The three pillars on whose backs any psychologist deftly jumps are the patient’s family problems, his depression and his inability to build relationships with the group. Today is about why you find it difficult to make friends.
The reasons why people turn to a psychologist depend on their age.
Older patients They are mainly due to misunderstanding in the family; the top problems also include chronic fatigue and the inability to enjoy their work.
Among the young Another picture: about a third are sure that they suffer from clinical depression, the rest come with questions that can be summarized into one: “Why am I not popular in my social circle?”
- Some of them blame their own shyness and dullness,
- some people sincerely don’t understand why they, being so cool, are still not surrounded by fans,
- Another part complains that there is simply no one to communicate with - all around are uninteresting and shallow people.
Now let's give a few settings that can help you.
Set a goal
It is so easy to hate people, whine, scoff and spew venom that it happens automatically if your life does not satisfy you.
And if your life does not satisfy you, then you are a fool, alas. Because smart person, before writing his doctoral dissertation, he would provide himself with the lower levels of Maslow’s pyramid - food, a roof over his head, safety and mental comfort, which includes the joy of communication.
Once the correlation “whining and scolding people means you’re a fool” will become obvious to you the first step has been taken.
Next step - declare to yourself and the whole world that you are ceasing to be a misanthrope and are striving to love people. Are you afraid that this action will make you look like a fool? Don't be afraid. Misanthropy is generally an ambiguous thing: it seems to you that from the outside you look like Byron or the hero of Dylan Moran in Black Books, when in fact you resemble a pensioner withered by anger with a stick or a teenager whose hormones force him to be a nihilist. The young nihilist, who does not have any significant experience, is pitiful, and the pensioner hates all the girls in short skirts because her life was a waste, she only had two boyfriends, and she would never be able to wear a mini again. Don't be like that.
Keep your social circle high
Stereotypes say that the quality of a friendship is measured by its age, but this is not true. When you develop, you inevitably change, and it’s completely normal that your kindergarten friend Tolka annoys you with his trash reports about the everyday life of a cigarette seller in Nizhny Novgorod, while you try to teach Nabokov more succinctly to Harvard students. You don't have to be friends with people you're not interested in. Communication out of pity is just as rubbish as anything done out of pity.
If you find yourself disgusted with your circle, then it’s time to change your circle. Some people surround themselves with poorer, dumber and less beautiful friends to feel better compared to them. Don't make this mistake.
If you can’t move among equals, it’s better to be the most inexperienced, poorly educated, tongue-tied member of the company. This means you look up to best examples and sooner or later you will raise your standards, while surrounded by outsiders you will inevitably degrade yourself.
There are no uninteresting interlocutors, there are incompetent communicators
Highbrow intellectuals often complain that they have no interest in communicating with most people because they are stupid, banal and predictable. It is unlikely that Sherlock Holmes is dumber than you, you are our genius, and at the same time he found interest in studying people. Facts that seem useless and boring to one person are used by another as material for their thought processes.
You can raise your hands and shout on Twitter about the times and customs, or you can write a monograph on anthropology based on observations of orcs from the neighboring yard.
You can lock yourself in your dacha, eat only hibiscus and mentally argue with Nietzsche, or you can get the watchman from garage cooperative to such an extent that he will trust you with all his sorrows and joys, will feed you mother-in-law’s canned food and let you into empty places for free.
Make communication your favorite sport. In the end, the ability to communicate helps in life much more than many other skills, otherwise why are so many fools getting jobs based on acquaintances and getting paid more than you?
Practice finding strengths
As one said good actor, even the worst actor has something to learn. The most wonderful person has a couple of flaws, the most insane pedophile cannibal has something that can be qualified as cool.
You used to play the find-something-to-catch-up game, now change it to find-something-to-admire. This does not mean that you need to gasp enthusiastically at every word of an inhibited colleague or a cheeky child. Just learn to notice for yourself what is better in this particular individual than in others. The evil one has teeth. The bracelet is from a foolish woman. The gait of a soulless transgender nephew. And so on.
People who are pleasant to talk to immediately find such things and use them in compliments. An unobtrusive compliment opens the way to the heart of any interlocutor. Naturally, if you speak sincerely; fake, forced praise will have the opposite effect.
Don't contradict idiots
Arguing with fools is the second most useless activity in the world. after washing the car in a sandstorm. If it has turned into your hobby, come to your senses before it's too late.
