Stages of psychological counseling. Counseling Techniques

The technique of psychological counseling refers to special techniques that a psychologist-consultant, acting within the framework of certain counseling procedures, uses to perform these procedures at each stage of psychological counseling. Since these stages and procedures we have already

discussed in the previous chapter, you can proceed directly to detailed description associated psychological counseling techniques.

This technique can be universal, equally successfully applicable at each stage of psychological counseling, and specific, more suitable for a particular stage of psychological counseling.

We will consider the technique of psychological counseling step by step in connection with various counseling procedures, without particularly highlighting counseling techniques that are universal in nature.

Meeting a client in a psychological consultation

As part of the general procedure for meeting a client (the first stage of psychological counseling), the consulting psychologist is recommended to use the following technical technique: choose his location when meeting a client in such a way that at the time of the meeting he is face to face with the client and leads him to the place.

Here you may encounter a number of particular situations in which you need to behave differently. Let's consider these situations in more detail.

If, upon entering the room psychological consultation, the client will not meet anyone there, then he will probably be confused, and this will definitely affect his further behavior during the consultation. If a client enters a room and sees people who will not pay any attention to him, then the client may not only be confused, but also offended, especially if it later turns out that among them were a psychologist-consultant or his assistant.

The emergence of unexpected obstacles to the client’s progress towards his place can also change the better side his psychological state.

It is allowed, however, for the client to come to the place of consultation himself, but in this case there must be a full guarantee that the client will not have problems finding his place in the consultation.

If the client has already entered the room where the consultation will take place, and those people who are in the room at that time meet him while sitting, especially if this is done by a consulting psychologist or his assistant, then the client will almost certainly perceive this as a manifestation of inattention and personal disrespect for him. Establishing normal psychological contact with such a client will not be easy.

This recommendation applies not only to the consulting psychologist and his assistant, but also to other people who may find themselves in the psychological consultation room at this time. If, for example, the consultant and his assistant stand up when the client enters the room, and other people continue to sit, then the client may also experience not very pleasant emotions. The point is that with others standing people maybe, by existing rules etiquette, sit or older people, or those who occupy a higher official position. Both of these are not very good for conducting psychological consultation, since according to the current state of affairs, the most authoritative person in psychological consultation for the client should be a consultant psychologist, and not any other person.

It is advisable for the consulting psychologist or his assistant to indicate to the client the place where he will sit during the consultation, let him go forward and allow him to take his seat first. This is recommended because this action can prevent the client from feeling confused and psychologically define the situation for him without putting him in an awkward position, giving him the opportunity to behave relaxed and completely independently. In addition, already at this moment, observing how the client walks to his place, how he sits down and what position he takes, the consulting psychologist can draw many useful conclusions about him for further successful consultation.

If the consulting psychologist sits down first, the client may perceive this as a demonstration by the consultant of his superiority over him, which is completely undesirable for the normal conduct of psychological counseling. Such an action by a psychologist-consultant can have a particularly unfavorable impact on the conduct of psychological consultation if the client himself turns out to be an authoritative and rather proud person, with a heightened sense of self-esteem. In any case, the consulting psychologist must take his place in the psychological consultation either after the client or simultaneously with him.

It is not recommended to start any special conversations with the client until the client takes his place and is comfortable enough. Firstly, it is impolite to have a conversation with a person while walking, especially when he goes to his place and sits down. Secondly, a person walking, looking for his place and taking it, at the moment of performing such actions, focuses his attention mainly on what he is doing, and therefore will not listen very carefully to what the psychologist-consultant tells him. Thirdly, any person who has just come to a psychological consultation will initially not be quite ready for a serious and meaningful conversation with a consulting psychologist about his problem. The client will either worry or be at the mercy of experiences and thoughts related to his previous affairs for some time. In any case, the client needs time to calm down and psychologically prepare for a serious conversation with a consultant.

When the client appears in the psychological consultation room, it should be quiet, and it is advisable that no one except the consulting psychologist and, possibly, his assistant should be in the room.

If a client enters an uncleaned psychological counseling room, this will almost certainly immediately cause a negative emotional reaction in him. It is useless and pointless to conduct psychological counseling where chaos and disorder reign. No matter how experienced a psychologist-consultant may be, he is unlikely to achieve high results in psychological counseling conducted in such unfavorable conditions, since during the consultation his mood under the influence of an uncomfortable environment will always be bad.

If there are a lot of strangers in the room where a psychological consultation is being conducted, it is not clear why things are located here, this may cause confusion and a state of increased anxiety in the client, especially if he discovers that some of these things may pose a potential threat to him ( for example, tape recorder, video camera, microphone, etc.). In this case, it will hardly be possible to count on the manifestation of openness and frankness on the part of the client, especially at the stage of confession.

A few words about the appropriate clothing of a consulting psychologist. It is advisable that he be dressed discreetly, but tastefully, not festively, but not too casually. A consulting psychologist is not recommended to use special clothing, such as a doctor’s coat, as this may cause anxiety in the client and unnecessary associations with a medical institution for psychological consultation.

If the client is physically and psychologically a completely healthy person, then he may simply be offended by the fact that he is met and treated as if he were sick. If he is in fact a sick person, but mistakenly turned not to a doctor, but to a psychological consultation (for example, due to the fact that medical institutions could not provide him with the help he was counting on), then the meeting of a person in a dressing gown will again cause he has those unpleasant memories that are associated with his bad past experiences. As a result, he may develop distrust in the psychologist and disbelief that he can really help him, the client.

A psychologist-consultant's clothes that are too bright indicate his extravagance and often indicate that he himself has problems. psychological nature. This may also be perceived unfavorably by the client and give rise to distrust in the psychologist-consultant.

On the other hand, too festive clothes of a counseling psychologist may look contrasting compared to the client’s everyday clothes, and in this case he will also feel awkward. For example, the client may have the feeling that the psychologist-consultant is going through some kind of important event, it’s a holiday and he has no time for the problems that concern the client. This, naturally, will not set the client up for a trusting attitude towards the consultant and for a thorough discussion with him of what worries the client. Finally, too simple, casual, almost homely clothing of a consulting psychologist may lead the client to believe that the consultant simply does not respect him personally.

Starting a conversation with a client

Techniques related to starting a conversation with a client include techniques that a psychological consultant can use when personally getting to know the client and beginning to clarify his problem in detail.

Having met face to face with the client after he has taken his place and is comfortable, the consulting psychologist, with an attentive and friendly expression on his face (perhaps smiling at the client), can address him with the following words, for example:

“I'm glad to see you here. It's good that you contacted us. I hope that our conversation, our joint work, will be a pleasant and useful experience for both you and me. First of all, let's get to know each other better..."

After this, the consulting psychologist usually pauses in the conversation with the client, which is necessary to give the client the opportunity to collect his thoughts and thoroughly answer the questions posed to him.

If the pause drags on and the client finds it difficult to answer the questions asked of him, is worried, or, having started a conversation, suddenly interrupts it, then the consulting psychologist is not recommended to immediately intervene in the current situation. In this case, it is better for the consultant to wait patiently and kindly until the client continues the conversation.

If the pause drags on too long and it becomes clear that the client is in a difficult situation and does not know what to say next, then the consulting psychologist is recommended to contact the client himself, using, for example, the following type of remarks:

“I’m listening to you carefully, please continue.” “For our fruitful work with you, I am personally very interested in everything you talked about, please continue.”

If after this the client remains silent, the psychologist-consultant can ask him: “Please explain why you are silent? Maybe something is stopping you from speaking? Let's discuss this and I will try to help you."

