How to raise your self-esteem. Frequent failures in childhood. There are people who are completely closed to criticism

A fluttering gait, a proudly raised head, a chiseled posture, eyes radiating confidence and charisma: these qualities are inherent in women who have been able to become self-confident and increase their self-esteem.

To become a successful person, to have many fans and friends, it is important to work on yourself and constantly strive for better. And for this it is necessary to cultivate in oneself the qualities of absolute confidence and firm convictions.

What influences self-esteem in a woman’s life?

According to psychologists, problems with self-esteem can affect all areas of a woman’s life:

• success in the professional field;
• communication with friends, colleagues and relatives;
• well-being of family life;
• physical and psychological health.

How to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem? Advice from a psychologist will help

Statistics show that women are more susceptible to low self-esteem than men. The interesting thing is that almost every woman knows whether she has problems in this matter or not.

Test to determine the level of attitude towards yourself

Psychological tests help to accurately determine whether a person has problems with self-esteem.

If it turns out that self-esteem is underestimated, then it is necessary to carry out work to improve the personality.

The test presented below will give an accurate determination of the level of attitude towards oneself. You must answer all questions honestly and immediately count your points. At the end of the test, all points are summed up. The resulting figure will show what level the survey participant belongs to.

Test: Determining the level of self-esteem

Do you often think that you shouldn’t have done or said something?

1. Yes, often – 1 point;
2. No, not often – 3 points.

When communicating with a witty and excellent interlocutor, you:

1. Do everything to surpass him in wit - 5 points;
2. You won’t want to take part in such a competition, thereby showing the superiority of your interlocutor -1 point.

Which opinion suits you best?

1. No luck, anything can be achieved only through hard work – 5 points;
2. Success comes only through a happy coincidence – 1 point;
3. In difficult situations, luck and perseverance will not help. Real help comes from a person who can console and encourage – 3 points.

How will you feel when you see your funny caricature?

1. You will laugh heartily, noticing the good similarity - 3 points;
2. You will be upset, but you won’t show it – 1 point;
3. Start making jokes at the expense of your interlocutor in response – 4 points.

Do you often do work alone that should be done by several people?

1. Yes – 1 point;
2. No – 5 points;
3. I don't know 3 points.

What perfume will you choose as a gift for your friend?

1. Those that you like - 5 points;
2. Those that you don’t like, but, in your opinion, your friend will like - 3 points;
3. Those that were recently seen in a commercial - 1 point.

Do you often imagine situations in which you behave in ways that you would never behave in real life?

1. Yes – 1 point;
2. No – 5 points;
3. I don't know 3 points.

Your young work colleague has achieved better results at work than you. Will this upset you?

1. Yes – 1 point;
2. No – 5 points;
3. Not very good – 3 points.

Do you enjoy disagreeing with someone?

1. Yes – 5 points;
2. No – 1 point;
3. I don’t know – points.

Close your eyes and try to imagine any of the colors. You submitted:

1. Light blue, dark blue, white – 1 point;
2. Green, yellow – 3 points;
3. Black, red – 5 points.

How to calculate test results

• If the score is from 38 to 50, then your self-esteem is inflated. You are a confident and satisfied person. Both in the social circle and in Everyday life you often emphasize your “I”, put your personal opinion above others and try to dominate your interlocutors. Criticizing others is common, but you don't care what they think about you. “I don’t love others, but I love myself.” The closer your number is to 50, the more this phrase suits you. High self-esteem prevents you from accepting criticism.
• If the sum of points is from 24 to 37, then your self-esteem is adequate. You completely trust yourself, and your life is filled with agreement with yourself. You can always find a way out of difficult situations. You are usually happy with yourself and the people around you. You can always be a support for your loved ones and colleagues.
• If the sum of points is from 10 to 23, then your self-esteem is low. You are not at all happy with yourself. Your intelligence, appearance, achievements, abilities, age and even gender provoke dissatisfaction and doubts in you. It is difficult for you to succeed at work and the opinions of others seriously affect your life.

Any woman, having realized that she belongs to the third group, must do everything to become self-confident. To increase self-esteem, you need to understand the reasons that led to this.

Causes of low self-esteem and ways to eliminate them

There are many reasons that will lead to a decrease in self-esteem. Among the most common are the following:

• improper upbringing in childhood;
• frequent failures in childhood;
• no specific goals in life;
• unhealthy surrounding society;
• various diseases and defects of appearance.

It is necessary to analyze each cause in more detail to find a way to eliminate it. Only by getting rid of them can you achieve results.

Improper upbringing in the family

The bulk of psychological shortcomings originate in early childhood. Poor self-esteem is no exception. It is caused by excessively high demands from parents, reproaches, criticism, lack of affection and praise. If a child gets used to such an attitude, then in the future he will behave as if he deserved it.

Frequent failures in childhood

If parents do not support their child in case of failure, then their child’s attitude towards themselves will only worsen. Excessive demands from the father and mother usually lead to the child beginning to evaluate himself according to adult criteria. This leads to loss of self-satisfaction and disappointment in oneself.

The attitude of peers, who tend to make outcasts out of losers, also plays a significant role in this issue. This contributes to a loss of self-confidence and negatively affects self-esteem.

Lack of goals in life

In the absence of clear and realistic goals, both a child and an adult can become a person with a negative attitude towards themselves. If a person stops setting goals for himself, his life loses color. These people usually do not want to pay attention to their appearance, do not want to change anything, stop dreaming and, as a result, the level of self-esteem decreases.

Unhealthy social environment

Social circle plays a significant role in the formation of self-esteem in both adults and children. A healthy attitude towards oneself is formed where there is good example for imitation. But if you have uninitiated friends who constantly complain about life, criticize others and do not want to change anything in their lives, self-esteem will only worsen.

IN similar cases It is necessary to radically change your social circle and get closer to people who strive for success, try to make their dreams come true, know how to overcome difficulties and constantly improve themselves.

Defects in appearance and health

In the case of defects in appearance and certain health problems, many children develop poor self-esteem. Such a child usually feels different from those around him. Often the situation is aggravated by the merciless ridicule and bullying of peers.

In such cases, eliminating these shortcomings will help improve self-esteem. If this is not possible, it is necessary to develop qualities in yourself that will help you become a self-confident, more developed and attractive person to others.

Methods for increasing self-esteem and self-confidence

The following are methods that will help every woman become more confident and increase her level of self-esteem. This work may take only a few months - this is the statement of psychologists. The main thing is to have the desire and desire for results.

Yes, a woman needs confidence that she deserves the best - self-esteem, love and respect from others, personal growth, life success. It is important to develop this confidence in yourself, and there are proven methods for this. Take action!

Stop criticizing yourself

There are no perfect people, and you are no exception. But you can’t constantly criticize yourself for your shortcomings. Self-criticism – useful quality, but within reasonable limits.

To overcome a negative attitude towards yourself, psychologists advise making a detailed list of your strengths and periodically re-reading it. Stop criticizing yourself, learn to praise yourself. A self-confident person is distinguished not by the absence of shortcomings, but by the ability not to pay attention to them.

Learn to accept praise

The ability to accept praise is a mandatory quality of a confident woman. Excessive modesty is just as harmful as its lack. A compliment received with dignity and gratitude is pleasant for both parties.

Stop making excuses

There will definitely be someone who doesn't like something in your life. There are two possible scenarios here. If you are wrong—for example, your boss is dissatisfied with a poor-quality project—don’t look for excuses. Admit and correct the mistake. The ability to admit that you are wrong is a sign strong man capable of taking responsibility for his actions.

But you don't have to try to please everyone around you. For example, if someone doesn't like the way you dress, you don't have to make excuses. It's your life, and only you can decide whose opinion matters to you.