It’s no wonder that you have become a sociopath and a misanthrope, since you constantly communicate with the worst representatives of the human race, for some unknown reason trying to convey to them the light of truth. Let them make mistakes, they will die out faster, and the world will belong to us.
Discuss with those who are able to evaluate your arguments, and simply study fools like ticks and horse flies - in order to understand what they are capable of and how to protect yourself from them.
Look like you want to be talked to
Intellectuals tend to underestimate the role of appearance in communication, but in vain. If you are a girl, do an experiment: go out in black for a week, then in all pink for the next week. Count how many times people came up to you to introduce themselves, asked for directions, made requests, or simply made eyes at you. Be surprised and draw conclusions.
Ditch the death hoodie and throw on a pastel shirt. Swap those tight black jeans that make your butt look less terrible than the rest of your butt for a red skirt and the number of guys you'll attract will increase. A man can forgive overweight woman, but cannot forgive the one who communicates with her outfit “I don’t want to see you, and don’t look at me.”
Control your facial expression and don't go to parties when you feel bad. Nobody needs whiners, except phlegmatic losers who want to look like winners against the background of a whiner.
Don't overdo it with stimulants
Yes, alcohol and all other substances are known as social lubricants. Yes, a couple of cocktails fun company won't hurt. But globally - substances unite you not with people, but with substances. If you can't see your friends sober, think about why you need such friends? See the point about high communication standards.
Become a star
If you are really stressed out by communicating with new acquaintances, all these humiliating searches for attention and awkward interactions, then there is only one way out - become as cool as possible so that you don’t become a celebrity yourself, but so that crowds of admirers come to you on their own.
- Learn to dress so that people will come up to you and ask where you bought it.
- Stop suffering in a boring job and find one where it will be interesting to have a brilliant career.
- Stop whining if your life is dull - fix it, or at least don’t terrorize others with your failures.
- Try all the hobby options and find one that helps you get to know each other (salsa instead of cross stitch).
- Get a Nobel Prize.
Do everything that will favorably distinguish you from the general social background, and the background will lie in a submissive mass at your feet.
One of the most popular women's topics is gender relations. Why do women remain single? In particular, why do some have a loving other half, while other girls only dream of a warm, strong relationship?
Why is an interesting, pretty girl lonely?
Is the thesis that “not everyone can be happy, someone must suffer” true?
This eternal thirst for love
Everything comes from childhood. This phrase is often repeated by psychologists at various forums and trainings. WITH early years our need for love is so great that without it a full-fledged personality cannot grow.
In childhood, such a need is justified. Through affection and care, the child begins to understand the world around him and learns the character of people. He still cannot love himself.
In adulthood, the need for love does not go away. 95% of all women need compliments, affection and especially love from the opposite sex. There are, of course, ladies who feel great alone and isolate themselves from society. But this is rare.
So why don’t girls always receive the “necessary portion” of male love?
2 main reasons for “constant loneliness”
- Fairytale Prince. Many women have a clear idea of what the ideal guy should be like. Certain criteria for “Mr. Perfect” are created in your head: character traits, appearance, habits and even income level. However, meeting such a man in real life is a task, if not impossible, then extremely difficult.
Advice: you need to realize that ideal people doesn't happen. AND ideal relationship does not exist in nature either. If you reduce high demands, then you will definitely meet a worthy partner.
- Looking too hard. The search for a second half often becomes a madness. A woman tries to make acquaintances anywhere: on the street, in a store or in public transport. Such behavior is not only indecent and will not bring desired result, but also very dangerous.
Advice: everything has its time. Spend your time usefully, relax, enjoy life. You will definitely meet the “right” person when you are ready for a relationship.
Only short-term romances
It happens that a girl has a lot of fans, but the relationship does not last long and as a result only brings disappointment. Gradually, such casual connections are becoming the norm. What is the reason?
- A woman does not value or love herself. Self-esteem plays an important role in relationships with men. If a woman doesn’t love herself, then why should others do it?
- Poor understanding of people. Don't waste time on "empty people". Communicate only with worthy people. A man who is not committed to a strong relationship is immediately obvious. If you have other plans, then you shouldn’t start building a relationship.
- Too inaccessible or, on the contrary, too cheeky. Be sincerely interested in your partner's affairs. Be " snow queen» with a straight face is not necessary. And, conversely, there is no need to dream about wedding dress or ask to introduce you to your mother. Know a sense of proportion.
Where do they meet most often?