If the client himself then continues the conversation, the psychologist-consultant, for his part, will have to again take on the role of a patient, attentive and friendly listener and listen to the client without interrupting him. If the client still remains silent, experiencing obvious difficulties in conversation, worries, makes too long, unjustified pauses, does not know what to say next, then the consulting psychologist is recommended to focus on the content of the questions that he has already posed to the client, or the content of the answers that he has already received from the client to previously posed questions, continue to ask the client leading questions - mainly those that the client could easily and freely answer. With sufficient skill and experience of a psychologist-consultant, through a system of leading, additional questions, he will be able to quickly “talk” to the client, removing his psychological barrier, and obtain the necessary information from him.

If the client has serious difficulties when answering the psychologist-consultant’s questions, it is recommended to use the following techniques that will help relieve the client of excessive psychological tension and make him more open:

1. Quietly remove everyone from the room where the psychological consultation is being conducted. unauthorized persons, for example, a secretary, laboratory assistant or assistant psychological consultant, left alone with the client. This can always be done under some plausible pretext.

2. You can do the opposite: bring into the consultation room someone close enough to the client who can calm him down and facilitate a conversation with the consulting psychologist. This person (or these people, if there are several of them) can be placed next to the client or between him and the consulting psychologist.

3. It is very important that, when starting a conversation with a client, the consulting psychologist himself can easily and freely communicate with him without experiencing difficulties. Otherwise, his own anxiety, tension and uncertainty will be transmitted to the client.

4. Since in real life Almost all people, including fairly experienced consultant psychologists, encounter difficulties in communicating with people; a novice psychologist-consultant is recommended to undergo communication training himself and, as far as possible, get rid of or minimize such problems in himself. Before starting a meeting with a client, it is useful to rehearse the upcoming conversation with him, especially its beginning.

5. To improve your own communication skills, it is recommended that the consulting psychologist master the following short forms speech etiquette, which may be useful to him when meeting with clients in psychological consultation.

Forms of greeting a person and forms of invitation to enter a room:

- Hello.

– Come in, please.

- Good afternoon.

- Come in, please.

- I'm glad to welcome you.

- Please...

– Welcome...

Forms of expressing joy at a meeting:

– What a pleasant meeting!

- Glad to see you!

– Finally you came, I’m very glad!

– I'm very glad to see you!

Forms of dating:

– I want (would like) to meet you.

- Let's get acquainted.

- Let's get acquainted.

- Let me introduce myself. My name is...

– What’s your name? Please introduce yourself. Forms of contacting a person with a question:

– Tell me please...

– It won’t be difficult for you to say...

- Excuse me, could you say...

- Can I ask you...

- Be kind (be kind) to tell me...

- Could you say...

The procedure for calming the client, neutralizing the effects of his existing complexes and removing psychological barriers to communication may include technique, creating an atmosphere of physical and psychological comfort for the client, ensuring his psychological safety. These could be, for example, the following methods:

– Give the client the opportunity to be alone for some time, for example, sit alone for two or three minutes, without communicating with anyone. At this time, a consulting psychologist; 1 and I can do something right here, in the psychological consultation, or leave the room for a few minutes.

– Turn on soft and pleasant music in the consultation room while the client is in it and tuning in for the upcoming conversation with the consultant.

– Give the client some pleasant, attractive small object, such as a toy, during a conversation.

– Invite the client to do something with his own hands during a conversation with a consulting psychologist under the pretext, for example, of providing the consulting psychologist with a small service or assistance.

The steps described above can be applied in practice in the most various combinations, both separately and in various combinations with each other.

Relieving the client’s psychological stress and intensifying his story at the confession stage

Confession in psychological counseling is a detailed, sincere, emotionally rich story from the client about himself and his problem addressed to the consulting psychologist.

In addition to the techniques described above, which are used mainly at the beginning of psychological counseling, it is also possible to create a favorable psychological atmosphere for the client’s confession with the help of the following practical actions of the consulting psychologist, taken already during the confession itself.

1. Verbal support for what the client says and does during confession - the technique requires some explanation. Sometimes during confession, the client may say something with which the consulting psychologist does not agree, for example, express his own, not entirely justified, complaints about the consulting psychologist, about the consultation, about the situation, etc.

In this case, the psychologist-consultant should not openly object to the client, much less start arguing with him. It is much more reasonable to do the following when such a situation arises: recognizing directly or indirectly, openly or silently, the client’s right to criticism, invite him to postpone controversial issues and discuss them at the end of the consultation.

In this case, you can contact the client with the following words, for example:

“It is quite possible that you are essentially right, and I am ready to discuss with you what concerns you. But let's think together about how best to do this. If we interrupt the consultation now and move on to discussing controversial issues, we will not be able to find a way to solve the main problem that worries you. In this case, I am unlikely to be able to really help you, since our time with you is limited and will be spent on a discussion that is not directly related to your problem. I propose to do it differently: to temporarily postpone the discussion of controversial issues related to the consultation and continue working according to a pre-planned plan. Then we will find additional time and agree when and where we will discuss and resolve all the issues that concern you.”

If the client still insists on an immediate discussion of these issues and, moreover, demands that the questions raised by him be resolved here and now, then the consultant psychologist can do one of the following:

1) interrupt counseling for a while and try to resolve controversial issues as quickly as possible;

2) postpone the psychological consultation and reschedule it for another, more suitable time, when all controversial issues have been resolved;

3) generally refuse further psychological consultation, politely apologizing to the client and explaining to him why the consultation had to be interrupted and why the questions he raised could not be resolved and the complaints satisfied.

In the event that a client tells a psychological consultant something that is not directly related to the conditions of the consultation, but is related to the essence of the problem being discussed, the consultant can switch to a conversation on the issue raised by the client, if, of course, he has something to say to the client about appropriate occasion.

Nevertheless, during the process of confession, it is still not advisable for the consulting psychologist to express his disagreement with the client on anything. It is better not to object to the client, but to do the following: noting to yourself and for yourself that point in the client’s actions and statements that requires discussion and objections, then continue to listen attentively and kindly to the end of the client’s confession. It is worth returning to the discussion of controversial issues only after the consultation has been completed and a decision has been made on the main problem that worries the client.

2. "Mirroring" – the technique consists of repeating his statements and movements unnoticed by the client; In particular, one can “mirror” gestures, facial expressions, pantomime, intonation, stress, pauses in the client’s speech, etc.

Mirroring is especially important during those moments of confession when the client casts fleeting glances at the consultant, talking about himself and his problem.

3. "Periphrase" - a brief, current remark of a consulting psychologist, spoken by him during a client’s confession and intended to clarify and clarify the meaning of what the client is saying.

In the case of using periphrasis, the consulting psychologist, listening to the client, during natural pauses that arise in the client’s speech, briefly, in his own words, in the form of statements or questions, repeats what the client said, and, in turn, expects confirmation or refutation from the client the correctness of his understanding.

A paraphrase can be started, for example, with the words: “So,...”, “You said...”, “Did I understand you correctly, you said...”.

You can just repeat last words uttered by the client, but in a questioning form, expecting, respectively, confirmation or refutation from him of the correctness of the words spoken.

4. "Generalization" - a technique that is somewhat reminiscent of a periphrase, but does not refer to the last thing the client said, but to a whole statement consisting of several judgments or sentences. Unlike a periphrase, which literally repeats the client’s last thought, a generalization is a free, but fairly accurate transmission of his thoughts in a generalized form.

The generalization can begin, for example, with the following words: “So, if we generalize and short form express what you said, is it possible to do it like this...?” “To summarize what has been said, can it be conveyed like this...?” “If I understand you correctly, then the meaning of what you said boils down to the following... Is this so?”

5. Receiving emotional support from the client, when the consulting psychologist listens carefully to the client, follows his thoughts, trying at the right moments of confession, at the time when the client pays attention to him, to outwardly express support for what the client is saying, including demonstrating positive emotions, reinforcing the client’s words and actions. This could be, for example, an expression of sympathy, empathy, or satisfaction with what he says to the client.

