Body language - what does it mean, how to understand what body language is telling us? Body language

It is common for a person to express his emotions and feelings in the process of communication, regardless of oral presentation or in the form of written messages. People, in direct contact with each other, using facial expressions, body language and gestures contribute to the narrative bright colors. It becomes possible to understand whether the interlocutor was interested in this topic or left indifferent.

Nonverbal communication. Truth or myth?

Some doubt the existence of body language, considering all conversations on this topic to be empty fiction.

Opponents of the theory of postures and gestures argue that changes in body position occur for completely different reasons. For example, when sitting, it is more convenient for a person to cross his arms if there are no armrests, and not at all because he is a misanthrope.

People start yawning not only because they start to get bored. Lack of oxygen in a cramped office or overwork can trigger this process. Therefore, before formulating conclusions, it is necessary to understand why the interlocutor began to actively gesticulate or rotate an object in his hands.

An experiment will help reveal sign language. And the subjects can be friends and relatives, whose facial expressions, postures and gestures are in different life situations are changing. But in no case should you impose and put pressure, otherwise you can damage many years of friendship and good relationships.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal means of communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without using speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60–80% of veiled information.

Each of us, when communicating with an opponent who competently sets out the essence of the matter and argues with facts, often feels some kind of catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and veracity of the information, intuition suggests that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, the person is looking for something to complain about.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, posture and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. A certain inconsistency appears and serious concerns arise that he is not acting in your interests at all.

It is difficult for a person to hold back emotions for a long time; they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, rules of decency and norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them by changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and turns into a habit.

Examples of nonverbal communication

• If a girl, showing off her wrist, communicates with a member of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get closer to him. And if he also paints his lips with bright lipstick, then he has truly become the object of her passion.

• There is a common method of establishing contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor crossed his arms, you can repeat this body movement. This manipulation promotes non-verbal unity. There is a whole set of such small tricks.

To grasp the true meaning, you need to pay close attention to the position of the interlocutor's hands and feet.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the truth, and sometimes contradict what was said.

It's hard to believe a man with crossed limbs convincing another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill his promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of his partners for his personal interests.

Through gestures and posture you can hide some information from your opponents. Despite the casualness and ease of communication, the posture makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

Psychology of Gestures

Alan Pease, a famous psychologist, is called "Mr. Body Language." The author has published his works in millions of copies. Alana Pease set out to not only teach the reader to “decipher” body language, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Even the slightest changes do not escape his attention, up to the dilation of the pupils and the closing of the eyelids.

Firstly, there is an opportunity to establish communications.

Secondly, it is possible to calculate with a high degree of probability further actions person.

From the standpoint of psychological knowledge, Alan focuses on distinctive features behavior and gestures in women and men.

In addition to gender differences, the body movements of managers and subordinates differ sharply. Watching a conversation, you can record the rapid change of emotions.

Nonverbal behavior and gestures

• If a friend is hunched over, this indicates that he has been severely offended or has experienced severe stress. The exorbitant “severity of the problems” does not allow him to straighten his shoulders. He feels discomfort because he cannot cope with the situation and thus closes down.

• If the interlocutor leans towards the speaker, this means that he is interested in the topic of the conversation. So he tries to get closer to the source of information.

• By tilting his head and simultaneously lowering his eyelids, the interlocutor expresses complete approval. There is no doubt about his respectful attitude. On the contrary, if a person often touches his face with his hands, touching his eyes or the corners of his mouth, he does not trust you.

• An individual's condition is revealed by his hands. When excited and irritated, it is common for a person to stroke himself, straighten his hair, or roll and fiddle with the first objects he comes across in his hands. Sometimes he puts his fingers in his mouth. In this case, he needs the support and approval of his opponent.

• Trust, openness, and willingness to cooperate are demonstrated by open palms. If he doesn't cross his elbows or legs, he will appeal to you. And if he puts his hands behind his back and raises his chin high, he thereby demonstrates his superiority.

• To convince your partner of a serious and responsible approach to further cooperation, you should use the following method. During business negotiations, it is necessary to mentally draw a potential partner a triangle between the eyes above the bridge of the nose and look into this area.

75 signs of body language according to Max Eggert

According to research, only a tenth of information is conveyed through words. The rest comes from gestures, facial expressions and intonation. The first intuitive “scanning” of a person takes approximately 10 seconds. People don't always say what they think, but the body doesn't know how to lie. Hidden feelings find their way out through gestures. The psychology of nonverbal communication is very broad and multifaceted. Having learned to understand human gestures and their meanings, it will be much easier to find out the truth.

Classification of gestures

When a person’s emotional background increases, he stops taking care of his body. But when trying to unravel the thoughts of others, it is necessary to take into account situational factors in order for the judgment to be correct. For example, if a person crosses his arms over his chest in severe frosts, this can only mean that he is cold, and not hidden and withdrawn.

Human gesticulation is divided into types:

Generally accepted;

Emotional;

Ritual;

Individual.

Hand movements

Studying human gestures and their meanings, special attention It's worth paying attention to your hands. It is their movements that make up most of the communication. Many of them have become so familiar and commonplace that they have ceased to be noticed. But even simple gestures, when examined in more detail, can turn out to be entertaining.

Handshake

When one person greets another, manner can say a lot. Powerful people serve it palm down. When respect is present, the hand is presented edge down. If a person is flexible and knows how to find compromises, he holds it out with his palm up. Morally weak people uncertain and very weak, while aggressive ones, on the contrary, are very strong, at this time their arm is completely straightened and tense.

Open and closed gestures

When thinking about how to understand a person by gestures, you need to know that they can be open and closed. The first refers to those movements when a person spreads his arms to the side or shows his palms. They indicate that he is ready for contact and open to communication.

Closed gestures include those that help a person build a psychological barrier. The body can be covered not only by hands, but also by foreign objects. Such manipulations indicate that the person does not trust the interlocutor and is not ready to open up to him. This could be clasped fingers or crossed arms.

By studying human gestures and their meanings, experts have come to the conclusion that people who place their palms on their palms or clasp their hands behind their backs feel superior to others and have high self-esteem. Aggression can be indicated by hands placed in a pocket while the thumb remains outside.

Touching the face

If during a conversation the interlocutor constantly touches his face, ears or neck, this should alert you. Most likely he is lying. Movements of the hands near the mouth may indicate that the person lacks support and approval. But it is also worth considering external factors: perhaps the interlocutor is scratching his eyes and touching his nose due to a cold or allergies.

People who are passionate about something often prop up their cheek. If a person scratches his chin, it means he is in the process of making some important decision.

Tilts

To find mutual understanding, it is important to know what a person’s facial expressions and gestures indicate. The psychology of nonverbal communication is the key to success. Many movements are carried out on a subconscious level, so it is almost impossible to control them.

When a person feels sympathy for the interlocutor and is ready to make contact with him, he usually leans towards him. If he is sitting, the body can lean forward, but the legs remain in place. Leaning to the side, he shows a friendly attitude. When your interlocutor leans back in his chair, he may have become bored with the conversation and lost interest in it.

Personal boundaries

Why do you need to know how to read human gestures? People have certain rules regarding their personal territory and space. A person who likes to violate them and invade other people's boundaries loves to show strength and show off in public. Confident people often take up a little more space: they stretch their legs and place their arms comfortably. A constrained person tries to assume a fetal position.

Not everyone is ready to let their interlocutor into their personal space. If a person tenses internally, crosses his arms and moves back, then he is not ready for close contact.

If a person is standing far away...

A person who becomes distant from the interlocutor seems arrogant. But in fact, he is simply afraid to get close to others. He may be irritated by the appearance or topic of conversation, and he wants to quickly end the conversation. Often people who are used to distancing themselves feel fear in their souls.

Copying movements

If you want to figure out how to understand a person by gestures, you should pay attention to whether he is copying other people’s movements. When your interlocutor imitates, this indicates that he feels sympathy and has a positive attitude.

Rocking

Such body movements, as well as corresponding gestures and facial expressions of a person, indicate internal restlessness or impatience. In moments of excitement, adults can rock from heel to toe to calm down a little. But the interlocutor is unlikely to like this behavior: it distracts and confuses the speaker, preventing him from concentrating.

Fidgeting

When people become nervous, their body can produce a lot of different information. Fidgeting says as much as facial expressions and gestures. When a person feels insecure, he makes various movements, such as wringing his hands or fidgeting in his chair. This helps him take his mind off the unpleasant situation.