It is clear that a loved one is unlikely to appear out of nowhere. Although this also happens...
But still, in what places is there a high probability of meeting your other half?
- Through friends. Fun tea party or friendly party– an ideal place for casual communication and new acquaintances. All you have to do is hint to bring a new one interesting person. Friends will probably “pick up” a good candidate.
- Social media. Online dating has become popular not so long ago. Whether it is good or bad - everyone decides for themselves. But the fact is clear: many couples met through the World Wide Web.
- At a disco or concert. Any entertainment facility will do. Of course, you shouldn't go to the theater for a potential date if you hate classical music. However, if you are into dancing, then why not go to a good nightclub? Suddenly you will meet your destiny there.
Simple secrets to a long relationship
Be natural. There is no need to use a ton of cosmetics, constantly go on diets in the hope of getting a wasp waist. A deceptive external gloss will not deter a man. As the great Coco Chanel said, “Nature cannot be ugly.”
However, you shouldn’t walk around with unwashed hair for a week or wear long-worn jeans either. Discreet makeup, a few drops of your favorite perfume and you are on top. A sense of proportion in everything is the first step to a long love affair.
Respect "men's quirks." Everyone has a favorite hobby, habits or ironclad principles. Don't laugh if your loved one takes exactly three minutes to shave or only puts on socks white. Take it for granted.
Don't control your chosen one every second. In particular, minimize the stupidest (in men’s opinion) question on the phone, “Where are you now?”
Take a break from each other. A young man wanted to go to a barbecue with an all-male group? Please! Drinking beer at a bar after midnight? No question! Every couple needs personal space.
No blackmail and manipulation. Don’t throw hysterics, don’t need empty threats like “I’ll leave you” or “I can’t live without you.” This behavior will not lead to anything good
Listen to your man. Admire his achievements. Give thanks for every little thing. Men, like children, need praise and approval.
Become a good housewife. Delicious home-cooked food, a clean house and washed clothes can make a difference decisive role in your candy-bouquet period. As one said famous woman“Girls, learn to cook. It doesn't matter who you marry. You still have to feed him."
The immediate environment. Of course, you don’t have to try hard to like it. best friend or the sister of a lover. However good relationship with your family and friends young man will significantly strengthen the love connection.
Express your feelings. If you love a person, don't be shy to show it.
Self-development. Do what you love, read interesting books, learn languages. It is much easier to carry on a conversation with a smart girl than with a young lady who is only interested in fashionable clothes.
How to love and be loved equally? You can read a lot practical advice from psychologists, but still be lonely.
There is only one main piece of advice - love yourself. There are no shortcomings - there is a special charm. There is no plain appearance - this is natural beauty. Until a woman learns to value and respect herself, no one will love her.
How to be loved? Many girls ask this question. If someone has such thoughts only during the period bad mood, then for other representatives of the fair sex this is a real complex that requires consultation with a psychologist. So, what to do if no one loves you (or seems like they don’t)? Where do all these problems come from and how to deal with them?
There are many ways to deal with the situation on your own. It’s enough just to believe in yourself, find new hobbies, get rid of high or too low self-esteem. The main thing is to understand the problem and believe in yourself. Then everything will work out!
First social environment
Most “adult” psychological problems are formed in childhood, including the level of self-esteem, complexes, the feeling of “unloving” and so on. IN childhood After all, not only the psyche is laid, but also the foundations of relationships with other people, the perception of oneself and the world around us. So if a child is not given the opportunity to feel loved, then where will this feeling come from in adulthood? If the “magic jug of love” is not filled, difficulties arise, psychological problems and violations.
Moreover, what is interesting is that we are not talking about dysfunctional families. Some adults “love” only for good grades, lack bad habits and problems with the law in adolescence. But love and education are completely different things. Whatever the child is, he needs to be loved, otherwise the parents themselves lay huge amount complexes that will haunt a grown daughter or son in adulthood.
What to do if no one loves you? If this feeling has been present since childhood, and does not just occur from time to time against the backdrop of a bad mood, an unsuccessful romance, or a quarrel with parents, then only a qualified psychologist will help you understand the problem. Convincing yourself in this case is completely pointless, scolding is completely harmful.