Learn to ask for help

The ability to ask for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. Weak person does not ask for help due to fear of refusal, fear of being in debt, false shame and other fears. A confident woman is not afraid to ask, calmly endures refusal and thanks for help with a sincere smile.

Start small - ask to hold the door, bring a heavy bag, explain some nuance. Even if you hear “no,” it’s not a disaster, but a new experience that will make you stronger. Don't be shy to ask for help. And help yourself.

Bring your work to completion

You cannot succeed if you give up after the first difficulties. Unfinished business and unrealized plans significantly reduce self-esteem. Successfully overcoming difficulties is a great way to improve it.

A few rules that will help with this:

• think about your motivation. Morning work-out– slim figure, completed project – received bonus, etc.;
• don't try to do everything at once. For example, teach new language 20 minutes, but every day. The main thing is to start taking action;
• find like-minded people. Or an example to follow;
• Don’t forget to praise yourself – even for small successes.

Learn to love your body

IN modern society appearance plays a significant role. But you don't have to have a flawless body to be successful in life. There are plenty of examples on the Internet of successful, charismatic people whose appearance is far from perfect.

Accept and love yourself - you are unique. A state of harmony will give you confidence - and this will definitely affect the attitude of others.

Lead a healthy lifestyle, play sports

A healthy lifestyle and regular exercise are essential for women deciding how to become confident and increase self-esteem. It has been scientifically proven that physical activity stimulates the production of dopamine, the “happy hormone.” A healthy lifestyle and sports improve the quality of life, improve health, improve appearance, and have a positive effect on the state of the nervous system.

Take care of your appearance

A self-confident woman is distinguished by her well-groomed appearance. She loves herself and takes care of herself. Going to a beauty salon is an excellent remedy for depression. Get an elegant haircut and update your wardrobe. Consider it an investment in your successful future.

Communicate with optimists and successful people

If there are people around you who live by inertia, then they will ridicule all your ambitions. Limit such contacts to a minimum.

Look for successful, active and inspired people, like-minded people. Where? In the gym, at exhibitions, seminars, trainings, online. Purposeful, confident, strong people will serve as excellent motivation for personal growth.

Learn to leave your “comfort zone”

The “comfort zone” is a place that is not so much convenient as it is familiar. For example, the usual nightly watching of TV series on the sofa at home. The “comfort zone” is stuffy and cramped, but familiar and safe.

Break the comfortable stereotype. Start small - return home by an unusual route. Instead of lying on the couch, go to the pool, go to the theater, sign up for courses. New sensations, knowledge, acquaintances are a powerful incentive for building self-confidence.

Read positive literature

When you decide to make your life more positive, protect it from negative experiences as much as possible. Don't read news full of negativity. Yes, and serious, but too realistic literature should be avoided.

Nowadays it’s quite possible to pamper yourself with “fairy tales for adults” - novels with good ending, humorous detective stories, etc. It will be very useful to read specialized literature on developing self-esteem.

Find your dream job

Changing jobs is a very serious step, which can only be taken after preparation. First, give yourself a break—say, a week of vacation. And only by shedding the accumulated negativity can you make a decision. Maybe you like the work, but the team is not very close-knit? Or did your relationship with your superiors not work out? Then submit your resume and look for the same vacancy, but in different conditions.

What if you realized that you are doing the wrong thing? Again, take your time. Decide what you like and start taking action. Attend courses, study literature, meet experts. And life will definitely give you a chance.

Live by desires

Do you want to hang glider? Look for information, specialists - and it’s quite possible to spend your next vacation in the sky.

Don't be jealous of other people's successes

You shouldn't compare your life to someone else's. Glossy life that is so easy to observe in in social networks, may turn out to be a beautiful package hiding a bunch of problems. Other people's success should not frighten or cause envy, but inspire and teach. Don’t compare yourself with someone, compare yourself – yesterday and today.

Give up laziness

Water does not flow under a lying stone - this saying is still relevant today. A confident woman will not allow laziness to ruin her life. If you want to achieve something, take action. There are many ways to deal with laziness: break things down into component parts, accompany work with music, come up with rewards, etc. Choose your method and implement it.

To understand how to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem, you should take the help of professional psychologists. Special methods, trainings, and exercises have been developed to solve these problems.

Use your positive qualities

Make a list of your positive qualities and analyze them. Realize the enormous potential you have. Think about how you can use these qualities in your daily life. Work on their development.

Listen to affirmations

Affirmations are a brief formulation of your desires as a fact that has come true. This is an effective form of self-hypnosis, programming the subconscious, carried out through concentrated repeated repetition of verbal phrases.

Affirmations should be formulated very carefully, putting in them the quintessence of your desires, so that their repetition forms the desired attitude.

They can be repeated or listened to in a recording. Examples of wording: “I am confident,” “I love and am loved,” “I am talented and successful.”

Diary of successes and achievements

An effective tool is a diary. Every day you need to record all your achievements, regardless of their scale. Keeping such records and their subsequent analysis is a good incentive for a woman, helping to become self-confident and increase self-esteem.

Practical exercises

Meditation

You should meditate in a calm environment, without external stimuli. Find a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Now, with each exhalation, get rid of negative impressions.

Visualize negativity and imagine how it dissolves, giving way to calmness and optimism. Having a positive attitude, imagine yourself as you would like to see. Take your time and carefully draw the image.

Movements, intonation, facial expressions, posture - work out every detail. Try to convey love and support to the created image.

This exercise takes 10-15 minutes. You can do it in the morning or evening, without haste. Regular meditation will gradually consolidate this ideal in the mind, transferring its features to a real image.

Autotraining

Auto-training can be effectively used to calm down in a stressful situation, tune in to solving a difficult task, and gain self-confidence. To do this, the appropriate affirmations are spoken out loud or silently.

For maximum effectiveness, auto-training is best done in a calm environment, completely relaxed, saying affirmations out loud for 10-15 minutes. But this technique can also help in work environments: even in crowded places, you can calm down by simply closing your eyes and repeating affirmations to yourself several times.

Psychological trainings

They are aimed at adapting to society, or rather, at developing immunity to public opinion. Of course, the opinions of others must be taken into account, but it should not completely subordinate your personality.

For this you need inner strength, self-confidence, in your worth. Here are three simple trainings:

1. Learn not to be afraid of the public and even manage it. And to do this, do not hesitate to speak in front of a large audience. Use every opportunity: a song with a guitar by the fire, an anecdote in a company, a report at work, a presentation of a product to customers. Gradually, you will get rid of your complexes, feel confident, and learn to command an audience - an excellent quality for career growth.
2. "Double". This requires imagination. If you don’t feel comfortable in public, and you can’t overcome this complex, imagine yourself in the role of your favorite “star”, for whom communication is an everyday reality. Conduct yourself with the same relaxed freedom. Maybe not right away, but it will happen. And over time, you won’t even need a double.
3. Confidence no matter what. Props are required for this training. Add an absurd detail to your look (old-fashioned glasses, curlers, a provocative jacket) and go outside. Go shopping, communicate, walk with an absolutely calm look. This is a powerful tool, so start with small details.

10 books that will tell you how to increase your self-esteem

Books can tell you how to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem.

1. Louise Hay "Heal Your Life";
2. Larisa Parfentyeva “100 ways to change your life”;
3. Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
4. Dale Carnegie "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living";
5. Dale Carnegie, How to Build Confidence and Influence People in Public Speaking;
6. Vladimir Levi “The Art of Being Yourself”;
7. Sergey Mamontov “Believe in yourself. Self-confidence training";
8. Helen Andelin "The Charm of Femininity";
9. Rafael Santandreu “How not to turn your life into a nightmare”;
10. Sharon Wegshida-Cruz "How Much Are You Worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself."