If the interlocutor constantly fiddles with his tie, perhaps he lied or simply wants to leave the society in which he is.

Head tilts

A head tilted to the side is a sign that the interlocutor is interested in the conversation, he is ready to listen and is interested in continuing it. Such human gestures and their meanings are unambiguous and indicate that he is completely concentrated on the perception of information.

Head nodding and sudden movements

Psychologists have long noticed that if a person does not like what he hears, he unconsciously makes a sharp movement of his head in the opposite direction from the speaker. Thus, he creates a barrier between himself and the source of discomfort.

People who constantly nod in response to their interlocutor's speeches are used to pleasing everyone. They really want to be liked by everyone and receive the approval of others. As a rule, these people lack self-confidence and are afraid of being rejected.

If a person shakes his head, then he expresses internal disagreement with his interlocutor.

Head down and up

A person who conducts a conversation with his head bowed low is modest and insecure, he suffers from low self-esteem. Perhaps in at the moment he is depressed or deeply unhappy.

A raised head and a raised chin are a sign of aggressiveness and hostility. Perhaps the person feels an impending threat and is ready to go to any extreme to protect himself.

If the interlocutor constantly throws his head back, this may indicate contempt or arrogance.

Scratching

This movement does not matter only when a person is sick with something. In other situations, it is an indicator that the interlocutor is experiencing awkwardness or uncertainty. It is much easier to find contact with others if you know what a person’s facial expressions and gestures mean. The psychology of nonverbal communication will help resolve the situation without leading it to conflict. Sometimes people may scratch their heads when they don't like something. By promptly offering your interlocutor an alternative option, you can avoid disputes and criticism.

Often a person scratches himself if he does not understand the question. By changing the wording and explaining in more detail what is required of him, you can give him time to prepare an answer.

Shoulder movements

Such gestures may indicate that the person is indifferent to what is happening, or that he is lying. This can also be regarded as uncertainty in the words spoken. During a false story, people shrug their shoulders very quickly. This twitching helps them compose themselves and appear collected and calm. Raised shoulders are a sign of insecurity.

Flirting gestures

When a person wants to attract the attention of the opposite sex, he touches his hair or adjusts his clothes. Sometimes there is increased gesticulation and agitation. Women can twirl a lock of hair on their finger or touch up their makeup. Men, when communicating with a lady they like, want to appear strong and confident. They put their hands on their belts or put them in their pockets, playing with the belt, attracting attention.

Disguised Gestures

They help a person achieve the desired level of calm and security. Instead of directly crossing the arms, various objects are used: cufflinks, watch strap or bracelets. But the result of these manipulations is always the same: one arm ends up across the body, thus creating protection. This indicates nervousness.

Hands dangling

For full communication, it is very important to understand what human gestures mean. If during a conversation one of his hands dangles chaotically, draws some lines or describes circles, this may indicate that the interlocutor is deceiving.

If a person wants to express criticism or is dissatisfied with what is happening, he often takes the following position: one hand rests his chin and his index finger is straightened. The other hand can support the elbow. If, in combination with this, one or two eyebrows are lowered, then inside the person clearly does not approve of the interlocutor.

Rubbing your neck

When a person rubs his ear or neck during communication, most likely he does not fully understand what is required of him. His assurances that everything is clear to him are a deception. Of course, if such actions are not caused by yesterday's draft and pain.

Mouth covered with hand

Friction of the eyelid may also indicate that the interlocutor is telling a lie. If the deception is quite serious, the person may look away or down, stroking the neck or ears. But all these signs should be considered together.

• People who want to emphasize their unwavering positions may make firm hand gestures to emphasize the transition from one topic to another. Photos clearly demonstrate such gestures of people.

• If the situation is very tense, you should use hand movements to defuse it a little. Serious phrases can be illustrated with funny gestures. This will cheer up the audience a little and charge the atmosphere with positivity.
• Don't become a clown and make ridiculous movements. A person's gestures and facial expressions should draw attention to the main conversation, and not distract from it. In addition, they must be understandable to everyone present.

Introduction

A person conveys information not only with the help of words (verbally), but also with the help of gestures, facial expressions, posture, gaze, appearance, distance during conversation, decorations - that is, with the help of non-verbal signals. It has been proven that we receive most of the information about a person (about 80%) from non-verbal sources, while words give us only 20% of all information. Very often, nonverbal information remains “behind the scenes” of our perception, because we do not know how to read and interpret it.

We often do not notice the obvious: we believe formally spoken words of agreement, while the person nods his head negatively, trying to warn us - I don’t agree. We don’t pay attention to the fact that the person greeting us with a smile has his arms crossed over his chest - a sign of a defensive position - “I’m uncomfortable and uncomfortable.”

The book is intended for those who want to learn to read the language of gestures, facial expressions, postures, etc., for those who want to learn more about their interlocutor than he tells about himself, for those who want to decipher the true motives of a person’s behavior, determine the momentary mood interlocutor. If you learn to control your body using only those nonverbal cues that help create positive image, set your interlocutor up for positivity, then this book is for you. In order to make your body an ally and not a traitor, you must study the alphabet of gestures well, imagine what each non-verbal signal means. We offer you this book for future reference. most valuable experience acquired after reading it.

Chapter 1
What do human gestures say?

Rule #1

How to recognize gestures from the “I’m thinking” category

A person who is in thought is absent from reality; he does not hear or see what is happening around him, since he is in the world of his own thoughts and fantasies. It should be noted: when a person thinks or fantasizes, do not waste important arguments, he will not perceive them anyway, will not hear them.

It must be remembered that in a person who is in thought, the most active area of ​​the brain is, so he tries to focus our attention on it, as if warning: “Don’t interfere - I’m thinking.” For a person who is lost in thought and distracted from the conversation, the following gestures are typical: hands to the forehead in different positions, a person can rub his temples, scratch the back of his head. This kind of gestures has another purpose: a person thus tries to increase the efficiency of the brain, adjusts his “thinking apparatus” to solve a difficult problem. Hence all kinds of stroking and scratching.

In addition to gestures, a person’s posture reveals a thoughtful person. Remember “The Thinker” by Auguste Rodin: he sits with his cheek resting on his hand. If your interlocutor is characterized by this posture, most likely he has been distracted from your conversation and is thinking about something of his own. To confirm your assumptions, pay attention to his gaze. A person who is far, far away - in his dreams and fantasies - is characterized by the so-called “look into nowhere”: absent, unfocused.

By the posture of a thinking person, you can approximately determine what he is thinking about. If a person relies on right hand or rubs his right temple, which means his thoughts involve left hemisphere brain (according to the law of cross distribution of zones of influence of the brain), which is responsible for the logical, analytical abilities of a person. Consequently, at the moment a person is busy with analysis, he is occupied with questions that require detailed calculations. In this case, a person’s gaze can be concentrated, focused on one point. If a person relies on left hand, which means it is involved right hemisphere brain, which is responsible for the sensory side human nature. A person most likely philosophizes, fantasizes, his thoughts lack clarity, specificity and do not require analysis. The gaze is not focused on one point, but, on the contrary, is blurry, directed to nowhere.

If you notice similar signs in your interlocutor, then it is possible that he is not listening to you, but is immersed in his own thoughts. To make sure that he perceives the information, you can ask him a question. If there is no answer, know that your interlocutor is in deep thought. You need to either wait until he wakes up from his thoughts, or influence him: say something loudly or touch him.

Rule #2

How to recognize gestures from the “I’m interested” category

It is important to understand whether the interlocutor is interested in you. Often verbal signs of interest are imaginary, and only with the help of non-verbal communication can you understand how interested your interlocutor is. Verbally, the interlocutor can show interest by asking questions, clarifying details, asking to repeat. But this, alas, is not a 100% indicator of interest. Questions can only mean a reluctance to offend you, formal politeness, but not interest.

An interested person, as a rule, is quite stingy with gestures. A person may be so focused on the interlocutor or interesting information that he tries not to make noise so as not to miss the thread of the conversation. It is not for nothing that in a classroom or auditorium, where schoolchildren or students are interested in what the teacher is talking about, there is perfect silence.

But there are other non-verbal ways to determine the interest of the interlocutor. A person who is interested in what is happening strives with his whole being to get closer to the source of information. You can notice the tilt of the body towards the speaker: the listener strives to be closer to him.

It happens that a person is so carried away by what is happening that he simply ceases to control his body. He may forget to close his mouth or open his eyes wide - these are facial signs that indicate that the person is surprised, amazed, and in the most interested state.