From lack of love to complexes
The child realizes his personality through the attitude of an adult. If an adult (father, mother, other relatives) loves, cares, and is interested in life and success, then the child himself begins to love himself and learns to appreciate his individuality. In the opposite situation, a child may doubt his “need” and carry the burden of doubt into adulthood. Attention deficit in childhood can lead to an inferiority complex, vulnerability, the habit of hiding in a shell, vulnerability, insufficient level of self-esteem, and self-doubt. The same thing is the root of problems in building relationships in adult life, both friendly and romantic relationships.
From lack of love to aggression
Violations in relationships with parents can cause a girl or young man to wonder what to do if no one loves you as an adult. There are two possible options developments of events. Firstly, the situation can develop into complexes, and secondly, it can cause dislike or even aggression towards others in adulthood.
A person who was “disliked” in childhood can increase his distance from other people in order to avoid the stress of separation, not to be deceived, and to maintain autonomy. So you can completely avoid entering into confidential communication, being content with short-term romances or casual intimate relationships. Another option is to shorten the distance. Intrusive attention can be a way to achieve support and love. There is also a risk here - the risk of dissolving in a relationship, which, as a rule, does not lead to anything good.
From lack of love to love
Even if you had problems in childhood, you can love yourself and the world around you at any age. It's time to take responsibility for own life. This is much better than constantly repeating: “What to do if no one loves you?” You need to forget any excuses for yourself and decide for yourself exactly how to relate to both yourself and the world.
“Why doesn’t anyone love me?” The psychologist's answer can be very simple. For example, marriage specialist G. Chapman claims that one way or another, all parents love their children. The problem can only be that the child did not know how to read this attention, love and care.
Thus, psychologists identify five love languages. Some parents may rejoice at their child’s victories and say words of admiration, while the child himself was waiting for a heart-to-heart conversation. Or, for example, the father and mother spend a lot of time with the child, and the son or daughter is waiting for help in order to feel protected.
Reasons for "dislike"
I want happiness and love for everyone without exception. So the problem needs to be solved. In some cases, you can part with doubts on your own, in others, you will definitely need the help of a psychologist. Despite the fact that psychological problems begin in childhood, the main reasons (“Nobody loves me”) are quite easy to find out.
So, let's start listing the possible causes of the problem. Some people, trying to look funny, begin to irritate with their jokes. But you need to know when to stop. You shouldn’t go too far with your antics and jokes, otherwise the person may simply disappear from your life.
One more possible reason- broadcast of negativity. Example: the usual question “How are you?” Many people say this phrase several times a day, sometimes several dozen times. Of course, people hope to hear something like “good”, “not bad”, “excellent” or any other positive response. But no one likes it when the interlocutor starts telling stories from everyday life. Conclusion: there is no need to once again “burden” others with your problems.
Usually they try to avoid those who look inaccessible. A stern look, an eternal office dress code, closedness to communication - all this does not in any way contribute to friendly relations with other people. They also don't like those who talk a lot, are a negative, obsessive person, play drama, or are arrogant.
Solving the problem
How does a woman become loved? Everything is actually very simple. First you need to love yourself. It is better to deal with the problem slowly, consistently and consciously. Firstly, you need to adequately evaluate yourself, secondly, believe in your strengths, thirdly, you should get rid of fears, fourthly, learn to accept failures normally, fifthly, give up idealization. Now about all the stages in more detail.
Increased self-esteem
People around them love and respect those who move through life easily and are always charged with positivity, and do not delve into childhood grievances and complexes. To correct a situation with low self-esteem, you can, for example, work on your appearance. It’s worth thinking about how to fix everything that can be corrected and irritates you in order to finally learn to love yourself. Maybe you need to lose a couple of extra pounds or visit a solarium? A manicure session lifts your mood no worse than a delicious chocolate bar. You can also change your hairstyle, get a piercing or even a tattoo (possibly temporary). Cleaning, rearranging the house or making repairs also have a “therapeutic” effect.
How to be loved?
What if people try to avoid because of the princess's habits? In this case, what should you do if no one loves you? You need to remember that no one should or is obliged to be perfect in everything; you should also show respect for all people, take criticism calmly, and analyze your mistakes.
Self-confidence
You need to get out of your head the idea that nothing will work out. There are many life-affirming examples of those who, despite physical disabilities or constant bad luck, coped with the situation, pulled themselves together and achieved success.
Getting rid of fears
There is no need to be afraid that the situation will never change. The level of self-esteem can rise even after buying a new dress, so being sad that now something is not as you would like is, as a rule, pointless. Maybe you should not sigh about the hard life, but just think about how to improve the situation in better side? You should not regret the absence of a partner, because many charming ladies live very rich lives even despite the fact that they did not marry family nest. Among them, for example, Coco Chanel or Charlize Theron.
