goose, nuts for children, etc.). The owner met the guests at the gate, and he or the eldest son led the horse into the yard. When meeting, it was customary to conduct a dialogue, in which they tried to elevate the interlocutor, without going beyond the bounds of self-respect. At the feast, they adhered to a strict order of seating at the table: on the side of the hut in the front corner sat the head of the clan, to the right of him were the men (the closest or oldest - closer to the owner, the further the degree of relationship and the younger the guest - the closer to the door). To the left of the head, his wife and women were seated, observing the same order as the men. The place at the opposite end of the table from the head of the family was occupied by the leader of the ritual (kĕrekeçĕ). During the meal, the elders were given special respect. According to Chuvash rules. This. during the ceremonial cases (when saying prayers, wishes, etc.) all guests stood up; the eldest member of the family recited blessings by placing his crossed hands on the heads of his kneeling sons and daughters-in-law. The same sign of reverence and respect was a bow to the waist. After the blessing, those gathered sang a ritual song in honor of the owners of the house. When visiting, despite the plentiful table and the cordiality of the hosts, it was customary not to eat enough.
Lit.: Zolotnitsky N.I. Root Chuvash-Russian dictionary compared with languages and adverbs different nations Turkic, Finnish and other tribes. Kazan, 1875; Kuznetsov A.V. Traditional table etiquette of the Chuvash people. Ch., 2003.
Etiquette is a historical phenomenon. All rules of etiquette, which are expressed in certain forms of behavior, unite the moral, ethical and aesthetic aspects of life. The first side expresses a moral norm: preventative care, respect...
Etiquette is a historical phenomenon. All rules of etiquette, which are expressed in certain forms of behavior, unite the moral, ethical and aesthetic aspects of life. The first side expresses a moral norm: thoughtful care, respect, protection. The second side speaks of the beauty and grace of forms of human behavior.
- Expert advice on etiquette and protocol
- Etiquette rules for kids
- Communication with friends and loved ones
- Table manners
- Etiquette in a business atmosphere
Etiquette as a set of laws of communication
Already in ancient primitive society, during joint work, certain requirements and norms of behavior were developed for all members of society. The oldest codes of conduct that have survived to this day were created five thousand years ago. The ancient Chinese “Book of Historical Legends” lists five basic human positive qualities: philanthropy, loyalty, wisdom, respect for elders, and courage.
Over time, new mores, customs, and morals appeared. Standards of behavior have been honed over centuries and merged into the concept of “etiquette” - a certain code of conduct, norms, and responsibilities that people must adhere to in different life situations.
Etiquette rules for kids
The youngest children already know how to wave goodbye or smile when they meet. Dads teach boys to offer their hands for a firm shake, and mothers introduce babies on the playground, even if the baby himself peeks out from behind the parents.
When raising a child, adults, without noticing it, teach him lessons in etiquette, rules of communication with peers (“Say hello to a friend,” “You can’t take away toys, you need to ask permission,” “A girl needs to be let ahead and protected”) and with elders (“Give flowers for mom”, “Go and meet dad from work”, “Help grandma carry the package”).
Later, children will learn to use cutlery, thank their mother for preparing lunch, and behave correctly when visiting and in public.
You need to teach your child the rules of etiquette from the very beginning. early age. It is a shame for schoolchildren who do not give up their seats on public transport to older people. And, as you know, the easiest way to teach a child is by example. After all, his parents are both an authority and a role model for him. Follow the rules of etiquette yourself, and your child will know and apply them.
Communication with friends and loved ones
If friends constantly send various nonsense (pictures, unnecessary links) to your work inbox, distracting you from work, then best way out– ignore it. Install a spam filter and when asked if the pictures were received, answer that no, since they are filtered out as an attack.
If women try to extort personal details, you can either refuse to answer, or be frank, keeping silent about intimate details and not saying anything about a person behind his back that could not be said to his face.
If a girl has received an invitation to a party or to visit, but she is going to go there with a young man, you need to first ask the organizers of the holiday if it is possible to come not alone.
If, after a get-together in a cafe, friends decide to split the bill equally, you can make an excuse by saying that you didn’t intend to spend it today a large amount and pay only for yourself.
On a date you want to eat, then you need to boldly tell your gentleman about it, perhaps he will invite the lady to a cafe. But you should not order the most expensive dishes, because the visit to the restaurant was not planned, and the bill can put the man in an awkward position.