6. The technique of asking the client questions that stimulate his thinking such as “What?” "How?" "How?" "For what?" "Why?". It is usually used when a psychological consultant needs to clarify something for himself in the client’s thoughts, and also when the client himself experiences certain difficulties in what and how to say next.

7. Mastering and using the features of his language in a conversation with a client - psychological counseling, which is as follows. The consultant, listening carefully to the client, tries to grasp the peculiarities of his speech style, paying attention to the words, phrases, expressions and turns often used by the client. Having determined and mastered this, after some time the consulting psychologist himself begins to consciously use the same speech techniques in communication with the client, that is, unnoticed by the client, he begins to reproduce the features of his speech.

As a result, psychological community and greater mutual understanding arise between the client and the consulting psychologist than was the case at the beginning. The client, in turn, unconsciously begins to perceive the psychologist-consultant as a person psychologically close to him and turns out to be more disposed towards him.

It is important, however, not to overdo it in using this technique, so that the client does not get the impression that the psychologist-consultant is imitating him.

Techniques used when interpreting a client's confession

In order to draw the correct conclusions from the client’s confession and not make a mistake in assessing his problem, and also in order to

to convince the client himself of the correctness of the interpretation of his confession, the consulting psychologist in the process of interpreting the confession must adhere to the following rules:

1. Do not rush, do not rush to your conclusions. It is advisable, after finishing the client’s confession, to take a break in communication with him for 10 to 15 minutes, filling it with something that allows him to escape from listening, reflect, and draw conclusions. Such a break is needed not only by the psychologist-consultant, but also by the client. During the break, he will be able to move away from confession, calm down, and psychologically tune in to listening to the consultant and constructive dialogue with him.

It is recommended, for example, to organize a tea party during such a break, inviting the client to participate in it and telling him that during the tea party the conversation about his problem can be continued. The break, in addition, will give the consulting psychologist the opportunity to collect his thoughts and ask, if necessary, additional questions to the client.

2. It is important for the consultant to ensure that when interpreting the client’s confession no significant details were omitted, so that among those facts on the basis of which conclusions will be drawn about the client’s problem and ways to solve it, there are no facts that contradict or do not agree with each other. If, when interpreting confession, this important rule is not observed, then contradictions in the facts will inevitably manifest themselves in contradictions in the conclusions that follow from these facts. This is a well-known law of the logic of thinking.

3. Care must also be taken to ensure that the proposed interpretation of the facts did not turn out to be one-sided, those. so that it does not clearly favor any one theory or interpretation over others.

This requirement is due to the fact that any of the existing theories of personality or interpersonal relationships, which can be used as the basis for the interpretation of confession, inevitably (by the nature of modern psychological theories themselves) is incomplete and does not take into account all possible facts.

In order to avoid a one-sided interpretation of confession in practice, it is necessary, even at the stage of general scientific theoretical training of the consulting psychologist, and then at the stage of acquiring relevant professional experience in interpreting client confessions, to teach him how to skillfully use the provisions of a variety of theories.

4. From the above, the following important conclusion follows: any confession, no matter what its content, can't

have one, only possible interpretation. There must be several such interpretations and, as a rule, as many as there are different theories personality and interpersonal relationships in psychology. This does not mean, of course, literally all psychological theories without exception, but only those that complement each other in understanding personality and interpersonal relationships. At the same time, there should not be too many proposed interpretations, since otherwise it will be difficult to reconcile them with each other and one can simply get confused in them.

While offering the client his own interpretation of his problem, the consulting psychologist must ultimately give a unified, but not the only (in theoretical terms) interpretation of this problem.

This requirement does not contradict what was mentioned above. The fact is that the provisions formulated in the previous paragraphs relate mainly to the thinking of the psychologist-consultant himself, and not to the understanding of the essence of the problem by the client himself. It is necessary to communicate to him in an intelligible and accessible form the conclusions themselves, and not the theory on which they are based, i.e. only what the consulting psychologist came to as a result of his reflections, including theoretical ones. And, besides, this should be done in a simple, intelligible, and not in a scientific form.

From the above it follows that in order to learn to interpret the client’s confession theoretically correctly, comprehensively and integratedly, the consulting psychologist himself must become a versatile theoretically trained practical psychologist. Good general theoretical training of a consulting psychologist presupposes his deep familiarity with various psychological theories, covering the range of problems with which people can turn to psychological consultation.

But this is not enough; it turns out that the psychologist-consultant also needs versatile practical training in interpreting the client’s problems. In particular, it involves developing the ability not only to interpret the client’s confession, but also to correctly formulate one’s conclusions using various theories.

Such practical skills are best developed in the collective work of different psychologists-consultants - specialists who have a good professional knowledge of various psychological theories. It is also recommended to conduct so-called psychological consultations more often, which include working together over the same problems by specialists with different professional orientations. Such

consultations are especially useful at the beginning of independent practical activities psychologist-consultant.

In order for the client to fully understand the advice and recommendations offered by the consulting psychologist, and also so that the client can successfully use them and achieve the desired practical result, when formulating advice and recommendations, a consulting psychologist should adhere to the following rules:

Rule 1.When formulating advice and recommendations for a practical solution to a client’s problem, it is advisable, as when interpreting a confession, to offer him not just one, but several, if possible, different, advice and recommendations.

This is due to the fact that different ways of solving the same problem require compliance with different conditions and fulfillment different actions. Some of them, due to certain circumstances, may be inaccessible to the client, which will significantly reduce the effectiveness of the practical action of the relevant recommendations.

For example, a psychologist-consultant can recommend to a client a method of behavior that will require extraordinary willpower and a number of other personality traits that may be relatively poorly developed in this client. Then the recommendations offered to him are unlikely to turn out to be practically useful and quite effective. Or, for example, advice from a consulting psychologist to a client may assume that the latter has sufficient large quantity free time, which the client may not actually have.

In general, the number of products offered to the client in various ways there should be two or three solutions to his problem, and all these methods should take into account the client’s real living conditions, his capabilities, as well as his individual psychological characteristics. The number of proposed ways to solve the problem should also be such that the client is able to choose from them what suits him and is completely suitable for him.

In this regard, it is necessary for the consulting psychologist even before he begins to offer him practical recommendations, it is good to get to know the client as an individual.

Let us formulate a few additional tips on this matter that will help the consulting psychologist conduct a general psychodiagnosis of the client’s personality in the process practical work with him. These tips, in particular, follow from the materials presented in famous book A. Pisa “Body Language”.

About the client's personality and his psychological state can be judged by the following characteristics:

“Many of these comments and observations of clients’ behavior during consultations are so important that at the end of the textbook, for better assimilation, they will be repeated for novice counseling psychologists.

The “hands on the belt” pose is typical for a decisive, strong-willed person,

Leaning your torso forward while sitting on a chair indicates that the person, as soon as the conversation with him ends, will be ready to act,

A person who sits with his legs crossed and his arms wrapped around his legs often has a quick reaction and is difficult to convince in an argument.

Ankles pressed together while sitting indicate that the person has negative, unpleasant thoughts and feelings in at the moment time,

Collecting unimportant lint from clothes characterizes a person who does not fully agree with what he is being told at a given moment in time.

A straight head during a conversation indicates a person’s neutral attitude towards what he hears,

Tilt of the head to the side while listening indicates that the person has become interested,

If a person’s head is tilted forward, this is most often a sign that he has a negative attitude towards what he heard,

Crossing your arms over your chest is a sign of a critical attitude and a defensive reaction,

Sometimes crossing arms indicates that a person has a feeling of fear,

Crossing your legs is a sign of a negative or defensive attitude,

The "stroking the chin" gesture means that this person trying to make a decision related to what he was just told,

Leaning back on the back of a chair or armchair is a movement indicating a person’s negative mood,

If, after a person has been asked to report his decision, he picks up an object, this means that he is not sure of his decision, doubts its correctness, that he still needs to think,

When the head of a listening person begins to lean toward his hand to lean on it, this means that he is losing interest in what is being said to him.