If you were unable to detect any of the listed “symptoms” of interest in your interlocutor, you should urgently change tactics - change the topic of the conversation, increase the emotionality of what is being said, otherwise your message will be insignificant for your interlocutor and will not bring the results you need.

Rule #3

How to recognize gestures from the category “I respect you”

Respect is one of those aspects of human relationships that you need to achieve throughout your life. It can be difficult to determine whether a person's respect is true or false. Do they give you a hand with a desire to greet you or because of an established tradition?

There are not so many gestures indicating respect. In order to determine how they treat you, pay attention to how the person greets you. A handshake is a very ancient tradition, which previously had not only a ritual meaning - to greet a newcomer, but also meant that people came to meet each other without bad intentions, without weapons. Now this ritual has acquired other meanings. A person who treats you with respect offers his hand first or at the same time as you. He does not try to immediately remove his hand: a respectful handshake should be long. The arm should be extended, and in no case bent at the elbow. Thus, the person should not cause you inconvenience, should not force you to reach out. Rather, on the contrary, he is trying to create the most comfortable conditions for you.

The following can be considered a gesture of respect: a man shakes a woman’s hand at the exit from public transport. It can also be formal, it just means that the person is familiar with the rules good manners. If this is a gesture of true respect, then the person giving the hand should look at you and try to catch your hand.

Bowing your head is a gesture of respect. Pay attention to how the person tilts his head. A respectful bow may be accompanied by lowering the eyelids (this comes from the ancient tradition of greeting royalty - they are so majestic and powerful that people did not even dare to look at them, so they lowered their eyelids).

In some Western countries A hug is a nonverbal way to demonstrate your affection and respect for a person, even if there is no close relationship between these people. Hugs are allowed after the first meeting if people have found kindred spirits in each other. This is, in essence, reducing the distance between people to a minimum. In other words, you are letting a stranger into your personal zone and invading his personal space. There is a direct contact that means: “I understand you, I accept you, I treat you with respect.” In our country, as a rule, hugs are acceptable only between close friends and relatives.

Rule #4

How to recognize gestures from the “I doubt” category

What gestures, postures and facial expressions indicate that a person is in doubt about making a decision? How to determine that he is not ready to give an objective assessment of the events taking place? You can easily calculate whether your interlocutor is inclined to agree with you and accept your point of view.

The state of doubt is a twofold state. It has its pros and cons. The person, on the one hand, has not yet refused you, has not made a definitively negative decision, he does not tell you “no” peremptorily. On the other hand, your argument is not convincing enough; the person has not yet agreed with your arguments.

A person who has not made a decision is characterized by gestures and postures of reflection, which indicate that he is still analyzing the situation and is full of attention. He may express distrust. If a person doubts the arguments you make, he tries not to look you in the eyes. His gaze may wander around the room, he may look out the window, try to abstract himself from your arguments and independently think about the pros and cons of your proposal. An even more dangerous direction to look is towards the exit. This means that he is inclined to answer negatively and intends to leave in the near future.

A doubting person is characterized by fingering, rubbing, scratching gestures - repetitive, monotonous. These gestures have following values: firstly, they are associated with mental activity (a person is thinking about your arguments), secondly, they have the goal of distracting your attention and confusing you. A person in a state of doubt does not concentrate on you and your arguments; there is some nervousness and fussiness in his movements and gestures.

Here are some examples of such gestures: rubbing or scratching the eye, the corners of the mouth, they mean that the person suspects you of lying, and there is a catch in your arguments.

Another gesture that clearly indicates that a person is in a state of doubt is a shrug. Often this is an unconscious gesture. For example, a person may agree or disagree with you, but at the same time he completely unintentionally shrugs his shoulders - this is a nonverbal signal that indicates his uncertainty in the decision taken. Such disharmony in verbal and non-verbal behavior suggests that you can change the situation. Even if your interlocutor has made a decision that is unfavorable to you, you can convince him. If he agreed with your arguments, but expresses uncertainty and shrugs, this indicates that you must reinforce his confidence in the decision made. Otherwise, after talking with other people, he will change his mind.

Rule #5

How to recognize gestures from the "I'm on guard" category

If a person feels threatened by you, fears that you might attack him or do something not very pleasant for him, he immediately begins to carry out nonverbal defense. The situation of threat may not be reflected at all in his words, but he begins to behave differently. You only have to look closely at him, and then you will understand that he is afraid of you.

The person begins to use special gestures that mean the following: “Stop. Stop. I feel like there's a catch here." If a person crosses his arms over his chest, points his fingertips in different directions, and turns his outstretched arm and palm towards you, then this signals that you should stop. An outstretched arm has other meanings: first of all, this signal will not allow you to get closer, to invade his personal space, the person unconsciously puts a barrier between you, in addition, he is trying to close your mouth in this way, he feels a hidden threat in your words.

A wary person is characterized by a special look: he looks at you point-blank, watches your every gesture, movement with the sole purpose of not missing the moment when a “knife” appears in your hands. This "knife" may have symbolic meaning: You can strike verbally, inject with a cruel joke, or deliver unpleasant news. This is exactly the moment your interlocutor is waiting for from you. If several people are involved in a conversation, then the vigilant interlocutor very quickly looks from one to another.

A person who feels threatened by you can prepare an escape route in advance - he always notices where the door is, so that if his assumptions are confirmed and you create a threat to him, he can quickly find a way out.

How can such signals be neutralized? In order for a person to lose the feeling of threat, you need to calm him down and establish contact with him. First, try to get as close to him as possible, despite his desire to move away. Use tactile influence - touch him, stroke him, you can take his hand in the forearm area. These movements should not be sharp or rude, otherwise he will regard them as the beginning of an attack on your part. Try to speak slowly and loud enough for the person to hear you, otherwise they will think you are trying to hide something from them. If you are sitting at a table opposite each other, then you should move to him. If you manage to avoid a situation of confrontation and relieve the feeling of pressure, then your interlocutor will be able to relax, and your dialogue will be more constructive.

Rule #6

How to recognize gestures from the category “I am willing to compromise”

Finding a compromise is not an easy task in any situation, be it a family dispute, a business conversation or an academic discussion. In such situations, it is important to see that your opponent is willing to compromise. A person may say that he will not back down from his words, but non-verbal signals may indicate the opposite - the person is ready to make concessions.

If you notice a discrepancy between a person's words and his gestures, then this is a sign that you will be able to get the decision you need from him. It is very important to see this dissonance between word and body and interpret it correctly. If your opponent says that he completely disagrees with you, considers your words absurd, but at that moment nods his head up and down, this indicates that he is ready to accept your point of view and is only adding value to himself, trying to achieve more favorable conditions for yourself. If you notice such a gesture, you don’t have to stand on ceremony with it, insist on your terms, and be sure that sooner or later your interlocutor will accept them.

The absence of gestures is also a gesture. If we do not find any negative gestures in a person, for example, crossed arms and legs, he feels quite comfortable communicating with you at close range, easily lets you into his personal space, this indicates that the person accepts your point of view. Chances are you've already done enough to win him over to your side. In the near future he will agree with you.

A person who has already made a decision is characterized by a certain facial and gestural calmness. There are no distracting movements or gestures; the face expresses peace and harmony. Even if he insists on his own, resists your persuasion, most likely this is just a formality.

In a discussion, in an argument, a person who is inclined to compromise behaves somewhat imposingly, he understands: a dispute is a dispute, but he has already decided everything for himself. He can very convincingly defend his point of view and be internally calm, but he understands that he will still need to come to some kind of solution that suits both parties.

In order to determine what your interlocutor is leaning toward, pay attention to the enumeration gestures used, which, as a rule, do not carry much meaning, but can sometimes clarify something. If a person directs arguments in your direction, it means that he is inclined to your position. If the transfer is directed in the opposite direction (he seems to be collecting everything around, raking up everything that is bad), this indicates that the person is looking for benefits, he has a desire to get the maximum benefit from the negotiations.

Rule No. 7

How to recognize gestures from the “I tend to trust relationships” category

A person is not always inclined to trust relationships. As a rule, he does not seek to let into his inner circle those people who cause him doubt or hostility. By nonverbal signals you can easily understand whether a person has gained confidence in you.

It is believed that if a person actively comes into contact with you, this means that you have gained trust in him and he will cooperate with you. But the talkativeness of your interlocutor does not always mean that you have won his sympathy. Sociable people easily communicate with anyone, even if they don’t like him. Sometimes only by non-verbal signals can one determine the true attitude towards you.