When breaking up, it is better to express everything in person, not limiting yourself to an email message; moreover, this will confirm your firm intentions not to meet again.
Should a woman accept an expensive gift from a fan to whom she is indifferent? The rules of etiquette leave this to the discretion of the woman herself, but this does not oblige her to anything. If the gift is unpleasant, you can return it with an explanation that it is not possible to give something of equal value.
If a man brags about his former successes on the personal front, you can safely explain to him that it is unpleasant for a woman to listen to this. As an argument, you can ask a man if he would like a story about a woman’s victories.
Etiquette rules when meeting parents
When meeting the parents of your other half, you want to make the best impression, remaining yourself and observing the norms of social etiquette.
There is no need to demonstrate your excitement, you should not try to hide it under the guise of feigned bravado and looseness, it is better to behave naturally.
It is not customary, when visiting potential relatives for the first time, to start a conversation about the furnishings and interior of the house. When sitting down at a set table, you need to take the place indicated by the owners of the house. Be sure to maintain an upright posture and not relax at the table.
There is no need to be overly active from the very beginning of acquaintance or take the initiative to talk. It is better to behave correctly and modestly and answer questions from the groom’s parents. On the very first day of meeting you should tell about yourself only when the owners themselves ask you to do so.
It would be rude to refuse the offered treat, otherwise you could seriously offend your potential mother-in-law. It is advisable to try all the treats offered by the hostess and be sure to express admiration for their taste.
You need to try to stretch out one glass of alcohol for the whole evening, without succumbing to the tricks of a cunning father-in-law or father-in-law, making toasts and adding alcohol.
Girls should not smoke when they first meet; young men can only smoke after an invitation from the owner.
If the reason for getting acquainted was any holiday, then you should take care of gifts for parents in advance. You cannot give pets as gifts, except in cases where it is known for certain that a specific animal is required. Perfumes, individual cosmetics and lingerie are also taboo, because only enough can study the tastes of the housewife close person. Shirts and ties are given only to relatives, so you should not present them to your future father-in-law or father-in-law on the first day of meeting them. It is better to choose beautiful flowers in neutral packaging and choose a good book.
There is no need to prolong your visit; you cannot stay too long visiting. When leaving home, you need to invite the parents of the bride or groom to visit in return.
Table manners
Eating etiquette is determined by traditions, national characteristics. But general rules are the same, every cultured person must know them at least.
Women are invited to the table first, and then men. be late for dinner party and dinner is considered unacceptable. They sit at the table, maintaining a certain comfort distance - not close, but not very far either.
When sitting at the dinner table, elbows should not be placed on the table; an exception is sometimes made for women, but only for a short period of time.
Buns and bread are taken by hand, broken, and not cut with a knife. You cannot bite whole pieces of bread; small pieces are broken off. Even children are not allowed to roll bread crumbs into balls or play with cutlery or napkins. When eating, do not tilt your head low over the plate; carefully bring the spoon or fork to your mouth. You need to drink and eat silently, without slurping or sipping loudly. It is indecent to eat quickly, even if a person is very hungry.
The knife should be held with the right hand, and the fork with the left. However, they do not use a knife, according to the rules of etiquette, when eating spaghetti (you need to use a fork and a large spoon), seafood (you need to pick up crayfish with your hands, and prick shrimp with a fork; there are special tweezers for crabs, lobsters, lobsters), fish, jellies and puddings ( You can use a fork or spoon).
When Yuri Gagarin was invited after the flight to a reception with Queen of England to the palace and offered refreshments, laying them out on the table great amount various forks and knives, the great astronaut became embarrassed. Queen Elizabeth came to his aid, saying that although she grew up in the palace and knew the rules of etiquette by heart, she still did not remember the purpose of all these devices. If at a reception a person does not know how to behave, you can simply observe others or ask for advice.
Etiquette in a business atmosphere
By observing the rules of etiquette at work, a person forms his positive, reliable image of a competent, knowledgeable, well-mannered partner. Experienced employers pay special attention to maintaining etiquette.
You need to be punctual and calculate the time correctly. You cannot say too much to others, discuss your employer and colleagues. You should think not only about yourself, but also about the interests of your partners.
You should dress according to the established norms of a particular society. It is imperative to monitor the correctness and purity of speech. Diction, intonation, pronunciation must be clear. It is unacceptable to use obscene words. The ability to listen to your interlocutor is a valuable quality.