If a person rubs the back of his head with his palm and averts his eyes, this means that he is telling a lie,

People who often rub the back of their necks tend to exhibit a negative, critical attitude towards others,

Those people who often rub their foreheads are usually open and flexible,

Putting your hands behind your back indicates that a person is upset,

Touching parts of the face and head while pronouncing words is a sign that the person is not entirely sincere and is telling a lie,

The position of the fingers in the mouth indicates that the person currently needs approval and support,

Tapping your fingers on the tabletop or anything else while listening indicates impatience.

Open palms are associated with sincerity, trust and honesty,

Hidden palms, on the contrary, speak of a person’s closeness, dishonesty, insincerity,

A powerful person tries to keep his hand on top when shaking hands.

A submissive person tends to keep his palm down during a handshake,

Anyone who expects an equal relationship tries, when shaking hands, to keep his palm at the same level as the person with whom he is shaking hands.

A person who is not entirely confident in himself pulls the other’s hand towards himself during a handshake,

Interlocking your fingers while talking can mean frustration.

In a person’s facial expressions there may also be a number of signs that high degree probabilities may indicate his neuroticism. Let's consider these signs:

In an ever-smiling person, optimism is most often feigned and, as a rule, does not correspond to his real internal state,

Anyone who outwardly demonstrates his supposedly impeccable self-control, in reality often covers up well-concealed anxiety and tension,

In a neurotic person, the corners of the mouth most often turn downwards, and on the face there is an expression of despondency and lack of interest in people. Such a person is usually indecisive,

A neurotic person's gaze is intense, and his eyes are opened wider than usual,

The facial expression of a neurotic is frightened, the color is pale and painful,

It is not easy for a neurotic to laugh heartily; his smile often resembles an ironic grin or smirk.

Here are a few more useful observations that a consulting psychologist can use when assessing a client as an individual.

The clause contains a hint about what the person is actually thinking about, but does not want to say openly or out loud.

A person’s memory retains mainly those experiences that are associated with people and events that are significant to him.

If a person is late for a meeting or completely forgets about it, then with a high degree of confidence we can assume that he is unconsciously avoiding this meeting.

If a person constantly forgets names, then with reasonable confidence we can say that he has no special interest in people, and primarily in those whose names he forgets.

If a person is excessively verbose on an already quite clear issue, if, in addition, there is a trembling in his voice and he, as they say, beats around the bush without expressing himself definitely, then he cannot be completely trusted.

If a person mutters something to himself and expresses himself unclearly, then he is probably not eager to get close to the person to whom he is saying this.

If a person speaks slowly, carefully choosing his words and carefully controlling his speech, then he experiences internal psychological tension.

Strong objections from the client to the psychological consultant can be perceived as evidence that the client is not entirely confident in himself and in the truth of the words that he himself utters.

Rule 2.The consulting psychologist should offer the client not only advice as such, but also his own assessment of this advice in terms of the ease or difficulty of following it in solving the problem that has arisen.

The point is that the client must have enough full information about each specific recommendation proposed

psychologist-consultant, i.e. know what it will cost him to follow this or that recommendation and with what degree of probability such adherence will lead to a solution to the problem that concerns him.

After the psychologist-consultant has offered the client alternative advice to solve his problem, in the client’s head (due to his psychological, professional unpreparedness and insufficiency life experience, and also due to the redundancy of information received from the consultant), a completely adequate image of the situation does not immediately emerge. The client is not immediately able to make the right choice from among the alternatives offered to him. Moreover, he, as a rule, does not have enough time for this. Due to these reasons, the client cannot immediately make the necessary and correct decision.

In order to make it easier for the client to find such a solution, the consulting psychologist, while the client is still reflecting on the information received, must offer him his own reasoned assessments of effectiveness different ways behavior, revealing to the client their positive and negative sides.

When making a final, independent decision, the client must be aware that if he chooses one of the methods of behavior over others, then as a result he will receive some benefit and will almost certainly miss something.

Rule 3.The client must be given the opportunity to independently choose the method of behavior that he considers most suitable for himself.

No one except the client himself is able to fully know his personal characteristics and living conditions, so no one except the client can make the optimal decision. True, the client himself may be wrong. Therefore, the consulting psychologist, while giving the client the opportunity to make an independent choice, is still obliged to express his point of view.

One of the most effective forms of providing practical assistance in in this case to the client on the part of the consulting psychologist is that the consultant and the client seem to change roles for a while: the consulting psychologist asks the client to explain to him the choice made and justify it, and he, listening carefully to the client, asks him questions.

Rule4. At the end of the psychological consultation, it is very important to provide the client with effective means of independently monitoring the success of the practical actions taken to solve the problem.

Since psychological counseling is mainly a method of independent psychocorrectional work, designed for the client’s own strengths and capabilities, and the fact that the client will have to correct shortcomings in his own psychology and behavior himself, it is very important to provide him with the means of self-monitoring of the effectiveness of the actions he takes.

Specifically in this case, we are talking about telling the client exactly how he can control himself in practice, and by what signs he will judge that his behavior is correct, and the actions taken actually give a positive result.

Rule 5.Providing the client with an additional opportunity to receive the necessary advice and recommendations from the consulting psychologist already in the process of practical solution to the problem.

This rule is due to the fact that not always and not immediately everything is clear to the client and everything, without exception, is completely successful. Often, even when the client seems to have understood everything well enough, accepted the recommendations of the consultant psychologist and has almost begun to implement them, in the process of implementing the recommendations received, many unforeseen circumstances and additional questions that require urgent answers are suddenly discovered.

In order for these issues to be resolved promptly, it is necessary that the client has the opportunity to constantly maintain contact with the consulting psychologist, including after completion of the consultation and receipt of the necessary recommendations. And for this, the consulting psychologist needs, when parting with the client at the end of the consultation, to tell him exactly where and when he – the client – ​​will be able, if necessary, to receive the necessary prompt help from him.

Rule 6.Before completing the work and giving the client the opportunity to act independently, the consulting psychologist must make sure that the client really understood everything correctly, accepted it and, without doubt or hesitation, is ready to act in the right direction.

In order to practically verify this, at the end of the consultation it is advisable to again give the floor to the client and ask him to answer the following questions, for example:

1. Is everything clear and convincing to you?

2. Talk about how you plan to proceed next. Sometimes it is useful to ask the client a series of specific questions, the answers to which reveal the degree of understanding and acceptance by the client of the recommendations received from the consulting psychologist.

Family therapy - 1950 – views of the family as a whole. Source - interdisciplinary interaction between psychology and psychiatry (Bowen, Minuchin, Jackson). Reorientation of psychoanalysis to work with families (both child-parent and marital subsystems), development of a systems approach (Ackerman), creation of attachment theory (Bowlby), extension of behavioral methods to work with families, creation of joint family therapy (Satir) → rapid development practices→prerequisites for creating family counseling. In the USSR, the development of family therapy dates back to the 1970s, but Malyarevsky is considered the founder (the doctrine of family treatment, 19th century). Stages of therapy development (with us):

psychiatric – the idea of ​​the family as a collection of incoming individuals

psychodynamic – inadequate behavior patterns formed in childhood

systemic psychotherapy - concepts of pathologizing family inheritance. Mutual acceptance between therapist and family.

The history of therapy and counseling is closely intertwined, so there is no exact division between them. BUT the fundamental difference is associated with the causal model of explaining the causes of difficulties and problems of personality development. Therapy is focused on a medical approach (the importance of hereditary and constitutional characteristics). The psychotherapist is a mediator between the client and the problem and plays a leading role in resolving it. Consultant – creates conditions for the client’s orientation in a problem situation, objectifies the problem and provides a “fan” of possible solutions. The client chooses and bears responsibility!!!