The ability to perceive failures positively
What makes successful people different? As a rule, such individuals perceive all failures only in a positive way. After all, every mistake or unfortunate set of circumstances is only an opportunity to do the right thing next time. Many outstanding personalities that's exactly what they did. For example, famous writer Stephen King went through as many as thirty publishing houses before he managed to publish the cult novel Carrie, and actress Faina Ranevskaya, at the beginning of her career, was kicked out of a theater near Moscow and called “complete mediocrity.”
In addition, it is very useful to abandon idealization. You can recall, for example, that practically none of the models have perfect appearance and intelligence Nobel laureate. You can love someone simply here and now, as well as yourself. Self-development should bring pleasure, and being fixated on someone does not improve your mood and self-esteem at all. You just need to enjoy the most beautiful relationship in life, that is, an affair with yourself. Also, understand that other people can enjoy this novel too. You need to work on yourself, develop and communicate with other people with pleasure.
Oddly enough, the question “Why doesn’t anyone love me” ranks high in search engine statistics. This question can concern both a teenager during a rather problematic period in life, when there is a great need for love, and an adult, for example, an employee who is faced with misunderstanding and rejection in the team.
Should you blame yourself for something? Should I withdraw into myself even more because I don’t suit someone and don’t get the proper response to my attitude? In fact, it is impossible to please everyone around you. All people are different, just as we are not perfect, so are those who evaluate us. Not everyone thinks about the fact that it is worth loving or at least showing respect/attention to those around you. You need to understand that, first of all, everyone in to a greater extent focused only on himself.
So, we live in such a world of egoists with their own tastes and preferences, and if you look closely, it turns out that I am the same. Therefore, I desperately seek this love from others, so I am offended when they don’t love me.
Step to Decision #1 – Does Nobody Really Love Me?
Yes, we understand and take seriously that you are on this page looking for an answer to your question. But before we understand the reasons why they don’t like you, let’s still try to honestly figure out whether you really are nobody doesn't like it? Not a single person on this earth? Or are you just not getting the benefits you deserve only in a certain society?
Many of us have a family, these are either parents, or brothers/sisters, grandparents, some may have everything together. Have friends with different periods life, or were. There are people with whom we cross paths every day. Is there really no one among them who is good-natured towards you? And does everyone really express some kind of negativity towards you and constantly make it clear that you are not loved or accepted here?
Answering these questions honestly will help someone see that things may not be quite as they seem and that there are people who love you. So, even if, besides these people, there is someone who, as it seems to you, does not love you, the first step to solving the problem is to be grateful for those people who are nearby and love you. Encourage yourself to interact with these people and develop these relationships.
Step to decision No. 2 - Do I... love?
Wait, they don’t like me, we wanted to sort them out! Yes, it’s easy to expect something from others, we always want love and attention, and at least simple acceptance and understanding! But...if there are situations in which people are drawn to us on their own, then in most cases it all starts with me. If I am looking for love, then I need to be the first to show this love and attention. “Whoever wants to have friends must be friendly himself” is a simple truth, but it is the basis of any relationship.
Cases may be different, and if you have not been accepted in some society for a long time and you have become quite burdened with this, of course, it will be difficult to immediately begin to show friendliness towards them. You may think that it doesn't look natural. Well, it's still worth trying to start with the little things. If this is a large team, try to look for an approach first to someone with whom you may be easier than with others. This way you will gradually be able to join the team.
If you meet halfway, but you are not accepted at all, this does not mean that there is something wrong with you. But if most people don't want to communicate with you, it's worth wondering why this might be... What might they not like about you?
10 reasons why people don't like you
Can't stop in time
There are some people who are annoying while trying to be funny. People don't like it when you go too far with your jokes and antics, many simply leave when you start to bore them. You need to know when to stop.
Negative when asked: “How are you?”
I'm sure every adult asked the question "How are you?" Sometimes even more than 20 times a day.
If the answer is positive, people like it. If you start telling a negative story about everyday life, people don't like it. They don’t care whether you are tired or not, that you need to work, that your leg is numb, or anything else.
If someone asks while walking: “How are you?”, it is better to answer: “Not bad.” Each of us has problems and difficulties, but we need to be able to keep it to ourselves. The truth is that people will not cry and suffer because of your everyday problems.