Movies for motivation and self-confidence

Cinema has repeatedly addressed the theme of a strong woman.

1. “The Devil Wears Prada”, USA 2006;
2. “Eat, Pray, Love”, USA 2010;
3. “Another Boleyn Girl”, UK 2008;
4. “The Barber of Siberia”, Russia, Italy 1998;
5. “Moscow does not believe in tears,” USSR 1979.

How to become confident in communicating with a man?

A confident woman attracts men. She knows how to communicate, not being afraid to express her point of view, which makes her an interesting interlocutor. Like all strong people, she knows how to give in, without considering it a sign of weakness. She knows how to emphasize her strengths, and leaves her shortcomings in the shadows. She knows how, if necessary, to insist on her own, but at the same time she will be able not to offend her partner.

A confident woman always knows her worth. She will not tolerate unacceptable behavior from a man, and will be able to say this delicately but firmly. She will not grumble about anything, but will clearly formulate her dissatisfaction while remaining polite. Even in a difficult situation, she will be able to remain calm.

Perhaps not everything is working out as planned yet. Don't despair, develop confidence in your abilities, and everything will definitely work out!

How to gain confidence after a separation or divorce?

This is a difficult period even for strong women. The following will help you survive it with minimal losses:

• close people. It is advisable that during this period they are nearby, able to listen and support;
• hobby. It will help you get distracted;
• new impressions. Take a walk, go to exhibitions, to the cinema - new impressions will gradually displace the bitterness of the past;
• trips. It's great if there is such an opportunity. The sharper the change of scenery, the better.

Breaking up with a man is not a reason to be disappointed in yourself. Your life goes on.

How to become a confident mother?

The birth of a child changes life dramatically and forever. What can I recommend:

• do not lose calm and confidence despite your lack of experience. You will very quickly learn how to care for your baby, your experience will grow with your child, and soon you will be able to give advice yourself;
• gratefully accept the advice and help of the older generation, but the final word in the education process remains with you;
• don't forget about yourself. Involve your husband and other loved ones and find time for yourself - go to the hairdresser, take a bath, get some sleep;
• value communication with your child. Rejoice at his smiles, first teeth and steps, and discover this wonderful world with him.

Life modern woman varied and rich. To become self-confident and achieve success, it is enough to believe in yourself, in your strengths, and start acting.

The successes achieved will increase your self-esteem, strengthen your self-confidence - and inspire you to new achievements. After all, you really deserve it!

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Advice from psychologists: How to become more confident in yourself:

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Hello! In this article we will talk about how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence!

Each person is individual. It consists of large quantities advantages and disadvantages. But all people treat themselves differently. It's all about self-esteem. For most people it is very low, and this becomes main reason many problems. Let's look together at what the concept of “self-esteem” means, why it can be low, what this problem can lead to, and how to increase self-confidence.

What is self-esteem? Her levels

There are several definitions for this concept, but the simplest and easiest to understand is the following.

Self-esteem is a person's attitude towards himself. It can be overestimated, normal and underestimated.

Inflated self-esteem People suffer who extol their skills, human qualities, talents, physical capabilities, etc. Most often, these are “narcissists” who do not have outstanding capabilities. They simply cannot adequately evaluate themselves, so they consider themselves better than others.

Adequate self-esteem It occurs among people who realistically assess their strengths and skills. They understand that in addition to their advantages, they also have disadvantages. But they do not focus on failures, but confidently go through life, achieving their goals.

Low self-esteem not uncommon in modern society. People with such self-esteem cannot adequately assess all their abilities and consider themselves worse than others, constantly creating complexes and fears for themselves. These are pessimists who do not believe in their abilities, constantly complain about life and do not know how to overcome self-doubt.

Self-esteem tests

In order to find out what level your self-esteem is, we suggest taking several simple tests.

Self-esteem test No. 1

Try to quickly answer the following questions without thinking. Answer only “Yes” or “No”. Then count the total number of positive and negative answers.

1. Do you often scold yourself for mistakes you have made?
2. Do you gossip with your friends by talking about others?
3. Do you lack clear goals and plans for your life?
4. Do you not go to the gym and neglect physical activity?
5. Do you often worry about trifles?
6. When you find yourself in an unfamiliar company, do you try not to stand out and be invisible?
7. When you meet a person of the opposite sex, do you know how to carry on a conversation?
8. Is criticism towards you causing depression?
9. Do you envy the success of others?
10. Are you hurt by careless words spoken to you?

Test result:

If you answered “Yes” 1 to 3 times, then you have normal self-esteem.

If you answered “Yes” more than 3 times, this indicates that you are a person with low self-esteem.

Self-esteem test No. 2

When answering each question, count the number of points earned. After passing the test, add up all the numbers obtained and compare them with the results.

1. Do you often think and reproach yourself for certain actions or statements?

Often – 1 point;

Sometimes – 3 points .

1. How do you behave when interacting with witty people?

Trying to surpass them in wit - 5 points;

Try to stop communication as quickly as possible – 1 point;

1. Which statement do you prefer?

“Luck is the result of the actions and labors of every person” – 5 points;

“Luck is unpredictable” – 1 point;

“A person should rely only on himself, and not on the gifts of fate” – 3 points.

1. If you were given a cartoon as a gift, what should you do?

You will be delighted with the gift – 3 points;

Be offended – 1 point;

Take this idea and give a friend a similar surprise - 4 points;

1. Are you short of time?

Yes – 1 point;

No – 5 points;

I don’t know – 3 points.

1. When choosing perfumes as a gift you:

1. Have you imagined yourself in the role of another person?

Yes – 1 point;

No – 5 points;

I don’t know – 3 points.

Test results:

If you scored 10-23 points, then you have low self-esteem. You often express dissatisfaction with yourself. You should think about how to improve your self-esteem.

A result of 24-37 points indicates that you are a harmonious person. You know how to praise yourself and treat all your mistakes adequately.

If you scored 38-50 points, this means that you are a confident person, but sometimes you are self-critical.

If, after passing the tests, you want to learn how to love yourself and increase your self-esteem, you need to comprehensively study your psyche.

At first glance, self-esteem is a fairly simple concept that does not imply any difficulties. In fact, self-esteem is the starting point in personality formation. It has a number of functions:

• Protective. A morally stable person who is confident in his strengths and abilities is absolutely not interested in what others think about him. High self-esteem allows you to be stable and independent from the opinions of other people;
• Regulatory. A person with a normal level of self-esteem independently makes personal decisions. He understands that his life depends only on his decisions and actions;
• Developmental. A self-sufficient person is interested in his own further development. He thirsts for new knowledge and is constantly improving.

Why low self-esteem needs to be corrected

Perhaps people who have similar problems will not agree that something needs to be changed in life. Of course, it’s easier to sit, do nothing, suffer and blame everyone for the failures in your life.

But people with low self-esteem and self-doubt rarely achieve what they want in life, occupy lower positions, and have a minimum salary. Maybe they dream of earning several times more, of being self-sufficient.

But for this it is necessary to accept important decisions, be confident in yourself, have a goal and try to achieve it. An insecure person will never become a leader, and the business he creates is practically doomed to fail.

If you want to become a happy and financially independent person, then you urgently need to correct your psycho-emotional state and learn more about how to love yourself.

Causes of low self-esteem

Our attitude towards ourselves is formed in early childhood. Parents play an important role in this.

If the child is constantly reproached, scolded, told that he is bad, and, for example, Petya is good, then the child feels that he is worse than others. It seems to parents that they are raising their child in this way, but in fact they are crippling his psyche and making him a failure in life.