Currently, family counseling is a widely demanded type of psychological assistance among the Russian population. Family consultants work in psychological centers, consultations, registry offices operating within the system of the Ministry of Social Protection and Committees for the Protection of Family and Children, as well as in other institutions.

Professional nature of assistance. The assistance provided by a psychologist is based on professional training in the field of individual and family counseling, individual or group psychotherapy, as well as in the field of developmental psychology, personality psychology, social and medical psychology and other special disciplines.

In a situation of providing psychological assistance, a consultantrelies primarily on:

On the personal resources of your client and on your own personal resources;

On the patterns and psychotherapeutic potential of communication both in the consultant-client dyad and in the group, including in the family. The counseling psychologist appeals to the client's mind, emotions, feelings, needs and motives as well as his ability to communicate with people, using a variety of techniques to activate these client resources.

Diagnostics. Sometimes specific psychological testing methods are used in counseling. However, most family counselors assess family functioning without resorting to standard forms and testing, but only based on a clinical interview. In the first interview, the therapist identifies patterns of interactions within the family, alliances and coalitions. Since painful symptoms tend to serve certain family goals, the counselor first tries to understand these goals. Among the questions that interest a consulting psychologist are often asked: “At what stage of life development is the family?”, “What stresses are most likely to have affected the family?”, “What tasks for family development should be solved?”

Standard psychological diagnostics of the family as a system is too complex. First of all, this is due to the fact that the psychological tools usually used for diagnosis and assessment are focused more on individual characteristics person than on the family system. As follows from the provisions of systems theory, simple summation of sets of individual indicators does not give an idea of ​​the family as a single whole. In addition, all the tools have traditionally been focused on changing pathology, which requires certain efforts from the psychologist to avoid labeling pathological nature.

Some are useful for diagnosing relationships.psychological tests: Taylor-Johnson temperament analysis; Interpersonal Relationship Change Scale; Cattell's 16-factor questionnaire can also be used to identify compatibility in relationships.

There are also some additional diagnostics technical techniques:

"Structured familyinterview" Many psychologists use structured interviews to assess family relationships consistently and reliably. In particular, the Structured Family Interview is very productive because it allows you to collect important information within one hour. Using this technique, the counselor is able to observe and evaluate the individual, the dyad, and the relationships of the entire family. During the structured family interview, the family is asked to complete five tasks. The psychologist asks the family to plan something together. This could be, for example, traveling together. The consultant observes the family completing this task. Observation is carried out to determine the nature of interaction in the family, how to solve problems, behavior in conflict situations and much more. In addition, during such an interview, parents may be asked to come to a common point of view in the interpretation of a proverb or expression in order to explain its meaning to their children. Rather, valuable information is gained from observing the extent to which parents allow disagreement and the way in which they involve their children in the interpretation of the proverb, regardless of how the proverb is interpreted. The Structured Family Interview allows for comparisons between families and facilitates scientific research due to the fact that the methodology is standardized and the scoring system is relatively objective.

"Family Life Events Questionnaire." One of the methods that is used to study family characteristics is the Family Life Events Questionnaire. This questionnaire has a number of advantages, such as: rapid diagnosis, detailed analysis, comparative analysis of different members of the same family, identification of stressful (unexpected) events that forced the family to resort to therapy.

Genogram. The genogram (or “family tree”) is one of the most well-known methods of family examination. It was developed by Murray Bowen and is used by many of his students. A genogram is a structural diagram of a system of relationships in a family over several generations. The use of a genogram represents objectivity, thoroughness, and precision, which is consistent with Bowen's overall approach. In many cases, the genogram can be viewed by the therapist as a “path map” through the family's emotional processes. Basically, a genogram provides insight into why and how separated family members were involved in emotional problems and why and how others were less involved. And as the practice of family therapy shows, the most important questions are aimed at clarifying relationships within and between generations, as well as at defusing repressed emotions.

Psychotechnical tools. Special tera petic techniques

Video and audio recording. Using video recording in family counseling can provide a number of benefits. Watching a video during a session often helps family members gain new insight into family life. Video recording provides a unique opportunity to collect objective data on behavior during counseling and check its adequacy. In this way, it can help establish optimal psychological distance and improve understanding of oneself and the communication patterns that exist within the family. The corrective effect of video recording is also that clients have the opportunity to immediately see their behavior from the television screen. Some psychologists advise each family member to demand immediate access to the video recording during the session in order to see and analyze again what happened. The important thing is that it is difficult for participants to deny any of their own manifestations (words, actions) in the face of obvious facts recorded on videotape. Many counselors even show video clips of previous sessions to help guide the current session. With the help of video recording, the consultant can discover nuances of communication that he did not pay attention to before, or even see how he himself behaved during the session. Since family counseling sessions are emotionally charged, video recordings can provide important material for analysis. Of course, when using video and audio equipment, ethical issues must be respected, such as family privacy.

Family discussion - one of the most widely used methods in family psychocorrection. This is primarily a discussion in family groups. Discussion can pursue very numerous goals.

1. Correcting misconceptions: o various aspects family relationships; about ways to resolve family conflicts and other problems; about planning and organization family life; about the distribution of responsibilities in the family, etc.

Teaching family members methods of discussion, assuming the purpose of the discussion is not to prove one is right, but to jointly find the truth, not to come to an agreement, but to establish the truth.

Teaching family members objectivity (the desire to lead them to the same opinion or reduce the level of polarization on current family problems).

The techniques of a family psychologist before conducting a family discussion deserve attention: the effective use of silence; listening skills; learning through questions, posing problems; repetition; summarizing.

Conditional communication is achieved by introducing some new element into ordinary, familiar family relationships. Its purpose is to enable family members to correct violations in this regard. One of the techniques is the exchange of notes between family members. In this case, when discussing any issue, family members do not speak, but correspond. The goal is to slow down the communication process so that family members can observe and analyze it. This is also an additional opportunity for those who desperately needed it to come into an emotional background state in order to further reason on a rational level.

Often, certain rules for the technique of “fair struggle” or “constructive dispute” are introduced as a new element (condition). It includes a set of rules of behavior that come into force when spouses feel the need to express aggression towards each other:

a dispute can only be carried out after the prior consent of both parties, and relations should be sorted out as quickly as possible after a conflict situation arises;

the one who starts the argument must clearly understand the goal he wants to achieve;

all parties must take an active part in the dispute;

the dispute should concern only the subject of the dispute, generalizations such as “... and you always...”, “you in general...” are unacceptable;

“low blows” are not allowed, i.e. the use of arguments that are too painful for one of the participants in the dispute.

Training in such a technique, as a rule, ensures resistance against expressions of aggression and the ability to find the right line of behavior under these conditions.

Playing out family roles. These techniques include playing roles in various kinds of games that symbolize family relationships (for example, playing “animal family”). This also includes “role reversal” (for example, games in which parents and children switch roles); “living sculptures” (family members depict various aspects of their relationship). Role-playing is natural for a child, and this is one of the opportunities for correcting their behavior and their relationship with their parents. The use of this technique in adults is complicated by the fear of having to perform in some other role than the one to which they have become accustomed throughout their lives.

Techniques that develop skills and abilities. In the course of studying a family, it is often discovered that its members lack or are underdeveloped the skills and abilities necessary for a successful family life. This determines the peculiarities of the methods of this group. In particular, the client is given a specific task (or set of tasks). He is informed of the skill or skill that he must develop, and is given a criterion by which he can judge the extent to which he has succeeded.

A psychologist, giving instructions, setting an example for solving any problems, holding a discussion, introducing “conditional communication”, strives to ensure that the correct forms of communication turn into a skill.