The gestures of a person who is prone to trusting relationships are directed towards the interlocutor. He will direct any non-verbal signal, be it a listing gesture, his posture, the toes of his shoes turned towards you, in your direction. All these are signs that you have established contact with him, which can bear fruit in the future.

You need to pay attention to the distance between you. If your interlocutor maintains a distance of up to 70 cm, this means that he knows the rules of etiquette and is not trying to invade your personal space. On the other hand, if he doesn't let you into his space, he doesn't like you enough. If the distance is reduced to 50 cm or less, you can praise yourself for being so charming and attractive and finding an approach to the person.

If already at the first meeting a person can easily touch you, pat you on the shoulder, straighten your tie or scarf, you can safely give yourself 5 points for your charm and charm.

The facial expressions of a person who has gained confidence in you are very complacent. A person who is disposed to trust will often smile at you, moreover, laugh openly, without holding back his emotions, since he likes you and has nothing to be embarrassed in your company.

A person who has gained confidence in you can copy your gestures. Often this happens unconsciously and is done not to please you, but simply because they want to be a little like you. You can even do an experiment: use some kind of constant gesture when communicating with a new person, for example, snapping your finger. If by the end of the conversation your interlocutor has adopted your habit, it means that you have very successfully coped with the task of being liked and managed to make a good impression on the person.

Rule #8

How to recognize gestures from the category “I’m defending myself”

Gestures of defense quite eloquently indicate that a person subconsciously or consciously feels fear of you or feels guilty. He is in a situation where he needs to defend himself from your attacks, all non-verbal signals will indicate that he wants to block your attempts to influence him.

One of the most common and striking methods of protection is crossing your arms over your chest. This signal may indicate that the person does not want to make contact, that he is embarrassed, that he wants to protect himself from you. The cross leg gesture falls into this category - a person seems to lose the feeling of support under his feet. The characteristic posture of defense is a straight body, the body is slightly tilted forward, the head is lowered, the forehead is directed at the interlocutor, the eyes are lowered. The person is trying to take the blow with his forehead, to defend himself from your words. This pose helps to reflect negativity.

When faced with a potential attack, a person tries to cover the most painful area. Men use the “footballer in the wall” pose - they cover the groin area, thereby protecting themselves from possible attacks. Sensitive people who take everything to heart try to cover the chest in the area of ​​the heart, either by crossing their arms over their chest or covering the heart with the palm of their left hand.

In people with different types perceptions may have different methods of protection - visuals put on glasses, cover their eyes with their hands, pretend that the sun is blinding their eyes, auditory ones can pull a hat over their ears, straighten their long hair, if neither one nor the other is there, they perform some manipulations with their ears, closing their. Kinesthetic people, who perceive the world by sensations, try to maintain a distance so as not to touch the interlocutor, often hide their hands in their pockets, thereby showing that they do not want to perceive the information you give. People who perceive the world by smell can perform manipulations with their nose using a handkerchief; they may suddenly develop a runny nose - an involuntary defensive reaction.

The person defends himself from your attacks, creating visible and invisible barriers between you. This can be expressed in the form of building a wall, a barrier. If you are sitting at the table and see that your interlocutor is starting to build something like a pile of objects lying nearby (pens, notepads), this means something similar to the “Great Wall of China” piled up in your relationship. In other words, your interlocutor is building some kind of structure that will serve as protection from you. Another person can act as a wall. In self-defense, your interlocutor may intentionally introduce a third party into your conversation. The bystander is in a sense a wall, since the person defending himself hopes that you will not attack him in the presence of a third person.

Rule #9

How to recognize gestures from the “I feel awkward” category

When a person feels awkward, ashamed of himself and his actions, he wants only one thing - not to be noticed, not to be touched, and best of all - to fall into the ground. The feeling of awkwardness is very easy to calculate by a whole set of non-verbal means with which your interlocutor can try to disguise it.

As soon as a person feels that he is ashamed, he will immediately try to divert your attention from himself so that you do not notice obvious signs of shame, for example, redness of the face or increased heart rate. He wants to buy time to return to normal, to hide the involuntary, uncontrollable reactions of his body. Your interlocutor may suddenly grab an object, stand up abruptly, change position, for example, try to throw on a jacket that was previously hanging calmly on a chair. At the moment of feeling shame, a person breaks eye contact, lowers his eyes, and his gaze freezes on some object. His gestures and movements become fussy.

Let us recall an episode from Chekhov’s story “Chameleon”. As soon as the police supervisor Ochumelov made another mistake and he felt ashamed of his words, he immediately tried to distract the attention of those around him, confuse them, taking off and putting on his coat again.

If a person has an innate sense of shame or has committed a very serious crime and is sure that he will not be forgiven, he has a need to dress as inconspicuously as possible. In fact, this is a rather serious mistake in using nonverbal cues. If you look inconspicuous, this does not mean that you will not be noticed. On the contrary, they will notice you, but ignore you, consider it unnecessary to talk to you, and you will be left with your feelings of shame, which can develop into paranoia. Let us recall an episode from the novel “Gone with the Wind”: Scarlet, having seduced her friend’s husband, at first did not want to go to her name day at all, but Rhett Butler forced her to do it. And he asked me to wear the brightest dress – purple-red. He believed that this was how Scarlet would be able to feel all the bitterness of her guilt. But in fact, this dress saved her: it destroyed her fear of the company of Melanie and Ashley. Bright clothes help in self-realization; we understand that it is impossible not to notice us, we are so bright: how a person looks is how he feels. Getting out of awkward situations in bright outfits is much easier than in completely discreet clothes.

The feeling of awkwardness doubles as soon as a person realizes that others have noticed his awkwardness. Therefore, people whose awkwardness is revealed, for example, by a red face, look doubly embarrassed. They realize that they will not be able to hide their embarrassment, and they become even more confused. Yes, of course, it is very difficult to hide an involuntary reaction, but knowing about your natural ability to quickly fill with paint, you can always get out of it. Many at such moments desperately regret that they do not live in magical world, and that they do not have an invisibility cap. Most good way, according to psychologists, admit that you are embarrassed: “Oh, I’m so ashamed that I’m late,” “I’m, of course, wildly sorry, but today I don’t have cash with me, could you pay for me at cafeteria? As soon as you admit this, your awkwardness will disappear. As soon as you express your state verbally, internal tension and embarrassment immediately disappear.

Rule No. 10

How to recognize gestures from the “I don’t believe you” category

Gestures of skepticism, distrust, and disbelief in your sincerity can be very easily calculated: they are almost always gestures of negativity and defense. Even if a person agrees with you verbally, but his posture, facial expressions, and gestures indicate the opposite, trust non-verbal language - it will reveal the person’s true thoughts to you.

The most common gestures indicating mistrust are defensive gestures - crossed arms and legs. The person says that he does not want to perceive the information that comes from you. A person can manipulate their ears - in symbolic sense removes the noodles that you hang on him.

He can use prohibiting and warning gestures, as if making it clear: “I understand that you are lying to me, I don’t believe you.” Your interlocutor may hint to you that he is aware by putting his hands to his mouth, as if saying: “Keep your mouth shut.” This gesture has variations: a person can scratch his lips, mouth, ears. Another gesture of distrust is a negative shake of the head: even if he agrees with you, supports your point of view on a verbal level, he has something else on his mind.

Facial expressions also reveal your interlocutor’s skepticism. Distrust is written on the face, the man hides his eyes. He may smile skeptically or simply grin: one corner of his mouth is raised up, the other is down. Such a smile indicates that they do not believe you. What you say to him seems funny to him.

The fact that your deception is exposed, even if you are not going to be exposed, gives the person a feeling of superiority over you. Non-verbally, this can be expressed in a particularly condescending attitude and reluctance to invade your personal space - a person of a “lower caste” who is capable of lying.

Some people have a developed sense of perceiving the world by smell; such people are very sensitive to lies. They can make it clear that they have seen through the deception by flaring their nostrils: “I smell something unclean here.”

Once you have received such nonverbal signals and interpreted them correctly, you need to change your tactics: either start telling the truth, or change your argumentation, using stronger and more convincing arguments. Perhaps after this your position will be perceived as truth.