In addition to parents, the child’s environment leaves its mark on a child’s self-esteem. If the baby is in kindergarten or at school he is offended by his peers, he closes himself off, withdraws into himself and begins to hate everything around him.

Also the reason bad attitude to oneself may become a physical disability, or developmental defects. For example, if a child wears glasses, he is more likely to be teased by other children. In this case, parents must compensate for this deficiency.

For example, if the child is fat, then you can send him to sports section struggle. There he will develop physically, acquire self-defense skills and be able to prove in practice that he is not weak and can stand up for himself.

The formation of self-esteem is influenced by many factors. Also, the reasons for low self-esteem may be:

• Improper upbringing;
• Constant failures at an early age;
• Wrong goal setting;
• Unhealthy environment, etc.

A person who lacks self-confidence is very easy to spot. Psychology experts identify several signs of low self-esteem. Such an individual:

• Constantly criticizes himself and expresses dissatisfaction with himself;
• Listens to the opinions and criticism of others, which is why he suffers greatly;
• There is indecision in actions, fear of doing something wrong and making a mistake;
• Unbridled jealousy;
• Feels envious of other people's achievements and successes;
• Tries to please everyone;
• He is hostile towards all the people around him;
• Does not defend his point of view, constantly takes a defensive position and makes excuses;
• Has a pessimistic attitude and perceives reality negatively.

An individual with low self-esteem is constantly looking for problems, blaming everyone and does not know how to enjoy life. This attitude towards oneself can lead to serious mental illness and prolonged depression.

If you have at least three of the above signs, then you should think about how to believe in yourself.

Signs of high self-esteem

People with high or normal self-esteem are more successful, cheerful and optimistic. A person who adequately evaluates himself has the following characteristics:

• Accepts his external and physical appearance as he really is;
• Confident in yourself and your abilities;
• He is not afraid to make mistakes, and perceives any troubles as an important lesson;
• Reacts adequately to criticism and praise;
• Finds mutual language with people. Knows how to behave in society;
• Understands that everyone has their own opinion, respects everyone’s choice, but defends his own point of view;
• Controls your physical and emotional state;
• Constantly improving and developing;
• Achieves set goals.

Without believing in yourself, it is impossible to live a full life, enjoy every day and be a successful person. If you set certain goals for yourself and want to change any aspect of your life, then you will have to change your attitude towards yourself.

It is possible and necessary to raise self-esteem. Your future depends on it. If you still doubt this, then you should know that most suicides are carried out by people with low self-esteem. Therefore, do not be lazy, study all the ways to increase self-esteem and start working on yourself.

Learn to set achievable and realistic goals

People who don't believe in themselves most often set unattainable goals. And they throw up their hands and say: “I knew that nothing would work out for me.” You must try to look at things realistically and set realistic goals for yourself.

For example, you want to become a famous fashion designer, but you don’t know how to sew or draw. In this case, it is necessary to break one big dream into several small ones and gradually implement them. Sign up for cutting and sewing courses, and when you finish them, take a drawing course. With minimal knowledge, it will be easier for you to succeed.

Give up criticism

Stop constantly criticizing yourself and listen less to the criticism of others. Do not ask people for their opinion about your actions, the work you have done, etc. If someone decides to express their opinion about you, it is better to politely ask not to do this.

Try to eradicate your dependence on public opinion.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Each person is individual and unique. Some people write poetry but can’t draw, and artists aren’t good at math. Don’t blame yourself for doing something worse than others and stop constantly comparing yourself.

Realize that you are a unique individual with your own set of talents.

Insecure people do not believe that they can do anything good. Therefore, praise can be perceived as mockery or ridicule. Never say that your work is nothing. When you are praised, do not lower your eyes, hold your gaze and simply say “Thank you.”

Don't make excuses

Never make excuses or blame yourself for what happened. What's done is already done. If, for example, some action has Negative consequences, it is better to learn a lesson from this and not make similar mistakes in the future.

Learn to ask for help

Many people are afraid and do not dare to ask colleagues, friends or acquaintances for help. They think that their ignorance or inability to do something can cause ridicule and bullying. In fact, no one can know and be able to do everything in the world. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help.

Communicate more often with loved ones and people who love you

In case of failures or some troubles, do not keep everything to yourself. Communicate with your relatives more often, because they, more than anyone else, believe in you, approve of most of your actions and always support you.

If you feel blue, don’t withdraw into yourself, just call your parents, and they will find the right words to support you.

Get your work done

Be responsible in every endeavor. Bring everything to completion, even small things. Don’t put them off “for later”, because... most likely they will remain unfulfilled.

Learn to love your body

Every person has both advantages and disadvantages. Learn to hide flaws and highlight strengths. For example, if it is necessary to increase the self-esteem and self-confidence of a woman with broad shoulders, it is enough to choose the right cut of clothes and others will not notice this flaw. At the same time, you need to draw the attention of others to your own strengths, for example, beautiful legs. Don't focus on negative qualities, better learn to love yourself for great amount advantages.

Exercise and live a healthy lifestyle

Everyone knows that in healthy body healthy mind. People who care about their health very rarely have low self-esteem. This is due at least to the fact that during sports the joy hormone is produced, you feel satisfied and at ease.

By leading an active lifestyle and eating right, you correct your figure, begin to like yourself, and this helps you love yourself and increase your self-esteem.

Watch your appearance

If a person does not take care of his hairstyle, manicure, condition of clothes, etc., then everyone, and he in particular, feels disgusted with the created image. The sight of a sloppy person is repulsive.

But if you go to the hairdresser, put on ironed clothes and use good perfume, then your shoulders will straighten on their own and you will feel a new confidence.

Get rid of bad habits

Insecure people often relieve stress with cigarettes and alcohol. Under the influence of alcohol, problems seem not so big, and life is easier. But when the morning comes, you realize that the difficulties have not disappeared and must be overcome.

Don't waste your time on smoking breaks and constant drinking. This is how you ruin your body and put off solving problems. When you throw at least one bad habit, you will definitely gain faith in yourself.

Communicate with optimists and successful people

The circle of people with whom we communicate leaves a big imprint on our psyche and habits. We adopt each other's habits, thereby trying to imitate someone.

If you are surrounded by people who are constantly dissatisfied with everything and have a pessimistic attitude, then sooner or later you will become depressed.

Avoid the company of whiners and try to communicate with cheerful people who will charge you with positivity, instill confidence in yourself and push you to achieve new goals.

Attend psychologists and trainings

If you are sure that you cannot cope with the problem of low self-esteem on your own, then you can seek the advice of a psychologist. A specialist will teach you to love yourself.

In parallel with this, you can attend several trainings aimed at increasing self-esteem. It will be at least interesting and at most useful.

Listen to affirmations

Remember the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive”. There main character, standing in front of the mirror, repeated the words about how beautiful she is and how men like her. Thus, she increased her self-esteem by constantly repeating affirmations.

An affirmation is a short text that people repeat or listen to to increase their self-esteem.

Try this too. For example, learn the phrase “I am a successful person. I will achieve all my goals” and repeat it constantly. You can also record it on digital media (flash drive, disk, etc.) and listen to it constantly.

After a while, you will forget what low self-esteem is.

Learn to get out of your “comfort zone”

People who lack self-confidence try to be invisible. It's very difficult for them to do new job, errands or just meeting unknown people.

If you plan to become a successful person and then start doing things that are unusual for you. Take on tasks that you previously avoided. For example, if you are planning a New Year's corporate party, and no one agrees to play the role of Santa Claus, propose your candidacy. This way, you will get rid of the fear of public speaking and get out of your “comfort zone”.