The formation of version thinking is of particular importance. The classes are structured as follows: the student is informed about certain actions of some people. For example, a wife expresses dissatisfaction with her husband's sexual performance; the mother fulfills all the wishes of her son; one of the members of a prosperous family suddenly attempts suicide, etc. The client is required to put forward as many (at least 20) versions of the motives that led to such an act. A skill is considered developed if the practitioner, without much difficulty, “on the fly,” put forward a significant number of versions of various actions.

The ability to quickly put forward a variety of motives, formed in this way, turns out to be necessary in the correction of a number of family disorders.

Family assignments (homework). The family therapist can offer the family various tasks or exercises to complete during the session or at home. These tasks are mainly aimed at changing behavior. They are designed to: help families learn new ways of interacting; break up coalitions in the family; increase family vitality.

For example, Minushin might give a family constantly facing life problems the following assignment: choose one family member to be responsible for signing documents for the entire family at the housing agency. Satir uses “simulation” family games in his work to change communication patterns during a therapeutic session.

Psychodrama, role-playing games and other gaming methods. Dramatization techniques are used to create an empathic connection between family members. Psychodrama and role play also help families realize that there are different types of relationships with each other than the ones they are used to. The Family Sculpture technique is a non-verbal therapeutic technique. It consists of each family member creating a living picture from the other members that symbolizes how he or she perceives the family. The goal is to identify the characteristics of family relationships and experiences, as well as to become aware of defense mechanisms such as projection and rationalization. So, for example, depicting “in sculptural form” the situation in the family of a mother who is in a depressed state, she may be asked to lie on the floor, and the rest of the family members to sit on top.

Attribution of a sign, paradoxical intervention. Paradoxical intervention is a therapeutic technique using the "double grip". It consists of the therapist giving the client or family an instruction to which he expects resistance. Positive change occurs as a result of the family ignoring the therapist's instructions.

The Attribution of Symptoms technique forces the family to increase control over their symptoms. The signs thus lose their independence of manifestation because the family has begun to control them. A similar method is called “relapse relapse.” For example, a therapist tells a client, “You have much better control over your drinking habits now. So much better that chances are you'll be back to your old habits next week."

Paradoxical intervention should not be used in crisis situations. For example, this approach will not give the expected effect and will even be harmful in cases where the client has thoughts of murder or suicide. The use of paradox in psychotherapy raises many ethical issues that need to be discussed before therapy begins. Paradox should not be used as shock therapy. Although these methods may cause a shock reaction in clients, this is not the end of the paradox.

Paradoxical methods can be misused, and their use must be justified not only intuitively, but also analytically. There are three specific areas related to ethical issues.

Defining the problem and goals (the therapist and client must identify the problem that needs to be changed).

By choosing a method that is not under the client's control, the intervention should not be limited, but also controlled or imposed in some way.

Informed Consent: The use of paradox is inconsistent with the client's knowledge of what effect is expected. Due to the fact that the client's awareness or knowledge of what will actually happen will lead to resistance or devaluation.

Increasing the number of therapists. There are a number of advantages to using cotherapists or multiple therapists when treating family groups. These include:

an increase in the number of role interaction models;

demonstration of successful interactions between the sexes (often important in the treatment of sexual deviations and troubled marriages);

the presence of another therapist provides greater validity and increased objectivity in diagnosis and psychocorrection.

The disadvantages of this technique are associated with the need for additional expenditures of money and time, which cotherapists require to consult and sort out conflict situations.

Education and training of family members. Focused training in family therapy is very helpful. For example, you might consider the following questions: “What can a family expect after two years of marriage?”, “What is a normal sexual response pattern for a woman?”, “What are some other ways to discipline a child?” Marriage therapists can also specifically teach new skills, such as using the I-statement technique or how to get a spouse to make changes in the relationship. The therapist can also teach the "worthy fight" method.

"Mimisio." Mimisis is a method of structural family therapy. The therapist intentionally imitates and portrays the style of interactions in the family in order to “unite” the family and bring about change within the family system. This is a specific bonding technique that involves some activity on the part of the therapist to become part of family system and create a therapeutic unit. The therapist's adaptation to the family's style and rules leads to the formation of certain relationships, and the family becomes more receptive to the therapist's intervention.

Renaming or restructuring. Renaming is the “verbal revision” of an event in order to understand and recognize the causes of dysfunctional behavior. Thus, this causes a change in attitudes towards the behavior of other family members. Renaming or restructuring usually has a more positive side effect than directly naming the symptom.

Family gestalt therapy. Closely related to the "systems" approach, family gestalt therapy is an attempt to influence the problems of individuals by viewing them in the context of the family. In accordance with the principles of this therapy, the emphasis is on the present as opposed to the past (only real time is real). Particular importance is attached to the individual's acceptance of responsibility for his behavior. In this way, family resistance and the tendency to blame others are counteracted. Techniques may include role-playing and sculpting. In general, the techniques are active, the therapist plays a directive role. One Gestal family therapist, Walter Kampler, said, "Family therapy requires very active participation on the part of the therapist if he is to 'survive'."

In group marital therapy Usually 5-7 married couples participate. The principles and methods of conventional group psychotherapy are used. The principles of this approach are the same as when working with an individual married couple, but the important point here is the opportunity to learn from a living example, from the relationship models of others. The technique is significantly enriched, since in such conditions it is possible to act out situations, assigning certain roles to clients. In this case, you can not only talk about the situation, but also directly demonstrate alternative models of behavior; for example, another man will show his husband how he would behave in a particular situation. Having looked through several possible options, the wife can also choose an alternative that suits her, which the husband can then lose several times. You can also change roles and try to identify hidden motives for unsatisfactory behavior.

Group marital therapy allows you to better master various types of communication, for example, learning to tactfully express not-so-pleasant things to your partner. In addition, it makes it possible to correctly evaluate the results of a constructive quarrel: each couple can experience this for themselves and receive evaluation from others. You can learn cooperative agreements together, as well as hear from others (the same clients) their opinions on solving specific problems.

Forms of working with a married couple in a group. Before starting work with the entire group, several sessions of separate work are conducted with the men and women included in it (two subgroups). Finding contact and starting a free discussion is much easier, according to S. Kratochvil, in homogeneous subgroups, but then it is quite difficult to overcome some inhibition when merging them into one group. Some psychotherapists pay attention to the risk of increased defensive reactions in groups where both spouses are present. The dynamically oriented work of a group of married couples presupposes an atmosphere of communication security, overcoming habitual limitations, auto-stylization and established opinions. All this cannot be seen in groups of married couples, since the spouses continue to maintain their defensive position in the group. A typical “disclosure” of a client is encountered only when his partner begins to make excuses, although usually the client wants to get into groups only so that this information does not come out. Adverse consequences of group exercises when partners come home together are also often noted. Contaminated conclusions after a group therapy session can become a source of escalation of family conflict. Therefore, many researchers believe that it is most advisable when conducting sessions of group marital therapy to focus not so much on dynamic group psychotherapy, but on instructive analysis of issues relating to the lives of spouses (management household, spending free time, raising children, etc.).

Therefore, the use of dynamic psychotherapy methods, which are common when working with a group, is quite controversial in cases where the groups consist of married couples. Behavioral methods of marital therapy, focused on developing positive communication skills and problem solving skills, are becoming more popular.

Experienced psychotherapists recommend working with a group of 3-5 married couples, selecting couples of approximately the same age and with the same educational level. Preference is given to closed (rather than open) groups. The work is carried out by two specialists. The group helps come up with models and situations that spouses can use; individual couples compare their behavior. In the group, various forms of communication and ways of solving problems are played and commented on, marital agreements are developed and compared, and their implementation is monitored.

It is known that by using a strict organizational framework during sessions, married couples learn to clearly formulate their experiences, highlight the main wishes and specify their demands for changes in the partner’s behavior.