Rule No. 11

How to recognize gestures from the “I’m scared” category

A person in a situation of fear, be it an upcoming parachute jump or a public speech, tries in every possible way to veil his fear. He begins to be brave and talk about his fearlessness, so it can be difficult to calculate fear by verbal signs. You will be able to determine the true state only if you are able to correctly decipher the non-verbal signals that he sends you.

When we are scared, we are usually ashamed of our fear. If a person experiences fear, he tries to behave more carefully, but at the same time he tries to hide his feelings. That is why for people experiencing fear, there is a standard non-verbal scheme that works in almost all cases, without exception. People experiencing fear try not to give themselves away, to drown out their fear, to cheer up, for this they use non-verbal signals.

Nonverbal signs of fear are a special category. They are united by the fact that a person in a situation of fear is not able to control his body, has no power over it. He may flinch completely for no reason when he hears a loud voice, or jump if you quietly approach him and pull him from behind - this indicates that the person is tense and perhaps afraid of something.

A person tries in every possible way to suppress the feeling of fear. For example, you are in an exam, and one of the students suddenly starts talking loudly unnecessarily, this means what he is experiencing strong fear, trying to pull himself together and reduce his own fear.

A person in a frightened situation may suddenly start laughing. Let us recall an episode from the novel “Crime and Punishment” by F.M. Dostoevsky. Raskolnikov, meeting investigator Porfiry Petrovich for the first time, tries to provoke comic effect, bursting into the office, laughing cheerfully, hoping to convince the investigator that he was going to the meeting without any fear. But Porfiry Petrovich, being an experienced psychologist, understands perfectly well that his suspect is only masking his condition with the help of ostentatious indifference and fearlessness.

A person experiencing fear may begin to whistle, hum a melody, or sing out loud. This is also a kind of attempt to relieve tension. When man was just beginning to explore space, every pilot understood that his flight was a kind of game with death. Before the flight, when every step of the cosmonaut was filmed to later show people - “Look how fearless Soviet cosmonauts are,” those who were about to fly sang to relieve stress and reduce their fear. Only people close to me understood how difficult it was for them to complete this building. They seemed brave and fearless, but by non-verbal signals, by the way their lips trembled, how their eyes dimly shone, those close to them guessed their true state.

Rule No. 12

How to recognize gestures from the “I’m nervous” category

By a person's gestures, facial expressions, and posture, you can easily understand that he is nervous. Even if he manages to control his speech, he tries to pull himself together and speaks relatively calmly, but non-verbal signals may indicate that his condition is out of the ordinary.

Gestures characteristic of a person who is very nervous are usually the following: fingering foreign objects, all kinds of scratching, stroking. Moreover, very often a person changes one gesture to another, trying to hide his nervousness. But it is precisely this rapid change of non-verbal signals and variety of gestures that reveals a state of nervousness.

If you notice that your interlocutor is constantly scratching his hands or face, this may mean that he is very nervous. Itching of the whole body is a physiological involuntary reaction of the body. When we are nervous, we feel slight discomfort, which can be expressed in itching, chills, or, on the contrary, a feeling of stuffiness. A person who is in a stressful situation may have a desire to undress or dress, despite the fact that the weather does not change. You should not miss such non-verbal signals, in in this case you need to understand why a person is nervous in your presence.

A person in a state of nervousness cannot concentrate his gaze on one object for a long time, he constantly looks around, assessing the situation, looks around, looks at those around him, his gaze wanders around the space, cannot find shelter for himself. And even more so, you are unlikely to catch his eye. If he looks at you, it won't be for very long.

A person in a situation, for example, an exam or an upcoming important, but not very pleasant conversation, becomes a little inadequate and does not control himself. If he has bad habits, then in a state of stress a person begins to resort to them to relieve stress. For example, if he smokes, he may even start smoking one cigarette after another. He may bite his nails or twirl his hair on his finger - do anything to calm himself down. Bitten nails are a sign that a person is constantly nervous and cannot control himself.

Another clear signal of nervousness is a nervous tic - an involuntary reaction of the body. Due to strong internal tension, a person’s muscles first tense and then begin to contract. If you notice that your interlocutor's eyelid is twitching, this means that he is on the verge of a breakdown. It's better not to argue with him. Another involuntary reaction of our body is sweat. If a person has excessive sweating, then in a situation of stress, fear, and also lies, he will look like a runner who has run a cross-country race for two kilometers - all covered with droplets of sweat. There is also the “wet” palm syndrome: when meeting your interlocutor, you will understand that he is nervous if, after shaking his hand, you feel that his hand is wet.

Facial expressions reveal a nervous person: his face is almost always distorted by some kind of grimace, and in a state of stress, a change in facial expressions is typical. For example, if the examiner is in a positive mood and smiles in response to the words of his student, then the respondent himself breaks into a smile, but this is a nervous smile, which is associated with a desire to please. If the examiner does not look at the student at all, then the student’s face may change its color: from pale to red - this is fear and fear of failure at the same time.

If you find yourself in a stressful situation, you can avoid giving yourself away by restoring your normal state. How can you control yourself? First of all, begin to control your speech, try not to deviate from the average pace, in this case you will be able to regain your composure. If the situation is out of the ordinary and it’s difficult for you not to reveal your condition, then try to come to your senses as quickly as possible - for example, stroking your hand can help you, you can ask for a time-out in order to calm down.

Rule No. 13

How to recognize gestures from the “I’m happy” category

In this chapter we will talk not only about the highest state of pleasure - happiness, but also about positive mood in general, about those situations when a person experiences pleasure, when he is happy with the world around him, and has a positive attitude. How can you determine his positive attitude based on nonverbal signals?

A person can enter a state of euphoria after, for example, he has received what he has been seeking for so long. Thus, a person feels happiness if he learns about the reciprocity of the one he is in love with, if he enters the university he dreamed of, or receives praise from a respected person. Very often a person in this state becomes helpless and vulnerable because he is open. The state of happiness is the state of a person when he perceives the world around him as it is. Often in such situations a person has no control over his body at all.

It is very easy to determine from facial expressions that a person is in a positive mood. In a crowd of people, such a person is easy to spot by his wide smile “for no reason” - he seems to be remembering something: happiness is bursting, he cannot hide this joy.

Very often, a positive person violates the personal space of his interlocutor. He uses personal, intimate ways of greeting - hugs, kisses. He enjoys direct contact with other people, he enjoys touching others, he wants people to invade his personal space. A person who feels complete harmony with the world tries to be noticeable. He chooses clothes of bright colors. Sometimes happy person there is a desire to change - to try on something that was not there before and that normally he would not dare to wear: new fashion accessories, rings, earrings, bright shoes.

Rule No. 14

How to recognize gestures from the “I’m sure I’m right” category

Self-confidence is not only what a person says, but also how he says it. What intonations he uses, what gestures he uses, how he stands, how he walks, where he looks - all this can tell you that in front of you is a person who is confident in his rightness and strength. You can easily calculate confidence if you turn to non-verbal symbolism for help.

A confident person is characterized by bright, spontaneous gestures. You notice that your interlocutor often holds his hands in the chest area, but does not cross them - this is evidence of his confidence, a sense of superiority. A sign of such confidence can be the gesture of folded hands. In such a person you will never notice nervousness in gestures. If a self-confident person uses an enumerating gesture, then it is usually addressed to the public, the interlocutor. Although it gives the appearance of energy output, it actually takes away your energy if you are a weaker person. And if you are not too confident in yourself, you may suffer from communicating with such people; they may simply frighten you with their confidence. Therefore, it is important to identify such a person and be able to resist him.

A characteristic gesture of self-confidence is placing your hands behind your head. Some people find it indecent. It not only allows you to completely open the chest area due to the maximum extension of the arms, but also exposes the armpit area, which is considered quite intimate. It's better not to use such a gesture. This type of confidence is akin to arrogance.

A person who is confident speaks in a special way, making the most of the capabilities of his voice. His voice is his main weapon. A person is able to control his voice, raise it when necessary, lower it to achieve his goals. But, as a rule, his voice is even, clear, there are small pauses between words, and the tempo is constant. Words like drum roll: “I’m still stronger.” A person who is less confident in himself will definitely begin to doubt his victory, even if he was so sure of it.

A confident person always dresses neatly, but he very rarely indulges in excess. Pretentiousness - ruffles, bows and ribbons - are rather the exception in their wardrobe. They are strict in their dress. However, they are capable of shocking: for example, opening some intimate areas in order to influence the interlocutor.