Read positive literature

Give preference to books with a good ending. After reading another fairy-tale novel, you will believe that sometimes this happens in life.

Find your dream job

Every person has favorite hobby. But more often, citizens of our country choose a profession not according to the call of their hearts, but according to the size of their salary. Therefore, the work performed does not bring the necessary satisfaction, and this can cause low self-esteem.

In order to increase a man’s self-confidence, it is necessary to change his profession, and if this is not possible, then you can try to pay maximum attention to some hobby. Doing what you love gives you faith, because it’s nice to do what you do well.

Learn to give yourself to others

If possible, be sure to help your friends, relatives and little-known people. If they ask for help, it means they believe that you can help. Perhaps their faith will boost your self-esteem.

Live by your wishes

Successful and confident people constantly want more and achieve it. Try it and you will constantly want something and do everything to achieve it. After your desires are achieved, you will realize that everything is working out for you and you can do anything you want.

Envy is not the best quality in a person. It forces us to compare ourselves with others. Never envy anyone, but be happy with what you have.

Don't impose yourself, don't be a hypocrite, and don't be false.

These three qualities prevent a person from having adequate self-esteem. If a colleague does not want to communicate closely with you, you should not impose yourself. Find a lot of benefits in this. Don't ingratiate yourself with people and make yourself inferior to someone else.

Throw away your laziness

When a person is lazy, he easily becomes depressed. Of course, we do not encourage you to work constantly. Just learn to distinguish laziness from rest.

If it’s hard for you to overcome idleness, then against your will, start doing the planned work, and the desire will come to you a little later.

Take action!

The longer you lie on the couch and dream about a bright future, the further it moves away from you. Start changing yourself and your worldview now. No need to wait tomorrow, Monday or the beginning of a new month. Act now!

Techniques and techniques for increasing self-esteem

Psychologists advise using the following exercises for people with low self-esteem.

Make a list of your positive qualities

People with low self-esteem are not used to talking and thinking well about themselves. It is easier for them to find 100 flaws in themselves than several advantages. But every person has a lot of positive qualities.

In order to understand this, take a piece of paper and write down all your advantages. For example, you bake the most delicious pies, you can fix any household item, you have beautiful hair, long eyelashes, thin waist etc. Throughout the day, add new advantages to the list, then attach it to a visible place (for example, on the refrigerator) and review it regularly.

Keep a “Success Diary”

This method is very similar to the previous one. Only now you will have to write down your successes and achievements every day in a designated notebook. For example, they gave alms to a needy person, helped a child solve a problem, prepared a very delicious dinner, helped my wife make purchases, etc.

This method will help increase your level of self-esteem thanks to a visual list of achievements.

Amulet

People have a lot of fears. But everyone has to overcome them every day. If you can't do this, try finding an amulet for yourself. This can be any little thing (for example, a coin, a small toy, etc.) Magical properties she is unlikely to have it, but you must believe that the amulet will help you and protect you from troubles.

So, overcoming fear and self-doubt, you will achieve your goal, and any achievements have a beneficial effect on the human psyche.

Actor

Even if you don't feel happy, try to play the role of a cheerful and carefree person. Imagine that you are an actor who has been assigned an important role and you need to get into character. Very soon you will notice that you are no longer playing a role, but actually feel more successful and happy.

This method is aimed at overcoming fears. If you are a shy student and don't like speaking in public, ask for an assignment that involves speaking in public. Nominate yourself as the main character theatrical production, or take up writing a report that you will successfully read at an open seminar.

By leaving your “comfort zone,” you get rid of fears, thereby gaining confidence in your own abilities.

Clown

If you feel inferior, you are sure that you look bad and try not to attract special attention, then this method is just for you.

Dress very brightly and tastelessly, like a clown. Apply provocative makeup, put on pants and a skirt, attach curlers or a winter hat to your head in the summer and go to the store. Don't pay attention to the surprised looks of passers-by. This is how you leave your “comfort zone”.

Once you reincarnate into your everyday look, you will definitely become confident/confident and increase your self-esteem.

Conclusion

Low self-esteem is psychological condition person that requires adjustment. People without self-confidence are unhappy in 99% of cases. They are a gray mass that lives their lives thoughtlessly. Few people want to communicate with this category of people. This is why a person with low self-esteem is withdrawn and has practically no friends.

In order to correct the situation it is necessary:

• Believe in yourself;
• Learn to set goals and achieve them;
• Get out of your “comfort zone”;
• Communicate with successful and cheerful people;
• Develop mental and physical capabilities.

If you use all the tips and do all the exercises, you will definitely achieve great heights in life. And remember the expression that others treat us this way, this is how we treat ourselves.

How to increase self-esteem– the solution to this issue interests millions. Success in life depends on self-esteem. Self-esteem is an individual’s attitude towards his own personality, an assessment of his potential, existing abilities, his social status, an individual’s idea and vision of himself. Those. self-esteem is not a personality characteristic. Interaction with the surrounding society, exactingness, criticism of oneself and other people, and attitude towards successes and failures depend on a correct assessment of oneself. Self-esteem is more often underestimated than overestimated. Significant role The achievements of the individual and his assessment by others play a role in the formation of correct self-esteem.

How to raise your self-esteem

How to increase your self-esteem? Psychology says that it is quite simple if a person wants it himself. What is low self-esteem? Where does it come from? Many psychologists believe that inadequate self-esteem comes from childhood. Very often, parents, without realizing it themselves, form low self-esteem in their children, calling them “blunderers”, “armless”, “clumsies”, etc. For babies from birth, parents are the most significant people in life, they are people from whom you need to take an example and therefore they believe every phrase they say. So if you constantly tell children that they are bad, they will become that way. The child will treat himself the way his parents treat him. Therefore, if your child does something wrong, then you should not call him incompetent, it is better to just show him how to do it correctly.

However, low self-esteem does not always come from childhood. Sometimes, in an adult, self-esteem can drop greatly under the influence of external circumstances, for example, due to dismissal from work or divorce.

How to increase self-esteem? Self-esteem can and should be increased. If it has not moved to, then there are many ways to improve it. If you become depressed, you should seek professional help.

How can you raise your self-esteem? Psychology advises several proven and quite simple methods. However, you should not think that the result will come instantly. Also, an excessive desire to achieve a goal can become a kind of obstacle to increasing self-esteem. Regular repetition of exercises and constant faith in your strength will one hundred percent lead to success. If you decide to do something, then you need to start as soon as possible, without delaying it. The longer you tune in, the more your head will be attacked by a stream of obsessive thoughts of a negative nature (“you still can’t handle it, why start?”).

You should try to learn something new every day. Self-education is the most important step on the way to increasing self-esteem, and therefore to success. If you don’t understand something during a conversation, don’t be afraid to ask again or ask a question. After all, it’s better to clarify several times than to do it wrong once. Your questions will show the other person that you are listening and taking what they say seriously.

We all often hear the phrase “A healthy mind in a healthy body!” And it is true. A healthy spirit determines an individual’s adequate assessment of himself. A beautiful, stately figure, in addition to gaining ease and smoothness of movements, will also give confidence to its owner. Therefore, you should set aside time for daily sports training, you can sign up for a swimming pool. Women are well influenced by changing their image, visiting a beauty salon or hairdresser.

To increase self-esteem you need a good mood, and good mood Smiling helps, so smile as often as possible and praise yourself for all kinds of successes, even the tiniest ones. You can keep a so-called diary where you will record your successes and achievements.

Under no circumstances should you engage in comparisons with other people. Remember, you are an individual unlike others, this is where your strength lies. You can only compare yourself with yourself from the past.