Experience has shown that group sessions can be a valuable source of information for working with a client in a group; This means not only information that allows one to find ways to understand a partner, but also information received from him, and, above all, in understanding the client’s interaction with him. A practical positive outcome of such sessions may be an improvement in actual forms of communication. A course of group therapy usually begins with inviting participants to talk about themselves; It is not necessary to start with marital problems. These group sessions should be conducted in a more directive manner than regular group sessions.

Well-known and well-tested methods include thematic discussions with married couples, recorded dialogue, psycho-gymnastics and the dating model. Some techniques for working with married couples in a group are described in more detail below.

Full name:_______________________________________________________________

Date: 21.12.2017________________________________________________________

Purpose of the conversation: psychological counseling of a parent on the current problem of parent-child relationships_________________________________

The time and place of the meeting were agreed upon with the client in advance via a telephone call.

The advisory conversation took place at the client’s workplace, during free time from work (lunch break). An act of greeting took place. Tatyana Gennadievna was in a tense state at that moment.

Mom was tense. I needed to create the most favorable meeting possible, which contributed to the client’s emancipation and calm.

There were no difficulties at this stage

2.Setting stage.

There was no motivation for the client to work together with the psychologist-consultant.

Psychologist-consultant removed the psychological barrier in communicating with the client by talking on abstract topics.

The same attention was paid to the girl. The question was: How are you feeling? What's new these days?

The mother said that the girl still categorically refuses to go to school.

Refuses to take injections prescribed by a neurologist. Shows no desire to communicate with peers. Does not take into account the opinions of parents. She ignores all her mother’s attempts to complete school assignments together. The girl's parents deprived her of her phone, internet and TV. In response, she now spends most of her time in bed. Mom takes the girl to the city psychologist. On his advice, the mother does not pester her daughter to go to school and allows the girl to do whatever she wants. The parents took an observant position.

At this stage, the psychological barrier in communication and behavior between the client and the psychologist was successfully removed, which contributed to

goodwill, psychological safety, emancipation on the part of the client.

The main difficulty was in creating the necessary psychological atmosphere, since my mother was preoccupied and alarmed by the situation itself and the expected results. The problem was resolved after a few minutes of communication between the client and me.

3. Diagnostic stage.

Psychologist-consultant suggested that the client smoothly proceed to performing a psychodiagnostic study called “family sociometry.”

Mom refused.

I brought psychological information to the parent about the concepts - anxiety, characteristics of anxiety, the harm it causes to the child, possible further prognosis.

It was necessary to explain the information received more carefully.

At this stage, practical recommendations and their clarification were announced. It took place in the form of a conversation. Each point of the recommendations was explained and adjusted taking into account the client’s questions.

I explained in detail all aspects of the recommendations. The difficulties were that my mother did not listen to the recommendations presented and remained unconvinced about the current situation.

5. Control stage.

The consulting psychologist strengthened the client’s confidence that his problem would definitely be resolved. Techniques of persuasion, suggestion, emotional-positive stimulation and a number of others were used. The client asked that she no longer be bothered by school officials. She said that the city psychologist would continue to monitor the child. Mom is ready to wait until her girl decides to go to school. At the moment, the mother agrees that her girl will not be certified and will probably remain for the second year of study.

The consulting psychologist said that she was always ready to answer any questions that might arise and offered to contact her by phone.

A psychologist's farewell to a parent.

In my opinion, the difficulty was that the client was afraid whether these recommendations would help, or maybe she expected an immediate positive action, i.e. solving the problem.

Perhaps at this stage it was necessary to give more strength to the recommendations, confidence in the words of the psychologist.

Conclusion:_ The goal of the consultation was achieved, recommendations were voiced, the girl was placed under control to monitor the further dynamics of development with a city psychologist.

Teacher - psychologist K.A. Salneva

Posted by Alex in the section

A client came to me for a consultation, with whom we had been working very fruitfully for some time. He is in good contact with himself, his emotions, and therefore his work goes quickly and easily. We began the consultation by discussing the changes that have occurred since our last meeting. Then our conversation smoothly moved into the sphere of his relationship with the girl.

He said he wasn't sure how he felt about her. On the one hand, he really likes a lot about her, on the other hand, he understands that they are not on the same path. Then I decided to ask how exactly he understands that he is not on the way? What exactly is the evaluation criterion? After thinking for a while, the client replied that the girl accepts him for who he is, which means that in the future he can relax, become lazy, get fat and not move anywhere, achieve nothing. I became interested. I continued to ask, and as a result it turned out that he expects the girl to set the direction for his development, to raise the bar. Then I said that it is usually the pattern of excellent students to expect others to know for them how to live. At first they do everything for their mother, then when they grow up, they need to find another “mother” so that she can tell them how to live and give them grades. He agreed with me and confirmed that I had hit the mark. We decided to work with this topic, to help him figure out what he himself wants, to find his own goals.

The client is a great visualizer. That is, if you ask him to imagine something, he easily imagines it. I'm a visual person myself, so it's easy for me to work with other visual people. I asked him:

– How many years do you plan to live?

He replied:

Up to about 60.
– Why not up to 80?
– I don’t know what I will do after 60.
– Watch Frank Pucelik’s seminar sometime, maybe some idea will appear.
- OK.
– Now, please imagine that you have come to the end of your life. What would it be like if you were satisfied with your life, with the way you lived it? What would you see if you looked back over the years? What events is it filled with? What do you remember most? What brings you the most joy? – here I already spoke in a slightly trance-like voice, plunging the client into a light trance so that he could imagine all these events as vividly as possible.
“But I’m not satisfied with my life and how it went.”
– How would it be if you were satisfied? Or ask yourself what you need to change or add in this life to feel fulfilled?

For some time he withdrew into himself. Then the client told me that he imagined a beautiful wife, children, friends, how they spend their time, where they relax, how he achieves goals and earns money, etc.

Convinced that this was what brought him satisfaction, I asked him to imagine his timeline and allow these events to be placed on it between now and 60 years. The client thought for a while, and then said that he couldn’t do it. It’s as if the line is separate, and these nice pictures are separate. And in general, after 30 years, his timeline is dark and empty. Up to 30 everything is bright and colorful, but at 30 there is some kind of jumper behind which there is nothing. I proposed to fill this void and send these events there. But no matter what he sent there, everything seemed to fall into a hole.

Client said:

“It feels like it’s already late.” It’s as if I had to get all this before I was 30, but now I’m already late and nothing can be done about it.
– And if you got all this before 30, what would happen then?
“Then I would just live.”
– What exactly would you do? What would life be filled with?

I continued to ask questions, but they clearly did not clarify the situation. He was convinced that there were things that needed to be done before 30, and if the time was lost, if the foundation was not laid, nothing could be done. I understood that this was only an attitude in his head, but neither my examples nor any justification led to a change. Then the thought came to me that I should dig deeper, that something was missing, something I hadn’t seen yet. I suggested that he unfold the time line and enter it, imagining it as a road. When he did this, he found that he was on a colorful, beautiful road. I suggested that he go ahead, but when he started walking, it became obvious that nothing was changing. He seemed to be walking in place. It was a kind of defense mechanism that protected him from moving forward, because if he really moved on, he would fall into this void. I asked him to look for a way out, and he somehow lifted this beautiful “screen” to go further. As soon as he plunged into this emptiness, he immediately felt very lonely and lost. I asked him to move on. And he walked, approaching old age. As he walked, his strength melted, but nothing changed for the better. Everything looked very pessimistic, but I knew there was a solution somewhere. Metaphors are always like a Rubik's cube, which, if you skillfully twist it, sooner or later you will be able to solve it.

I asked him to describe this darkness and emptiness, what it is like. He said:

“It’s like it’s coming from inside me.”
Then a wonderful question arose in my head, which helped make a shift in this work:
– What does this emptiness want? Ask her.