Such people are characterized by a boring gaze; they can keep you in their field of vision without lowering their eyes for long enough. This kind of staring game is necessary to find out which of you is stronger. If they want to get something from you, it’s as if they are trying to hypnotize you: they will never lower their eyes until they get their way. As soon as you notice that your interlocutor is trying to influence you in a similar way (to penetrate your soul), you must counteract his influence, put up some kind of barrier. You can leave your interlocutor for a moment or put on dark glasses.

Rule No. 15

How to recognize gestures from the category “I am oppressed”

You can identify a person in a depressed state if you pay attention to what nonverbal means he uses. The state of depression and unhappiness can be determined by the use of negative and closed gestures, and reluctance to come into contact with others.

A depressed person uses a minimum of gestures, since he experiences a lack of energy, and gesticulation requires large energy expenditures. The head becomes very heavy from the abundance of negative emotions, so a person strives to support it in every possible way: it can rest on the palms, it can simply be tilted to one side or lowered down.

The look of a person with problems is usually absent. He is not interested in you or your affairs. He strives to take the most comfortable body position. The fact is that a person who suffers mentally understands that at the moment he cannot achieve spiritual harmony. But in order to increase his tone, to please himself, he strives for external comfort. For example, if you find him sleeping in the fetal position (curled up), this indicates a high degree of anxiety. This position, which is as comfortable as possible for a person, reminds of the most serene and happiest time of his life - when he was in the womb. If a person is sitting or standing, he strives to find support, lean on something, lean back in a chair to take a stable position. It seems that all his problems put real pressure on him, that he is bent under the weight of his own body, he is being pressed towards the ground, his shoulders are drooping.

The facial expressions of a depressed person very eloquently testify to his condition: the corners of his mouth are turned down, his eyelids are half-closed, it is difficult for him to move, he is even extremely reluctant to speak.

Rule No. 16

How to recognize gestures from the “I'm bored” category

It is important to recognize in time that you are boring your interlocutor in order to interrupt the conversation or turn it in a different direction. If you pay attention to how they listen to you, what kind of facial expression your companion has, what gestures he uses, how he sits, then you will accurately determine whether he enjoys communicating with you or not.

A bored, impassive look, an apathetic posture, an elongated face, a drooping jaw, slightly drooping eyelids are all signs of boredom. Have you noticed that your interlocutor is yawning? So you're not entertaining him very well. Such a gesture may be disguised or restrained. A person covers his mouth with his hand - this is evidence that he is running out of patience and can no longer bear listening to you.

A person who is bored may try to entertain himself in order to stay awake. Let’s say he grabs objects that lie nearby, but he doesn’t need them at all. Nevertheless, these objects are the only entertainment: he can touch them, twist them, throw them up, or perform other manipulations. Also, your companion may be leafing through a book or magazine without the desire to find something there. He can draw something on a piece of paper. If your listener writes down after you, and does it in great detail, including introductory words, without raising his head at all, this is also a signal: he is not even trying to think about what is being said, he is making a recording in order to at least somehow then keep yourself busy.

Your interlocutor may try to show verbal activity - ask questions, assent, but this is not always an absolute indicator of his interest. You will understand that he is indifferent to the topic of conversation by the slow pace of his speech and relaxed intonations in his voice.

The fact that a person does not enjoy your company can be indicated by his desire to leave, expressed non-verbally. This is evidenced by the following signals: your interlocutor constantly looks at the door, his body, the toes of his feet are facing towards the exit. A person may ostentatiously fidget with his briefcase, fidget with the lock on it, zip it up and down - all these are signs of boredom that indicate his readiness to leave at any moment.

To express your intention to leave at any time, your interlocutor can take off his glasses and put them in the case. This means that he has already heard enough of you, your arguments are clear, you should either summarize your conversation or move on to a more interesting question.

If a person is bored, he tries to take the most comfortable position for him, gradually find some kind of support, he is relaxed, inattentive to your words. If your interlocutor is sitting, then evidence that he is bored will be his “spreading” across the table. Posture is an indicator of the level of attention. A person in a relaxed position is not able to perceive information.

You shouldn't always believe what people say and do. Sometimes the psychology of the body can tell a lot more about a person and his true intentions than words. Knowing body language will help you see through people.

History of the research issue

Psychology has been interested in body gestures for a long time (back in the days Ancient Rome). This issue was even separated into a separate science called kinesics (later it was divided into narrower areas of knowledge). Greatest contribution to development this direction The following researchers did:

J. Balwer wrote a book on body language and gestures in psychology in 1644. The scientist paid special attention to the language of his hands. He concluded that it is a language, as opposed to the verbal mode of communication, which was invented artificially.

Pastor I. Caspar Lavater wrote “Essay on Physiognomy” in 1792, which is considered to be the first systematic study of body movements. The work similarly describes the correspondence of a person’s personal properties to the expression of his face and body configuration.

The German scientist G. K. Lichtenberg published a book in 1765 in which he criticized Lavater's work. He considered his understanding of physiognomy too simplified and far from reality practical activities person.

Artist, surgeon and neurophysiologist C. Bell was particularly interested in expressions human face, depending on different emotions. In 1844, as a result of many years of research nervous system, he concluded that any emotional fluctuations are accompanied by changes in respiratory and muscular activity.

C. Darwin and E. Kretschmer in 1920 studied the connections between a person’s character and physique, as well as between a person’s emotions and facial expressions.

D. Bonifacio, F. Bacon and D. Batista della Porta published treatises in 1616 in which they expressed the opinion that there is a universal body language that is understandable to absolutely all peoples of the world.

Among modern works On a given topic, Alexander Lowen's book "Psychology of the Body. Bioenergetic Analysis of the Body" is popular. This work focuses on the study of psychosomatics and solving psychosomatic problems.

Similarities and differences between verbal and nonverbal communication

In psychology, body language and gestures have a number of similar characteristics. Here are the main ones:

Any verbal and non-verbal element can take on contextual meaning depending on the culture of the area.

In some cases, the meaning of what is planned can be conveyed either only in words or only in gestures.

Both gestures and verbal units are symbolic signs that form the basis of the lexicon.

Like linguistic units of different countries, gestures can also be translated and interpreted to suit specific conditions.

Like natural language, gestures can vary across space and time, depending on economic and cultural conditions.

But there are also fundamental differences. Namely:

• Natural languages ​​consist of relatively stable units, but body language tends to undergo changes.
• Linguistic means of communication have a much greater number of possibilities for describing ideas, phenomena, situations, and objects.
• Gestures are demonstrative in nature and are perceived by the visual apparatus. Language tools are more meaningful.

Key body segments

One of the founders of the psychology of body movements conditionally divided the body into 7 segments, muscle contractions in which represent the corresponding problems:

• Eye segment - fears associated with human relationships (conflicts, grievances, evaluations, and so on).
• Oral segment - difficulties expressing feelings and emotions in verbal form.
• The cervical segment is the containment of anger and aggression.
• Thoracic segment - suppression of positive and negative emotions, experiences and desires, self-control, inability to express feelings.
• Diaphragmatic segment - suppression of anxiety or satisfaction, problems of willpower.
• Abdominal segment - suppression of fear of danger and anger.
• Pelvic segment - suppression of feelings caused by the instinct of self-preservation, blocking intimate arousal.

Gestures of sincerity and openness

Knowing the psychology of the body will help you understand how a person is disposed towards you, whether he is inclined to talk. Here are some gestures that symbolize sincerity, openness and benevolence:

• A person actively gestures, holding his hands in front of him, palms up.
• A person tries to reduce the distance during a conversation (sits closer or tries to establish tactile contact).
• An unbuttoned jacket is a symbol of openness and trust in business negotiations. A slightly loose tie knot has a similar meaning.
• Legs straightened and extended forward (if the interlocutors are communicating while sitting).
• Smile all over your face. If the eyes narrow and the nostrils widen, it means that the person is sincerely glad to see you and is committed to productive communication.
• A deep sigh of relief. Having noticed such a gesture, you can be sure that your conversation with the interlocutor will be easy and confidential.