When making any accusations against you, you should never make excuses; you just need to calmly and clearly explain the reasons for your behavior.

Learn to forgive yourself. Remember that there are no perfect people. Everyone makes mistakes.

Be proactive. Even if something doesn’t work out, it’s still an experience.

How to raise a woman's self-esteem

If you underestimate your own value and dignity, do not believe in your strength, then you have several ways to return your self-esteem to an adequate level and increase your own value in your own eyes. This will take some time, but the results are worth it.

How to increase a woman's self-esteem? The main task techniques and methods for raising self-esteem is the formation of a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Children are often teased at school with offensive nicknames. After many years, children remember the unpleasant emotions that nicknames caused. This is due to the fact that in childhood it is quite difficult to separate other people’s opinions from reality. Adults also often face such problems. Adults attach great importance to the statements of others, allowing them to influence their personality. You need to understand once and for all that it is impossible to please absolutely everyone. The only thing that matters is belief in your strength and potential.

It is advisable for women suffering from inadequate self-esteem to avoid an environment that suppresses them, emotionally drains them, expresses negativity at them, or provokes unnecessary conflicts. It is important to try to spend as much time as possible with people who respect and appreciate you. Communication with them helps to increase self-esteem and help you believe in your potential.

You should not waste time in an environment that constantly criticizes everyone or is dissatisfied with everyone. This will bring you nothing but unpleasant emotions. Such an environment can only destroy the lives of others. After all, such an environment likes to be in conditions of general sorrow. The worse it is for you, the better it is for them. Therefore, a qualitative “audit” of the environment should be carried out. You need to make a list of people with whom you communicate most often. These include colleagues, loved ones, friends and comrades. Ask them to name a few reasons or qualities for which they value you. The more positive qualities your friends name, the easier it will be for you to believe in your importance.

Take a so-called inventory of your achievements. Awareness of your success increases and gives stability to self-esteem. You need to know your positive features, strengths, personal achievements. Everyone has achievements unknown to others. You should make a list of personal achievements and indicate in it solved problems, crises, experienced conflicts, difficult situations that you withstood with dignity. In the beginning, you probably won't be able to make a long list. Therefore, it is necessary to postpone its compilation for a while and return to it periodically. Try not to lose sight of any difficulty, no matter how small, that you have overcome.

How else to raise a woman's self-esteem? Try to understand that you are the owner of your self-esteem. Only you have rights to it. So don't let anyone control your self-esteem. If you do not become the sole owner of your self-esteem, then you risk being satisfied with yourself only if certain conditions are met. In other cases, you will be tormented by dissatisfaction with yourself or your actions. So, for example, you are in a relationship and your loved one began to behave differently, which led you to a loss of self-worth. This means that you are not the owner of your self-esteem, your loved one controls it. You yourself gave him this right.

It is very important to understand who or what influences your sense of self-worth, only then can you consciously decide whether to allow someone to control your sense of self-worth and worth or not.

How to raise a man's self-esteem

How can a person increase self-esteem? What if this person is a man, who a priori should not have low self-esteem?

The level of self-esteem affects all areas of a person’s life. According to studies, men have more adequate self-esteem than women.

Raising a man's self-esteem is quite possible, but it is a rather slow process. In principle, conscious attempts to build self-esteem are beneficial to almost every individual.

Ways to increase self-esteem are primarily aimed at instilling confidence in your potential. The most important thing on the path to increasing self-esteem is to stop any comparisons of your personality with others. There will always be individuals who are smarter than you in some ways, more successful, who have more of something. If you constantly compare with others, then there will always be too many opponents who simply cannot be surpassed.

The surest way for men to raise self-esteem is sports. Classes physical exercise promote the release of adrenaline, make the figure more attractive, which certainly adds confidence to the stronger sex.

You need to stop scolding your person with or without reason. You will never achieve adequate self-esteem if you repeat negative statements and use negative phrases about yourself and your potential. And it doesn’t matter if you scold yourself for your appearance, figure, social status or financial situation. It is important to learn to avoid self-deprecating comments. Increasing the level of self-esteem is directly proportional to opinions and statements about one’s personality.

Learn to accept all compliments with a simple “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with a phrase like “I didn’t do anything special,” you are rejecting the compliment and at the same time sending information to your brain that you are simply unworthy of praise. This leads to low self-esteem. Therefore, you should accept praise without belittling your merits.

Use affirmations to correct your self-esteem. Create a card with positive affirming phrases and place it somewhere visible or frequently used. Such an item, for example, could be a refrigerator or wallet. May these affirmations always be with you. Try to repeat the phrases several times a day, especially before bed and in the morning before going to work. Each time you repeat statements, you need to create a positive attitude for yourself. In this way, the effect of affirmations will be significantly enhanced.

Read more literature or watch training sessions dedicated to increasing your level of self-esteem. Give preference to communicating only with positive and successful people. Do only things that truly bring you pleasure. It is quite difficult to feel positive emotions about yourself if your days are spent at a boring and annoying job. Conversely, self-esteem will increase when you are engaged in a job you love or another activity that brings you satisfaction and makes you feel more valuable. If it is not possible to change jobs, then you can free time devote yourself to hobbies that bring you joy.

Try to live your life. You will not be able to respect yourself if you live according to someone else's orders, if you make decisions based on the approval of colleagues, friends, and loved ones.

It is impossible for a man to raise his self-esteem by avoiding activity. You need to act and accept the challenges thrown by fate. In cases where you act regardless of the result, your self-esteem and self-confidence will grow in direct proportion, thereby increasing your self-esteem.

Believe that you are a unique person who has a lot of opportunities and great potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will be revealed. Try to devote time to self-education. After all, knowledge is power.

See how others treat you. After all, the environment is a kind of mirror that reflects your own attitude to yourself. Therefore, start appreciating your “I” from this moment, without putting it off until tomorrow.

A man's self-esteem depends very much on women. Therefore, if you notice that your loved one has become gloomy, if he has appeared, and he began to consider himself a failure, then try to support him, praise him, give him compliments. Remember, behind great and famous men there have always been women. Beautiful women are capable of giving their stronger half wings with just one smile, one kind word, but also with one careless phrase they can cut off their enthusiasm.

How to raise a girl's self-esteem

In order to increase self-esteem, you must first understand what exactly can bring it to new level from girls. What will make a girl valuable in the eyes of others and in her own? Maybe it's money, a change in hairstyle or overall image, a car or an apartment, new knowledge or acquiring a profession? Is not a fact. Of course, all of the above is a component, but all this will not matter if the girl herself does not love herself. People around you will always be able to tell whether you love yourself or not. Therefore, they treat you accordingly. How can people who are strangers to you, who know practically nothing about you, love you if you cannot love yourself?

Ways to raise self-esteem for girls are primarily aimed at teaching them love and self-respect.

All girls, without exception, regardless of age, breast size and leg length, are prone to periodic dissatisfaction with themselves and their appearance, relationships with surrounding men or girlfriends. During such a period, external confirmation of one’s significance and attractiveness is required to regain lost confidence in oneself and one’s potential. Girls can convince themselves that no one needs them, that no one loves them. They don’t understand how you can love a person if he has small breasts, for example. Then the girls continue to beat themselves up and come to the conclusion that everything is wrong with them. And naturally, in such a state, no one can respect them. Consequently, confidence decreases and self-esteem decreases. And none of the girls thinks that they themselves are destroying their “I” through their efforts. It is necessary to understand that people will see you exactly as you see yourself - dissatisfied with your appearance, always whining, crying, and so on.