He asked and was told that the void wanted to protect him.

– What does she want to protect you from?
- From pain.
– Who or what causes pain?
- Other people.

Somewhere here he was able to look beyond this emptiness and saw there real world and some kind of cone that was sticking out of him began to stab him in the chest. It hurt, and this darkness protected him, covered him from pain. And there are plenty of things like this cone in the world. “They are not evil,” he told me, “they are just there and will meet me. But they are dangerous, they can tear you apart.” And it became clear that something needed to be done about it.

He found a solution. Seeing himself from the outside, the client said that this little man (meaning himself) needs to strengthen himself, become stronger, so that these cones cannot tear him apart, so that he can pass through them, like people walk through leaves in the forest. The leaves may cut your skin but will not cause serious harm.

To strengthen himself, he should have drunk a certain liquid that appeared there. But when he drank it, there seemed to be some kind of separation. Something inside was separated from the shell. The shell was made of soft-touch plastic. At some point, some kind of mucus began to come out of it. He began to walk forward, and the darkness opened before him. And as he walked, mucus came out of him, and he himself became stronger. And the world around became brighter. The moment came when there was no need to go further, when all the mucus came out. Then he said that it needed to be removed.

After cleaning, his timeline became clear and life was “manifested” on it. I again suggested that he do what we did at the very beginning of our work, namely, imagine all the wonderful moments that should fill his life and place them on a timeline. This time everything worked out great and we finished the job.

A few words about what it was. Judging by the work that we have done, as a result of some kind of trauma, the client developed a defense mechanism with which he hid from life. As a result, he didn’t see his future, or rather, he didn’t want to see it, he didn’t really plan anything. Life just happened to him. That is, he went with the flow and had a certain unconscious attitude that nothing good would happen further. In our work with him, we transformed the defense mechanism, helped him begin to look forward and fill his life with his goals.

I will write about the results of my work in a few months. Such profound changes take time.

As mentioned above, among the requests received on “ Hotline» in connection with emergencies, there are those that contain an explicit or hidden request for psychological assistance. The mode of operation of the “Hotline” does not always imply the possibility of in-depth processing of these requests due to objective circumstances (the “Hotline” employs specialists who do not have a psychological background; in the first hours of the “Hotline” operation, when the main request is informational, a very large number of requests are received number of requests). However, in any case, identifying and recognizing such requests is the responsibility of the Hotline employee, and working with them is the competence of a psychologist.

Persons experiencing acute grief and loss.

Persons experiencing fear and anxiety for the physical or emotional state of an injured relative/loved one.

Persons who have received information that their relatives/loved ones are on the list of missing persons or who have conflicting and insufficient information about the fate of their loved ones.

Persons who have received information that their relatives/relatives located in the emergency zone cannot be provided with immediate assistance.

Persons who have relatives who have lost their relative/loved one or do not yet know about the death of their relative/loved one.

Persons who have experienced psychological trauma as a result of their presence at the scene of an emergency at the time of its occurrence (among them may be those who received minor physical injuries, as well as witnesses and eyewitnesses of the incident).

Persons experiencing severe negative consequences Emergencies, expressed in the appearance of pronounced phobic and depressive reactions, panic attacks and other psycho-emotional problems.

Persons experiencing loss of property, forced relocation, relocation, significant deterioration in living conditions in the absence of information about resources and opportunities to overcome vital problems.

Consulting clients who have experienced extreme situations.

If a person who has recently experienced an extreme situation calls the emergency psychological help line, the consultant can recommend the following approaches to working with such a caller:

Encourage the client to talk about his feelings.

Don't expect a man to handle trauma any better than a woman.

Remind the client that their feelings are normal. Provide information about normal reactions to stressful situations.

Do not try to assure the client that everything will be fine - this is impossible.

Don't try to force your explanations on the client about why things happened.

Try to convince the client that it doesn’t matter why he ended up in this situation, what matters is that he got out of it (moving from the category of “victim” to the category of “hero”).

Don't tell the client that you know what they are going through.

Be prepared to not speak at all. Simply “being with the client” may be sufficient.

Don't be afraid to ask how a person is coping with trauma. But don't ask questions about the details of the injury. If a client talks about it, listen to him. The best thing you can do in this situation is to follow the client.

Subscribers experiencing negative consequences of an emergency, manifested in the emergence or exacerbation of psychological problems, should be advised to subsequently seek face-to-face consultation with a specialist.

Example

In connection with an explosion in a subway car that occurred as a result of a terrorist act, the GL received a call from a woman who was in the next car at the time of the explosion. She asked her to help her cope with the feeling of fear before her upcoming subway ride tomorrow. The woman said that almost every day she has to pass through the station where the explosion occurred and now she is considering possible options use of ground transport. But this will make it very difficult for her. The subscriber complained that the thought of having to take the subway filled her with fear that she could not control, although she did not reject reasonable arguments that there was no point in expecting a repeat explosion. The woman asked the Hotline specialist to recommend something she could do to reduce her fear. Since the subscriber was aware of the irrationality of her own fear reaction and well understood the reason for its occurrence, the Hotline specialist discussed with her the peculiarities of the manifestation of her fear reaction in connection with the general patterns of manifestation of such reactions, which have both positive and negative influence of the fact of having the ability to experience fear. He also gave practical recommendations aimed at creating several options for her action plan in the event that fear arises during a trip to the subway, so that the subscriber can realize that she has her own freedom to choose a pre-designed practical technique and thus feel that she can influence the situation of occurrence fear, control it. The Hotline specialist also recommended that the woman seek in-person consultation if her problem persists for a long time. If the subscriber had experienced fear at the time of the call, the Hotline specialist would have had to choose a different strategy, as well as in the case if the subscriber was already experiencing a psychological or psychiatric problem that was aggravated by the occurrence of an emergency.

Witnesses, third-party observers, people not directly related to the emergency, but who learned about it from the media, may also experience experiences similar to those of direct participants in the events and need psychological help. When working with them, it is advisable to use the same methods and approaches.

Subscribers who witnessed emergency events, or who received minor injuries and returned home after receiving outpatient care, as a rule, themselves indicate a direct request for psychological help if they feel the need for it. Sometimes their loved ones may call with such a request. If it is not possible to provide psychological assistance such subscribers in a face-to-face meeting need to be provided with assistance over the phone. If possible, the severity of the subscriber's negative emotional state should first be determined. Any expression is the best reaction from such subscribers. In some cases, simply listening to him is enough, but sometimes you need to discuss with him his current emotional experiences and what he can do now and in the future to alleviate his condition. In some cases, such a subscriber should be referred to receive a face-to-face consultation and such an opportunity should be organized for him.

Example

A young woman called the Hotline, which opened in connection with an explosion at the airport as a result of a terrorist attack. She asked to listen to her and said that she was in an overloaded emotional state. The woman said that at the time of the explosion, her 7-month-old son and elderly mother were separated from her and she, without seeing them, assumed that they died, based on the fact that she left them to wait in the exact place where the explosion occurred. By a happy coincidence, the elderly woman, tired of standing, moved aside with her child to sit down, and this happened immediately before the explosion. During the time the young woman, having heard the explosion, returned to the place where she had left her loved ones, she experienced severe emotional shock. She found mother and son alive and well, but the effects of the emotional shock became evident after she and her family returned home. The young woman needed to communicate with a Hotline specialist because she could not calm down on her own.

The Hotline specialist listened to the young woman’s story about her experiences and feelings in connection with what happened, asking questions as the caller described the circumstances of the situation. Since the subscriber behaved expressively and fully outlined everything she felt and experienced, at the end of the conversation with the Hotline specialist, she was able to come to thoughts and experiences leading to an understanding of the situation that had occurred. Her emotional state became more balanced.