You seem unreachable
Your stern appearance, weighed down or just a concentrated, gloomy look, can tell people that you are closed to communication. No, in fact we hope these words don't describe your look. Try to be in good mood and make it visible on your face. Interested and smiling eyes, a slight smile - that's enough.
Always making excuses
Just as in the case of answering the question “How are you?”, people do not like to be justified in front of them.
For example: “Why are you late?” “I was driving a car, and suddenly a deer jumped out onto the road. I slammed on the brakes and drifted to the side of the road. A man was driving nearby, but he couldn’t help because he was taking his pregnant wife to the hospital.” “Why didn’t you call anyone?” “Oh, yes, I was so shocked that I forgot about my mobile phone. When I remembered, I saw that he was dead. I forgot to charge..."
Stop! Enough! Just say, "I fell asleep." Even if you didn’t sleep, there were other problems, this is not a reason to build long excuses. The bosses don't like it. Friends don't like it. People, in most cases, don't like it. Even if it is your fault, you will be respected for your honesty and candor.
If you think that you will get something from excuses, you are mistaken, be wiser! People will not be able to trust you, you will notice how they will be removed from your life.
Think negatively about everything and everyone
People want happiness. To be included and understood. They want joy. If you talk to someone and only express negativity, you destroy joy, hope and happiness. Who likes this?
We said before that there are annoying, intrusive people. This doesn't mean you have to be an opponent, negative person. Get rid of this, you will become more effective and people will want to be with you.
Your life is what you make it. Become aware of this so that others can accommodate you. Otherwise, don't whine that you don't have friends - look at yourself.
You talk too much
We all know people who can't shut up and encourage others to talk to them. If you talk non-stop and only catch your breath between topics, people won't like you.
People may be polite and nod their heads at you, or they may get bored and stop calling you and avoid you.
When you talk and talk and talk, you may not notice what others want to add to the conversation. Also, you can talk about things that the interlocutors are not interested in. Listening to your interlocutor is still the most important rule of communication.
Your life is a drama
Is there always some drama happening in your life? Is chaos and devastation always on your way, or are you confusing something? You can attract attention and be the center of attention for a while. Even if you get some sympathy, people will notice if it happens too often.
Playing out drama is deadly to a relationship, any relationship. Nobody likes drama. Try not to get carried away by dramatizing events.
You are the best
Oddly enough, this is a problem! Let's say you walk up to a group of people at a party and they go silent. Why? Because as history shows, you always get the better of everyone, or blame someone who told the real story.
People don't like to share their moment of glory. Let them have it. Wait a minute, if you see that people are ready to hear, speak up.
It's not impressive when you try to share someone else's glory. On the contrary, it shows how selfish you are and are unable to listen to others. Competing is good, but being always on top is against the rules. Such people are left alone, alone with their ego.
You are the center of the universe
You have a head. You have hair. You have style. You have a figure. You also have better air than others. Maybe at school you could surprise others with this, but now real life. Your arrogance turns people off. Your self-centeredness and self-love will not be respected.
You should prove yourself different levels. This is a sign of respect and understanding of the people around you.
Step to Solution #3 - Don't Expect
The secret of how not to be disappointed is not to be “fascinated”; how to avoid unfulfilled expectations is not to expect!
When you know that some effort has been made on your part, when you know that you are not pushing people away with some serious annoying actions... You just have to leave your expectations, demands and accept reality as it is. Nobody owes anyone anything. No specifically. But such free man like you now, will be able to find a person to your liking!
Live now, because life is a moment, yesterday was the past, and tomorrow will never be!
The world doesn't owe you anything, you have everything to live fully. If you want to live in torment the way you want, stew in own juice. But a person can find true happiness in himself. Only this happiness is not an emotion, but a decision to be happy.
If you want to enjoy life, stop blaming everything around you. Move forward. Grow up, be a nice person, and your life will sparkle with joyful moments.
If you want to have success in relationships with your employer, family relationships and others, break your habits! Being closed, gloomy, and vain can become an obstacle to a fulfilling life in general. This way you will never be able to win a person's favor. You can help someone who has this problem.
Few people experience loneliness comfortably. In difficult moments of life, everyone wants to feel support and care. Not everyone can be happy alone, especially for women, it is important to be needed by someone and feel loved. But how to win the sympathy and affection of others? Before looking for the answer to this question, let's try to answer the first one: why doesn't anyone love me?