How to increase a girl's self-esteem? Learn to love your appearance, try to admire yourself always, at any time of the day. It is important to feel love for your person regardless of your weight, height, eye color or shape, nose shape, etc. Each girl is unique, different from others, a unique personality. Uniqueness is something that remains valuable and is considered important at any age. Think: would you like to come to a party and see your rival wearing the same dress as you? The dress may be very expensive, but it will no longer be exclusive. That's how it is with people. You try to be like someone, constantly compare with the standard you have invented, forgetting that if you become like someone, you will lose your exclusivity. Therefore, do not look for flaws in your appearance and appearance. Everyone has shortcomings. People around you will not pay attention to shortcomings if the girl leads independently and confidently. And independence and confidence are determined only by the love of the fair sex for her person. In order to learn to love yourself, you need to remember that any girl, girl, woman is beautiful a priori. Because every person is exceptional. Such exclusivity is formed by the combination of all its shortcomings, bad and good qualities.

A person consisting of nothing but merits is a boring person. Much more interesting and multifaceted, having both pros and cons. It is the imperfections of the figure and character that give the appearance of ladies a certain amount of charm and charm, adding zest and charm to the image. Imperfections make the fair sex mysterious, enchanting and unpredictable. There is nothing more attractive than a girl full of secrets.

Therefore, love yourself, along with your shortcomings, feelings, aspirations and desires. Try to accept your experiences and never suppress them. This helps to gain control over them, which leads to confidence in one's own potential and actions. In order to love your own personality, you need to learn to respect your personality. However, this does not mean that you should justify all your actions. Justifying bad actions is a step towards losing self-respect. It is necessary to accept the fact that you do not always act correctly, beautifully or correctly towards others. Try not to make excuses for yourself, but simply not allow this behavior to happen again. Learn from all your actions. You need to learn to understand in which situations you are right and in which you are wrong. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. The main thing is to try to prevent their repetition in the future.

So, if you feel unsure of your attractiveness, then don’t despair - this is just a reason to take time for yourself, a reason to take care of yourself. Update your wardrobe, get a new hairstyle or change your hair color, try different makeup. If you are not ready for a radical change in your image, then you can experiment with your hairstyle - get bangs or, on the contrary, pin them up. There are many tinting shampoos that will give you a different hair color temporarily.

After changing your appearance, it's time to engage in self-hypnosis. Have you ever thought about the fact that you are constantly programming yourself for negative emotions and your own inferiority, scolding and slandering yourself. Do you really think that this will not affect your self-esteem? In case of any failures, you should not reproach yourself, but, on the contrary, focus only on the positive. Any mistakes are not a tragedy, but just experience. It's up to you whether you repeat them again or gain useful experience. Praise yourself for any successes and achievements.

To give yourself confidence, you should educate yourself. The more knowledge you have, the calmer you will feel in any situation. social contacts, since the possibility of getting into trouble due to ignorance decreases, therefore, the reasons for anxiety disappear. Therefore, do not waste time, sign up for educational courses or trainings, start reading interesting literature, watch educational programs. All this together has a positive effect on the level of self-esteem.

Come up with your ideal image and try to make it come true. Describe on paper all the character traits you would like to have and stick to them.

How to raise self-esteem for the fair sex? There are several simple rules that must always be remembered: no one has yet been born queens, but many have become famous women after years. Therefore, day after day, remind yourself that you are worthy of great things; part with doubts and fears once and for all, forget about complexes; set goals and achieve them. It is not necessary to start with global achievements. Let the victory be small, but it is yours; keep yourself a success diary; Constantly monitor the flow of your thoughts. Don't let them veer towards the negative; try to smile as often as possible. A smile improves your mood, relaxes and calms you down.

However, following all the above rules will be useless without the support of loved ones. It is the influence and faith of our loved ones that makes us stronger, more confident and better than we are. Therefore, the easiest way to raise a girl’s self-esteem is with the praise of loved ones. You should always praise the fair sex for even tiny achievements. Husbands should praise their wives for a deliciously prepared dinner, even if it is slightly salty, because their beloved tried. Praise girls for their sense of humor, tell them that they are talented, that you appreciate all their efforts and work.

How to raise a teenager's self-esteem

Every person has a sense of self-worth. It is from this that the image of one’s own “I” is formed and a sense of confidence in one’s potential and oneself develops. The foundations of adequate self-esteem are laid in early childhood and depend on how children perceived and felt the love of their parents.

The child should feel that he is loved just like that, without any conditions, just because he exists. Children do not need to do anything striving for achievements and victories in order to receive recognition and love from their parents. Only under such conditions do children develop an adequate sense of self-worth, supported by internal resources.

It so happens that a baby feels parental love only when he meets the requirements and expectations of adults. So, for example, he must always be obedient, put his toys and his things away, and receive only good grades at school. This feeling of love leads to the emergence of internal anxiety due to the need to constantly meet some of the requirements and expectations of the parents. In such cases, a lack of sense of self-worth arises and there is a constant need to feed it from the outside.

People with a lack of self-worth are quite vulnerable in circumstances when they are treated unfairly, undeservedly, when they feel hidden or open, hypocrisy, when their hopes are not met, when they feel disappointed.

It is the puberty period (adolescence) that is a turning point in the life of an emerging and developing personality. And self-esteem in adolescents is their most vulnerable point. The lower its level, the higher the likelihood of the emergence of various complexes that can significantly worsen an individual’s life even at an older age. Parents have a huge responsibility during this period. They are the ones who must help their child in such a difficult and difficult period for him.

How to raise a teenager's self-esteem? First of all, parents of a teenager need to monitor his appearance and try to correct it if it is not in order (for example, very often teenagers are embarrassed by juvenile acne, the task of parents is to help them get rid of the tormenting problem). You should always listen to what exactly the child wants. We need to let him decide for himself what to wear today, choose things for himself in stores. Parents can only slightly adjust their choices and control them unobtrusively. Try to praise your teenager as often as possible. Don’t look for his shortcomings, try to pay attention only to his advantages.

Most parents don’t even realize that they can increase a teenager’s self-esteem by teaching him to just say “no.” If a child cannot refuse anyone anything, then this can lead, after some time, to dependence on other people. The teenager will feel led. Therefore, try to explain in what situations you can refuse. You need to teach him to refuse in such a way that he does not feel uncomfortable.

It is very important that parents respect their children. Treat your teenager with respect, because you need to understand that although he is not yet an adult, he is no longer a child. A person should not be treated like a child. Talk to him often. When communicating with him, try to behave like an adult.

Some simple tips on how to raise your child’s self-esteem. Firstly, you need to learn to praise your child correctly. You should not praise him for what is given to him by nature or for beautiful clothes. Praise your teenager for his achievements, small victories, successes. To make your child feel that you treat him as an equal, ask him for advice more often and ask for his opinion. Secondly, it is necessary to encourage initiative in a teenager. Any initiative is a step towards adequate self-esteem. Teach your child to analyze his mistakes and failures. Help him understand that a mistake is an experience, it is just another step on the path to success.

People with high self-esteem are not easy to find. After all, even society doesn't really approve of an overly positive view of oneself. We all constantly compare ourselves to supermodels or think that we should earn more and become better. But you can change the situation! Here are twelve steps you can take today.

Pay attention to how you refer to yourself

Do you realize how many negative thoughts pass through your mind in a day? Hardly. Even if it’s something as common as “My hair is terrible today,” it’s worth paying attention and controlling your attitude. Take a notepad and write down all the bad things you think about yourself. After a week, look at the resulting list, think about it and write a refutation for each item.

Don't compare yourself to others

Your self-esteem instantly drops when you look at Angelina Jolie or your millionaire relative's bank account. But you can change the situation! Stop comparing yourself to others. Think about what you have. You have a roof over your head, food on the table, you are already lucky. Be grateful for everything you have and don't complain about what you don't have.