Closed gestures

Knowing the psychology of the body will help you understand that a person is tense and not in the mood to communicate. When a person is scared, feels discomfort or hostility towards the interlocutor, he, without realizing it, begins to “defend”. This is manifested through such gestures:

• Arms crossed on chest. This is a demonstration of self-doubt or a hostile attitude towards the interlocutor.
• Crossed legs (or cross-legged pose). It can indicate mistrust, and when combined with crossed arms, the meaning doubles. It is worth noting that many people find this position comfortable. But in business conversation It is better to avoid this pose, as the interlocutor may interpret it incorrectly.
• Hands pressed to the body or lying on the knees are an incomplete barrier. The pose demonstrates distrust or a negative attitude towards the interlocutor.
• Manipulation with things. If a person is constantly twirling a pen in his hands, holding a notepad, or clutching his bag, it means that he is trying to protect himself from you.
• Cringing. Arms pressed tightly to the body, legs closed, hunched shoulders - all these are signs that a person is trying to protect himself from you.
• Hands in pockets. This is a sign of detachment from the interlocutor.

Exposing Lies

Body psychology is a powerful tool for exposing lies. You can tell that a person is being dishonest with you by the following signs:

• Touching any part of the face (mouth, nose, eyelids, cheeks, chin, etc.). When a person tells a lie, his hands subconsciously reach towards his face, as if trying to hide from shame.
• If a person scratches his eyelid, it means that he knows the truth, but is trying to hide it from you.
• Stroking or scratching the neck may mean that the person disagrees with your statement. But for certain reasons (for example, social status), he is afraid to admit it.
• If a person touches his earlobe, it means that he does not believe at all what you are telling him. But, again, he tries not to show it.
• If, before answering your question, a person looks away or begins to look into the distance, this means that he is trying to come up with some kind of lie.
• A smile with just your lips. If all other facial muscles remain motionless, it means the person is insincere with you.
• A sharp change in the pace of speech. If a person slows down or speeds up, it means that at that moment he is telling you a lie.
• Asymmetry of facial expressions and gestures. If only one side is working, or there is dissonance between the parties, then the person is insincere. Although, sometimes this may be due to anatomical features.

Gestures of aggression

All human emotions are certainly reflected in human gestures - such is psychology. Body language demonstrates an aggressive attitude as follows:

• Rivers clenched into a fist. This happens involuntarily when a person tries to restrain himself from openly displaying aggression.
• Hands rest with fists on sides. This is a more aggressive gesture, demonstrating readiness to attack the enemy.
• Sitting astride a chair. Reflects a hostile attitude towards the interlocutor, accompanied by a feeling of superiority.
• Hands clasped behind the back. This is an attempt to hide a negative attitude.
• Clenched teeth and lips. A sign of irritability and anger.
• “Chopping” the air or surface with the palm of your hand. This indicates a readiness for open confrontation.
• Stroking or scratching the back of the neck. Feeling threatened and ready to defend.

Gestures of boredom

Body gestures in psychology personify almost all emotions and moods. In particular, it is important for a person to know the signs by which one can determine that a person is bored, that he is not interested in you, that it is time to end the conversation:

• If a person rests his chin or cheek on his hand, it means that he is tired of your chatter and, most likely, he has already lost the thread of the story.
• Tapping your foot on the floor or your fingers on the table is a sign of boredom and impatience. Your interlocutor wants to end the conversation as soon as possible.
• Extraneous activities (for example, drawing curls on paper) are a sign that a person is immersed in his own thoughts and is completely out of touch with you.
• Glancing at the door or at the clock is a subconscious demonstration that the conversation has dragged on.
• Intense head nods are the interlocutor’s desire to speed up the conversation in order to come to a logical conclusion.

Types of handshakes

In the business world (and just in everyday communication) knowledge of psychology helps a lot. In body language, a handshake plays a significant role as the first contact, from which, in most cases, contact begins. Here's how you can decipher this gesture:

• An elbow-girth handshake is a sign of friendliness, a desire to communicate and establish close contact.
• Extending your hand with your palm down is a symbol that the person is trying to dominate you.
• Stretching out your hand with your palm up means that the person puts the initiative in your hands and is ready to obey your decision.
• The second hand on the shoulder during a handshake is a demonstration good attitude to the interlocutor and the desire for close contact.
• Placing the other hand on top of a handshake is a demonstration of dominance.
• The vertical placement of the palms is a demonstration of equality and mutual respect.
• A handshake with a wrist girth is a demonstration of the joy of meeting and the desire for close friendship.

Gait features

While studying the psychology of the body and physicality, researchers drew attention to the presence of a relationship between emotions and gait. Namely:

• Broad steps - enterprise and determination, zeal for active work, the presence of far-reaching plans.
• Frequent short steps - a tendency to caution, prudence, the ability to adapt, restraint in expressing feelings, speed of reaction.
• An emphatically slow gait is a desire to be in the center of attention, a desire to live for show, a demonstration of strength.
• A careless, relaxed gait means disinterest and irresponsibility, immaturity of personality, lack of self-discipline, snobbery.
• Irrhythmic steps - increased anxiety, timidity.
• A swaying gait with pronounced movements of the hips is inflated self-esteem, excessive self-confidence.
• Shuffling gait - lack of will and aspirations, slowness, tendency to laziness.
• Unnaturally firm and angular gait - tightness, fear of communication, shyness, psychological tension.
• Bouncing gait - idealism, daydreaming, the need for a feeling of superiority.

Features of posture

When studying the psychology of the human body, you should pay attention to posture:

• An even but relaxed posture is a sign of openness to the world around you and good receptivity to everything new, the ability to quickly accumulate internal energy, unconditional trust in others, self-confidence, a sense of comfort and security.
• Fixed, tense posture - self-defense and detachment, a feeling of awkwardness in a particular situation, shyness and closedness, avoidance of contact with others, focus on internal problems, sensitivity and impressionability, rejection of criticism.
• A tense and rigid posture is sensitivity hidden under the guise of self-confidence.
• Lethargic posture is a sign of mental and emotional decline.
• Stooped posture - humility, desire to please and obey, submissiveness.

Female erotic hints

Relationships between opposite sexes are also reflected through body language and gestures. The psychology of women is designed in such a way that their body movements reveal their attitude towards men. Ladies' erotic hints can be recognized by the following signs:

• Wrist demonstration. This could be stroking, a carelessly raised sleeve, or playing with your fingers on a bracelet.
• Hair manipulation. If a woman feels sympathy for a certain man, then when she sees him, she begins to straighten it, twirl it around her finger, or effectively throw back her curls.
• Open mouth or licking lips. This is perhaps the most seductive gesture, which, by the way, women often demonstrate deliberately.
• Demonstration of ankles. As a rule, women cross them, slightly moving them to the side. Another seductive gesture is shaking your ankle with your shoe half off.
• Touching your feet. This could be stroking the thighs, calves or ankles.

The meaning of kissing different parts of the body in psychology

Relationships between representatives of opposite sexes have always been the subject of close attention from specialists. In the psychology of body language of women and men, a special place is given to the kiss. Or rather, its localization:

• In the neck - a hint of intimacy.
• On the cheek - a demonstration of a good attitude, as well as joy from the meeting.
• In the eyes - demonstrates serious and reverent feelings, as well as fear of separation.
• In the forehead - a demonstration of care and support, the desire to look after and protect a partner.
• In the hand - interest, increased attention or gratitude.
• In the nose - a desire to cheer, console, lift your spirits.
• In the ear - passion, a hint of intimacy.
• In the hair - a demonstration of patronage, a desire to care and protect.
• In the shoulder - hidden desire, suppressed passion.
• On the lips - close relationships, passion, love, affection.
• On the knee - tenderness and care, bordering on the desire to dominate a partner.

Gestures around the world

The psychology of the human body can be viewed differently, depending on the national culture. Here are some interesting facts:

• In some countries (particularly Bulgaria, India and Greece), shaking your head from side to side means agreement, and nodding means refusal.
• In countries that practice Buddhism, patting a child on the head is perceived as aggression. In general, the reaction to any touch is negative, since it is a violation of personal space.
• A finger to the temple (demonstration of dementia) is perceived as praise in Holland mental abilities, and in the UK - as advice to live by your own mind.
• Among the Spaniards, touching the earlobe is considered an indication of the presence of a person of non-traditional sexual orientation in the company.
• Showing your palm with your fingers outstretched is an insult to a Greek.
• When in Japan, give gifts with both hands. If you do this with one hand, the person may be offended.
• Crossing your fingers for luck is an obscene gesture in Vietnam.
• In African countries, it is indecent to look your interlocutor in the eyes for a long time.

Body image in psychology

It is interesting that not only in body movements, but also in external parameters Some conclusions can be drawn about a person’s character and personality traits. The psychology of body types is described in the table.