Love starts with family
Happy and confident people grow up in families where it is customary to talk about love to each other every day. It is important for a child to realize and feel that he is the best and dearest to his parents, no matter what. However, many mothers are embarrassed by their feelings or are afraid of spoiling their baby. As a result, the little person hears words of love only on special occasions and holidays. The question “why doesn’t anyone love me?” will definitely arise in the head of such a grown-up child who will never learn to accept the feelings of others and reciprocate them. There are worse situations. For example, parents wanted a girl, but they got a boy. In this case, the attitude towards the baby is predetermined, and he has to win the attention of his parents from birth. In much the same way, a child has to fight for the affection of loved ones if his birth was not planned. Accordingly, the best advice to parents at all times: love your children, no matter what they are, and do not forget to tell them about it.
The need for love in adolescence
Adolescence is one of the most difficult years in a person’s life. In any association of guys there are 1-2 leaders and a number of their associates, and all the rest are “average” and outright outcasts. Be popular at school sports section or a yard company is extremely difficult. The question “why doesn’t any of the boys like me?” sooner or later comes to the mind of every girl. Of course, we are usually talking about a specific young man, and not about all representatives of the opposite sex. Unrequited romantic love in adolescence is a normal phenomenon, which is one of the stages of mental development of the individual and the formation of sexuality. But at the same time, despite their desire to appear mature and independent, teenagers urgently need the love of their parents and understanding in the family.
Forced or voluntary loneliness?
“Why doesn’t anyone love me?” - one of the “favorite” questions of lonely people or those who do not have spiritual closeness with others. However, loneliness does not have to be physical. People who have families and are active can suffer from a lack of understanding of others. social life. Your loneliness should be understood and accepted. Next, you need to understand its reasons. If you are completely alone and there is no one around, the reason is most likely you. The most common two scenarios are: the person himself avoids other people, does not meet or communicate with anyone, or he tries to improve relationships, but somehow pushes those around him away. Accordingly, every problem has its own solution. Try to communicate more with the most different people and look for like-minded people. Once they are found, try to build positive friendships without offending or alienating the people you choose.
About self-love...
Before asking yourself: “why doesn’t anyone love me,” try to find the answer to another question: do you love yourself? One of the basic laws of interaction between people is that another person will appear in your life and feel something special only after you learn to live in harmony with yourself. Internal contradictions and dissatisfaction with yourself will not attract happiness into your life. Loving a happy and self-sufficient person is a pleasure, but an unsettled person who is always dissatisfied with himself is a real torment. Let go of all negative emotions, forget about past failures and accept yourself. This does not mean that you should stop developing and working on yourself, you just need to realize and accept yourself with love. Example positive thinking- rationally assess your own shortcomings and want to correct them, calmly accepting criticism and failures. Even if something doesn’t work out right away, don’t blame yourself, celebrate this failure and think about how to fix everything and achieve your goal in the future.
Qualities that are difficult to love
If you can safely use the statement “no one has ever loved me” in your address, then it’s time to figure out what the reasons are. Nobody wants to be around negative people who are always dissatisfied with what is happening, the weather, politics and everyone around them. It’s difficult to get rid of the habit of expressing your dissatisfaction with any reason, but if you try to focus on positive things, over time you will definitely succeed.
It is also unpleasant to communicate with arrogant people - arrogant people who consider themselves much better and superior to those around them. Self-love and the ability to be proud of your own actions are good, but remember that you should always observe moderation. A tendency to spread gossip and excessive talkativeness are also not the best character traits that, unfortunately, are characteristic of a large number women. Stop talking about others or constantly mentioning yourself. Learn to communicate on neutral topics, talk about art or good weather. And, most importantly, let your interlocutor speak out, listen carefully, and then you will have much more friends, and perhaps even a loved one will appear very soon.
Why no one loves me: psychology of communication for every day
If you want to win the affection of others, you will have to relearn the skill of communication. Remember once and for all: all people are different. Learn to accept others with their strengths and weaknesses, try to communicate more with those who think the same way as you and have similar tastes. Smile more often, try to spread positivity to others. Keep the conversation meaningful: sympathize if they share problems with you, support when the person needs it, or listen silently. Treat everyone with respect. Even if a child asks you: “Why doesn’t anyone like me in class?”, and you at the moment you are thinking about something completely different, discuss the problem with him and try to figure it out. Try to be happy as often as possible, find your hobby and live a full life interesting life. And then those around you will be drawn to you, problems with the lack of their attention and love will not arise.