Don't live in the past

Even if you did something in the past that you are ashamed of, it cannot define your personality for the rest of your life. No one can turn back time, so the best thing you can do is forgive yourself for the mistake, decide not to repeat it and move on. If you think about failure over and over again, you won't achieve anything. Or maybe, on the contrary, it was better in the past? This is also not a reason to live in bygone days. Everything changes, and life does not stand still, move on with it.

Find a friend to support you

Anyone who has ever tried to change their habits knows how difficult it is. Low self-esteem is also a kind of habit, it is the nature of your chosen thoughts. That is why it is important to have someone who would point out to us the appearance of negativity in our mood and help us return to a positive mood. Sometimes we just don't realize how much we underestimate ourselves.

Understand what makes you feel unimportant

Think about the reasons for low self-esteem. Maybe you always had a more successful sister? Were you teased as a child? Everyone has weak spots, so it’s important to deal with them and try not to think badly about yourself. Everything that caused you negativity is already in the past, you have changed. Don't evaluate yourself in that context.

Separate thoughts from real facts

Maybe you think that you have excess weight, but in fact everything is completely wrong. Maybe you are simply surrounded by thinner friends, and you are average in size. If you constantly compare yourself to others, your reality will not be objective. Rely only on the facts - feelings are very different from them, and they cannot always be completely trusted.

Treat yourself like a friend who needs support

We all criticize ourselves much more than our friends. Good friend will always support and will not make malicious comments. Become that friend to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Give compliments and praise yourself more often. You don't need anyone for this, you can do it yourself.

Believe people who praise you

Some people are completely incapable of accepting compliments. It sounds strange, but it is true. The reason is that they just don't believe in good words. They have a completely different belief in their head that they are wrong and not good. Stop doing this! If someone praises you, believe him! Say “thank you” and smile!

Use visualization

By repeating affirmations and visualization, you can reprogram your mind. The more you convince yourself that your self-esteem is normal or imagine how your life has changed, the more your brain confuses this with reality. Repeat to yourself that you good man that you are worthy of love. Visualize your happiness and feel better.

Take advantage of hypnosis

In order to reprogram consciousness, there are other techniques. For example, hypnosis is a very effective tool. It is enough to get a special disc and listen to it regularly, and your self-esteem can become much higher than before.

List your good qualities and achievements

Sometimes we focus too much on our shortcomings without noticing our positive qualities. Take some time for yourself - sit down and write down your positives. Whatever it is, write down any advantage, talent, character trait. What have you been able to do successfully in the past? Remember your achievements and realize that you matter to this world.

Take action

Reading a motivational article can be very interesting, but it won't do any good if you don't take action. Listen to all these tips! Take action! Try something! The path to success begins with one step, so be bold.

23 212 0 Self-esteem. What it is? Can we say that self-esteem determines who we are, our lives, the relationships we build with others, our professional achievements? Of course yes! Self-esteem helps us solve everyday problems and make decisions. How we cope with difficulties and interact with other people affects our sense of self.

Many people throughout their lives strive for false ways to increase their self-esteem, hiding behind expensive things, aiming for ideal figure. If you think for a second and remember some famous and successful personalities who were seen in simple clothes and hardly looked like they were successful, more like “hipsters”. It is unlikely that they suffer from low self-esteem, because their bank account says otherwise.

Everything comes from our consciousness and subconscious, from how and what we think about and what feelings we experience at this moment.

Of course, our physical health also plays an important role. The way we eat, whether we exercise. After all, if we feel unwell, we are unlikely to be confident in everything.

1. Fear.

Often, before making a decision, we experience fear. Fear protects our body from danger, leaving us in the comfort zone, as a result of which we do not dare to change anything. Everyone dreams of something that they can’t begin to do; someone has always wanted to learn how to snowboard or open their own culinary business, and perhaps even have a child. But at the stage of thinking about this, we already experience fear, although we have not even taken a step towards realizing what we planned.

One of the first goals on the path to increasing self-esteem is to get rid of fear.

Sit at home in a quiet room, relax and think about your fear. Think of it like a picture in a frame. Then imagine how this picture moves away from you and becomes less and less noticeable, ultimately turning into a point that disappears altogether.

The next way to get rid of fear is to feel the insignificance of fear, and also that it does not deserve your worries. And then erase this picture with your hand, as if you were rubbing your hand over a foggy window.

2. Flexibility of character.

Develop the flexibility of your character. Everyone has probably noticed an acute reaction to a minor incident - for example, friends deciding to cancel a meeting at the last minute. Scientists believe that this comes from our childhood. To begin, clearly define in what cases you begin to overreact. Are the circumstances so dire that one would react this way? Is this situation worth reacting so sharply? If these questions make you feel defensive, then you really are overreacting. this situation. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to recognize their essence and understand what in your past caused them. Another way is to intentionally, consciously change your habits. Ask yourself how committed you are to your usual plans. Can you take a different route from work? Or go to the store on Wednesday, and not on Thursday, as usual? Can you change your plans without getting disoriented? This is your chance to become more flexible. Flexibility in one area gives you the opportunity to develop flexibility in other areas.

3. Set tasks for yourself and solve them.

Set realistic goals for yourself and achieve them. Choose the most important ones from your daily routine and solve them. You will experience a feeling of satisfaction and ease if you start with the most complex tasks and you will gradually move towards easier ones. Perhaps success will not always be, but this should not depress you; on the contrary, remember the tasks that you have already completed. Feel confident that you can achieve everything (“the foundation was poured, the walls were installed, the ceiling remains, but there are not enough resources. It’s okay. But how quickly the foundation was poured and how well everything else was done”). Always think about what you are good at. If something works out, then you deserve it. Self-confidence will come when you realize that the assigned tasks have been completed, even if they were small and simple.

How to learn to value yourself?

Each of us is a unique personality, each has a certain set of personal qualities, skills, achievements. Everyone perceives the world differently. In order to notice your uniqueness and enjoy it every day, write down on a piece of paper everything that you consider to be the best about yourself. It can be beautiful eyes or certain professional achievements (“I have a lot of experience in a certain field”), as well as character traits (“responsive”, “I’m a good listener”). If you think of something you don't like, don't write it down. Don’t limit yourself to one day; constantly re-read and add to the list.

You can also ask your loved ones about how and under what situation they could turn to you as a specialist, a person with experience. Write this down and read it periodically. This will give you self-confidence and also peace of mind that there are people you can turn to for support.

4. Find something that gives you strength and confidence.

Perhaps it’s a yoga class or a walk along the embankment, or maybe it’s minutes spent reading your favorite book, or just pleasant memories that fill you with a sense of satisfaction, after which you feel a surge of strength and joy.

Fill your life with colors. Don't leave your gold-plated service for the holidays, take it out and use it every day, enjoying its beauty.

Also, psychologists advise developing what gives you strength and confidence. If you are not good at foreign languages ​​(and you have already signed up for courses in foreign language) and at the same time you are depressed, the success of others can only aggravate your condition. Instead, focus on what works best for you. Awareness of your own mastery increases self-confidence by positive emotions that you experience (pride, joy, lightness of mind).

5. Preserve and emphasize your uniqueness.

There is no need to drown in your husband’s problems and worries about your children. You can love a person, perform various “feats” for him and get pleasure from it, but you cannot live for him, and he cannot live for you. Your loved one loves you for who you are, do not lose your uniqueness and individuality.

Now you know how to raise a woman’s self-esteem! If you have your own methods, then share them in the comments!

Video from a professional psychologist on how to increase self-esteem. Where do legs grow from and how to deal with it?