Studying the psychology of mind and body allows you to read people like an open book even before they have had time to convey any verbal information to you. But the process of cognition is quite long and complex. If you are interested in this issue, follow these recommendations:

• Learn to feel and understand your own body, compare feelings and desires with specific body movements. This will help you “unravel” other people easier.
• Do not rush to conclusions and do not rely on personal guesses and interpretations. Test your assumptions based on indirect evidence. Sometimes it would be useful to ask your interlocutor a delicate clarifying question.
• Having expressed your assumptions to your interlocutor, do not insist that you are right. Ask him to talk about his experiences and compare what he hears with previously made observations of body movements.
• don't be afraid of mistakes and corrections. This only deepens and develops your knowledge and skills.
• When observing your interlocutor, be sensitive. Few people like to feel a close, examining gaze on themselves. This can make a person close down, after which you will definitely not receive any objective information.
• Develop your powers of observation. Train your abilities in any place and situation, try to study both acquaintances and strangers.

It is believed that words can convey any information. However, gestures say much more than simple ones. A person’s posture and his unconscious actions reveal emotions and attitude towards the interlocutor and what is happening. The problem of understanding gestures has always worried people. If you understand the meaning of non-verbal signs, you can easily distinguish truth from lies and understand what people are hiding. How to learn to “read” people in a few minutes? How ?

What is the psychology of body gestures?

The psychology of body language and gestures is related to the psychology of nonverbal communication, which studies human behavior and also interprets his facial expressions, gestures, and posture. There is also physiognomy, a pseudoscience that determines character traits and predicts a person’s future.

Human facial expressions are “universal” in all countries of the world, that is, you do not need to have special knowledge to understand a person’s emotions. Everyone equally shows joy, surprise, anger. A person understands these gestures from birth. But there are those signs that are very rarely paid attention to. This could be body position, gaze, specific movements. Especially if a person is nervous, he loses control of his body. It is important to interpret gestures correctly. For example: if a person is cold, he may cross his arms over his chest. This pose in this case does not indicate a person’s isolation or uncertainty.

Important: gestures are not always a set of instructions or patterns that can be used to tell exactly what a person is feeling or hiding.

Body language and gestures are difficult to fake. To learn it, you just need to be attentive. By remembering the basic meanings of body language, you can learn a lot about the interlocutor, even what he is trying to masterfully hide.

A lot of books have been written that talk about typical and atypical positions of the head, arms, legs, and facial expressions. Here are some examples.

The head and its position when speaking

A person who holds his head up is confident, communicative and open.

A theatrically raised head speaks of self-confidence, arrogance and narcissism.

If you throw your head back when talking, this indicates a readiness to act and make decisions.

The head lolls to the side. Such a person gives up, is ready to obey, refuses a leading role.

Bowing your head down means weakness, cowardice.

Facial expressions

An open look speaks of the sincerity of the interlocutor, of his lively character.

Closed eyes are a sign of indifference, passivity to what is happening. This look can also indicate that a person is very tired, so you should clarify this point so as not to accidentally accuse your interlocutor of indifference.

Squinted eyes are deceit, cunning, evil plans. You need to take a closer look at such a person; he may be planning something negative in relation to other participants in the conversation.

An eye-to-eye look shows that a person is committed to dialogue, interest and trust.

Distrust and skepticism are shown by the gaze when the pupils are directed towards the bridge of the nose.

Those who are aggressive and are trying to put their intentions into action look from under their brows.

If a person seems to bow and look down, this speaks of helpfulness and humility.

If the interlocutor does not look into the eyes of other participants in the conversation, it is obvious that he is hiding something and is not confident in himself. This sign may also indicate a feeling of guilt.

If a person smiles and the corners of his eyes are squinted, then this is real joy and happiness. You should not mistake such an emotion for a forced smile of politeness. When the corners of the lips turn down, it is sadness and pessimism.

Hands

The position of your hands when speaking can tell a lot about a person. Usually a person gestures, trying to reinforce his words.

When persuading, does the interlocutor hold his hands with his palms up? This means that he is attuned to the other participants in the conversation, trying to explain something without any malicious intent.

If the arms are at the seams, that is, they are closely adjacent to the body, they express lack of will and passivity.

Are the person's hands behind his back? This speaks of doubt, mistrust, unwillingness to make decisions, or cunning intent, a desire to strike.

If your hands are in your pockets, this also indicates that the person is trying to hide something and is unsure of himself.

Hands folded in a “house” speak of self-confidence and in one’s actions, readiness to act.

The fist is a sign of self-affirmation and concentration. It may also indicate aggression.

Rubbing hands is a symbol of satisfaction and accomplishment.

Important: Teaching body language and gestures is nothing more than being mindful.

Open and closed human postures

An open posture indicates a person’s interest and desire to cooperate. In this position of the body, the hands are not near the neck or stomach, the gaze is directed at the interlocutor and the body is turned towards him. However, it is instinctively difficult for a person to always remain open. Since ancient times, he has been preparing for a possible attack, so he defends himself. A closed pose is one of the defense options. What body positions can be called closed?

1. Crossed legs.
2. Folded arms on the chest.

A closed posture does not encourage communication, so you need to pick up some object in order to open up to the world around you. This is especially true for people preparing to present a speech or monologue. You don't want to listen to uptight people.

How to recognize body language?

Body language can show a person's basic needs and emotions:

• . A few years ago, a series that taught people how to recognize lies using gestures was especially popular. A liar can be recognized by the following signs:
  • unconscious touching of lips, nose, chin when talking;
  • scratching the eyelids;
  • direct look. When a person remembers some actions that happened in the past, he looks away unconsciously. The deceiver has thought through his answers in advance, so he does not need to remember anything or come up with anything chaotically.
• Flirting. Women are constantly trying to show their interest through gestures. This is why they say that you cannot hide your sympathy or love for a person of the opposite sex:
  • the girl shows her wrist - a sign of seduction;
  • straightening her hair, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, or effectively throwing her hair back - this is how a woman strives to impress the man she likes;
  • slightly open mouth or licking lips. You should not confuse overt lip licking for the purpose of flirting with the same gesture, which means nervousness and excitement;
  • the flirtatious “accidental” loss of a shoe and the swinging of a naked leg;
  • “shooting” with the eyes. The gaze moves away sharply from the adored object, and a romantic smile appears on the face;
  • stroking one's thighs.
    An aggressive masculine gesture that hints at intimacy is when the thumbs are in the pockets and the rest stick out. This pose is called cowboy. Shaking off specks of dust from oneself, a piercing wide gaze, and adjusting a tie and cuffs are also considered male sexual positions.
• Aggression. You can recognize a hostile attitude towards yourself not only by the look, but also by the position of the person’s body:
  • hands in fists is a dangerous gesture, it is better to stop the conversation, otherwise the conversation will go beyond ordinary words and move on to more active actions;
  • arms sideways is associated with an angry woman. It is difficult to call this ardent aggression; it is a readiness for action.
• Nervousness. When a person is nervous, he cannot sit still, children and teenagers begin to bite their nails, and adults begin to pick up pencils and pens rather than their nails. Excited people also breathe rapidly, they may lack air, and they lick their lips. A state of quiet anxiety is revealed by tapping your fingers on the table.

Examples

How to Apply Body Language Psychology to everyday life? Learning these patterns may seem difficult. Let's look at an example of a real situation.

Wedding scene. The bride looks at the registry office workers, and the groom directed his gaze at his beloved. The groom does not smile until his future wife sees him. As soon as the bride looked at him, the groom's face immediately broke into a smile. Did this happen after she started turning towards him? What does this situation mean? The corners of the man’s lips are directed downwards, his eyes often flutter. Knowledge of sign language tells us that the young man is tense, but is trying to play a cheerful and carefree groom. He fiddles with his hands, that is, he tries to build a barrier. It can be assumed that he is only pretending to love his future wife.

Correct, organic use allows a woman to achieve greater success with the opposite sex. Girls who openly look at their interlocutor and listen to him attentively, even without natural beauty, make an indelible impression.

In conclusion

Body language is needed not only for leaders, who, by the nature of their work, must convince and force others to act. Every person needs to learn how to correctly interpret the gestures of their interlocutors. You should also control yourself, do not put your hands in your pockets, and do not try to reveal what should be hidden. Conversation without words provides more than verbal information. Not knowing this international language can lead to problems, misunderstandings and quarrels.

Important: not all gestures are universal. Some signs accepted in one country can be a deadly insult in another.

To avoid trouble, you should study the sign language of your culture, as well as those of the countries where you plan to travel.